Sex With Emily - Hot V-Day Tips & Orgasmic Gifts

Episode Date: February 4, 2017

Need a little help getting into the Valentine’s Day spirit? On this show, Emily and Anderson break down the polarizing holiday, analyzing the reasons some of us hate it and sharing ways to help us all love it a little more. Are you looking for ways to make this V-Day your own? Emily shares hot tips and orgasmic gifts that’ll make your lover swoon. Flying solo? No problem! She’s got tips to help you show yourself some love on the day of love! Also, what do you do when your sexy gift falls flat with your partner? Emily and Anderson weigh in on the do’s and don’ts of sex toy gifting. So whether you’re loving your partner or loving yourself, this show has what you need to make your V-Day more sexy than stressful. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, whether you love it or hate it, Valentine's Day is right around the corner, so in today's show I'm sharing tips to help you fall in love with the day of love. From top gifts to the best ways to treat yourself, plus answers to your emails, how to turn your partner onto sex toys, what to do about those condom fears, all this and more. Thanks for listening. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day.

Hey, Avaline, you got a boy, Chris? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got everything. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's drinks? And we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and subscribe right away so you never miss

another podcast again. You just get them to that easy. Get them in your iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, all that stuff. Foulness and social media. I love that. Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, it's all at sex with Emily. And while you're also on the site,

you can shop my store, because everything I talk about pretty much is in our store on our site. And we get, most importantly, we update with amazing content every day, if I do say so myself. I am here with Anderson. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey, hey. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm good, how are you?

Good to see you. Look like you're making a speedy recovery from that spider bite. I, yeah. The spider bite and then three week virus. Can I just tell you that if I heard that one of my friends got bit by a black widow and I was just imagining all my friends and you know, in my head, I would land on you.

I bet I was M. I bet Emily got bit by the spider. Yeah. This has been the craziest month. Do you really think so? Why? But why? Because I'm often outside like, no, just because that's something that would happen to you.

It would happen to me. I'm glad you understand about me because the others were not so surprised. It's good though. I think it's good because of all my people in my role of exit is my head that are my friends. I think that you are most right for like a book. And when these things happen to you,

I get it'd be nice to have a few pages on the spider bite. I'm taking copious notes and the book is coming. But I don't know if I told you this. I might have mentioned this on last week's show. When menace was here, sorry, you were not here. But I was saying that it was so funny because I had to go back to urgent care because I've had this cold. I think I think they flooded my body with so many antibiotics.

When I was in the hospital that everyone should know, if you ever take antibiotics, you have to take probiotics, you get them at the health food store. And I'm- That creates a war in your body, because the antibiotics and the probiotics hate each other. Exactly, because- They war, it's like in Middle East and there. Exactly, right.

Brakes down your immune system, so I was taking antibiotics, but still I got the sick to sound back to urgent care. And he's like, oh my God, you're the spider bite, you're the girl, We were freaking out. He's like, we have never seen anything like this in 20 years. He's like, hey, bud, come over here. You're not brightening the other doctors.

That's always a bad sign. You never want to be in a hospital where they're calling their doctor buddies over to see you. He's like, that was just, yeah. That was just crazy. So that was just weird, huh? Is it nice to be known as a spider girl and not the sex girl for a minute?

It kind of was. They don't even know what I do for a living. Yeah, so that was fun. So, but to know that it doesn't happen that often, I don't know, I guess I'm not special. Everyone wants to feel special, right? But not for that, but I am making a recovery and my voice is still a little bit of horse,

but not as bad as it was a few weeks ago, as we know. And it's been good to see you. I feel like I've seen you like 18 times. All right. I even came in here yesterday and got the scoop on today's show. I know you weren't here. You pre prepped.

Yeah, I did. Can't buy. I know you know we're talking about Valentine's. I wasn't here. So hello to Eddie. I said hi to Madison. She told me what today's show is about. And she saw the four long look on my face when she said Valentine's Day.

And she says, don't worry Anderson. You as a man, there's going to be some good news for you. I promise. Yeah, there is good news for you. You're not alone, you men. You're not you You're not alone you men you're not you're not alone because what are you okay? So when I say valentines day Let's do a word is who wish my mom just left from Michigan, so excuse the long a's in the Michigan accent Alan so If you when I say valentines day to you, what do you think? Cause things I eat and

especially for a guy like me who's kind of counter culture and a contrarian and I go against the grain on most things, not sure exactly what that says about me or why, but I hate being part of the group and the hoards, especially with like a hallmark invented holidays, like Valentine's Day. It's just a money grab for these chocolate making strawberry making dipping a hallmark card producing people.

But at the same time, I don't want the wife who I love more than anything to feel neglected. So it's like a rock in a hard place. Exactly. So this is the conundrum. And so this is what we're going to cover on the show today because I think a lot of people feel pressured into Valentine's Day. They don't want to let their partner down.

That's what makes us dread it because we're like, oh my God, I got to get the flowers. I got to get that. I got to do something because the wife will be upset, but we don't want to disappoint a partner, yet we don't want anything to do with it. Restaurants are just ridiculous. I mean, everything's double priced and bover booked, and it's a headache.

I know, that's why you have to make it another day. And February already kind of sucks, because it's so short, and you know, your bills are due a lot earlier than normal. Right. Right. No, you're so right. But we're good. Cold, dark.

I agree. I'm going to get more into that shortly, but I'm going to actually stay in order right now. Other things I need to talk to you about. But I'm glad to hear that. If anyone, I was excited what Madison told me, which will come up later on the program about women's take on Valentine's Day today. Yeah, it's interesting, right? It's fascinating.

So everyone's listening, who's feeling you've got, it's like 12 days away, what is it like? No, it's a third, so it's 11 days away. We're gonna help you through this whole quagmour that is Valentine's Day, so you're gonna feel good about it. So, but I want to say that it was very good to see you though and I'm feeling what you're gonna do. You know what I'm gonna do?

That I do with Valentine's Day is I always buy calendars like late February, so we don't have calendars in the house. So you lose track of what day it is. She doesn't have like a Google calendar. I don't think she looks at it much. Who has a paper calendar? I do. I got six of them in my house, but they're all last years right now because I don't

get the new until after Valentine's Day. They can like turn the clocks back and stuff or like they turn the 10 minutes ahead or 10 minutes eight. Oh, yeah. Our clocks are all over the place. No, but okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. So listen, so here's a deal. The one thing I want to talk about really quickly is that you know I did all my somatic work last year with Celeste and Danielle and San Francisco. They're going to be here on February 12th and they're teaching a how to flirt workshop and some of the flirting skills some people don't you you do. I feel like you're a natural flirt. Back in the heyday I've heard the stories. I would get very I would flirt with people I had no interest in people. I had interest in, it didn't know I existed

because I would avoid them at all. Cause you were terrified. Yeah. You were gonna reject it. Also flirting, I think it's too, too, too side and street, right? Like also being able to pick up on flirting. I think it's just the cute, the cues from women,

the cues from men, we don't get it. So it's flirting your way to success. And I'm telling you, I learned more from them in these workshops I did than anybody. They're so hands on, they're so great. And if you're thinking, oh, I already know how to flirt, it's really not just like, oh, like, how to bat your eyelash.

It goes a little deeper than that. A body language. Yeah, body language, how to understand it, and how to talk to members of the opposite sector or the same sex, whatever you're into. Are there like different levels, like batting your eyes, like a one and like dropping your pants and spreading your legs as a tent?

No, that section doesn't go there. But it's more of being comfortable and how to put these skills into practice and like dropping your pants and spreading your legs as a tent. No, that section doesn't go there, but it's more of being comfortable and how to put these skills into practice and like practicing on others, which sounds weird too, but I actually always hated breakout groups and they're like grab a partner, or I literally wanted to leave.

What's a breakout group? You know when you're doing, have you ever done a workshop or done something like pick a partner? I do camp every summer, which is probably kind of similar. Yeah, but they're like grab a partner, you're gonna break into small groups

and like, oh my God, shoot, we have to break it up. Yeah, that they're like, grab a partner. You're going to break into small groups. I'm like, oh my God, shoot. We have to break it. Yeah, that's terrible. But it's like practical stuff and you practice and you get real life feedback. I learned more about myself in the six weeks. I did their courses. It wasn't just about flirting, but it was all about like intimacy and therapy. It was like sex therapy and how to talk to your partner about sex, but they're

they're geniuses. There's no one. Anyway, there's no one else like that. So even when you have to break off into groups, it was good. Hey, I'm telling you was my best group experience. Good. So you guys should go. There's no one. Anyway, there's no one else like that. So even when you have to break off into groups, it was good I'm telling you was my best group experience. Good So you guys should go. It's February 12th. It's actually 10 to three and there's more information. It's in LA It's in Manhattan Beach. Is that right? It's somatic institute.com slash somatic skills 10 to three is the flirting workshop So it's five hours, but it's like fun. I'm telling you the I'm it also me with my ADD

I didn't want the days to end it was like I would I would do it from 10 to 6 for 5, 10 to 7, five days, no I loved it. So I'm just telling you if they kept my attention, they're amazing, they're not my sponsor, they just changed my life, they could change yours. And also from four to six, they're doing a free, so in sort of somatica training if you wanted to that too. And I'll be there.

Would you frown on the listeners, now they have the address and no one is happening. Showing up around six o'clock at night and is kind of hanging out out front waiting to be like the first person to be practiced on. Oh, you know what I mean? I actually wouldn't. No, you want to frown on that?

You kind of see the steps. I don't know if you're just hanging out and you want to see like, hey, come flirt with me. Yeah, like all these ladies and men, but ladies coming out of the flirting workshop and they just out of the the flirting workshop. They might need some volunteers though. I'm not sure you guys check out their website. I'll also be doing a Facebook live with them on February 11th. So if you guys don't like my Facebook page 1.5 million people do you should check out our Facebook live

or just like it that day if you give a problem with it but check it out because they're awesome and you'll see what I mean. It's at 5 o'clock Pacific standards And that's that same day the 11th it's the low the 11th is our Facebook live where we're gonna like do some intro to flirting and just talking to them Because they're so rad. They're gonna be in town There's a little workshop February 12th and that can all be found on sex with Emily Sex on the comm are social media and somatic institute comm somatic skills. And I picked up on your little brag there that you have 1.5 million followers. Very subtle, but you got it in there. That's a lot of followers.

Didn't pay for any of them. Didn't sleep with it. Well, I'm sure some ex-boyfriends are on there. You know, sometimes I'm like so-and-so like Sid. I'm like, he does like sex with Emily. That's right. I should send him one of my t-shirts. You, my t-shirts.

Yeah, I got one. I know where. No, I actually never got one. You never got one. No. I had sex with Emily and I was just t-shirt. I know. Yeah, I got nowhere. No, I actually never got one. You never got one? I had sex with Emily and all that. I was a t-shirt, I'm sure the way I would love that. She would have enjoyed it.

But we have full t-shirts if you guys want them. So I had an interesting weekend. So after I saw you, you took Stanley, you ripped him from my arms. I did. It's the end of the job. It kind of was like that. I had Emily watch Stanley for three nights, four days.

And when I come get him, I always feel like, like, so few choice. Like, I'm some kind of a stop-o. You remember you was the bad thing when I came out and I was like, holding him on the couch? It is a little uncomfortable for me to have to take him from it. That's okay. I don't think.

You'd bring him back and we dozens of kind of arrangement. Right. I was saying earlier to Madison, I was like, I just wish I could do some kind of doggy share. Like have a ex-husband and we had a dog or something. Like not a kid, but like a dog or something. Or can't they have some kind of doggy share, like have a ex-husband and we had a dog or something, like not a kid, but like a dog or something. Or can't they have some kind of people share cars now? They share homes.

Can't there be like a doggy share? I think they have these things called shelters, where they have a bunch of needy dogs that need to be walked in or adopted. They want you full time. No, go by in the afternoon and walk a few dogs. The office staff here has made it very clear that you don't think it's a good idea.

Because they don't want to watch your dog all the time I get that all the time Okay, what you would have to like pawn your dog off on people sometimes if I can't walk the dog of a busy He'd be cute. She'd be cute. Okay, so this weekend So I saw you that night you ripped Stanley out of my arms right it was okay though because my best friend was coming to visit from San Francisco a dog No, no, she my best friend was coming to visit from San Francisco. A dog? No, no. She doesn't even have a dog, but she's trying to talk me into cats, because she's got cats. But she also has two cats and two kids in a husband.

And it was really. What does that have to do with anything? Nothing. She's got a lot of stuff you don't want. She wants to get cats. True. Except for cats. I don't want cats.

I mean, I like cats. I had cats growing up, but a cat that my mom gave the cat away after six months, which is tragic. My mom was like,, added to the list. Why did she do that? Why did she do that? This was traumatic because she got remarried after my parents had divorced to my stepdad who was evil.

And he had a son that came once a month and was allergic to the cat and said, we can't have a cat. Oh, no. Still a son of that. Give her to the cat. I've got a therapy. You know what? I heard Donald Trump's getting rid of all cats. Heard he's grabbing them all. Do he probably is?

And throwing them out. I have a cat, and I just have to move the cat out of my office because that was its room, and the dogs weren't allowed in there, and the cat will go in there. But the cat didn't like the litter, and sort of peeing all over my really nice mid-century desk. So desk has been playing down, and I have to sand it and refinish it out. The cat to you will fall on fire relegated to the, uh, the laundry room. It's very upsetting. Well, that's where her litter is and her food is.

Did you just peen all over my desk? That's bad. That's really not capy. Is not capy is the worst. I just want to cat. If the devil peed, it would smell like capy. Oh my God. No, it's true. They peen your shoes. They peen your stuff. I'm sorry. That happens to you. But my friend has cats and a husband and dogs and here's a thing kids that don't know dogs But here's a thing so we've been best friends for a long time and I kind of I started planting this seed She's a great mom kids are like you know six and ten and she her husband works a lot She doesn't work anymore, but she hadn't really felt comfortable taking time away for herself There's a lot of women I know like that

So you gotta do it. You gotta do it. But because they take, and even the two of them, I work on them to get away together. But I'm like, listen, just, it'll be great. It's an easy flight. You're in San Francisco. Come down, you'll see, it takes you an hour.

Like, Burbank, Dogland. And I realize that, like, it was so, and I told them, it will be epic. It'll be transformational. I promise you not to oversell it. Right. And it's true. You just see that, like, she came down, and it was so easy, you promise you not to oversell it, but, and it's true, you just see that like she came down and it was so easy, you know, and to take time with a friend

which she has not done before, you realize how important our friendships are and how like it gave her perspective, like time, space, individual, individuality, independence, like stuff she wasn't getting, nothing's wrong with her, like she's great, but like you just get that and it makes her appreciate her family and her kids.

And I think it was her family and her kids. And I think it was good messaging to her kids and see like, oh, mom's got a life and got friends. Right. And she went away. And I just felt like. At the risk of sounding like a hack, it like recharges your battery.

Your batteries. And it makes you more effective in your other roles, I would think. I can tell you, from my own experience as a kid, oldest of four, so I had a very the more adult relationship with my mom. And that was a lot of that entailed that trying to get her to go out. And my dad did not like her going out at all. He was always, you know, trying to control her. And you always like every time she'd have a dinner date with a friend, he'd accuse her of having

a relationship with one of the doctors. She's a nurse. So he's like, you're going off to see one of your doctor friends. Wow. And I remember talking to my mom, I was like, a 12 year old boy saying, fuck dad, go out with your friends, you need to have a life. Yeah, you have to. Oh my God, that's so serious and sad. I'm sorry, you had to do that.

And now, you know, dad's gone, and she actually goes out with friends, and it's great. She loves it, and it charges us. And I know it, because I don't have a husband. And I can tell you this, too, she has regret that she didn't do it sooner, and she has regret that she didn't have relationships

and friends and whatnot when we were growing up. Right, exactly. And I know women are thinking, oh, okay, can't do it sooner and she has regret that she didn't have relationships and friends and and what not when we were growing up Right exactly and I know women are thinking okay. Can't do it all the kids are they need you know your kids will respect you more when you get away You'll respect them or you'll appreciate them appreciate them or yeah, and it was just like I've been talking to all week She's like I feel like I'm high. I feel like I've been like I've a whole new lease in life So she was and we just like literally we did not drive you know I'm gonna hire them you get smoked some week no she's not smoker no we drank a little she like you know it was fun she flirted she walked around She flirted no but like oh she flirted she didn't flared Here's the thing she felt she just felt like a girl again

She felt like we were a kid we're walking around we took this restaurant the major do was like just flirted It just felt right right right woman to be sexy interacting with another what I'm saying I'm just saying it's so important for people to do this. And also this relates to my sex in the news, which is next. So I'm just, this is just a message to women and guys out there too, but I think men tend to put more than women. Probably not. Good to book a trip like this on Valentine's Day though, right?

No, but I'm Valentine's Day. What is good there is a study. This is my sex in the news. So this is the sex in the news. Yeah, ready? Great. Do you need me to prepare you? I'm moving into it because it sort of moves. Right. This is my sex. The news. The sex. The news. Yeah. Ready. Great. To need me to prepare you. I'm ready. I'm moving into it because it sort of moves. Right. It's up to this. It's up to us. Thank you. Why the best sex happens outside of

the bedroom. Now I've always said to people. You're like, you're going to say a relationship. No, right. With partners have sex with other people outside the bedroom. It's true. People like, how do I spice it up? Like my one of my quickest and easiest answers is have sex outside the bedroom. I mean, I could be the kitchen. It could be on the dryer in the laundry room or the washer on this fence. When it's on, yeah, I went to the house.

Spins like, well, vibration, homemade vibrator. I've seen videos. But we talk about, I always talk about hotel sex as the best sex ever. You get dopamine, you get the surge of dopamine, the feel good hormone because it's like different. It's something new. And the novelty of a hotel room is gonna stimulate

the dopamine transmission in the brain, which plays a big role in a rousal and excitement, which is why there is that excitement and that novelty in my sex is better when you do it outside the bedroom. But now there's more evidence that suggests the greatest most orgasmic sex happens outside the bedroom.

There was a new study and they said the best way to keep the spark alive with your partner 56% and have the best sex ever is to go on vacation and to bang it out like a couple of horny goddamn teenagers. Makes sense. And it doesn't even have to be like a big extravagant vacation. It'd be just, you know, up to coast or I say up to coast because we live out here. But like 30 minutes away from your place, you know, get like a not a sleazy motel, but you know a reasonably priced night right and Yeah, it's you're not looking at all this stuff in your bedroom. You're not thinking about all the stuff you got to do

You know, like in the laundry right. Well, you got to bring the kids Well, you did you a little trip. Yeah, he's a newborns. We just yeah, we put it in the other bed He was there, but he wasn't there. Yeah, I know that was yeah, and that was good for you guys probably to get out of the oh Absolutely. Yeah, I've always said when you're, probably to get out of the... Oh, absolutely, yeah. I've always said when you're talking about sex toys too, it's probably smart too. If you're looking for excuse to get a sex toy, if you're going on a short little trip, bring one.

Bring a sex toy, bring the massage oil, bring all that stuff. But if you don't know how to introduce these things to like, I'm speaking from a guys point of view, if you don't know how to introduce some of these things you want to try out on your girlfriend or wife for fiance, you can do it when you guys are on the road because you're kind of in that headspace like you're a little bit outside your life. Right.

You're a little bit different. You're adventurous. Are you trying to say that your mom and I didn't give you a sex toy? No, no, no, I just give this as advice. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's all had to me. Right. Older.

No, I get it. I'm just saying that, no, it's not, but it was good for you guys to get away. And 31% of couples said they've never been on a couple's only holiday. What? No, yeah, I'm with these people. Oh my God, I get it. I'm just saying that it's not but it was good for you guys to get away and 31% of couples said they've never been on a couples only holiday What? No, yeah, oh these people. Oh my god. I know so many and Well, maybe it's because they just got together like a week ago. No, I gotta be honest my friend who's been with her husband 12 years. They don't think the two of them have really gone away either. They just can't afford it. No, they can plenty of I'm telling you they have date night. That's important. What do they do every week? They get like dinner down the street. It doesn't matter, but they hold that very soon. You need those kind of things away Gone away really what not really. I don't know. Maybe they have one. I don't that you know what I didn't even go bark down that tree

Or that tree or whatever you do. I think I've said on the show too But one of the best ways to figure out if if you are compatible too is a road trip, the longer the better. Early on, I love road trips. Yeah, and if you're not enjoying yourself on a road trip with your significant other, it's not going to work out. Right. If you're more like stopping a gas, then to like sit next to it. Like if you just can't wait to get your destination so you're not stuck in the car with

this person anymore, that's time to end the relationship. That's true too. That is true. I love someone to get, I love a good road trip. That's my bucket list for this year. Thank you for allowing me to fill that bucket. You're the bucket list? No, I don't actually, but I think everyone should mine. I feel like I've always got a fluid bucket list, but that's one that I realize I'm missing from my life and that

charges me. I still yeah, we still gotta be a cross country one day cross country one day. Stanley would like a he's been on plenty of road trips with him with us. We took all three of the dogs before we had the kid up to Portland, like a couple of Christmas's ago. We just kind of jumped to the car, didn't know where we were going. No, we didn't have to move back for three days, put enough cat food in the bowl. It's the best thing.

And we just started driving, we didn't know where we were going to go. We ended up in Portland, it was great. And you had a day. We stayed in so many creepy, horrible, like little motels that smelled like Indian spice. See, I did that too, in my twice. Terrifying.

Yeah, Indian spice, it's true. And it's like, even if you have to go to a cheap $50 and I'm not judging I don't care Maybe bring flip flops or something so you don't step on your own sheets bring your own sheets and just it's outside Your camp. I don't care. Okay. It's winter. I love I love to like check her in and then I like I'll go and I'll see the little town You'll be on our first exam and I'll like you know I'll find like a liquor store that can get a six-pack of beer or something and I'll see like we might have breakfast the next morning Then I go home great it's so much fun

So I think with Valentine's Day it's great. It's so much fun. So I think with Valentine's Day, it's not too late to plan or amount to get it. I know the, oh here's the thing. Close. I know they might, I know they might chart, here's the other thing. Well, we'll get to this in a second, but they spike up the prices. You don't have to make Valentine's Day about Valentine's Day. On Valentine's Day, you can still do some things I'm going to get into in a moment.

Valentine's Day to be great. But you could be a gift. You're like next weekend, we're going to go. We're going to get after. But just, it's something to look forward to. Right. And plan some sexy things which we're gonna get into.

Experiences are just as important as actual, like a physical gift. And that gets you out of the loop, it's a loophole so you don't have to do anything actually on Valentine's Day. Other than present your experience that you got. That's true, make a thing and present your love. And so I'm kind of like.

She's the one who fights the crowds and go out to dinner. I agree last time I was out to dinner our Valentine's Day Her family came down when we were living Marin d'Arre and they came out to go to dinner And none of us even realized it was Valentine's Day and we couldn't understand why we couldn't get we just walked at You because you stole the calendars again. Yeah, I think that's my Been it and we realized I work. Oh shit. It's fucking Valentine's Day. That's why I think that's my been it and we realize I work oh shit it's fucking Valentine's Day that's why everything's booked and they just prices I don't know I think it's a maybe I don't even want to say it's a

younger person think it might 20s I remember every friend and we had like this dinner and it mattered and it was like a five or not two or a dollar dinner I don't remember I think maybe once you get married the the anniversary becomes the effect of Valentine's Day it's more

important yeah yeah so but we're gonna have some ideas on this, but we're gonna take a quick break, and we'll be right back. Okay, tight. What? Okay, Valentine's Day. Okay, now we're getting into it, Anderson.

You can, we already talked about how you feel about it, but here's the big news that Madison teased you with yesterday. She's teasing me. A new study found 41% of women dread Valentine's Day. Welcome aboard, ladies. Welcome aboard. But it's not going away. I think it has become kind of a giant cliche that everyone feels the way the young go buy some chocolates. I'm going to go buy some this nest, but cards from a hallmark. I'm gonna go buy some of this nest, but it's cards from the hallmark. But it is a day, it's not going away.

That's our thing about love and romance, and I think it should be about sex. And maybe we're doing it wrong. Like maybe since Valentine's Day is not going away, we have to turn around and make it work for us. So I think we have to make it our own. So don't feel bad about skipping the flowers, even if you're in a committed relationship,

you can break from the typical Valentine's Day traditions and you can even take the pressure off You could talk about it early with your partner if you're having any anxiety now You can be like babeless and Valentine's days coming up Let's be on how do you because you if you're in a new relationship? You might never have had that talk and you might be stressing right now Would I get her we've been together three months six months? There's all these guides online like if you're I'm in that phone I'm I've been together three months, six months. There's all these guides online. Like if you all get a three months. I've been married for almost five years now.

I have no idea what I'm getting her. Okay, okay. I don't know if I'm gonna get her anything. Why don't you talk to her? I might just ignore it and pretend like it never happened. Okay, right. Why don't you talk to her about it? What if you say, listen, it's coming up.

Emily and I were talking about it on the show. And she had a great time. Well, can I give her one of your shirts? Yes, you can give her a toy, dude. Give her a lube. Can I give her one of your shirts? Yes, you can give her a toy, dude. Give her a lube. Go into the closet after. But I feel like you can eliminate the fear from gifts. What, give her a toy for my,

what's that? Oh, your closet, okay. I didn't understand what you were talking about. Go into the closet. I thought you were gonna give her a sex toy and then go into the closet. No, you won the closet at your house. It's not the bedroom.

Yeah, it's true. It's not the bedroom. It's right. So I think it's about expressing and feeling love, and I think it was a part. I think what your partner wants to feel is appreciated and special. Because I started to think about my best valentine say.

And what I thought about was, I told one of you we could go about dating a guy, and I brought all the toys. Like literally, I was like, oh my god, we're going to have a romantic night. And I packed up one of those little travel wheelie suitcases with every toy owned. Right. Because I get so, I'm such a bad packer

Anyway, I'm like we could try the cock ring and then we could try the gag and then we could try the the sports sheets G-Spot link me everything which we didn't but it was I got so excited and then I remember the other one You forgot that you're with a guy. No, I want and then you're everything else is over It's embarrassing. He's like you brought like eight literally 18 toys. I've been charging them all day. It was right. I just am not great with proportions. Yeah, this is my, this is early, right? This is younger days.

Well, now there's just like a few years ago. But younger days, I remember my very most memorable Valentine was when I was in third grade. I remember they made you give everyone everybody Valentine's. And so every guy that's a little peanuts. That was exciting. It had little hearts in there. Yeah. And they would be like like waiting for the one from your crush to see what I was gonna say So what happened to me one day? I should stay right should just stay in elementary school, right? That was should go beyond elementary school, but in third grade

I remember that this guy Chris who I thought was cute this blonde boy with blue eyes I go into my thing. I know I go into my my Valentine's Day stash of cards and there was all little ones right there all three inches and then there was a big one. Oh no. It was like one of those huge hot ones. There's probably like I don't know what is this like you know what he's trying to say right. No now I opened it up and it was like happy Valentine's ending and there was a dollar in there. Oh no. You feel like you hold them at least? Not just because I'm a Jew.

I was like, oh my God, a dollar. He must really like me. That's like a week's worth of pay. I know. But I felt like, why did I love that? That's your favorite Valentine's moment. No, it's my memorable, not favorite. It's for your favorite.

I felt special. I felt like this guy likes me. You didn't give dollars to ever, remember the girl in the class. And I just started thinking about what makes you feel special. He thought about me. He took time out. He ordered a card and he gave me $3.

Third grade. May was fourth grade. Third grade. By moving in fourth grade. Fourth grade. Zell over premature to give me money. Fourth grade. There's a last time a guy gave me money.

PS. No freaking joke. No, it's true. I've never been the like, can you buy me? Can you do this? Can you do this? No, I haven't. Sure people, buy your drinks, which translates to money. True.

I didn't even know drink calls anything. Tell me something. I was like, really? Aren't they free? I thought bars get jammed for free. But I feel like some people do this with gifts. So maybe you find out, like, hey, babe, do you say your wife's name?

You say Julian, right? I'm a show. But like you could say, I've been thinking about it. Whoa, whoa, real-time say, I don't want to dress out show. But like you could say, like I've been thinking about it, like, whoa, whoa, real time, say I don't want to, you know, dress out and get you something that you don't like. So do you want an experience? Would you want to go away? Give her options.

How does this differentiate it from like her birthday or Christmas? You ask her, do you want to something like romantic? Do you want, like I don't want, and she doesn't want to waste money on something or spend the mental energy obsessing about it. So there might be something that she does want. So talk to youring about it. So there might be something that she doesn't want. So talk to your partner about it so you get out of that. But here's some other things. I do and find out what they want if you're in a relationship,

take the pressure off yourself if you're in a new thing, and if you're in anything in a long term thing, it doesn't matter. I've even moved guys, are we doing this Valentine's Day thing? I really don't care. Let's just go out to dinner. Let's just, or not at night, or like, let's order in. To me, the best one is like watching, like before Netflix and two, there was a thing.

I would do that. But I do have a gift guide first. I'm gonna start with. Because if you are still, and these are all unique sexy gifts that I do think that I am picked. But I also after that, I'm telling you what's coming up, I have some other things

on Valentine's Day that you can do on your own. Okay Number one, I love this. It's the unbound box. It's great for singles or it's a subscription box So you know that there's like the birch box for makeup and there's like the bark box and there's gray for healthy snacks So this is a sec right Louis print is essentially a box filled with yummy food and stuff that you have to cook. But, sex toys and products, you can do it every three months, so it's a yearly subscription, you get a four times a year. You get a new box delivered to your door.

It's my very own sex with Emily subscription box. I have to hand pick everything. And so it changes every month, obviously. This is, that's the spot box. And you get a sports sheets G spot link, which is a strap that you actually will guide where you wear during sex that allows you to perfectly target the G spot in a way that you have never before. Sex science.

Do it is like science. The elusive G spot, you get some system Joe, a gope loop. You got to do any math there to figure it out. What? I don't know. No, it's as you can move and steer the body in a way. Yeah, so that's that one. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. The Jimmy Jane iconic ring, it's a cock ring.

Cock ring, it's amazing. It's like you stretch it. You can fit one size fits all. And I just, it can be used as a vibrator and we are doing sex. I've got short. Hand cuff bangles are these gold bangles by Unbound Box. They're so sexy.

They're hand cuff bangles. Oh, like Madonna. She's around to, yeah, like Madonna, but you put one in each hand and they're handcocks. But they're sexy jewelry. And then you get skin condoms, which are the only condoms that I recommend they use. And my book, Cut Sex, Over 200 Things You Could Try Tonight. That's in the first box.

First box, dude, right? And that's a gift that keeps on giving. Yeah, it keeps on giving. You can do that to the next one, come. So why this is a great gift? It's variety. It's a spice of your life and the spice of your sex life. It helps you finally.

It's all high quality toys and products per usual. You find your Lou, but you get a vibrator. It's good whether you're single in a relationship. So click on the Emily's Box banner on my site. Emily's Box, I get it. I think that's great for couples. I get it. Right?

Filthy. I'm so dirty. The next one is Joe all-in-one massage kit Mm-hmm massage kit, you know, you can give a gift massage to anybody like you know your friend or whatever right This is don't hand-writing cards a good for one massage I've done that when I'm lazy and I've never grown I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've I've done it with my wife I've done it with my wife I've done it I've done it with once. I was like two years later because she was stressed. I bought her one, get the office. She was here to let the AM. If you actually get them like that. I thought you'd take a line piece of paper and you fold it. No, I actually need mail to ask. People forget to use them.

So get this thing. You get a mini tea like candle. You get a handheld massager, a guidebook teaching you how to give a massage and you get their massage glide, which is a body-safe Silicon gel and you can find this in the section at Elmi store. That's a great gift your partner. Mystic wand. I love it It's great for again singular couples. I love wand vibrators The mystic wand. It's rechargeable. It's from vibratox It's smaller and more lightweight than the original It's smaller and more lightweight than the original and retardable magic ones.

It's like velvety, curved feel, curved feel, great teas during intercourse or by yourself. Super powerful. Organic. It is. Organic. That's exactly what it is. I couldn't think of the word right now.

Three intensity levels. I love it when I went to all the, you know, I go to these sex trade trade, trade shows. It was the buzz of the show six months ago. Everybody was like, that's the best story. That's the best one. That's the best. And now it's out. It took them a while to get it. Did it get in the ward and go up in a, I think it did. It went in a ward. Flowers were grown at a stage. Because it's been around as a chargeable. Now you can't. It's not the magic one, the mystic one made by the same people, but. Okay. And then another thing is a doggy

style strap. Who doesn't love doggy style sex? Women don't often like it. Yeah. They like it, but not as much as men. Men love it. A lot of women have really, it's uncomfortable. Guys can get off that way. I think men like it too, because they can kind of be with themselves, you know what I mean? Like, to think that's why, and they can fantasize about someone else.

There's a mirror in the room. They can do the Patrick Bateman thing. I think that might be part of it. Dude, well, whatever it is, this is going to make him more pleasure over her, because it's I hate that. I hate the Patrick Bateman thing. I hate that. I hate that. I think that might be part of it. Dude, well, whatever it is, this is going to make him a pleasure over her because it's a padded belt with adjustable straps. It goes across the women's pelvic region while her partner enters from behind, holds the straps for leverage.

So instead of being off-fores, it allows them to be held upright, which relieves those wrists and arms and back strain. You can kind of position it. It just like really is the doggy style stuff that you can position in a way. You looking at my hands, I'm getting really excited. You are. I'm also thinking that you could put on some kind of headpiece

for the lady where she has like roof and mirrors so she can maybe see like over her shoulders so she can kind of watch the guy so that he can't be completely by himself. You know, if she had like some kind of like headgear but I had like mirrors in front of her so she could see over her shoulder. I'm super excited.

I'm super excited. I'm super excited. I'm so she could see over her shoulder. I'm just thinking women are all monitoring their partners. I feel like one that guys don't know from behind. And you might be doing like the Patrick Bateman thing she can she can see that just the Patrick even thing is when he he's looks in the mirror the whole time. And he's gonna sit up to the present right. He is a sociopath. So hopefully your partner and sociopath the other thing is it increases the angles of penetration from 90 degrees to 45 degrees.

Typically we're at a 90-degree angle with this you go 45 degrees which allows for a deeper G-spot penetration that's the only math you will ever hear me use in the show. I was confused by the unbox I'm like three months that means four times a year I was going to ask you is that right? I did not become an accountant for a reason. And also it takes this position which is super popular not pleasurable it's a great gift You can find it at sportcheats.com. It's probably on our website. Here's the last one. We've been through these. So, it's a FT London. FT London.

It's a new, they used to be called Fun Toys. And now they're called FT London. They're a big branding. But whatever it is, I, whatever they call themselves, I love them. They make this G-ring. And they're kind of our new obsession. It's a g-ring. It goes around your finger, and your finger becomes a goddamn vibrator. So a woman can use a man, can use it, you can use it alone with a partner. It's like really cute and adorable, but powerful.

So it's waterproof. You can use it in the shower, the bath, you can put it inside, outside. Like your hand becomes a vibrator. So you can use it while you're massaging or using our clitoris it's a little baby thing but has a lot of power and it's totally unique I've never seen anything like it also available in the sex family store nice so and I've got a full gift guide on my website which you can check out because you still have some days left. What are like sex games you can play with the cheap. I love sex games.

Okay, sex games a thousand sex games by Kapper, K-H-E-P-E-R. They have like different sex games on their website. And I like those sex games. You get little cards, like tooth or dare, that sounds silly, but like, if you guys have never had the sex talk or you've never played, it's sexy. It could be stripped whatever,

stripped sex games or monopoly, one of them called monogamy, but it's monopoly. But it's monogamy, super fun. You go around. I'm like, I'm going to go on ladies. Well, the game is a board game called monopoly. Monopoly, just get something fun. But it's not just, again, I know I just

had a lot of the gifts, but I always think I will maintain this after 12 years of sex with Emily. If you're going to do something and I know a lot of you, but I got a good or a gift, get into something sexy, get him something sexy, spice it up, keep it going, something for the year. You can take little Hershey's kisses and fling them off the end of your penis into her mouth. It's like cornhole, but-

If you have that skill. Yeah, and you can try, it takes a lot of, or maybe the little hearts for Valentine's Day. Right, those little candy hearts. Two more reasons why I hate Valentine's Day. I'm gonna go go with this. I thank you, please, yeah. And because I'm just thinking about this, and it's so cliché to hate Valentine's Day, especially little candy hearts. Two more reasons why I hate Valentine's Day. No cool go-always. Thank you, please. And I'm just thinking about this.

And it's so cliché to hate Valentine's Day. That's how we started this whole. It's real. I really dislike it. And it goes deeper than I realized. Another reason is my first girlfriend, you know, puppy love. I was probably 15, 16 years old. And I thought that it was going to be forever.

And I overdid everything. Because I was that guy. And I remember really overdoing it for Valentine's Day. I was like, all right, take her down to the lake and then I opened the trunk, the car like balloons came out and she had like, I think I bought her a VCR. I said, I went over the top. A VCR?

Yeah, I was way back one. And so you could watch tapes, but now a days it's like, I'm married to the love of my life. She's got my, we have a child together and I'm not going to take her to the lake and open up the fucking trunk with balloons coming out. But I did it for this idiot to, uh, what did you do at the beginning?

You did some romantic things with her. I'm sure another reason why I hate the Valentine's Day. I think it's a liminal. Yeah. No, I didn't do that at the beginning. And she knows that I've hated Valentine's Day since the beginning, Valentine's. But another reason why and I think this is liminal, but I bet it's true to both men and women is, uh, right after Christmas, right after Christmas, the holidays, right?

It's the pain off the credit cards. Yeah. You know, the credit cards, all this and that. And the Christmas motif, the Christmas songs are gone, which some people are happy about, but you know, like the Jolly Santas and the Christmas lights. And all that stuff is now gone, and a lot of places is immediately replaced with Valentine's fucking cupins and the Hordes.

Who's in the day? And so you go to your supermarket the night before, and it's Christmasy, and then you go, and it's all fucking cupid. Who did you think Jordan the day? And so you go to your supermarkets the night before, and it's Christmasy, and then you go, and it's all fucking cupids, and you're like, oh, the holidays are over, and this shit's here, and it wears on you. That pissed me off. That pissed me off.

I couldn't believe how quickly they switched at this year, it's like everything's on sale. Everything Christmas. Everything's always gotta be a motif going on in these places. That's right, it's that nice. There's gotta be a motif and the balance, it's hard, just like you want to replace a great candidate. I don't want to say that.

But you know, like when Howard Stern left, like they knew that whoever they're gonna put Howard Stern's place was going to fail because you don't want to come in after the top dog, right? So you think that that's why it failed? Christmas is the biggest one, and then you replace it with naked babies flying? No! It's confusing. And it's sad too when you see it with naked babies flying. No, it's confusing

and it's sad too when you see it's like all the dead Christmas trees on the street. No, I can't. Okay, but here's the I got one more thing to say about Valentine's Day. Um, this is part two of my Valentine's Day thing. I would pay $100 right now to make it go away forever. I would put it wherever I don't know where I deposit that 100 bucks, but it'd be worth it. 10 gift cards. I know. 100 bucks. I don't have a lot of money. No, I know. But I'm going to talk about for a second. How to love yourself on Valentine's Day. Oh, Jesus.

You could buy yourself a gift card. OK. So listen, you're alone, you're not in a relationship. Maybe you've freaking out and you're not with your partner. I don't know what it is that night. But it's a day about love. So how to love yourself. Here's just a few things that throw out there.

So if you're feeling bummed, you're going through breakup. Maybe it is a holiday that you secretly love to hate, but you love it. You want it, but it doesn't happen because you don't relationship. However you feel. Right. Whatever that means, you understand that. We're talking about the people that don't have any. Yeah.

They don't have anyone. Which is one of the reasons why I don't. Yeah. And I feel bad for people who feel the pressure. Yeah. I don't feel the pressure, but I'm going to do all of these things this night. Ready? I'm doing all five of these. It's how you love yourself on Valentine's Day.

I'm gonna look in the mirror and say, I love myself, I love myself, I love myself a hundred times. Good enough. I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. God damn it. Some people like me. Okay, treat yourself to a gift you've always had your eye on. Think of it like a birthday or anniversary with yourself. Something I always think you should

as well. Right. But you could do something. I don't know. It doesn't have to be a lot of money, but like something that even wanted to do or wanted to be like a mascara. I'm thinking of myself like that expensive mascara and not like the cheap drugstore one. If you're a dude, what do you guys want? I don't know. What do we want? We don't need it. I don't know. Buy yourself. Buy yourself porn by yourself on Valentine's Day. Just do something. My right porn. I don't porn. I yourself porn by yourself on Valentine's Day. Just do something. I'm not. Right porn.

I don't porn. I said take it. Get the meal. If you're like, I can't get that meal because it's expensive. I'm my birthday. Take care of yourself. Self up. I'll ask them King Crablix.

Very expensive, but I love the movie. I love King Crablix exactly. So masturbate. You know, I feel masturbation. I would just find an excuse to tell you to mat. No, don't put that near you inside you or anything. In your ainus or anything. Wow. You know I feel by my expression.

It's a perfect day to do it. Make plans with friends, but only the friends who make you feel good. I think this is also a great time when you're thinking about love and you're like, okay Emily, I'll think about who I really want to be with. I think this is also something I've learned through the years, is that like in my 20s

Probably my 30s. I had like a lot of friends that I would The sheds right like I should see them. I should call them back But they were kind of pains in the ass as you realize like they're always like why didn't you call me? Why you have to shed though? No, you keep the friends out of the real ones There's a reason why you're thinking oh, I should I need to but I haven't yet. It's because if I should go get my oil change, there's not something you want to do. No, no, but it's not that, but the, you shouldn't have sheds. No sheds in your life.

They shouldn't come in your birthday party. I remember you used to say that. That's a good one. No sheds. No sheds, I got them in my mother. Get the sheds. Don't shed me. And don't shed all over yourself.

Yes. I should do this. I should do that. I should listen. So make plans with friends who are like, make you feel good. They're like, oh, it will for sure be a good time if I go out with this person. I'm sorry, but I can't go out with you I'm Valentine's day. I think the wife would be a little bit upset

But I appreciate what your guy. I know what you're getting that I was gonna have was gonna offer it. I was in toss you I'm not a monoshu in your life. You're not a shit. I actually like you. We wouldn't be here I don't hang out Like there's the news I have negative should in fact I like it I have literally a negative should like Like I literally, I won't talk to people, I won't hang out with me. I don't even have it for work anymore.

Like I really just like the people I work with. You do. Does my life is too short? Indulge in some comfort food, whatever that means for you. Don't feel guilty. If you do like the chocolates, go buy them. Wait till midnight, they'll be half off. Massage, special day at home.

Do a manipetti, listen to music, watch bad TV, good TV, good movies, bad movies. That's a good, I bet many pennies are really overbooked on Valentine's Day too, because there's so many probably single ladies saying, you know what, I'm gonna go out and drink my stuff. Yeah, or bring your friends, bring this friend that you like to Valentine's Day.

Or take yourself out for an experience. Another thing I was talking to my mom about, this is very mom-heavy, because she was here for five days and literally just left, is that I feel like I'm not always, there's a lot of things I've been wanting to do in LA, been here for four years, and I just haven't, and done some things, I've just been busy working

on my own, I'm not as motivated, but I have a friend, my friend Anna, you know Anna Davis. She's been really good for me, she's like, we're going to the spa, the Korean spa, but this is going down. I like her a lot. And I'm like, we're going to the spa, the Korean spa. But they start me down. I'm like, oh, I've done that. I've gone downtown to that market. Or I went away to Palm Springs with her.

We are not, you know, we're good friends. But I wouldn't do those things and she pushed me now. They're like part of my life. And I'm just saying, you are not that person. Go with a friend and do something that you've been, like one thing you've been wanting to do. Because now I do these things.

I went to the spa by myself. So that's what you should do on Valentine's Day. And there's also a lot of like single parties that go on. Well, that's the other thing. Is it like, I love the single potluck. I've done that. I have all your single friends meet at a bar. I did that once in San Francisco.

I was not the arranger. I don't, I'm not like usually the coordinator of those things. But I benefited from a party where they ever once I'd invite your single friends and I dated some guy for a year or not there. A year. Look at that. So then the next year on Valentine's Day, you dumped on that day.

I usually break up with them on their birthday. It's not on purpose. I've done that. Actually, that's not true. My friend did that and I took his story. But he did. He waited for his girlfriend's birthday to come up to break up with her because he was disliked her that much.

He spent an extra few weeks. No, he was just sort of a coincidence. That's like you, the spider bite, like we started the show with. I was like, I'm so sorry, it's your birthday, but you're gonna put it off a day or do it the day before you'll have to do it with the gift. You give them a gift too. Here's a parting gift.

Thanks for coming here. A parting gift with the Self-assager. I won't be doing it anymore. Thanks for the memories. Thank you, you thanked me for the memories. I'm out. I don't do it anymore, because I, you know,

now I like know their birthday and I've tried to plan around. Right. It happened a few times. So that's Valentine's Day. Everyone have Valentine's Day. I love you. Just remember today about love.

Okay. Let's do some emails. We're going to do one email. One email. It was Valentine's Day heavy show. It's a Valentine's Day show. That's okay though. But it was also like you guys if your partner's

Birthday comes by one of these things do it talk to them do it. It's all it's for every day, but I know you guys are thinking about Valentine's Day All right, let's do one email. Mm-hmm. Hello. I'm a male from Canada 27 my girlfriend 24. Hello, I I used to listen to your Show on XM radio. I was happy to find your podcast I thought I would try to spice up our sex life hoping to make it more fun for both of us. I bought some lingerie and a small vibe. I figured she would be excited and interested but I got a completely different reaction. She was uncomfortable that I did this. I never really talked her about Toysy for. She said I should have let her pick out. My question is how can I help her understand that I wanted to have more fun and how

I get interested. We normally have sex and be once or twice a month and it is always good, but after good sex I always want more the next day. I want your advice and how I can get her more interesting sex. Thanks a lot. Troy. Troy. So Troy, here's the thing. One woman's offense, like the offensive thing is gonna fender or could be like another woman's delight. I said, take offense like defense, but it won't be like another woman's delight as they say offense like defense. But it like won't be like, oh my God, you got me lingerie and toy. And another one could be like, oh my God,

you know, I feel insecure about that. You might be saying our sex life isn't good, that lingerie would never look good at me. We've never been talked about toys. I'm against them. You need to approach this first. So you have very, very good intentions, Arttoy. I understand what you were trying to do. But that's why you need to

talk about toys before you bring into the bedroom. This goes for men and for women. If you've never talked about it, you got to talk first. It's hard. I know. And we just talked about all these great toys for your partner. But if you get and if you have another talk, don't buy anything yet. I just did a blog for glamour. It's on our website. It's called how to turn your partner on to sex toys. You might want to read that first. But you asked the million dollar question here because it's so common for one partner to want to work on sex by subsex and the other one doesn't. So I'm assuming, Troy, that you haven't talked about your sex life. Wouldn't

you assume you borrowed the toy in the lingerie? Yeah, if it cold-coctor. Yeah. Yeah. Cool-coctor. Yeah. It's a term. I wasn't trying to be like a crass there. If it caught her off guard. You're going to have your film company. Coldcocle. Right. I get it now. It's like warm cockles.

Warm the cockles your heart. It's the cold cockles my heart. It's the cold cockles because they never get warm. Dude, you're such a cold cockle. Yeah. I could totally see that being. You see that? Well, wife Hata named says it sounds crass.

You are. And I'm not. But it's so you. Like if they were like someone's film company is in cold tackle. And I have all my friends. I would say you I feel like yes, at least she didn't kick you out of the house Troy. Right. It could have been worse. But yeah, I guess you got a talk. I don't know, man, I would still roll the dice and hope that I can avoid the talk and hope for the best. That's you though. Yeah, you're an avoidant male avoiding intimacy I would start by saying I'm sorry. I'm hurt by a friend June anyway

Talk after my intention. Well now we have to talk because she's already pissed off about it So my intention was to make you feel good and hands our intimacy connect you can Tori people lose all the time you can blame me. Yes say I listen to this podcast I know the importance of keeping sex alive and growing sexually She might not even know what that means. You know, a lot of couples listen to the show together and it helps them. I get emails all the time. You might want to do that. You can ask her if she's thought about this as she thought about is there something that she has wanted more of in the relationship that's just important to talk about it? You're not disappointed. You're not unhappy.

You love her and you thought it would be a fun surprise. Clearly, it's not your sorry. What would make her feel good? What about this? Yeah, what about this, I gotta think about for the females point of view, you want to make her, make it all about her, right? Cause she's kind of defensive about this. And there only haven't sexed twice a month, he wants it more.

So you can kind of maybe say, I didn't think that I, maybe he's victimizing himself a little bit, I didn't think I was doing it for you. Cause you don't like it that much. We don't do it very often so I was trying to help bring bringing some help to make you like it Even more so that we can maybe do it more often because I love having sex with you so much honey And I didn't think that me by myself was doing enough for you So I was trying to enhance your experience

Which actually might be true. I tried that's actually isn't so bad That's that's kind of putting on him. I think it's important for him to like take some stuff back Serenzy I'm sorry back and I didn't know. And that's making about her though. Yeah, that's a really good point. And a good way. Yeah, in a good way that I know we've sexed twice a month, which to be honest, I think couple should at least,

and then you know I never put numbers on this. There's no normal, but I would say it's healthy to have sex at least once a week. And women should never be threatened by sex toys. That's a guy's place to be threatened by sex toys. right? That's a guys place to be threatened by sex toys. No, but maybe she's never used one, maybe she had bad experience with one. Right.

So maybe it's not about sex toys, but I think you guys, like this divide is just gonna get larger. It's going to grow if you don't continue. So you gotta work on this toy. So I think that's a good way to put it. I feel like maybe there was something else you wanted since we're only having sex two times a month.

Right. This is two times more. Two times one stuff. Maybe you come come on the other side, you're having sex four times a month. Exactly. See what she says. It's not going to all fixes in one day, but I think you start the talk. Yes. And every couple's got to have the sex talk sooner than later is better. All right.

This was great. Anderson, great to see you. Good to see you. And I'll see you soon. And I would want to come on your podcast after disaster soon. I always invite it. Speaking of which, I to see you. Good to see you. And I'll see you soon. And I would want to come on your podcast after disaster soon. I'm always invited. Speaking of which, I'll tell you off of it.

Tell us. But Anna and David invited my carano to a while ago. I don't know if you ever heard the story to be with her when she had to put down one of her dog. Her cat. Her cat? Yes, it was her cat, yes. And the story that the suit was quite.

It's a great story. It's a very, I told that story on the afters I heard that no, I heard the caronnell side so you got to hear the yeah, yeah, oh I want to hear this off air. We got it. Okay, anyway, check out all of Anderson's great podcasts film vault cinematics after disaster and I am hard at work on groupers. I just finished two full days of of auditions. I'm actually finished two full days of additions. I actually cast an actress for my first feature film.

So yeah, talk about that on all those other shows. All right, thanks everyone. Thank you Anderson. Thank you, Anderson. I love it. Thank you Madison. Thank you Eddie. Thank you Lori, Jamie Ken, my amazing team.

Thank you all. Happy Valentine's Day. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email. Feedback at sectionkamily.com.