Sex With Emily - How to Beat Masturbation Month

Episode Date: May 3, 2017

Welcome to Emily’s favorite month of the year! She and special guest Menace kick off May, the official Month of Masturbation, by taking your calls and getting to the heart of your issues and giving you a special challenge to make the most of this month’s theme. Tune in for tips for taking you out of your mundane, routine masturbation habits. Also, they talk to a caller who wonders how he can please his self-professed asexual girlfriend and a woman who was surprised by her post-orgasmic tears. Plus, Emily gives a newbie some solid blow-job tips and convinces a guy that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with his wearing thong underwear. Click, subscribe and get in on the action! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Blue Apron, Magic Wand, Intensity and WeVibe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily! Today's show we're tackling your sex and relationship questions at Topics Include, crying after an orgasm, what does it mean? Plus blowjob tip basics, where to start, and also how do you spice up your masturbation routine because hey, it's masturbation month, all this and more, thanks for listening! Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my God, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information.

Go to sexwithemily.com where you can do so many things there, especially subscribe to the podcast, check it out, follow us on social media. It's all at sex with Emily across the board and set up for our newsletter, all that stuff. Oh, we are, I'm here with Mattis, first of all. Hey, let's go to the more important thing.

Hi, Mattis. Hi, how you doing? I'm fabulous. So good to see you. I just like you to be here and everything that you know that you're present. Well, I'm fabulous. So good to see you. I just let you to be here. I love being here I'm going through all the things that are very important people to stay truly connected to the sex family family Yeah, like Snapchat and Instagram and Twitter and all sex family But I know it's all my snapchets. Oh you do wow. I know not all but a lot of them. Yeah, obviously I delete dick pics

Don't even try although some guy was funny the other day I actually was cuz you know he was names But he sent me a picture of Richard Nixon and said it was here's a dick pic. Oh sweet That's for dick. I don't know I laugh. No you guys are awesome. No, thank you so much And welcome to all of our new listeners because I think menace you run few weeks ago But I don't if I told you that we have it's huge influx of new I know and I'm telling you like people are subscribers It's amazing. So welcome, we love you more hip to podcasting. You know, it only took like 15

years, but welcome. We are out here. Welcome to the podcasting family. It's true that people are like 12 years ago. How did you like people like I just found out about it yesterday. Well, the first this is the party I was first of this party. It becomes easier and easier, you know. It works the pairing of the phones, the speakers and all kinds of stuff. That's true.

I'm glad, I'm glad. It's just the same thing. Amazon Echo, I won't say her name because I want to activate anybody's right now. But that's been great. And just I've been able to stream more and more audio. I haven't used that yet. The Amazon Echo, you need to go in.

Okay. But if you say her name, because Amazon Echo has a name, it activates it, we do it all the time by accident on the radio. You do, and then everyone's a kind of... One of the most interesting stories. You just activate it in my Echo, so I won't do that. No, you're right. However you will find us, we're happy. It's great.

You can email us, we take your calls, all that stuff. It's go to ask Emily on the website, click on the tab, ask question. So Menace, it's May. It is. And it's Mastervation Month. So I'd like you to be the first to welcome you to and say, you know, wish you were happy, happy Mastervation Month. I feel how you're going to celebrate this year.

I'll masturbate every day just for you. Cool. But I feel like every other month is a blur and then suddenly it's a masturbation month again. I think this might be like our 10th or alive with the masturbation month that we've celebrated together. Yeah. Not like, well, we haven't done any mutual masturbation.

Let me ask you, in your early days of masturbation, what would you think about? It's a really good question. Yes. And I would think about. Feel free to share. Thank you. You have to answer after. Oh, no.

Actually, that's a great question because my earliest masturbation were later than most peoples because I did not start to masturbate until I was about 20 because it never occurred to me ever to tell my body I didn't know there was anything to do around my body that would feel good. And so then I was really in my head and I didn't have any thoughts. I was like, oh, this doesn't feel good, this doesn't feel good. What's the problem?

I can't have an orgasm. Like a lot of our listeners. And then I started thinking about guys that I was with. Like usually really real pure like guy like that. Like I kiss, like crushes on. I think about that. I'm not the guy that I was, that I was like, I'm the same.

Yeah, but just like, you know, partners and stuff like that. That's why I've never really got into porn because I don't feel it's real life. But I think like, you know, past experiences are much more real and, you know, able to pop that up quickly for masturbation. Well, right. Well, what do you think about? What did you think about them? Then was it like a girl you had a crush on?

Yeah, it's stuff like that. Nothing like, oh, just, you know, stumble upon a video or a magazine or anything like that. It was just like actual, like, you know, real life experiences. Typically they say like it was about, I think this was a study that just came out like what men to masturbate to or about,

and it was like about things that have happened. It could just be like a hot woman, they stand on the street, they write it to you guys, or you guys are all the guys listening, yeah, yeah. But, you know, it could just be like a hot woman, they stay on the street, they write it to you guys, or you guys are all the guys listening, we're yell, yell. But you know, it could be an X because we tend to kind of put our X on pedestals and we just think about like, how great it was, or you know, that,

I don't know, we can pull our memories of, pull the memories in the spank bank. Hello. I don't think that we have the spank, for me, my spank bank is like channel nine. Remember channel nine is all fuzzy when you were a kid, like there was no channels, is there ever have that like channel that didn't work,

channel three? That's what it is, like they're all mushed together, but I think for men it's more specific. They're masturbation thing, but I'm glad you're asking this question. You know why I'm asked you didn't know this, but since it is masturbation month, which is, you know, huge month, that's the most important month, we are doing a contest because we love contest and we also love giving you guys stuff that you that will help you have better sex and masturbate. So you can win a prize this month up until May 31st.

This is what you guys can do. You can email me your favorite masturbation routine. I wanna know what's your masturbation routine? Like what do you do? If it's, or maybe it could be your most creative one, you sit down or you lay down, you think about a memory, you flip on the porn, what toys do you play with, what do you do?

And if you emails with that, we're gonna be giving way special prizes. Soys, gifts, things like that. Because it's a big, all month long. So you can find out all about the contest on our website, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, all that stuff, which is fun. So how do you feel, I'm a straight up.

Nah, well, so we'll get to that, but what's going on in your life? What's happening? What are you at? I am, you know, I'm in a good place, man, it's like I gotta say. Life has been good. I am, you know, I'm in a good place, man. It's like I gotta say, life has been good. I am, yeah.

I know you have a place that you love. I love my place, and I'm even watching TV. I know. I'm on the same show. I'm excited. I know you didn't think I'd be watching TV, but I am, I have like a yard, and I'm like, it's sunny, and there's like people and neighbors.

It's all coming together. It's all coming together. Yeah, I'm super happy. That's good. It's great. Yeah, I've everything like lined up I'm ready to go like all my toys I told you about my TV my backyard It's almost like I don't even I don't even know who I am

I know right. Yeah, it's really fun. You're growing up before my eyes. I know it's right. It's crazy I know like you're calling people young people like millennial I know you're not that young person anymore. No, that's cute. Manus I was just in our favorite place that, you know, that I always talk about. Oh, just a lot of Las Vegas. Gonna be in San Francisco soon. Okay. Going to San Diego tomorrow.

I was just in Las Vegas and I saw the, the Backstreet Boys show at Planet Hollywood. We'll take it to the Backstreet Boys Festival. Awesome. Really? Yeah, it ruled. It was really good. I was, what are they doing? Really, okay.

They're doing all their hits. That's amazing. That would be amazing. Yeah, I was I was pretty wasted But it was fun. It was really fun. I highly recommend it Okay, I think goes there definitely there are all so I got to like hang out with them for a little bit Yeah, all super nice. Yeah, they're really really cool. That's good. Did you do like a show with them? Or did you do? No, no, just one backstage. I don't know what's up. And said, hi, but to see I'm bringing this up for you, you fellows out there.

If you, yeah, I'm gonna like, okay, this is guys, why if you go to Las Vegas and you're gonna go waste all your money at a strip club, right? You're there with your buddies. I'm telling you, go to a backstreet boys show. There's gonna be a bunch of women that just wanna hook up, like crazy. My girlfriend was like,

That might be the best advice you've ever given. I'm a show. These women are like trying to flirt with me like crazy because the guy to girl ratio is insane right? Right. That's really smart. Guys don't waste your money on the show club. Go to the Backstreet Boys show. I know I know it sounds crazy, but I'm just telling you give it a shot. You're gonna love it. That's awesome. Man, I said I was like literally I feel like we could

on the show now. I feel like guys are going to throw in the money and they're like, oh my god, the Backstreet Boys, who would it know? I know right? I almost want to go now just to see if you're right. I am right, I'm telling you. I know, you know, you've been better lately. Oh, I've been better. Oh, okay. So the thing that I'm excited about the most

thing though is because it's masterpiece, like this is for real, that we've been thinking about how we talk about like the themes on the show, things come up lately. Like three sims come up and like they come back around. Like there's been so many things about three sims come up and like, they come back around. Like, there's been so many things about, three sims are porn or anal sex, but I feel like the question's,

masturbation can be very, very confusing when you're in a relationship because we hear from men and they're like, my partner doesn't want me to masturbate. They think it's wrong. She's jealous of my masturbating or I have to hide it. And I feel like there's a lot of women like I don't understand why a partner watches porn

or once they're in a relationship, they stop masturbating. There's all these things around masturbation that keep, I think because it's more, I don't know, I think it's a porn or maybe it's just more talked about now people know what it is and it's also confusing. So I love this month because I feel like all these weird myths and confusion and questions

that people have around like around their partners masturbating, but also, so that's one part of it that confusions. The other thing is that the reason why we celebrate it for a month, and if you are one of these people going like, I thought every day was masturbation month, good, you know what, I thought every month was, it should be, okay?

So you're right. But the thing about it is that masturbation is actually good for you and healthy, and you have better sex when you masturbate. Like you, such you for women being more in touch with your bodies and knowing what makes yourself feel good. You've heard me say this, but like for people who like, don't even think you're like, I'm in a relationship,

I don't really need more. You do, it's actually. It builds stamina. It builds stamina. Stamina. Stamina. And for women, if you're like, for doing your body, your body, your body, your zone,

it makes you feel good. So that's why, so this month, tips, tricks, blog posts, podcasts, all about masturbation. That's why so this month, tips, tricks, blog posts, podcasts, all about Master's Christian, that's why I feel. If this is news too, because it's not on the National calendar, on your iPhone, how it populate, all the holidays and you know about it. The holidays, the Master, I'm gonna put that on the ballot. I think Master's Christian month should be

and recognize as a National holiday. Call Tim, could get Apple and say, look, dude, you gotta fix this calendar. Don't you think? Because if we all masturbated more and had more orgasms, the world's the we have your place. And do you know what, there's so many more crazy tools? Tools for masturbation now than just 10 years ago.

I mean, the flashlight has exploded, right? I go, right? Yeah. I, the flashlight, male masturbation sleeve, that's true. There's so many more toys, there's so many more ways, mutual masturbation and a huge fan of that for couples. Yeah, masturbation department.

There's your own freaking robots, like within the next five years. Robots will masturbate you for what if you do anything? We will literally never leave the house. We said joke about that year's ago, you're like, you never leave the house. Like, people are not leaving the house now. Which is actually a problem.

They got Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime, everything's on TV. All the food delivery apps. I had a friend, she was like so into the delivery apps that for a lunch, she gave them up because that thing where she wasn't going out anywhere because everything would just come to the house. You know, the thing you need.

Okay, Matt, well, we're leaving the house. You drove here, I'm glad that you're here. It's awesome know? It's the thing you need. Okay, Matt, well, we're leaving the house. You drove here. I'm glad you're here. It's awesome. So let's get into some sex in the news, which is always a good time. Okay. So there's some surprising things

that you should consider avoiding after sex. So this is probably good for you. I pick this for you because I feel like and for all listeners, I just feel like you might do some of these things. Okay. And you probably shouldn't do them. Okay.

Or you're probably annoyed as hell of a woman does this to you. Okay. Okay. Some of the things that you should not do after sex, because you know, it's a great moment and you're connected. You've been wanting sex for a while. You've done the deed. It's all great.

And you're like, God, and then you do these things. And just can like totally ruin the mood. Talk. Talk. Right. Well, here's a thing. It depends on what you talk about. So getting up right away, not a good thing to do. Oh no.

No, you're like, probably grab your phone. You're like, ugh, ugh, then you got to, you're on Instagram. But seriously, getting up right away, you do have to get up and pee. Yes. You got to pee after sex, because you know, get rid of the bacteria,

you guys, it's still important, you can rinse off, but you really want to linger in bed, as often as you can. Like as long as you can, keep the energy, the closeness, I've got all this oxytocin and all this feel good hormones flowing to your body. So just like get up and go start, you know, doing crafts or hobby or something.

You're not supposed to have a deep, meaningful conversation after sex. Yeah. It makes you happy, not a great time. Because there is the refractory period of orgasm. It's like you can't even talk after sex. You're like, I'm just, and I get it like a lot of men Just fall asleep after sex, which I actually really terribly upset me. I need to leave there

I need to leave like I at least need a closing Talk it doesn't have to be deep, but just don't guys who are like orgasm and they're like they're snoring Come to like earth like at one pitch like they just go They they they go into the snoring. They go. they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, they go, yep. And then they go, they go, they go, they go, yeah, so bad. But you also don't want to get to deep meaningful conversations. It can be hard. You're all disoriented. Don't comment on your partner's body. So I see like, like negative things like, like, uh, like, uh, it's just coming up. The don't as well. You know what? People are stupid because no, but people really, I think they don't realize it. Little comments like, Oh, you have

like this, anything from body here to weight. There's a lot of comments you will make all bodies It can be like a critical or they can affect yourself a steam and you don't realize it and people care this stuff from forever Like someone one time says like oh, did you know that your left boobs bigger than your right boob? Which by the way every woman's boobs are two sizes. Did you know that? I did know that and some moments more pronounced, but just we will never forget it We'll be like every guy is looking at my at my left food bigger than my right food, or would our guys can be like, oh she noticed that I have this hairy mole on my back.

Don't make those comments after sex. Don't reminisce about sex you've had with other people, but you shouldn't ever do that. Who are the people? Is this the dullest? Yeah, it's the dullest, exactly. Texting your friends about it after hook-up unless, you know, don't do that.

Turning on the TV, I'm just reminding people. Love the TV. TV in the bedroom, not a good idea. Mm-hmm. TV in your bedroom? Of course. In the bathroom.

Of three TVs. In the bedroom? In each room and in the living room. We only have like a one bedroom, right? I have a two bedroom. And you have three TVs. Yes, of course. One in the bathroom?

Where? I would love to have one in the bathroom, but I can't do it. I love how tall I am. I love how tall I am. I love it in the bathroom. Even though I don't watch TV, but when you're I would love to have one of the bathroom, but you can't do it. I love how I'm gonna have it in the bathroom. Even though I don't watch TV, but when you're in a hotel and they have the bathtub and the TVs, have you been? TV in the mirror. Yeah, they have that at the Bellagio in Las Vegas. They have a TV in the mirror.

I love this. Hinting that it wasn't the best sex you've ever had. Now, okay, this is obvious, but talking about what does and doesn't work for you great for communication But you don't want to talk right in the bedroom. You don't want to like recap your site like oh well next time Could you try to like sit on my face longer? Like you really just anything like you don't need I Talk about sex is very important, but right after the act right before the act not a good time I run it. They not in the bedroom. So those are some things. That's funny So on the topic of masturbation,

I'm like, just list. I got all month. There was a survey and we talked about it on the Woody Show. And it was kind of like, would you rather list and they surveyed a bunch of people? And this is the only question I can remember. And I know, I probably already know what your answer is. But a high percentage didn't go with the answer

that I know that you're gonna give. And that question was, would you rather give a self-pleasuring to be able to eat your favorite item as much as you want for the rest of your life? Hello. Can't, it's like you'll die without it. And then a lot of people, you need to masturbate, tell them.

Like pizza or something like that. You would have to either give up pizza or give up masturbation. Never, I wouldn't give up anything from masturbate. Like pizza or something like that. You would have to either give up pizza or give up masturbation. Never. I wouldn't give up anything from masturbation. I need masturbation. We only masturbation. Nothing in your life, you would.

Let me think. Well, I can't imagine because to be being healthy, it's like saying, well, you give up water. You can give up breathing. You give up masturbation. Let's say, I think we require, we require, you just have sex. You just have sex. require, you serve sex. You serve sex. You serve sex.

You can totally have sex. You just can't touch yourself. But let's say like people, people, people love their favorite food item. They can't have it for the rest of the life because then they would, you know, you'd be able to masturbate. But you can have that food item,

but you wouldn't be able to masturbate ever again. You know, what's your choice? And I know what your choice is. You know my choice, but for the't be able to masturbate ever again. You know, what's your choice? And I know what your choice is. Right, you know my choices. But for the day to day person, it might be a tough decision and the large majority picked the food item over masturbation. Who are these people? I don't know.

You tell me that was wrong because masturbation is important part of your being sexually healthy. Well, I pick the food item. What's your favorite? I had a guy recently and I date him. So what's your favorite food? And I find that it's just odd question. Why? I don't know.

I don't have one favorite food. Like when? Well, that's usually said out. The morning, because they want to take you somewhere. No, no, it was on the date. Oh, okay. So what's your favorite food? Like we already, oh, I think you just

trying to make conversation. Yeah. But it's not a bad, but it's just like, I don't know., oh, I think you just trying to make conversation. Yeah. But it's not a bad, but it's just like, I don't know. It wasn't his fault. Not saying it's a bad question. I just wouldn't know how to answer that. So when you're talking about a quiz or the survey, what are the food items?

That was saying general. Oh, this is your favorite, yeah. What's your favorite? Do you want a food item that I feel like everything gets boring? I would probably pick pizza. Would be one of favorites. I would pick pizza for you too.

Pizza's delicious. And I want to give up pizza. I wouldn't be able to. You would, I would pick pizza for you too. Pieces delicious. And I wanna give up pizza. I wanna be able to have it for the rest of my life for masturbation because I go, well, I can at least still have sex, right? Right. So that takes care of that situation. So then I can have both.

Yeah, I understand your reasoning, but I think that, yeah, I need it. I need to masturbate. I'm just gonna have to get laid more, you know? Are you getting laid enough right now? I am. But I'm just saying if I had to give up, if I had to get it, you could still have orgasms of masturbation. So did men and women answer this question? Yes. And I bet you the women were like, I'll take my favorite food item. Yeah. Because women don't earn as attached to their masturbation. It's men.

I want women to get really attached to masturbation. But I knew since I've known you know me, I love masturbation. That was one of our first shows together. So I would it'd be funny to see what the people that listen to show if They were put in that situation tweet me at Family and menace at menace are you at menace? Yeah, I mean I do the Twitter I do the Twitter I do the Instagram I do all that. It's all at menace I never forget when you called me like in 2008.

And I thought I was happy that you still like me. I could be doing the shows. I remember because there's work we were working on that station and we weren't. You're like, Emily, I gotta talk to you. Call me, I'm like, yeah, you're like, Twitter. It's amazing, you gotta go, you gotta get on Twitter. And you like, Tom, I was like, oh, I'll never,

and then everything since then, probably. Everything. So follow Emily. Oh, last time we talked, we were trying to build your Instagram, So at sex Emily Did we like look up like some sexy photo of you on a bed? How that do you? And then we see I don't know I will be busy. I gotta look all right. The photos have been great lately. Thanks honey. Yeah, they've been my god dog Huh my god dog picture my god dog. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, I remember the photo. So

it was it's at sex Emily on Instagram and it's though one I said if you're into your a foot fetish person Because it shows your feet and you're laying on a bed on a computer right so we I asked people to come in They come up. Maybe they could find it was for them. Let's see. Yeah, they're here and oh, you're wearing like Glasses and stuff like that. Right. So yeah, look for Emily. We're building that audience. Yeah, I like it. We give ways to find there. I do the Instagram stories, which are fun. So let's get into the emails. Yes. Okay. Let's do it. So everyone, I love when you ask me questions. I love how you do it. Everyone, I love when you ask me questions. I love how you do it. I love it.

Go to my website, sexelmy.com. Click on Ask Emily tab. Fill it out. Send a question. You can also leave voice mail. You can be called. We're taking your calls. Answer emails.

Your name, your age. How you listen. Where you live. How you masturbate. If you want to win some toys a month, just say in, if you want to, we want to know your masturbation routine. Okay, we've got Jessica. She's 24 from Philadelphia and she wants to know why she's recently started to cry after

she orgasms. So let's talk to Jessica. Hey Jessica. Hi, Emily. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm here with menist today.

Hey, what's up Jessica? Awesome. I'm so excited. How are you? I'm excited with menist. Hey, what's up, Jessica? Awesome. I'm so excited. How are you? I'm excited to talk to you. Yeah. I'm here for a call. Talk to you guys. I have so many questions about Philadelphia that are non-sexual, but let's take care of your sexual growing first. Yeah, tell me what's going on. Break this down for me. Yeah, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for like three years, and we're in different cities now. We don't get to see each other that much but he was visiting me a couple months ago and we were having sex and everything

was great. We actually both had orgasms around the same time which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen. Never happened. And right afterwards I sat up and I just started wiling up with tears. It was the weirdest thing. I wasn't necessarily feeling super sad or happy or anything. I was just feeling really overwhelmed and never happened to me before. So I was just wondering if you've ever heard of the whole like that. Yes, absolutely. I'm so glad that you asked this question because it's really, really common for women to cry. I've done it.

It's happened to a lot of women. Did they call it post-cuddle dysphoria? So there's nothing to... That's like the name for it. That's like the clinical term for it, but there's nothing to worry about. And typically, it comes just because our emotions, our hormones are racing, and there's like the name for it. That's like the clinical term for it, but there's nothing to worry about. And typically it comes just because like our emotions, our hormones are racing, and there's like a whole,

like they flood your body during sex, like when you're having intercourse, right? So we've really tense emotions. So it's not that you're necessarily happy or sad. It's just kind of like, it's such a release. We don't realize it. How much it takes to have an orgasm, like our body is the build up.

Maybe you missed your boyfriend because you haven't seen him. Yeah, I was going to ask all the stuff. It's missing in closeness. Yeah. Separation, you know, has that been bothering you at all? It's been, I mean, we were a long distance for an entire year and then we lived closer to one another and now we're split up again.

So we don't get to see each other that much. So I was wondering maybe that had something to do with that. I was just kind of overwhelmed. I mean, really happy, but kind of. I mean, I'm excited. I mean, I do think about it when you're not having sex. I mean, really happy, but kind of... I'm excited. Yeah, overwhelmed. Being... Incommit again.

About the... What did you say? Do you think about it while you're not having sex about how you miss seeing each other as often? Yeah, I mean, I'm also in law school, so I'm really stressed about it. Oh my God. So, yeah, exactly.

I think just all the emotions of like finally having him back here and kind of being... Maybe it was just like a stressed release and kind of absolute and overwhelmed Feeling of emotion from that too. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure it was you you've had a lot about a lot bottled up You haven't seen him in a while and also it's very common in fact I found a study 230 female college students revealed that half of them 46 46% have cried during or after orgasm. So it's comments happening. I actually like what happens because I'm not a big cryer, but if I cry, it's like I'm sad, it just feels like, oh my god, it's intense, it's a release.

It could be because of all these things that have been bottled up, but there's nothing wrong, you know, nothing wrong with you. It's a common thing and sometimes men, sometimes men cry too. They don't, you're right. They really don't talk about that. That's why I'm glad you asked. I was like, oh, yeah, that's happened to me. And most women, you know, I've heard from our friends, I've talked to you. Yeah, it's happened to them. So I think it just, you know, you're good. Yeah. Are you from Philadelphia? Are you just going to have the food there? Yeah. No, I'm from I'm from another part of the state, but I go to school here. So it's awesome. It's

a cool city. Now is it? Genose or Pats or pets you know I don't think that either of them are that good I know it's Philly she's take you course I'm just I'm just saying right now pets all day that's all I got to say about that all day also Philadelphia has a beautiful Ruth Chris. I'm just highly recommended. What? Ruth, because you can't do that anyway. Yeah, I'm just saying.

Very nice people with that. You want that with Chris. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying,

I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, You're in a cool city. You're a cool city. He's a dating great guy. You're a law school. Congratulations. I think it's all going well. It's just, yeah, it is a really so of emotions and you probably should, you know, find other ways to release stress as well.

It's actually a law school. It's so intense. I need that. Yeah, so you're all good. Thanks for calling Jessica. I appreciate it. Thank you guys. Have a good one.

Bye. Bye. Have you ever went to check and she cried after sex? Uh, trying to think. Probably. Do you usually pass that back? Yeah, I'm usually pass that back. Uh, trying to think. Probably. Do you usually pass that back time? Yeah, I'm usually pass that back time.

She has more gas in your sleeping. Most likely she cried that she even had sex with her. Exactly. So probably like 90% of them cried. Right. You know, didn't pay attention. Beating yourself off. So, gassed out after I'm just like,

right, passed out. You know what happened? Right, no, I have. I certainly have many times, I'd say, over the years, as long as I have execs, often. That's fun. It is fun. Like, I feel, and again, it feels to me

because I'm not a big cryer. I do experience having anxiety. I feel like when I do, it just gets like this real, like, release. Totally healthy. So if your partner cries, totally fine. Just hand him to share. Don't worry about it.

Call it a day. Okay, man, it's still one. We've got Kim. She's 19 from Virginia and she wants to know how to give a blowjob that will leave her fiance wanting more. Okay. Love blowjob questions.

Sweet. Hi, Kim. Hi. Hi. I'm here with menace. Hello. Hi. And we are all about how can you have a better,

have a better, give a better blowjob. Tell me what's going on. How do you know that your blowjob right now is not even already back in? Hold on, can I ask a question? I want to see. Please, let's go ahead. You're 19.

You have a fiance. You live in Virginia. Is your fiance in the military? He's not. Oh, damn it. I thought I was going to get that one right. All right, sorry. How long have you guys been together?

For about a year and a half right now. OK. So the situation is that he's the first person I've How many of you guys have been together? For about a year and a half right now. Okay. So the situation is that he is my first, he's the first person I've ever been with intimately, but he's had partners before me. He's a little bit older than me. Okay.

So there's already that difference of experience there. Right. But I definitely have a real desire, like I really want to please him and make him feel good. And he's really good at doing that for me. But whenever we're being intimate and I'm giving him giving him head or anything like that, he stops at some point and will usually ask me to just use my hands. So I'm if the impression that it's not

enjoyable for him, in some ways. OK. So I'm not exactly sure. Have you asked him what it is? I do have a small amount. Have you asked him? Have you asked him? Because let's have him do make assumptions.

Maybe he doesn't like blow jobs, which I know. That's rare. But has he said to you, like, or have you asked him? Said to feed for feedback. And not really. Not about that. We talk about other things, but I haven't asked him directly about that I don't want to come across and secure even though I get it

He knows you definitely. I'm gonna I'm gonna hit you with a lot of tips right now I just wanted to find out exactly so make make assumptions sometimes go ahead Yeah, I know I bombed on the is the in the military question, but what else you can bomb on? How much pressure are you applying? You know, because if you want the hands, that means there's more pressure. Pressure with the hands, yeah. But with your mouth, how much pressure are you applying?

Is it kind of just like hovering in there? Are you- Well, I'm gonna leave stock, like using stock. Yeah, just stock. It's suction, it's your hands, so here's the thing. It's so much of it is about, well number one, it's about enthusiasm, okay? So I get that you're probably nervous right now

and you're probably your brain and your head going, oh my god, am I doing it right? Is this right? But it's really how you like, how into it you are. So like you're licking it, like it's like the most delicious icing cone you've ever had and it's like 95 degrees out and you do not want a drop. You don't want to miss a drop, right?

Like if it drops on the side, like you're like, oh my god, I want that. Like you're like after it and miss a drop, right? Like if it drops on the side, you're like, oh my God, I want that. Like you're like after it and you want it, right? And just how you look doing it, like how being into it. So that's one thing. So I get that also again, so once you, but once we help you with some of these tips, it may help you be a little more enthusiastic.

So once you get that down, the pressure is important. And remember that your mouth is small, but that's fine because a lot of a blowjob actually has to do with using your hands. And you can actually use your mouth at the tip to like lick around the tip and use your hand like going up and down with your mouth like like keep your hand there and have your mouth you can either leave your mouth on the tip and you have your hand just going up and down make sure you use lube too do you have any lubricant? Yes, lubeob. Wetter is better. You could also put some loob on your lips.

Like I love Joe. Joe makes, we sell these loobs on our website. It's Joe Loobs and they have like strawberry and like chocolate caramel. Taste amazing. You put like a little bit around your lips and then you just go down and then his penis tastes like, you know, half of a Sunday.

And then your lips are super moist and moist. I don't think I've ever said that not on purpose on the show. It's wet, slippery, and you're moving up and down. And so that would be one way for someone to feel amazing to him and you know that you're wet enough. But the pressure is, so if you're worried about that, you can either just use your hand with your mouth

at the top or have your lips follow up and down with your hand. You know what I'm saying? So like, you know, you're constantly playing pressure. But don't you have a lot of the stuff on sex at le. saying? So like, you know, you're constantly playing pressure. But- Don't you have a lot of the stuff on sex family.com? There is a lot of the stuff at sex family.com. We've got a podcast called Stake Blow Jobs in the Inalexploration. Oh wow.

And then we got more of the stuff. But also, I'm sure you have art articles. Play with his balls. Yeah, that's true. I'm sure. Things like that. That's true. No, I'm the same as the reference after she gets off the phone. Yeah, we have a lot of great articles on this.

The other thing is um don't forget his balls. He might like his balls played with with light pressure. We actually have a new blog post about the balls and then also I want you to just start with the basics. I'm not gonna give you so much right now because you're starting out but if you practice and you just remember keeping it wet the pressure and being into it, you're going to do fine. Okay, well thank you guys so much for your help. Thank you. I'm going to check out that.

Okay cool. Shout out to Virginia. You got this, honey. I swear. Okay, thank you. It's a practice. Bye. It's cool.

Yeah, it is cool, right? Because I think that a lot of girls, right? They still don't like that. I just want to give it to you. That's all they want to know. How do I give a blowjob? And if you haven't given one before, how are you going to know? Yeah, and again, if you want us to call, go to sexathomely.com and click on Ask Emily. All the contact information is there.

Okay, ready, menace? First, email. All right. Hi, Emily. Quick question for you. What do you think of males who wear thong underwear daily? I'm a male who absolutely loves wearing thong underwear. They give you the best support in my opinion.

Thankfully, my wife enjoys being them. Just wanna know what your thoughts are on the subject. Thank you, Hector B, 28, California. All right. You do you, man. I don't know. I've not seen a man in a thong. Personally, like in my own vision, been with the guy.

But your wife's into it. You feel great in it. You should be absolutely zero-quested right now. Your partner's into it and you love it. I think that's awesome. I think that's hot. A man who feels sexy in whatever he's doing is hot. Remember, confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear.

And you're rocking the thongs. I got no problem. You know, not to pimp out sponsors or anything like that, but I actually have, on the Woody show, have an underwear sponsor and they're freaking amazing. They're called me undies. Have you heard of me undies? Yeah, they used to be a sponsor of mine.

So, oh no. It's a cool thing. Well, they came on over to me and I absolutely love them. They're super soft, they rule. So, if you want a discount, me undies.com, sash, what do you show? But no, they're made by a micro-loadal. They go deep in the jungle and find the cereal. I remember the whole thing. I have two chairs. I'll talk to them. I'll say that you're a friend of mine. Tell them to come back. I love them. They set me t-shirts under it. Meandys are

that. And they're cotton and they breathe. Yeah. Because that's why a lot of women, here's a note for a lot of women and men. If you forget bacterial infections, you find yourself getting even bumps after the gym, you get bumps in your butt, all of this stuff is because you're not wearing breathable cotton underwear, which is important. It's amazing. And do they make thongs, am I on this? They do. I don't know if they have male thongs though.

I don't know. Go to the website. Mandy's.com social. You're cool, Hector. We love it. We love you. Hey Emily, I've listened to your show for a while. I know that one of your main tips for women who have an experienced orgasm is to masturbate

so they know what they like. I've only sat with a handful of people, but every time I have, I haven't had an orgasm. Even with oral sex, I find it difficult to come. I'm trying to practice more by myself, so I have a better idea on how to instruct my partner, but I don't know where to start. Any tip for any masturbation groups, I could do on my own or anything else that will help. Thanks Marie, age 21 from Canada. See? Every day there's someone who's just learning a masturbate.

It's amazing. Yeah, because I get it Marie. If you sit down just like trying to have an orgasm and you're like, what's happening? If your brain isn't on board with what's going on to actually like, for example, men say, ask me earlier, what did I think about when I started to masturbate?

I was a year younger than you, Marie, as 20. And I was like, this does not feel good. Like it just to touch yourself, you know, feels good when someone else scratch your back, but when you scratch your back, it doesn't feel as good. It's kind of like that with masturbation unless unless you start getting you have to set the mood, you have to like make sure that you turn off your cell phone, like turn on your favorite, you know, your music, light some candles.

This might sound silly, but you wanted to do it yourself. It's almost like setting that scene where you've got just no one's going to come in the room. You're locking the door and you feel like safe and you feel comfortable. And I would say start to like, read Arotica, watch porn, think about a sexy moment. Like the last time you were with your boyfriend or think about things that you'd like to happen.

And then when you're starting to masturbate, you've gotta use Loub. Yeah. I think I'm really like that my dream, does this side note of a Loub whenever night's stand, is actually gonna come to fruition. Like I feel like almost every emo we get are colors like about the loop, I got the loop, and it's because it's true. Like, you need it for every sexual act, masturbation when you're alone,

anal sex, oral sex. It's like, what the hell? Yeah. So anyway, use some loop and just start out by not having an end goal in mind, Marie, because it might take you a while to, it might take you several times, it might take you a few months to have an orgasm, but don't think about this as like, I need to have an orgasm and then I'm out. Think about it as like exploratory. So like touching your nipples, like rubbing your hands over your body and just finding out what makes you feel good. The clitoris is where all the magic happens, it's true or a lot of the magic, you know, 8,000 nerve endings, but you don't want to go right for that. It's like you tease your thigh and your thighs and you play with it. There's like literal legs that extend into your labia.

So I would just get to get familiar with your body. You can buy sex toys. That always helps too. A great starter vibe. I would say is God, anything from We vibe. I love the We vibe. Touch the new We vibe wish. Yeah.

It's in the wish yet. It's. I've heard about it. It's in the wish yet. I've heard about it. It's amazing. I look at me. I'm like, it's so be excluded. You're like tearing up for this. I just love it.

It's a great vibe for, I think it's a good beginner vibe too, because you can tease yourself with it, and it's a great handheld vibe. And it actually is meant to work with your external literal nerves and your internal literal nerves. Who knew, right? All these clear, starting.

So I would say in reach to that, we've got tons of stuff on the website about masturbation. We'll continue to be posting things all month, but there's great tips on the website. There's one called on a masturbation mission. You can Google that on the website, check out that blog. I do think that you're right that Marie, even though your partner is doing oral and doing all that stuff

and you got to figure it out on your own. So you're right, just keep going, stick with it. Everything that's worth having takes a little bit of work, a little bit of time. Hi Emily, I've been with my girlfriend. She's also 24 for a year and a little bit. For the first 10 months, we had sex every day. And since then, since about January,

we haven't had sex at all. We had a conversation in January about it where she told me that she loves me. She wants to be with me. She wants to mirror me one day, but she had to tell me that she never actually wanted to have sex, not with me, and not with anyone she was with before me. She believed she's asexual, she told me that she's been having sex with me because she thought that's what she was supposed to do, or that she'd lose me if we didn't.

I feel devastated because I would never ever want to have sex with someone who didn't want to have sex with me. Number two, because I never had any idea about any of this. And three, what would this mean going forward? I love this girl. I care about her. She's taught me so much. So my first question is, if I'm in love with who I think she is, and the otherwise

perfect girl for me, do I stay, or do I walk away because of lack of sex? I've been trying to answer this question since January. I've talked to friends. I don't want to do. Do you have any thoughts? I love your show. I love you guys. Peter, age 24, from New York. That is, wow.

Situation I never even heard of. Yeah, asexual. It's a real thing, like you could, okay, so we've got that. More C claims to be asexual. Yeah, though, it's true. Some people truly are asexual, meaning they don't, you know, they really like don't have sexual desire for anyone, for a member of the opposite sex or same sex or anyone at all.

Transgender doesn't matter. They're not interested in having sex. But I'm not sure that this is what's happening, okay, Peter? She's 24. And I'm just not sure they could, there just could be a lot of other things. As she talked to a doctor, it could be like a hormonal imbalance. She could be really stressed. I mean, a lot of times when we're really stressed or we're anxious about life as you might be in our 20s, you just shut down.

Like, you're just not in touch. I think I never masturbated because I was just had a stressful childhood. I think I wasn't like, I was shut off of my body. You know, I didn't think so. I feel like if you're bringing it again, she's got a lot going on. That's probably why she's saying that. She could be, who knows though, it could be a whole host of things, but you asked me the question, Peter, and she sounds amazing, but you're 24 years old, sex is a really important part of a relationship,

and I don't think that, you know, that this is the person that you need to be with, if sex is a really big priority to you, as it is to many people, to kind of crack this code with her and figure out, is she, is she not? Yeah. I feel like when you're ready,

you've got to probably have to part ways because it seems like she's going through some stuff right now. I know. You can't just be with someone. She's like a tough, tough road to go through. It is a tough road and I feel like when you just, especially when you start seeing somebody, you guys, I would ever want to look at this, okay? If you're dating someone and there's like some major problems in the first six months

to a year, probably not the right relationship to be in right now. You shouldn't be having major sex problems or major fighting or like dealing with family issues. It's supposed to not say it's gonna be perfect, okay? But it's gotta be like pretty good. Like the things that you both drive on, like at least you both like to have sex. So you both, and you're saying the first nine months she did like it. So I get that, but I'm saying like, this is, this is the major. The having a sexual like, different is in this is, this is one that I don't think you're saying the first nine months she did like it, so I get that. But I'm saying, this is the major. The having a sexual, like, different does, and this is one that I don't think you're

going to solve. And you're young, you're 24. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be okay. It'll be fine. Everything's going to be okay. You're good.

We're good. Okay. That's what we got time for, my Ness. No, so much fun to hang out with you. I know. Right? Yes. Yeah, it's party.

I love the calls, the emails, all kinds of stuff. It's amazing. I know I love it too. It's great. I feel like I'm seeing you more often. It's amazing. Happy masturbation month. Happy masturbation. Next time I see you, you're gonna have to report back to me how it's progressing.

I'm gonna make you bring something for your girlfriend home. For me, a rabbit, not even for you. I think it's time. And also you guys, don't cringe at this. Remember, Mother's Day is coming up so you could be like a new mom, grandmother, don don't forget the wonderful moms the all the moms in your life Hey moms have sex to we might want to spice things up. They might want to have some loob my mom She's gonna kill you but she did us email me to send her some loob. She's in her seventies. So hey

Sorry, right sex toys whatever. We've got a website sex tell me calm. We also have an amazing box Remember you always say we share a box. It's called it's an unbound box on our website. It's a mutual masturbation box. It is epic, you guys. Check out Instagram, because I'll be showing you what's in this box. It's my box.

I like my box. You can get new guys gifts and treats and fun things like that. So check it out. Happy masturbation month. Thank you, minus I love you. And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com.