Sex With Emily - How to Stop Feeling Self-Conscious With a Partner ft. Jennifer Cohen

Episode Date: June 5, 2026

What if the key to a better sex life has nothing to do with sex itself? In this episode, I'm joined by my friend Jennifer Cohen to explore the powerful connection between wellness, confidence, fitness, and sexual health. We talk about overcoming performance anxiety, why exercise can improve desire and arousal, the role honesty plays in intimacy, and whether chemistry can actually grow over time. Plus, we answer audience questions about attraction, confidence, relationships, and the habits that help you feel your best both in and out of the bedroom. This episode is sponsored by Biologica: Head to https://biologica.com/SEXWITHEMILY to get started and get up to 32% off your first subscription order today! Take their Quick Hormonal Life Stage Quiz to find the formula that’s right for you. ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.  CONNECT WITH EMILY: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily CONNECT WITH JENNIFER COHEN: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealjencohen/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@therealjencohen YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@habitsandhustle Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/  WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text  Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe  Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  Chapters: 00:00 Why Sexual Health Changes Everything 01:14 The Link Between Feeling Good & Having Better Sex 03:12 Are Sex And Intimacy Actually The Same Thing? 04:47 Why Performance Anxiety Happens In Bed 06:10 The Trick To Stop Overthinking During Sex 10:00 Why Working Out Makes Sex Better 12:03 How We Became Friends & Started Talking About Sex Nonstop 13:44 How To Tell Your Partner About Your Insecurities 16:08 How To Actually Approach Someone Without Being Weird 18:43 Masculine Energy, Feminine Energy & Dating Drama 24:42 Biohacking, Wellness & Feeling Hot Again 27:38 Vaginal Dryness, Hormones & Things Nobody Talks About 31:55 Aminos, Creatine & The Confidence Glow Up 34:00 Why Chemistry Matters more Than You Think Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What I love after doing this work for so long is that it's true that your sexual health is your wellness. I think one of the biggest gateway drugs, so to speak, to feeling confident, is taking care of your body physically because that also helps you mentally. I think they say you're only as sick as your secrets. And I think the things that we walk around, that we have shamed about and that we're not talking about is actually making us sicker. Performance anxiety for sex could look like, how do I look? I'm so worried that I'm naked with my partner right now. They're judging my body. My whole platform and philosophy in life is about being bold and chasing what you want and not just like taking what you get.

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link in the show notes. Also, keep an eye out for curated collections coming soon. Hi everybody. Welcome to Sex with Emily, but it's actually sex with Emily and Jennifer. Okay, we are getting into sex and wellness. This is the real Jen Cone. She is the host of the top rated Habits and a Hustle podcast. She crushes. She's inspiring. You got to check out our Instagram right now, The Real Gen Cone. Cohen. Cohen. I never say. We have this thing all the time for 10 years. Tomato, tomato. We are coming at you live in Austin, Texas, from the biohacking conference, which is all about actually making ourselves well using alternative technologies.

So we've got to, you're so foxy, Jen. She's so foxy. She is foxy. Oh, thank you. I'm going to come by. I'm going to come around and we're often. Yeah, go around here more often. But she is my best, and so if you guys have any, any questions, you know you can always put the questions in the chat. But today we're going to talk about everything that we know about being well and being healthy and how it impacts your, really, your sex life. What I love after doing this work for so long is that it's true that your sexual health is your wellness. So whether you're exercising or taking supplements or going for walks, all the things that you are doing are going to impact, of course, going to make you feel

better but they're also going to impact your libido and your sex life so Jen and I are here and I think we're yeah and yes it's Cohen you got it whoever said that yeah it's Jennifer Cohn Cohen fuck I'm going and do not disturb oh I should do that also I also I also got a bunch of questions sent to me because we did a little promo yesterday that I'd be coming here yeah and so I am going to ask okay do want to answer my questions first we did a share they got Instagram and I was like what are your questions what are your sex questions and we thought Jen would get questions about creatine because she is also got to check out our Instagram she's working out she's hot she inspires me to work out even more I thought I was in shape until I met her

anyway but her listeners greetings from San Antonio in Texas so Jen got some questions from her her people and you guys can put questions in the chat and I have some questions that are coming up here you know. I have one question for Emily. Yeah. Because like she was just saying, I was getting all of these questions and the questions I was not getting were the fitness questions and health questions, but I did get a question that I wanted to ask your opinion on. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Someone asked me, is sex and intimacy the same thing? I know my response, but I wanted to get what you think. Intimacy is more like the umbrella term, like being intimate. Like this is very intimate sitting in a bed with you. It's intimate being friends with you, sharing a hotel room, Jen. That is intimacy. We might have a certain

intimacy with friends or family, but sex is, you know, sex. It's usually about connecting with somebody that you have erotic desire for. Or it could be also just physical, right? You could have a mental element to it, which would be preferred and preferable for some, like me. But some people can just do the act and it's fine. So I, yeah, so I believe that sex and my personal opinion, if you were to ask me, is I think sex and intimacy are actually, they can be very different. They can be very different. Ideally, it'd be great if they were together. Yeah.

And I think when we talk, yeah, I mean, that's great. It's true. Well, why would you think they'd be great if they were together, sex and intimacy? Because I think when you have sex with somebody and you feel a closeness or a bond, it's always better. Yeah. Rather than just having like a hookup drunk in a night stand, though your genitals might have been bashing up against each other, it wasn't necessarily that intimate, like staring each other's eyes. Yeah, exactly.

I feel we have a lot of intimacy, though, that way, but that's a whole other story. In a very platonic friend way. In a very sexual way, we are intimate. That's right. That is actually a great question, because I think there's also different types of intimacy. You can have a lot of intimacy with friendships also.

Yes, absolutely. And I think it's really important. Intimacy, vulnerability. Great question. I think it is a great question. Okay. Someone asked me this. I'm going to ask it to you.

How, also, how do you overcome performance anxiety? Okay, well, performance anxiety, I'm guessing, is it from a woman or man? Well, if the first question, I may, oh, no, that wasn't the first. Well, let's talk about that performance anxiety. Performance anxiety is so common, and I would argue that when people have performance anxiety in the bedroom, it really, really can impact our ability to get turned on, get aroused, have an orgasm, have an erection. And so how you overcome it is really how you overcome. It would be the same tips I would give you if you're having anxiety about giving a speech at work.

or social anxiety. And so how particularly you do it is first we got to get into our body. We got to take a few moments. We got to breathe and get into our bodies because usually anxiety is coming from our thoughts. Oh my God. So performance anxiety for sex could look like, how do I look? I'm so worried that I'm naked with my partner right now and they're judging my body. That's a lot of it.

What if I can't get an erection? What if I can't get an orgasm? And so it's always about taking a few deep breaths and then locating yourself. in the environment. Here's something I do when I get, I'll even get anxious with them when I'm with a new partner or I could do this when I'm anywhere is I focus on my senses. And so here's a great trick. If you're feeling anxious and you can do that right now, hopefully you're not anxious and you're just delighting in this show, is that I quickly look around the room and I think about my senses. So I say, okay, so in this moment, we can all do it together. What am I hearing?

I'm hearing that goddamn air conditioning. That was really, really loud last night. It was also blowing so hard. It was. Last night, we couldn't sleep. It was blowing on top of us. But I hear the air conditioning. What am I smelling? I'm smelling this vanilla amino acids thing

that I just drank. Sounds like vanilla. What am I tasting? I'm tasting a piece of chicken I just ate before I, you know. And so when you, what am I feeling? Okay, I'm feeling my hands on Jennifer, my butts on the mattress. When we locate all of our senses

and what we're hearing, smelling, tasting, you immediately become present. And so if you are feeling anxious about sex, you can just say, I'm feeling my hands in my partner's body right now. I am smelling this candle, I am, you know, all the things. And then that gets you in the moment. And also, if you're finding that you're super anxious,

you can also tell your partner, like, you know what, right now, can we take a beat? Can we slow it down? I'm just take an edible. No, I'm serious. Like sometimes I think a lot of performance anxiety or whatever comes from, you know, you get into this loop and you feel like,

like you're saying, it's usually about one particular thing. Like, oh, I don't think I'm, I don't think I'm attractive enough. I think I'm fat. I think I'm this. And if you can reframe that one particular thought and get to that root of what's really bothering you and reframe it. And also, a lot of times when you were just new with somebody, it's so natural to feel that way that sometimes just doing something like taking an edible or having a shot

of tequila, honestly, like it's something so basic like that can actually make a massive difference. Yeah. And once you do it a few times, it's like riding a bite. you feel more comfortable and the anxiety will lessen. I have to say there are some great gummings. We're talking about cannabis. Well, I don't love...

Sorry. No, but I gotta tell you guys, I would not be the first person to say that cannabis, if it's the right kind of cannabis, a little bit CBD, THC, you take a tiny edible. This is not the weed we had 30 years ago where you couldn't measure it. You could use, and there's great edibles too,

that just help you be more in your body and out of your head. You can actually feel more sensation. So, I don't know. I think alcohol is a slippery slope too. Sure, you can take a shot of tequila, but sometimes we're so anxious. We got the right answer. We got the right answer.

I would say, but I'm going to also say personally, I do like a little bit of cannabis for sex. A little tiny, tiny thing. I'm just keeping it real, right? Like, I think a lot of times when you try to get into your senses, I'm not good with that. Like, I know that's like the PC and the right answer, and it's much more like there's a lot of research and science behind it. But for me, sometimes when you're in that space and in that moment, it's really hard just to kind of feel your senses and then let that help you lessen the anxiety.

Sometimes you just need like a quick hit of something. Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to say no, but I'm also not going to be a push-in here. Another thing you can do, though, is let your partner go kind of a little bit nervous right now. Can we just pick a few deep breaths together? Being honest. Be honest about it. Jen, if anything, she is bold and she is honest.

And she's always putting me in my place, but in a way that's very, like, loving and helpful. our friendship has helped me a lot. Oh, I love you. I love you too. Because I think sometimes, like, the truth will set you free. Like a lot of people sometimes, you think you're only the one that's feeling it, but a lot of times the other person's feeling the same way. And if you put it out there and just, like, kind of bring attention to the obvious, like pink elephant in the room, it makes everyone feel better. Yeah. How could you not? Like just calling it out. Yeah, calling it out. I mean, because you know that, how could you not be anxious, especially with a new partner? Yes. And anyone who's pretending that they're not, they probably had too many

shots tequila or I don't even know people people get a little bit worried something new yes you might have sex before but it's the first time you're with this person this partner I love that yeah someone just how do you how does exercise help with better sex that's a great question I would Jen you want to answer yes okay number one it releases endorphins number one that's a big one so it's like that those happy endorphins kind of help you also exercise gives you confidence, right? So I think one of the biggest gateway drugs, so to speak, to feeling confident is taking care of your body physically because that also helps you mentally. So I think when people start working out on a regular basis, it does change the neuroplasticity in your brain to feel

more confident and also conscientious of your body. And those things make, like those things make a massive difference. So if you're talking about performance anxiety, start exercising. I think that will, that really kind of up-levels everything. And also, it also increases that your testosterone, your strength training helps with this testosterone, and it helps with all of these sex hormones, I'm sure you know, that they all work together, and it makes a big difference. Exercise is probably the, and it's also a great antidepressant and a great anti-anxiety medication. To me, it's like the best thing you can do for yourself mentally, physically everything. Yeah, spiritually.

spiritually, emotionally, all of it. We've both been big workout people for a long time. Also, it gives you confidence if you're feeling good in your body, you're building muscles, you're feeling better. Also, blood flow. That's a really big thing too. What I love about exercise is when you are, have simply more blood flow, because when you don't have blood flow, it can impede your ability to have an erection, have an orgasm. That's like, that's why that's why when you, it helps with the increase in testosterone, which helps, like, guess with black. Absolutely. No, this is such a great, great, great question. Okay, so any other questions? Oh, I have so many. I have so many. Are you sure? Yeah, which ones to you on there speak to

you that were great questions? And of course, you can put something in chat here. You know, a lot, okay. Oh, how did you guys become friends and where did you meet? We actually met through another mutual friend who's a podcaster named Jordan Harbinger, who has a podcast. He introduced us probably like 10 years ago, nine or 10 years ago. And he thought that, he was the one who's like, oh my God, you guys need to meet, you guys will be fast friends. And he was right. We became fast friends. She was on the podcast then. So go back and look at Joe Cohen on sex with them. Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah, you came into the studio. That's right. At serious. Yeah. Yeah. And I just loved you. We loved each Yeah. Yeah. And our friendship has really, really grown too over the years. Now we're spending a lot

time together, we're on the road, we're traveling a lot. So true. That's so true. Right, it came on your podcast, that's right. Go back and check out that episode from God knows how many years ago. Check it out. It was fun. But I don't think we talked about it. I think you're more comfortable with sex now too. Well, no, it's because I'm around this girl so often. So you have to become, it's like basically, it's like a muscle, right? Like after a while, like I've built such a, not a tolerance is the wrong word, but I'm so used to hearing certain words and certain phrases and conversation that now it's becomes part of my like part of my vocabulary. Yeah, it's like exposure therapy.

Exposure therapy. That was what I was thinking, yes. Well, it's actually true, and that's the big thing about the podcast. Exactly. No, I'm thinking it's funny because I never understood this, but when I first started, and people still say this. They're like, oh, my boyfriend and I were driving and we listened to your podcast for 12 hours. I'd be like, that's a long, frigging time to listen.

I think it's because of the repetition of hearing me talk about sex like I'm talking about the weather. Yeah, that is exactly it. Yeah. She talks about sex, like I'm talking about a squat or a lunge. So it all kind of like, and I bet you more comfortable hearing about progressive loading. Progressive loading, yeah. And aminos and all the things that I do and take and habits and all the things. All the things, habits and hustle. That is her podcast. Yeah. So Richard Heard says, I think the connection of health and sex is so important. You have an injury or difficult physical ability. What are some tips for navigating and conversation and connection? You have an injury or Okay, what are some tips for navigating that conversation connection if you have an injury or different physical?

I mean, honestly, what are the tips for navigating conversations about that? I think it's just really about... What's the question exactly, though? The question exactly is, I think if you have a physical, something that's going on with you, how do you instigate that conversation with someone? And I'm just going to be a fan of it. The more authentic and the more honest we are, the more we're going to feel connected to people. and then you'll easily say, hey, I got to talk to you about something.

Right now, I have this thing going on, or I'm feeling depressed, or I have this injury that's not allowing me to do certain things. I just want to tell you that sometimes it makes me feel vulnerable, or it makes me feel less connected to you, or this is how it impacts my life. And again, I think we don't talk about things because we're so afraid of being judged. In fact, I think our insecurities are probably the biggest thing that holds us back in our entire life, and I know you believe this too. But once you put a name to it and you find your people and you're able to,

talk to them about it, they hold space for you, and they're like, oh gosh, that seems really hard. I'm here for you. Then it automatically makes that fear go away. I mean, I think they say, you're only as sick as your secrets, and I think the things that we walk around, that we have shame about, and that we're not talking about, is actually making us sicker. And so finding your people that you can be completely honest to you, that will not judge you. And again, I know how scary it is because I think it's really scary to share that with somebody. But if someone judges you for it or uses it as a weapon against you, then or weaponizes your insecurity, they're not your person. 100%. Like how clearly can you tell who your people are and who aren't? I think when people are,

like, people like, and you love this, you just said that again, like hold space or I don't use those words. But no, I do not like those words. But I do think it's really important that I think a really good indication is if you can be honest with someone and tell them how you feel and what you're thinking and they're not judging and they understand. I think that's, I think all of this always comes down to being able to communicate with somebody and tell them what's really going on. Yeah, it's true. I love that. There's a moment for a lot of women when you suddenly realize, wait, when did feeling good start feeling like so much work? Like maybe your sleep is off or your patience is thinner or your energy just feels inconsistent or you just don't feel quite like yourself lately.

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Yeah, yeah, sure. No, no, no. Okay. I don't know. We might disagree about this one. Okay, go ahead. How do I approach a girl the right way? Oh.

I don't know. This one just came in. I mean, how do you like to be approached? Straight on. Tell me. Yeah. How do you like to be approached and how don't you like to be approached? I like people who are like straightforward and who, um, I like, I like guys.

I'm kind of like old-fashioned in the way that I like men to be men and like make the first move make you know kind of ask the girl out do kind of acts of like gestures showing that you're interested so I think if you're a guy don't wait for the girl like ask the girl out make a make a plan create a situation where the girls like wants to go out with you I'm assuming it's a girl boy I don't know what it is but I'm just I'm giving that as a scenario yeah I'm a I'm a really about that I really want a man to be a man and a woman to be a woman in a lot of ways especially sometimes when you have a woman who is a stronger personality or is in their masculine because of work and all these other things it's really important for a man to kind of show up

and take on that like male masculine alpha role and I can and this can be controversial as some I don't really care is how I feel yeah I love that Jen doesn't care ever really I never care. And I'm going to say something that's a little bit counter to that because while I'm with you and I think our generation, like we want to be approached, we don't want to make the move. But what I've been hearing a lot from men in particular is that there's a lot more fear around approaching and especially if you're a younger generation and you might not have as much experience just going up and talking to someone because you've been sort of in your phones, all the

approaching you've done has been maybe you slid into someone's DMs. So you're talking with a younger generation, right? I think the younger generation appreciate. I think all generations, to be honest. I've heard this from all ages. They're like, guys might be a little bit more timid. Like, I don't want to offend her, or I don't want to think I'm creepy,

or I don't want to be called out for something. So what's the alternative to the girl to ask a guy out? Letting someone know that you're interested. Just going a little bit outside rather than just waiting. Like if you saw someone, you don't have to say, like, let me get your number, but maybe you, what if you talk to someone for like 30 minutes? And you were really into him. And then he was like, okay, nice to meet you.

And he didn't ask for your number. And maybe he, like, what would you do? Would you just be like, what if you there was, you felt there was a vibe? But he was like, okay, bye. I don't think I would ask. So because this is a thing, right? Like I am, I'm a big believer. My whole platform and philosophy in life is about being bold and chasing what you want

and not just like taking what you get. That's literally like my tagline. But I do believe in certain, like, situations, it's really important to kind of create the, I guess, kind of like, what the kind of setup is going to be like, right? So if you're going to be taken on that as a female, the masculine role by asking the guy out and going after the guy, then you're like setting kind of like a stage, so to speak. Yeah. I don't love that.

For me. Right. So to me, I'm not not asking the person out because I'm not, I'm not being bold necessarily. But I, for me, a relationship dynamic works better when I'm with a man who wants to really like be a man and like kind of like, like, take the initiative and like make a plan and, you know, do certain like male oriented things because I don't want to be in my masculine. I want to, I want to have a chance because I'm so masculine and like my work stuff. I want to be in my feminine.

And that for me is how I can be in my feminine. Yeah. If you're not in that same dynamic with your work or your life in other ways, that's another thing. I hear you, and that's something that I believe for many years, and I would say that. Also, I've heard from men who actually all ages who said, I'm thinking younger just because they didn't grow up. When we grew up, it was more like you didn't have the phone, and you have to go to someone. But I've heard from some guys who say who are happily in a relationship, and they were happy that the woman let them know that they were interested. that they were like, hey, don't shoot my friend.

She's with someone now, and she said to him, hey, don't you want my number? After they were talking for a while, and he was like, I was so glad. She asked that because he was thinking his, so on it. He got nervous and he got nervous and didn't ask, and now they've been together, and I think he is very and as masculine, and she's in her feminine when it's appropriate. So I don't know. I just think I might have flipped my, I just think that. So let's say this.

I think every situation is going to have a little bit nuanced, depending on the circumstances, right? Yeah. I guess the thing is I just don't want there to be a pattern where it's the woman constantly initiating, constantly making the plan, constantly. Like, I think it's good to have a partnership. I think that's the greatest way to have it. But it's nice when, like, there's, like, certain roles that are defined early on. That's how I would say. Okay.

That's fair. That's fair. We got some, he says, men should be a man and women should be a woman. That is so refreshing to hear in this day and time. Thank you. Jen is refreshing like that. Thank you. a little bit more woke.

She thinks I'm too woke. It is literally crazy how her and I are so close when we're very different in some ways. We are, which I love that too. But I just think, yeah, I don't know. I have a hard time with men do this and women do that because I think everything is nuanced. And I'm also just trying to say. Things are nuanced, but I do believe there should be roles. Rules when you know what you want and what makes you feel good.

Like I've always excelled in relationships when the man was more alpha than me. They like put me in my place, so to speak. I hate to say it in that kind of way. But it's kind of true. Like they took control. They were more dominating. They were like, let's do this. We're going to go.

Like I don't need to be a man in every area of my life. So it's about initiating and taking control. Yeah. And I think, by the way, I do think a lot of women feel that way. And I think sometimes they don't say that they do. but that's why there's so many single women now. Because men are like are becoming less able for whatever the reasons are, social media, fear, whatever it is. Whatever excuse you want to give are not taking that alpha role.

It's very important for a man to, if they don't know, if they don't have it, how to learn how to be more that way. I'm just telling you how it is. I don't know what we're talking about is polarity. So everybody's got masculine in us and someone, everyone, men and women, we have a masculine. energy and a feminine energy. And when it comes to, and even if it's two gay people or lesbians, it doesn't matter, you have a masculine and if you're both in your feminine, nothing's going to happen. If you're both in your masculine, so someone has to lead in something, the masculine is the lead and the feminine brings the energy. Yeah, polarity is very important. You need the polarity

and you just got to find out what way it works for you. But what I'm saying is if men, I wonder if it's like a muscle that some men don't have it, exercise that muscle of making the approach. they could go out and learn that, but I would also say if a woman sees someone that she's into, she could also look at that comment. Jen Anderson and Courtney Cox together again. Well, you know what's funny. People always said that I looked like Courtney Cox my entire life. And people say I look like Jennifer Anderson when I was yes, when I was yes, when she was on friends all the time.

Same. We never talked about this. Oh my God, we never did. I got stopped all the time. All the time. People like, oh my God, you look at Jennifer Anderson. All the time. But she was younger like in the friends era.

Yeah. How come we never talk about this? Oh. Wait, thank you. That's hilarious. Because we kind of, do you guys, we should do more together. That is hilarious. That's very, like, on point. Sitcom coming soon.

Our life is kind of a sitcom here. I gotta tell you that. That is so freaking great. Yeah, it's great. You will take that. Okay. We've got a lot more question. If you guys, we have another, if anyone wants a pretty question here, but.

Do I have another question here? We've got a lot. Do you want to ask? This is Jennifer Cohn from, you guys got Checkered Habits and Hustle. Does anybody want to, does anybody want to, does anybody want to, to know any type of habits to be healthy and fit or not at all. It's all about the sex and relationships. Yeah. Everything is a habit though. Yeah. Okay. That's okay. Okay. So let's see. Okay. We got the girl. I mean, you want ethical nominate? I mean, Jen, I don't know if you want

talk about that. Let me talk. I'll talk. Jennifer friendly. No, no, no. Someone asked if there's sexual wellness conventions, but we can talk about that for a minute because we are at a biohacking convention that's about wellness, longevity, spirituality. and I wish there was more sexual health aspect here. I think it's becoming much more mainstream, more common than it was before. A little bit, but it's on here. Entire conference. No, I didn't see anything.

But I would say that everything that is here at this conference, like whether it's red light or stem cells or what else. Oh, you know what I found, I found, I felt, I really like this young goose. Skin care line that's very good. I found, I love that. Do you guys know young goose? We got, it's a skincare line that I've never heard about. It's really good. They have like NAD in there.

Also, True N-Aidine is here as well. True N-R. It's basically a precursor for your body to be able to make its own N-A-D, which is very important for healthy aging and cellular aging. What else do we see here? Yeah. I mean, that's basically the things. Essentialia.

Oh my God, the best mattresses ever. Yes, those are really good. They're non-toxic. Non-toxic. I mean, you spend a third of your life on a mattress, so you want to make sure that it's not- That's true. I also have their pillows, by the way. Very good too.

Oh, I'm getting their pillows too. Someone said this could be for you to. How do you tell the difference between energy well spent, spent your pushing past the limit? How do you know if you've pushed yourself too hard? Are you tired? Are you fatigued? Are you able to sleep at night? Those are some of the ways.

So if you're not able to fall, if you're able to fall asleep but then wake up a lot of times, maybe it's because you are not recovering. Is this a fitness question or more like in general? I think just in general. It's a good question, though. Yeah, that's a really good one to know. Like if you are, a lot of times we're burnt out or adrenals are failing from too much exercise or just overall burnt out, sometimes it's a hormone thing.

But a lot of times you can tell by how your sleep is regulated. But I would say that's a good one. Yeah. I think that the interesting thing is that you need a, we all need, it's so good to keep pushing. Jen and I, we push, we push, we should go. But I think the times where I get my most creative energy, The time that I feel like rejuvenated is when I like, I'm really like, this weekend, we're at a conference, we're going, but then I need to go home and I need to repair.

I need to sleep. I need to spend time just doing nothing. I get in, I crawl into bed. You don't do that. No, I don't take naps. I don't rejuvenate. I wish I had the personality type to rejuvenate. Like I just don't have the ability. I know you're really good with that. Like I'm, I love a bed. I love a nap in the middle of day. A nap, really, I can't nap to save my life. I don't think I've ever had a nap in all the years I've been a lot. In your life, you've never naped. No, never. I've never been able to fall asleep during the day. But not yet, my brain won't shut off, which is a whole other thing. Yeah, and for me, I like to just shut off.

Because it helps me. You're so lucky. Lucky, ducky. We're very different. Very in that way, yeah, for sure. That's great. Any other questions here? That's great.

Okay, so then we've got one here. Two people ask me about hyluronic acid for your vagina. These are the suppositories. Oh, yes. Looks at me like I know what that is. She might leave when I say, I like one of your past shows. You spoke with a hylerotic vaginal moisturizer,

but I couldn't begin to find which one that you listen to if you have any insights. Do you have any reputable brands. I've used estrogen cream. So, hyleronic acid is something that we've also put on our face. It's for moisturizing. And women-esque makes one right now, and this is what it's called. But there's a few breads.

I love the women's. S-1, they just launched, it is called Melt for You. And for women who have any vaginal pain or just dryness, you will notice it right away. Like, you know when you use some great hand cream for a few days, you're like, oh, my hands, I mean, imagine inside of you, it just, you put in it in at night and it just melts. It's like a suppository and it melts, and I love the women S-1s. That's what I would say to that. That's an easy. That's a great question. So anything we can do. And I know that she also took estrogen cream in the past. That can help, only part of it. So using something like that, I think you can always use a

moisturizer on all parts of our body and why not internal. Yes, I like it. You like it? I've never tried it but maybe you can I, where do I get this hyloronic acid from my vagina? I will give it to you. What do you mean? Just put it in like a suppository. Yeah it's like a little tiny thing and it melts. It has, it has, it has, I want to say the right things that it has. Have you used it? Oh yeah, I use it all the time. Deep hydration and it has, oh no, those are different. Interesting. Melt for you it's called. It's called Womeness and it's called Melt for You for Digness Relief.

Do you know what? I like, I like aminos. Does anyone here take anyone? Like you guys can't even answer me. I take aminos every day. Have you tried those? I'm actually drinking aminos right now. Which one's Keon? Yep. This is Keon. Really? Which flavor? Vanilla.

They don't have vanilla. They have mango. Oh, mango. Yeah. If it's the one that I gave you, it's mango. Does it taste like vanilla to you? It's not vanilla. It's mango, but it's delicious, and it's great for lean muscle mass to maintain your lean muscle mass.

Why are they so important hydration? What? For the aminos? What's this? Because it's impossible to be eating that much protein, like, because now, like when you're in middle age, like they're like, eat protein 4,000 times a day. But what I love about the amino is, number one, it's like the stimulus that you need. You don't have to be eating crazy vasts of, like, protein shapes.

So it's giving me protein? No, it's helping with, it helps maintain your lean muscle mass. Okay. It helps. Is this why you look so lean? Yes. That's not part of it. Like, well, I think it's a big part of it.

It's like doing the same boring things every day. So I take that. I also love mono-vitality, which is like a show. It's the stuff I gave you. It's like a liquid and you put into water. Oh, okay. It doesn't taste great, but it's actually amazing. It's called mono-vitality.

It's a, it's really good for your immune system. Talk about recovery and talk about really like hormone balance. It's been really a game changer for a lot of people because it's like it's minerals from like the day. Edsy basically. Okay, yeah, that's great. I mean everything that we talk about and Jen talks about and I talk about, like honestly we need to be do all these things that make us feel healthy and better in our body because it's going to impact our libido as well. You can't separate them. So everything that you're doing what you're drinking, what you're eating,

if you're drinking too much alcohol or you're not eating foods and make you feel good, guess what? They're also not going to feel great when you end your body when you try to have sex. But same thing goes for stress. You got a spike in cortisol and you're stressed out. It's also going to be hard to get aroused so it's all related sexual health is wellness so that's important too we're going to a comedy show in a minute we are we starts in 25 23 minutes aye yeah maybe there'll be an opener that's not good yeah I don't okay so any other questions come in I guess we've been on here for okay what else is going on is how long did these things normally run for well usually they run for about anywhere from like 30 minutes to an hour but you guys know

this is going to be a podcast next week that you can come listen to if you've forget anything. Let's see what else we can talk about. Jen, is there anything else that you want to share? Let me try to say, I want to answer the questions that came to me. Yeah, let's do that. Okay, so also, well, we answered that one. Should a wife initiate sex more than the husband? We already did that one.

Someone said, can you take, oh, oh, yeah, she already did. What? She asked, can you take aminos every day? Can you explain why it's good for us? Absolutely. Take aminos every day. So I take them every single day. I use this brand K-O-N because it's K-I-O-N, because it is to me the best tasting.

I know the founders and they are high quality, but it makes a big difference. So people also don't know the difference between aminos and creatine. They're both important. Creatine is more for, like, you need the stimulus, you need to exercise, so to speak, to have that energy and to help with like recovery and all those things. But funnily enough, the aminos is the stimulus.

You don't need any other stimulus. So you just drink them and it really helps your body with like it's it's really good. I really can't say enough. Can you take it? Can you take more than one dose every day of the amino? No. I mean you could. It's not going to hurt you.

But you don't need to. But I think, listen, I take a little sashay of it and put in water. I think that's fine. You put them in shake, smoothies, whatever you'd like. I think one, you could take more. It's fine. But I just personally, I only take them in the morning. And it's also, it can be, it can add up, like expensive to buy it.

Oh, it can be expensive. So just take it once maybe. Once is enough. If you're, if you think that you're going to build more muscle by taking more of it, I don't know, I don't know if that is the case. I've been taking it. I take that every day. I take creatine every day. I take my trinogen, of course, every day.

Yeah. I'm not a massive supplement person, but there are certain staples I've been doing for like 100 years. Yeah. Yeah. Which I am very impressed by you that you do every single day. You do the same. I do. Stick with your routine.

I'm very, very regimented with that. stuff. Yeah. Okay, let's do one sex. We haven't gotten too much into sex stuff, so I think we should, John. I think we should answer a sex question, and then we're going to go. Okay. Okay, this is what we've got, two questions about vaginal moisture. Which one would we like here? So interesting. Hi, Emily, I submitted a listener question through your website about being an emotionally healthy relationship that feels a little sexually restrained, confusing compared to an intense chemistry I'm used to. It touches on his childhood emotional suppression, spontaneity desire, and whether emotional safety can sometimes feel less erotic at first would love your thoughts.

Okay, so we can talk about that. When you meet somebody and you have that instant chemistry, and sometimes that is incredible, right? We have a chemistry. Maybe there's something from that person that reminds us of something from, I don't know, it's kind of a forbidden thing or you have this instant chemistry and that can feel really great. But sometimes we know, too, that when we have that chemistry, sometimes it's not always the right person for us.

Again, every, it's a case-by-case basis. But what she's saying here is she's used to really intense relationships where they've got lots of chemistry. With this one, it's sort of, it's less erotic. It sort of has a slower build, but she still feels connected to them. And I would love Leah, maybe you could call in one day because there's more nuance here, but I have to say there is sort of an epidemic right now

of a lot of people getting into relationships where they have zero sexual chemistry. So I know you're saying it's less erotic, but I want you guys to do a nuance. There's people who are getting into relationships. They're saying, you know what, we are best friends. We have the same values. We like doing the same things.

We like the same people. We laugh at the same jokes. We both are the same religion. We want to live in the city inside of the country. We want to have 2.6 kids. But you know what? We don't have any sexual chemistry. But that might come later.

And I'm here to tell you that it doesn't come later. If you do not have that spark initially, and I'm not saying there's degrees of spark, but you don't even have a little inkling of a spark. Like you're like, I'm really not attracted to him, and then you talk yourself into it and hoping it comes later. I'm here to tell you that train's never coming. And there's an epidemic of a lot of couples

who've gotten married and checked boxes because this person's good on paper, and then they get to a point maybe years later, or it could be... I don't even think it's an epidemic. I think it's been happening since the dawn of time, to be honest. It's happening a lot more right now than I've seen in the past. Really? Okay, that is true.

It's happening since the dawn of time. That is true. I'm noticing it more and more from other people in my field as well, saying that they're seeing a lot of younger couples in their 20s and 30s, and this is somebody who's been in the business for 30 years as a sex therapist, and someone I really trust who's been a mentor to me, and he said he never saw it at this rate with his clients that he sees, that people are signing up more for safety. Of course, there's like arranged marriages or marrying for money, but he's saying in couples who are otherwise just really fit, they well fit, they never consider. sex and then they end up missing it and I think there's a lot of reasons for that I think that a lot of the younger generations even 20s and 30s might not have felt as in touch with their eroticism or their sexual energy and it always became a little bit murky maybe they were raised on screens maybe they were raised with a lot of fear a lot more helicopter parenting whatever

it is sex they didn't really know what it felt like to feel chemistry I I think chemistry in relationships are muted more than it was in the past. So you're saying chemistry is really important at the beginning. I agree with that. I don't think you could fake chemistry. I agree also that if you don't have it at the beginning, good luck having it in 20 years from now. Yes, you will not have it. You're never going to have it.

And the first thing I hear, and the most... I should say that, but you... The most common... And I have to say for 20 years, the most common question I hear from couples is, we've been in it together for 10 years and we're no longer... We no longer want to have sex, and the sex drive is going to... down and we're not interested in sex and my first question is always how was it in the beginning and if they're like oh it was amazing in the beginning and it was that then we can have

then we can go but if they're like then we then we've got something to work on but if they say we never had it it was never that great it's hard yeah exactly you could decide other things you could decide that you want to open up your relationship to other partners you can decide that it's time to split up or you can decide that you're going to be in a sexist relationship but you're not going to rub two sticks together and start want to start you know boning each other. Okay, I think that's it. We've got to go.

Okay, we got to go to a comedy show and laugh more than we are even laughing. Now, Jennifer Cohn, Habitin Hustle. She is all about teaching people to chase what they want instead of settling for what they get. Tell them more about what's going on. We're going to find out. Yeah, find me on also Instagram, TikTok, at YouTube. At the Real Jen Cohen. And my last book is called Bigger, Better, Boulder.

I don't know if that's something that you'd be interested in. reading but if you do it's super inspiring it's really it's about really kind of being bold teaching you the skill of being bold yeah which it's a skill anybody can be more bold and get and go after what they actually want i just want to say that you've taught me that too i always think i have this thing what would jencombe do in my mind like oh she would go she would go for it again she would take the other what you only take is the the chances you don't get what is it oh god you miss you miss every you missed a shot that you didn't take or something like that there's a million of those but yes true and i'm like did i try heart

Have I taken another risk because that's how you're going to get. 100%. Yeah, be bold. Be bold. Be bold in and out of the bedroom, everybody. Okay, thank you everyone for listening and tuning in. This is what I got to say to you all is this. Don't forget to follow me on all social media platforms and sex with Emily.

I give really good newsletter. Sign up at sex with Emily. And I'm going on tour. Oh, yes, I probably will show up. She's going to show up, okay? I tend to show up a lot. So if you do join my newsletter, you can. be notified when I'm coming to a city near you. The first city I'm going to is Chicago on July

7th, I want to say. And if you miss parts of this episode, it will be released next Friday, June 5th. All right. Thanks for listening to Sucks with Emily. Stay curious. Thank you. Bye. Thanks, bye, everyone.