Sex With Emily - Getting Into Pleasure Shape with Dr. Carolyn Delucia

Episode Date: October 2, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by board certified OBGYN, medical director of VSPot Medi Spa, & author Dr. Carolyn Delucia to talk about the latest technological solutions for women’s health. The two of them talk about new, easy procedures that help women strengthen the pelvic floor & alleviate their pain, what vaginismus is, & her new book Ultimate Intimacy: The Revolutionary Science of Female Sexual Health. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.comFor more info on Dr. Carolyn Delucia, click HERE.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

people have just had pain during sex maybe they've always had it or now they have it after childbirth or is it going through parimenopause? Where do we start with that? Okay, well that's an excellent question and we see this all day. There are many ways and vaginism is an extremely complicated situation because what it really is for the most part is an involuntary spasm of the musculature and it's completely unintentional, but it often will begin with the fear of feeling pain. So women tighten up, and it's like a locked door. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by board-certified OBGYN medical director

V-Spot MediSpot and author, Dr. Carolyn Delusia, to talk about the latest technological solutions for women's health. Topics include painless, easy procedures that can help women strengthen their pelvic floor. All this and more, thanks for listening! You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey girls, gotta have a stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry?

It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Ah, my God, I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

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sex with Emily across the board. All right guys, I hope you enjoy the show. I'm so excited to welcome my dear friend Dr. Carolyn Delusia. She's been on the show before. We met at conferences, essentially talking to doctors and spas about how to talk to women about their sexual health. She's a board certified OBGAYN. She's a medical director at the V-Spot,

MediSpot in New York, and the Viva Rejuvenation Center in New Jersey. And you gotta check out all of the things that she's doing. And she's got a new book, Ultimate Intimacy, the Revolutionary Science of Female Sexual Health. You're busy, Dr. Carolyn. Hi, I miss you.

Hi, I miss you too. But I love listening to your show and all the amazing work you do. We women and couples need help out there. And you're doing it really really well. Thank you. Dr. Carolyn Delusius, so are you okay tell me about your book all of a sudden you text me like I have a book.

I'm like what? In what time did you have to write a book? Tell me about it. My book's been brewing for about two years And what I realized is being in the field of female sexual health for the past five years, and with all the women, we say it's a V-SPA in New York City, which I started as you know with my amazing partner, Cindy Barshop, and we have tried desperately

to establish a location where women can feel safe to talk about any issues they're having with their female parts. And basically what I realize is that nobody knows that there's help out here for the normal conditions that occur as we go through life. And so many women, you out there, think you're the only one that's experiencing loss of urine with the clotharous sneeze or vaginal burning pain when you have intercourse. These are not normal situation

they can be treated and there's no reason to suffer in silence so noticing that women just had no foundation of knowledge of these issues and how to treat them i wrote the book hopefully eight is the for all you women out there suffering that's so great what a great service care women out there suffering. That's so great. What a great service, Carolyn, Dr. Kaelin, because it's so true.

It is such a taboo. And as you said, I mean, you've been practicing OBGYN for many years, and then in the sexual health, 30 years. 30 years. Right, 30 years. Okay, 30 years. Let's just say that's a lot of years. And I would say that just in the recent years, like with V-Spot, Maddie Spout, which by the

way, if you are in New York, it is pretty amazing. It's basically a spa for your vagina and I had a good time. I never wanted to leave in the last 30 years now What are you seeing now that's exciting you about? You know solutions for women like what do you think is happening now? Like what is this book in a cover that maybe you didn't know about years ago or that women didn't know Most they still don't know there are are painless, non-invasive, extremely effective, simple facts for teachers to address all of our female issues, like vaginal dryness, vaginal pain, vaginal looseness, women after babies say they lose friction, and it's not all about our partners

It's about us enjoying the moment. This is empowering us as women to be active and willing participants in intimacy in our lives and I must say and one of my patients we were talking, and I would love to hear your opinion. Yeah. On how a healthy sexual relationship has a trickle-down effect and a ripple effect on everything else in our lives. Absolutely. If you agree, having a healthy relationship. Absolutely. If you're in a healthy, healthy, sexual relationship, especially, then everything else in your life is going to be feel a lot better.

You're going to be a better parent. You're going to be better at work. You're going to be a better sister, a better brother. You're going to be a better community member. But when there's a problem in your sexual relationship in your marriage, it's going to wreak havoc everywhere. And you're never going to put your finger on it,

maybe, because no one talks about sex, except for me and you and a few other people You know, but but really like so so yes, absolutely. It's really important for women But it's been so you know taboo until now So I guess what we're saying is that it's not normal But the most normal thing is that is that we all have something we have pain or we have questions or we have something going on Then we just think well, okay sex has been painful since I was a kid or whenever and I'm just Can't have to live this way or well, I sneeze and pee that's just gonna be my lot in life

I had a child so that's part of being a mom and And we just don't have to live this way What are some of the common things you can't even tell me today if you've seen a few people what are some things that you know You've helped women with I know we've talked. Yeah, some of the new technology stuff that's happening. Well, there's so many different technologies. And one of our favorites is what we call the tigal throne. It's the Encella chair.

You sit women, sit on it fully closed. And what it does is it forces your pelvic floor muscles to strengthen. And by sitting on it for 28 minutes, you're going to contract all those muscles like a kegilecter side up to 11,000 times and regrow all that musculature down there that we can go over time from having babies and just standing upright and not doing colitis, not doing yoga quite right and not doing your kegilectercises. So this will force you to do so and regrow that whole pelvic floor musculature into a nice, strong support. wrong support and the fun of it is that it's and simple procedure painless quick right to week for three weeks and women no longer with their

pan yeah over seventy five percent of women will no longer need to you across their legs right and they're sitting there with the clothes on like you sit with the clothes on and take an 11,000 caggles. That's pretty amazing to me. Now, what about pain? Can we just talk about pain? Because even on the line right now, we have some people calling it about vaginismus and people have just had pain during sex.

Maybe they've always had it or now they have it after childbirth or is it going through paramedics? Where do we start with that? Okay. Well, that's an excellent question and we see this all day. There are many ways and vaginism is an extremely complicated situation because what it really is for the most part is an involuntary spasm of the musculature and it's completely unintentional, but it often will begin with the fear of feeling pain. So women tighten up and it's like a locked door.

And when you know what, you know, Carolyn, hold on one second. We actually, Carolyn, we have Holly on, Holly actually has a question about her vaginismus. She believes it is, and I want to put her on so you could help her. So let's have her on. Hey, Holly, thanks for calling.

Hi, Holly. Hey, Holly, we're going to put you on with Dr. Carolyn D'Alecia. She just started talking about it. That is wonderful. Okay, good. So, Vag, did you hear what she was saying here about the tightening? I did and that's exactly it. Okay. And what caused the fine was, my husband, I've been married for seven years. He is going to be 59 tomorrow. I'm 51 years after we got married. I just felt like something wasn't quite right down there. So I went to the doctor, long story short, I had cancer. It was right at the opening of my vagina, they went in and removed it and everything

has been fine. But of course the doctor said, you know, six weeks until you can have air course. And let me tell you, we had the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. And I was just so over the moon about that. So anyway, I go in, you know, six weeks go by, and we try it, and it's horribly painful. And I'm like, okay, well, we need to just wait a little bit longer. So we waited, and then I'm going back to the doctor two more times,

and she said, basically, there is no physical reason why you can't have intercourse. And I'm like, I don't know what to do with that. So Dr. Carolyn, would you like to think about that? Thank you, Holly. Well, is the pain in the tissue or is it with trying to penetrate? I hate to be that graphic, but I, you know, the bit helps.

Yeah, it's trying to penetrate, and it's just, you know, I went to physical therapy, I went to this, I went to that, I've read books, and it's nothing for me. It's just like you said, a door slams, it's gonna take door slams. Oh, that's right. That's a big fact and the muscles are probably really, really rock hard completely unintentionally. So had anybody give you Botox injections in that area? I have not. OK, that's the answer.

Wow. So basically, yeah, and it can work miraculously and typically once and you're done. Now, one of the things I will say is that most physicians will also encourage you to get dilators that are graduated in size. You can buy the kits online on any, we just put in vaginal dilators and the kits come up and they come out with a protocol like how many times to try it a week and when to

graduate in size. But I am telling you with the Botox injection, what the dilators do is they also give you the confidence of oh my gosh, this doesn't hurt anymore. Wow. And then I'm gonna go to the next one. This doesn't hurt. This one looks like you babe, it doesn't hurt. Let's go to it. So there you go. So that is an absolutely remarkable way of addressing the issue. There's a brand new product on the market called New Talk that is new to the string of medications like Botox and Disport and the events that both the kick-in sooner. So I'm kind of excited.

I haven't had anybody to try it on yet. But... Howlies in California. But you've got to come out here. Yeah. That's amazing to me. Well, thank you, Holly, do you have any more questions? I think that was good.

I guess I can relate, actually, for you. It's kind of how it's really sad how our relationship has been because we haven't had sex in five years. Okay. Because of all this, it's gone on. So in the meantime, my husband is having problems because he has to urinate all the time. So they put him on just medication. No.

No. Can't ejectively. Oh, shit. So then medication. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, drive he has nothing you know and he feels horrible about it okay and i'm like i don't yeah you know i don't know what to do and they will laugh with each other we have such a great relationship that it's like we can't have an affair because we can't do anything that's good i'm glad you guys can laugh couples that you know laugh together stay together but dr. killin what do you think about this now so could the emcella help with bladder? I mean, I don't think you need to stick a pillow, right?

Yeah. You've got it. So when it's amazing. It's amazing. The losing urine or having to go so frequently. What we know is that the emcella is also totally fda cleared for men. So my rule is if you have a pelvis,

you should have the best seat in the house, which is the amcella. So yeah, the gentleman can sit on it as well, and it regains their pelvic floor musculature, improving not only their ability to hold their urine and sleep through the night, but also to be able to increase blood flow to their penis, which might help his erectile function.

Now, when it comes, yeah, and if he can safely replace the testosterone, that would even be better. So, safe ways to do that. I'm sure his urologist could help him and guide him there. Yeah, all right, Holly. This was great. Thank you for calling.

We appreciate it. That was thank you. Dr. Duluthsha, I'm forgot. I mean, I didn't forget, but this is true. We can talk about now the BTL. I'm selling. It can now be used for metmen can use it as well. For incontinence.

Yeah, pretty crazy. And then also the bioidentical hormones, perhaps, cell it can now be used for men can use it as well for incontinence. Right. Yeah, pretty crazy. And then also the bioidentical hormones, perhaps, if he goes to see his doctor about that. So tell me other things about your book. Let's talk about some things in your book that we look at learn from this, ultimate intimacy, the revolutionary science of homosexual health. We don't know anything. Help us.

Well, you know, there's a whole chapter on Justin Adamay. And I know you always describe. I know. And you know what? The book is mainly written for women. However, I know that a lot of men are going to say, oh, my goodness, I want to read this. It's going to help me be a better lover. And I could then help my friend and help my wife. So I

think that that again is a very important point is that it always takes two to tango. Yes it does. And yeah, now when it comes to other topics in the book, we're going to talk about the intravaginal energy based procedures that are available, painless lasers like the family lift and the radio frequency devices that are gone from lasting 40 minutes down to eight so that the progression and the advancements in this field is almost like cell phones. You know we pay, we buy a brand new device and within six months there is a better phone on the market. There's a better procedure for female sexual health and internationally the whole field is exploding. So another area we phone on the market. There's a better procedure for female sexual health.

And internationally, the whole field is exploding. So another area we explore is regenerative medicine. And those are areas of how to stimulate stem cells to create new tissue without actually having to derive our own stem cells so there's plate-lipped rich clouds mother's use of excess on these are all brand new exploding areas and uh... way too difficult to go into detail here tonight but are all in the book okay now we're going to give a shout out to our sponsors thank you everyone for listening and supporting them supporting the show will be right back When I first heard about like detail of cell and some of these where I first met you I was like a come on a chair like this is impossible like you know

I care about kegels I have my iPhone app kegel camp, but I know we need to do it But these things actually do do they do work, and it's amazing to me. Now, it's just for women, is it mostly women of a certain age, or what about women who painful sex in their 20s, let's say, or women who, or never been that lubricated? Like does any of these help with the lubrication element of it, and pain at an age?

Absolutely. Absolutely. So with men of cause, and sometimes just from childbirth and scarring, we can have either vaginal dryness or discomfort. And what these machines can do is grow new collagen and new alastin. The lasers work on the superficial skin inside the vagina and it's kind of like doing a fractal on the face but then the vagina is actually painless. It's causing little tiny holes from the laser and the body's response to that is to heal those areas with new blood vessels and new collagen that springs and a left.

This is the back to the walls as well as natural lubrication. Estrogen itself is what maintains our blood vessel in the vascular wall. And that is how we naturally lubricate. But when those vessels are gone because of the lack of estrogen, it becomes like the Sahara desertezza. Right. And we need to re-boost and re-ignite those blood vessels. And the laser does that. So does the radio frequency at even a deeper level.

And it's going to grow collagen alastin and blood vessels. Once again, increasing blood flow, increasing lubrication, a natural sense of arousal and all of a sudden, you forget what you knew almost as we get older, like oh, and when you get it back and it's functioning the way it's showed you, like oh my God, she's doing something right. I remember this. Exactly.

And then you actually, oh, yeah wetness and desire You know and it can also yeah, I'm Chris Pescher. Yeah, well, there's a woman called it early I think it was Kristen right she called in and she was 45 and she was like, you know I and she's gonna be listening. Hi Kristen and she said oh, you know my my sister told me I was asexual because I Haven't wanted to be in a relationship in the last year or so or a few years. And she said, oh, and I said, no, I just think you have 45 years old, and we just keep sex top of mind. You know, make sure you, you know, again, it's not just going to hate us over the head

more 45. We don't have the same kind of hormones. What would you, you know, I said, like, you know, make sure, but I said that you'd be talking and calling in, but for someone like that, we just, we forget. So these sounds like what we start doing, we start to kind of rejuvenate, you know, these blood cells, and we remember that, oh yeah, we're paying attention to it. That's a thing about even the act of sitting on the chair,

for example, it's like you're paying attention to your pelvic, like you remember it, you start to feel sensations again, and that can increase your desire, and obviously increases pleasure, all of this overall. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So the other studies that we're doing even on the amcella is how the increased blood flow and the strength of the muscles, which then increase the intensity of an orgasm, because orgasms do involve muscular contraction, how these machines can actually improve sexual function. And satisfaction and arousal. And as well, the best procedure when it comes to sensation and enjoyment effect is the O-shot developed by Dr. Charles Lunnels and Fair Hope Alabama call out to him. Wonderful trademarks procedure that when done by a certified physician is painless increases blood flow and and nerve for the clitoris ends in the G spot area, which will improve the ability to

maybe achieve a vaginal orgasm. We know that's the perfect storm that I call us. That's amazing. So they can cut, yeah, they can, the perfect storm, right, when that happens. So you know what, Carolyn, I remember, and people can find this a lot of the V spot, many spots too in New York, but this is something I think we first are talking about this. Jamie, just like when Dr. Kylm was on about the anatomy, like, like, what about just the thumb, right? If the women who are more likely to orgasm are women through intercourse, are women whose clitoris is closer to their vaginal opening?

That correct, that correct. So a shorter distance between the clitoris and the vaginal opening, and that can vary up to three inches, believe it or not. And when it's quite that far, it's a lot less likely to be engaged in indirect touch when you're having penetration. But when it's really close within a centimeter

or half an inch to an inch, it's much more likely. And what we do also understand, and what most women don't realize, is that our clitoris does not just that little pink piece that we can see. There's a horseshoe of tissue involved in our clitoris that goes from that tip and bends down like a horseshoe down both sides of the vagina. So with the stretch of penetration that clitoris is being kind of pulled upon and increases our ability to

be allowed. Yeah, the clitoral legs. So true. Okay, we have another, yeah, exactly the legs. You will just think it's a little love button and it's not. Okay, we got another call. I know. Love you.

Okay, we always agree. Okay, we've got another call. Come on, we've got David 15 in New Jersey. Hey David, you're on with Emily and Dr. Carolyn Delusia. Hi Emily. Hi Dr. Delusia, how are you? Good. Oh, good.

Nice to meet you Dave. Hey, it's my pleasure. So listen, you may have just answered my question, but basically what I wanted to know is that if there were only one thing you could impart to men about female anatomy or sexuality, what would it be? I think that would be it. The clitoris will be right, David. That's more of the clitoris than what you can see.

And that actually, stimulation of the G spot and the clitoris simultaneously is involving what we are calling the orgasmic system and when you do include simultaneous simulation of the G spot and the clitoris that's a very good move. Yeah. That sounds like it would take to lend that coordination. Well, not at all. It doesn't have to. It's only about, you know, the G spots only about an inch and a half inside to two inches

inside the vaginal opening. And that's correct. Yeah. So you could easily massage them at the same time where you could use a toy. I would also say the big thing to understand female anatomy, well, I guess it was an anatomy and sexuality would be that, you know, that it's more than just, you know, having a penis that

it is about understanding how women get a route, how they get turned on and like, actually talking to your partner and saying, like, what, what turns you on? What, what's, you know, what's arousing to you? Let's figure out, I'd love to please you. I want to be your best lover. Let's figure out you. What makes you feel good? Cause it's a little bit easier for men to get pleased. But I think the more interest you take in your female partners about, you know,

their pleasure, the better. And that does involve the clitoris for many, for most. And there are other rodging zones. We have our neck, the neck, the nipples. We forget about the nipple orgasm. Anyway, I can't help but stick that in there once well. Yes, the neck, it's true. The neck is sorely skipped over, so many times.

Yeah. Yeah. What part of the neck? Honestly, the neck of the neck, all of the neck. Then the, I think anywhere, the neck. Yeah, but there are so many nerve endings, the back of the neck, nape of the neck, all of the neck. Then the, I think anywhere, you'll see the nape. Yeah, but there are so many nerve endings the back of the neck, the nape of the neck, that the forearm can feel good.

Like honestly, if you slow things down, if you get a massage candle or something and you put a blindfold on your partner and you pour that warm massage oil on them and you start to slowly massage their body and move that oil around like that. I'm telling you, you're going to find out more David, David, you're going to find more of Roger's zones and you know what to do with.

Slow everything down. Not it. Well, I appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks, David. Thanks for going. I love that question.

Hi, Dr. C. It is a good question. Definitely a good question. Yeah. Okay. So your book is Ultimate Intimacy, the. C. It is a good question. Definitely a great question. Okay, so your book is ultimate intimacy, the revolutionary science of female sexual health. We're going to put this into the show notes so we can check it out.

And is there anything else? Like anything else that we missed here? Tell me everything. Well, the only other thing is that along with the book, we're going to be offering a way for women to really figure out for themselves how to help their personal system and their personal issues. So if they're interested in learning more about how to add to what they learn from the

book and to add along with the book, they can just drop us a note at viva gyanatyahoo.com and we will send you all the information on how to get that because that's the V spot. That kind of thing. The V spot of the New York. Okay. So for any woman of all ages, if they have any questions about what's going on with their sexual functioning, their sexual health, you can help them.

Yes, indeed. Okay. Thank you, Dr. Carolyn Delusia. We're going to put all of this in the show notes everyone at sex family dot com. Congratulations on your book and I can't wait to see you soon next time I'm in New York. We're gonna hang out. I can't wait. Thank you.

We'll get together. Bye bye. Bye. Thank you. Of course we'll be fighting you. Bye. Thank you so much, Dr. Karen Delusia, and thank you to all of my amazing listeners. I love hearing from you.

And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, Alisa, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithamlate.com.