Sex With Emily - How to Please A Penis Princess

Episode Date: November 13, 2014

 Today we're talking all about those picky penises in your life. I give tips for both men and women to help you please those high-maintenance members, and make sure both parties leave happy. Also, why don’t more women carry condoms? Why are so many millennials stuck in relationship limbo? And what 11 lessons should you never learn from porn?  All this and more in the latest Sex With Emily podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, welcome to Sex with Emily's Tonight Show, it's all about those picky penises. You know, those penises in your life that you're not quite sure what to do with sometimes they're up, sometimes they're down. We're going to talk about what men and women can do about them, and I give advice for women to help you please the men in your life with those high maintenance members. Thanks for one for listening,

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That's Emily at adamaniv.com. Thanks for listening. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl

you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. Check out my site, you love it. We post great vlogs, videos, articles, everything that you need to have better sex and relationships

because who the hell doesn't want that? Can't find anyone who doesn't want that. Literally, no one's like, oh yeah, I'm perfect. Everything's perfect in my life. My life is perfect, my life is perfect. No, you wanna have a relationship. Right Anderson? That's right, I'm'm that's what tonight's show is all about It's actually about you so you the the man can have better sex about the penis

This is the penis show. We've done penis shows in the past. You know, we've done vagina shows. We've done breast shows But this show is about picky penises Don't change the name of the show because if it became sex with penises, I don't think it would be nearly as simple. I don't even like the word. I think we need some other thing. I don't know. It's all about picky dicks. Slong? Picked docs. Yeah, about those. Picked bricks. Picked bricks.

It's all about those sticky shlongs. No, but really, I feel like every single day, and I was just saying earlier that when I walked in here, I was like, the reason why I was a little frazzled is because I was a perusual. You're a frazzled because you're Emily. Because I'm Emily. I feel like you really accept me and love me for who I am. That's true, I do. I know.

And you bring the booze, which makes it easier. I just, I felt like getting the booze because I thought we had a need of a booze in our life. I need to actually need to start drinking more. It's on my list of things. I think that that should be a good, maybe a good result. No, I know. Totally. I'm not, I'm not really a great drinker like I was always such a lame drinker in college I be the one what does I mean? I mean I don't like the taste of it. I would get

You don't like it but you don't like to lose control. I want to I've never lost control drinking. Yeah see See what I mean? I know because but that's not why it's because I don't like the taste of alcohol I like the taste of Wine no, I don't like the sugar. I like I could drink you I could drink the only thing I like and this is not has nothing to do with Secondly, dirty martinis. I can slam those two of them. I'm drunk. I'm dead. I'm over there. They're like salty and you can't taste the alcohol I thought you're gonna say blow jobs, so I'm glad you want with 30 martini. No, there'd be some flood ups Don't forget dirty martinis are like a real drink and that's all I can drink. So anyway, today I just got back from an interview with Elite Daily. Do you know Elite Daily? It's a very common, very popular website right now.

And they really like everyone's reading it. There's they've got great articles on there about everything that you can think about on the planet and it seems like you just like every time you're on Facebook or wherever there's at least daily. So the interview to be today for a very interesting article about condoms and it's funny because it keeps coming up lately in my conversations with colleagues and his friends. It's like, I feel like condoms have like gone the way of you know, the transistor rate or something. Like people are no longer, I was gonna say, of phone calls.

No, people, like, Art, didn't you always use condoms going out, weren't you always like, you have to use condoms when you start, weren't you scared about it in high school? Yeah, whenever I have sex with a girl the first two times, I use a condom and then- But then after that you wouldn't even as young kid. Okay, so maybe it was like an East Coast thing, like you and California roll chill.

Maybe, yeah. So we were uptight about condoms as well. I feel like- I grew up in the AIDS era too. So did So we were uptight about condoms. I feel like- I grew up in the AIDS era too. So did I, that's what I'm saying. I feel like, once I had sex with a girl a couple times, I could trust it. See, but you can't. And this thing-

I know it's ridiculous. But at least, let me tell you something though, this is why we're ahead. At least in our generation, we at least use them the first two times. Today, people don't even think they have to use condoms. They're like, hey, yeah, I'm clean, babe, it's cool. And then the woman's just like, okay, cool, I've sexually revised Versa. And they're just trusting each other. And I think that people are forgetting that there's actually a huge risk for, you know, for STDs, just because

someone says they're clean and they look clean, doesn't mean they are. You know, you could still contract something and not find out for a few weeks. And you just don't trust anyone. And use a guy named Condom. And so I kept I kept thinking about it and then she said to me so she was interviewing me about condoms and then she said well why don't women what if a guy pulled out a condom for example she's in its latex because a lot of people are allergic to latex condoms do you know this yeah I hear it on level and all the time and those two times you've used a condom I wait your wife and then it's probably been a long time since no but for years with her and that was awesome.

No more, never again. So anyway, latex writes, so now there's Pali isoprene Connums, which is skin condoms make them. It's lifestyle's skin condoms and they're actually amazing. I just tested one. I had a friend volunteer. Really? To have sex with me.

You kidding me? No, I'm actually not kidding you. We're gonna try this for my luck. We're gonna try this so. Yeah, I mean, okay, someone that I've sex with me. You kidding me? No, I'm actually not kidding you. We gotta try this for my luck. We gotta try this so. Yeah, I mean, okay, someone that I've slept with before. All right, and it was a very clinical. It was clinical. That's like, listen, you gotta help me out, buddy.

Overhead lights on. No, no, no, I hate lights. Did you like some of your candles? I did like one of my candles. I bring them everywhere. I'm like, hold on. I gotta get my candle. Because they really do relax me.

You're a place for his. His place. You should have said the me. You're a place for his. His place. You should have said the office, that would have been the best. I can't have sex in the office. The office is like a freaking circus show. I swear to God.

I know, exactly. The place that I had touched out. No, but you understand, well, I'm gonna get back to my story. I'll get back to my circus office in a minute. But that we, yeah, I tested it because they're supposed, cause everyone thinks that also people in education about condoms, I think that men are like, they have bad experiences and they fall off. They're uncomfortable and they're supposed to, because everyone thinks that also people in education about condoms, I think that men are like to have bad experiences and they fall off, they're uncomfortable

and they're of course, can make the woman uncomfortable with these poly isoprene, which is only again made by skin. I, again, they send them all, I'm testing them all, is that they're thinner, but it means that they're just as safe and they're not going to break and they, they stick to the penis, they don't side off. So the point is, she said, but what if said, but what would you say to a guy? And I said, I would just say, baby, I can't use that condom, but keep having foreplay because foreplay is great.

It shouldn't be all about sex. But you know, like that frustrating moment, when you just have blue balls right there, if I was like, sorry, dude, can't use that condom with you. So while, yeah, eventually the blue balls would kick in. Right, but then what if I said, let's just save it for next time or something? Well, you saying, baby, I think is a great form

of prophylactic. I'd be done right there. Have next time or something? Well, you say baby, I think is a great form of like prophylactic. I'd be done right there. Have a sweetie honey. Okay, sorry, not baby. I don't know why I said baby, but I said okay, I don't know. Just what if I said hey, no, let's just I can't I can't. Okay, so the point is she said why would I done? For sure, you get a blowjob for sure.

I give you a blowjob done. And then hopefully for more sex on me and we'll be fine. But I'm saying is that women you shouldn't just ignore, for example, that excuse, along with the guys like, sorry, okay, there's a million excuses that guys use when they don't have cut them. I've heard, these are the ones I've heard in my lifetime. I'm too big. So stupid.

Yeah. They make me emeraldirgic to them. I can't get hard with them. I love you so much. I don't if you get pregnant baby. You heard that. Yeah. Oh, Christ. We're the baby. Yeah. I deleted his number. So the point is, is that it's just the funny that everyone's not using condoms. Not not funny. It's actually serious that people aren't using condoms. And then she said, well, why don't women carry them?

Like, why don't you just have them? I'm like, yeah, because every woman goes out, we like have a lipstick. You know, we take our keys, take our D and then why not a condom? So what would you think if you're with a woman? I'll tell you what I said. Exactly. You think she was a slut? You would.

Well, you think that she was planning on getting some, which is totally unfair, but totally unfair. What if it's, well, why can't we just have it in our purse? Like we have like tampons in case we get her period or like why can't we have them like credit card or Kleenex or something, why can't we just say, oh, I've got condoms. Don't hookers like have a little place in their boot

that they actually made. Yeah, maybe I should make you know what? I'm gonna make, that is the best, oh my God, I need to take a moment. I'm gonna make boots with, it's gonna be a statement for women, for feminism that we can start for feminists that we can have condom boots. And I'm have clothing that have like natural pockets, kind of like you have like those

iPhone pockets and stuff. I mean, I have a little thing in there for condoms. Wait, I'm seeing boots with like 50 condoms on each. That's the design. Just one. And every time you need one, you just rip them away. No, it's like penny loafers. It's like, it's getting a lot because they have like no left on the roof.

No, it's kind of like penny loafers. Like you always have the condom in it, but eventually you replace it. Like if you lose the penny. Okay, the point is you think she was a slut and she was like really in 2014, we really people think that I said absolutely. I know that women will think,

women will think that they will be judged if they use the condom. And that's what we have. And guys and girls, especially with judge for sure. So now what do you do? Not fit, it's not true. And then there's a guy and you're either sure. So now what are you going to do? Not fair, it's not fair. And then there's a guy and you're either your buzz during the moment and you want to have

sex. And how many times have you thrown, have you time to be thrown, caution to the wind? I'm going to go, yeah, we'll have sex. It's not that healthy. I can't believe my penis is not falling off. I can't believe your penis says that. I can't believe it. It's here with me right now.

I was assuming it is. I haven't seen it. But it was interesting. And you guys will read the article, but we we're gonna talk more about this in the show about people just Hoking up with without with reckless abandon not using honims and our people no one's dating anymore But I think it's important to know who's having sex and no one's having relationships anymore a younger the millennial I know God damn them too old. It would be great to go back in time. I know right. I think I invented that thing Yeah, really what you're about it earlier, like,

where you're not really a boyfriend, you're just kind of like a kind of a boyfriend dish. Yeah, there's a whole new term for it into the friends with Ben and Vic. Like I would tell girls, we're special friends. We're special friends. And they would go for that. But didn't they always want more from you?

Yeah, and then like, now years later, they'll say, hey, we were boyfriend girlfriend whether you like it or not. And like my wife would be like, yeah, I don't want you to talk to that girl. It used to be a girlfriend. I'm like, no, but I never called her that. So she's like, yeah, but you were a fucking her.

So it's the same thing. So you had you had fear of the girlfriend title for a lot of your whole life up until when? Did you go right from hell, up to two wife? Like you're my hug, you're my five. Yeah, yeah, well, I met my wife. She was like one of five girls that I was seeing and then I paired it down to a couple on a, you know,

did she know you were seeing five girls? Yeah, kind of. I think. He told me, do you get tell her five? I mean, it was a lot of mystery there. There's a lot of mystery. But I know I got burned. I had a girlfriend that I can, you know, I do anything for for three years. And I find it, I think I told you she was taking everybody here. So then I was like, uh, fuck this old girlfriend. She messed you up for that long. Yeah. Yeah. You really never got over it. And you said, you said, effort. I'm just going to start banging chicks and not trying. Yeah, I thought it

also, I think guys do this too, and they don't admit it. But like, you don't want your feelings to get involved either. So you try and lie to yourself and say, it's just about the sex and it's not, or you can just be friends and, you know, friends with benefits, but you're afraid of getting hurt. I think a lot of guys try and do that because they're afraid of getting hurt. You think that's why there's the whole trend right now? But why weren't men and women as afraid of getting hurt earlier? Now there's just more options.

Now it's socially acceptable. Do you think that women are being more objectified now than ever before? Now what do you mean in porn and life? Yeah, well, because so many guys, especially younger guys, watch porn, and that's how experience sex. And like, there's so many guys that don't even want a girlfriend because it's worth.

I don't think that women being objectified, I think that women are being, yeah, completely disregarded maybe for what men are seeing that they can't actually meet up to what they think is real sex and what actually women are supposed to. So it's be like in the bedroom. And that's all, I mean, there's so much, these are like our upcoming like 15 shows are gonna be out of the stuff because Orak should have a great guest on next week

about porn and the impact it has in the male brain and what it's happening. But it's true. Like, men are like seeing these hot with like, why are I having a gang bang right now? She's just giving me a bullet job. I should be gang bang with 10 hot blondes. I wonder if it's going to justify cheating too. Like, well, my girlfriend won't do that. So I gotta go get it some room. Yeah, well, I think it's leading to a lot of people just to find the fact that yeah they're having really bad stuff. They don't think that their sex life is good enough or it's what it should be. Everyone's disappointed sexually. I think it's setting the bar away. It's not even setting the bar high. It's setting the bar in in complete ridiculousness. It's not even realistic

that you think that you can have that kind of sex but if that's all you see. There's a void and you need to fill it. What do I need? You need to make porn. That's called what sex should be. I should. You know, on my list of eight. Oh, yeah, I just wrote in our okay. That's my blog for Patty Stinger this week is about no jack hammer sucks. So you need to actually make movies that show what sex should be like. I should and and that's on my list of 15 projects that I've going on right now is instructional videos. I'd love to hear from you my listeners Would you watch them if I made some video? I wouldn't actually be having sex anderson would be having sex in them I would be instructing them you being the backer on the clipboard. I would I wouldn't be having sex But I think that's a really good idea You know, I'm definitely doing more videos you should check out my YouTube page all that but I do think there has to be

There's instructional videos, but they're kind of cheesy and they're kind of updated and mine would be like me But on video with a couple having sex and we'd all be having fun It wouldn't be porn it wouldn't be awkward and we'd all have better sex and we'd learn god damn I have so much to do and the boots with condoms Why cuz squirting and see man? No, I just think cuz you'd have to be like the astute one like Yeah, but you'd have glass and a tip of your know, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly hey real quick keep trying to talk to you about it But the condom thing if you're allergic as well,

back in the day, all you could use is like animal. Lam skin. Lam skin, which was just horrific. Yeah, so bad for you. An animal's. Oh, it was extreme on your way. The doff, exactly. So now that's no longer an excuse,

because they have synthetic that you're not going to be allergic to. Exactly. And that's so true. And it's you there are. And also condoms have changed so much that it's, I can see that it's overwhelming. If you go into a store now, there's 50 million to choose from. And you're like, what do I choose?

But really, if you really read the boxes, you can see that, you know, you, if you can't have latex, you can have poly, I, I'm telling you just everyone tied these skin, SK, Y, and they have like 10 different kinds. And I'm just sort of obsessed. But I need to find other guys to test them with. This is actually a good thing. I could- A contest.

I'm going to have a contest who wants to have sex with me and test out condoms. Just kidding, don't email me about that. You can email me your questions to feedback at sexwithelme.com because I love hearing from you and I answer your questions on the show. I answer them on Facebook, I answer them blog, so you gotta check it out. And I will be answering some on this show as well tonight. I'll be answering them. Um, speaking of which, it's funny that you just said that.

One of our sex in the new stories right now. 11 things you should never learn from porn according to a porn star. Would you like to hear them? Yeah who's the porn star? She named? Yeah, Tasha Rain. I just assume it's a girl. Tasha Rain. Tasha Rain. I think she was on the show. I'm going to think of the Tasha about blood. No, really? I don't know. Tasha Rain. So most porn is created to reflect fantasy, not reality, and although we all enjoy watching our sexual dreams, visually enacted on film, it's important to remember that some things, while exciting, should be left with professionals.

So, I do, as you know, always encourage people to experiment with erotic desires and with their partners, and porn can be a great learning tool, but here's some things you should learn. You do not have to pop a huge load, and it does not always need to be on her face. This is friggin' amazing. It's so true. Pop a huge load, was that a quota, or is that a cue? That's a quote.

You do not have to blow your wad interface every single time. And I'm not saying that someone wouldn't be totally down with that and psyched about it, but that is not your only option. And if she doesn't swallow, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. I'll tell you that too. I got a tweet about that the other day. Wait, wait, what are the tweets that? The tweet was like, my girlfriend won't swallow. Does this mean she doesn't love me? I said, no, it means she won't swallow. You made him? Yeah, I just hope he doesn't have kids soon, because without going to line up thinking he should not be a father anytime soon. Oh, he's married. And this on later because it was a series of tweets. I don't want to talk about it.

And she won't only show only to the mission areas the whole thing. You can tweet me your questions to sex with Emily on Twitter. Okay. Number 10, you never have to do the position the pile driver. It only looks cool in movies. Uh, the pile driver where you know it is. You walker like all like wheelbarrow.. Yeah it's kind of like wheelbarrow. It's actually in my book. It's not a thing. What do you say?

I saw a picture of it in your book but that's not a real thing. Well, if you looked, yeah, they don't. I'm nervous. We're like if you look, yeah, well, it's a position that exists. And on the planet and you don't have to, if you're feeling guilty that you weren't doing it, you don't feel bad anymore. You can have sex with her when she's not wearing any makeup. She's still your babe. It's a light throw. Dude no we're still beautiful if we're not all done up like how you expect to speak. Don't you

don't look your way if you go go put some lips together. I can't tell if she's wearing makeup or not. That's sweet because you still put that stuff pathetic. That's what's how it should be. Do you know how many women live with guys who are so, and men vice versa, partners who are so judgmental and they're always picking on them and knocking their self-esteem and making them feel really bad about it. I've dated some of the broken pieces like afterwards and I've heard horror stories from girls that I've dated

who like had guys that they dated like that were like that. They were like, yay, you know that. You're not wearing that, you need to go change right now. Yeah, I would never date anyone like that. Like they'd just gain a few pounds or You're not wearing that. You need to go change right now. Yeah. I would never do anyone like that. Like, just gain a few pounds or you need to be sure you want to eat that second piece of cake. I'd be like, I would leave.

That's a silly thing. A lot of dicks out there. Toad, speaking of dicks, we're coming up with dicks soon. Penises, actually. Princess penises. OK. Number eight, you do not need huge equipment

to make her time with you pleasurable. How to is that? Why are you looking at me? I don't know. Well, because yours is huge, probably. Yes, I have no idea. That's the point. Now, this is the biggest concern that men have, is that their penis is, and no matter how

much I say it, it does not matter. And I've talked to you all, I've talked to you all, polls, I've talked to, we've talked about studies. I've heard from hundreds of thousands of women who are like, you know what, not that big of a deal. As long as it's not about the size of the ship, the motion of the ocean, the whole thing, as long as you know what you're doing with your mouth, your tongue, and your penis, you're going to be fine, and women don't care as much as you do, so there's so many other things

you can be worried about, like world hunger or something right now. That's going to be one of the most primitive things left over in. That men were rather penis. That they want, yeah, a big penis. It's just so primitive. I know. And they didn't go, but it doesn't go away.

No matter how many times I tell you that we don't do it. It's just simple. I know, it's not going away. I don't need to decide either. You girls are almost as bad. What about our breasts? No, about the dicks. Talking about the dicks, talking about the size.

We just talk about anecdotally, like, oh, he's huge if it happens to me, but it's not like we're and you say it's huge I mean you don't say it like in a bad way or a hum Do I'm like if you're dating with large boob Which would be like that would be like her asset you like she's really smart She went to Ivy school her breasts are so huge and if I was a guy say he's really generous He's emotionally available. Oh my god. It's cock is massive

What did you say? Okay, he's emotionally available, oh my god, his cock is massive. I know I went to that. What did you say? Okay, that's it. All right. I'm not a boob guy, so it's a problem. I'm kidding. Women don't talk. We don't do that. I think you do.

There's just a few select friends. We don't broadcast it, okay? If she goes down on you, okay, I love this one. Can we just halt here for a moment for like 15 minutes? If she goes down on you, you should always go down on your woman or even if she doesn't. But I don't understand why it should always be even if she doesn't. It should know you're right. Sometimes you can just go down on her and she doesn't have to go down on you.

Yeah, she's just the judging look that Emily just shooting my way. No, you're totally right. You can go down in her without her having to go down in you. I totally agree with that, but you should always go down in her. You should always try to police her clitori, clitorally or clitorally. You should be clitorate. In some way, you should pay attention to her clitoris before you stick your throbbing penis inside of her vagina. I'm just saying because when she's not warmed up for sex,

she's not going to enjoy it as much as she could had you spend a few minutes paying attention to her clitoris. I'm suggesting what? To not touch to not do anything down there. That just doesn't make sense. What do you mean? Like, like, so just like ramming in without any kind of. Oh, God, dude. Do you know how many guys just assume you're turned on? Could you made out and you like touch your nipple for 1.2 seconds? I think those guys are just trying to get to the finish line. They're afraid they're so worried before they get there. Well, that's the thing is that they got shut.

I believe that the reason why men are trained to go so fast and move through sex is because they've gotten shut down so many times before. And they're like, it's really gonna happen. It's like it's kind of like the male wiring. It's like football. They don't want to take a bunch of plays to get there. They want to make sure that they get across that play. I'm hard. I'm ready to go. And this is why I exist on the planet. I'm trying to tell you that no, we are not ready to go. We

didn't even see you coming. We don't even know what's going on. We're like hungry. We're like doing other shit French air nails. And you guys aren't ready either. I mean, you guys are not ready. You're like a still client. We are. And in fact, as you see when the vagina, my favorite word, gets aroused, it actually blossoms. It grows. The glitter is beautiful, like a flower, like all the Georgia O'Keefe paintings. Georgia O'Keefe, I was going to say. That's our vagina.

And you might never ever see that flower bloom if you're just assuming she's turned on because you made out touch her nipple, maybe rubbed over pants as you are ripping off her jeans and psych your penis inside her when you were hard. Beautiful is not the word you should use. Beautiful what? I don't think you should say beautiful. What do I say beautiful? It's a little different. You said that was beautiful when the Volvo opens. It is beautiful. Dude, you don't think the women's would judge people. Beautiful when Georgia a key makes them look like flowers. Okay, fine. So it opens Fleshy lumps. Flowers are They're they're they're they're blossoming Fleshy lunch our penis is beautiful. Yes, no, yes, I do think penis are beautiful some of them not all of them

Okay, not every penis I've seen it would I give a an award to? Summer beautiful the others just like my genus, but they're all like snowflakes. They're all different which is amazing Okay, sex can have breaks and it starts and stops all the time. So that just means that in the middle of sex, again, this is talking about being goal oriented. We're going right for intercourse. No, we're not going for intercourse. You can stop. You can have intercourse. You can pull out. You can start making out again. You can do 69, whatever. You can play with some toys. You can make a sandwich and then come back to the course. Okay, number five, you do not always have to pound away like a madman. I didn't even say it this time. Tasha Reigns said it. Jackhammer, you do not have to pound away. And

I don't watch enough porn, but it's on my list that are mostly are pounding away in porn, right? Like they're never like softly, they're never like softly. Which part is the good part? I think everything leading up in the dark. Like they're all sex. But once it's like repetitive, just the same thing over and over. Why do you think that there are legions of men at this moment pounding away like Jack rabbits and hammers?

Everywhere. Also, I think that even before. How do you are having sex at this moment, you think, in the world? What's that now? How many people right now I think about that kind of stuff? How many people are not in that sort of stuff? I think that there's so many do you feel about having sex at this moment, I think in the world? What's that now? How many people right now, I think about that kind of stuff. How many people are- No, I was like, I think that there's so many people having sex right now.

And maybe they even got them having sex because I talked about the beautiful Blossom English I know. People having sex while they're going to- Or maybe it made them- To this, yeah. And maybe they lost their boners if the men didn't think that was as hot as you did. I think it's also like a physical dominance thing

with guys, and I think that there's something to that. Like, they'd be doing that even if it wasn't for porn. They'd be like, dominated just pounding. I get it. And you guys, that's, you know, that's what, that feels the best to you to be truthful. Mm. No?

Okay. You will get her pregnant if you're not wearing condom and she's on a birth control. The pull out method does not always work. The pull out method is not that effective at all. Birth control is 99, 98% effective. Conum's like 97%. Pull out methods like I want to say that was 60%. Higher. Probably higher, but that free comes. That pre-com is very concentrated. Pre-com is very concentrated.

It's got a lot of experience in that. One of the things I love about you besides just your generosity, witness, and humor is your ability to just whip out the right sound effects, because that's your job. Yeah, exactly. That the Precom can make her pregnant. And so even if you don't think you're turned on yet, and you didn't even ejaculate, and you didn't even pull out, she could get pregnant. She may not always look that eager to go down on you. So one of the top tips I give to women

about performing all sex on the guys to be enthusiastic and to be into it. And sometimes she might not be that psyched about it, so don't do the head push. That was always my number one no-no to guys. When I first saw the show, I was obsessed with the head push. I'm like, do guys really still take a woman's head and just push it and the guys do that?

PS. Come on in. Have you done it? Sorry, housekeeping is coming in right now. No, I've never, I've never, ever done that. I have gone, made the motion where I bring myself up closer, so it's more convenient. Maybe.

What do you like? Scooch up. Hey a little scoochy. Yeah. Like, you know, doing something down there that I got all of a sudden I'm a little bit closer to her. Got all my knees or something. You know, inching closer. Okay, that's, I guess that's fine for inching.

If you're already naked and stuff. I'm talking about the no one's naked yet had like, like, had like, Oh, that's just like brooch. That's rapist. No, the guys are always like, and I always think to myself, listen, dude, had like that's rapist and I always think to myself listen dude I know you've a penis I know it's how you're super hard right now and I would have thought of my brain that

that's an option right now but I chose not to do that at this moment and there's no need I need you to push my head anywhere that's like borderline right right it's a whole nother topic okay consent is the most important factor in text says test rate that's number oneline rape. Right. It's a whole nother topic. Okay. Consent is the most important factor in text. Test test rate. That's number one. This is amazing. This is our whole show.

We haven't read it. These are great for test-trained porn star. And porn is just taking over the world right now. So you can't really like, I can't even walk out of my house without talking about porn with someone right now. Oh, and my next, I'm not even going to read my next news article because we're going to get on the topic but first a word for our sponsors, who probably

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And probably the only one you want because let's face it you all of your hand and you master it with your hand And it feels great, right? Love the hand women We've got all these other toys and tricks to me can feel so many different ways But you've got your hand. So that's why the fleshlight exists because it is a male masturbation sleeve it actually simulates sensations of real sex. And you just masturbate with it, you put lube in it, it feels amazing and it's like a flashlight, it looks like a flashlight, but it's actually in can

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go to sexwithme.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, use code Emily, and get a free bottle of their award-winning loob. So go to sexwithme.com, click on the Fleshlight banner, two day. And now, back to the show, before we're talking about your penises Okay, I found that fascinating all the porn tips because it's what I always say I guess because I agree

Did you disagree with any no, and I looked up Tasha? I'm fairly certain that I met her that she was in here Yeah, I think she was on my show Tasha range is a wicked girl. I should probably know this So I've done a lot of shows with point stars in the past, you'd like to check them out, and a lot of other people. Okay, so penis princesses. So there's I write a weekly sex column for glamor, and this was the topic of my sex column, sex glamor.com, on Sunday nights. They never had a sex column as you far. Did you know this?

Lamer didn't have sex. No, not online, not study. The magazine that George Costanza was pleasureuring himself to when his mom caught him. Really? A little fluke. They've always written about sex. They've always written about sex. But they're not.

They're at an actual in-house columnist. They've got the in-mouth. They've got the in-mouth. Exactly. So, these are about for guys that have particular penis issues. So, okay, I mean, it's picky penises. It's the guys who have those penises that you know, you're ready to go

and when you're in the bedroom, things are heating up and then bam, you know, your equipment gets kind of, gets kind of funky, fussy, like your heart, your soft. And, you know, I understand it because we've thoughts too, women are concerned about things in the bedroom, you know, and then we also know that you're very sensitive so we don't know how to always deal with it when you say come to quickly or your heart and then you're soft and then you're hard and then you're like, stop and go and you can't, you know, whatever it is.

Because we know that men are so sensitive to it and no pun intended, you're penis is sensitive, but you also have a lot of emotions. You say one damage you think to a guy who has penis help, never get over it. So we're thinking like, you know, we want to help you troubleshoot women, troubleshoot, and guys, this is going to help you too. Because- Choubleshoot what? Choubleshoot these penis problems,

the picky princess penises that women don't know how to deal with. Now who's picky? Who's the prince? Okay, so this is what it's confusing. We're talking about penis princess, so guys who like, it's kind of a guy. Princes or princesses? Princesses. Okay, princesses. Yeah, men. Princess then, princess? Princesses. Okay, princesses. Yeah, men.

Princess, then, princess. It's a penis princess number one. This is the performance anxiety guy. We're saying that you're like a princess because you're so fussy about your penis. But I'm not being offensive. Oh, people were offended a little bit. Few people.

People need to relax. How's it, dude? I'm just trying to make this light. Yeah, they're like, oh, no, whoever, guys, like this is not a great way to talk about penis. I'm like, oh, because you've been so kind to the female racially, I'm sure. Like, waiting having your girlfriend,

like, blow her lower in your face every single time. And these are guys that have these exact issues, probably. All I'm saying is I know it's confusing. I said this is being show, but it's like, okay, poor Maxx, anxiety guy. He's very eager to please. He really wants to be the penis he initially was

during the heavy petting stage of your relationship when you guys were falling around and stuff, but he gets stage fright and he freezes up and you know what happens to him, he gets a little soft and he like you know he needs to say little help, needs encouragement, he gets off to get scared, he goes back and just gave a little thought. This is the version, this happens like to 98% of all versions. It's true right? They get scared.

The first time out, you're like, I can't let it's happening your heart's pounding so fast enough blood for the pain Exactly, so you've been there down there So what we're gonna have to do is we just have to relax take sex off the intercourse and I mean sex intercourse off the table And then just like give a massage take the pressure off. He has to take his mind off it give a massage Have build up again say no big deal, cause it's really no big deal. The point of this article is actually to help men and women realize that we don't care as much as you do.

Like guys are tripping out, I'm gonna comment, and I think this is why a lot of men continue to have, I know this is why a lot of men continue to have the same problems, issues with their penises because they're in their head about it, because it happened before, it's happened again. Once they're up there, it's hard to get out so distraction workers wonders So if let's say I give you a massage

Using it like an aroma therapy candle like my Emily and Tony candles, which you should all buy because they You have the most rock and sex with them I don't even just have to buy it and then tell me that I'm wrong, which I'm not Emily and Tony calm keep on going Emily anyway give a massage and get him out of his head and hopefully the penis will follow Come out of his head and be hard. Okay, penis print to number two the four-play flounder flounder Okay, this guy his penis is all about the intercourse What I saw you saying something that I couldn't hear and I hate it Oh, you're getting freaked out. Hey, what did you say? I said they all have a little iteration.

Oh. I like it. Thank you. The four-play flounder. The four-play? Exactly. Flounder. But you can't say that in your breath because I...

It's just right if you take a giant gulp of whatever is in that. So thirsty, I'm dying. Okay. He can keep it locked and loaded for the main event, which is no problem. But the minute the focus turns off of him and onto you me the woman. He loses edge So to speak Yeah, no this guy, you know, he's into the like when the second he has to provide for play he flounders He's like I'm all hot and bothered. Oh, you want me to go down on you?

You want me to touch your breasts? I'm gonna lose my erection because that doesn't really turn me on right now And you know what I hate these guys Such a horrible curse. They don't get it though It must be if like if if working on you guys was I actually work and it and it was not fun for me That would be awful you're a the sex would suck. Yeah, can I tell you that there are many legions of men And I don't know how I, it's the same way I tried to explain to women about how you can learn to love the penis and love to giving blowjabs.

Like I don't know if a guy has, doesn't isn't connected with the fact that he's giving his woman pleasure and she's getting turned on and therefore that turns you on. How do you explain to a guy that that's how you should feel? Is there something wrong with these guys? Are they like, are they guys that we should be watching on a watch list? Maybe.

I got they dangerous. Part of me like to think that they just either they're not that dangerous. I think they're so selfish, so so centered. Because you date them for so sometimes they're going to be too long. You're like maybe he just was a little tired tonight. Yeah. These are the guys that are ripping us all off Exactly. They are these are not that you know, he loses edge and this bombs us out because you know Again, how about explain to a guy?

You've heard my story about the guy dated who I'm still good friends with If he doesn't listen to my show, thank God who just texted me a second ago When we dated a long time ago I he wasn't everything. It's great. We had great relationship And this isn't why we broke up, but it took me months. Finally, we were dinner or night and I sat our years together, but it was long distance. A year and a half, I said, listen, I had a, I had a one dirty martini, your invocation, and I said, listen, I got a question for you. I know that you're not that into like, performer or sex, and I'm just wondering, is it because

you might not feel like you know what you're doing? Because I'm so down with like showing you is it because you're not really into it or is it because you think I don't want it and he's like nah just not my thing. And I was stunned. I was like you know and that was you know I was like okay well you know you're not my thing and check please and it was pretty much over like a few days after that but because because the point is, it's not just that he wouldn't go to like point all sexers, it's really just not, they didn't make the connection. That's my story.

And no, but he's awesome and we're really good friends. What I'm saying is there's a lot of women who are also just in their intercourse. I talk about for a play all the time. That is like the majority of women want that. But I'm sure some guys can find women who are fine with just whatever, having sex and they all. Other psychos. Yeah, other social. Exactly. Maybe the shoe website for selfish lovers. Get it in. Selfishlovers.com. No,

of course. Because they only say that. Yeah, but they would just never ever connect. Right. Whatever. So, so, so the guy, any penis worth keeping around, he's got to keep his turn. People so when your guy is like manually or orally, pleasing you, I'm telling the woman, if your guy is a little bit, you know, gets a little soft, you can always reach your hand down, you can do 69, you know, you can perform more all on each other at the same time, so he's still getting his way,

he's still getting something out of it too. If you aren't in arm's reach of his mind, you know, member, you can talk dirty to him. That could do it right, a little bit. Little selfish guy, he's not turned on anymore because he's pleasing you, but maybe he's talking dirty. You know, you probably have to turn over and give him a low jab in the middle. But I'm telling you, number, some of these guys, and like, you know, when you're really getting into it, let him know that, oh my god, you're doing such great things to me.

Maybe they'll come around. That's a really good point. And I'm sure I'm not sure I actually don't I would I would okay I would love a man or woman to email me at feedback at sex with m a com if you've been with someone who has reverted their their an aversion to perform a role sucks and now they love it aren't you curious I'm packed I heard you saying I love a girl or a guy to email me. I thought you were just going to say eat me. And I'm, I'm not. I would have been a good one.

I did not say eat it. Okay. And enjoy it. So the girl or guy to eat me and enjoy it. Great. Exactly. Just eat me. Feedback.

So penis print number three, the latex hater or the condom hater. So we kind of covered this. We did cover this earlier. But you know, this is the penis that loves to walk on the wild side with no protection whatsoever. You know, guys, they owe him some sensitive with the condom on or I don't want to be held back. But the second you try to wrangle this guy into a protective coating, right?

A protective wrapper, he freaks out, the penis has an attitude and he tries to get out of any safe sex situation and leaves us all running for plan B. These guys are easy to spot because they're covered with with postules and herpes. Exactly! It's so easy. You can just spot this guy. So the best way to deal with him over here is to find out, to experiment with all these condoms that I'm telling you about, that they're not like the condoms you had

even two years ago. There's just so many different so there's like I said, I love the lifestyle skin condoms. They have a more natural feel than normal latex and they're clinically proven to enhance pleasure Because they also have one of these little studs on it and they have like this lubricant that's not going to infect a woman at all Because some condoms just give infections and guys are like I don't even feel like it's like next to where it It's the closest thing to wearing nothing at all. So condoms are not what you should think. Number four, the position picky guy. This is the guy that can only have sex in one position,

two, he can only ejaculate in one position, or that's his favorite one, that's how I like it. I girls are like that too. A lot of girls. What would I call someone? I gotta be on top, I have to be. She only comes when she's on top, there's even a song about that.

I don't know, it's true, that's the major, I'd say a larger percentage of women or guy on top there's even a song about it i don't know it's true but that's the major i'd say a larger percentage of women or rather on top but not all um... but the guy who only doesn't want to be worse than the one because the woman is more like okay you can be waiting for on the jackhammer and then i'm gonna climb on top yeah guy can come most of the guys can't but there's some guys you know we've all met this penis he's only happy thrusting interromote and it's often from behind. Right?

He's not looking at your ass, which we think, oh, at least he's looking at my ass. No, he's just looking at himself in the mirror. If he doesn't have things this way, he becomes fussy and will stop what he's doing and he'll sock or he'll keep going, but he will refuse to reach full enjoyment or he can't reach full enjoyment because he needs to have his position. The only way to handle this situation with this particular picky penis princess is compromise. Just like all things in life and relationships. Like break up high chart. Yeah, you do. You're like, okay, I get whatever the hell I want missionary. Please her for all I care. Like make sure that she has her way. Wait a minute.

She's an orgasm and then you can pound away at her I didn't want to paint you in a corner, but you hate barter of sex barter. I know you I Thought you hated that No, I'm doing favors for and I'll do this if you do that No, no, I'm not doing favors for I'm talking about like Really so the only way you can calm his powder like turbo pounding her from behind I get it But would you be cool if maybe sometimes I was on top or I did the spooning session or I use sex toy and then you could pound me from behind I'm talking about compromise and sex. I'm not saying I'm gonna

Give you a blow job because you took out the trash Very different. Yeah, it's very different very different. Oh, so glad we covered that. Okay, and number five the picky penis princess The the um the minute man. We all know about him. And I feel bad for him because he's the most excited and the most enthusiastic and the most sensitive. He's so excited. And you should know the guy that can go again,

not too long later. Some of them can, some of them can. Well, the guy's a can, that's just all. I know, because usually you're like, okay, get out of the way and then you go. But some guys can't. So what you gotta do is this guy, the life of the minute man,

and according to recent studies is way more common than you think there are several ways to help this penis through his shortcomings. Turned sure everyone leaves the party having a good time. So we always talk about this like clearing the pipes so to speak so we could do like a pregame masturbate before the date even. I have a lot of vlogging the dolphin on that in that movie. Vlogging the dolphin? Yeah. Maybe.

Well, the movie was, yeah, yeah. It's something about Mary, yeah. You got a vlog doll. Exactly. So you could do that beforehand. You could also do the stop start method. Practice that masturbating, or you get like a stamina training unit, because then the whole point of the stop start method, either during sex or during masturbation, is that you masturbate

into the point where you're about to ejaculate and then you stop and then you try to get it and then you learn it's training your penis but to stop start method during intercourse is when you are just like which is okay you have you have been with the woman and you think you're like oh stop babe just stop you don't want to come in yeah I've had sex yes okay so that happens a lot but if that's the only it's okay every once in a, but if it happens like the entire time every minute, then you could also, you could try promessant. There you go.

Which is a delay spray. Crocan works in your executive. It's the only, oh, dude. Oh, I know. Do not recommend drugs to my listeners. Sorry. It's the only FDA-approved delay spray on the market. It's applied directly to the penis,

and this can help guys last twice as long. And this way both you and the penis can enjoy every single minute of sex with no interruptions and actually works I mean I've talked about for us in forever because it really is I mean you can still feel the sex you last twice as long she is or orgasm everyone's happy so that's the penis is plus you know what with the Minuteman guy I would I would think that he is overcompensating in many other ways too. And leaning hard on her before he takes care of himself is going to be over so quick. So maybe, you know, don't be so worried

about it because that'll get out there into the to the chat. I mean, I've done this, but I've dated I dated a minute man for a while. Was he? Yeah, totally. It was amazing, oral sex, amazing everything else. And I really really loved him. And we did not break up because of his pre-munture judgment. Especially the guys little more experienced, I think, that have been around for a while. I would think that they, yeah, I'm making myself sound like a miniman. I'm not, and I have the no matter.

But I would just assume there'd be over-commonization there. You know what I mean? For sure, you have to. You've got to always, everyone always over-commonstates for the shortcomings, right? Yeah, shortcomings, yeah, it worked. Yeah, exactly. Oh, but then there was the guy that was,

I don't want to get into it. Oh, one guy is like, it's not my thing. No, really fast. Not very selfish. No, he was small and a very much older calculator. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, yeah. And selfish?

No, not selfish. Not the trick I'm trying to trick. Not the triple threat. He was a giver. Now, he was a giver. And so I'm just saying, so do you, all of you, no matter what your penis is, who is, we're fine with it.

I'm trying to teach women and men how to communicate about it because men get so frozen, they get a worse thing ever. And women are like, we don't want to talk to you about it. So hopefully this will help everyone have better sex and less picky penises. But if your penis is picky, we still love you anyway. Okay. Pick your princess penis.

So what else I've to say that I forgot we're going to sign off now. But the first thing is I want to say is to check out the sexual health expo. SexualhealthExpo.com. I'm giving away tickets. It's January 17th and 18th in Los Angeles. In Los Angeles, I can't see it. You can do it. You can do it.

Los Angeles, you live here. January 17th and 18th in Los Angeles. I'm giving away tickets. Email me. Feedback at sexmo.com. Why you would like to attend. It's going to be awesome. I'm giving the keynote speech, but that's not why it's going to be awesome.

But one of the reasons, Fowlman, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, everything is sex with Emily. And also subscribe to us and review us in iTunes. And I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, I don't want to be a dead horse here, but we're going back to Penises. Things are underlosing the show. I've got a product called Down Under Comfort, and you know, it's like dealing for your balls, but it's for women too. Anywhere you sweat, your lower back, your breasts, it's a cream to a powder formula. It's for many women, and it prevents sweat stains, chafing at the gym, and it keeps you fresh and dry and ready for action anytime.

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Down under comfort. My questions are going on my pekka. Emilyantone.com use code Emily, thanks for listening. My question is regarding my PECA. Emily and Tony.com use code Emily. Thanks for listening.