Sex With Emily - Gwyneth Paltrow on Sexual Healing, Breaking Taboos, and Her Show

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

In this throwback episode, Gwyneth Paltrow joins Dr. Emily to discuss her groundbreaking series "Sex, Love & Goop" and why she's passionate about normalizing conversations around sexual wellness. From her journey as a Gen X woman navigating shame around female pleasure to creating beautifully designed vibrators that challenge stigma, Gwyneth opens up about the evolution of her own sexuality and the importance of sexual wellness as a pillar of overall health. We explore how sexual intimacy serves as a microcosm for all our relationships, why accountability and communication are essential for fulfilling partnerships, and how Gwyneth's current marriage has allowed her to experience a new level of sexual freedom in her late forties. The conversation delves into the performative nature of sexuality many women experience, the challenge of asking for what we want, and how non-judgmental partners can create space for authentic sexual expression. Gwyneth also shares insights about perimenopause and menopause, advocating for rebranding this life stage as an exciting gateway rather than an ending. She discusses her wellness journey, including how gut health has impacted her hormone balance, and reveals her hopes that her show will inspire couples to have vulnerable conversations that deepen their intimate connections. Key Topics Covered: Breaking cultural shame around female sexual pleasure The importance of sexual wellness in overall health Creating sex-positive products and conversations Navigating sexuality through different life stages Communication and vulnerability in intimate relationships Menopause as a gateway to deeper sexuality The connection between gut health and hormones This episode emphasizes that sexual wellness deserves the same attention as other aspects of health, and that honest conversations about pleasure and intimacy can transform relationships at any age. Show Notes: 00:00:00 - Netflix series and sexual healing exploration 07:00:00 - Gen X sexuality and cultural shame 14:00:00 - Creating beautiful, stigma-free sex products 21:00:00 - Evolution of personal sexuality and partnerships 28:00:00 - Menopause rebranding and sexual evolution 35:00:00 - Wellness, gut health, and hormone balance 42:00:00 - Quick-fire questions and final thoughts Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ  (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let’s get social:  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily   Let’s text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Pleasure is your birthright. And when it comes to best-in-class vibes, it's always Magic Wand. And lately, I've been obsessed with the Magic Wand Mini. It's compact, travel-friendly, and delivers that same signature deep vibration Magic Wand is known for, just in a smaller, sleeker package. Perfect for tossing in your weekender bag, sneaking into a carry-on, or stashing in your nightstand when you want power without the bulk.

Don't let the size fool you. This thing goes. Of course, the whole Magic Wand lineup is worth exploring. The Rechargeable is a cordless powerhouse with multiple patterns and intensity levels. The Plus gives you the classic plug-in vibes with a modern twist. And if you really want to keep things discreet, say hello to the Magic Wand Micro, tiny, cute,

surprisingly mighty, perfect addition to your summer travel toiletries bag. So whether you're planning your sexy summer getaway or just wanna level up your bedroom game, there's a magic wand to match your vibe. And hey, word on the street is something very exciting is dropping soon. So stay tuned to be the first to see what's making a splash

this summer for magic wand. Wanna meet your match? Head to sexwithemily.com slash magic wand and find your favorite. Our sexuality or our lives with our intimate partner, that slice of our life is such a microcosm for everything else. And if we're disconnected from ourselves,

like it's going to come out readily in a sexual dynamic. Whereas in real life, you can sort of white knuckle through something or like convince yourself otherwise. But if you're with someone, like it's gonna come up. And I thought, gosh, you know, sexual wellness is a really important pillar of overall wellness and nobody talks about this.

I mean, what you do, but you know. Yeah. In today's Throwback episode, about this. I mean, you do, but you know. In today's Throwback episode, we're debunking the myths that Hollywood, pop culture, and celebrity couples have fed us for years and taking a hard look at the reality behind all those glossy headlines. We'll explore what culture is conscious in coupling and what it really means for modern love, the obsession with self-care and why it's not a one-size-fits-all solution for relationships. Sex and love in movies. Why it doesn't always match the reality of real connection.

Perfect relationships. Are they even possible or is it just this Hollywood fantasy? And sexual expectations. Why we need to let go of the myths that prevent us from real intimacy. This episode is about getting to the truth behind love and sex and what actually makes relationships work in the real world. So whether you're single and a relationship or just trying to figure out where the truth lies, let's get into it.

Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. It's nice to meet you. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm good.

It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. When I think about you, I think of you as like this translator and you're like digging through all these like unconventional healing modalities and trying to find what works and recommending it to everybody. And one of the ways you do that is through your new show on Netflix, Sex, Love and Goop, which I like binged in the last two days. And this time you took on sexual healing.

Like, tell me about that decision to go into that realm and really show it off. So our first Netflix series, we had a show, it was more of an anthology and it was, we had one episode called The Pleasure is Ours. It was about female sexual pleasure, essentially. And the reason that I wanted to do that was because being a Gen X girl and growing up in the culture the way that I did, I felt like there was so much shame that was still permeating culture around women having pleasure and that pleasure for women was somehow unacceptable or threatening or made people draw bad conclusions about a woman. And I thought the way that female pleasure is portrayed in the culture is so fake. And you see women who are so far away from their own essence and what they really want

and what really feels good and it's all performative. Or like even growing up, like we were supposed to be like the cool girl who was like cool with whatever. We never said, hey, that actually doesn't feel good or right? Like we were never given that permission. We never gave ourselves that permission. And then we got such a reaction to that first show that I thought, wow, this is like a real lightning rod.

Like people, this means that people are really unexplored here in this way because it's triggering in both positive reactions and negative reactions. And I thought I would love to dig more deeply into this topic and broaden it out a little bit because our sexuality or our lives with our intimate partner, that slice of our life is such a microcosm for everything else. And if we're disconnected from ourselves, like it's gonna come out readily in a sexual dynamic. Whereas in real life, you can sort of white-knuckle through something or like convince yourself

otherwise, but you know, if you're with someone like it's gonna come up and I thought gosh, you know sexual wellness is a really important pillar of overall wellness and nobody talks about this. I mean you do, but you know. Yeah, what I love that you did through the sexual healing and sexual bodywork is that it's the kind of thing where yeah, I would talk about it because you know, I've often said, look between your legs, take a look. They'll go, yeah, I'll do that like when I get home, like after I binge, you know, whatever Netflix eats dinner.

But to actually see the women sitting there like legs up, like here's, and to actually watch their faces. And I think it's got such a great impact on people watching to think, oh, I've actually never done that and now I can see what that does. It was powerful. Have you ever practiced any of it? Or did you ever have any other, any sexological bodywork practices on yourself?

I have not, but I would actually really like to try it. I think when I watched the show, I thought, oh my gosh, this particular person who's having hands on sexological bodywork, I thought, oh my gosh, she's really unlocking something. You're just going to get a big reaction from this. Are you ready for it? Oh yeah, we're always ready for a big reaction. That's what is par for the course. I think that it's going to be powerful.

What I also love is that it was able to shift the relationship dynamic between couples, that they were able to come in the couples couples I think it was Rama and what was it a philis, phisitas. So what I thought was so interesting there's this wife right and she felt that he in their dynamic which was no longer hot that he was like the third child right and she just wanted to take charge and you saw that moment on screen where they shifted that energy it was cool. There's so many resonant moments like that. I think there are, for example, a lot of mothers out there who feel exhausted, overburdened.

And I have a friend who said we were talking about this show and she was like, sometimes I feel like sex is just another thing on my to-do list that I have to get done. And so I was like, but we're alive this one time. We really should be, first of all, if that's the case, you should be honest with yourself and not do it. Or figure out a way that you can really get back to that side of yourself if you want

to. What are the ways that we as women can get back into that, like the softer kind of mammal side of our bodies as a, you know, and it's where we're really in touch with who we are and, we're framing sex more as self care these days. We should, pleasure should be self care, but there's so much like guilt around it. And like, I don't deserve it.

I shouldn't masturbate. But we do have to prioritize it. So I'm wondering from you, like how do you just nourish your own wellbeing? Your own, what do you do? It's funny, like the ways that I nourish my wellbeing, I'm very sensual. Like I love to take a bath.

I love beautiful bath oils and salts. Like I love massage. And as far as like the sexual aspect, I'm like have this interesting thing where I'm basically a newlywed in my late 40s. So I have a very different experience of my sexuality right now because I've been given this amazing new lease on life in that way, which has been incredible and I'm really grateful for that. Yeah.

This morning I just have to show that this is a beautiful toy that came in the mail for me. And I love this. It's a warming vibe. Yep. Warming B-spot vibrator. So there was a time when we time, we probably still do, we get 20 pounds of toys sent to my office.

When I started out, it was just me testing them all. I'm like, my vagina can't be the arbiter of what is a good vibrator. And then my whole team got to try out toys. What about you? Like, what was the process for going about creating? How do you know what to create? Like, what do you like?

Yeah. How did it happen? We are very close to our customer at Goop and very close to each other as women in an office. And so it was really fascinating to have these series of conversations. And the reason that I wanted to make a vibrator in the first place, and we have, that's our second one,

but we have the first one, it's like a double-sided wand. It looks like an ice cream cone. I like the idea that we could make a sex toy and really challenge this idea that sex toys are somehow dirty or should be hidden or something to be ashamed about. So we made this like beautiful vibrator. It really, it looks like a little sculpture, like it looks like a pop art ice cream cone really. And the idea was it's a fantastic vibrator and it has 64 different settings and all this kind of great stuff. But you could leave it on your counter, you know, you could, it wasn't like, you know, sex shop kind of how you picture

like a vibrator. Like one of my best friends said, thank you so much for making a vibrator that isn't, that doesn't look like a penis with veins in it and stuff like that. That's like embarrassing to leave on your counter, like your kid box and something like that. And so it was really just about breaking a paradigm and trying to, with imagery, introduce this idea into the culture that like,

it's not embarrassing to masturbate. It's not embarrassing to have a vibrator. And it's funny because there are girls who work here that are so like vibrator fanatics. And so they're like my main focus group. You know, they want full approval over what it's going to be and how it's going to work. It's important. And everyone's different to what they want. So you have a whole testing team there and I love all the products. So what if your kids walk in and saw vibrator? Like how are you talking to them about sex now? You know, my generation, I had zero sex ed. Like I didn't know what masturbation was and orgasm until I was like 25.

Did you have any of that sex ed or? I didn't have any sex ed, not at all. So it's very different now. Like my kids had a really, really comprehensive sex ed in sixth grade. There's a fantastic pediatrician mom at our school and she gave them like a hardcore sex ed talk, which was awesome. Like she told them everything. And no, I think that it's maybe a universal truth that kids don't want to talk about sex

with their moms or their dads. I still don't, I adore my mom. I still don't really want to talk about sex with my mom, you know, like, and I can tell you like my son freaks out if I have a bra strap showing. So I can tell you like he does not want me to talk about. Okay. So what I try to do is just like engage with them if they want to talk about anything. I'm there. They know obviously that their mom is like a bit of an iconoclast. And my son is he was really sweet. A few months ago he was like he said it used to kind of embarrass

me that he sold vibrators and vagina things and like kids would say stuff at school. But he's like, now I get it. Like you're a feminist and you're helping women. And it was really sweet. So I think it probably does make him a little uncomfortable on some level, but he also gets it big picture. I mean, he's a pretty, he's an old soul for a 15 year old boy.

I love to hear that. I think it is changing right now. And so what has surprised you right now by like your sexuality at this point in life? Yeah, well, you know, it's been, it's so interesting because it's gone through so many ebbs and flows and it's been dependent as well on my partners and what our chemistry has been like

or relationship, like how non-judgmental is it? How full of trust is it? I think for me anyway, and a lot of my women friends, it's been dependent on the man, which is kind of what you touched on earlier. Not so much always from a place of like, it's about his pleasure only, but just in terms of like, I never asked for anything. Like I never said, hey, how about tonight if you,

I would love it if you did that. Like I never would say anything like that. I never, and I still frankly have a hard time with asking for what I want. Luckily my husband, he plays me like a violin at this point. But it's been really interesting over the years to reflect back on my sexuality and know and understand like, oh, I, wow, I was really far away from myself then, or I was in a relationship where I didn't feel like I could be wholly myself sexually. And the accountability that

you have to have, right? Because it's also like if I didn't say anything, then how did I, how could I expect to have a really fulfilling sexual relationship and I was so conditioned never to ask for and you know, you just weren't conditioned, right? So and and as I said, it's still hard for me. And as I said, it's still hard for me, but I think what's been amazing for me is really my husband is such a non-judgmental person and he's so curious and like nothing is weird to him, whether it's sexual or anything, like he's just so non-judgmental and so I think when you have the safety of that, like that you can really be free to be who you are then like there's this incredible blooming that happens

and I so I feel lucky that I'm in that chapter right now, you know, and I really credit my partner because I'm not, I'm still not like all the way strong in that way, you know? No, it's hard. It's, yeah, I hear what you're saying, but that's really, you're right. A lot of it is being with a partner that you can, that accepts you as you are, where you're at and is willing to go on the journey with you. Cause it is all about journey and exploration and yeah, and this is what I want for a lot of younger women now, but I still think that that they're still in that performative. I've got to do what I'm seeing in porn and all that.

But I do think there is a confidence that comes and finding those partners that are healthy and are cool with with, yeah, just exploring and packing, which is what I also liked about your show was that you really saw these couples that they really went on these deep journeys together where they were exploring and opening up and they were open and you can see that so much about sex isn't just about compatibility like sexual compatibility it's more like we have to work if there's tweaks like there's things that you got to figure out with your partner so did this for you was there anything that you it opened up for you or that you wanted to

explore or maybe share with your friends or your daughter or your son? Totally. I think for me, again, like I just touched on this before, but what I learned the most from it was the importance of accountability and the importance of like not expecting someone to read your mind or for things to be magically perfect or symbiotic in a sexual relationship and like the importance of being who you are and speaking from that incredibly true place. And I have so many friends who cannot do that or they think it'll rock the boat of their long marriage or it will

turn their boyfriend off. And I think when we sublimate ourselves like that, I honestly believe we put ourselves in a position to create those fractures like to create, to create like those fractures where we're, we can't, we're not fully integrated because we're not, if you're not fully integrated in your sexuality, how can you be, how else is that showing up in your life and where else is that showing up? Yeah. I think it's, I think that's true. You're so right. It's such a lifelong challenge too, because people think, well, I'm working on wellness

everywhere in my life. I exercise and I eat well and my spiritual life is in check. But then sex has always sort of been this bastard child of the, of this, of the wellness industry. They're like, oh, but sex we can't talk about. But when you bring it under that umbrella, you realize that if you're not sexually well, it's going to impact all these other areas of your life.

And so how, how do you think this could possibly, I think it will shift the discourse, the public discourse around women and aging and menopause and all those things, how are you looking to get into that conversation right now? I really hope so. That's the other thing. We always like to go into those areas

where it's still hidden or covert or embarrassing or shameful to talk about. I mean, perimenopause is very much one of those areas. Like I think this is something we've been talking about a lot recently because I really think that, and I say this all the time, but I think menopause needs to be totally rebranded. Yes. It's like this incredible gateway to this exceptionally deep, wise chapter of your life where your sexuality becomes something else again, I want to know I want to mentor and we

need women to like take our hand and help us cross over and have it be something that's that we're looking forward to as opposed to this is the end of our lives. And I've heard women say best sex of their lives after menopause. And I had never heard that before. This is just recently because I've been asking people. And then I have one woman who I'm really close to that's just like, it's not the same. It's not the same. And I wish I could talk to somebody about it to get a roadmap.

And I was like, you should. You know, this is what I mean about people can be accountable, but also we need rubrics to follow like we need people to talk to we need women to share what their experience has been whether it's with their sexual journey their hormonal journey post babies or post menopause and So my hope is that with this show and then the ensuing conversations like the one you and I are having right now, is that it just gives people permission to have those conversations in their own lives with their own friends, with their own partners, gay, straight, you know, married in a couple for however many years, like whatever the permutation

is that people are like, oh, maybe we should have this conversation. I've never asked you this question before, you know? Yeah, no, you're so right. I love what you're saying about, we need someone to pull us along, but yet half the population goes through this, paramedicopause, menopause,

it could last 12 years for some. And it's weird that we don't, that there is anybody, because we know our parents went through it. And so then women have to all like, we're told that our life is over. And I just, our sexual life is over. I don't think this is what's happening. And I don't think it is, you know?

I know it's not. But give me hope. Is there any like tips on your own journey that you wanna share or anything that's worked for you or friends around you, like hormones or? Yeah, I mean, honestly, the best thing that I've done for my hormones through this shifting time in the last few years is this year I've gotten really I've taken like a wellness year because in in COVID I was really went crazy with the junk food, alcohol, like that, you know, chocolate

cake. And I really have taken this year to go deep into gut health. And it's been amazing for my hormone balance. And I've been tracking it with blood labs and stuff and tracking my progesterone, estrogen, all of those things. And as I've let my gut heal and find rebalance, my hormones have been rebalancing. So that's been super interesting. Like this idea, you know, if you're eating whole foods, clean foods, not a lot of processed foods or none, you know, and this year I've really limited like sugar, dairy or I've totally eliminated, really limited

alcohol, all grains, kind of in an effort to do this God health experiment and it's been incredible. Like my hormones have really, they've really evened out. It's wild. I mean, I just had a labs, I was talking to my gynecologist the other day and I had my labs done and she was like, Oh my God, your hormones, like your levels are amazing. You've like levels of somebody much younger and I hadn't before I started. Okay.

So good help. Yeah. Good help. I like herbs and adaptogens and stuff for hormone support too. We have this amazing supplement packet called Madam Ovary at Goop. It's so good. It's very, that's what I take.

It's really like for hot flashes and stuff. It just supports mood stuff and hormonal fluctuations as well. Love it. That works. So Madam Ovary, I love the naming DTF. How did this, did you feel DTF after everyone took it on your brain, like testing this kind of supplement? Oh, yeah. Did you take it a few minutes before? Well, you're supposed to take it daily because it works cumulatively. Right. But I also think it does help even if you just take it, you know, like an hour or so before. Like it's got this fenugreek in it that's clinically shown to boost women's libido.

It has great adaptogens for mood and stress and it's really good. I really love it. Okay, good. I'm going to ask you the five questions. We have quickie questions that we ask all of our guests. They're super quick. Great. Don't overthink. What is your biggest turn on?

My husband's lips. Biggest turn off. Interrupting. Like when people interrupt when they're talking or interrupt other people when they're talking. What makes good sex? Relaxation, openness, and freedom. Something you tell your younger self about sex and

relationships. Know yourself first and listen to yourself first. What's the number one thing you wish everyone knew about sex? That as long as it's consensual, anything's possible. Don't shame yourself for what you like or what turns you on. I love it. Thank you so much. One more question about your show. What do you think is going to be, you know,

the result of the world seeing your show? What's your hopes for this, for Sex, Love & Give? I don't know. I just hope that people... I hope that people take away that there are tools to get closer to your partner, to get closer sexually to your partner, to have those harder conversations. Like I think we, these amazing couples in the show

go by example what it looks like to be vulnerable and brave in the name of, you know, connection and your intimate relationship. And I really hope that people watch it and start to have conversations that bring them closer to each other. I think they will. I think you succeeded at that.

Thanks. Thank you for being here. Thank you so much. That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show, please like, subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. And hey, share this with a friend or a partner.

It might just spark something. It usually does. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at SexWithEmily.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you question about sex, dating, relationships, any of it, leave a message at sexwithemily.com slash ask. And hey, was it good for you?

Email me at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I would love to hear what you think.