Sex With Emily - Have A Happy & Horny New Year

Episode Date: December 30, 2015

With January 1st just around the corner, it’s time to start lining up all your sex and dating resolutions for the new year — How can you be the best lover you can be in 2016? Whether you’re single or in a relationship, today’s podcast provides tips to help you handpick your goals for a year of better sex and love, and even help you accomplish them.From making dating your second job to creating and conquering your sexual bucket list, Emily goes over her sexiest resolution ideas for couples and singles alike to help you turn up the heat, both in your love life and in the bedroom, for 2016. Plus, she and Anderson answer your emails on bad relationship patterns, multiple orgasm roadblocks and casual dating with multiple partners. Today’s show is all about starting anew in your sex and dating life. From things you’d love to leave behind (like blackout sex) to things you’re looking forward to (like multiple orgasms) this show covers all your new year’s bases. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy New Year's lovers! Thanks for listening to Sacks with Emily! The New Year is right on the corner and you know what time it is. It's time to start thinking about 2016. How can you be the best lover and data in the upcoming year? So today, we'll be talking about Sacks, Dating, and Relationship Resolutions that everyone should be making and share tips on how to make them count. Plus, we'll be answering your emails. It's going to be a great show.

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can help your partner give you a great blowjob or a handjob. It is the handjob helper. Check it out. Every woman has a dildo, every man should have one of these. Go to sexwithmwe.com, click on the flashlight banner, use code Emily, and get a free bottle of the award-winning flashlib. Thanks for listening. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey, Abelie, you got a boyfriend? Because my man, he here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute.

Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Abelie. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com.

We've a new website. You're going to love it. Check it out. Sign up for a mailing list. Don't miss our amazing emails, the blogs we post every day, videos, and these podcasts. So thanks everyone for supporting the show. It's been a wonderful 10th year. What's a new website?

It's just a new brand new website. You guys see it? It's the same website. It's been a wonderful 10th year. What's the new website? It's just a new brand new website. You gotta see it. It's the same website. It's so much more, yeah, yeah, sex only.com for 10 years. But it's just gonna be, you know, we've got thousands of podcasts and blogs and videos and it's just gonna be easier to navigate and it looks great. You're gonna love it. And also, everyone's been asking me about the live podcast, the fun, the, I mean, about the live show podcast and that's gonna be coming out the fifth of January I know you can't wait. It's exciting. I know I think it's great

No, just cuz we know we wanted to put together for you all because that was a great night We already talked about it. I'm gonna be a show so we don't forget into it But I have to have some good shows that have come out this week coming out next week that you're you're all gonna love Had the swingers on Holly and Mike That was great great show. What? No ponytail. No ponytail.

No, they're the ones who play by radio. They're the ones that I went to this swinger party. Right. Anything weird done? Is it like braided pubes or anything? They're the most normal couple that I actually want to hang out with them before. I am friends with them. Really smart.

Yeah, it was fun. So it's been a really good show. Okay, so having new years coming up. Thank you you it's a couple days away and I don't know I might be an old man and stay inside and just drink inside where it's cheap and safe see that makes sense I'm like I see my favorite comedian who's playing at the Orphium bill burrs oh he's amazing tickets oh no but I'm sure is it hard to get tickets probably he's doing two shows I'd like to do the later show. He's funny. He's amazing.

See, that's the thing about New Year's. I think you have to learn this. There's a lot of pressure. Sort of a right of passage. You gotta go through and have a lot of bad New Year's and a lot of pressure and the hype and you're like, oh my God, it's crazy. It's like driving around.

I'm drunk and I lost my friends and party sock and they spent way too much money. I used to go to Vegas every year. Oh God, it sounds like awful. Make up with randoms. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, that's fun. And the middle of the street. Yeah. But I think that you realize eventually that New Year's hopefully, maybe you never do, but it is sort of an amateur and right thing. And when you're with your, I just think

it's important to be with people you like. Yeah. He's good friends. Even if you stay home, stay with friends, have a party, go to one place that you like, and I'm do that. But don't put so much pressure on yourself that it has to be like this perfect evening because it can be a cluster. Yeah, get like a little blow, pick a location, don't try and do too many locations. I have a couple bottles. I'll just pick one.

Chapagnet on hand. Exactly. Do it respectfully. Right. I don't even put my pressure. I don't even, I don't even pressure myself for that. When I was single, man, it was brutal. You'd be like, what, I gotta do something.

It's gotta be great. It's gotta be a fantastic memorable night. I gotta hook up. I gotta do this. I gotta do that. I got checklist and I would just freak myself out. Yeah, now I'm like, yeah. But even if you're, I guess if you're in a relationship or single, you always think like it's gotta be a whole thing.

And I get if you're saying, yeah, you're right. If you're single, you want to be fun, go out with your friends. But then, okay, well San Francisco was different, but when I was, it was like this before Uber, but you could never get a cap,'d be stranded be freezing. Oh, yeah We like 8.5 the fair times higher the fair. Um, I don't know I'm doing it though I'm a it's maybe I'll go with you to the community and can I go with you here?

I'll be the third wheeled be awesome. I just want to say you don't have plans yet How does sex with Emily not have plans yet? Well, I'm gonna go out with my guy that I'm dating Ross All right, well I thought you were gonna be a third wheel. What's going on now? You have other plans. Right. You're standing me up. What they will go with you. That was the quickest standup ever. No, maybe we'll go with it. We don't have a plan, but he's looking to music. What should we do? Everyone thinks that I've all the way from. He's from Danville, the Bay Area. What in the world is Danville? It's like a suburb outside of it. All right. So you guys are both like from outside. Yeah. Exactly. No, I mean, he's lived here for a few years

and he lived here. he went to school here. But I, you know, then he came and moved back. We met looking for apartments. We were all moving from San Francisco. So we had that in common. I'm not sure yet, but I'm not putting pressure on myself. And the holidays, I'm gonna be here too, which I kinda like.

Because what? You know, she found like a New York theme place and just like bringing the New York near and then just be done with it and go home early. So true. It's so funny, where my friends with kids was telling me she was, oh my god, it's so fun. We did the best thing ever. I'm like, which is like, well, we like have all of our kids over like, you know, because they're best friends with our neighbor and we kids. And then we

like pretend at like five o'clock. That's like nine. And we just drink like crazy. And then we just go home pass out like eight and the kids go to bed and that's like that's an adjustment, a late game adjustment that you make when you're a parent. When you're a parent, right exactly. My parents would just leave me and come home like three days later, but that's cool. Oh, then you'd have a party at your house. No, I never did.

I was a really good kid. And my parents were divorced, leave me alone. So it's good. People that have parties at their house, they're desperate. They're always the desperate kids that would have house parties. Or their parents just don't care.

And they really wanted to have friends so they'd let people come into their parents' house when their parents were out of time. There was always the sad people. You think? No, it was just the fucked up kids who drank a lot and partied a lot of things. No, those are the ones that showed up at the house.

Oh. I don't know. The people that are actually having the party are at least for my growing up. And then people will be stealing BCRs and stuff. It was just sad. Yeah, the BCRs, very sad. You know it's so funny, so your friend,

my carano, our friend. Mikey. I love Mike. Mike Carano is amazing. How can we find him if they want to check out how amazing is it? He listened to him on the after disaster weekly with myself. That is, I love Mike. Mike Kron is amazing. How can we find him if they want to check out how amazing is he? He listened to him on the after disaster weekly with myself. That is Anderson's killer podcast.

I told you, I want to start tweeting out your podcast. I texted you last night. Yeah, you texted me last night, late, late night, and you said to send me your podcast. Yeah, I made no sense. Send me your podcast, so I want to tweet it out, which is really sweet, but I don't like, do you want me to put it on a disc?

No, just leave me. Yeah, me, because I was like, God, my listeners love you. You do good, but you make great podcast. Oh, thanks. People should know, and sometimes I like, I was like, God, my listeners love you. You, you do good, but you make great podcasts. And people should know. And sometimes I think that podcasts are becoming, speaking of podcasts, it's like, let me just slip this in real quick.

But remember my car on. I'll take a, go ahead. Last week on the film vault, I don't know if you know, but I did Star Wars. I saw Star Wars before it came out. So I got to review it. Yeah.

Because I said, post you gross post. And Tarantino's new one, Haseley, so I see all these movies, but I I'm really careful I don't spoil anything people there's spoilers but you know I just give you an overall vibe and it's good the star wars fans are going to be happy and many of them have already seen it at this point but does not disappoint and it's way better than

all of those horrific prequels that came out really recalls were terrible most sex and any of it's all the same people right from servers like from early Star Wars who are a lot of a lot of recurring character. Okay. You talk about it on the after disaster The whole vault and the after Zaster we talk about my cat brought in a freaking parents He told me that she killed someone's pet your cat is dangerous enough But anyway, you're body Mike speaking of these you know, VCRs, would you say VHS? Whatever he said is that he gave me he was so sweet because from the live show he brought me a memory came to love line. I brought you to see who is a CD player. I have a MacBook

Air. There is no seat. There's an adoption like a Mac. I'm sure that those in your office is like it didn't work. No, no, no, no, no, no, give it to me. I'll do. There is no CD, but what I'm saying is I felt bad because you know, Mike, he was so sweet. It took me four days to figure out to get a CD player. Oh, you figured it out. I did and they were great And they look good. Okay. Yeah, I just want to do. I look okay. How do I look? Oh my god? So good. I'll show you after there on my laptop. Okay, so anyway, we don't want to talk about it I was good to see you wasted the other night. I was not wasted. The best part is I texted you last night You're like it was fun that you wasted your girl. I was I wasn wasn't even. I saw you in the beginning when you were with Hannah did. I saw Emily and I were at the same concert a few weeks ago.

Acoustic Christmas. Acoustic Christmas. And yeah, I had like three beers at me at that point. I was beginning the day. You were, are you sure? Yeah. Okay, because I was like, wow, like Anderson's a good time. I was hammered that later.

Yeah. I did not know. I killed, that's why I said we should party together. I thought you were drinking too, right? I have like two drinks. Emily, like, inhales a little vodka and she's drunk. Oh my God, I do remember that love line we had, there's something called the open forum

where people call in for half hour about things. One topic, like, have you ever cheated your partner or had it work out? So we did blackout sex, remember? And I was like, I don't black out. I don't know. And Drew's like, Drew's don't black out. Like we're kidding.

Drew's don't black out. Well, typically this is a very, this is not true. This is a a Stereotype or not huge drink. We're like there. I know many Jewish aqua hollocks, but I'm not man I had blackouts like I had two dirty martinis and one was very strong and I had sex and No, no, I wasn't that drunk that night. This was like a week ago I wouldn't you go see the. This was like a week ago. I went to go see the guy Ross who plays in a band. What's he playing, bass?

Guitar. Not bad. Not bad. He's been playing his whole life. He's amazing. He was in band before he became a doctor. But I was by myself. I mean, a bunch of people are there, but I just went and I,

the drink was so strong and we went home. And I, in the morning, I was like, did we have stuff? And I saw the condo. I was like, oh yeah. And it was a little bit blackout. And I just want to tell you that it happened to me. I feel like it was a little late, but it happened. And I'm like, I'm not a drinker. I don't like it. I didn't like being hungover. I can't drink. I can't do anything. I can see that. You just think of it as a hassle. I'm like, I'm so, but I'm working out a lot. So, you know, hey, I don't know. I just want to tell you that I, I should have got that.

I'm not forgetting. Katie Perry came on love line a number of years ago and she, she was telling me that she hates drinking because it makes her feel nervous the next day I'm like suck it up and be a little Thirds every now because I want to get up early workout and like it Hey, I like the idea that you woke up and you suck a condom and you had no recollection And you didn't immediately start throwing your shoes at your boyfriend. Why why the fuck is there a condom? You just assume that I knew and then they don't come back to me. I remember it. I'm like was it good But it just sounds very young. It was funny because that does I shouldn't drink

but Anyway, but I don't drink that often Why don't we have a party I'm like because you don't I know you don't sell it. Yeah, but I want to I'm a good time When I don't black out one more thing I gotta say where we get into some really juicy new year stuff for you guys Because this year 2016 is gonna rock your world after I'm done with you. Sexual health expo, January 16th and 17th, it's in LA at the Universal Hilton Hotel.

Universal City, where is that Anderson? It's right by Universal City Walk, Universal Studios, right off the one on one, just north of Hollywood. Right, so it's like around this area, and here's the thing. Sexual health. It's a good Hilton too. I've been talking about it for year now because actually our fourth expo, the first one was in LA last January. And then it got so popular. We did it in three other cities. And people are just like,

love it because there's nothing else like it. For two days, the top sex educators will teach you for an hour each. They have like 15 different sessions in two days about everything you want to know in a very short and amount of time. The best educators plus all the cool products I talk about, new ones, you can touch them, feel them, ride them, there's a sybee in there, you can ride. Can you blow? You could blow someone.

It's going to be great. So anyway, I want to meet you all and I'm going to do a live show there with Anderson. You don't know this yet. Are you in town? It's not familiar with this idea. I meant to ask you. What is it? It's the 16th and 17th, just one of those days for like three hours.

Of January. Two hours, yeah. Of Jan, I'll check. It's Terry Sunday. Okay, Manus is checking too. Oh, I would finally get a fight. You guys are so great pictures of us. But anyway, I'm giving away tickets.

For two people, they're each good for a couple or your friend anything feedback it's sex with Elmi.com anything anyone bring it on Pink Stanley I said that each ticket is good for two people and email me why you want to go? Why should you get this free ticket? Just might get one. That's what I say about that. I've got a little bit of sex in the news. Sweet. I think this is a funny one. Yeah, I think it's interesting. I read it. I like it. I like it. Because I ever since your explanation marks a couple weeks ago. That's given us a lot of material. It has Every time I'm texting anyone now like my my thumb is going back and forth like do I do it? Do I do it? I don't know what to do now. It's a bit of a

People who use periods people who use punctuation like periods are assholes and I realized that and upon quickly scrolling my recent messages from Anderson that he always ends in periods Yes, however, he's on Nassau. Yeah, empirically you are baby others, but not to me. Mm-hmm. Okay, so we love that sex of the new story Okay, so start up to offer $10,000 to couples who don't get divorced A startup companies offering couples a chance to be rewarded for their commitment, offering free loans towards a dream-witing for any couples willing to stay together for the rest of their lives. Well, isn't that the idea for everybody? Swan love, a startup-based in Seattle,

believes everlasting marriage should be rewarded, offering couples a loan of 10,000 towards the wedding of their dreams. The loan is free for couples who remain married, but any couples in the divorce have to pay back the full loan with interest. According to the company's website, the winning applicants are chosen

using an algorithm based on assessment of online data, like a predictor's perhaps that these couples are gonna be a success. They said that the data found while selecting applicants helps determine the rate of interest applied to the loan. So if they seem like they're kind of iffy, you get like a higher loan. Sounds racist.

It comes to the stats. We have all the right odds. So we'll be okay. In addition to 10,000, they provide free marriage counseling. They're going to launch a mid-Fagory but they're accepting applications. But here's my issue. I think that marriages are more likely

to last than a startup. Let's put it that way. It's a freaking startup. What are the chance of startups lasting? So it says, we more likely to last than a startup. Let's put it that way. It's a freaking startup. What are the chances of startups lasting? So it says, we want you to last forever. I don't know the startups going around. I'll take the money. What if we want you to start up in last forever, Swan?

Yeah, exactly Swan. How about you, you want money? I'll give you a five thousandth of a loan if you don't defult on all of your loans to people. Most businesses fail in the first three to five years. Especially when they're called swan. Yeah, love, LUV. Oh, I know. I know.

I know. Come on. So like, really swan, if you're around, I'll just get married to get the 10,000, okay? I do like the concept. I like the concept. I do too. Giving 10,000 dollars and then as soon as one of the people,

one of the partners dies, you actually get to keep the money. Like I made it all the way to the end. She's dead. I wonder what happens. If like, well, he died, when we just actually get to keep the money. I made it all the way to the end. She's dead. I wonder what happens. Well, he died when we just do. I got the money. I guess it's just as you're still loving. I wonder if there's stipulations.

Yeah, I guess so. No, I like that they're like, hey, let's do a feel good startup so we can decrease the divorce rate. I mean, they do talk about those studies of, you know, arrange marriages and stuff. People are more likely to stay together. That's weird. I mean, that's a little different. You know why? You know why that is, I think?

Because that's the hype in the build up. Well, anyone who's willing to go along with a arranged marriage is probably somebody who's gonna put up with a lot. You know what I mean? Well, I don't know, but it's kind of like you don't have as many options. You're kind of like, this is why I do,

even if it's your religion, but you kind of make it work. Maybe that was about different kind of apples and or just things, but what I'm saying is anything that, because that seems to have good stats, which is not that I want to be an arranged marriage, but I just like their whole mission is like, I'm gonna is anything that is because that seems to have good stats, which is not that I want to be in a range marriage But I just like their whole mission is like I'm gonna do a startup. I could do an app or I could help people say together and be happy So I don't need a bathroom. Maybe you need an arranged thing there You know, I got approached to be in a reality show. Do you know that reality show about arranged marriages? No We neither but I'm not actually

What I'm there do reality program you know know what you know I don't watch TV. I do watch Survivor. Um, I, I was approached and they like I went to the process casting and they were like going to be in this and I was like yeah I'd be down. But I don't what happened. I think I did my other reality show. Oh, no, this is years ago. Oh, no, it's like no, Miss Advise came out into that my, I did a reality show in

Bravel. You combined it iTunes if you are dying to see me on television or you're like a hippie-dippy woman on that show kind of I mean I'm Stanford I'm I'm different than I am now people think I'm a hippie I get my friends like you're such a hippie but I don't think I'm happy here everything goes but when I was in whatever doesn't matter but 2011 maybe okay and I think it's gonna send you up with somebody yeah like you have like one day and then you get married I mean thehuh. I mean, the whole thing is crazy. I just went through, because like, I, it's like any job in a radio day.

I'm like, I'll try this. I wasn't looking to be on a radio. Just kept coming to me. I'm glad that it felt true. Thank you, Honda. So here I am, single, no, I'm in a relationship. I keep telling myself single. You're with a dude who plays guitar and he's a doctor.

He's hot. Come on. I mean, you slip that in like, and I, I realize there's a humble brag and you're doing it. I'm not bragging. Like, real like, coy and off the cuff. But yeah, you know, he's been playing guitar since before. He was a doctor.

No, no, just funny. He was a doctor. He was a doctor. He was a lot of things before you. You know what I mean? Well, no, it's funny because I was, I'm still the least bragging person. But when you said, oh, guitar, like it's cute. It's his hobby.

But he's been playing like since he was 16 and he was in a band for 10 years and then, you know, successful. Before he was a doctor. Before he was a doctor. Okay. Enough about that. I talk about about way too much right now. It's the most of our, she ever mentioned someone's name.

What's that? That I'm dating on the show. Ross, Ross, Ross, Ross. Right now when we break off, it's gonna be weird. Oh, sad. You're black, I'm listening. He doesn't listen.

I, I, we're not breaking up. Okay, so, you sure he doesn't listen? Okay, you heard my, Yeah, Emily says, I mean, she, she has a history of, of dating guys who say they never listen, but she always finds out they do so if that I don't think he is maybe he is not talking about it. Um, I love you Ross

Wow, I really hope Is that there's the me like he came to one of my things once, when I was speaking and teaching, and you've met him a few times. When we were speaking, I was speaking something, and he's like, it's just weird, because there's like the sex, the M.A.U. and then there's the U. I'm like, but it's no different. Like if I'm teaching, like what, he was like a hustle workshop. I'm like, but, or if he listens to me on the show, like one time we got a fight about something, and I'm like, oh, we broke up.

And he was like, well, you didn't talk about that. I'm like, I'm like, you guys listen. But this is a while ago. I'm like, what am I gonna do? I'm really set. I mean, no, I don't talk about that. Barely, this is the most I've ever talked about anything.

So, no. What? Tell him something, do you have a message for him? Talk to him. I hope to meet you one day. I guess I have a couple of times, but I think I was talking. I feel listening, just no,

but I think that's what he meant was like, he listens, he's like, you didn't talk about this, Emily. You didn't talk about that. I'm like, I'm doing a show to educate you a lot, but I haven't even gotten to the most of it yet. Yeah. If you're listening, we caught you. We now know that you listen. All right.

Boston. Okay. I love you. I love you, listen, send it, make some happy. Okay. I don't want everyone to be happy when you're listening. So here's the other news. If you're unhappy, turn this off.

Sexual objectification. Objective-ying. Uh-huh. Objective-ying. If you're only happy, turn this off. Sexual objectification, objectifying. By committed partner can be beneficial to a woman. So when I think of sexually objectifying a woman, I always think about, oh, you know, someone just saying, I just want to have her sex or I love her body or she's hot and I used to be sort of a thing that, you know, God, I feel so objectified. It's terrible thing, but they're saying the study came out that sexual object,

I don't know why I can't say it, objectification by a fully committed partner, such as a long-term boyfriend or husband, can be beneficial to women. And she might like it. More research on this, female sexual object, luckily it's objectification, but then they go on to call it valuation,

which I can actually say throughout the study. Because that's a lazy. Tens to focus on the negative consequences. That said, a team of researchers from Florida State and Northwestern University recently sought to investigate any possible benefits to sexual objectification. We believed it was important to investigate the implications of it by women's long-term relationship partners. And this is so interesting. What they found was it asked men to report the extent to which they sexually valued their wives

and asked women to report how committed to the relationship they believed their husbands to be, as well as both parties, overall, marital satisfaction. The results showed the wives who felt their husbands were more committed and had higher levels of had higher levels of marital satisfaction were more likely to see their husbands sexual evaluation of them as a positive force in the marriage.

So women can benefit from it in the context of a relationship. So if you're just dating a guy or like, oh, you just think something's wrong and only wants my body, but if you're in a committed place, it feels really good to be sexually valued by your partner. In fact, we don't want to be treated like sex objects by anybody, but if we can decide who's gonna treat me like a sex object, I want my man to be like, you're so fucking hot. Every time he sees me, you walk in the door,

I want you, this amazing like that to me, is like diamonds for other women, maybe. It's very easy to get it muddled and confused. I think you guys don't wear lipstick and mascara and like push up bras or skimp ya. So that we look at you and think, oh wow, her personality is fucking awesome. No, I mean, I want you to think that, but tell us.

You guys all want to be objective, I do it to an extent. With the person I love, love, or like, I want to be- But that's how you're gonna get the person in the door. Right, but that, right. And if it's someone you don't like, what I'm saying is, even when you're with somebody,

this is my message to men. Even if you're with somebody and you're committed and you love her and you're like, she knows, I think I hot, she knows, I think she's hot. She knows that I value her, she knows that I think, and this might sound really superficial. She knows I think she's prettier. She probably doesn't feel pretty.

She needs to hear it. Not in someone in our comfort, I'm not saying all the way, but many women just, we put a lot of, I can't even tell you how much. Just being a woman, you don't have to do any of this stuff we do. The nails, the hair, the waxing. I'm pretty bad. I used to be a vane. So you're very hot.

I just had to sit there. I still like getting salons and stuff. I was vane. I was got a chick brain for a minute there. Right. But we all want to hear it. And so if you're with your partner, you're like, I can't even totally leave it. You know, I'm really attracted to her.

You know, when you're in bed, you're like, God, your body just really turns me on. When you're, when you're feeling that and you're thinking it, just say, just say it. Yeah. If you're feeling it, might as well say it, unless you're dating or married to a very stuck up bitch, and then maybe knock her off her pedestal. Okay. So men, as you know, men, as, yeah, men is has a theory that, and we've been arguing about this for debating this for years. He's like, no, because I always talk about compliment. I don't want men 10 times a day and people get really big. I agree.

I agree. But if you do it twice, I'm happy. So I'm just saying 10, and if you do it twice, it's fine. But just because- You look nice tonight, by the way. Thank you. I like your blazer. I just say, I've believed you.

Look how gullible I am. This is a new blazer. Can I tell you, look at my face. I was like, that's so sweet. I'm really tired. I even slapped your so sweet Anderson. You look really town. You look good though. Thanks. And so the point is, oh, he was like, I was like, oh my god, tell me more. So he said, he was like, no, you know, you can't tell bitches that they look hot because then they'll just think they got your upper and their finger like that was his thing. And I'm like, if you think that, then you're

an idiot, but then you're that, then you're an idiot. But then you're not confident. You're not going to get a relationship. So, okay. Now we're going to move on to a very important part of the show. And this is our sex and dating resolutions. Okay. For the new year.

For the new year. It's a new year. And here's the thing. The new year is loaded, right? It's time for a fluctuation. We look back on the year. We think about what did we do. What didn't we do?

We try to set goals for the new year. And then this whole resolution thing, do you set new years resolutions? Hey, there's so many different places you can do in your life too. Like why not do it in your birthday? I know. That makes more sense. That makes more sense. But you know what makes sense with the years of the solution, especially with vices and

whatnot, is that it's right after the holidays, there's not much going on in the month of January or February. You've already got all your booze in behind you with New Year's and Christmas and the pa- like in-laws and all that stuff. So it's kind of a- a convenient time to try and- Are you gonna try to quit smoking on this year? In February. Because I can't do it with the- January's two-to-toff. It's two-toff. Yeah. I've got a quit smoking and drinking and uh everything else. I think you quit last February. Yeah probably. Yeah. Awesome. Well good luck to that.

But that's the thing is that there's so much pressure, you know, and I feel like it's also like, God, you know, if you ever made one and stuck with it, you know, and if you make one and you stick with it, it's almost worse because, and you don't, because you don't stick with it, you're like, you might even be like, I'm not ever doing it again. That would be depressed, yeah. But I want to give you some doable, yeah, you do. And I always do, I used to do it all the time, like, effort. Like, I just try to live a good life and make changes over here.

You put your pressure on yourself. You can't do that. You're like, you're so reasonable. We've got to smoke 18 cigarettes on December 31st or whatever. I've eaten 16. Well that would be good. Like I only smoked 18 today. It's not bad.

It's doing better. But I want to give you some doable resolutions that will enhance your sex life and love life whether you're single or in a relationship. So do me a favor. I want you to take a look at where you're at now, maybe you're single and you want to date more. You want to meet more variety of people. Maybe you want to date less and just focus in a one person. Maybe you're in a relationship and it's got a little stale or maybe it's really heating it up and you hope it stays away. Wherever

you're at right now, take a look at it. And think about some kind of resolution you can make that will improve this part of your life that is so important. Because I know you think it's important because if you didn't, you wouldn't be listening to the show. So here's a few things you can do. And these are easy, so doable, so fun,

and email me, okay, here's our thing. After you make this resolution, I want you to email me. Feedback at sexwithalmy.com. I won't even share it unless you want me to. That is a commitment to me that you've made it. And then I'm going to follow up with you. How's that? I'm going to follow up with you. Is this your own resolution? No, that's telling them I'm going to. So you made that commitment to me and I've got my staff. They're going to read it. We're going to mark it and then three months I'm following up with you.

But if you're single, okay, I've got tips for singles. Make, and you wanna find someone, and you wanna date. Make it your second job, okay? Tell everybody you know that you're single, put it out to the universe, put it out to your various groups of friends. You know, because people are, wherever they live, worst-town date in.

And, everyone says it's the worst town. I can't find anybody. And I just think wherever you go, there you are. There's single people everywhere. And people love talking about how bad it is. And I always say, well, look at you. Like, what are you doing to find someone? You become a denominator there.

You are the common denominator. Believe me, you can date on, people say dating online sucks because everyone's bigger, better deal. At least you've got options People do meet online so so make a commitment to date online make a goal that you're gonna go on one day to week Doodied date even if you don't you're like I don't know just make yourself go out that person right because it's like take every job interview Like see how you can learn on the job

Talk to one, you know, whatever make go on one match a week or get fixed up Talk to one, you know, whatever, make going one match a week or get fixed up. Again, these take a new class do that this could be part of your resolutions. I've wanted to sew or I'm gonna go back to the gym commit to one class something that you could do that's different You're doing to get yo-yo hanging out with your friends yoga class. Dude yoga. Yeah, the girls are doing the downward dog And it's like you get a bunch of tons of girls in there all like in touch with their bodies It's true and yoga is good for. Like yoga is actually very healing for men. Can I add on one? Please.

And then you don't want to sound like you're desperate though. Like if you're telling everybody that you're single on a regular basis. I don't mean like, I got friends like that in my life and they're pathetic. So don't like me. Well, you know what I mean? I'm talking about your best buddies

that you respect and you like their friends. Not randos at work, not your like, it's easier for girls. No, but even look, okay, I'm sure you have a few close friends. You must. Cousins, living your area, whoever. It's not talking to me, she's talking to me.

No, I'm talking to you guys. And if you next time with them, you're like, you know what? They might know your single because everyone knows your single probably, but say, you know what? Do you know anyone's single? Do you know anyone?

Because think about it, I'd love to be fixed up. That to me is not desperate. It's like, and they might not at that moment, but guess what? Next week, they might be somewhere and they meet someone. They're like, oh my god, my buddy, my buddy Joe is awesome. Do you want to go out there? And that's how it happens. It's not just going to fall down your lap, down the chimney, like Santa, okay? So also masturbate. This is a great time to masturbate.

If you are single, especially if you're a woman, I know if you're a guy you probably are, but if you're a woman and you wanna keep those engines going, you wanna feel primed for sex. If you're just like, eh, I'm not gonna do it till I'm with someone, you know, it's like exercise. The more you exercise, the more you want to. When you masturbate, you're just like getting

like your rodic pleasure, you're getting all turned on. You can learn your body more, get a new toy. Also working out, I'm telling you, the gym will improve your confidence. So if you've also been feeling like lower libido, not in the mood, when you work out, you'll feel healthier and therefore you'll be more ready and likely to date.

But that goes back to like news resolutions, the gym, I'm sorry. But once again, reasonable, reasonable goals, and like the gym might not be, these are so reasonable. Might not be affordable or might not be an option every day because of time, a 20 to 30 minute walk is the same count the stops exactly. Okay, so those are for singles. That

is easy. So I want you guys to pick one of those and do that and commit to me relationships. Okay. If you're in a relationship, here's a great thing to do. Make a resolution with your significant other. Make a coupled resolution. Think about milestones. Look, coupled. A coupled. A coupled resolution.

No, if you're in a relationship, think about it. Like where do you want to be in two months, six months, 12 months. You know, frame it as a way, actually, since all of you email me, most of a lot of my emails are from listeners who are in a relationship who aren't quite sure how to approach a certain subject with their partner, whether it's sex or dating or you know Needs being met or not being met. This is such a good way to do it because you could say you know be so fun sweetie That's to a resolution for our relationship and it's much easier way to discuss what you look for What you're looking forward to in the new year than to talk about like all the socks and that socks

So make this a fun discussion as it always should be when you're talking about like mixing up sex or relationships or make it light. And from what I hear, like I said, most of you, there is talking to your partner, isn't so easy, so it's a great exercise to get what you want, sexually and romantically, try one thing in the bedroom, here's the thing. You know what, honey, let's do a bucket list.

You could do this at New Year's Eve, you know? Let's write down five things we wanna try. You can go to a sex toy store. You can buy my book, Hot Sex. Anderson loves it. He has a nightstand. It has 200 things in it. It's in my oven. It's in his oven.

Watch porn together. Say, let's wrap up our favorite, let's watch our favorite sex scenes in a movie. Listen to the film bald. Didn't you just do something on the best sex scenes? Yeah, we did best nude scenes, and I just originally had nothing but dick. I know. You know what? And like, look, plan weekends

away like make a resolution that you're going to spend more quality time together. Get it, you know, and again, it's this now for people who have so much money, you could get an Airbnb in your neighborhood. I don't care. Get away from the kids for a night. You know, turn off your phone when you're together. Just say something like one at a week, phones off. So pick one of those, that will be the, what you need to reignite your relationship and to just make a resolution. So when you look back on it in three months, you're like, oh, there is some progress. Okay. Who's doing that? Email me. Anderson, which one of those are you going to do?

I'm, I'm going to master a bit more. Okay. At yoga class. Speaking of which, I definitely have to say that in 2015, my body had a lot to learn. I didn't even think that it was possible, but the Sibian is a thing that I'm so grateful for. It will 100% push the needle in your sex life and your sexual satisfaction, whether you're single or in a relationship. The six months I've had it, I've experienced things, like I said, I did not know.

Possible. If you told me in June that I'd be having these kinds of orgasms, when also, while during intercourse and on the Sibian, I would not have believed you. Because the Sibian is a full on sexual experience, because it has a mountain, it's the only one in the planet that has the unique, mountable design that actually simulates the feeling of cowgirl woman atop, where most women are likely to orgasm. That's why he invented it 30 years ago.

And the cool thing is you can customize it. It's your own experience. And if you've trouble reaching orgasm during an, of course, you can learn on the CBN how to do it with your partner. You can be there holding you, touching you, revving you, and then you transfer that to your partner. Repeated rides in the CBN can train your body to orgasm. It's a muscle that you haven't used yet with your partner. Perhaps if you can't orgasm easily during the course

or you just want to experience different things. Check it out and here's a testimonial from the web CBN website, having been with my wife before and after using the CBN, you can't even compare the two. We had a healthy sex life, such a healthy sex life, and now it's gone to incredible heights. It made sex more enjoyable now because of the way her body responds, Rick and Shannon. So to hear what other happy customers have to say, go to Sibian.com, that's s-y-b-a-n dot com, and as a special treat, you get $75 off your first order with code Emily75. Check it out. Okay.

You know what, I'm. Tell me, baby. The other day, I said, I corrected someone, which I rarely correct people, because I think it's snobby and gosh. But somebody was saying the juju, and I said, this is jeju. Jeju, oh, the meme, yeah. Like, oh my God, I'm like the sex expert guy now,

because sex was Emily. Who brought it up? Some did. He just Oh, the meme. Yeah, my god. I'm like the sex expert guy now because of sex with Emily. Who brought it up? Some dude. He just said the J.J. He's going to get one for his wife. And he's like, I get the J.J. and actually knows on the film. Oh. He was on the film.

Was it on there? It was some dude who was Brian my co-host. I want to get, okay. So J.J. means to play in French. And he's like, somebody got a J.J. And I corrected him. And then I realized I'm like, oh no, I'm like the weird dude that knows the whole

of the story. Dude, I've been talking about it. That's hilarious. I love the J.J.s. I love the Mimi, but they have a new line called ooh by J.J. Oh, that's gonna be. And oh, that's when I gave my chrono.

Is he gonna be mad about this? But I did give one to his girlfriend. He doesn't have a girlfriend. Oh, well, his friend. Okay. Because he's like, did pictures and they're really nice. I'm like, do you know anyone who wants sex toys and he gave it to his friend?

She pays people in sex toys. It's really awkward at the toll booths. I do, it is awkward. But anyway, it's Ubuye J.J. It's so cool because it has the motor that I love in the J.J. I wasn't even talking about it. But as three pop tops or two pop tops,

you could change it. It could be insurmable. It can be a cock ring. Just check it out. All right. Okay, ready? Here we go. So everyone, emails,

thanks for emailing me feedback at saxwithalmy.com. Time to where you're from, how old you are, how you listen to the show. And- Just do it. Do it, it's easy. Okay, keeping. Your sense to mail or few,

because sometimes we have a hard time. You know what, it's true. One of these emails was tricky. So yeah, it's helpful. You don't have to use your real name, but if your name is like Sam. Or Bob. No, Bob doesn't work.

Alex. Yeah, you could say I'm a 27 year old female or male. So put M or F or NA. Yeah, God, we're making it so complicated. Give your social security number. No, don't do that. I don't like numbers. Dick picks just kidding.

Hey, Emily. She gave me a winch just now, so I don't think she's getting voice. My name's Manny. I'm 27 and I really appreciate you in your show. I've been listening for years. I used to listen to Love Line 2 as a teen and it really helped me understand what to expect in dating and relationships. So I have an amazing girlfriend I've been with for two years. I say with because she lives in the UK and I live in SoCal. It really sucks but we're making it work.

She's going to grad school in New York in August and I'm planning to move there around the same time. I'm really excited about this opportunity in my life. I love this woman, and feel that New York can give me the fresh start I've been longing for. My issue is that I have a tendency to create a more of an interdependent, interdependent type of relationship. I put their needs you for mine, but I end up presenting the person I'm with because I feel like I'm losing my autonomy and that I'm always doing the 80-20 role. Doing the 80 of the 80-20 role. I really see a future with this one, M, and I don't want to mess it up. What do you suggest? Thanks for all you do. Shout out to Anderson. That guy is a G. No, man. Take care. Okay, Manny, a few things. The 80-20 rule, I always hear that in business,

like you're supposed to spend 80% of your time on your clients who are bringing whatever, whatever, you have the business that's yours, you're all powerful. Yeah, so he's saying, what he's saying is he's spending more time on her than he is on himself. So this is a classic case of codependency. Okay, so for those who don't know, because it isn't very confusing term to people, because it's meant, you know, there is some debate about it, but really the bottom line, codependence is the pain that a lot of us experience in adulthood, and it comes out in relationships. But the reason why we codependence happens, it comes from being wounded in childhood, which

leads to a high probability of relationship problems and or addictive disorders later in life. And the reason why it's confusing is because like 40 years ago when they started talking about it, it was really just surrounding alcoholics and people were dating alcoholics. So they just thought, oh, I'm Codependent because I'm helping them drink.

But really, it's the general population experiences. And the thing is, it says dysfunctional family. Well, they do tie it back to people who have, because I'm thinking whose family wasn't a little bit dysfunctional, but you can't tie it to like an ill parent or an emotionally abusive parent or a parent with an addiction.

So if you are a codependent, and your relationship, this is something that happens, I'm gonna get to man in a second, your relationships can become really one sided because you're constantly trying to meet your partner's needs, your people pleaser. But then, when they don't give back to you, you get frustrated, passive-aggressive,

your needs aren't met, and it's a very vicious cycle and you get resentful. And it can become destructive, and it is a pattern unfortunately that is learned in childhood and passed down sometimes from your parents. is a pattern, unfortunately, that is learned in childhood and passed down, sometimes when you're parents. So, man, here's the deal. I have to give you just great kudos

when I was reading your emails, I was like, wow, man, he like, that's really mature. You're 27 years old, very insightful. And that's the first step in recognizing and fixing the problem, that you are admitting that you have an issue here. And the only way to tackle this is to get your button to therapy because this is not the

kind of thing you're going to handle on your own. Because this is the kind of therapy that you go into and you actually do need to go and talk about your childhood, how did these patterns develop? You know, you go back, you do, you think about with your parents and you let go of all that and you learn new behaviors of how you be in a healthy relationship. And it'll help with this relationship too, but it's also gonna be good for you and any other relationship you've grown down the road.

But maybe you should tell them right now that it's definitely gonna help her and it's gonna be good for her in the relationship and that it'll be more likely to go. Exactly. Because these go dependent. You know what I mean? Yeah, we'll be great for her.

It'll be great for like probably boss, his sister, everyone. It'll be good for everyone that you care about around you. Right, and in the meantime, I would say getting in front of the problem. So just be honest and open with your girlfriend because this is this is who you are. This is the issue. She might not quite get it if you sometimes have been displaying some of these behaviors. Let her know you're dealing with and that you don't want to repeat patterns in the past and ask her to be patient with you on your path to self discovery, Manny. I love you.

And thank you for your million. Listen for being such a fan of the show and for liking Anderson. She loves you, Manny. I love you and thank you for your money. And listen, for being such a fan of the show. And for liking Anderson. She loves you, Manny. I love people who love Anderson. No, but Manny, thanks, Manny, man. I appreciate you, Manny, man. Appreciate your sport. Okay, another one, guess what it's about.

Probably sex or maybe relationship? Organisms. Oh, that's kinda like sex, right? Kinda. I said, oh, orgotha. Oh, oh, oh. What's your new favorite toy? Sabian? Wasn't it the ooh? the ooh the ooh by j. J.

You got to say it like that. They're really cool actually you could check them out at um And if you're curious I think just go to good vibes.com or click on the banner on my site and Look who buy you like you also get this like a code. I have a discount code. It's like Emily What the minute the discount code is ooh, with nine o's. Exactly. Hey, Emily, I've been listening to your podcasts for a few months and I'm loving them. I was cracking up on the airplane,

we're listening and at a hard time explaining to my boyfriend why, without possibly offending people around us. He couldn't tell her, she couldn't tell her boyfriend why she was laughing. I wonder what it was. I know, I always wanted to be like, where are you laughing?

I'm 23 from Denver, Colorado, and listen to my podcast app on my iPhone. My question is about having multiple O's in a row or within close proximity to each other. I've tried to have this happen alone, but find myself just having one orgasm that leaves me too sensitive to continue to use a vibrator or that my mind kind of sees it as a checkmark

and wants to continue my day right after, continue off my day. Even though I set out with wanting to achieve multiple orgasms, is this something everyone is able to experience or should go about in different fashion? Thanks for being so awesome and fun to listen to, Andrea. Thank you, Andrea, for the awesome question, because yes, this is completely doable. You'll never hear me say that everything is possible for every person. But I can't tell you this. There's very specific process that you could try in achieving O's and I

could tell you that for a lot of people, I've taught this to, they have achieved them. So don't give up yet, especially if you already are or a gas make, it's kind of like, I don't know, I just thought of this analogy. When I used to run marathons, I was like, oh my god, I could have a run marathon and I was running maybe four miles and they were like, if you can run four miles, you can run a marathon. And I was like, oh my god, can I ever run a marathon? And I was running maybe four miles. And they were like, if you can run four miles, you can run a marathon. And I was like, time makes no sense. No, it still makes no sense.

Well, it's true. Because if you couldn't get out there and do it, you just add another mile, you add a mile, a training process. It means you're well on your way. You're probably the hardest part of starting and getting to the four mile point. I get it.

And I kind of feel that way about multiple lows. So here's the thing. You can do this. This is great also if you are your goal. This should be your resolution. Okay, so here's the steps. Practice, patience. So you said you try to do it and then you're like,

check, check, I'm done. Patience, just like anytime we're trying to learn something new, it really comes into this process as well. It'll be your ticket, multiple lows, it'll be coming out of you you, maybe you'll five, I don't know. And it might not happen the first time we try it. So hence the patience, but remember,

it's about the journey, not the destination, especially when it comes to sex. So the more that you're focusing on the orgasm, you're like, tonight, I'm doing three, it won't happen. So just if you can, just be like, you know what? I'm gonna have a fun, masturbatory episode tonight. I'm going to listen to my favorite music, watch some porn, use a new toy, whatever it is. I mean, you guys, you know what? I'm going to have a fun master brewery episode tonight. I'm going to listen to my favorite music, watch some porn, use a new toy, whatever it is. I mean,

you guys, you could be thinking that that's your goal, but don't be so focused on it. casual date with you. And casual date yourself. Exactly. Don't commit yet. Don't commit yourself in the first master. Right. I'm show up with flowers. Because the best part about masturbation and exploring, even if you're not looking for multiples is that we have so many kind of a rotten zones that we go our lives without discovering and you know You discover on

masturbation or with a really curious partner, which is amazing I'm gonna go into a tank filled with octopus and you're naked. It's gonna happen probably you know find something new Okay, so also you got to stay present So you do when your mind's going I'm done. I don't know. It's like gonna happen. You got to go back to your body So every time we're in it's going. Oh, I don't know, it's like, it happened, you gotta go back to your body. So every time we're in, it's going, oh, I just had one, it's like, back to the body, mentally and physically, after the first orgasm, if you get overwhelmed, frustrated,

you're just gonna shut down your body for a business like you've experienced. You said that that happened to you before, Andrea. So just turn your focus to the sensations that you're feeling at that time. So if you're like, oh, I just had one, and now my clitoris is super sensitive. And I wonder what's for dinner? Go back to your clitoris. Go back to that experience. How did that orgasm feel? Don't allow those thoughts to pull you out of the moment. And this is a great practice for day-to-day

life. Breathe. Okay. This is going to be your ticket, one of your second ticket to O'Lan, patience and breathing. When you're staying present and you take yourself out of your head, you also have to remember to breathe because a lot of times we hold our breath when we're about to orgasm, we get anxious or we just hold our breath. But when you breathe, you can actually train yourself to move that orgasm through you and it also relaxes your body and expands your ability to experience pleasure. Deep breaths also help the oxygen flow. Right.

Right? Oxygen, more artists. This needs to be a new media's workshop. Like Lamas, but perbreeding with the world. You're so right. This is it. Who would come? Three times.

Three times, get it? One of the winners. You guys are a lot coming to my workshops, right? That's one two. So it's like your nervous system. Like your nervous system can do its job. If you are increasing the amount of pleasure that your brain can process. Makes sense. Okay, so then you got

to become clear. Okay. The literacy, the literacy is important. The clear is the focal point as you know, FEMA Rousal, 8000 nerve endings and it is the secret to unlocking your orgasmic potential. So you know Andrea how to have that first one, right? Bam, bam, thank you man, you got it. But after you reach the first one, explore new techniques for stimulating yourself through indirect touch. So if it's sensitive to your inner clearest, rub the areas around it. Stroke your inner thighs, play with your nipples, vary your position and the pressure and the

speed of your stroke. So don't go back to that quadrant of the clitoris where you had the orgasm. You can have orgasms in other parts of your clitoris, or you just make a little break. So just take your hands, use some lube, some coconut oil, like massage oil candles around your body, and you probably just require a short break before you the sensitivity goes away, actually, and go back to the hot spot or the new hot spot. Sex toys, huge fan of sex toys for the multiple O's. Again, experiment with feels good with a small literal vibe. Make sure that you don't let the arousal drop completely. So when you said you had that first one, you're like, yeah, keep it going. But again, take it off that if you are already using one,

use it to trace around your inner thighs or nipples. So you just keep it going. That's just like the first wave, okay? And you can also crank it down. If it was up high, crank it down. And then rebuild it. So you're building and building to the sensations again. You know, use it in your nipples. And just remember, it might take some time

but stick with it. And if you have a listening, you might have heard the story, but if not, it's one of my favorites of 2015. Laurie who works with me, I gave her the Weve I Touch because we all tried different toys in the office and we review them. And she said to me, I've never had a multiple orgasm. And I said, you know, and I told her exactly what I just told you all. And I told her some of the things to look out for and what to do. The next day was the show where we were viewing the Weve I've Touch. And she didn't tell me until the show, but she said, Emily, I had five orgasms at night.

Because she just relaxed. That's five times her record. Yeah, in one night I was like, holy moly moly. So there you go. I think everyone's gonna have no. That should be good news for your resolution. When how many guys did listening to that just now? How many guys do you think are jacking off? I hope not that many.

Creeps. Think about that. Oh my God. I hope not. Okay. Here we have another one. Creeps. No, you know what?

I don't care. I know you don't. If I turn you on. I'm sure it's your hippie. I'm a too. We cover this. I'm not a hippie. I am a hippie.

I have hippie sensibilities. I love it. I like it. I love it. I like it dead You're beating off while you're listening to me. Whatever man who can judge me. I'm taking it in I'm so not pressure. Well, I'm just like I'm glad you're listening. Tell your oh, you know You could do tell your friend if you like the show and you just came be like hey, guess what this is better than porn because porn I have guys work not how guys work. They'll do it. They'll finish and they'll be holy It's aimed and the last thing you're gonna do is call a friend and say, I just beat off to a biker. It's not me. Okay.

So here's the next email. How to date two girls at once. Anderson, you might have something to say about this before you were married. When you're single, dear Emily, when you're single, what is the best way to handle going on dates with more than one person? Should you be upfront about going on dates with another person? What if you end up liking both tips would be greatly appreciated Chris? Okay, Chris here's a deal when you're dating casually

Unless they ask if you're dating other people you don't need to bring it up on the first date or even the second date I mean I always assume that if I'm dating someone They're probably dating other people so that's okay Either way, you don't have to have a big conversation about early on, but this is when you have the conversation, when it starts to get sexual. If you know you're going to be intimate with them or you're starting to be intimate, it's considered just good form. Let your partner know, hey, you know, I'm dating other people.

And of course, you have to use protection, so it's for your sexual safety, which you should always be using. If you do start to notice that's for your sexual safety, which you should always be using. If you do start to notice that you're getting some feelings, then you should also be really open to by your dating situation. Now, if you end up liking both of them, if you're all on the same page, you're fine. You can all date each other and, you know,

date whoever you please, because eventually what happens with those, like I've done that, I've dated like, three guys at once, two to three, it gets exhausting though. Because then you don't remember, You're like, remember I told you that story about my dad and the clown and they're like, no. And then I'm like, oh yeah. You're total active when we're at that. Oh, I know. My memories are in the back. Right. Or, or sweetie, because you're afraid of the person's name. It doesn't last long. It

can't last long. So, um, but if there's one person that decides they prefer exclusivity, then you got to choose either it's going to be you doing the, you know, you might decide and give them the ultimate, they might give you the ultimate and that's when it happens. But I like the idea of you dating casually and seeing multiple people to, you know, increase the likelihood that you're going to find someone that you want to be with. But how have you handled it Anderson in the past? Poorly. I say I thought that.

What did you do? What was the wrong way to do it? Well, I was at a place where I was just really tired of getting my heart broken and being a monogamous surreal monogamous stator and I was kind of Being very promiscuous and I was like seeing like I think five maybe six different people kind of throughout the week And it was exhausting for how many weeks for same five? Yeah, like people were coming and going and just one of the periods of my life, you know, I mean, like I was meeting people everywhere I'd go, everywhere I'd go, I'd find somebody

different and new and it was just, and I was trying to be cool with it, I tried to be, but I was never good at being that guy, you know what I mean? Like I, I would, I would stay in contact with people after one night stands because I felt dirty that it was one night stand. Are you talking with us? Did you like become friends with them for a long time? But I did go through it. But then with me anyways, it's pretty easy to fall

pretty hard for more than one person. And that's what another happening. And it was ugly. And then you eventually. I figured it out. But yeah, it's. I'll figure it out too. Yeah, be careful.

Any vice for the wisdom form pitfalls? Yeah, I mean, just really be cognizant of other people's feelings, other than your own. Don't let your own cloud other people, because it's a way to really, really hurt people. That's true. And I learned that the worst pain I could feel

because I'm someone co-dependent is my hurting other people. And I still think about that period of my life and feel like I do that thing where I can twitch in my car. Like, you're on the go, yeah, I do that. What do I do? I think I do that thing where I like I twitch in my car I think that's a great advice and the truth is most people are very very forgiving in fact people appreciate the truth Obviously more than they do lies and I found that I had to learn that too like I'm for a while I went through a period where I was just not committing I would go and ditch people I'm like I'm really not ready to be in a committed relationship. And then I would tell them that.

And they always just appreciated that I was honest about it. You know, they're like, okay, I get it. Like, and if they were down with that, they were. But it just felt so great to be free about that. But for a long time, for a while, I wasn't able to. And so that didn't feel good either

because I would be dating multiple people. And they weren't asking, but I felt bad. So you're honest. And you probably really like some of them. And if you're afraid that if you're honest with them, they'll go away. Right. And you want to keep your, exactly. Keep your abs, the whole thing.

So that's a deal. Okay, that's all we have time for. Anderson, happy, happy New Year. I love you. I'm grateful for you this year. I'm grateful for you. And every year. And happy New Year to all my listeners.

And thank you all. I am nothing without you, seriously. So thank you for listening to this show and supporting it for 10 years. Also, we are looking for interns, anyone living in this area, LA area, orange county. If you can get your ass to Hollywood, we will talk to you. We want writing samples, e-n resumes,

feedback at sexwithelmee.com. And hey, right now, will you're emailing me by your resolution? Follow me on Instagram and Twitter at sexwithelmee. And like my Facebook.com such sex-friendly page. And if you want to help M's podcast and get like listed on one, not the way to do that is to review it or give it a, give it a, give it a, get on iTunes, give it like a one or a five, one or a five.

No, one or a five. So that always sound the film both. I don't, I don't like any mess. No, I don't want any ones. Don't even go. Do you hear iTunes? All right, then fives or nothing. It actually does help us because a few years ago we, we did this thing where we charged for the podcast by mistake.

Why would you do that? Because I was so broke, and this company came to me and they're like, 99% of the same. That was why you were showing your nipples, right? No, I never showing nipples, but I was like, God, maybe, but that didn't work. People got mad and they wrote me.

Oh, I know the company. I know the company, right? Yeah, they'll do it. And I was just like, death, I was like, I don't know how to do this. So anyway, I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you?

Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Have a New Year. Have a New Year. Okay, everybody, you know it's amazing. We talk a lot about resolutions, but what is amazing is to relax and de-stress in 2016. Stress is a huge killer of your sex drive. Guess what? You know how to de-stress?

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