Sex With Emily - Holy Phone Sex, Batman!

Episode Date: October 3, 2017

Talking: it saves us and it confounds us. On today’s show, Emily is joined by Menace to help write your sex script for a better time in the bedroom! How do you find casual sex partners? Is there an easy way to tell your partner it’s time to drop some lbs? Feeling pressured to put a ring on it? Emily and Menace give advice on how to start these sex and dating discussions as well as giving you a crash course on hot phone sex. Tune in and listen up! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Womanizer, DONA, Intensity, Sportsheets Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, and today's show menaces here and we're helping you navigate your sex relationship and everything in between questions. Topics include, how to get the dirty talking party started, best way to vet casual sex partners, how to encourage your partner to be their healthiest self and getting the most pleasure possible in a new relationship. All this and more, thanks for listening. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go.

I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go.

I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go.

I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna have to go. I'm gonna. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm gone.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. From our formation, check out our incredible blogs on our website. They're going to rock with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between from our information. Check out our incredible blogs on our website. They're going to rock your world. People are loving them because there are personal stories, their tips, their tricks, their just everything you want to know about sex dating and relationships. Hi, I'm Madness. I'm here with Madness. Oh, I posted that. I was going to be on the show on Instagram. Let me give a big shout

out to Norma D. Hopefully, I'm saying that and then Wolverine 0 3x on Instagram, let me give a big shout out to Norma D. Hopefully I'm saying that and then Wolverine zero three X on Instagram. Oh, you posted a picture of me. Yeah, I posted it on my Instagram. Because I don't want to repost, I don't want to take photos of myself and that's what you force me to do every time I'm here. I know because we're cute and together.

So, but if you put two in together, I don't want to take photos of I'm here. Why the hell am I gonna repost them? I don't know. I just you never post pictures. Okay, but but now I posted one. Okay. Thank you I appreciate that and I was Ben is an Instagram no people I shout out. Yeah, I'm here and I'm love being with you Love being here has been a while. I know we had another podcast, but we're recording another one. I know. It's true.

And it's great being together. I know. I really miss you. You're like my old buddy. I'm glad that things are going so well for you with life and work and stuff like that. And I want you to maybe out. Well, there's not really more time. But if there was more time, we could like, you could come see my new house.

Sweet. The beginning. And I was going to say, follow me and say, I'm going to. Found me and attempt at. I love our feeds, And I was gonna say, follow me on Instagram. Follow me on Snapchat. And I love our feeds, but then you might not know. No, like why should I follow? I follow, it's definitely,

well, because we're doing, we're doing, you see us right now, we're doing our stories on Instagram and Snapchat. And we've got some cool things going on here. We give away, do giveaways and fun quotes to inspire you today. Yeah. Which of people look at men's?

All right, let's see it. Because this thing, I'll say this real quick. Okay, so I'm not a social media expert at all. But this is the thing that I'll tell you the things that bother me. When you see TV show or, you know, there's an event going on and you see a poster

or something like that or somebody shouts out their social media, they will say follow us at bobobobo. Why? Why should I follow it at blah blah blah blah. Why? Why should I follow it? Why should I look at it? They never give you the answer. Exactly. So I'm gonna go on, I'm gonna go with Emily's Instagram

right here and I'm gonna look through it. I'm gonna find out why you should go to sex, why you should follow me. On Instagram. It's good. It always works. Oh, you're showing a lot more skin lately on these videos.

What's this video? Oh, that was for fun. Oh, let's, a lot more skin lately on these videos. What's this video? Oh, that was your tank top going on. Oh, I know, I know, I move the kind of bit. I should bring that on my trip. Yeah. That is, let's go. Oh, it's my new service where I get clothes and they send me clothes and they get to go out.

And that's, yeah, it's cute. It's a video. It's a top one. It's good. It looks good on you. I like it. What else you got here? Okay, so here's you having some drinks with a friend.

You have a polka dot address on. That's pretty good. And then you have some dude that's like all over you right here. Who's that guy? He looks like a backup dancer for JLo. No, that show with Nico. Nico from Younger. Nico Torrella.

Dude, he's so, that picture, that thing. You told me you want, you should see what he says in that video. Okay. I'm excited. Do you know what I'm gonna do? Because sometimes, you know, a lot of people are going through Instagram and they can't turn on the audio because they're at work.

Oh, right. Maybe put some subtitles on it. I'll show you a program though, do that. Really? Yeah. You can put subtitles on. Yeah. On Instagram videos.

It's crazy. See, you are a social media expert. No, I'm not. We'll do that. Can we share it with the people? Because everybody is a social media expert. No, I'm not. We'll do that. Can we share it with the people? Because everybody is a social media expert. They always think they know the best. I don't want to say that, but just some suggestions here

and there. Okay, that is great. Thank you. Follow Sex to Emily on Instagram. It has some good stuff on there. And if anybody's listening, I know there's thousands upon thousands of people listening to this podcast. If you know anybody, listen up.

If you know anybody at Facebook or Instagram, Emily desperately needs to be verified on Instagram. Sex with Emily. So, how hard is that? Here, even if you think like maybe I don't know anybody on Instagram, at Instagram, go to your LinkedIn, type in Instagram and see you might be connected to somebody.

Hit them up. Help Emily out, because Emily gives you this show for free. All right? The least you can do is look into it, maybe you know somebody there, but her Instagram account needs to be verified if you can help her out. That'd be great. That's nice, man. What else do I want people to do?

I feel like you're in a really good salesy mode. I see you guys keep listening into the crowds. No, I'm not trying to be salesy, but I'm just saying like- I'm kidding. No, you're like really because you believe it and I believe it. Yeah, I'm just like, you know- I love it. I'm just being like- I get kidding, no, you're like really, because you believe it and I believe it. Yeah, I'm just like, you know, I love it, I'm just feeling like

it's all over the world. That's good. That's all. I love you all. Well, yeah, thank you for supporting the show. And I can't wait every day. I do appreciate it. I appreciate you.

I appreciate you, minus. And on our review, yes. I'd like to ask you five questions. All right. So when the show first started, as you can remember, by 12 years ago, you were there.

When I was doing my live show and you radio show, and I used to ask every guest the five sex of the only questions. They were quicky questions. Yes. And we brought them back when we've guessed in the show. Oh, good. And I feel as I've never asked you these questions.

At least that I can remember now. I don't think so. No. No, because you were never really a guest. Yeah, I was just kind of just a while. You were just fucking hanging around. Yeah. So, ready? I'm going to ask you. You got a rapid fire that you got to ask. Yeah, yeah, because you were never really guessed. Yeah, I was just kind of just a You're just fucking hanging around. Yeah, so ready. I'm gonna ask you. You got a rapid fire that you got asked. Yeah, yeah, yeah I got it biggest turn on biggest turn on a woman with a job motivated biggest turn off needy

Sexiest part of a woman's body hips What's the one thing you wish you could tell your current partner about your body's needs? Or current or all future or future partners that says here like, just any body wish that she knew about my body and its needs. And its needs. My needs are for you to be aggressive. You want her to initiate sex more? Yeah, I mean, that's good. That's been my whole thing.

I've always said that even not even in the sex part just even like in life in life, if there's somebody that you like, like, let it be known, you know, I know what you want. Let me know what you want. I just like this thing of a man and a woman and how it's supposed to be where a man is supposed to pursue a woman. If a woman is into a guy, let it be known, like, don't play these games and waste time. I agree, I agree. That's all right.

That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right.

That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right.

That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's all right. That's question, man. Stop wasting time. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short.

It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short.

It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. It's not too short. our slash clubs, San Francisco, bathroom, very classy. Which one? Oh, I don't even remember. I remember it was on by Van Nes Street.

Oh, I missed San Francisco. It's got like little sad little nostalgic. I missed the sun bar off that street. Okay, good to know. Thank you. That was really helpful. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's it.

I can do more questions all day. Okay, ready? Here's some more, ready? Yeah. Which of your four-player routine? Four-player routine. You asked for it. Making out and stuff.

What? Great. I like the old school, like, this making out, I guess. Making out is important. Yeah, and then you go from there. I don't know. You go from there. What would you say?

That's a good question. My four-player routine? Yeah. I would say that some sexy conversation. Okay. Some passionate things. So you consider that four-player team. Yeah. I would say that some sexy conversation. Okay. Some passionate things. So you consider that four-player. I'm a sapiosexual.

Actually, I'm writing a new column for exactly. I know you're a dinosaur. So it's a, it's a person who is mostly aroused by intellect. Okay. And so I'm writing a new column for Cosmo magazine. Yes. I'm contributing. It's called WTF.

Yeah. And it's an actually in the magazine. And every month I contribute to a column about like what's it WTF is blank. So last month it was outer course. And it's like, you know, all the like used to in high school. Yeah. Dry Humping and I was actually more detailed than that. And then this month is WTF, sapiosexual. And I know it sounds like we're done. So our, but it's actually someone who is mostly roused by by intellect over like physical attributes. I mean, you love writers. I always love writers. Yeah. I love writers. People that write. I dated a guy for like five minutes a few weeks

ago. There's a writer and I'm like, oh, God, another one. But it's true. You love Congress people like Congress say and feel that a that listen to your conversation. Exactly. Excessively somebody listens. Yeah. Um, it's true though. And I've always been that way that I, and I feel like that there's a lot of people like this where you go out to a club or just out to a party or walk it down the street. And you might like for me, like, okay, this is how I experience it being a safe, as actual. I don't typically look at a guy and go, oh, he's hot. I'm going to farm around and check him out. I mean, that can't tell you the, I can kind of one hand how many times in my life I've actually like gone after a guy because I thought it was attractive. Just a physical attribute to loan. Now, most I've actually gone after a guy because I thought it was attractive. Just a physical attribute to loan.

Now most of the men I have dated is because they were attractive or not, but something happened, we talked, we had a conversation that got my brain all turned on. I'm not telling you that he was doing advanced calculus. It's more about somebody who just has a passion for knowledge like I do, and then there's something I can learn from them, you can learn from each other, and there's passion about something. And that's what turns me on, is the brain, the mind. I mean, not that I don't love good or all sex.

I'm just saying that in a partner, and I also think the thing about being a sapiosexual is that there's actually a lot of relationships where you're kind of attracted to the mind over, like let's say just someone who's not a hot, young, and pretty, whatever it is, whatever you're attracted to, that all stuff goes away, changes at fades, or someone who's not hot and young and pretty whatever it is, whatever you're attracted, that all stuff goes away.

Changes it fades or someone who's older doesn't even matter. But if it's just based on what they have, you know, like their possessions and their looks, it's like it's not going to get you very fine life. But if you are constantly inspiring each other in an intellectual way. Well, I didn't know that conversation would be in the factor of, you know, pre-gaming for play. I was kind of kidding. Like, it's not like we have a deep political passion. Yeah, no, but I totally agree with you. I mean, if I knew that was an option, I would definitely put it in there. Like a hot conversation. Yeah, because I think that just hinds like when you finally get to the point of penetration. Exactly.

And then they just have penetration because they're like, stop talking now, Emily. Now they're talking too, as well. So, yeah, she's still talking. Exactly. I'd be so exhausted. Dating me. Yeah, I know.

I had this happen again. I don't need a nap. So for years, men's side would joke that my ex in San Francisco, who I dated for many years, and he's actually a very good friend of mine now. The one who's Kevin, I go to the other friends that when we were dating, like 10 years ago, we broke out, he was like at one point, he was like,

okay, how about you don't talk after nine o'clock and night and you do four or nine a.m.? Like we just don't talk, it's like a no talk zone. I'm like, this will never work. Like I cannot talk. Recently, I a no talk zone. I'm like, yeah. This will never work. Like I can't not talk. I know. Recently, I was dating a guy and he was like, we kind of ended it and he was like,

I was like, you know, what I'm with you, I feel like kind of alone. And he was like, well, when I was eating, I can't finish reading The New York Times. Yeah. And I was like, that was our last word we ever spoke. Oh, really? You're serious?

I wasn't like a serious word. He was like, he's super focused in trying to get his stuff and I'm talking and I wanna talk and I feel alone with him. I think that was it. I mean because you're, I mean, they're not really super in a television or anything like that. I mean, you're definitely gonna find people that you'll be in relationships with

that love having conversations. But definitely, you'll run across people that are like, okay, I wanna watch TV or I wanna read a book. I've just talked to her TV shows. TV or I want to read a book. I don't talk during TV shows. You don't, that's a lie. There's no way that you're not distracting at all during a television show. It depends, but I think that's the part that's the type, I mean, you at least know the

type of person that you need. Exactly. You got to keep it in your mouth. I mean, for me, that would not work. Because I would. What, talking? Because I'll be so exhausted as a big. You got to keep it in there or something. I mean, for me, that would not work. Because I would. What, talking? Because I'd be so exhausted as a big. You are exhausted. I bet your girlfriend does not talk very much, right?

Or does she? She does. It's weird because her and I talk a lot, but when we're around other people, she's kind of quiet. And they're like, oh, your girlfriend's so quiet. And what she really isn't, it just went her and I are together. We talk a lot, but she's out. She doesn't want to dominate a conversation.

Right, but do you feel like when you're out, you're talking more, doing more talking? Yeah, but we kind of like, when we're in a group, and people kind of go our separate ways, we don't have to be like standing right next to each other. Right. That's good. That's healthy. We are the power couple that stays together and we talk as one type thing.

She goes off and does her own thing, I do my own thing. Yeah, that makes sense, that be boring. Well, I'm glad you're still in a relationship. And you're not me. Okay, one more question here, was what's the most embarrassing sexual thing moment? A night, a scenario, trying a new move. Like, anything really embarrassing

sexually ever happened to you. Baircing. Oh, okay. I would say probably not the very first time or probably like the third or second time. I was super embarrassed to go by condoms. I think I've probably shared this story before, but for new listeners that I asked my buddy, I was like, dude, do me a favor, I'll pay you $20, go buy some condoms for me. And he was super embarrassed, so he went to the local 7-11,

and he looked straight up like the unabomber. Sun glasses on, hood on, like covering up most of his face, and he goes in and he buys the condoms. I don't even look at the box. I just take them and then later that night, you know, I go try to hook up my girlfriend, open the condoms, put them on, didn't realize, and I didn't even know they made these un-liberated condoms.

Oh yeah. Oh the fuck wants that. Nobody wants that. Why do they make those? I don't know, honey. They don't. And this is what people do. Yeah, oh, the fuck wants that nobody nobody wants that they make I don't know honey. They don't and this is what people do I don't know like the baby part or whatever it's like dry and hurts That's what is going on. This is not working that is such a sad story because you can't recover

You probably didn't have a move sitting around. I don't know. What is that about? Do they some people of allergies? Yeah, they do some people of allergies and that's why you should only use I don't know why. What is that about? Do they sell people of allergies? Yeah, they do. Some people of allergies, and that's why you should only use, I don't think I can talk about this. I'm gonna create a condom company, see me like, what are you thinking? No, listen, skin condoms, which I've been talking about for years, and I don't even think I talk about this enough because like now that like my niece is in college

and I'm talking to her friends about condoms and stuff, because that's right, you believe my niece is starting college? Yeah. Remember when they were just, pumpkins, little pumpkins, cuties? Yeah. Skin condoms, SKYN, they are literally the best condoms on the planet, and I'm saying that because it's true,

and no one's ever disagreed with me, and they're like, thank you, I thought condoms were all terrible. Like I thought every condom felt like the one meant is just a scuttle, because there are really bad condoms out there, and we don't know it. So anyway, they're polyisoprene, which means they're non-latex, they're like soft, and they're thin, they're soft, and they're thin, and they're amazing.

On my common talk. But, yeah, they don't make that kind without the lube. It's terrible experience. That's so sorry. Yeah. I know. But anyways, I think that was the most embarrassing. But it wasn't you.

Oh, you putting them out with the girl, though. Yeah, not knowing, like, that these things even existed. And they're hard to get on at first, right? Yeah. I'm sorry. So dumb. OK, so we can move on to some sex in the news. The big time we was going on the news. Well, OK, this was going on the news.

This is really important news. All right. And not just because I was quoted in the article. How to have phone sex. Experts share must-know tips and what men don't like. This just came out. So I thought I would share with you. Men don't like. Yeah, about sex in the news.ips and what men don't like. This just came out, so I thought I would share with you. Men don't like. Yeah, about sex and news.

I think what men don't like. Sex and news about phone sex. It was in the HollywoodLife.com. Sweet. Okay, if you're in a long-distance relationship or in a work trip, you just feel lonely in your hotel room, you might want to have phone sex. FaceTime sex, whatever it is. And I get asked this a lot, so that's why I was happy. They called me about this. I say, here's some of my tips, ready? How did you phone sex, FaceTime sex, whatever it is. And I get asked this a lot, so that's why I was happy.

They called me about this. I say, here's some of my tips, ready? How did you phone sex? Start out with a sexy text message. You can let your partner know that you're turned on and you're thinking about them at that moment. And you could say something like, it'd be so hot to hear your voice right now.

And then that way, you're letting know that you want to talk a little dirty, but also you can tell if they're at work, whatever they're like, babe, not now. Also remember the thing about just kind of like normal sex. Phone sex is kind of like regular sex, that it sometimes it just does not run as smoothie as you'd like. Like if you're worried about what to say, you can make a cheat sheet beforehand, you can practice in front of the mirror, you can do it as you're driving along because it's different voice

It's a different it's a different experience that you're taking on. It's a new skill And it's okay that if it's if you laugh or if it's weird or you say something that you don't want to because again It's a skill and I think a lot of you'll just don't do it They don't talk to her already. They don't sex because they're like, oh, I'm so afraid when you judge So I say do I'm going to next next level to you with face time Face time, yeah, yeah, yeah phone sex face time sex emojis are a factor now Sexting back in the day Pedro code trying to sex and

Type it in all the art even trying to sex with like old-school phones where he had to type in The number to like five different times. I don't think sexting happened. Oh no, it definitely did. It did? Yeah. I remember that. I have really good at that too. What was it called? What? Porky.

Oh, I forget what the... It doesn't matter as long tab ago. It's tea, something. Yeah, you're right. That's for cue you. Something. Okay. But I'm just saying like the level of access people have now to all different ways to have

phone sex is incredible. I know, right? Face time. I feel like maybe people are more having FaceTime sex than phone sex, but I feel like it's a lost or other sex thing. And this kind of goes for sexing as well because some of my tips are like describe what you're doing to yourself at this moment or what you want your partner to do. That's very easy. Be descriptive, stay like right now. Like, I'm touching myself and I'm thinking about you, you know, sucking at my nipple. So, um, oh, baby. This doesn't happen often because I know like a lot of women. No, no, no. I know a lot of women are afraid. I mean, I would definitely never do this, but they're afraid that their partner might share what they're texting with their friends.

Yeah. And I was at a bar and I think it was just because of the time difference of where I was at, but my buddy's girlfriend was texting him and he was like wasted and he was just like, he's like, she was like texting him the most filthy like foul stuff. What does that mean? Every foul. Um. Give me an example because I mean, I mean, foul. Uh. Give me an example, because you're filthy

might be my fantastic. Well, she's just like, it wasn't, it was just like from zero to 1000. It's like, hey, what are you doing? Oh, I want you to fuck me in the ass right now. Bye bye. That's right, I want your cock in my throat. I'm like, Jesus Christ, like there wasn't any lead up time.

There was no reply. That's how women feel when men just like rip our clothes off. Yeah, but this is a woman to a man, which was incredible. And he showed it to you. Yeah, but he was just, you know, he was like, I'm sure if he was by himself. Right. I mean, he has no one to share it to. Right. No, but I think that I think goes for sexy photos, naked photos that men or women, you get a picture they will turn around, who's ever next to them and show them. Yeah, and I think he was just telling me because he was confident that I wouldn't tell anyone, tell a million people listening to a podcast.

Well, I mean, I'm not saying who it is, but I'm just saying like the other people that are around the room that were there that I would be like, hey, check out, you know, Johnny's text that he's getting, you know, it is laughing with him about it. Okay, well, that's, yeah, I mean, you know what, it doesn't matter. Because a lot of the stuff can be screenshot, you got to be really confident on who you're talking to. You can talk, so you can phone sex it or sex it,

but you can say here's another thing. I just want to give people quick tips, you can use your own past experiences for inspiration. So if you're not sure what to say again, you like, remember that time that we were, I'm trying to think of it over the last time, we were in the shower and it was so hot when you were, I was using my sports sheets, sex in the shower line of handles, of grips on the wall and you were fucking me from the hand or whatever. And I'll be text acting like, oh, that wasn't me. Oh, my bad.

Dude, that happened to me once. All in that surprised. I'm like, don't you remember when we had that sex and wherever my backyard, he's like, what was it me? I'm like, oh, totally. That was a backyard. I'm so high right now.

I don't know what I'm saying. I'm on Piyoti. I'm at a retreat. Oh, one time I was a little high. Yeah, I'm on a high Alaska. Oh, I was, I did the stoner. I'm at a retreat. Oh, one time I was a little high. Yeah, I'm on my ayahuasca. Oh, I was, I did the stoner. I misread a guy, I was dating a guy briefly. And I misread that he wanted to have fun

to accept that moment, because I couldn't hear what he was saying. And I thought he said, like, I'm so hot for you. And what do you think? He might have just said, like, it's really hot here. And I was like, yeah, I'm hot for you too. Like, I really want to get it. And he was like, gotta go. Like, I think I thought that that's where he was going.

But I missed. I missed her. I missed her and if I escalated phones X without testing the water. Okay. So you're on bath salts. So pay attention to your tone. So you want to speak slowly and breathy. And don't be afraid to moan.

Ah, ah, like that. I would laugh so hard. That's just me though. That's just me. Again, I don't speak for all guys. Obviously we share that many times, but. No, my this is not speaking. The opinions of menists are not representing

every man in the world. All like an statement of all guys, but I would be laughing my ass off. That was like menists. I mean, like, I gotta go. I'll be dying. What time will you be here for the show? I'm like, never.

Is there a week or two? It's a freaking me the fuck out right now. Okay, so avoid bad timing. Don't initiate if your partner's at work or didn't meet or you're, you know, with her parents at lunch. Don't skip to the climax. Like your friend did. Like, hey, fuck me in the ass. You actually want to build it. Build tension. Like, you know, with their parents at lunch. Don't skip to the climax, like your friend did,

like, hey fuck me in the ass. You actually wanna build it. Build attention, like you would with real sex, the actual sex. And if you can't think of what to say in the moment, like when you're in politics, you just say like, that's so hot, or what next? If you know the breather,

that's just a good tip to the day. I feel like that's really helpful. I love it. Okay, love it too. Okay, let's give a shout out to our amazing sponsors. Thank you everybody for supporting our sponsors, keeping the show free, and follow me on Instagram for that same reason.

I love you all. Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. Now, we're onto your emails. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, that's amazing text me your question. Ask Emily one word to 7979. 7979, you just text ask Emily, you get a link back, you ask your question. You can also submit a question at sexwithmwe.com via the Ask Emily tab. As always, what do they got to do, Menace? They have to tell us their age, where they're listening from,

and how they're listening. Right. And soundcloud, sex-only.com. We're in I Heart Radio. I Heart Radio, on Spotify. Soundcloud, Google Play. All that. Dude, everywhere.

Just put those factors, because we need to know your age, because we need to know what point you are in life. Yeah, we do need to know where we can't help you. Location's always good because that kind of helps. Maybe we can give some suggestions on where to meet people. Right. And- Minus why I had a great burger there.

Yeah, I have a great burger somewhere. I'll let you know where to go. And yeah, just how you listen, that just kind of helps out the show. So those are the factors, if you can just put those in there. You don't even really have to use your real name if you don't have to. We don't care. It's all good. Fake your name. Just don't fake your orgasm.

Hey there Emily. I'm such a fan of your show. I love how no topic is off limits. I'm newly single and I love it. I've always dated looking for the one and was in and out of relationships. I have now turned over a new leaf and I'm embracing the single life. I've always been super comfortable with a thought of casual sex,, but how do you even find people to have casual sacks with? How do you make it clear that it's just casual sacks? Whenever I'm with someone for casual sacks, it always ends up being more than sacks because they start to have feelings. I've also tried sacks with the next, and that just didn't work. There's emotions and feelings again. I'm single, and ready to playfully mingle, just need some guidance and we're gonna look.

PS, I've told all my friends about your podcast, much love Rachel, 24 New York. Thank you Rachel for telling your friends and thank you everybody for telling your friends because again, that also helps the show and I'd love to hear from your friends and if it's helping you, it's probably gonna help so many love.

Tell your mom, tell your parents, tell anybody. Okay. New York City, 24 years old. You're not gonna have any issues. Well, she is though because, well, yeah, here's the thing though, I think that Rachel, that you have to be upfront right away, that that's what you're looking for, for casual sex. And you're saying they all start to have feelings for you. Well, I think that that probably happens. You're made it. That's what she said. Like Tinder, all casual sex is people really looking for relationships on there. I mean, hopefully you're on the dating apps.

I'm sure you know about the dating apps. You could be on Bumble or Tinder or any of them. And you get to choose if it's about a hook up or not. You could say I'm looking for a casual partner, not commitment right now if you're into dating that way. But I also think that maybe what's happening is you're dating people. You like them. You want to keep it casual, but maybe you're seeing them more often than is going to work for you. So for example, I'm assuming that if you're dating people you like them. You want to keep it casual, but maybe you're seeing them more often

than is going to work for you. So for example, I'm assuming that if you meet someone, you like it, it's good. You probably see them twice that week or maybe... Yeah, I've seen them twice. And if you start them, if you see them too often, they're going to get the wrong idea and they're going to get attached.

So I try to get a few people in the lineup and date several guys at once if you can or women and whoever you're dating and space them out and be very clear though ahead of time like I am not looking for a relationship and unless you make yourself available to them they won't be able to catch those feelings. Now you might also be sending mixed messages as someone who's done that in the past like I really didn't want a relationship but yet I love being with some guys that I was dating and so I like couldn't help it because it felt really great

But I really didn't want to be with them and so my words would say one thing and my actions would say something else And so you got to make sure check yourself there that you're not sending these messages to these to these people because that can happen as well So I just think being up front communicating your needs I'm putting it out there Pretty easy easy. That's the easy one. What else do we have? We got more. Okay. Um Hello Emily. I love your show I think it's amazing that you're creating an open environment for conversation and you're bringing so much knowledge cheer listeners

Thank you. I've been with my girlfriend for about two and F years She's almost 27 and I'm 27 for the past few months She's pressured me with engagement dropping hints and even explicitly saying that she wants to be engaged by 27 And we'll leave if she isn, because it isn't fair to her. She's an amazing girl fine in every way but for some reason these hints and this pressure has left a scar on me. I feel myself preparing to pop the question just to stop these hints and get it over wet. The pressure that she's creating is also affecting her sex life and creating resentment within me. Should I tell her the truth? I love her and I want to be with her,

but I'm starting to feel emotionally abused with all of this pressure. Thank you, Emily, you are awesome. Joey 27, Portland, Oregon. No, Portland, Oregon, by the way, the Woody Show, which is a boring show that I'm on, we're on a brand new radio station there every morning, all to 102.3.

So, as you can listen, tele-friend. Yeah. Every morning. I'm so proud of you. It's definitely a lot different from this show. So don't expect it to be the sex of how many shows. Okay. Way different. Joy, so after we answer this, you can go listen to men's show and tell your friends. Yes. Okay. But here's the thing. Joy, first of all, I think that you're awesome and very evolved here. The way you're writing this, because you're saying you actually know yourself,

so I just want to point this out I love that you're able to use the words that you're starting to feel resentment and that's why you actually don't You might not feel like having sex with her So you just seem like you're yourself aware and you're you're really paying attention to what's going on And I totally get why this is not feeling good to you because no one wants to be pressured into making the biggest Decision of their life and I feel like for whatever reason she's got this idea in her head, by the age of 27, I gotta do it, gotta do it, and for you, it's like,

I get it, maybe you would want to marry her, but with all that pressure, she takes kind of the thrill and the fun away from it. If you guys actually decide together if you're going to be a good couple, and when she lays it down and just says, I wanna marry, I mean, how much time have you guys spent even discussing, like, do the same values, the same goals?

Do you want the same things? I mean, you're 27 and I feel like, like, next time I think that, I mean, I think that you can be honest with her and let her know also that when she pressures you like that, it makes you want to retreat because you're feeling like, it's kind of like a guilt trip and you're not even sure. Because what I think that sounds as like is like,

she's just gotta like check this off her list by the time she's 27, but how much of what she's saying is like, I'm excited to spend my life with you Joey because I envision our life together. Like, I love you and this is why I love you and this is how I picture our life, but it sounds like she's just laying down the salt to mainum.

And I don't know if you think there's some room for you guys to enhance your conversations. And as we see. I was just gonna say, I know this is a lot of pressure. Just like look back and say, okay, is this somebody that I want to be with? Is this somebody I want to marry? Then fine, then just go with it. If you can't come up with an answer, then you know, you got to be completely honest and

tell them and see what she has to say. Yeah. And I think that if you don't know, you know, especially when it comes to that with popping the question. The thing that I'm concerned to me here, is you said, just to get her to stop talking, you want to just pop the question. That's not like, I'm just gonna like, buy this shirt, or whatever,

I'm just gonna like, take my friend to dinner because she's been asking for me. No, this is like, I'm just gonna marry this person. They can get them to stop talking. This is not the kind of thing that you make those decisions. And so, it sounds like it really has gotten to this point where I think you could say, or when you're telling these things to me, when you're pressuring me, it's making me pull away.

I got to be honest to you. And it's not because I don't love you. And it's not because I don't picture spending my life with you, perhaps, but I think there's stuff that we should talk about. And I think you could say, or, what kind of life are you picturing? Or like tell it, tell it to me why you're excited to live with me. Why are you excited to get married with me? And I think that maybe you'll realize after these conversations,

if you go a little bit deeper that maybe you are more aligned and maybe you'll be like, you know what? Now that we're actually expanding the conversation beyond like let's just get married and see what happens, you actually do want to be with her. And maybe you'll find out some things that you realize, you know what, I'm glad we got more in depth about this. And I actually don't want to marry her.

So I don't pop the question because of pressure and you can be honest with her. And again, this is very touchy so you want to be like stop asking me to pop out the question or I won't do it. But you guys say babe, I love you. But when you start to pressure me like that, I feel resentment. And I don't want to feel that way. So can we just slow this down and have some conversations about? Yes.

Yes. Hi Emily. I just ended up having a 10 year relationship and I'm in the process of divorce. My ex was the only boyfriend I ever had. We met when I was 17 and now I'm 27. Now that I'm entering a new phase, I'm trying to be more open about sex. I've had a few hook ups, but as a shy person, telling my partner exactly what I want is challenging. Honestly, I'm not sure if I know exactly what I want or how I like it. So how do I get the most pleasure when I'm with someone

new? Thank you. I love your podcast, Michelle. 27 Iowa. I love Iowa. I used to be wanted in Iowa for speeding. Really? Yeah, I was driving to there. I got a speed ticket that I never paid. But I paid it off. I put this story. Yeah, I'm good now. I'm lingered for a while. It did because I totally I lost the ticket. I don this story. Yeah, I'm good now. I'm lingered for a while. It did because I totally, I lost the ticket. I don't know what to do. You were probably 27. Yeah. Okay, Michelle, I feel like you just got a relationship.

10 years is a long time from age 17 to 27. Yeah, but you're still in your, you know. Oh my God, yeah. You're young and I. Perfect, time. Perfect, yeah, I'm glad you got a relationship that wasn't working for you. And let me tell you something. If you're a shy I perfect time. Yeah, I'm glad you got out of a relationship that wasn't working for you and Let me tell you something if you're shy person or not a shy person

It's very challenging for everybody to talk about what they want and bad if you know you've been listening to the podcast You know that it that's actually a lot of what I talk about is like really getting comfortable with what you actually do Like and then practicing communicating that to a partner. So I'm not even sure, like, I don't know what your sex life was with your partner. He's the only boyfriend you've been with. So I think this is gonna take some alone time, some masturbation, like all the stuff that I talk about in the show, like figuring out, like, oh, what does feel good to me?

So then you'll know, even if it's just like, oh, I like when somebody, I like when you rub my clitoris in this way or I like these kind of movements, this is what gives me orgasm, I feel like you could practice that and learn your body more that way just by masturbating and figuring that out. But also when you're with a new partner, it's not going to feel comfortable for especially if you didn't do it with your last partner, but it gets easier. It's a skill that you build over time.

So even if it's just a matter of like moving in a certain way so they're understanding what you desire or just like saying it, even if it's uncomfortable and being like, you know what, I really like to slow things down and make out some more. And even it feels weird or your voice gets squeaky, the more that you actually start saying these things out loud that you want, it just gets easier. And I think that people appreciate it. We all want direction, right, menace. Yeah, I mean, should she be exploring her own body to figure out what she wanted?

That's why I said, I said she should do, yeah. I said a little masturbation. I was gonna say double down, but that's not really doubling down, is it? Well, I always come to my, I mean, I know you said that, but like, in what way do you think? Or just, I feel like 10 years, he's the only guy he fits sex with, I'm not even sure that you masturbated in those 10 years. And as you guys know that I think that masturbation for men and for women is really important if you're in a relationship or

Out of a relationship and since you've been with them since you were 17 I'm just gonna take a wild guess here that maybe you haven't spent a lot of time alone and this is like not just like getting in your room and doing it Like take a bath explore your body rub your hands over your body like no like who are you now Is this woman who's been in a relationship for 10 years like who are you as a sexual being what really turned you on? Play with that like think about it. What are your sexual fantasies, what some hot moments from your past, and just start to kind of build your erotic self, if you will.

I mean, I think I'm answering your question here because I feel like- Well, there's a lot of us in the nation. So you might be rushing through, you're saying there's a few hookups, and also if don't rush into sex either, I would say that to everybody, actually I think a lot of us rush into sex because we actually feel like we can't say no or things are already moving along or we just think why not but if we don't often pay attention to our bodies saying you know I'm not really ready yet.

And so maybe you're not even ready yet. A lot of reading material at sex with only dot com by the way. Sure. Don't be afraid to type it in. I know it says sex with only dot com. But literally we have so many great blogs. Thank you to Jamie here who curates them all and just been killing them. Go read some stuff. Okay. Another email.

Oh, minus. Yes. We can help with this one too. All right. Hello, Emily. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend going on six years now. I'm more than happy with him and I'm positive who he the person I'll spend my life with. But here's the problem.

I find myself fantasizing over other men with more in shape and desirable figures. Don't give me that. This is why. I spend three to four days at the gym each week. I make healthy dietary choices. I want you look good for him, but he doesn't have the same mindset as I do.

He's put in a lot of weight. Since we first started dating, I feel like he doesn't care. I know if he were a better shape, it would make our sex life skyrocket. How do I approach him without being completely rude and sounding like a shallow bitch and tell him to lose some pounds? Thank you so much. I love listening to you, Taylor 24 Houston.

Houston. I love you Houston. So, momentum is fluctuating with what? I don't know if anyone's ever, I think you're, go ahead. You look great, but I know that you just said you went to the gym. Yeah, I started going to the, just recently I talked about. Kindly, I watched as the best investment I've made. I just my second one because I lost my first one.

But, you know, having the activity goals every day is great. You don't have to get an eye-watch that you can get, like, a Fitbit or something like that. How do you do that? This situation was funny because I was just ragging on my coworker the other day because his hair is all messed up. His clothes are all disheveled, and we're saying, oh, now you got a girlfriend,

you're just letting yourself go. You get kind of comfortable when you do have a partner, you don't really think about those things anymore, because you used to do all those things that tried to impress somebody, or you wanted to make sure you look good. So, I don't know, guys, I don't think guys are really that sensitive about that. I was wondering, I was gonna ask you,

I don't know. I wonder how much she encourages him to go to the gym with her, to be honest, I mean, like, she might be just implying, like, hey, I'm coming to go to the gym, I'm gonna come along, like, kind of, like laughs about it. She might, I know. That she's serious about it. We doesn't know that. She might not know. She's serious about it. We do that a lot at my work where we all talk about

how we need to get in shape. And there's some people that are way serious about it than others. And when they said, hey, you want to come to Jim, they're kind of like joking about it. But they're serious at the same time. Like, hey, you should really go to the gym, you know? No, it's true.

She can turn. More direct about it and see what he says. Yeah, I think you just say, babe, let's go together. That's the thing I often suggest to couples. I'm like, oh, we'll just like, you get a gym membership together. Yeah.

But also, a lot of times when men, you know, they gain weight, they feel unhealthy, their sex drive can go down, they're not feeling as sexual, they're not in the mood as much. I mean, men, as you said, you just start working out again, and you feel like you're more energy. Yeah, way more energy.

It's affected your sex life, but we've talked about this in the past too, that when you, it's true, when you actually have more and you're healthy, you're going to want more sex. Also though, you've been together for six years since you were 18. So that could be another thing that your sex life could be waning or you might be desiring other men. It could be also just because you've been together six years. Although it is a big deal if he's gained a lot of weight. It's not only the weight that you find an attractive, but maybe just the fact that he's not taking his own health that seriously, that's sexy either. You're like, I just want you to take care of yourself.

Like I do and I get it. Yeah, definitely. You have fixed your motivation to go out and eat, do things and enjoy being together. Yeah. You know, I know, definitely, I'm just like, I'm too exhausted because yeah, I'm too exhausted because, yeah, I'm out of shape, not working out. And I'm like, I don't really want to go all the

way out to the pier, I'd rather stay at home and watch who the word Netflix or something like that instead of actually being outside. And I know that's like going outside would be way more fun for my partner than staying at home. Right. So I'm sure that there would cause some resentment if the person is starting to act lazy. Yeah. So maybe there are some things you could, even just going for a walk. Like I remember, you know, even just like taking those 10,000 steps a day and guys walk places and do things together, couples who start new activities together or take courses together, like actually it brings them close.

It spikes the adrenaline, enhances connection. So maybe there's some creative ways that you could kind of you know get them to come on board with some some more physical activities I mean if you have the opportunity to get a dog to do it's true. It's so much fun. I'm gonna get a dog again Okay, I'm going to all right, so um that's all we got time for that's is Oh, I don't all right fine I'm gonna see you again. I know no honey. You'll come back soon. This was so fun. You're like just kidding. I don't, all right, fine. I'll see you again in the next month. I know, honey, you'll come back soon. This was so fun. You're like just kidding, I'm busy. No.

But I love you all. Thank you also, you guys for subscribing and iTunes. And also for reviewing the show on iTunes. Yes. Let's talk about that, Menace. You're really good at telling people why that's important too. It's very important because I don't want to guilt trip you, but Emily has a whole crew of people here that work very, very hard on the show and they don't ask you to pay for the podcast.

All we need you to do is go review the show. If you're listening on iTunes, there's a little comment section to say, oh, I love it, give it five stars. I mean, that's what Emily would love you to do. I don't care. You can give it one star. Well, that's just a surprise. I mean, Emily would cry.

I wouldn't help us. Well, at one point, a few years ago, we got some bad reviews, like six years ago, when we like charged. And I can't get those are the ones that come up first as negative ones from the- Emily was still trying to figure this out. 2006 or 2007. Yeah.

Someone's like, hey, guess what? You can charge and people, because I was broke and I didn't know, and then people are still, if that comes up first and I tuned, is the negative one. So we put more positive out there. Yeah.

The whole world, we have other places. Yes, please go review anywhere you listen to the show. Right. I would say you play and Spotify all those places that only helps the show. Even if you're like, Oh, I'm too afraid to write something on there because it says, it says, Saks, just go ahead and just start five star. Just rate it. Five star. That help out. We love it. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. And thank you for everything. Everyone check out menace and his show show congratulations for the Woody show being on four cities Yes, we're on if I if you live in Albuquerque, New Mexico We are on 104.1 the edge and if we if you're listening like this gentleman in Portland

We are on all to 102.3 and in St. Louis all to 104.9 and in Los Angeles All to 98 7 so a lot of places at the Woody show in the morning Lewis, Alts 104.9, and in Los Angeles, Alts 98.7. So a lot of places at the Woody Show in the morning, check us out. Check it out. I appreciate it. Congratulations, Vanessa. Thank you. Thank you, everyone, for listening.

I love you all. Thank you to my amazing team, to Ken and Jamie, our intern Shannon, producer, Lark, and Michael, and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamlee.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC