Sex With Emily - How to Get the Foreplay You Crave

Episode Date: November 23, 2016

A wise man once said that expectations hinder experience, and that’s certainly true when it comes to things between the sheets. On today’s show Emily and Menace are answering your emails AND voicemails, providing advice and, occasionally, a much-needed reality check. Is your partner falling short in the foreplay department? What’s the best way to get yourself (or a lover) into the mood? And how important are common interests in a lasting relationship? Emily tackles these topics, talks a listener through a case of post-dick pic panic and even shares her top picks from arousal-boosting erotica. This podcast has answers to questions you didn’t even know you had, so don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're answering your emails and voicemails. Are you suffering from post-dick pick panic? What's the best way to get your partner to step up their foreplay game? How can you help your partner get in the mood post-baby? Plus tips to help you get started with fantasizing. All this and more, thanks for listening. You know, hi, I'm always encouraging you to get a little more adventurous in the bedroom?

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To check out this or any of the other fun sportcheats products, click the sportscheats banner on my website or visit sportcheats.com. That's s-p-o-r-t-s-h-e-e-t-s.com. Hey, Abelie, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta understand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, all right? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. So love staying connected with all of you.

And now it's easier than ever to keep up with me and support the show at the same time. Just go to sexwithemily.com. So love staying connected with all of you. And now it's easier than ever to keep up with me and support the show at the same time. Just go to sex with Emily.com. Easily subscribe there. We put everything in your fingertips. So you can subscribe to the newsletter or social media. And most importantly subscribe to the podcast. We love that. You can also shop my store and support our great sponsors who help keep this show free. And also, you know, I only talk about products that I love and that I use and that I think you will like as well. And we also just have amazing content on the site that we update every single day and it's all at sexwithemily.com and at sex with Emily on all social media.

And also we're starting to Facebook live. I'm so into I'm here with Mattis BGW who I would see in like six months. It's been forever actually actually dog years. The beginning of October. I believe that's a long time. Yeah, it has been a long time. I know I missed your face. I'm so happy to see you and I want you to know that everything you tell us to do. We do implement now you didn't tell us but you've been talking about Facebook live. Yes, we're so excited about we did our first one a few weeks ago. If you like the sex with Emily Page, you can check that out. You can also, you can find out more information there. And I'm sure you're subscribed to our newsletter or if you're on Twitter or Snapchat or Facebook,

all that stuff, we announced it. But we're trying to do it right, Madison, on Tuesdays, 11.30 Pacific Serentime this week, it's going to be on Friday. So it might move around a bit. So just what? 12.30 Pacific Serentime. Cool. Yeah.

I don't even know when we... Facebook will notify them when it goes live. Oh, yeah. If you're like, what's this live thing? It's pretty cool. I actually got high for I felt high madness Like not marijuana high, but I felt like like that kind of high like I mean I wasn't high But I felt high because I got there was like 9,000 people watching it once we got all these questions I answered it in real time. I got type Madison. It was a great half hour I got to say I want to do it all the time every day.

That's great. That's why I feel about it. So check that out. And then also, we are doing a Dream Loop survey. Because Joe, I gave you some Joe Loop, I think, Matt. Yeah, you did. Thank you. They asked me, like, what would your Dream Loop be?

Because I always talk about Loop. So they're helping me make one. But I thought, I kind of get your help. So we started this survey, and you guys, the responses have been amazing. It takes like five minutes. You go to sexwithmley.com slash dream Loub. Very short survey.

I love your responses. It's so helpful. We've got this. We're gonna create this amazing Loub. Oh my God, you're gonna die. And 10 lucky participants will receive a Joe package which worth a hundred bucks. They got good stuff.

Okay, so that's all my announcements. I gotta catch up with the menace. I know what that has been going on. Dude, I don't even know where to start. I'm like, what do you mean October? It's like. Yeah, so last time I talked to you, you're leaving, you're going to Amsterdam.

Amsterdam, Germany. It was so fun. I went with Wevibe because they, I love them. And they were doing this. Aerophame is the largest sex industry conference in Europe. So you know how I always go to a bunch of sex industry conferences here and you see me with like the large dildos. But this is the only one in Germany.

And so it was amazing. First of all, it was very organized, very neat, very clean. It was in this massive, massive conference hall. And just going around seeing all the, you know, the toys there and the products and it was really fun I have to say we were in Hanover, which like I literally was like Hanover Germany, where is that? But really it's known for conferences. So I feel like I like check off the box of that one But they launched their new product the sink which is the couples toy which I've been talking about because I'm obsessed with it They've we've always been known for their couples toy. You've heard me talk about them for years

You wear it during sex, but now they've got this new one. It actually stays in place when you're wearing it and you can use it your app and like vibe, your partner or panty vibe, it was really fun. I loved Germany, but I loved Amsterdam, but I was only there for a day and a half, which was kind of skewed. I was in Germany for five in Amsterdam,

but and it was mostly work, but I had like a night by myself where I just wandered the streets of Amsterdam. I didn't mind doing a San Francisco. It was super fun. It was a low, like I liked it kind of. I just explored the red light district, all that stuff. And then I went to San Francisco

because I did my somatic training, which is now complete. It's been five weeks I know. And I'm not even ready to fully get into it now, but just I have to say that this work that Celeste Danielle do, I think, is such a service. And then I even feel like the reason why I did it was because I feel like it's important to always be growing and learning and, you know, therapeutically and learning as far as like, sexual exercises that we can do, I can do and that you can all do.

So I've been sharing a lot of that information, but it was transformative. That's what I'm going to say now. I'm not going to get into all of. So I've been sharing a lot of that information, but it was transformative. That's what I'm gonna say now. I'm not gonna get into all of it, but there'll be more coming. And also I had Pam on the show, who's a student in my class. She's also a teacher. She was here a few weeks ago.

And I think that showed us, came out, and she's talking about that. But it was, it was good. I liked being in our town. I've been great traveling in going to Mexico on Saturday. Oh, what? It's vacation. Nice.

Well, all this has been amazing for work I need a little vacate so I'm going with my friends from San Francisco You know how we go to say it's over here. So this is our trip with the ex-boyfriend But he's like not even an accident or he's such more the friend and a group of us so nice I love Mexico really my last trip to Mexico was Riviera Maya and that has to be one of my favorite Locations in Mexico so far. I love it. Where do you stay?

I've been there. I went to the Hard Rock at Riviera Maya and it's the brand new area of the Hard Rock adults only, all inclusive. I love adults only. Everything talks on it. You can get a great deal online so make sure you search that out. But highly, highly recommend it. They have like legoons everywhere,

so you're swimming in the ocean, but you're not. So you're not like... You're not gonna go out to sea. Yeah, you're not gonna go out to sea, so the ocean feeds all these legoons. It's super cool, there's fish everywhere. Oh, and that was a vacation. That was a good one.

Yeah, that was good. That was good. And you brought your little puppy today. Yeah, chimmy's here today. Chimmy's so cute. We'll post these pictures, but while they're on, you're not gonna be seeing this now, cause it's an Instagram, but I love a puppy today. Yeah, chimmy's here today. So cute post these pictures, but while they're on it, you're not going to be see this now because Instagram, but I love it.

Yeah, go to Instagram. Instagram.com slash sex with Emily. But yeah, I, uh, I've been like all over. I know. It's crazy. I'm happy. Yeah, October. So we always do like a crazy amount of things. October. So, uh, a lot of people are already dope,

but I'm part of a morning show in Los Angeles called The Woody Show. It's on Alt 987. And every year we do like this crazy list of things of for my birthday, they call it the, you know, birthday month. So I got to go Snapchat offices, go to Hulu. I went to Hawaii.

I see. Oh my god, off to our birthday. Yeah, for my birthday. It's like a big birthday or you like? No, no, no, it's just the birthday month. I'm 37. Oh my god, I'll throw a birthday. Yeah, from a birthday. Is it like a big birthday or are you like? No, no, no, it's just the birthday month. I'm 37. Oh my god, it's so good. Oh, but you're so grown up.

Yeah, you're like a full on adult now. I know, right? Jesus, and you even act like one. So that's good. That's right. So yeah, I got to stay in Hawaii at the four seasons for 200 bucks a night. Shut up. Expedia, I'm telling you guys.

The one in Molleah? The one that's right next to Elani, like outside of Honolulu. Oh, you weren't Honolulu. Okay, I got it. So cool. And it's funny, kids. I have to cess with the four seasons.

I want to live there. Yeah, there's a celebrity event that was going on. And so I'm like walking through and I go, wait a minute, that's Matthew McConaney, hey right there. So he's like there at the bar watching one of his own commercials on TV and smiling, because he's probably like, oh man, I'm probably making a couple million off that.

And then I look over and then there's a rapper named Flow Rider and a couple other actors. Yeah. You talked to Matthew McConney? I didn't bug him because he was with kids. There's a celebrity that's with kids I will not talk to them right I met him once at a party nice And I actually got his phone number. There's like 15 years ago and

But nothing ever happened. I'm just telling you those my keys like a huge crush. I had for a long time. Oh really Yeah, I never Talk about it. He's a married kids and not gonna bring him down But yeah, it was a great time and then so anyways, I just wanted to say also, you know, we have listeners all over the world here. If you happen to live in St. Louis in Missouri, the morning show that I'm part of is on 6 to 10 a.m. now on a new station called Alt 104 9.

So right now, Alt 104 104 9 please tell a friend Every single morning money through Friday 6 to 10 you get to hear menace for four hours a day four hours That's amazing, and it's a good show. It's fun. I was on it. That was super. That was a blast good for you guys So it's great and then after New Year's We're gonna mention a bunch of other cities that we're gonna be on that we're just in the testing right now So Missouri in LA. So thank you everybody. We'll tweet that out too. And whatever we do Facebook. We out here. I'll do a naked billboard. Whatever you need, men, as to, you know, me, you're already doing well, but I'm just saying whatever I can do.

Sweet. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, well, I don't even know. God. Happy to see you. I think we should just move on to section. Yes. I have a lot to talk to, but it's all going to come. It's like almost like you're like, I'm so overwhelmed with happiness seeing you and I feel like we need to have the show and it'll just come up in time. I'm overwhelmed with happiness. We out here. And thank you everybody. A lot of listeners, I was like, they'll only tweet me all the time. They're listening to old episodes. I love it and people are like, I'm something, I like that medicine on the show.

That's what they like about it. I was funny. I asked, what do you like? They're like, mentists. Thank you. I know. I was like, really? That's cool.

All right, sex and news. The quality of your sex life is all in your attitude. Research shows. I love this. I feel like if I was going to commission a study, this is the study I would have commissioned and this is what I hope I would find out. So I'm very excited about this,

because this is actually what I preach and what I believe. It might seem like common sense that if you've great chemistry with someone, you'll have great sex with them too. But a series of studies published in the journal of personality and social psychology suggest that good sex actually takes work. And believing it doesn't hurt,

doesn't, believing it doesn't can hurt couples in and outside the bedroom. So they're saying that yes, sex takes work. If you believe that sex should just happen to be amazing all the time, you're gonna have some challenges in the bedroom. So it was a University of Toronto study and it basically, it was 1900 people

and it said the more people believe that great sex required practice, the happier they and their partners were study and it basically it was 1900 people and it said the more people believe the great sex required practice the happier they and their partners were and in their sex and their relationships. However, on the other hand, people that believe like, oh, the sparks are going to fly, it's going to be amazing. Whenever I get in bed with someone, found that these people are more likely to feel like their sex lives were lacking.

So people with this belief, which they call them the sexual destiny people, they think their relationship suffers more when they have conflicting desires. So if you believe that it's a barometer like for your sex life and how it's doing, like it's just destiny, we have to see how, you know, we don't connect, we don't have chemistry today, I'm gonna kick you out the door,

they're not gonna be happy. But when you look at relationship as it's gonna take growth, it's gonna take work, we know it can get better. We can work on problems together and get through it. They're going to have better sex because An instant connection with someone is usually what brings us together, but as we often say on the show, it's true. It only sustains couples during the first two to three years of your relationship. That's how long it's going to last you guys. It's biology and after two to three years, the work's gonna come in, but it's fun work.

It's like, oh, I noticed we're not having sex as much. So what can we do to make this fun? Or I noticed that you don't seem like we're turned on when we talk about this in the show all the time. So really, it's just saying, it's cooperating when I said I didn't have to pay for the study. So that makes me happy. It does.

Because people were like, oh, the chemistry's not there, so I won't have an affair. Or oh, you know, she never has an orgasm. I'm at fault. No, there's always going to be challenges in your sex life. And that's why I exist here to help you with it. Sexamely.com. It's all right. Oh, real quick. I gave you a shout out today. Thank you. On the radio, before I forget to tell you this morning, I don't know, there were reading some news story about how some guy developed an app to,

for your like your K-goles and stuff like that. And then so I like, I said, you don't want that app, you want K-gol-cam. Yeah. And so I shout it out K-gol-cam. Thank you, I appreciate it. I do have an app called K-gol-cam, which it's funny how many people

when once you download and you stick with the program five minutes a day doing kegels for men and for women same way. It's a reminder app. So it reminds you and then my voice walks you through it. Yeah. And there's 20 levels and you will have for men. You can last longer in bed, stronger orgasms for women. Same thing like after child birth. They're just in general. If you want to like more g-spot orgasms, get more in the mood, get that sexual energy. That's the thing. Get your energy flowing like for a lot of women. We get shut down sometimes like our rouse will we're like I don't feel very sexy and the thing about doing your kegels regularly however you do with my app or not is that you're

breathing into that area. You're really like focusing on your pelvic floor and so you're tightening the muscles by doing that and moving breath through that area, you're like waking it up. So you're gonna get aroused. You know, you're gonna have to sit and masturbate when you do your cathodic, you can do more, but you are,

but it will start that erotic energy. Moving through your body. I threw shade on the other app and I said that. Forget, I don't even know that another app exists. It's like, who's your competition? I'm like, nobody does anything like I do. I'm fine. That I won't shout out your app.

No, I'm saying. I'm saying. No. It's not a big deal. No, I'm saying. I'm saying, no. It's not a big deal. No, I'm saying it's a big deal. I appreciate it. I can't even believe that someone else even tries to do an app. That's a good thing.

No, I love that you did that. Yes. I appreciate it. I shout your ass out. I appreciate it. Dude, so that's what we got. Anything else, sex and news that you can think up besides this other imposter?

Sex and the news. what has been going on lately other than America going freaking out already everything? But besides all that kind of stuff, I'm just thinking that my sex life is great. It's really busy, you know, because the radio show I'm part of is getting syndicated. And then we've been traveling. But together, but that's like fun.

Yeah, but we travel everywhere, of course, Las Vegas. And we're planning on, we're trying to go to Europe in December, but I don't know if that's going to work out because it was so busy, but probably maybe Mexico or everything. And then people, they listen to this, they think like, oh, you must be super rich. Like, no, if you spend the time online and look for deals, you can find the deals that work for you. That's true, where do you go?

You go to like, or a visitor. Expedia, yeah. Expedia is good. Yeah, no, you're right, I get deals for everything, dude, yeah. Yeah. No, sorry, I'm sorry. You can all make it happen in the increasingly manner. It's been can all make it happen. It's been an amazing amount of time. For relationships too, right?

It's important to get away from everything. And then, yeah. And the way you do it. All you do is have sex, eat, drink, alcohol, if you're into that. If you're into that sort of thing. Yeah, and then relax and hang out. That's good.

We seem really relaxed. Also, you can blaze the weed in California too. Starting now, right? Can you really do it now? Like really, it's not like legal today, but. No, I think it's gonna be, because they have to set up the infrastructure, so it's gonna be some time next year.

Well, that would be good. I'm gonna be like a vacation in your head every day. Yeah, so I think it's their Nevada, a couple other states, they can do that. And then, that's just some upsides of the election. I know a lot of people are anti-weed, but having sex on your high feels pretty good. For some people, if you're not reliant on it,

it's true that it can kind of get you into your body, because a lot of the, I'm not gonna prescribe that to everyone because people out here make your paranoid and crazy. But it is true that for some, a lot of people, it can take you out of your head and into your sensations. Because what would you describe having sex in your high for you? Why is it better?

Or why does enhanced experience? I think the sensitivity for me, it's just hanging crazy. Your skin feels good. I don't know what it is to be on XSEA. and your skin feels good. I don't know what it is to be on XSE.