Sex With Emily - How to Succeed at Online Dating
Episode Date: June 3, 2015On today’s show, Emily welcomes fellow podcaster and dating expert Anna David to tackle the topic of online dating. Together, Emily and Anna dish on personal preferences, dating disasters, and uncan...ny coincidences they’ve come across while perusing the cybersphere for romance.  Why does every guy on Hinge play guitar? What’s with all the tigers on Tinder? Why isn’t anyone responding to your messages? Emily and Anna have answers to these questions, plus tips and tricks to help you find success with some of the more popular dating apps.Online dating is the new frontier of love, and this podcast is full of advice to help you do it right! Don’t miss it.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today we're talking about the
do's and don'ts of online dating. Don't know what to say in your profile in the
first message which pictures to use. We've got all the answers because I'm here
with relationship expert and very good friend Anna David. We're here to give you
the advice that you need and we're gonna share some of our own personal stories.
This one's gonna be good, so thanks for listening. [♪ music playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, playing in background, eyes. They call them in a bike on me. Hey, Abelie, you got a boyfriend?
Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.
He thinks you're kind of cute.
The girls got a hair stand.
Oh, my.
The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common knowledge?
What do you mean, like laundry?
It's drinks?
Can we not talk about sex so much?
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God.
I want to feel so grown.
Being bad feels pretty good.
You know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with.
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That's it. I'm Lantoni.com. Thanks for listening. I do have one of those candles and it's amazing. Do you love it Anna?
I love it. I should bring you another one. I will come to your office and get one. Really? Okay, because we're neighbors
So yeah, I'm glad it's a good one. Do you use it on anyone? I sadly I've only used it on myself
You know, I'm not really someone who's like,
okay here we're going, let's go get the candle.
Right, do you know what I mean?
But you just light it when you get home.
Do you?
I like candles whenever I have guys come over,
or anyone come over.
Right.
So then you're just like, oh BTW, guess what?
This is also a massage candle.
Yeah, mine's a candle,
candles get lit in the bathtub.
Oh, okay, you're big bathtub.
Sort of a bathtub for one, you know. But look, honey, I love, no, it's a candle's get lit in the bathtub. Oh, okay, you're big bathtub.
Sort of a bathtub for one, you know.
But look, honey, I love, no, it's coconut.
I use it.
You think I'm massaging people every day of the week?
Yes.
I use it on my body for a good but night too.
Okay, this is Anna David, the lovely Anna Davis.
She's been on the show before.
It was probably about a year ago.
A year ago, really?
Okay.
So Anna is an author, a journalist, has her own podcast,
the Afterparty Pod. She's own podcast, The AfterpartyPod.
She's the creative The Afterparty Group,
a company that's dedicated trying to show addicts,
sober and not sober like,
and the loved one of addicts, what recovery can be.
What recovery can be like?
And we're also getting more into like,
healthy relationships so that it's expanding
to not just people interested in addiction or
suffering from addiction, but anybody who wants to have healthier relationships.
Right. Because a lot of times people do drink too much. I mean I think it's all connected.
Like you go on dates and you only associate that with. It is connected, but I think that
there's no one out there who knows how to have a perfectly healthy relationship. And so that-
Not even us, because we're experts. Except for you, oh.
I certainly don't.
Right.
I do.
I don't.
I do.
Well, the reason why you're here, for many reasons, you're here,
because you're awesome.
And like I said, we're going to get
into the online dating, do's, and don'ts.
I think we just need to talk about this.
And is my, we've become each other's dating sponsors,
if you will.
So what happened was, I'm not dated much online,
and at all, actually.
I was on Tinder.
I had one Tinder date, blind Tinder date,
on my show about a year ago, too.
What?
Yeah, I met this guy in Tinder,
because I was like, I'm gonna try it.
And it was funny, because I kept saying,
I gotta go, we were chatting,
and I said to radio show, and he's like, oh, when, we were chatting and I said to radio show and he's like,
oh, when am I gonna, and every night I was working,
he's like, what I did on your radio show for our date,
I said, yes, you do.
And it was actually really funny show,
but then up until then, I've never done it.
So I'm like, you know what,
I, everyone else has done it,
and I've not out that much as I should,
I'm gonna try it.
So I went on hinge, which is like Tinder.
So that's, so people always hear about Tinder,
which I've done both of them. And I have been doing Tinder and Hinge at the same time.
Tinder has a bad rap right now. Well, I think that back when it started, it was this sort
of, you know, it's like the club that's undiscovered. It's really great. And then everybody
hears about it. And then it's Bridget Tunnelnel and then it's overcrouted and then you don't ever want to go again. And hinge is like Tinder but instead of just giving
you masses it gives you 10 options a day so you actually look at them and don't compulsively
kind of get in that thumb swiping where you're you know you're going through people and then
you're like wait a minute that person looked okay why did I just swipe? Yeah because you get in
this like yes yeah this like obsessive dense and you're like swipe people and then you're like, wait a minute, that person looked okay, why did I just swipe? Yeah, because you get into this like, yeah, this like obsessive-dense and you're like,
swive, swive, swive.
So just explain how it works.
So if you don't know is that you, with both of these apps, which look very similar, it's
really just, you see the people's pictures and the thing about hinges that you have to
have a mutual Facebook friend?
Yes.
Sort of.
There's a few.
Still that you don't, they're like, you have like a third connection, but mostly you have
to have a connection through Facebook. And then yeah, they only send you time a day. And it's don't. They're like, you have like a third connection, but mostly you have to have a connection through
Facebook.
And then yeah, they only send you 10 a day.
And it's really, you look at the pictures and you swipe left if you like them, right?
You press right at left and you put a heart.
And then if they like you, the thing is there's no rejection.
So if you like the person, you star them.
And if they happen to see your photo and they like to do it, you're profile, then you get
a match.
And then you start messaging them through the app, which is a whole other cluster.
F because I'm like, I need my assistant to start like literally like an Excel
spreadsheet because then you get all these matches and then they're messaging
you go back to the app and you're like, which guy was this? Did I like him? Was
he interesting? And so anyway, I was and and I have different issues with it
because I just started it. And so I was coming back to my office from a meeting.
This just happened.
This is my aunt's here.
This is like at State of the Emerge Museum,
like you've got to come in.
It just happened, but it happened so much.
It happened, right.
Recently, exactly.
So I was coming back.
Our offices are very close, which is awesome.
Yeah.
And I couldn't go back to my office for a little bit.
And I was like, I'm coming by.
And so I went by.
I was like, Anna, I'm on-hand.
And every single guy, it's weird. You're'm coming by. And so I went by and I was like, Anna, I'm on-hand and every single guy,
it's weird, you're a mutual friend.
So should I date these guys?
I'm not in a single, let me take a look.
So she looks at my, grabs my phone,
looks at all the matches.
And literally every single one I had been out with,
like at some point and didn't like a new,
guess you probably wouldn't either.
Or was just a platonic friend that I was pretty sure
you would not be interested in.
Exactly.
So she cleared out my whole thing.
I'm like, yeah, she's like, I went out with him a month ago.
I went out with him.
I'm like, my friend dated him.
So I was like, OK, we've got, I said, so this is very fresh.
Because to me, it was a, and I don't know,
I don't talk a lot about my dating life in the show.
And it's not because I've gone in phases been 10 years.
But lately, I was kind of seeing someone that I just, whatever I was casual, not much to
say, which is interesting.
So now dating again, I got a lot more stories for you guys, because there's been a lot
happening, but so anyway, I just started to like pick it up again, and it was just like,
it was a little overwhelming because you are getting all these messages, so the funny
thing is when I say jokingly though, but kind of true that we're our sponsors, we have
different issues with it. So for me, I'm not great at like, I don't want to make that commitment, when I say jokingly though, but kind of true that we're our sponsors, we have different issues with it.
So for me, I'm not great at like,
I don't wanna make that commitment.
I'd rather hang out with you.
Yeah, I agree.
I'd rather go to your barbecue.
I'd rather see my friends.
I'd rather be open than like, you go to a day,
you drive across town, then you have a bad date for an hour.
Yeah, all right.
I can't get that time back.
That goes my hour and a half.
I never get that time back.
So Anna was like, just do it, Just go, you know, start dating.
And then for you, there were some profiles.
I was like, oh, you would might rule someone out.
And I'd say maybe consider that this, yeah, be more
of a truth thing.
It's not what you think when you see them.
So we're encouraging each other.
And so recently, you go, Anna.
So I go through yours.
And I go, yes, yes, no, no.
Okay, well, maybe we have different taste.
Cause I think we do a little bit.
And then it just so happened that I was having a barbecue
that weekend.
And so I said, well, let me invite a couple of these ones
that I know and you can just knock it out.
You're gonna get out with that.
It was like speed dating and Am's barbecue.
It was awesome.
And I meant to tell you, that guy brought a girl.
Oh, he did?
He did?
I didn't even talk to him.
That's why I said, I know.
And we didn't talk about this kind of awkward thing I did,
which is I go, I was talking to you and Jeff,
and I go, hey, blah, blah, blah.
You guys already, you guys kind of know each other,
but I was talking about him and Jeff,
but then it seemed like I was talking about you too.
Did you even catch the user?
I didn't even catch the user. I didn't even catch the user. This is the guy that about you too. Did you even catch the lead? I didn't get it.
The guy that, this is the guy that like,
we like each other.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't catch it at all.
Okay, so anyway, so we go through it
and you were like, let's make sure
that neither of us are currently messaging
with the same people because we don't want to get
into like that weirdness.
Right.
So, we confirm there's no crossover.
And then later, I guess later that night,
I end up sort of messaging with someone who,
matching and then messaging with someone who was on your list,
but it didn't hit me because I didn't know anyone.
He was on your list, yeah.
So we are messaging and messaging.
Okay, so first of all, can I just say?
Yes.
I had a first date with someone who seemed okay.
Then we had our second date, a brunch date,
and I was, he never spoke.
It was the most awkward.
It was like, what did you do this weekend?
Nothing.
What are you doing there?
It's a date, nothing.
Like, it was just conversation.
Because we're second date.
Because we're also gonna give you,
we're gonna get in some tips and stuff,
but we're also gonna tell you some of the,
we wanna give you the real lowdown of what happens.
So the first date was great.
I would not say great.
Great, good enough to go on a second one.
It was 45 minutes and it was good enough, you know.
And so, and so I'm just so unhappy at this.
And I'd mention my barbecue to him, whatever, anyway.
So, cause I was having one that, anyway.
So I go, so that's that.
Later that evening, six o'clock to be precise,
I go on like a drink state or whatever,
and I don't drink and he did.
Oh, I walk into the place and who's there
about my brunch date.
Your brunch date, the one that you look,
that's right.
You none know that.
No, you texted me that, but I was just,
okay, right.
There was the boom.
The town is too small, so the guy you went on
the brunch eight weight that you were not interested in
because he was boring.
Yeah.
You're out with someone six hours later.
Yeah.
And four hours later.
And he was there.
He was there.
Was he on a date, too?
He was sitting outside with a group of people.
And I just thought that's so crazy.
And I just sort of went back past him without even.
Okay.
I don't think he saw me.
That's hilarious.
I was inside for two hours and so I thought on this date
Yeah, I'm gonna see and so I thought we'll be gone and I go out and he's there. I said whatever
I don't think he saw me. I hope right so
So sit down with the six o'clock realize that for various reasons not appropriate. I love we got not appropriate right um
leave and then I get a text from you the next day.
So then I go on a nine o'clock date that night.
I go on a nine o'clock date and I'm sitting there with my date.
This is the same exact evening.
I had to talk to you this whole day.
And I'm sitting there with them and it's going well, but I see that there's some problems
with the guy.
He's probably not my match, but he's interesting.
And we're talking, talking.
It's going, you're a conversation flowing, flowing. I'm like, yeah, he said, well my match, but he's interesting. And we're talking, talking, it's going, you're a conversation flowing, flowing.
I'm like, yeah, he said, well, how long have you been on this hinge?
I said, oh, you know, it's funny,
because I'm actually a little hesitant about it, my friend,
Anna, we're doing kind of doing it together.
And he's like, Anna Hill.
And I said, like, you know, Anna David,
he goes, I just went on a date with her at 6 o'clock.
And I was here on a date with him.
I was like, you did?
And then he just shut down.
Like he was so embarrassed.
He's like, but I was going to do it with my kids.
And I told him, like, don't hurry, it's cool.
I'm sure it's all good.
It's all good.
So very small world.
And I had a date with him, too.
And the best part was, neither one of us were very nice guys.
Like, we're not going to marry him.
But we both, at the same time, I said guess who my date was.
We had the same date. And we both texted each other the same. Pretty we both at the same time I said guess who my date was, we had the same date,
and we both texted each other the same analysis of what we thought were the issues with him.
And we have similar tastes, and the funny thing is when I first met Anna,
I met Anna with my first love, when in my 20s. I was at a party in northern California,
and this guy was very loyal, very good. All of a sudden I'm like, where is he? We're at a party in Northern California. And this guy was very loyal, very good.
All of a sudden I'm like, where is he?
We're at this party, it's Stinson Beach.
Like he's out, it's a party.
I can't see, it's dark.
He's flirting with a girl named Man of David.
I don't think so.
And I'm like, who is this, and a David?
He loves her.
So cut to, like I run into you
because you also do relationship experts stuff.
Yeah.
And years later I'm like, and I know you are.
You don't remember me.
I'm like, you were on my max and radio
show you in New York you walk in and I'm like who is
this gorgeous girl you're like we know each other right
I'm like you like my boyfriend so cut to now we have
similar tastes clearly and we're like same age guys
like so now we've got this whole dating thing and so
that's our history so we can give plenty of tips.
Let's do that.
Okay.
We're just going to go into it because it's important.
Oh, and if you want to find Anna because she's hilarious and smart and great.
It's at Anna B. David on Twitter, at After Party site and then your what's the main website
that you want to.
After Party Magazine.com.com.
Don't think you need to put that anymore.
Who knows?
What's the modern world?
And then do you have to do WWE anymore?
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
No one's going to do anything.
Yes.
You should do.
You can crash.
I'm saying you don't have to say all that.
I remember people would be like, WWE,
my mom's also said that.
Go to WWE.
I used to say Earl, like the man's name.
That's what I thought you are.
I thought. Oh, that's so funny.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So, oh, but the podcast is called After Party Pod.
I interview, it was just sober.
So I was invited, right?
So you were not invited.
So but I had Moby and Mark Marin and Dr. Drew, obviously not sober, but Emily's very good
friend.
Right. And mine.
And now I'm having people talking about relationships,
which is why you're coming on screen.
Oh, I would love that.
Yeah, okay, good.
So let's break this down.
I heard of our stories because I was like,
you just gotta come and talk about this
because this crazy wild, wild west world of dating,
everyone's always asked me like,
well, how should I date?
How should I be able?
And I was gonna break down all the different dating apps
because really it does seem like Tinder at hand.
I just want to clarify one thing.
People called Tinder a hook up app.
And I don't think any app is any one thing.
If you don't want to hook up with someone,
you can say it on your app.
You can show up.
They're not putting gun to your head and say,
nobody is forcing you to go hook up with this trait.
So let's just say that whether you're on match.com
or whatever, we're going to give you tips
to help you with this.
So funny enough, okay. This was a study that came out, let's be a guide, mention this.
There was a study that found that for saying it sounds like, yeah, 42% of Tinder users were
already in relationships. Yeah. So, you hear this study. Yeah. Okay, just going to tell you that.
Okay, so, but moving on, that's fine. Let's talk about duty dating,
because that's really where Anna and I started this,
because I was like, she's pushing me to go out more,
and duty dating is the concept that involves
dating people that you are not immediately attracted to.
So, let's say there's the guy across the bar,
and you're like, that's my guy, I'm so into him,
or wherever you see him, guy in the street.
Sometimes it's a guy you just turn and walk away from, because you're like, oh, that's your my type I'm so into him, or wherever you see him, guy on the street. So I'm just a guy you just turn and walk away from,
because you're like, oh, that's your my type,
it hasn't really worked, that's another concept of doing,
but also just date a lot of people that are outside
your normal type, stack them if you need to,
two in a day, which I did for the first time ever,
I can, but we didn't get into the brunch date,
my brunch date, not fun.
That was the only time I feel like I've ever done two in a day,
but why not? Why not, right?
Right, so you date a lot of people outside your type, try, you know, three dates with a person to see if
there's chemistry. It can be just good practice to get yourself out there. Do you agree with this? I do. I will say we have a
friend who is so good at it. Basically, she would go out with somebody not like him and go, there's nothing wrong with him and kind of continue to do it.
I can't. I would sometimes when I've had really just not even bad ones, but just I get
depressed afterwards. So I don't want to, I don't want to, you know, set myself up for that.
Right. How do you, but tell me how you set up most of your dates. Is it a coffee? Is it a,
what do you think you're the best first date when I meet some? I think the best first one is a drink. I know I don't drink, but you know,
that could go into dinner if you're going well. Right. But there's a 45 minute out if you don't.
Can you really get out in 45? I always thought I had to wait till I... I'm looking at the
clock during that terrible brunch date last week that your friend went out with... Okay, no,
nothing. Your friend went out on the night before. Yeah. And you now that night before yeah, and you're like oh she hate it.
She didn't like me there. I'm like why didn't you tell me I could have gotten that time back but whatever.
I did tell you. I had messaged him and I was and I got so frustrated with it that I just
ended up. But then I talked over 31 minutes. Yeah, I couldn't tell. Okay, I can't get the
baggy. That was actually two and a half hours. I can't get back. Okay, so let's talk about
the photos then. So I was talking to my guy friend, he said,
for women, because I wanted to give our perspective,
he said when they have too much skin,
that means like guys look at that,
and they're like, that's really sexy,
like I might want to sleep with you,
but I don't want to date.
So like showing too much skin for women,
and he was saying like no selfies,
don't chop off the X, you know?
And if you only put two pictures, it's not enough. And also he was saying
that he's attracted to women who put out pictures of doing something that they're passionate
about. And so the thing is, the pictures are how you, the first pictures you put are important
because how people see you. And I, my thing is like, if you have kids totally fine, don't
make every picture of the kids. Yes, yes, I agree. One picture. Yes, one picture. It does feel like you're trying to use them to
show you're either so into them that that's your main focus. It's okay if it's your
main focus, but it does get weird that you're using them to show like what a
good guy you are. Right. I agree. One, I think that obviously photos where
you can't tell the viewer can't tell which person you are. Yeah, your three friends with
dark hair and same height as you. So I would say a photo with a celebrity is not a good
idea. You know, just like, oh my god, here I am with Kanye West. I don't know what
I'm saying. It's just weird. Right. Um know what you're trying to say. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's just weird.
Right.
I think that I also see ones that are like,
people on red carpet lines, which is,
which is, I don't know, I mean, if you were somebody
who went on a red carpet all the time,
you probably wouldn't need to document that to stranger.
Exactly.
That's showing that like, that's trying to show
some kind of currency, social currency that you have.
Yeah, let it be.
It is. Like, it's a you have. Yeah, let it be.
Like it's a name-dropping.
Yeah, let them, you know, it also, yeah,
it just feels like it's, it's a rarity,
that's what you're bragging about it.
I have a picture of me with Rundi MC on mine,
is that bad?
Cause I was really happy to meet him.
Yeah, take it down.
That's different, that's different.
They feel like somebody just, you know, ran up and said,
like, oh my god, Muhammad Ali, I don't even know. Let's take a picture
I don't know. I gotta redo my whole profile. Okay, dogs. What do you think about dogs?
If every picture is a dog? No, that's obviously right. Because then you're like, is a dog gonna live with this dog?
And be in bed with us. Yeah, but you know, it's like what I wouldn't mind that when bother you though, but it is weird and when when it's like
wouldn't mind that. That wouldn't bother you though. But it is weird and when when it's like
dog is mentioned in the in the written part and there's six dog pictures right. Okay. I love you like that. No, I mean it's fine. There's so many more egregious things. For me, you know,
a pretty much automatic out is is somebody like boozing. I agree. Yeah. Every picture and I drink
but every picture is you with a solo red cup.
Yeah.
Are you still in the fraternity?
Yeah, or just giving a big marker.
Or like, there's like, there's something you can check on hinge that says wine lover.
And if it's that, and then there's lots of pictures of somebody like with bottle of wine,
it's just, I find it weird.
Yeah, I do too, and even in, and I drink, and I like a good glass of wine.
But I'm like, if you're drinking in every photo, it's a little aggressive, it just says a lot.
So I think cut back on that.
Yeah.
Selfies, they say selfies, not great,
maybe one selfie, but don't go overboard on selfies.
I don't want to see guys naked.
Like, I don't want to see your chest.
No.
No, no, no, no.
But I think younger people do, in a way, I don't know.
Are we as Madison?
Producer Madison? I know you, a boyfriend, but let's say you didn't. I don't know. I guess Madison. Producer Madison.
I know you were boyfriend, but let's say you didn't.
I mean, from what I've heard, I feel like a lot of girls,
if you have too many pictures of your chest,
it kind of shows that you're a one trick pony
and that's really all you got.
It makes it seem like you're really into yourself.
But to be honest, I feel like girls wouldn't turn away
from a couple shirtless pictures.
It shows that you take care of yourself,
but when you get older, you want someone more serious
and that's where the hook up app thing comes in.
Like if you're younger and you're just looking
for someone to screw around with, then.
You're like let me see his body.
Yeah, like let me see it, but otherwise,
you'd want someone who's like, looks good with clothes on,
I think, personally.
Yeah, I think any shirtless is an automatic out of it.
Oh, okay.
I mean, you want a tank top.
Yeah, I mean, it's not my style, but. but I think guys were tank tops now and it's okay.
Like, I don't know, I know, I know, I know this is going to be offensive for
apps to men. If you're going to the gym, it's fine.
Yeah, you know, I will say something else, like the one we both went out with,
you know, won a very, the biggest award you can win and had a photo of him
winning it. Right. And I said, take that down.
It is the most obnoxious thing ever.
Right. And he also had a he's not a musician,
but himself like playing guitar.
Oh, dude. Every guy plays a guitar on hinge.
Yeah.
What is that?
They're all a bunch of guitar players?
No. What do they?
I mean, is that really?
Come on.
I don't know.
I've never seen any guy in LA play guitar,
walk around with a guitar. But yet they all are playing guitar.
It's almost like on cany.
Yeah.
Like someone said, you can't go on hand
unless you like bar your friends guitar,
but you know what they're doing.
Yeah, it's like the tiger on Tinder.
Do you find that?
But not on Tinder.
What is the tiger on Tinder?
I don't know.
I don't really get it.
People keep saying that no tiger photos,
I don't know what that means.
I think it's that some, a couple people did it.
It's kind of like the painting of his show
with the celebrity, they took a picture of the tiger
and then it kind of became this meme.
Okay, got it.
I didn't know what it was.
But did you notice the friggin guitar?
I guess, of course.
Okay, it's just weird to me.
Like why not drums?
Why not piano?
Yeah, I don't know.
This is weird.
It's not the recorder.
Exactly.
Okay, so ask men says that you have six photos, Max.
And it's interesting.
You should be active in doing something.
Don't post pictures of you doing something
that you don't really like to do.
Like the one time you were reclining,
if you're afraid of heights, like,
is this for men or women or both?
Both.
OK.
Yeah.
Full body, it's important like you've got to show your body. Because you're going to be like, why is she men or women or both? Both. Okay. Yeah. Full body, it's important like you gotta show your body
because you're gonna be like,
why is she just showing your face?
Yeah.
And we're thinking why you just showing your face, right?
Yeah.
How about the guys with the sunglasses?
Yeah.
Every picture has them in sunglasses.
And a hat.
And a hat.
Yeah.
Just try to show you real safe
because don't waste any one's time
and it's not that we're just about pictures
and we're just trying to help you here.
Yeah.
Because it's marketing.
Yeah.
It really is.
It's marketing. It is true. Okay. So the most
popular profile picks is according to an e-harmony study where they live in a landscape
three by four pictures. They show at least upper body with some type of background.
It shows most people show the left side of their faces because supposedly we show more
motion with the left side of our faces. You know? Most men preferred pictures of women displaying happiness.
Mm-hmm.
Women want men who displayed pride.
Wow, I don't know what that means.
It's so easy.
It's a very sad story.
I don't know.
Okay, profile.
What to say in your profile?
If people are even reading profiles these days,
of course, you gotta like skip the generic,
like I like long walks on the beach hiking,
and hiking, and running, and outdoorsy.
Like you don't wanna overdo it either.
No.
Cause what if you don't hike, and you're not outdoorsy,
and then you'd be like, no, like,
so you wanna make it diverse,
but you just also just wanna see
the end of the Get's Heavals attention.
So what would you recommend?
You're a writer too.
Yeah.
And it's gonna a bunch of awesome books.
BTW.
Thank you.
I do not enjoy people who are super earnest. I think it's, you know, show your,
this is your, like, chance to show your personality. So anybody who's super genuine about what they
like is not that interesting to me. If it's sort of like a bio, you know, that has just like a
liveliness or a sense of humor is so much more appealing to me You know when it's just like I'm I'm looking for genuine caring compassionate. Who isn't? Yeah
When they say that. Yeah, you think don't say that then. I think don't say that. Right. I'm looking for like
Yeah, like a genuine caring loving person who wants to see you know wants to share the life together
You're like or just even about themselves, you know
I'm a hardworking, driven, passionate individual.
So, okay, it's funny.
I don't know.
Madison was doing this prep here,
but it says, doesn't hard to start your profile
with the catchy line as long as it isn't too cheesy.
Yeah.
When I'm not flying space shuttles for charity,
I like to set my time playing guitar
with Eddie Van Halen and writing novellas,
just kidding, Eddie and I no longer speak, don't ask.
That's great.
Right? I love that one. Yeah, so it's like longer speak don't ask. That's great. Right?
I love that one.
Yeah, so it's like make be funny.
Like we know that you're probably, you know, we can see your pictures maybe what you do,
but get her in.
Right.
And it really is about writing.
I have so many guy friends who are just great writers and great textors and they get way
more play on these sites.
And women too, although I don't write anything on mine really.
You don't?
No.
Look to yours. I need to. Oh. You're going to tear it apart because I
did like three of the mistakes that you just mentioned.
Run, DMC.
These are the free.
I'm not even vague as to if they pull your pictures,
and you've got to show me that I'm here at them.
OK, these are the phrases not to use your dating program.
They were just study.
They came out recently and said, under any circumstances,
these lead to failure.
Can you guess what any of them are?
None of the ones we've said so far.
Nope.
Give me a hint.
Oh, maybe you did say that.
I don't know if you did.
I can't believe I'm online dating.
I don't know.
I never see that.
I feel like I can't believe I'm doing this.
I can't believe it now.
Right, right, right.
I'm tired of the games.
Yeah.
I'm looking for the one.
Yeah.
Well, that's that.
We sort of covered. Right. I live life to the fullest. Oh, yeah. I work hard. I'm looking for the one. Yeah. Well, that's, that, we sort of covered.
Right.
I live life to the fullest.
Oh, yeah.
I work hard, I play hard, I want the total package.
Well, I mean...
I'm over the bar scene, too.
Oh, yeah.
I don't mind that.
I don't mind that.
I do think all the other ones, it's just clichés.
I have clichés.
It's clichés, you know, is what I excise in every piece I edit, too, you know.
Right?
So then how, what if someone's not a great writer? Yeah, that's okay. But how do we, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but in every piece I edit too, you know. Right. So then what if someone's not a great writer?
Yeah, that's okay.
But that's, do they have their friends?
Maybe they, I think advice to you if you're dating online.
And again, it doesn't have to be either one of these apps.
It could even just be you met someone and you're texting them.
Because truly, this is really about,
if I meet some guy and I give him my phone number
and he texts me, hey, how's your day?
You're the last text and we need to get back to
whether it's on my phone or on my,
freaking in the hinged 56 messages.
Like, do stand out.
Like, in some way, but I'm not telling you
to jump through hoops, but don't.
Well, you know, I've thought about this
because, you know, if you're dealing with a writer,
it's not really fair.
Nobody asks me to solve a math equation
when I sign up for these things.
Like, there are things that I'm terrible at that would that are not on immediate display.
So it's not entirely fair. And I just did have this slash as we were talking like this
sounds so awful. Everything we're saying. And it sounds like so embittered. And the truth
is this is just based on our experiences. Right. And, you know, I just...
And studies here.
I'm not just talking about ice.
Yeah.
But we could sound bitchy to you.
You're like, for you guys, you say hi to me.
I know guys could be angry right now listening.
They could be throwing something.
I said hi, and I married this woman,
because I just said hi to her.
Yeah.
And I'm not saying it doesn't work.
I'm just saying if you want to,
there's a lot of you who are also frustrated,
and they want more success.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely. I just don't want people to think, you know, oh my God, I've just been doing
it all wrong. Because I haven't done it. You just told me three. I have to change all my pictures now.
So I'm not perfect either, but all I'm saying is there are, that it sort of is like marketing yourself
in the best way possible. Yeah. Not in like a marketing cheesy, but just put your best, we don't often
know. Yeah. Like we can't have a, so have a good friend. A good guy friend, a good girlfriend.
Take a look at it.
If you really are looking for someone,
you're taking this seriously.
Another thing is when they compliment your physical parents,
I think this goes both ways.
The guys like, nice pics, you're like,
well, I know, that's why you liked me.
Like, we matched.
Yeah, I think there's a way to do it
that's really charming.
Like how?
Well, nice pics is just very generic. So if it's, it's hard because
how do you do this in a way that's not cliché, but just like, you know, something specific about your
eyes that isn't cheesy, you know, something that shows that it's actually something about you and not
just a mask. And if they looked at your pictures
and they pulled something from me.
Yeah, but not to do it, only to do it
if you actually feel that not to just generically complement.
And to do it, I mean, it shows a certain level of confidence,
I think, you know, and sort of self awareness.
For them to look at the picture and to like,
and to be bold enough to say, you know,
to not be gameplay and just to say, I like this.
Right, right.
But I do think also kind of the number one thing
is take something from the photos or what's written
and ask a question sort of related to that
or make a comment related to that.
Right, exactly.
Like, that's totally true, because I,
oh, another thing I should probably take down, right?
Picture me in, I don't have many,
like me on the mic.
That's, no, that's fun.
But then that's like a giveaway, all right.
But they're like, oh, that's funny.
You work with, you work in front of the mic.
I work behind the mic, or I do something.
How many people have known who you were?
Well, it's happened a few times.
It was, you get their last name.
Well, the problem is it has sex with Emily in the back of my Facebook profile.
Right.
So that gets pulled into hinge.
So I got a change with the back photo.
Right.
And then one guy said, oh, I'm a fan of your show.
Right.
The guy who came to a party with a date.
Yeah.
Who I never met.
Um, which, that's happened a few times.
Yeah.
And that is a little weird because I'm like, do I want to date someone?
But then you said he was a really nice guy because I would have written off.
Yeah, I shocking to me that he would write something like that.
Maybe I don't even believe that he what? Yeah, he went to Harvard.
I'm like, you're listening to my whatever. Not that I'm not smart.
A high Harvard alumni that are all listening.
That's not at all what I'm saying. But we're really smart.
Wait, but what? What? Uh, by the way, just to clarify, it wasn't that he would
listen to your show, but that he would write. I'm a fan of it, that was why.
Right.
That was totally just my own life.
You had an Instagram moment.
I just had to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to
get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to
get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get
it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get
it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it
to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it
to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to
get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to get it to about saying, I don't remember, nice pics or nice,
I don't know, it was after that.
Oh, did anyone date me?
Who knows me?
Or, yeah, I once did have someone
that I thought this was really funny.
That said, why are you using Anna David's pics?
Oh my god, that's funny.
Yeah, I agree.
Yeah, I agree.
That is funny.
Yeah.
Did you date him?
No.
Oh, but he made it right.
Yeah, I thought it was funny.
That is funny. Okay, because him? No. Oh, but he made it right. Yeah, I thought it was funny. That is funny.
OK, because with the winged joke,
the humble research shows guys seem somewhat vulnerable,
awkward, or more appealing.
The guy that's even vulnerable, awkward,
maybe because they're less threatening
and seems to seem less like players.
OK, I'm wondering about messaging.
We come back.
I can take a quick break here, but also first message,
first messaging, and then first dates. And then we're going to answer some emails from the peeps. So I will be right
back. And I want to talk to you about, fleshlight is the, and I do you know, our fleshlight is not only do I
know, but I saw your video on Instagram yesterday, which was amazing. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I have
you done that before, Cuddled with my
flashlight. But done it in that like no words but they're a lot revealed. Check out
my Instagram ad section that I know we just were having so much more fun in the
office these days. That was in the office and not in bed. Well don't tell our
secrets. I wasn't really in bed. It looked like it. Well so I was cobbling with
the flashlight in my in my Instagram video.
So fleshlight is a male masturbation sleeve, okay?
So a lot of men, they use their hand.
That's the only way they're going to get off they think and they're masturbating.
We've got hundreds of toys we can use, or I literally do.
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Anyway, fleshlight though is the number one sex toy for men because it actually looks and
feels like the real deal, like they're actually having sex, but it feels like better than some, it's not that it's
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They're going to feel something different that they feel with their hand and different
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Okay.
So we are here. I just, okay, Anna. Yeah.
I'm gonna say about the messages. Like, what do you think about, do you have a message
you got first? Um, no. Yeah. I don't think so. I don't think, I'm sure it's happened, but,
but I think rarely.
Okay, you wait for them.
Because some people say like, guys,
I've been pulling, like talking to my guy friends,
like they love it when women write them
because it takes the pressure off.
Interesting.
And they say that like there's so many, you know,
you know, women who won't do that,
that they actually appreciate it.
They're like, oh, cause you know,
whatever, they're nervous
or maybe they're intimidated by the fact that you match, who knows, maybe they Google Jew. So it might be a good thing to do.
I don't think that I think those rules of like men, but I actually don't that often make the first message, but you know,
I think you can't. I feel like it just sort of suggests that the person is an interested and just randomly
checked on you. Yeah, so that's why I think I right because we don't want to be rejected. What if you messaging me doesn't message you back what you match. Here's another thing though that so messaging
I would just say um for women if you're messaging the guy don't say to him either you look so great.
I love to close you look I mean do again you got to be creative you got to just do something
stays of a different that paid attention that shows that you paid attention but some mistakes I think
that people do just overall which drives me insane with I don't care if you met someone online,
I don't care if you met at a lunch spot.
When you message and message and you text,
you text for weeks and weeks,
and no one, you don't make a plan.
And then in your mind, you're like,
we're getting really close, but you've never met them.
And you're saying it's like a relationship
that hasn't even happened, and it's prematurely in the escalation
or like having phone sex and they've never met.
Or texting. Yeah, I find that really hard to take just because
I feel like we all have enough texts and emails to return.
So, you know, and I did want to have like a 5-hour
rear messaging on Tinder and I said,
look, do you want to meet or not?
And he unmatched us.
Shut up, really?
So he just wanted to, like, great.
I don't have time, like, I don't know.
Right, so if you like someone,
I say go back and forth a few times
and then ask him for a date.
That's what it's all about, meeting a person.
And I don't like all this extending sit forever, right?
No, I don't want that at all.
Okay, so any other final, I've got, like, just be in the first date.
It's okay if it's short, like a coffee or drink.
I have no idea that people go back and forth,
like you can't really tell if you're sitting at Starbucks,
but I think you can.
I think you can.
I knew a girl in New York who'd said,
and I don't know if this is true,
that she would sit down five minutes in, go,
you know what, this is just not happening.
And leave after five minutes.
I remember that story too.
I've heard guys do that.
I'm not, I'm such an,
I like give people the benefit of the doubt.
I think maybe I could probably tell in, hmm, 15.
Yeah.
But, but you know, then I always think, well maybe something else here,
but an hour, an hour, I think you can tell, and you can be out.
So, yeah, and then my weird brunch date last week, sweet guy,
I hope you never listen, but he said,
hit the weirdest moment, which I never explained to you why,
because it wasn't that he was a bad person. He was a kind person.
He was a sweet person.
He was wearing shorts.
That's fine.
We're sit down.
And we're there for a minute.
And he says, has so if you bit on this hinged thing,
I'm like, no, you're actually my first hinged state.
And he grabbed my hand.
And this really like uncomfortable,
like held it for way too long.
And just look into my eyes.
Like he thought it was so sweet.
So I think, and I'm like, I'm holding my hand.
I haven't got my coffee yet.
We're like brunch. Right. I haven't got my coffee yet.
We're like brunch.
Right, right.
Okay, so yeah, coffee's cool.
And anything else you want to say about your day?
Because I've never done like, okay,
keep it or anything else, but.
Yeah, I have and they're super depressing.
I don't know why those are so much worse messaging
and pictures and all that stuff.
Then the apps, I guess it's, guess it's a bit of a screening process
with the apps because your friends are friends with them.
But you know, I have never, you know,
when I lived in New York, I did meet someone
that I really liked and we dated for a while,
but it turned out that we knew people in Chrome.
So that's always that I was like,
I find those sites really depressing.
Well, you guys guys I'm just saying
And if you decide not to date online just
Be present when you're out in the world because it's not like you have to go to a bar
Or you have to go to club or you have to be out at night even to meet somebody
Sometimes you can just meet people like when you're walking from around where you live
But you know even in a life you're walking from your car to your meeting
Everyone's on their cell phone or you're standing in line, I always see a standing line for
coffee.
Don't be on your cell phone of those types.
If you're a single person, you're like, I can't meet anybody and you take the same
room from work every day, you do everything the same.
You could try doing something else, you could try taking class or doing something you're
interested in, but if you don't have time for any of that, then just put your phone down
and pay attention when you're waiting in line for something or just pay attention when
you're walking around and see who you see. I know that I met at Whole Foods.
Right, exactly. A lot of people meet at Whole Foods, grocery store. So just like pay attention,
there are plenty of people and I do not believe that wherever you live is the worst place to date.
I agree with you. I hate it when people say that. I hate it because you know why? Wherever you go,
there you are. And there are plenty of single people wherever you go. You just gotta pay attention, open your eyes.
And if you still have this approach anxiety
to start talking to people,
you start like practice.
Hi, how's your day?
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
It'll be fine.
And then you get over it, you do.
Yeah, I agree.
Let's get into some emails.
How's that?
Want to help me with some people?
Sure.
Okay everyone, I love hearing from you.
Feedback at sexwithmwe.com.
Thank you for emailing me all your questions. It's awesome. I love it.
I love my last words. I love you. Dear Emily, I'm 24 and I live in L.A. I
haven't had sex since I was 18. It's not that I haven't tried or not tried since
people sometimes think I tried too much but don't worry I've played it cool too.
To me people for the sake of relationships or sex are both.
I miss connecting with the woman so much,
I forget what it feels like to make out with someone.
While I do want a woman to be with,
I want to have sex as well.
I'm in the middle of my 20s, I do not want to miss out
being able to have an open sex life.
I feel bad when I'm in bars or clubs or wherever.
I see a girl I find cute with her friends,
but I feel like I'm being the creepy guy
who's ruining the night with her friends.
I never know how to act,
and I feel like I'm missing the part of the brain
that can do this.
I've tried, okay, cupid and Tinder for over two years,
but it's you, you did nothing.
I once even went to a Craigslist orgy.
It got weird, and I failed to point at the end.
I imagine that.
But most Craigslist things are sketchy or spam.
Do you have any advice for my situation
to lose these hangups and or any good places in LA
that are good to me who are looking
for either a casual thing or a serious thing?
I want to be able to experience both of these
in my lifetime.
I'm gonna loss lonely and don't know what to do.
Please help with you, can Mike.
I love that.
I mean, no, I don't love it, but what a sweet,
vulnerable guy, I don't. What is I mean no I don't love it but what a sweet vulnerable guy. I know. And
what do you think? I think that he has what we were just talking about. He's got this crippling
anxiety, approaching anxiety, a social anxiety about talking to women and he has all these self-defeating
thoughts in his head that he's going to be the creepy guy. They're not going to want to talk to him.
He's going out with and I get it Mike. not going to want to talk to him He's going out with it and I get it Mike
We all have those messages, but we just I think that our for men and for women our life work is to quiet down all that internal noise
And all that's negative messaging that we all tell ourselves like why am I late again?
Why it doesn't matter for anything? We all do it and you've to just catch yourself doing that and replace those messages
Which is a lot easier said than done. But even if you start to notice these things you're telling
yourself, you'll start saying like, okay, that's actually not true. That's what I'm telling
myself and it's not necessarily the truth that these girls don't want to talk to me.
I completely agree. I will end in recovery. That's the first thing you hear is your thoughts
are not real. So, stop reacting to them. And you know, and
that's all the basis of all spiritual work is, is just getting, you know, having
that second where you go, oh, I'm lying to myself. That's myself defeating
mine. It's so weird. I was just leaving my sponsor, my sponsor, this message
driving over here that I have, I have one thing that sets me off. Like I'm not
gonna say what it is, but it's like this one thing that will happen where immediately my brain creates
a scenario and I react to it like it's real.
And I was as I was leaving the message about it happening.
I thought I said, oh my God, you know what's weird?
Is it's gotten better ever so slightly?
It's super complicated, but it is actually something there is
certainly no immediate result.
You don't tell yourself, oh, that's not real
and then suddenly it's a little easier.
It's a process it could take a lifetime,
but the fact that this is such a great example
that you're reacting, you notice that you checked in
with a sponsor or you check in with a friend
or even you're saying, hey, it's not real.
Like you noticed it and you don't do it
and you didn't react or maybe you've reacted for a
second where it would have been maybe three days another time, right? Yeah,
because the truth is you would have reacted for it, it would have bummed you out
and it wasn't even true for three days. But I do find you have to do it and then it
happened that thought comes back and you have to keep doing it. It's a process.
It's a process. But you know, we can change neuropathways in our brain. The brain
is a lot more malleable than they used to think. Right. So it's fully formed, you know, we can change neuropathways in our brain. The brain is a lot more malleable than they used to think.
Right.
So, it's fully formed, you know, by the age of 25, but we can change, through changing our
reactions, we can change how we react in the future.
Absolutely.
So, this is what we're saying for Mike is that he has to work on this, that you have to
work on prex.
So, I always say like dating, these dating skills are kind of like a muscle.
And if you don't use it or you've never used it,
you know, if you don't use it, lose it.
But if you've never used it, you haven't been out there
like just talking to women.
And I'm telling you, I've met plenty of guys who just
come to me and start talking to me that I've actually dated.
It's a way, it's a confidence that you have.
So it's getting rid of all these negative thoughts
and you just start, hey guys, you don't hang out for too long rid of all these negative thoughts. And you just start, you know, hey guys,
you don't hang out for too long.
But if you find some interesting, you just start talking.
And you can also start practicing, like I said,
when you're out in the world to women,
maybe you're not attracted to.
Or did you guys just practice striking up
a conversation in the moment,
where you like observe something going on.
That's it, you're waiting in line for coffee.
And you're like, oh God, is the line here
or is I haven't been here before?
And then you make a comment about something like, I think I'm going to try
their, you know, mogalative. You try it and you ask a question, you observe, you ask
a question and that's a way to start a conversation that doesn't seem creepy. And you can kind of
do that in a scenario like this.
Absolutely. And I, yeah, I think like your analogy, you know, the analogy of the gym, you
don't walk, you don't like wake up and go, I'm going to go run a marathon, you go, I'm
going to try this, I'm going to go on the treadmill, it's going to hurt, you know, the analogy of the gym, you don't walk, you don't wake up and go, I'm gonna go run a marathon, you go, I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna go on the treadmill,
it's gonna hurt, you know?
And I do think understanding, Mike,
that rejection is part of all of our lives,
constantly, so getting that you can't be devastated
when it happens to you.
And you gotta have to keep doing it.
I think that's a great point.
Like, you're not gonna die if someone rejects you,
and you will get rejected, Mike, you will, but you're going to realize again, it sounds so bad that
you'll get over it. It's fine. And the more you practice it and the more you won't, you know,
eventually you won't get rejected or maybe you won't get rejected right away. But the truth is
women and men we all get rejected. Yeah. And we don't die. It makes us stronger. Yeah. It's totally fine.
Yeah. And also stop maybe also going to the bars. Mike,. You might want to, like I said, go to the gym,
do it somewhere else, walk down the street.
But you have a lot to offer women, you're really sensitive,
you've seen really sweet, you've seen like a good guy,
and you really want to do it,
and you are just stopping yourself with these negative thoughts,
because I'm sure you just,
once you get out there and start doing the stuff,
you'll be fine.
Yeah, and I did want to clarify,
when I was talking about rejection,
I didn't mean just solely dating.
Like, you know,
You just rejection in life. Yeah, you know, you just rejection in life.
Yeah, you do. You want something, you don't get it.
You have to, you know, say, you don't even have to treat you the way you want to be treated, whatever.
So, especially in our business, too, right, when you're in there to eat it.
Yeah, you try out for things, you know, oh yeah, and I did want to say I was on, you know,
the dating expert on Attack of the Show for three years.
Attack of the show, right. And, and like, that job just happened, but I have gone in on a million sort of dating
expert jobs and not gotten them.
Exactly.
Right.
But people think like, oh, everything happens.
Yeah.
And this whole business is about reduction, which I did not know the first few times.
I did get rejected from things.
Yeah.
I'm like, they shot a pilot.
So it's happening.
Oh, no, it doesn't necessarily happen.
Yeah.
So it keeps me just stronger. Okay, we've. No, no, it doesn't necessarily happen. It keeps me just stronger.
OK, we've time for one more.
OK.
Hi, Emily.
I'm a 30-year-old, introverted man that
has been single all my life.
I've been told I'm good-looking by female co-workers,
and I stay in shape.
But fail at making women interested in me.
I was wondering from your experience,
if it's possible to spark up an attraction
with someone without flirting
and from just a normal conversation between two adults,
I was never fond of flirting
and I can't help to see if something is childish
that may have been okay to do in high school.
Thanks for any advice, William.
Yeah, he can't flirt, but then he's like making flirting
like it's a thing, a skill that he doesn't have
and I think it's just a natural thing that rolls out of you.
Flirting is talking.
Yeah, it's just talking and being open and playful and smiling.
It's not like you guy go to flirting boot camp.
It's playful, it's light.
And you can have an attraction
to someone without flirting initially.
But I learned to be able to know the light hearted banter.
Yeah, I mean, I think some of us flirt with men,
women, even if we're straight animals, babies, you know,
it's like that flirting is conversation is like you said,
playful conversation.
Right, exactly.
So don't, don't, don't trip.
Yeah.
How are we doing?
All right.
Anna, you're awesome.
So are you.
Yeah, really, thank you.
This was great.
Is there anything else that we need to hear
about dating on my dating?
I'm just telling people, I want to just,
people asking all the time, like, just,
just how do we get out there?
And I just think that there's no more stigma
with dating online.
And there's a lot, there's Matt.
What are your friends doing now?
Okay, keep it.
Yeah, Matt.
I think Matt just,
Ruby Blue actually want to match.
So that's not as...
But again, it's sort of like what you were saying about how Tinder isn't necessarily a hooker.
Like, there are people everywhere trying to do this, trying to connect.
So just find the ones that you like.
Yeah.
And also start practicing when you're out in your day-to-day life, just talking to people.
And don't go, okay, it didn't work this time, it's never gonna work.
Right, exactly.
Just because you get, you just really, like,'s why it's good to have two in a day.
Yeah.
So as we date the same person.
Okay, and so Anna, you are at,
Anna, be David on Twitter.
Yes.
At After Party site on Twitter,
and you've got to check out her awesome podcast
After Party pod.
Yes.
And they find that where iTunes?
iTunes SoundCloud, Stitcher, everywhere.
Everywhere. Everywhere. I love it. Okay, well thank you Anna for being here, and they find that where iTunes. iTunes SoundCloud, Stitcher, everywhere.
Everywhere.
I love it.
Okay, well thank you Anna for being here.
And thank you Madison.
And is there anything else I need to tell you all?
Just that I love you.
And I love you for listening.
And I would love, oh, be so happy if you checked out my website,
sexbeamy.com, sign up for the newsletter, follow me on Instagram, like I said, because
I caught up with a flashlight.
No, we do funny things on there.
It's a good time.
And Twitter and Facebook, it's all sex with Emily across the board.
So thanks everyone for listening.
Was it good for you?
Email me.
Feedback at sexathomay.com.
Hi, it's me, TV's Ross Matthews.
You know, from the tonight show, Chelsea Leigh Lee, E. Red Carpets, blah, blah, blah.
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Okay everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Here's Delio.
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Right, after 40 minutes, true.
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