Sex With Emily - How to Learn From Past Lovers

Episode Date: January 14, 2017

We all learn lessons from our sexual pasts, but how do you know what tips to take and what to  leave behind? On this show, Emily is taking your calls and doling out advice to help you overcome lingering sex insecurities for a hotter new year. Are your penis size hang ups holding you back in the bedroom? Did a negative review leave you doubting your smooching skills? And what do you do when your married sex life has hit a 9 year drought? Emily answers all these questions and more, and even gives an important lesson on how to silence the slut-shamers in your life. Whether you’re a grower, a show-er or are just a little too timid with your tongue, this show has tips to help you take control of your sex life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm taking your calls and answering all your love and sex questions. Topics include, what to do when you find yourself seven years into a sexless marriage? How to cope with an FWB situation gone wrong? Tips for overcoming penis insecurities and stepping up your kissing skills? Plus, what's with all this slut shaming? Come on. Get the answers to all this and more. Thanks for listening.

Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard.

Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so so so so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. When we're having a party there on the website, I'm sure you've been there to check it out. Because God, we have so many more viewers on the site now. But we post stuff every day, we post the podcast, blogs, things that will just help you have better sex and subscribe to the podcast. Check us out on social media.

I can't stop myself from Snapchat and Instagram and all that fun stuff. And okay, I know it's January. It's still like, you know, how many days after the first can you talk about in years? I think you get the whole month pretty much. So, well, first of all, in today's show, we're gonna be taking your calls, which is exciting. We've been doing more and more of that.

So, when you send us your emails, you can just say, hey, I'd like to be called. So that's a little option on our website when you go to the Ask Emily tab. So that's what's gonna happen in today's show, but first, again, it still is a new year in my mind, okay? So I was thinking about the last year, which was incredible in so many ways,

but I was trying to flash back to last January. And I thought one of my, one of the things I committed to, if you don't feel great about like resolutions, people think it's kind of like a javvy way to like make changes in your life, just because it's January 1st. But I like to think about it. Like, a year had gone by and what did I want to change?

And I really wanted to focus on actually doing my Kegel exercises. Now, you know that I have always been sort of obsessed with them the last five years. I think I launched my Kegel Camp app in like 2012. So it was always something it was like, and I did that app because I thought I never remember to do them.

So if you download the app, it like sets a daily reminder. And that did help me. Okay, like I started doing them more regularly. I was like, oh, I love it. I am time for kegel camp. So I like that, but I, so that helped. But the other thing that happened last year

is that I got the intensity. So the intensity is the kind of a miracle product that you just, you put it in, looks like a rabbit vibrator, but it actually does your exercises for you. So I just lay back, I do it for like 10 minutes a day. And I would say that in the last year, I wanna say I did it every day,

but who really does anything every day? Okay, it can't beat ourselves up. When you're like, I'm going to exercise every day of our life. We don't really do that. But I'd say at the beginning, it was probably six or seven days a week and then later on the year, probably three to four times a week.

And I'm just telling you guys, having like kegels of steel, it's an amazing feeling. I walk right, I feel like I'm super woman. And let me tell you why, because when your kegels are strong, and you man can do them too, but unfortunately, you can't use the intensity,

because you can't insert it into you. But when you have strong kegels, I feel like, first of all, my G-spot orgasms come so much easier because it's not going out like a literal orgasm. And sometimes you sneeze and you pee, or you laugh and you pee, or your texts and your pee that just happens as a woman, like sometimes it doesn't happen anymore. And I used to brace for it, but I'm sneezing Sometimes you sneeze and you pee, or you laugh and you pee, or you're texts and you pee that just happens as a woman.

Like sometimes it doesn't happen anymore. And I used to brace for it, but I'm sneezing and nothing happens. So I'd say it also has helped me want to, just I don't know, it gets my body more prime for sex and more, I'm more in touch with my body and I feel like when I do have sex, which I'm gonna get to in a minute,

I don't know, it's just been better. So I'm really proud of that that I followed through that this year. So I was thinking about some resolutions, commitments, we could all make this year together and you know, around sex and relationships. And so this was my year of being single mostly. Like I have to say, I probably had sex fewer times this year that I've had in my life and I'm totally okay with that because I can fact remember all of them very well. And also, I talked about this in a previous show how I really did take

time to just be single and I wasn't like dying for a relationship and I just, you know, it's really good to think and reflect of like what you want in a relationship, you know, what you're looking for next, what went wrong in previous relationships. But I was thinking about the sex I had this year and I thought, you know what? Some of it was great. Okay. You all heard about my Latin lover. I talked a lot about that.

I won a show. It was called Cybersex, Latin lovers and happy endings and he was so good. He was like this. He knew, in fact, he knew all about the pelvic floor and Kaggle, he was like, he was so good. He was like this. He knew, in fact, he knew all about the pelvic floor. And he was like, he was a tantric master. And he totally understood a woman's body. And I have to say, it's very rare that you meet a person like this. And then I thought about the other guys I've dated this year.

And I thought, you know, a lot of us just don't update our sexual bag of tricks. We kind of have sex the same way over and over again. And perhaps we learned in high school how to have sex and we think, okay, now we may go. Now I, you know, take your shirt off then if my penis inside your vagina and I go after you like a jackhammer. And I don't fault anybody

because I know that there's not a lot of great places to learn how to have sex. And perhaps if you just learn by like watching porn or something, no, not bashing porn, but technically speaking, not the best way to learn how to have sex. And so we talk about a lot on this show about intimacy and making eye contact with your partner

and tuning into what your partner needs. And so those are some of the things. But what I mean is that these guys who were like, I felt like they were this one guy in particular. So it was after a few dates, he came inside and I felt like we had these great, this great intellectual connection, but when he came down to sex,

it was like all of a sudden his brain went into, like robotic I am going to hook up with this woman mode and he started like kissing me and touching me in a way that was like, I could have been any woman. It was like, here's what I do when I'm with a woman. Like maybe he was nervous. He didn't come off like he was nervous. Like you wouldn't have known it but since I am an expert in this, I thought he's not really paying attention to my responses to what I'm doing.

It was like now's the time where I take off your shirt. Oh, you know what he did was so frustrating. Here's what I'm talking about is he's like, here's the time where I take off your shirt. And then I go down to your pants. It was like, he barely took my shirt off and then he tried to unbutton my pants, which is my biggest pet peeve when guys skip over your boobs. They're like, your boobs don't even exist,

I don't even care because I want to get your pants. And it's like, there is an order here, people. There is an order and like take time and like linger on my breasts. Like, notice them, take a look, feel them, at least pretend you care about my breasts and that you don't just want to get inside my breasts. Like notice them, take a look, feel them, at least pretend you care about my breasts and that you don't just want to get inside of my vagina. You know, and it was a few instances like that where I just thought, you know, how would

you know, though? Like I thought afterwards and I didn't seem again and it wasn't just because of that, although that was a big part of it. I thought, I wish I could like send them some notes, just like a little like cliff notes. Like, hey, body, it's great, you're sweetheart. But you know what have been really nice if you kind of slowed down and you know, gave some tips. And I thought nobody ever does that. And the reason why I'm saying women do the same thing, we do the same things is because no one's that honest with us. No one's saying like, you know, that blow job was great, but it would have been better if you

used your hands. And obviously everyone wants something different. But I'm just saying general feedback would be great. And I know our egos are, you know, very fragile. And it would have been better if you used your hands and obviously everyone want something different But I'm just saying general feedback would be great and I know our egos are you know very fragile And it would might hurt us But what if there was a way we could I don't know what I'm just saying no that there's probably more information out there that you're not getting And so I realized why we do only we have sex the same ways that we might have learned when we were younger and I was thinking about how, when I started the show, one of the main things in 2005 when I started the show was because I thought, I thought, okay, sex,

I've had good sex, but when people would walk around and say, oh, the best sex in my life, like last night was amazing, he was amazing, she was amazing, I was like, stop. What exactly do you mean by that? Like, what do you mean by amazing? You know, my friends would say, oh, you know, for a lot of women,

it's typically like, it was spontaneous, or it was the fur, you know, I didn't know that he was coming over and he like threw me against the wall, or we were somewhere romantic. And for guys, typically I guess it's like, she was really into it, or I don't know, I always want to get it from guys like,

cause what does good sex mean and what does bad sex mean. But anyway, people would say that, and I thought I just want to become a better lover myself because I think I'm pretty good. I have it any complaints, but then again, who knows if you weren't telling me, I thought I want to become a better lover. And so I was having some memories about this. I was thinking, I remember talking to a friend early on about the show and he was like, you

know what is about sex? He's like, I feel like women don't change that much. He said, there was a girl and I hooked up with her six months ago, just like a random hook up and she gave me a really good blowjob. So six months later, we were like friends with benefits. I hit her up again. She came over. She gave me the exact same blowjob.

It was like, she was falling to the kind of instruction manual. Nothing changed, nothing veered. He's like, it was exactly the same. Now I'm not saying that's like a horrible thing. He wasn't like, it was bad. It was like, nothing changed. And so that really inspired me. And I'm thinking like, I'm gonna do something different.

So I was dating a guy at the time. He was very lucky actually, because this is when I was like, brand new sex with Emily. And I was reading a book. I think it was Sadie Allison's Tickles Pickle, which is a great book if you wanna like, know your way around the penis. And I think that literally Iie Allison's Tickles Pickle, which is a great book if you wanna know your way around the penis. And I think, literally, I'd read one tip,

like one little tip, and I was with my boyfriend that I'd been with for like a year, and I went to give him a blowjob, as I often did. And I remember we were in his kitchen, and I gave him a blowjob, and I was like, oh, oh, I'm gonna do that thing. I'm gonna do that thing. And it was like, I think it was like,

press down on his perineum with your finger when he's about to come. It was something very basic. And I did it. And he was like, he had this big orgasm. He was like, oh my god, Emily, what did you, what did you just do there at the end? And I was like, I just did this thing. And I was like, oh, I just did one thing that I read it

a book, because it was the last thing I remember. And it was like an amazing orgas you know, orgasm for him. So that's my example for you. It was like one little thing that did I learn and it was like, oh, it was a great, you know, oral sex experience. So I thought this is a year of learning for all of us. I think I'm never done learning.

Hopefully you're never done learning and it doesn't have to be like a whole production. Like, I'm not saying you need to go out and build a dungeon in your house. I'm not saying you have to go out and buy like an arsenal of toys, although maybe one or two helps. This year, so my yours resolution for you guys

and for the show is I'm gonna give you like more unique tips like on, you know, most of the shows are like very specific. They can help you improve your sex life. And again, it doesn't have to be a big production. Like have you ever tried a pillow under your butt when you're having sex for women? If you're not able to like have orgasms as easily or the positioning seems off sometimes, you put a little pillow that works. Try slowing down. If you've been with your partner for a while

and you haven't kissed, kissing is the first thing that goes in long-term relationships. FYI. So maybe you're like, you know what? Tonight, I'm going to bake out again. Or, you know, just like focus on the intimacy, focus on the connection, and I'll be bringing you tips this year. All right, guys, so we're gonna take this year by the balls, by the clitoris. It's gonna be a good one, happy 2017. Now we got some sex in the news. Okay, 45% of couples schedule sex.

According to a recent report, 45% of couples plan a time to have sex with their partners. Planning means one or both people write it down or mentally know that Tuesdays are now allocated for intimate time. And I have to say, when I, again, when I first started the show, I thought, oh my God, scheduling sex sounds like the boringest buzzkill I could ever imagine.

Who wants a schedule sex? Because hot sex is all about spontaneity. But what I realized over the years, and I'm glad that this study cooperates that, is that there's a lot of people in relationships who want to have sex, but their schedules don't you get kids, you get busy. And when you actually schedule sex it takes a lot of the pressure off because you know I'm not gonna get I'm not gonna try to have sex with my you know husband and Sarri night and he's gonna reject me and that's

gonna be this whole thing all we you like no Tuesdays your night. And so the study goes on to say that it's one of the best ways to prioritize intimacy and put it at the top of the list and the idea that desire is spontaneous and that it switches on like a light switch actually goes against science. Women do not get aroused and get desirous or for sex the same way that men do. So you know, if you're at burst to scheduling because you worry like it'll make sex into a chore, you know, you're not alone because again, some people think, God, that just seems like another thing.

But when you start to think like, oh, it's every Tuesday, you can create like a date night bag and you could fill it with like spontaneous ideas. You're like, I'm going to be giving you tips that you want to try. I could be like, you got a new sex toy in there or you have like, maybe even take notes on your phone, you're like, God, on Tuesday night, I'm going to wear this laundry. I'm going to try this sex tip and then you start to think about sex, right? You start to like fantasize and you think, what is it going to be like and it can actually be really hot.

Desire requires a rousal to initiate the process. So that means if you put your body in motion, your brain will get on board as well. We always say your brain is a large sex organ. So if you even start doing the motions, you're going to want to have sex. So the actual physical act can be enough to get the ball rolling, you know. so that's why again, like you got to like sometimes just start moving it. And you're like, okay, I'm going to want sex. It's not going to be so bad. And then you have sex and you never were grattier to like, why do we have sex? It's just like the gym, right? You're never like, why did I go to the gym?

You're usually happy about it. So scheduling time allows both you, both of you to anticipate it more and might even crease your flirtation with your partner because you know what's coming up. So I just think if you've been struggling with your partner, you're like, oh, you don't have sex scheduled. A lot of couples, all these couples can't be wrong. And I think again two great benefit of scheduling it. You know sex is happening and you have to worry about it all week long. You're like, okay, this is happening. Pick whatever date, you know, and I have a lot of friends who've been married and they've

date night and they literally, religiously, I was talking to my friends of their night just like, yep, you know, Wednesday night, I'm going out, I'm like, you guys still do that? They have two small kids, they've been doing it for like eight years and every Wednesday is their date night. And also, again, you know that it's happening so you can plan for it.

You can fantasize what's gonna happen. You get excited about it. So again, I think these are great benefits for scheduling sex. Okay, so think about that, the share. Okay, we are going to take a quick break. Thank you, everybody, for supporting our amazing sponsors. They help keep the show free, and we love them. And come back.

We'll be taking your calls. Thanks for listening. Okay, now we're on to calls. If you have a question you'd like me to answer on the show, I love that. It's so easy to submit your question. Just go to sexwithmly.com, click on the Ask Emily tab at the top, fill out the form and hit submit. But now there's an option to call into the podcast and get your question answered live. So just check the yes box if you want your question answered in the show. And if not,

we, you know, we'll still answer your question. We still do emails. You can also leave me a voicemail, which I also think is a really fun part of the show. You guys have been leaving such amazing voicemails in kind of blown way how like articulate and concise and smart you all are. So please leave me a voicemail. It's great to hear your voice 818-askask-sw1 or 818-275-7931. As always, please include information that helps me help you. Your gender, your age, where you live, and how you listen to this show. Can't wait to hear from you. All right, our first call is from Shannon. She's 43 from New York and she stuck in an intimacy list marriage. And she wants to know if a marriage thought intimacy is worth saving, and if so, how do you save it?

Hi Shannon. Hi Emily, how are you? I'm so good, it's so good to talk to you. I'm ready to help you with this intimacy challenge going on. It happens to the best of us. Well tell me a little bit more about okay so tell me how long you've been married and just a little bit about what's going on with you. Okay we have been married for seven years. We have not had

sex for over nine years and a lot of the intimacy fell away pretty quickly at the beginning of our relationship, but he's such a wonderful man and friend and companion and I just wanted to be very patient with what he was going through, which I probably failed to mention. What's he going through? He was having a covenant sex in nine years. Well, I should say, when we first started dating, the sex was somewhat normal. And what I mean by that is we were having sex, but he would say that he was having problems down there.

So some form of erectile dysfunction. But things were still working. So probably within that first year, sex became less and less frequent and then just stopped. But I don't think I realized it stopped for a while and then I blinked and then it's been nine years. Wow, here we are. Yeah, okay, do you have children? Well, you probably couldn't have children because you've been a sex. That's the connective conception.

Are you adopted? Let's be honest. Okay, so have you guys talked about this? We have, and often we would end up in some form of heated discussion that would leave us not speaking to each other for about 24 hours or so. Okay. So I realized he's kind of conditioned me not to bring it up. So I think that's a part of the problem.

And then this past year, I've just been doing a lot of kind of personal development and trying to clear out a lot of clutter in my life, like physically, mentally, emotionally. And I was having a discussion with a good friend of mine. And I, I would have these just amazing and interesting conversations about anything and everything. And one night I shared with him what was going on

in my marriage and he asked me, are you happy? So that conversation sparked a long period of reflection and self-awareness of issues that I wasn't dealing with, this being one of them. And I just, I feel like therapy is the answer because nothing's changing. And I feel like I'm stuck in a hole that I can't get out of without someone's help.

Right, okay. So that's why I don't know where to go from here. Right, I think absolutely therapy, I mean therapy in your situation, in a absolutely therapy. I mean, therapy, you know, in your situation, you know, in a lot of situations will help, but but but Shannon, nine years, nine years, no set, I mean, you're essentially roommates, right? If you're not having sex in your roommates.

So he's a great roommate. Right, it sounds like he's got to be a great roommate. Like, he must help around the house. Like, you know, I don't know, brings in the groceries, he cooks, maybe he's all these great things, but he's not really i mean i get he's your husband but there's been zero sex and you've been talked about it so yes i do think

i mean yeah therapy like like today but also i'm curious are you still in love with him in that way uh... that's a very difficult question to answer because i've been trying to figure that out myself and I think I've I have all these coping mechanisms in place. You must. So I I can't really see I don't know. Okay, so this is the deal. This is Shannon. This is what you have to do I need to set a timeline here for you because you've had nine years without sex So I got to tell you like I need you to either like get into you both need therapy. I get that you probably don't

want to throw it away because you don't know you probably feel you haven't really tried yet. Like you kind of tiptoed around it, but he's got to see you know that there's an issue that you have in that sex. So I want to say get into get into therapy together if you can because even if it's just to figure out where you guys are at, find like a really good marriage family therapist. And because I'm sure this is gonna be peeling back the layers from all these years. I mean, you know, you said it started with the rectal dysfunction

nine years ago. That probably, you know, increased his anxiety around sex. I'm sure he's never talked to a doctor about it. But most men don't talk to anyone about their penis. And so now you've been coping because, you know, you're like, I love this guy, I'm sure he's never talked to a doctor about it. If it's MOTES men don't talk to anyone about their penis. And so now you've been coping because you know, you're like, I love this guy I want to stay together, but really it's like, I asked if you're in love with him because it part of me feels like, of course you love him, but if there hasn't been any sex, it's like, you love him like a brother.

Like he's a family member, you care about him. So I just think like, I'm going to give you the timeline that you got to get in a therapy like within the next week because I think the hardest thing for a lot of people is like Oh my insurance I got to call them and I don't know if I can find a therapist like just fine when ask your friends I'm sitting on therapy fine to go to to see you like better and and just because you guys got to just have Honestly like sitting those chairs in that room and face each other and talk about what's going on. Because I don't know after nine years what you guys are going to do. It's like if you can roll back to the beginning or if there's something else going on, but you don't have all the answers now

because he hasn't been open to talk about it. So which makes sense. Like you poured a thing, like my heart's like, I want you to, like, and then I want you to go to therapy. And then I want you to like, though, because things can move quickly here. You're going to know soon enough whether or not he's willing to work on it

because you don't have another nine years to convince him to go to therapy and to be convinced him to do the work. You're ready to do the work. You've been clearing out the clutter, you're working on yourself. And a lot of relationships, usually just one of the one person.

And these are relationships that don't often work out when both people aren't willing to put in the efforts. So you're gonna find out if he's gonna show up at that appointment and if he's going to do the work. And if he's not, you know, you're going to know if you should say there you should go. Because if nothing changes, I'm going to say three months from now.

So it's January. If by March, like literally put this on your calendar, like March 20th or something, right down how you'd like to be feeling in your relationship. And what milestones you'd like to have and see how you feel that. Because if you don't feel too, I don't want this to go on for another few years.

I just can't have this for you. Like, you know, so that's, I have to be absolutely. I don't want that for me either. Right, and don't let them get away with like, not going and canceling the appointment. Like you gotta take control of this. You should be having a robust sexual, amazing life with someone who cooks and gives

you amazing orgasms. Sounds wonderful. Okay, keep me posted, Shannon. Okay. I will, Emily. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you. Have a good day.

Bye. God, Shannon, that was a great call you guys. If that struck a chord with any of you, you're like, God, we ain't had sex in a month. We should probably work on that. You should. Couple should be having sex. I'm never going to give you a set number,

but if you're having sex once a month, that's not great. Once a week, I think it is good. If you can live with that, but nine years people, nine years, and I'm not going to be, I could just sit here all day long and say, go to therapy, go to therapy, but I actually think everybody needs therapy, but they really need it. And they got to figure it out. So if you're stuck in an intimacy, less marriage, that might want to be the route that you want to go. And I want to hear from Shannon.

I love when you guys let me know how things go. Like after we talk and give you advice, I want to hear how it progresses. Like I want Shannon to call me a march. I need to know. Okay, another call. All right. Okay next call we have Miles. He's 24 from California and he's concerned about the size of his package wondering if he should give his new love interest the heads up about it. Hey Miles. Hey how are you? I'm good. So tell me what's going on.

So you know when I first tried to have sex, it was when I was 18. You know, I was always been a little, you know, subconscious about it. And the first time it really didn't happen, and then the path makes it a tendency-gliding. So the second time I tried, it was a little an eventful. The, you know, she was very understanding. I came in like 50 seconds flat, but, you know, she told me straight up, you know, I'm a girl. And so, I didn't even know what that was until... She said you were a grower. Oh, man, a research ship.

She did? She said you were a grower I mean a research that she did you or grower Yes, grower not a shower as in when you see your flasopena is really good and then it grows and it's like oh Okay, got it. All right. Yeah, just explaining for the at home audience. Okay So she told me I was a grower and I didn't really know what that was and so now I'm dating someone new And I'm a little self-conscious because he's very open about her sexual desires. And I don't know how to go about it without kind of freaking her out at first sight.

Woo, OK, back up. You're concerned that she's going to look at your penis and think it's small. And she's not going to, and you're like, no, no, wait. It's going to grow. Is that what you're thinking? Okay, so first of all, that won't happen. I'm just telling you right now,

like that is not going to happen. She's attracted to you, she's telling you about your sexual desires. She's excited to say that it's sex with you, and I have to tell you that after the thousands of emails and calls and I've gotten people that I hear from more men who are concerned about their penis than women. Like women don't even talk,

they're like, oh yeah, it's great, love her. So you've nothing to are concerned about their penis than women. Women don't even talk. They're like, oh, yeah, it's great love her. So you've nothing to be concerned about, OK? So as far as that goes, she's not going to be like, oh, sorry, we're going to have sex. But you know, you help your grow there. No. So I feel like the size isn't the issue. You said she talked about her desires.

Is there something in her desire that's concerning you? Like you won't be able to. Yeah, we went on a date. We already went on a couple of dates and she's very hyper type of girl and she told me about she likes it rough. Okay. And so at first it was a little shocking. You know, you know, revealing that to me, you know, and some of the other things that she likes to be now and everything. Like what? Speedy out. She likes to be eaten now. Be now. Okay, go down on her, right?

Yeah, she likes to, you know, and she likes it rough and she told me that her last sexual partner has made her realize that. And, you know, she's more into the um... spontaneous side effects okay it's like i could i can only really give that when i'm already hard and so

i don't know it's it was weird don't you think that you'll already get hard like you don't know right now you don't have a problem getting hard right like when you're turned on you get hard so don't you think that you're gonna be hard? Like the second you guys start making out. I mean, first of all, if she likes it rough, I know all these things like, right, rough. Now, like if you guys start kissing and making out and you like, you know, throw it on the bed

and you go down, you're gonna be turned on. So I don't think you have to worry that you're gonna be in a scenario where your penis is not hard here. So that's not gonna be a problem. And if that does happen, let's say you're like, oh, I'm too anxious, we just gotta get you out of your head, because this happens to a lot of guys,

and you will get through this. There is nothing wrong with you miles. You're 24 years old, I think a lot of younger guys just, and it'll leave me happen to some older guys too, but you don't have as much experience. And your few times might have been like, oh, this happened, that happened, and you think that's who you are, but it's not who you are. So the less you can spend

focusing on what might happen and what happened in the past, the better. And that means that you've got to be present in the moment with this beautiful, desirous woman who likes to rough in front of you when you're having sex. So whenever these thoughts come in your head, just go back to like something about her that turned you on, okay direct those thoughts into the moment of what's happening okay away from your penis and into the moment so are you concerned about the rough part or you can turn about going down in her both have you gone down in a woman? I have once but like I said I don't like you said like you guessed correctly I don't really have that much experience because you know I would compare myself to all these porn stars that would have like

seven, nine inch penises and I would think, well, I'm small. It's like kind of became a sexual through that because I was thinking, well, no one's going to want to, you know, you know, do this. But, but it's, yeah, I don't really have as much experience that she does. That's fine. That's fine. And who knows how much she really has, okay?

So she had one lover who threw her against the wall and she thinks she likes rough sex. We don't know what all of her experience is, okay? And nobody's expecting you to be this like pro sex guy, right? Because the key to having really great sex with someone is to be in tune with them and to be connected. So really it's about like you want her to be pleased. And so I would just be paying attention to like

how she is responding to you. So like when you guys grow out, you know, when you start making out, like just like is her breath quickening, you know, when you start touching her body, when you start doing things like just like be present with her in the moment and and I don't think that she's going to be thinking that you you know she doesn't have all these expectations she's not hard on you like you're being hard on you okay so I think that that these are all these past like negative things that you're

telling yourself I just wish you could like leave behind and I know that's easier said than done. So I'm telling you that none of these things are going to like she's not going to be seeing there thinking all these things, but about you. But it's okay that you don't have experience like nobody is born with the experience. So you can let her know when you do go down on her if you want to that, you know, like go slow. First of all, going slow is a great way, like, kiss her for a long time. Like, anticipation is one of the biggest turn-ons

for women, okay? The longer you can wait, like, I was just talking earlier in the show about like my biggest pet peeve, and I've been having sex a lot longer than you and probably a lot more, is that, when a guy still, like, who's had a lot of sex, just goes right for my pants

and to take him off and have sex with me. I'm like, whatever happened to like, the build up and the romance like make out with her like do the things that you feel good about like appreciate her kiss her kiss her neck like slowly and dress her kiss her breast just cuz she likes rough sex As it mean the first time you're together. She wants you to throw against them all either FYI She's just telling you like oh, I'm crazy and I've done all these things But if you're present with like what's happening in the moment, I'm telling you it's going to be a much more positive experience. And then if it gets to the point where you're going down in her, you can just ask her what she likes. You know, we've tons of great stuff on our website about like how to's like great like Connellingus and you know some best tips and all that.

But really it's about like going down, going slow, starting slow, like with your tongue, like light, like butterfly, like kisses, and just like ask her, like does that feel good? Like how you can start, and you can also tell in the moment how she's reacting. So is her breath quickening? You know, is she arching her body towards you? You can start to get, that's how you learn, you know, you learn by like doing. So no one's expecting you learn you know you learn by like doing so no one's expecting to be the champion here

should be a part of like not having as much experience or just kind of let it happen don't i would not be i would be afraid about your penis because your penis is amazing i promise you grow or not sure most guys are but most guys are growers i don't even know what that i mean i know you're saying like but we're not looking at women or not judging a flasks and penis. We're not even judging your hard penis as much as you think we are. And you don't have to say anything I don't have a lot of experience. No, because you're going to kill it.

She's going to be fine. You don't, now if something comes up when she's like, what you do this, you know, the pal driver, which is a sex move that I could barely master. And you know what the hell it is, you can be like, oh, I've never done that move before. But I guarantee you that you're not gonna have to make any apologies here for who you are and what you're doing.

You can say, you know, I, every woman's different. Tell me what you like down here. Like, if she gets frustrated, for example, if that happens, which probably won't, but just ask her, like, what do you need? What, you know, how can I help you? But if you really pay attention to it, I think you're gonna do just fine.

This is you getting in your own way right now. And if you can focus until you see it again, I don't know when your date is, but like on positive, don't stop watching porn. Like don't watch porn in next week, first of all. And start like getting education. Like education and experience is how you're gonna have that self-confidence.

So start reading up on it, read up on the female body, a sexual response, and also, you know, when you're with her, that also experiential so just and just like love yourself love your body it's gonna be fine I promise you it's all in your head so that's a good news no one rejected you nothing bad happened this is just what you're think you're worrying right thank you very much Emily you're welcome let me out goes thanks miles thank you

if I could do like one public service announcement, like to the world, it would be like, you know, size doesn't, you guys already know size as a matter, but it's like, don't worry about your freaking penis. Guys, all the time that men worry, the time, the energy, the anxiety that goes into like stressing about your penis, like you could have like cured cancer right now, collectively men and solve world hunger, world hunger, because we are not stressing about your penis, like you could have cured cancer right now, collectively men and solve world hunger, because we are not worried about your penis like you are. Okay, we've got Amanda 23 from Missouri on the phone,

and she's recently told by a partner that her kissing style left a little to be desired. Now she's looking for some tips on what to do with her tongue. Hi Amanda. Hi. Hi, welcome to the show. Tell me what's coming up. I know I'm just so fun. I love having the calls. Okay so tell me what's going on. You had this partner who was like I don't even like this guy but tell me what happened. Yeah he was a Tinder date. Oh there you go. It was our second date.

And we were just hanging out my apartment after going out to dinner and we started making out. And then he pulls back and is like, have you ever been with somebody before? And I was really taken aback because I have and I've kissed many guys that I've never had any complaints. Right. Okay. So maybe like the way, you know, for his liking, like you weren't kissing the way he's used

to kissing. So that's all I have to do. Yeah, what do you say? Yeah, he said I wasn't using enough tongue. He's like usually I kiss girls that use a lot of tongue and you're very timid. Okay. So that's what he wanted. Okay. So do you feel like that's kind of true?

Like do you feel like you are timid? Did that resonate with you? I don't feel like I am. I usually with that, I've been with in the past, like we talked about what we like. And I guess I'm more of a kind of playful biteer than a tongue person. Right. It's good to bite and tongue.

I love the bite. Like you bite his lower lip. Yeah. Yeah, that's hot. That's a really hot move. That's good. I didn't learn that much later than you learned it. Like you're 22.

I'm 23. I'm 23. So here's a thing about kissing. That's so amazing is that, first of all, kissing is kind of like a dance. So every person that you're with, you're kind of creating your own dance together, right? Like sometimes he leads, sometimes you lead.

And so just because this guy was a douchebag, I'm sorry, he was like, oh, have you ever kissed anyone? Like, that's just a douchey thing to say, okay? I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the way you kiss. He's used to girls shoving their tongue down his throat. That said, I think it's great to like think about this. Like, I've actually done this, I've done all these things.

I was like, I thought too, I was like, I kissed the same way and I started thinking about how I kissed and I thought, I'm gonna do more of that biting thing, more of the like tongue, but really, it's like, I think that when you're kissing someone, are you conscious of what they're doing, are you thinking more about what they,

like where is your head when you're making out with someone? I guess I more do what I've known has worked in the past. Like I my pat like past boyfriend like he really liked that. So that's kind of just where I go to and I kind of I like it when guys bite my lip too. So I kind of kiss the way I want to be ticked. Right. Okay. So you just said something so great.

So that's exactly it. We all have sex the way we want to have sex, right? So I think a great exercise is that the next time you're with somebody and you could do this or maybe after you've dated them a few times, you could say, you know what? I want to try an experiment. I want you, let's play a game. I want you to show me the way that you want to be kissed and then have them kiss you. And then you can show him how you you want to be kissed and then have them kiss you. And then you can show him

how you'd like to be kissed, right? So you're kind of just sitting there and he's doing his thing with his tongue or whatever he does. And then you show him, you like to be kissed and then it becomes like this amalgamation of, then you know what you both want. Right. And it's a great way to learn, you know? It's a great way to figure out like there are other ways to kiss. But usually you get into, typically if you're with someone and you guys are reading each other, you kind of just get into this rhythm where you're not even going to be thinking about it anymore. And I think that's going to happen to you really soon. I think this guy just jolted you.

And I'm glad you called before this became like 10 years from now and you're like, I haven't left my house because this guy said I was a bad kisser because this is one guy, right? We've all had those statements. I can just like set us back. It just means that great, wake up call. Thank you very much for the information, and now I'm gonna start practicing with guys I'm with. So maybe next time with your guy,

if you don't feel like let's play a game, because I know that can be like, whatever, just you can just kind of like say, you know what, I'm gonna stick by tongue, I'm gonna pay attention to how he's doing it, and I'm gonna follow his lead, like dancing. And I do that sometimes, I'm like, I'm not sure, sometimes it's kind of a radic when you start kissing someone at first, I'm like, I'm just gonna see what he's doing it and I'm going to follow his lead like dancing. And I do that sometimes. I'm like, I'm not sure. Sometimes it's kind of erratic when you start kissing someone

at first. I'm like, I'm just going to see what he's doing. And I'll just follow his tongue, right? And then we get into that groove. It's not like I'm f-but it becomes our own thing. And then I'll bite the lip or do my thing. And then you go back to how can we sink together? It is like dancing.

So I think if you think of it that way, that you're not both separately and separate size of the fence, but you're both in it of it that way that you're not both like separately and like separate size of the fence But you're both in it together that might help you Right Yeah, yeah, it just really threw me off because you know It's just a guy in an alpha tinder so I'm seeing a couple people and so I'm like oh gosh Is that gonna happen the next time I know I've never had that happen before good Well, I'm glad you call because we're nipping this in the butt right now because this will not happen before this guy.

Just guys just say, the women say things and it's like so hurtful. And you know what, no, you've got nothing. You've got plenty of dates, you've had boyfriend, you've had some, believe me, there's nothing wrong with your kissing. I'm just gonna say, and this is for everyone listening, you can always improve your kissing.

You can always be a better lover in all different ways. So, yeah, nothing wrong with you. Keep on tinder and keep swiping. Okay. And just practice. Practice will with you. Keep on tindering, keep swiping. Okay. And just practice. Practice will teach you that everyone's a little different and you'll pick up different tips from others. So.

Yeah, that's very true. Okay, so no worries Amanda, you're good. I wish I could give you a kiss right now. Okay, bye. Thanks for calling. All right, thank you. That's a really good one to you guys. I can't tell you how many people are just damaged

by these one-off statements like I can't kiss or I can't give a blowjob, you know? But kissing is, first of all, it's the first thing that goes like I said a lot of long-term relationships, but really it's something that can be improved upon. I've had so many people say, oh, she was a bad kisser. He was a bad kisser and I can't go out them again. I'm like, no, you can.

Kissing is something that you can actually work on together and improve and we all want to learn if you're with a willing partner You guys can make your own kissing dance. It'll be beautiful All right, we have Tanner. He's 24 from Florida and he's looking for advice to help him out of a pickle with his two best friends Both of whom he slept with Tanner you're the man. What's up? How are we going? I'm good. I'm good. Okay, so that's quite a pickle. Two best friends, you've set up a fourth of them.

Yep. That's right. Okay. Where are we at now? Well, since I originally emailed you, the one that's from Texas, me and her are actually dating now. Okay. And the one from Florida, we're still all roommate, but it hasn't been super weird, but at the same time, it hasn't been a normal thing.

Yeah, because she's your roommate and you slept with her, and now you have to see her like making coffee in the morning, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, and I'm sure she's heard me and the other one, you know, kind of been on the same day. Oh, yeah. And she's heard me and the other one, you know, kind of. Oh, yeah. And she's still living there. I would think that she would not want to be living there.

And are they still best friends? Yeah, I mean, it's been kind of weird. When I first moved in, they were, everything was super weird. Like it was kind of weird to talk to each other. But it's gotten a little better. I still don't think it's to the point where I like it to be.

Well, what do you want to? You're in a long distance relationship with her best friend in Texas. But then every day, right? Well, no, we all live together now. Wait a minute. Okay, wait. I thought you said, okay, got it. So, so you all three of you live together?

Yes. Just three of you. Yep, just three of us. So you're in the room with the one girl all the time having sex and the other roommates there and they're still best friends? Basically, yeah. Okay. And so what do you want to happen?

Do you want, like, you all have, like, you know, I don't know, like, who am I yet? Like, do you want to hang out and go to movies? I mean, this time's really don't know, like, come by yet, like, do you want to hang out, go to movies? I mean, the sun's really sticking. Yeah, kind of, I mean, I don't want to, I don't want to leave her thinking that, you know, we're exclusive and we don't want to hang out with her at all, you know, I still want her to be like a part of our, you know, friendship, like, we're not taking you

out of the little group just because we're sleeping together. Is she dating other people yet? She's talking to one guy. Okay, once she starts dating a guy, once she has someone, then you all of our views the summer and we find. But right now she's got no one else and her roommate's banging you in the next room

and she's got to listen to it, which sounds painful and that you chose the friend over her. So there's a lot of her going on here. I mean, there's a lot of ego bruising and I don't think that you're gonna be able to talk her So there's a lot of hurt going on here. I mean, there's a lot of ego bruising. And I don't think that you're gonna be able to talk her into wanting to like hang out right away maybe, but I think if this is your situation, the three of you like are living together,

that you're gonna have to find a way to make it work. I don't think you can, you know, it sounds like you're being, you're being, you know, you said you're being not being exclusive, you mean sexually, right? You are sexually exclusive, but you're not, you're being inclusive and that you invite her out to the movies with you guys, right?

Right, you know, like if we're gonna go out to a bar or something, we always start to invite her. But she doesn't go. No, a lot of times, because the guy she's hanging out with isn't exactly a good person. Okay. So it's kind of making it hard for us to hang out because we don't, neither of us like him, but every time we invite her out, she invites him and then it just makes things worse.

Yeah, that doesn't sound fun. What does your friend think? What does the girl think about it, the one that you're with? I mean, it's her best friend. She doesn't like him at all. Well, it's okay, the guys can do good. We doesn't like him at all. I mean, she's not the thing. We don't want to kick her out of the group. Right, but I get that her feelings are hurt, you know?

He treats her like shit. Right, right. And you can't, does she see that? Or no, probably not yet. Yeah, she sees it, but she just kind of ignores it because she's falling for him so bad. Right. So hard to watch your friends date the wrong people.

I know. God, it's the worst. And you live together. It's also closed to an hour. This is like stressful. I feel like you feel that tension in your house. I just think it's going to be time. If you guys are all committed to living together,

time does heal all wounds. And maybe if you don't invite her out, like she's going to feel like the third wheel. If the two of you are going to a bar and you're like, hey, come with us. But why don't you invite your other friends along? And she can bring the guy she's dating who's a jerk but invite some others. You know what I'm saying? Like, and then she won't feel like, oh, they're just doing it to be nice because right now she just feels like the Cinderella got left behind. Well, we've tried inviting other people on, but she seems to always end up with him. Right. Well, you can't do anything about that.

See, these are two separate issues. She's into some guy that nobody likes. So, hopefully she's going to steer ways. That's another hard thing to talk to people. You're not going to talk her into hanging out with you more. And you're not going to talk her into dumping this guy until she sees, you know, his faults, like as clearly as you do. And that's good.

Yeah, we've kind of talked about that too. And we realize that there's not really much we can do because we've tried to talk to her a, and she just doesn't seem to listen. Right, she's not there yet. Well, maybe there's some other friends or parents or someone that you think she would listen to, but sometimes we just gotta go through it. We gotta go through dating the jerks and the people who are not great for us. Then we get to the other side, and we're like, I'll never do that again.

Or you have a pattern, and you keep dating assholes, but hopefully eventually you get over it. But it sounds like you're doing what you can do. You know, Tanner, I think you're doing what you can do right now. So, you know, don't put yourself up. You know what I mean? Like, you set up with both of them. She's still living with you, so it's not that bad, but you can't save her from herself.

But you can just be supportive. So. Yeah, that's what we're trying to do. Okay. Well, Tanner, I think you're going to be fine. I think you guys are going to be fine, and she's going to have to go through what she goes through. And just trying to like keep the sex that would you hear come home, you know, maybe like turn up the music or something when you're every sex. She gets home. You want to keep reminding

her that she's taking an asshole and your friend got you, you know? Okay. Yeah, well, that would be a little less loud. Yeah, you know, at least you could do, right? And if you have part again, keep in mind with other people, maybe you can bring yeah, you know, it's the least you could do right? And if you say it have party again, keep in mind with other people Maybe you can bring somebody you know introduce for some friends that you know, but Right now you're not gonna penetrate this relationship. She's in I don't think until she's ready Yeah, okay Tanner good luck to you. You'll be fine Okay, you're welcome That's a tough one.

Tanner is two weeks, he's with two, I can't believe she hasn't moved out yet. Personally, but hey, you sign a lease, you're in it together. And I think you just, you know, you'd be cordial, you'd be, you know, you'd be all in need to act with integrity, be a good person. And I'm, God, it's the worst though. And you're friends with any people and they just don't listen to your advice. But just think everything's happened for a reason. We all learn from these mistakes.

Hopefully. We have Summer, 22. I just think everything's happened for a reason. We all learned from these mistakes. Hopefully. We have Summer, 22. She's from North Carolina, and she's very comfortable and confident in her sexuality. But she's sick of being shamed for it by guys she dates. Like, why can't a girl enjoy sex without being called obsessed? Is that right Summer? Yes, that is so right.

Hi, welcome to the show. I'm so good. Tommy, what's going on, sweetie? Okay, yes. So I've had a couple of past relationships where they, like, yes, we do have a lot of six, but it's just like, I feel they're not on the same page as me. And I think the one that I'm really bothered me

and kind of mess me up for a while was my last one. And he was kind of toxic. And I think I wrote about it to you before a while ago. And he, of course, who made a mistake of talking about how many partners he's fukalist and mine was hired in his. And his reaction, he just like was like, like, lunch.

And then in the past, like I heard that he called me a slut and he was like, oh, is that your past, like your slut past and like stuff like that. So I don't know. And I kind of like, I've moved on from it, but it's still kind of like in the back of my mind, you know, like I went to the while. Right.

I totally got it. Oh my God. But you know how I feel about sharing your, like, every once in a while. Right. I totally got it. Oh my God. But you know how I feel about sharing your sleep number, unless it's like the mattress. Yes. The sleep number mattress. I know. But like, you know, and I'll just repeat this,

read what you're listening. Like, it does, it's like it, it does nobody any good. It's always like, it's either too high in your slut, too low, and you don't have enough experience. There is no reason why anyone needs this information. And so my advice when anyone ever asks you, it's just like, you know what, right now, focus on the sex that we're having.

That's it, shut it down. It's not important. But I get you already did it. And I think this happens a lot in your 20s, like people want to know because you know why guys ask? Because he's so insecure about his own sexual prowess that he's like, well, let me see. I got to figure out where I am in this equation.

Do I have more or less experience? So he was so threatened by the fact that you might have had a few more partners that he was insecure so he attacked you. You realize it says nothing to do with you, okay? Nothing. Yeah, yeah, I know. I just at the time, I just started things

like I can guess, and I was like, wow, maybe like, I should calm down a little bit or maybe I should, but it's just like I don't know, that's a part of me, like my sexuality. I'm becoming more and more comfortable with it. I find a lot of the guys that have been come, at least maybe it's just me, I'm picking your own guys, but they'll have been on the same page and they get really like read a doubt if I ask some questions about what they like and like what their favorite position

is and they kind of shut down and- Because they don't care about it. Right, because they don't know, you're 22? about what they like and what their favorite position is and they kind of shut down. Because they don't care about it. Right, because they don't know. You're 22. Yeah, I'm dating 22 year old men. Boys. Yeah, they've been around my age.

Okay, so here's the thing. You, no matter how mature you are, no matter how smart you are, when you are 22 years old or in your early 20s, you literally have not lived enough. You haven't had enough experience. You haven't had a lot of sexual partners. So you're asking these questions, which I think like I would tell people that's what you need to do. You need to ask like, what do you like? They don't know what they like. They don't know what positions they like yet. They're just happy they're having sex.

They probably like the jackhammer. That's all they know, you know what I mean? So you're kind of, you're like almost too smart for your own good, right? And so I would say they're, I'm not saying that there is not a 22 year old out there that does, that is more evolved sexually. I'm just saying that the guys you've been with, they just don't, they can't handle this. Like it just because, no, they don't know,

because most girls maybe they've been with are not as evolved with you, they're not asking the questions. They don't know what they want. And I say, some are you're doing nothing wrong. This is the time to be experimenting. Use just use protection. Don't talk about what you're doing. No one needs to know. Maybe you're best friend, but not even your best friend's best friend, because then she'll gossip about you because she's jealous. So just like, this is not something that you need to talk about, right? You know? And not because of these wrong with it,

but just like people like they get jealous and like to use information against you. So I would say like, I love that you're so comfortable and confident in your sexuality. And so when you're gonna find a guy who's your match and he's gonna be able to handle it, but until you do, don't waste your time with guys who aren't meeting you at this level, really.

But you're not doing anything wrong. I'm okay, yeah. I'm policing my time. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know what, it's part of it. I'm talking, yeah. I'm releasing my time. Yeah, exactly. I mean, we all, you know what? It's part of it. And you learn from it. So here's the thing.

I wouldn't even say that it's a waste of time. I would say that you've learned it. And now you probably know if you take a little bit time right now, there's probably some similarities. Maybe you can tell me. Like, the last few guys, anything come to mind that was like, oh, wow, yeah, they all blank, you know? There's probably signs.

Yeah, like they're all kind of similar in the way like, is there a reason? Yeah, yeah, you know, or like you can just get a feel for it the way they are around sex. Yeah. Because they're not like great community, like they take your clothes off, they don't slow down with foreplay, or they don't care about your needs, right? Like they don't, and it's because they haven't had enough experience yet. So I would say maybe go a little older, like go a few years older.

Yeah, I think I'm going to. Yeah, and just don't give it up. You know, self loves, stay home, masturbate, figure out what else you like, and just don't go out with these guys who just don't, who are judging you because you're not doing anything wrong. In fact, I think you're like ahead of the curve here. And I love to hear about a 22-year-old woman who's like, self-possessed enough to like, and self-assured enough to own her sexuality and to know what makes you feel good. So I think you're awesome.

Yeah, I think you know, I think it's just like part of kind of owning it, you know, kind of being like, this is me, this is who I am, and being confident enough to show that to guys, I guess. Exactly. And you know what, you're doing it. And I'm sorry that you had a guy who threw it back in your face, which is what happens when you share that number. It happens to all of us. It's happened to so many of us.

They want to know, because again, they're like, tell me, tell me, you can tell me, you can tell me, because they're trying to measure up. They're so insecure having sex in their 20s, like, oh my God, I don't want to do, that they're like, how can I make sense of this? And they're gathering dad all, you know, and it just doesn't, it's just going to be used against you. So, um, but yeah, it's, it's, you're going to, you don't need to share all that information, but you can still be the self-assured woman who knows what she wants and bad.

Like do not make apologies for that at all. Just be careful. Take time before you sleep with someone, you know? I don't think that's bad. Yeah. Make out with, you can tell someone. I don't think that's bad. You can tell by the way you, like, were play. You can tell if you make out with a guy and hook up with them a few times with out-sex, how they're going to be, you know, as lovers.

And you can pretty much tell. But don't take this on as that is who you are, because this is just like, it has nothing to do with you. It has to do with them. Just remember that. You're doing everything right here. Yeah. Except for sharing your number. Thank you very much.

Okay. I know, that was not that. No, we all do it. That's what I'm telling you. We've all done it, right? And you might do it again and it's totally fine. But just know, typically, typically, does not the best conversation.

So it doesn't ever. No, very rarely is the hell. Like, I don't want to know. Yeah, it's fine. Like, I don't want to know. I mean, you're saving me with it. I just keep thinking about like, making out with you again. You I don't know. Yeah, it's fine. Like I don't want to know. I'm your saving with I just keep thinking about like making out with you again. You know what I mean? Like turn the tables like just shut that conversation down. Right. I'm not doing you. Okay. Thanks, Summer. You got it. Okay. Thank you. You're such a

help. Thank you Emily. You're welcome. Hey, I know what I love about these days calls that everyone's calling in. Everyone had like this singular traumatic moment with it on a date or with someone there with. And these are the things people that set us back for a lifetime. Like, I can't tell you how many guys I know like in their 40s or like, yeah, when I was 23, this girl told me that like, I had a small penis or that I was bad and bad and like, he's 45 and he's still kind of sex. So the fact that you're all calling me now with these things that I'm telling you are like one person's opinion of you

that has nothing to do with you because most people lash out and are judgmental because they're insecure. This will set you free from having this set you back from having amazing sex your entire life. So these are great calls. I love it. I love talking to you all. Keep calling. All right. Okay. I had a blast. That was so fun you guys. Please calling. All right, OK, I had a blast. That was so fun, you guys. Please send me your emails and your calls. So just go to the website, sectionbellamy.com.

Go to the Ask Emily Banner tab and then just write your questions and say, yes, I'd like to be called because how great is this? Because then I can get into it. We can get into it. We can have a talk. And I love talking to my listeners. I just freaking love you all.

Thank you so much for supporting the show. Happy New Year to everybody. And thanks so much for supporting the show. Happy New Year to everybody. And thanks so much for listening. Also, oh, wait, I gotta thank my amazing team. Of course, thank you Madison and Eddie and Ken, who's here after my town. Thank you Jamie and Lori, thank you Michael, doing the sound.

And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.