Sex With Emily - Hotter for the Holidays: A Mash-Up

Episode Date: December 25, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is bringing you a mash-up of holiday proportions – some of our favorite holiday shows wrapped into one for a very sexy time of year!She talks about why being single during the holidays can actually be a great thing, tips on warming up for some hot holiday sex, and some stats about holiday party hookups and sharing the household chores during the winter season. Happy Holidays!Follow Emilly on all social @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show I'm bringing you a mashup of holiday proportions. Some of our favorite holiday shows wrapped into one for a very sexy time of year. Topics include, why being single during the holidays isn't a bad thing at all. Tips are more big up for some hot holiday sex and some stats about holiday party hookups and sharing the household chores during the winter season. All this and more, thanks for listening. They call them in a bag on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh, my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Maui? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm so, so, so, so.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with. I'm excited to be here with my producer, Jamie Jamie and we're going to be talking a whole lot of sex stuff. No. Hello, we're talking holidays. But holidays can be stressful. Stressful time of year. And we know that sex can be a huge stress reliever.

Anxiety, there's so much anxiety and stress. Yet, we often can put sex on the bag burner. We might do that throughout the year and we're stressed, but especially during the holidays. So we want to give you some tips about how to keep it interesting, right? Because as we think, I am so stressed out, sex is the last thing on my mind,

or I'm just so tired, sex is the last thing I mind, or I'm just so hungry, sex is the last thing I mine or I'm just so hungry sex is the last thing I mine. I think a lot of us delay sex. But here's a thing. We forget a lot. First of all how important it is to actually have sex with our partners. We think we'll get back to it, we'll get back to it. But it's so much easier just to maintain. And you might forget this, but once you get started having sex, do you ever really regret it? I don't think I ever have. You never even like, God damn it, why do we just have hot sex?

No, right? Unless that was like, unless you're having issues in that department maybe. True. Unless it wasn't great sex. But I always say it's like going to the gym, like the hardest part is getting out the door and then you don't regret that either. The gym. Getting your shoes on, getting out the door.

So the same thing was sex. So it's about keeping sex top of mind and thinking about it in a more positive way. Not like it's gonna be a burden or a drag or how we gonna find time, but start thinking about sex like we, how you need sex. And this could also go as form masturbation.

I agree, because I'm trying to, I'm like, you know, when you think about sex, like, oh, like, you don't have time for sex, like this is just gonna, like, you know, I'm not feeling it right now. It's not gonna make you feel good, but if you're like, oh, sex, it's great. I just like having it.

I think it's good, even if you don't have it that day, I just feel like it kinda makes you feel better. Yeah, it's true. And yes, and think about the sex you previously had, maybe, or sex that you want to have with your partner. So even if you just think about it this way that if you're like, well, there's no time, the holidays are so crazy, it can be 20 minutes. 20 minutes of sex. How much time are you spending and maybe even wasting on other things like how much time do you spend on social media today? How much time do you spend on holiday shopping?

You could just say, you know what? I'm gonna prioritize sex, put in the schedule, and make sure that it happens. Yeah, just put it in your calendar even. You don't have to call it sex in case you're worried someone's gonna look at it or masturbation, just be like me, time, or us time. Us time, exactly.

Just something, because then you'll think like, you might not realize this over time, but I actually track these kind of things when I don't have sex or even don't have orgasm. I've talked about this, but if I don't masturbate for a while, and I do, I'm like, oh, yeah, orgasm, it's so good. It really does. All that stuff we talk about, how it boosts your,

well, it does boost your immune system orgasm. But it also, the serotonin, like all the feel good feelings you get from an orgasm actually can shift your mood. So even if you just take a deep breath and you pause and you realize, well, wait, sex, I'm not gonna think negatively about sex, or I'm not gonna be stressed out that my part of sex, but you breathe and you're like,

oh, it's not to mess up my schedule. I have time for it. It's important. She's going to remind you guys all the stress. Make some time for the sexiness. And then we've got some tips for you guys for the holidays. Some sex tips for the holidays, when again, it might not be as convenient,

but it's also really cold out. Even here in LA, it's cold today. It's weird when it rains here. It is weird. Cold and like, I don't have a raincoat or an umbrella. I'm ill-prepared. I thought I had a lot of cute winter-type clothes and I realized that I don't.

A lot of cute winter-type clothes. No? Yeah. I mean, it's warm here. Yeah, because it never gets too cold. So it's like, you know me, I only have basically leggings as pants. I have like maybe one pair of jeans that I,

that I wear. I never seen you in jeans. And I just don't like to wear them. Do you have a patting Tim Bear raincoat, like a yellow raincoat? No, but I really don't want this. I just had an image of you want. And it, like I feel like have I seen you

in a yellow raincoat and I don't know why that just popped in my head Paddington bear you know those padding to the Yeah, I was like I think I've seen Jamie one but maybe not no it's my dreams It's so funny because there's a song that's like some techno song that's weird But it's like something like spreading love like a patting tin bear and it's like yeah My least favorite kind of music. It's true, I know. But anyway, music, oh, and then there was a speaking of music.

Interesting sex in the music came out recently about how playing music, we've talked a lot about music during sex, but actually, wasn't there a study that said if you play music during sex, there's just more pleasure, more orgasms, more connection with your partner, because it's another, like, you're less distracted by outside noises and whatever's happening, and it kind of get you in that groove. And it was certain types of music.

Yeah, and then I think too, you both can kind of find, it helps you find a mutual rhythm. Yeah, mutual rhythm from the music. Yeah, which is interesting. Because every time there is music when I'm having sex If it's not techno music, I I feel like it's oh should do that more It's so easy now it playlists and everything you know go put a CD in No, it's true like ever like CD player stuck that doesn't happen anymore Um, okay, so the other thing is just reminiscing music down music lame So some tips for the holidays,

if you are, I think shower sex is fun for the holidays, if you've got relatives staying with you or you're just busy and you guys are well, then we don't have a lot of time, like let's hop in the shower and it's cold out. Yeah, so take a warm shower. Like a really hot shower, keep the steam going, maybe like let it get hot before you get in it.

So there's already a lot of steam. Yeah. Things like that. I think that would be really cool. Me too. We love the sport cheats sex in the shower line. It's essentially makes shower sex exactly what you wanted it to be before you probably had some ill-conceived shower sex sessions because sometimes are ill-executed. So it has to be a shower sex, it's like, not as crazy as we think. But we sex the shower helps you from falling over. Yeah, which is a real thing. People fall over and go to the emergency room.

And you don't want to do that. No, so they have these really cool, the bar that you can put your hands up on comes up the wall easily the vibrating mesh sponge. I think it's one of the most genius inventions It's a mesh sponge with a vibrator on it. Exactly. Just play around with each other while washing each other Killing two birds with one side. Yeah, even just be a mess on in your partner's back Like you don't have to get it all off, but it could be fun. It's a place for you don't have to get it all off, but it could be fun. It's a place for pets and privacy too. Yeah, and I think it's fun because you can't really, like the vibrator hides itself in the sponge.

And even the footrest, it's like, yeah, I use it to shave my legs or with a handle. It's like, I'm lazy. Right, exactly. That's what I'm just hanging on. It doesn't you can't tell what it is, but actually, you put your foot on it, you put your hand up on it, and it's like that brace.

So you don't fall, that's the point of the sex of the shower line, it's brilliant. I think. People aren't gonna be like, what is this sex stuff in your shower, so you're not gonna be able to tell. It's incognito sex stuff in your shower, and she does shave her legs and her little shower bar. So get creative.

I think I left it at my parents' house though, and I, when you moved. Yeah. And then hopefully they're using it, either for sex or shaving. No, that bathroom, but like doesn't get used now. Oh, when you moved. Yeah. And then hopefully they're using it, either for sex or shaving. No, that bathroom, but like doesn't get used now. Oh, it's like just fine. Jamie.

Okay, so then after you get out of the shower, if you choose this adventure, use mishash candles. I've been talking about mishash candles in a while, really, because I don't know why, but I've really been, have a refound love for them. They are cool. You guys if you haven't used them yet It's because I used to have my own massage candles That's why we need to like my own line years ago We need to make a list thing for a while. I would love to make it

But I do love the Jimmy J ones or the Donna massage candles are great You can find these on our website. We do have a new store that you can check out powered by good vibrations, which is My favorite sex place. I have to say, I just grew up there. My mom let me run around now, kidding, but when I used to have a store, I loved it. But you night massage candles, how they work as you light them, if you don't know, you light a candle.

They have amazing sense. You know, you even light it for a little foreplay when you're hanging out with your partner and then you blow it out. And it turns into this really luxurious massage oil. It's not like messy, waxy hot, you don't burn your partner and then you just pour it on them and you give a little sensual massage and that is another thing to do with the stress over the holidays. I mean, what's more relaxing than a massage? I know, I'm thinking I should,

you take a good massage course. I know we've recommend this to a lot of people, like you can take them online now too. Yeah. That is a great thing to do with a partner. Take a massage course or find a masseuse you know and have them come over and teach you. I think sometimes people can be like,

oh, I'm not sure how to do it. It would be weird, but you just need, it's literally one or two strokes. You just don't do it on the spine. Like there's certain things you avoid. And then you just use your hands and you do some kneading. And if it just feels really good. And then the warmth of the oil beneath you, you can just kind of, it's not slippery and you can roll around together in the sheets. I always forget too, because like giving just like a dry massage, like how much, because

it's not bad, it's still fine. Like anytime your partner or someone's dry massage, like how much, because it's not bad, it's still fine, like any time your partner or someone's touching you, like I just, I like that, but I'm like when I use like oil, it feels, it's first of all, it's easier to give the massage. That's the other thing,

you can't really mess up if you have, if you use really good massage oil, yeah, motion, something. So it's easier to give the massage and then it just feels nicer for them. I'm sure. Absolutely. You get like essential oils. Now they've like CBD massage oils. There's a lot you could do with it. So I say even just for a few minutes, we also know that it's it just

relaxing. So if you've been in that relationship and you're just like never in the mood like just give each other 10 minute massages you'll be and just keeps things nice and toasty the massage canals So those are some ways to reduce stress over the holidays But here's some ways you can really get what you want for the holidays. I think it's a perfect time To actually ask for what you want finally To finally get that sex that you want, we've got some great ways to facilitate that. Yeah, why not get a regular gift and a sex gift? I think you should always. I only give sex gifts.

True, it's true. Not to, yeah, to most people I only give. So even my mom, we just send her some love. So yeah, give sex gifts. And so another good thing is we actually are having some fun here. We were like, I really want to give the listeners a look a variety this year of just some gifts that you could Buy some you could make some you could just um and that will also advance your sexual Agenda so great time to do the old sexual bucket list

We're each writing down a few things that you want to try and then you swap it. This is just so you can go into the new year knowing that like we've got a plan in place to prioritize our pleasure. And the bucket list is where you reach right down three things you've been wanting to try. It could be a fantasy. It could be more making out. Spanking. You might even be surprised that like there might be some overlap in your lists.

Yes, that's where you start. You start with the overlap. The holidays coming up, whatever you celebrate, but you might go see the family soon, you probably will. And so I feel like this time of year, it's really kind of known to be a very stressful time for couples. I mean, I know that the holidays will be cheery and happy and warm and all this good stuff,

but let's, right? Interesting. Do you get stressed out or no? Oh, yeah. I mean, everyone does. Do you really? I mean, because I don't, because I, I, I get stressed about the shop and I do a little, but not like you do, because I don't have like, I in laws and stuff.

I get, yeah, I got like, you know, 15, 20 people that it's like, I got instantaneously. I have to think of like what I should get them. Right. It's a pain in the ass. It is a pain. And how do you feel about your in-laws? Hmm. Okay, right.

So it's not easy. They think I'm okay. They must love you. Come on. I'm like the second best, that'll do. What do you mean? Well, they have another son-in-law. They have all daughters.

So, but they have two daughters. They have three daughters. Three daughters. No boys. And then now they have two son-in-law's and I am like a distant second. Why? Because the other guy's handy and he's around all the time and he's already given them two kids and he's from New York and he's like, he's, he's that guy.

He's handy. He like puts in light bulbs and stuff and like fixes. Yeah. Like we did their entire patio and I can't compete with that. Plus I've slipped up instead of few things about the mom in front of everyone at her expense, which you don't do with that family. No, you really don't. You make front of the mom early on

and you could never rescind her. Right, yeah, they still bring that up every time. You mean like the one time when you called our mother stupid? Oh, no, they don't. Yeah, really? But they must love you. You just say that, but they must love that you make their daughter so happy.

Yeah. Okay, how about your own family? Do you see them on all day? Did you just split them up? Yeah, that's it's that's it's own love that you make their daughter so happy. Yeah. Okay. How about your own family? Do you see them on the holidays? Yeah. That's, that's it's own thing. I don't talk about that. Okay.

This is the thing. So okay. So. Got to split them up. Yeah. It's like double a fund. Right. And so it's stressful.

But it's like, I was just thinking about this on the way here because I love coming here during the show and I my brain just goes, I'm like, oh my god. You know, it's interesting to holidays because it's so confusing like everything in life. There's a lot of dualities. There's the joy, you know, the holidays, gifts and presents and family. And I'd say 50% of it, maybe for a lot of people or more, could just be like strats and gifts and family and all the drama that that can bring up. And so things are crazy at work.

And you know, you've struggled, you finally want to find the perfect gifts and all that stuff. So I'm going to give some tips for, you know, striving in-laws and all that stuff. But first, I want to say something that I think is going to go back to. I just can help everybody. And something I've been thinking about a lot too is that like I'm how days do get hard and they can be confusing. And I just want everyone to know this because it's something that I had to deal with with my family. And this is just there's nothing to do as sex at all. But I'm going to get to it. Promise is that your parents did the best they

could raise a guill with the skills that they were provided. So I'm sure they had like whatever they did to you or whatever issues they bring up for you. And I'm not saying everyone could love your parents, but everyone's got issues. They did the best they could. Their parents probably did the same things to them that they do to you or that's how they were raised. They didn't know any better, but they love you to the best of their ability. And your parents are going to change. From never going to change. So every year you're going to continue perhaps to get disappointed or let down by similar things that happen every year. Like, oh God, mom did this again. So the only thing that's going to change for sure and that you know that's going to change is you and your expectations

that you have of what's going to happen over the holidays. So if every year you expect that you know that it's gonna change is you and your expectations that you have of what's gonna happen over the holidays. So, if every year you expect that you're gonna go home and it's gonna be great and your mom's gonna get you the perfect gift and your dad's gonna compliment you and your raise a work and all the great things you're doing and it's really nice to your husband or whatever, it's not gonna happen this year. Am I not, I mean, I hope, you know, people can change, but only if they want to. And so typically people in our lives, unless they go through some all-med up morphases on their own or therapy, they're really gonna be the same. I'm just gonna save you.

A lot of you know this. If you do know the standards, do you accept your parents' help? I think like people when they're younger, they don't think I had to go through this, like a therapy and figure it out and hate my mom and get mad and then talk to her and confront her and let it go.

And really, did you go through this? Yeah, I think usually when you get closer to like your parents' age when they had you, you have a lot more insight as to like what might have been going through their head. Exactly. So this is just a public service announcement, okay? Because I think it's a-

So you're saying get your data fleshed like? No, I'm just being honest to people that I've been thinking about this a lot and talking about this a lot this weekend that your family just, you know, whatever. So try to have good time this holiday season and try to not to be so stressed and love your family and appreciate them and love your partner because appreciation and showing generosity and appreciation are the things that make relationship stronger

and if you get all stressed out and anxious and you stop connecting and you stop having sex because you're worried about your family and what to buy then you're just going to let it supply so let's all pledge to have a really joyous holiday season. So you're saying to have sex in your family and what to buy, then you're just gonna let it supply. So let's all pledge to have a really joyous holiday season. So you're saying to have sex in your family's house? Exactly. Oh, funny. You should say that because we have a sex in the new story about that. Really? Do you have sex in your in-laws house? I don't talk about those things.

Okay. Half of Americans admit to having sex while staying with family over the holidays. It's a poll. Hosting relatives and friends over the holidays, odds are they're getting randy in the guest bedroom. Because according to a poll conducted by online travel site priceloan.com, nearly half 49% of the 1000 US respondents admit to engaging in some sort of holiday nookie.

Beat in the teenage bedroom they grew up in or their aunts fold out couch in the basement. But it's not just holiday house guests that are engaging in our related holiday's fold out couch and the basement. But it's not just Hornie House guests that are engaging in our related to holiday fun. It applies to the hosts. They've meant to be naughty in their boot war while the guests up. And maybe that's why two thirds 68% of Americans say they preferred

that they're out of town guest staying hotels. I want everyone to say I want to say hotels. I don't want to say that anybody ever, ever, like I know I don't even want people to stay with me nor do I want to say that to hell I don't want to say that anybody ever ever like I know I don't even want people to stay with me nor I want to say that I want not even got like seriously if I'm dating someone maybe but Who the hell want it's so much better if you can have your life in your time and you know where adults do agree Anderson You just finished saying enjoy your family accept them and enjoy all day Stay by yourself. No, I'm just saying I just want me and my Mimi in room 134.

Okay, whatever. I understand that you all can't say no tales. I'm just as my personal thing, but if you're staying with your family and you're going to have sex, which you probably will, I'm going to give you some ideas later. I did think you could be rosy over the hall. They just say no tell. I have things that you can, they're actually, if you get Randy in the hotel, it's totally fine. In the Randy and the, with your parents. Plats. There's discrete toys that I'm gonna tell you

that are very quiet that you can use. You should, you should probably recant that Randy at your parents house, not Randy with your parents. Did I say Randy with your parents? You did. Randy with your parents can mean having a good time. Does Randy always mean sex?

It does, I think. The British thing. Okay, whatever. So that's what people do. So you don't know, I've had sex with my mom's house. It was something about going to the in-laws house. Or even your own house, especially if it's like your childhood house.

There's a lot of memories there. A lot of sexual ghosts in that house, you know? But like, parents throw that. My parents, like I actually, I always stay with my parents in Michigan. I'm kidding. Actually, all that rant, because I was just thinking about my stressful and that's of staying with anybody, like, except for

my family, because I actually do love my family, but I've had sex with my mom's house a lot. In recent years, too, I used to hook up with my accent, we'd go and her patio, my mom passes out, she doesn't know. Well, your mom passes out and you have sex with her. I had the best, to do it two years ago, I had the best sex at Thanksgiving, or two years, a few years ago.

This was more than that. With the next boyfriend who was also from my hometown, we had amazing sex. The best sex ever, in fact, every year I get a text when we broke up five years ago on Thanksgiving that we great sex on my parents' patio. And I don't know. Frigid?

It was freezing. It was hot though and cold. I can't explain that. I can't see hot. Are you seeing Meredith kids now? Oh yeah. And he still texts you. No, he's not Meredith kids.

Sorry, no, he has a girlfriend. But yeah, he's like that night Thanksgiving. Yeah, too, they all text me still. Is that bad? Oh yeah, I'm sure they love it. I don't do anything. No, we're friends my birthday. Sorry. No, he has a girlfriend. But yeah, he's like that night. Thanksgiving. Yeah, do they all text me still? Is that bad? Oh, yeah, I'm sure that I don't do anything. No, we're concerned friends with all my exes. It's fine. We give them good memories. You know, that's what I can do. That's what I leave them and they move on. They're better men with better women. I'd love to see what your Christmas card looks like. My Christmas card. You think Christmas card. So your ex-boyfriends was just like photos out of the place. She guys banged. I do actually and I dressed it to them and they're wives. And I'm like, remember that time?

It's all like. Because most people say they like pictures with them and their kids and their regular spouse, but you just send like locations of places that are hot places you banged. Yeah, maybe I should just do a montage of me and all my exes in the places that we went of all the places together in one car. Just the locations with like puddles left behind. Exactly. And to do puddles. To do puddles.

Lou bottles strewn across the floor and no joke that has happened to me. Okay, another thing is men who do housework really clean up in the bedroom. So there've been these studies. This has come out in recent years like women are turned on by housework and people laugh and they're like,

oh, it's really hot if my husband's empty in the dishwasher. But it's really just not about that because couples who I I think, you know, couples who are together, I know that couples are together, they share the dishwashing, vacuuming, other domestic chores. Once considered, women's work have a better and more fulfilling sex life, which is a new study. And it makes sense because relationships are contemporary relationships.

We're all doing everything. We're working, you know, women have working, men are working, and they want equal sharing, and they want your partner to be contributing. So, you know, women who are left with a sole responsibility, cleaning house, doing laundry, that would piss me off, taking care of the kids, and the last thing they want to do is have sex. Guys, come home, they're doing that, you know, I'm saying, so if you're on the same level playing field, you're going to, you know, have more sex. Everyone should, you know, sweep an empty dishwasher in the garbage basket, waste baskets. Do you do that?

Do you guys have chores that you split up? No, I do everything. Come on. I do most of it. Because I'm home during the day and she works during the day. Do you care? No, I do all the heavy lifting. And I always think it's manipulation.

Because she'll like, you know, I'll be taking a trash out of folding the laundry and she'll be like, you're so hot when you do that. No, but it really is hot. She's just manipulating. No. She wants me to hear that hot. She's just manipulating. No. She wants me to hear that. So it's positive reinforcement.

No. No, but then does she have sex with you after that? Gosh, she, whatever. You're not going to answer that. But I'm telling you, when men split the workload, it says women feel less overwhelmed and have a little bit more room in their mind for more sexy activities. And it's hot.

When she's down on her hands and knees plumbing, I can really do that. Have you seen a man in rubber gloves? What? I don't know. With a tool belt. It's hot. No, I'm telling you. So this guy was dating, you know, when I first went to the apartment in LA,

he came over and this is, and this is a true story. He came over and he put together like my dimmer switch and hung stuff up in the bathtub. All this up, and I was told, I was, I was turned it was hot. I was turned, it was hot. I was like, you know how to do that. I could sound like such a chick thing because I can't do anything.

Like that, I have other skills, but it was hot and then we had great sex. I appreciated it. See, you're describing my brother-in-law. I can't compete with that. He comes over to that. Can you cook? Can you edit them?

What can you edit them a video, family video or something? I did, actually, for their first daughter's wedding. I did the whole thing. Yeah, so what they must have loved that You're great editor. It's that was okay. They're too busy laughing at his jokes to even notice that I think my push But I hate this guy can't we bring him down this year? He's like total in New Yorker guy. Yeah, like New York. What do you mean? But there's so many things that means he's from Long Island He's like a real dude. No, he's Italian. Oh Italian. He's an Italian George. It stands. mean, but there's so many things that that means he's from Long Island. He's like a real dude. No, he's Italian. Oh, Italian. He's like an Italian Georgia.

Stan's. Okay. But he's a good, he's a good tier. The good, the, the daughter. Yeah, he treats her well. Okay. So the thing is hop out over the holidays. And again, the holidays are just, there's so much about stress.

And I just feel like we need to do everything we can to make it. Cause you know, this is the season that like puts a lot of, like, did you ever fight with your partner? I mean, I know a lot. I've broken up with boyfriends. There like puts a lot like a duvet fight with your partner. I mean I know I've broken up a boyfriend. There's just a lot of stress that goes on a cable fight. So I'm going to tell you how you survive the in-laws first is use active listening skills. Listen to what they're saying.

Don't insult your in-laws like Anderson does. Listen carefully. What? One time it's all it takes. It's all takes. They never forget. Okay, so here's the thing. I think bring them a bottle of wine too right off the bat right? Get them licked up. Get them a really nice bottle of wine. Do you bring them stuff that they drinkers? They have a few. I always show up with booze because I try. I want to get them a little bit

sauce so that they're easier to deal with. See that's what everyone does over the holidays. So do you think that's why everyone's having that was gonna say that the article early the new story everyone's having sex Because everyone's drunk and you're more like that of sucks There are a lot of babies in September a lot of births. Yeah, it's true That's why I'm working in the nursery and it goes crazy in September. No, it's absolutely true Virgo's anal child what anal anal attentive you know if you're a Virgo. And anal child. No, no, no, no. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. The thing with the holiday exam is like, they're either a hundred miles an hour or it's nice when you're actually sitting around doing nothing because people have time off too. So when you can actually enjoy the Christmas tree or whatever, you know, the decorations you got in the fireplace, enjoy it.

Enjoy those little moments. But everything else is like a hundred miles an hour because you have to do everything double speed and get everyone something to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things.

I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things.

I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. I like to do a lot of things. So like if you guys look at your calendar and you guys are really busy, like try to plan evenings where you're, you know, you're not shopping, you're not doing things and you're like, let's watch holiday movies or whatever it is that used to make you love the holidays,

like go back to when you were a child and you think about what made you happy. You know, maybe it's watching Chris's movies or watching, you know, porn. I don't know. Have a night where you guys can help each other relax. So give you to other misogies, like make it, like try to, if you could could ever do it any other time of year this is the time because it will keep you connected. Alright guys we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. So okay holiday parties this is a study that came out. According to a national survey 24% of Americans have taken the opportunity of a holiday party to hook up. Either during or immediately afterward to the co-worker.

42% being guys, 27% being ladies between the ages of 18 and 34. In fact, the top three festivities for holiday hook ups can be attributed to New Year's, Christmas, and workplace parties respectively. So if you are playing to seduce that guy from the sound department, graphic design, whatever, here's how you do it. Here's where people do it. The copy room, 10% of people do it in the copy room. I guess it's good, you have a door, that's the pro, even if it doesn't lock, you can put some obstacles in front of it. Get some pictures. Get some pictures. Exactly. The cons, thanks to the movies all the time, you always think about having sex in the copy room, people are going to know that you're probably in there. But the best sex position for there is definitely standing up, or the lady sitting

telling proud on the copy machine for photo memories of her ass. The other place people do it, 10%, the boss is desk. Pros, well, who hasn't hated their boss enough to want to have sex on the desk? With some mad passion it love making. To watch their boss eat lunch there two days later, that seems kind of gross to me. And that seems risky. You're going to get fired if you sleep on the boss's desk. If he catches you, it's a big thing. Just sleep, just fuck, on the desk. Okay, and also the mail room, 16% of people do in the mail room, and the conference room,

18% of people, which I can understand the conference room. That seems a little more benign. A lot of room on that table. Lots of room on the table. So they do that, but I would just say be careful having sex with someone who's sleeping. Oh, taking a colleague home, 74% of people take it outside the party into their house. That seems to be the safest way, but just remember, you know, I'm not going to tell you what to do, you should or should not sleep with for someone you work with, but just remember Monday morning,

they're gonna be at the office and so are you, probably for the rest of the year. And so be careful, make sure you really like them and touch the liquid courage, okay? Can I just say that I wish I didn't say fuck? It was very crass and crude and uncalled for an hypothesis. Okay, why? Cause I don't swear a lot on the show.

Okay, I said don't sleep on the glasses desk. Just fuck on it and that was rude. Should've said just bang. It was rude, no it's okay. Bang. People understand, but I try not to, you know, I guess being on the radio with us first trained, I just try not to swear very much,

but sometimes it's appropriate. In my regular life, I swear way too much, but on the air I don't. But here's something if you are single for the holidays, let's just be honest. You might feel a little bummed. You might feel like it's a raw deal. Like, you know, TV commercials and songs in the radio,

movies on like basic cable, they're all dedicated to family and celebrating with a significant other. But, you know, if you, oh, and then, if you're single, you gotta go home and they're like, why are you still single? Don't you want to meet anyone? What happened to what's his face?

What's her face? When you guys seem really happy, you're not getting any younger. All that stuff can make you feel really, really awkward. And like, you don't want to see someone's, you know, honestly, if I see another picture of someone's like, baby, wrapped in your like Christmas lights, really, on Facebook, I don't want to see that. But don't get all grinchy. Here's some positives. Here's some positives. And we're gonna taste in parks. We're gonna tell you some things to do. Office Christmas parties. First of all, you only have to're gonna tell you some parks. We're gonna tell you some things to do. Office Christmas parties.

First of all, you only have to go to one, not two. You're free to sleep with whoever you want, coworker, like we just talked about. And I love going to parties alone. Like I hate going to my, like I'm not hate. If I'm really in love with someone, I go to your party, but it's kind of fun just to go to holiday parties alone and be by yourself.

You also, you know, Christmas day plans. Coordinating with someone's other family, like Anderson was saying, like you gotta go through, we talked about this before, like you're in-laws, you gotta go back and forth and you gotta like see the parents, you can't stand or whatever. This time you can make the holidays all about you. You don't have to split the time with other families.

You've more time to actually hang out with your chosen family, which might be your friends, or your own family, but you don't gotta deal with all that other stuff. And presents, oh my God, I hate shopping for a boyfriend. It's the worst. family, which might be your friends or your own family, but you don't got to deal with all that other stuff. And presence, oh my god, I hate shopping for a boyfriend. It's the worst. It's like what I got, I'm messing over, then you're stressing me.

Honestly, the holidays are just to be about joy and love and happiness and celebrating. And really, when you have a partner, it can be super stressful. So those are some perks. Okay, so let's talk to Annie Daly. She's a freelance reporter. We met first. She was working at Cosmo for three years, so she knows a lot about sex and relationships.

And she also, like I said, writes for like time out in New York. She writes for self magazine. She writes for New York Post. I mean, she writes for everybody. She's a great writer. She talks a lot about like what's going on with dating and relationship and all the trends. And we're gonna give her, we're gonna talk to her right now.

So we're gonna get on the phone. Hi. Hey Annie, what's up? Annie, I was telling you that and I told everyone who you are is that your episode you were on probably when was that when were you here? It was one of the most popular episodes this year. I was here in August. In August?

It was so long ago at this point. I know. I can't believe it and it was a great episode. So I'm so happy that you're back with us tonight. And I have some questions for you. I am so happy to. I know, I love it. And where can they find you?

Let's give out your where people can find you and follow you and all that. Your website, Twitter. Yeah, so you can find me. My website is AnnieDaily.com, which is an NIE, D-A-L-I-D-A-L-I.com. And my Instagram and my Twitter are the same. And it's at AnnieMDaily, and then an NIEMDailyDaily. Awesome.

Okay, and we'll have the cell on our website as well. Okay, and I've got some questions for you because we always talk about trends and dating and stuff like that. Have you heard of almost boyfriends or almost relationships and almost boyfriends? Oh my gosh, totally. First of all, I love the word almost. Right. In general, I feel like the word almost is one of the defining words of our time. Just because we have so many opportunities to do everything that everybody almost finishes

things and almost has relationships and almost almost because there's so many choices and you end up going in so many different directions that you don't see that many things through the completion anymore. Exactly. Everyone's got like ADD, right? And so there's this thing. Exactly. Yeah. It's like the almost boyfriend thing is a trend. When I was interviewed by Elite Daily, actually, and I'm like, well, do you mean friends with benefits? And they're like, this is a little different. So their definition was like,

in between actual full-time boyfriend and one night stand, there was this limbo of almost boyfriend's in which we all have the makings of a long-term relationship, and it's which has all the makings of a long-term relationship, but we never get to the next level. And that's the biggest problem.

It's the endless cycle of almost boyfriends which won't turn into anything of substance and certainly won't turn into husbands. So why do you think this is happening so much? More recently than ever. So, okay, it's so funny. I used to be the queen of almost boyfriends, honestly. I would actually joke about them, my parents,

and my grandparents as well at family functions, you know, because they would be like, so how's your dating life? And I would just say, oh, you know, failed with almost boyfriend, because I think honestly the reason for it is the plethora of choice. Again, it really does come down to online dating and social media. And when there are so many options out there, people always think that whatever they have, there could be something better. And so when you have someone who is really, really great on paper and in person, then people are just less likely to lock it down and tie it down because there's always just the glimmer of hope that something could be better, something

that they don't even know. And so it just makes people less willing to commit and to lock it down and say, yes, you are my boyfriend because someone just liked your boyfriend. Yeah, I'm kind of harder to break up. Exactly. It is. You're an almost boyfriend. If you never really feel the deal, then it's easier to end it. Right.

And then you never get to any point of any kind of commitment. And it's the cycle. And eventually you hope you mature to the point of, I'm going to meet someone and I'm going to want to. But no one's seeing the models of this anymore. They're not seeing none of their friends. Their friends all have almost boyfriends or almost girlfriend, so it's not even like

it's the thing to do is to be in a relationship. It's like you have three people you're assuming. I just don't think, and I think that people also, you know, that they, that neither men or women want to step up. So I think a lot of times women might go along with it or guys because they're like, well, that's what he wants. So that's what she wants.

And so they just think, you know, either afraid to say it because they that's what she wants. And so they just think, either afraid to say it because they don't want to be rejected. And so everyone's just kind of going along with it. You know, I think that though dating around is so exhausting, like after a while, you just think you'd be wiped out. And you're like, okay, I'll take you, you know, let's just commit.

But it is a trend and I don't know what to do about it because I think that. Yeah, it's distracting. It's just funny that you mentioned that too because I think that a lot of people do that, especially around this time around the holidays. I wrote a story for Cobb Moba this last year about the, we coined it, the holiday boyfriend, which is basically this phenomenon where everybody just wants to have a boyfriend character in their life during

the holiday regardless of whether or not they actually like someone. So they end up settling for like lame guys because it's better than it's easier to go through the holidays with somebody. Right. If it's not somebody that you even like. Right. Because you want to like have someone to kiss on New Year's or whatever, and then you dump them on January 1st.

I don't know. But you're right. People get really lonely over the holidays. So I was going to actually just talking about some of the perks of being single over the holidays. But I think you're absolutely right that this is the season people don't want to be on. Yeah, I remember the experts, there are some relationship therapists that I spoke with called it mistletoe syndrome.

They called it the what? Say that again? If you look around, you see all of the romance and the cheesy ads and the movies and everything, and it's just, even if you're super smart and you understand that you're being somewhat manipulated by culture and society, you still fall for it anyway. What did you call it? I missed it. What did you say it was called the what the

uh... missl to syndrome missl to syndrome you're like oh my god there's gonna be a lot of that is such a great one that is so true i mean i'm so true i know really strike home i i i feel like it's a relief not having someone to buy for and to go see their families and i think that there's some pros to it, but I get it. The holidays are a sentimental time and you don't want to be alone.

So, you know, I get it. Now, what do you think are the pros and the cons of all this casual dating? During the holiday? Just yeah, or anytime? Or anytime. Okay. Wow, that's a fun question. A loaded one, too.

I would say the biggest pro of casual dating in general is that it gives you a better idea of what you want down the line, as long as you go into it not expecting to have each person that you date be like you're everything. So, if you have a healthy mentality about it and you know that you're actually just dating around, then it's really fun. have a healthy mentality about it and you know that you're actually just fading around. And it's really fun because first of all, you get to know what it is that you want and you don't want second. You get to just hang out with a lot of interesting people. It's almost like a lesson in psychology because, and also just a lesson in various careers that you can have in the city that you're in

because you learn about everyone's jobs and you see how different people live their life. It's fascinating. No, it's true. And you never know too, they might have a friend. Yeah, they might have a friend that you like. Like, I had a guy that was, yeah, recently we were going, we went out a few times and he was into me. And I wasn't really, like I made it clear,

I'm like, I'm not really into you. And I thought, like, God, this is gonna be weird and we won't be friends. And three days later, he called me. He's like, I have someone I wanna fix you up with. It was so nice. It was such a nice way to like, now, this is going to be weird and we won't be friends. And three days later, he called me. He's like, I have someone I want to fix you up with. It was so nice. It was such a nice way to like, now we're friends. I'm like, listen, I'm a great-wing girl.

I can hook you up and he like, introduced me to someone. And I thought that was really nice. I didn't like the guy. But still, it was a good effort. You know, yeah, I think it's a good effort. And that's also so nice on his part to just be mature and things normally as opposed to locating you out or ghosting you or just doing something immature like that or breaking up over cacks or so many other lame ways.

So many lame ways, the slow fade. I thought so too. I mean the slow fade is just horrible. Why do they got you know so well he's so then what are the cons you think? The casual dating. The casual dating? Yeah, besides getting herpes, that's a good protection. The biggest con is that you just don't get the experience of having someone truly, truly care for you. And that in and of itself is an amazing experience that everybody should get to experience at some point. So that will've missed. Also I think maybe you can become a little gated and a little cute, hard and

like not willing to accept when love does come your way. If you've dated casually for so long that you've almost like put up a wall where you're kind of lying to yourself and telling yourself that you don't need anyone because you've just become so accustomed to not needing anyone. That it can be harder to let your guard down when you eventually do find someone that you really like. Right, no, I think you're right. You don't recognize the signs. I'm just going to be fine and I can think of. Yeah, because you're mostly like, you get into a pattern of this is what I do.

And so you don't even know how to take it. If you like someone you don't even know. Totally. And you're patterned as this is what I do. And so you don't even know how to take it. If you like someone, you don't even know. Totally. You're pattern of this is what I do. This is how I do. Right. I don't even know. I don't call them right away.

You know, you play games. You're protecting yourself. It's totally. Yeah, it's normal, but then you never get. So, so I know you've been. We can advise by totally understandable. It's just going to get dangerous if it goes on for too long, or if you're not self-aware enough to realize that you're doing it.

Right. And there are people out there, once you get to the point and you're like, I'm down with this, you can find someone who does want to be in a relationship as well, so you don't have to keep going down this road. So, okay. So, Annie, I also know that you've been in a long distance relationship. I think we're going to have to go. Wait, I can't.

Oh, I can't hear you again. I don't know why this keeps. I don't either. Okay, Annie, we're going to just have you back on when we get the phones working out better. Okay. Oh my god, you're awesome, Annie. I love you. I love talking to you.

Happy holidays, and I will talk to you very soon. Thanks for calling. Okay. Bye, you. Happy holidays, and I will talk to you very soon. Thanks for calling in. OK. Bye, sweetie. That was Annie Daily. Thanks. You can find her. It's all the information to be on my website

during this podcast. OK. So single, that was interesting though. Almost boyfriend. I think it's really true that people just aren't. I mean, I had boyfriend's in college. I always had one every year. I didn't do the casual thing.

But sometimes I think I should have done. Now I'm doing it. I do it kind of backwards. Here is a thing, when you are single, here's some tips for surviving if you're single. Anyone say surviving. If you're single, forget and embrace it over the holidays, because I know you get bummed out,

you're single, you know, maybe you're with your family, you're not with your family, they can both bum you out, and it can be emotional. So, here's some tips to have you make it work. Do something that's non-traditional. Do something that's like outside your box. So, with all the holiday hype, you might feel like, you know, you have to survive, like I said, rather than enjoy them.

But, you know, watch a movie you've been wanting to watch. Take a modification in your hometown, like go to a museum, go ice skating. You know, go see those friends you never give a see, who are there. Take a modification in your hometown, like go to museum, go ice skating. You know, go see those friends you never get to see. You are there. Take some time for yourself. Like what's on your to-do bucket list that you've been like, oh God,

I never get to go there. Also, it is a great time to meet new people. Ask your friends. Say, hey, you and your holiday parties invite me when they go out to their co-workers. The best way to meet people, I think. And it's actually true study show besides online where a lot of people are meeting is through friends, friends

of friends, their co-workers. Everyone's going for drinks right now. So it's a great untapp resource, you know, to be, you know, to go out with people who are working or also through your friends who have who are in a relationship. You know, people in relationships always want you to get in a relationship. All my married friends are like, oh, when are you getting married? So, you know, why not go out with them and meet some of their single friends to let everyone you know that you're in a single. Let's say, oh, let's do something. People love, include being inclusive over the holidays.

So, don't be shy and don't think no one wants you around. I know that when I've let people know that I'm here, they're like, oh, come, come with us, come to, you know, I'm sure you've got people like that in your life. And so, this way, you can just go out, you're on your own, you have to worry about everyone, you know, boyfriend or girlfriend, and you can actually meet other people, through friends that you trust. It's also a good time that you can reconnect with old people, not like old old people, but old people that you don't see that often. You know, your friends, like they might

buy a great home for the holidays, but people are also around. Or people in relationships, you think, oh, I never get the same because they're married again, you should like catch up with them, say I want to hang out. It's also retouch a family member. Just give them a call, the people that you don't often talk to, like you're like crazy aunt and Chicago, that you love, that you never, you know,

make time to like connect, it feels really good. You never have time during the year to just pick up the phone so you can reconnect with those people. And you can also host a party at your house. I know you think everyone's busy and doing stuff, but there are so many people who just don't have their families around and don't have things going on. Have a potlock, you don't even have to go crazy and go make all the food. Have people come over, go to people's houses, just get together, can I bring your friends

sure? I know when I've been alone for the holidays or new years or whatever it is, I always meet the best people because I like flying solo. That's me, I know a lot of people don't. I actually prefer it. Anderson, why you smiling at me?

Is that weird? You like flying solo? That's very strange. I'm being sarcastic. It has another meaning, right? What do you mean? I don't know, doesn't it? Like flying, I don't know.

Yeah, I do. I really... You're alone wolf. I'm losing alone wolf. I've always been that way though. No one can... He... he... he... trapper. He can't trap me. No one can hold her down. That's me in. I know you know how many guys I've dated there? Like, I just wish I could put you in my pocket. Like, they love that I'm stir-free spirit

and then I'm so independent. And then a few months in there, like, I wish I could just put you in my pocket. I wish I could just... Yeah, that's... You're kind of bragging here. Uh... What? Do you think there's a guy out there? Do you think there's a guy out there that could capture you? I sure, I capture me. You're like a butterfly. I'm very elusive butterfly. You know, I'm open.

I'm open to me. No, no, no, honestly, do you think there's a dude out there that if he walked up, it might work. Do you think there's one out there? Yes, sure, absolutely. Forever. What are you forever? What the fuck does forever me? Sure, I'm open absolutely. I have not that you're just saying you're you're a loo doing question

No, I think I absolutely I think there's someone out there that I could meet and I could say yeah, I'd done put a fork in it I want that for you. I hope that happens for you. Why? I don't know. No, I think my mom does too. I don't like the idea of 70-year-old Emily, you know, with the loose vagina. 70, I think it's seven. Now 70-year-old loose vagina at the gym. Who with Madison? Oh my God. Yeah. No, I think that I'm, you know, I mean, a lot of nice guys. We'll see what happens. I don't trip on that. You know why? Because I just think there's so much to life and finding someone is great.

And when you're obsessive about it and I have to find the one, the one, the one, and you're not gonna find them that way either. Plus the show itself are badly. It's like you fell in love and you're always like with some dude watching movies and eating popcorn on the couch. Just show it becomes very dull.

I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it with the crazy dudes I'm dating, right? You're right. It's true. I can never be in a relationship. I have sex though, PS crazy dudes I'm dating right you're right. It's true. I can never be in a relationship I have sex though. P.S. but I'm well aware. I do think there is there there could be someone great and I can't wait to tell you about it I will wait does it count just this sex with toys count the sex no it does not it counts I'm the last time you had sex with an uncut man uncut man on circumcised right

I would say about two two and a half years ago. You like it? Yeah, I do. Yeah, I mean, I'm telling you on circumcised penis. We're gonna talk about it like in an episode coming up right? Yeah, you can't. It's not so, I'm telling you. It's actually, I like it because I feel like

it's super sensitive. Less work for you. Less work. And you might not have seen one before, but when you do, it's super sensitive. Let's work for you. Let's work. And you might not have seen one before, but when you do, it's like nothing. You just, whatever, I did a whole shanty. Antieter. No, they're fine.

When I, I don't discriminate against penises. So long as there's a penis ready, willing to go, that I'm into, I'm down. If you like the show, which I hope you do, seems like you do, well then just rate us five stars. We love it when you do that on iTunes or wherever you listen and also subscribing. Just really helps to keep bringing you quality content and making the shows that we love bringing you. If there's any topics you want to hear more about, you can email me, feedback at sexwithamlee.com

and finally, happy holidays to everybody. Happy Christmas Eve. Have a wonderful holiday everybody. I appreciate you all so excited to be heading into our 15th year and to be honest, none of this, none of this would happen without you guys listening, supporting the show, sharing with a friend, emailing me and telling me, me and my staff,

like how the show's helped you. And asking your questions. It's all, we're all in this together, right? That's how we're going to all have better sex and relationships in the new year. So thank you and thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Alisa, producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. .com.