Sex With Emily - How To Ask For What You Want in Bed: Fantasy Edition

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

In this live episode of Sex With Emily, I’m diving into the truth about fantasies… why we have them, why so many of us are afraid to share them, and how to talk about them with a partner without pressure or shame. I break down what fantasies actually are (and what they’re not), why silence in relationships often comes from self-protection rather than secrecy, and how to create space for honest, judgment-free conversations about sex. I also take live questions from a caller who’s navigating dating transparency, emotional boundaries, and how to communicate clearly without rushing intimacy. This episode originally aired as a live stream, and I’m so excited to bring it to you as a podcast- real talk, real questions, and practical tools to help you feel more connected, confident, and open in your sex life. ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex. CONNECT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! Chapters: 00:00 Fantasies Are Not What You Think 01:16 How To Talk About Fantasies Without Pressure 02:45 Creating A No Judgment Space 04:33 What A Fantasy Actually Is 05:54 The Fear Of Talking About Sex 07:05 Why We Stay Quiet About What We Want 08:09 Different Areas of Fantasies 10:23 What We’re Really Craving 11:20 How To Bring It Up Without Making It Awkward 12:38 Desire, Control, & Trying New Things 16:47 When Two People Are Moving At Different Speeds 18:10 Getting To Know Your Own Desire First 20:54 Caller: Dating Honestly Without Overthinking It 23:49 How To Ask “What Are We?” In A Natural Way 26:55 Being Honest Without Putting Pressure 29:47 Timing Sex & How to Know When It Feels Right Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your fantasies are probably not what you think. How to talk about fantasies if you're in a relationship, or we're just dating, without pressure or without fear. The core question here is, how do I invite honesty without pressure? But I want to remind you that sometimes we have fantasies that we don't even want to happen. There's a lot of people who don't even have fantasies.

It's also the way our minds work. We have a fear of being judged. If I tell you my fantasy, you are going to judge me. Most important thing is that right now we're talking about, why don't we ask for what we want? How do we get our partners to talk more openly about sex? And like, what is really going on here? Hi, everyone.

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Montreal, Massachusetts, Illinois. Los Angeles, Texas. Guys, we are all here to talk about it tonight. That's what's up. North Carolina, New Hampshire. Aw, you guys, thanks for joining me. You know what? It happened today. Vegas. Today, we released our first Sex with Emily podcast that was actually taken from the live. So it was the podcast of the live show. And if you guys have ever been tuning in and you're like, oh, I missed the half of it or what she was saying, now the podcast that you can listen to or watch it on YouTube or the entire audio wherever you listen to podcast. So it's same sex with Emily that you've been, same feed you've been listening to. Maybe you've been listening for 20 years. I don't know who's been listening for 20 years, but that's how long I'm doing it.

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Okay, so you guys want to know what the topic is today. Well, here's the deal. I'm going to get into it because this is what we got. So I got this. I want to talk about fantasies. I want to talk about how we know what we want and how to talk about it. So how to talk about fantasies if you're in a relationship or just dating without pressure or without fear. And your fantasies are probably not what you think.

So people think fantasy of this elaborate, elaborate like scenario in your head for Some people, like, I just have a fantasy of, like, you know, walking into a room where all my needs are met. Like, all the senses are playing. There's, like, candles lit. It's a really beautiful environment. And my partner says really sweet things to me, you know? Some people want a red room of paint in a dungeon and want to be spanked. And some people want threesomes and all the things.

There's lots of different kinds of fantasies. But this is why I'm bringing this up. Okay, so I had a listener who left me a voicemail over the weekend. And it got me thinking about you guys, and I wanted to talk to you about this. So basically he said he's been with his girl for 13 years and she's so sexy. Don't get me wrong. I love her. You guys are always like, I love my partner.

Don't worry. I know you do. If you didn't really love your partner, you probably wouldn't be reaching out to me. He said he's the kinky one, the one that wants to try new stuff. She seems pretty shy about it, which is fine. But I've always wanted to know, like, does she have fantasies? How can I get that out of her? What does she want?

You know, every time I ask her, she doesn't say. She says, everything's good. And I won't be offended, he said, if she wants to have a threesome or has some, like, wild fantasies. But not, he's like, not that I want that, but I want her to be able to tell me what she's actually into. She's not going to offend me. So I want to get advice. And how do I find out, like, how do I have this conversation with her? And so what it made me think about was that, so basically, basically, it did some.

He loves his relationship. 13 years, he's been in this long-term relationship, loves his partner, loves their sex life. Feels like he's kinkier. Wonders if his partner's fantasies or maybe she's holding back. She's like, I really have this fantasy and I don't want to tell you about it. And that she's just protecting him from it. So the core question here is, how do I invite honesty without pressure? So what it made me think of is this.

He's making these assumptions, which I understand, that, wow, maybe maybe she's got this fantasy. He's like, because I'm pretty kinky, and she's not telling me because she's afraid she's going to offend me or it's way too out there and she's nervous to tell me. But the first thing I thought, and what I've heard is maybe she just, A, doesn't actually have fantasies. So I want to clarify that there's a lot of people who don't even have fantasies. They're literally not even just, it's also the way our minds work.

Like she might just be somebody who just is like, I just want a nice guy who I feel safe with. And she's not having all these elaborate fantasies. I remember when I was in grad school, we had to do exercises where we all had to explain our fantasies, right? And there was this one woman in class who was like, okay, I picture myself being like, I'm in the ground. She had this elaborate fantasy. It was like a 10-minute-long fantasy. Like I born into the earth and then I come out like Venus and there's like limbs all over me and ivy and flowers. She was kind of describing like the Garden of Eden, and then all these people surround her,

and she gets into some orgy, and it was like very, like the colors and the temperature and the fabrics, and it was all very specific. And some people were like, yeah, I just want to be told what to do, or I want to be spanked every once in a while, or I just want someone to like softly kiss me for a long time. Like, that would actually really be hot if someone teased me a little bit and only kissed me and maybe didn't do the other things. So fantasies come in all ranges in shapes and sizes. And so what I thought about was, yeah, maybe she just doesn't know.

Maybe she doesn't know. But I also thought that, you know, she might just be saying, everything's fine. That could also be a safety response. Like, I don't really want to talk about this or I don't know how to talk about it because I've never been in a relationship where I felt safe talking about it. So her silence doesn't mean like, you know, deception or she's deceiving and we're holding back. A lot of times our silence in relationship, is just self-protection.

We're literally protecting ourselves from feeling like, you know, we have a prediction that what we're going to feel is very uncomfortable or shameful, right? Or taboo. So a lot of the reasons why anyone else can relate to that and if you can, can you just say here, like, fantasy, if anybody,

what are you going to tell people to say? Yeah, comment fantasy, if you guys can relate to this. And you can also send me your questions, you guys, at any time. Please. So, yeah. Okay, so fear of being, so this is the, some common blocks are like, we have a fear of being judged.

If I tell you my fantasy, you are going to judge me. Or just being pressured. Now that you told me this fantasy, it means that it has to happen, fear of disappointing our partners, fear of just changing up the whole dynamic. But I want to remind you that sometimes we have fantasies that we don't even want to happen. But like, I just want to think about it on my own time. I don't even really want to share it with a partner. And you in no way have to share a fantasy with a partner either. But what this made me think of is that it's really time.

So going to your partner and just saying, okay, tell me your fantasies. Since we don't know, we don't have this guy who left the message on a call, it could just be, it might be jumping the gun there. Maybe they haven't had a conversation about anything about their sex life yet. And I used to have boyfriends like, tell me your fantasy. I just want you to like slow everything down and make sure that I feel. good before you have your orgasm because your orgasm is a short thing and I like oral sex and I like all these things.

It wasn't like this big elaborate thing, but it felt like I wasn't even getting basic. This is before I knew how to communicate my needs, people, but it felt like my basic needs weren't even getting met that I wasn't going to throw out some other, I didn't even have any major fantasies. It was more like I have this discontent with our sex life and with our relationship that I don't actually know how to express. So a lot of times we don't have the words to say what we actually want. So that's the other thing.

And I want to remind you this, that most fantasies we have, a lot of our fantasies, is more about how we want to feel with someone and less about what we want to do for many of us. It's like I want to feel taken. I want to feel chosen. I want to feel respected. I want to feel, you know, like transgression, like we're doing something that's taboo. So anyone, like, if you could just tap into that now, think about it. Like, how would you want to feel during sex or during a fantasy?

So, you know, and it doesn't actually work to say, tell me your fantasies. Like if you want an outcome. So especially if you get an I don't know from your partner, anyone else get like an I don't know from your partner ever when you ask them, they're like, I don't know or I don't want to talk about it. That's really common answer too. That is not the time to lean in to like, why don't know? you know, you should tell me, we should know everything. You know, you could do it as like,

I'll tell you one of my fantasies or I'll tell you some things that I've been thinking about, but we never want to pressure our partners. I know people always saying, like, how do I get my partner to fill in the blank? It could be like, have a threesome, do all these things. But really, you're not going to get your partner to do anything. What you are going to get your partner do, hopefully is to have a really healthy, specific, honest conversation about your intimate life. So that's what I recommend. So someone said, I think many of us have fantasies we would never wish to enact. Exactly. They're just hot ideas, but either, yeah, impractical or dangerous. It's true. Thanks everyone for joining. We have a bunch of people who just joined us. You

welcome. You can message me. You can call me. You can DM. You can do all the things. 559-5-5-7-39. You can ask your questions in this chat. You can tell you. text them. This is a judgment-free, shame-free space. If that doesn't feel cool to you and you're not down, then you don't have to hang out with us, okay? You can also leave a voicemail or leave messages at feedback at sex withelmy.com. Most important thing is that right now we're talking about why don't we ask for what we want? How do we get our partners to talk more openly about sex? And like, what is really going on here? And so, yeah, and you can also ask your questions about anything, but I really wanted to cover this because I feel like it comes up all the time.

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and i don't have to gender things but if you think about a lot of romantic fantasies or romantacies novels or that's out there now that i feel that for some women fantasies are around like being pursued, being desired. You're the chosen one. Or I just can't like I want you so bad. I'm just going to grab you and throw you over my shoulder. You know, like all the like cavemen like they just drag me back to the cave. Like there's something about being chosen and being the one. That could be your fantasy. That could be the kernel place to start. It could be power dynamics. This is where we get like the dominate and the submissive one or just like wanting to surrender or wanting to be wanted. And then there's the now. We all know about like role playing, you know, about like, like role playing or having a scenario or like a whole new setting.

Like sometimes that's just hot. Okay. Can we just talk about that? The novelty of just having sex in a different room or even on vacation. Whenever I ask you all, I'm like, what's your most like memorable time you with sex or your most hottest time? A lot of times it's when it was unexpected. It was spontaneous and you were on vacation. That's what I hear from you guys a lot.

So think about it. Those are also fantasies. Or it's sensory. I want a certain kind of touch. I want a certain kind of pace. I want to go really slow. Or I want to be able to look forward to it and have some anticipation. So again, fantasies are how sometimes you want to feel, not necessarily something we want to do.

So I'm going to read some of your questions here. Yeah. Someone said, do I recommend you sharing stories? You know, yes. Oh, sharing stories here or sharing stories with your partner. I recommend sharing. with your partner, but I don't know how much space we have here for you to share a fantasy. But sometimes if we're just like, listen, if 10 of you said your partner, you want to,

you have some fantasy, it would actually the way it unraveled or the way it, not unravel, the way it looked, it was executed, would look very different for many different people. Like it's just, we all have different ways of looking at sometimes a fantasy that would sound the same. So yes, telling your stories, being specific, and including, like, the reason why I think this fantasy is so hot is because ABC, D.E. So someone said, we act out our fantasies, but we are the characters and the stories. We use blindfolds.

This is one of their stories. We use a blindfold to she can imagine it to someone else. So, yeah, there's no one else. I love it. So there's, listen, there's nothing wrong with closing your eyes and picturing someone else. I actually like that they're actually talking about this scenario. But a blindfold or any kind of restriction. like if you take away eyesight and use a blindfold, all of your other senses can become more heightened,

but also you don't really know what's coming, you don't know what's happening next. It really is a great way to surrender. So someone said, I feel like for me when I was new to kink or having fantasies, it was very foreign and uncomfortable to talk about because I didn't know much about it. And I feel sometimes like, hey, I like these. Yeah, a lot of times we actually don't even, we haven't really given ourselves permission to explore fantasies, you know? a kinky fantasy or we've seen something and we're like, oh, I would like that, or we just immediately push it down or shame ourselves.

So I think this is really interesting. Sometimes it just takes experience. That's why I'm giving you all the, like maybe it's just something novel and new. Maybe it's an internal fantasy that doesn't involve a partner at all. Think of one thing that you think that would be really hot to happen right now in your sex life and then go from there. It'd be great to start with, you know, truly feeling desired for my partner. What does it look like?

Do you need the words ahead of time? Do you want them to plan something out? Do you want to do some kind of like dominant submission play where they're like tied you up and, you know, they're teasing you and you can't have them? So someone else said, yeah. So it's hard to talk about. So yeah. Someone else said, any tips on how to navigate desire for your partner if you're growing at different paces erotically and therapeutically? This is really, really common for you.

people to have fantasy, have to be growing distant, or their desires are at different places, erotically and therapeutically. I mean, the first thing is recognizing it. So I'm really glad that you actually know that you and your partner are growing at different places. Sorry, you guys have this. Hold on. I have to come here. Okay. So it's good to know that you guys are growing at different paces, erotically and therapeutically. Do you know what those places are? Have you guys sat and talked about, well, I really think I'm going in this direction. What kind of direction are you going in? It doesn't have to be the end of your relationship. The thing that has to happen in a relationship is that we want you both to be open to growing together, right?

Do you both have a growth mindset? Are you willing to work around sex, the sex challenges that you're going to have? Because so many of us have them. I highly recommend therapy or sex coaching. If you haven't had a therapist yet, a lot of times it looks like the problems are differences, erotic differences in the bedroom, but sometimes there are other things that built up over time. Yeah, yeah.

Someone says, I hire someone to massage her and she's blindfold. I dress up and act like someone else comes in. Oh, that's hot. It's me, but I don't talk. That's a hot. Do you know, that's one of the really common fantasies is the massage fantasy, like your masseuse is just, you know, giving you massage. And then they like, oops, they went, you know, where they shouldn't go.

But it's really your partner. We're just talking about role playing here. That is a really hot fantasy for a lot of people. What are some other ones? Any other questions here about fantasies or anything? So I feel like I actually think that role playing is, that's great. He says he's going to a therapist and goes to couples therapy. Amazing.

I think you probably, they've probably told you all the things. And it's a matter of making sure your partner, you know, you guys are both participating together in this, in this scenario. So some other things are, if you would be inspiring for you, trying to think of some with the other. Like, you guys all know the ones like fantasy and like doctor student, doctor, doctor, patient. Those are some common ones. Yeah. Okay. So I've got a question here that came in. I used to listen to your podcast. I love what you do. I'm a 25 year old girl who just can't seem to figure out sex in a way that works for me. I have the deep desires, but they've been repressed

with time. I hate porn because it's all ratchet, doesn't in line with my type of fantasy. I'm stuck because I don't masturbate as I should, but also can't sex the way I deserve. What do I do? Okay. So she has deep desire. She's 25, but they've been repressed. I get it. There's not a lot of porn that speaks to women often. There's a lot of porn that's made by men for men and it doesn't necessarily resonate. We don't often see ourselves represented. And I think that first off, thank you for your question. I do think that masturbation, solo sex, I know you're saying you don't want to, but it could be a way. to really work through your desires that you think are repressed and think about, like, really walk through those scenarios in your head. Like, what are some things that really would turn me on and let yourself be free with it? Because no one else is going to be there with you. You're going to get to explore your body.

I mean, here's what I want to say is that when we're not in a relationship, that can actually be such a great time to start to understand ourselves and who we are as sexual beings without a partner saying, like, you ought to do this thing or you've got to try that thing, it's actually a really beautiful way to know ourselves better. So I wouldn't give up on the masturbation also sometimes. When we spend too much time away from sex in general, we tend to start to associate sex with maybe our last partner or we get built up more anxiety around sex. And then when we see somebody, it becomes harder to get like in our bodies again because we've been so disconnected from it. It's kind of like going to the gym where if you don't keep walking or

working out for a while, you're like, oh, then you go to the gym. And then you go to the gym. After a month or six months, you're like, oh, God, it's really hard to do the same kind of workout. But if you do like 10 minutes a day or an hour a week, you haven't gone completely cold turkey, the same thing goes for your desire and to keep your pilot light lit, whether you're in a relationship or out of a relationship. So keeping the masturbation going, all the things. All right, there's a call coming in, and I will take it. Hello, thank you for calling. Hello, hi, Emily.

Hi. Hi. How can I help you? I just want to say big fans since the Loveline days. Amazing. Thank you. Yeah, so I am 32 years old. I'm calling from Chicago, Illinois.

And I'm calling because I've been having a little bit of trouble dating recently as far as just finding that balance of being honest with the person I'm seeing, but also not oversharing certain things, like dating in general. Okay. Just to get some context like I'm currently seeing this girl right now. we've been talking for about a month now. We've matched on Bumble and things have been going well. And the only thing is I'm not sure how to bring up a conversation about where things are going because it's only been like a few weeks of us talking. Okay. And she just got to have a long-term relationship eight years.

And I don't want to be pushy about it about like, you know, where things going because of that and also it's still kind of new. but also I don't want to get myself too emotionally invested and kind of hold off of finding or kind of hold off on, you know, going on other dates and stuff too because I don't want to be, you know, disrespectful to what we have going on now, but also I don't want to limit myself. Wow. I love this. Thank you for asking this question. I think it's so frigging relatable and real.

And I love that you're like, I really know. I want to be like a good person and respect her and respect myself. So that's such a great framing of this. So did you have you been out with her a few times, you said? Or you just met? Yeah, we've been on probably like three official dates. But then we've also just like hung out like at my place and just like watch movies and stuff and got food. Okay.

Has it been intimate at all? Any sexual? No, not at all. Okay. So I think, so what you're saying is you want to know if you should even pursue it sexually because you're not really sure how she's feeling out about it or just in general the relationship. How do I just see where we're at? I just think it's like, I think it's just something like this has been, I've been having a good time.

How do you feel about this? Like, just like this is, I really enjoy getting to know you. What do you, how are you feeling about this relationship? Because I really am having like, I'm really liking this time we're spending together. And I'm thinking about what you were not together. And I'm just curious if we're on the same page, you could even be like, I know you got to have a relationship, but are you thinking about, yeah, like, what are you thinking about dating right now? What does that look like for you? She might not have an answer, but I think it's okay to say, I'm practicing right now.

And I don't know your history. Maybe you could just be like, in the past, I didn't really speak about, I didn't really get clear when I was dating. And I think it's really helpful the sooner than later to make sure that we're at least rowing this boat in the same direction, you know. So I think it's okay to make it more like casual and it's not like, hey, what's our status? But just like talk about it. This has been fun. I've been enjoying it, you know? I like seeing you.

How are you feeling? Have you thought about dating? I don't know. What is your history? Eric, you said, is your name? Did you say? I just went Yeah, it could be Eric

I just went out Oh, don't worry, do right Okay, I made you right Yeah So yeah My dating history Well, I just recently So the reason

Like I want to be As transparent It can be Is because I've Not too long ago Was seeing two girls I was seeing You get seeing two girls

Simultaneously Yeah And they weren't official But with one girl I was having We were sexually active Okay And then with another girl

It didn't get there quite yet, but they were about to be. And then I went ahead and closed things off with the other girl. And when I did, she had asked, like, oh, if I was seeing anybody else. And I had lied to her thing. I wasn't seeing anybody else. Okay. And then I felt bad about that because the next day I went over to the first girl's place

and broke it off, like, right away. And then it all kind of blew up in my face because the other girl kind of called me out to see, like, you know, what was going on. Right. And I told her, like, about the whole situation. And pretty much just came clean about everything. And I just felt really shitty about that. I don't know if I swear.

No, that's really clear. No, I love that. You learn from that. You're like, that didn't feel good to me to not be completely transparent. And so I think that, well, first of all, I think if you met someone on a dating app right now, I think this goes for all of us, we have to assume they're dating other people, right? Even after three dates. Until you have the conversation, you got to assume. So you weren't doing anything wrong, just so you know.

but I also think to your point, like, it actually is really nice to be more open and be like, I, so you really, you said you're not interested in dating anyone else right now. You could let her, you mean, I don't know, I'm not kind of, I would want to share that and be like, I've found that in this dating world that it's better to be clear about what's going on than not. And so, you know, I think after three dates, I don't think that she's making assumptions that you're not dating anyone yet. So that's why I think it might be a little bit too great area to be like, And you haven't been, you haven't had sex yet, right? Really? Intimacy. So I feel like it's just like, let's see if she's somebody that is comfortable having these conversations which can be stressful or have a lot of pressure on them. Like, let's just see how she does because you're somebody who's so emotionally intelligent. You want to set the boundary.

And let's make sure that she's someone who can meet you there. I think ask her to have the conversation and see how she responds to it. And then go from there. I would just have, you know, I'm having a good time. how do you feel about this? What do you think about that? Right. Okay.

So I don't think it has to be so like black or what. You know what I'm saying? Like let's now listen, you could just be like, this thing happened to me in the past. I was dating two women and it was confusing and that but that could set her off. You could say, I found that it's better to be clearer. So you could say, I'm dating you now. I'm not seeing anybody else.

You could also say that, but then that might if she is, we don't want her to lie. But I feel that as honest as you want to be, you should be. because this is who you are. So saying to, I'm figuring this out with you in real time because like it's a new, it's like you get to decide. And I think that you're going to feel better if you're really honest about where you're at.

So. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, I just been hesitant to have that conversation because like I said earlier, I just don't want to put like that pressure because of her just getting out like in a real relationship. I just kind of feeling like she's almost just want to keep it cool.

But I don't want to keep things too cool because then I want to like kind of pass by and nothing really. Well, see, I think that's okay to say. This is what you could say. We're working this out. I'm making an assumption here that you've been, you're getting out of a long-term relationship. And being in a relationship right now, I would never want to put pressure on you. And I'm thinking that's probably not a direction you want to go in right now.

That's what I'm assuming. And where I'm at is I found that when I'm dating, I want to be really intentional and clear with the people I'm dating. And I'm actually looking for a relationship right now. This is in no way of putting pressure on you. I don't expect you to know me after three dates. But I just wanted to have an open dialogue to make sure that whatever this is, we're being honest and transparent with each other. Okay. Say it like that.

And after that conversation, after that conversation, like if things go well, I shouldn't be like seeing other people at the death, right? Or is that something that? Well, I think that if she says to you, I'm not looking for a relationship right now. I just want to have fun and see where this goes. And it doesn't come up that you're dating other. I mean, yeah, I think you can still date other people. I think waiting around for her. isn't okay.

I mean, hopefully you can just get to the place where we're like, yeah, I'm dating other people. I think we all know it, right? Don't we all assume that people are dating other people until we have the conversation? If you think that, if she tells you, yeah, don't get too emotionally tat, or I'm not sure yet, or it's going to take me about six months,

then you can decide, even though you really like this woman, if this is how you want to spend your time right now. There's something to be said for she told you where she's at, believe her. She told you that she, I mean, we're going on the scenario of her saying she's, not looking for it. And you still want to date other people because you're looking for that, then maybe it's not the right relationship for you. So the more information you gather will be

very, very helpful for both of you. But I think that you call back one conversation with her and then call me back. We can keep talking. Oh, really? Oh, awesome. Okay, cool. I'd be here all the time. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 5 o'clock. Just get comfortable talking to her about how you feel about it. Okay? And give us, let me know how it goes. Thank you for calling. I appreciate it. Thank you. Yeah, have a good night. You guys, listen. And what do you? I mean, I'm telling you, I'm just in this world where if we're dating someone, don't we assume that they're probably dating other people, number one. And number two, it's like, I want someone to be honest with me. I want to know how they feel. I get that there's just like,

oh, my God, this person's pressuring me to commit, but then maybe they're not your person because you're in different places right now. So, um, so yeah, what else we got here? Someone said, how long should you wait to have sex? I'm not dating those. I've chat with. We don't know if you're compatible. That's the other thing is that, again, getting into a relationship, I don't have any rules, like you have to wait three days or three months or until you're committed, but I also think that things get very much more,

after we have sex with someone, we tend to get more attached, we tend to feel more of the feelings. And so I think that if you know yourself, that when I sleep with somebody, I get very attached, then maybe it's better for you to wait until you feel safe with someone and you feel connected to someone. So, but I find that if you want, know you want to have sex with someone. And I know what you're saying here, the only way to know

if you're compatible, it's like, yeah, you might be sexually compatible and there's a lot of information to find with sex. But you could also have sex with someone the first date, the first three dates. It doesn't mean you're compatible in all the other ways that matter. And let me remind you that sex is often really hot early on in a relationship because we don't really know this person. We've never touched them before. We've never smelled them before. We've never seen this person before. So there's a lot of things that happen in a relationship. I mean, when you have sex with someone right away that isn't necessary like, oh, now we had amazing sex. It should be my forever person. Uh, yeah. All right, guys. I love all this. Thank you all for being here.

I have to take off a little bit early today, you guys. So I appreciate you all for calling in and exploring and for calling and for messaging me and for checking out the pot. You guys, I'd love to hear your feedback of today's podcast that I just post. It was from one of our first lives we did with you all like six months ago. It's also on YouTube. I'm very excited about that. I want to see what you think of these new, of these episodes because I think they're really like, this is what we, this is what I want.

I want to be talking to y'all. This is a place where we can be safe and free and judgment free and where all the magic is happening, in my opinion. So let me know what you think of that. I've got a bunch of other podcasts too on all platforms you listen to podcasts. Subscribe to the YouTube. Do that. I would love it.

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