Sex With Emily - How to Tell If Someone Is Sexually Attracted to You

Episode Date: May 19, 2026

In this live episode of Sex With Emily recorded on April 16, 2026, I answer your biggest questions about sex, attraction, intimacy, libido, dating, communication, and the orgasm gap. In this livestream, we talk about what actually helps women orgasm, why slowing down and communication matter so much in relationships, how medications can impact libido, signs someone is sexually attracted to you, dating in today’s world, oral sex tips, threesome boundaries, and so much more. ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex. CONNECT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It can impact our arousal getting turned on and our ability to orgasm. So when people say they have sexual side effects, those are typically the side effects that you're going to see. This is one of the most common questions I get asked. How do I get my partner to two blank? You're not going to get your partner to do anything with that attitude. You're really not. How can we tell if someone is sexually attracted to us? That is such a great question.

I'm Dr. Emily Morris. How you all doing? So in this 21st year of having a podcast, I decided the best way and most efficient way, I can connect with you all so you could have the sex life, the relationship, the dating life that you actually want. We could just connect here. I don't know, you guys.

Maybe you could vote here. Do you want to talk about the orgasm gap? Would you like to talk about rules for a sex toy? Or do you want to talk about porn? Okay, first one who answers, that's what we're going to do. I know we're a little delayed, though, so it takes a second. I can't. I don't know why.

I think it's delayed. So anyway, I'm going to do what I want to do. It's just odd. Okay, did anyone say? We're having fun here. All right, so how do women get out of the orgasm gap? Okay, so first let me explain what the orgasm gap. is. The orgasm gap is a little bit like the wage gap. Women have fewer orgasms. We also get paid less.

So, you know, women do not orgasm at the same rate frequency or same time, same amount of time as men. This happens that way. Men can take anywhere between, you know, eight to ten minutes to orgasm and women can take between 20 and 40 minutes. That is the gap. The gap is also that men are, you know, orgasm just all the time more easily. And women, not only during penetrative sex, do we only orgasm 20% of the time, but we often don't have enough time to actually make that happen. The second point is that traditionally for women to orgasm, get this, it has nothing to do with your penis, no matter how wonderful your penis is, how beautiful it is, how beautiful it is, how active it is, how erect it is.

We're still not going to orgasm that way. So finger, mouth, toys. So how do we get out of the orgasm gap? Well, the number one way that women are going to orgasm is through clitoral stimulation. That is our requirement. So we do not orgasm from penetration alone. We require clitoral stimulation. So we massage your thighs.

We play around with the vulva. Where is my vulva puppet? Not that one, but the other one. Oh, it's right in front of me. I love this studio that I'm in. So, this is the clitoris. Okay, this is the clitoris bud. This is the butt of the clitoris. This is where the clitoris has legs. So this is actually the entire clitoral structure. Okay. So this is a little nub of the clitoris. These are the legs of the clitoris. And this goes right behind, right? This is the vagina, the clitoris, the clitoral hood. So when I'm saying about closing the orgasm gap, you just want to like, you want to like massage, this is the labia. So you want to massage, you want to massage all around. You want to like tease.

You want to start to build blood flow and arousal, which is really the key is sending blood flow to all of these areas. So prioritize clitoral stimulation, either with touch, with your mouth, with a toy is a great way to do it. That is the first thing. Then you want to make sure that she's, you know what to go right for the clitoris. because that could actually be painful if you are, you know, with somebody. And I know here's the difference I understand. The main difference between men and women is that a lot of times you're aroused and you want to go right in. You're like, here's my penis.

I'm going to go right inside. And we're like, we are not even aroused and turned on it. So prioritize clitoral stimulation. The second thing is start with communication, you guys. Communication is a lubrication. So ask for what you want. Let your partner know in real time how you like to be. touched. This is why masturbation isn't just a light suggestion. It's actually a priority. It's important.

That's self-love, self-touch is how you're going to get to understand your own body. So communicate. You know, I'm not really ready for penetration yet. I would really love some more touch, some more kissing. I'd love you to add loo. I'd love to use my toy that I have. My toy is an amazing way to make me orgasm. So you just got to communicate about it. And let me remind you this. Don't you find it interesting that we talk about everything with our partners. We talk about what movies we want to see, where we want to go to dinner, what what kind of music we like,

what we want to do on the weekends, what our ideal vacation is. And if we're in a relationship, we talk about how we're going to raise the children. Do we want to live in the city or country? But when it comes to sex, most of us do not talk about it. We say completely mute.

So the second tip is communication. Even if you say, you know, I'm not exactly sure, what I need right now to orgasm, but I know slower touch, or I know using, you know, fingers, or I know all these things. And the next thing is, we want to slow down. If you ask me for my top top sex tip, recently the New York Times did a piece about asking experts for their top sexual wellness tip, and I was like, go five times slower. Sex rushes so quickly sometimes that we are just sort of, we don't, we're not giving our body parts, our orgasms, we're not giving our, our

our nervous system, time to catch up with what's actually happening. So we want to go slow. We want more foreplay. We want more buildup. We want less goal-oriented sex. What I mean by goal-oriented sex is sex that is all about penetration and orgasm. Although we all talk about the orgasm gap, the orgasm isn't the goal. The goal is connection.

The goal is I'll repeat now. It's clitoral stimulation, communication, slowing down. okay so that's how we close the orgasm gap guys any question about that someone said what a nice little pillow this is a nice little pillow isn't it this pillow has gotten a lot of play i love my little my little pillow so if you're any more questions about the pillow or about the vulva the vagina i'm here for it i'm here for all the questions so that's how we close the orgasm gap it's not a mystery it's not it's not you know we just were never taught no one ever taught us any of these things i don't really know what we learned in school that was that helpful.

Would have been so nice to learn how to, you know, balance our bank account, how to save money, you know, how to cook. I never learned that. How to have, you know, nonviolent communication, how to communicate in an argument. How to close the orgasm gap. That's the other thing we should learn. But I don't know about you, but I didn't have any sex education. And then I found myself as a full on adult having sex and not knowing any of these lessons.

And in fact, my first years having sex were highly. performative. Meaning, my sex was all about my partner's pleasure. It was all about if he had a good time and he was having an orgasm and he was, that's when sex was over. Sex is over when he comes. That is not the kind of sex you want to have. And I don't think it was the men's fault or the men, they didn't know any different either, right? So this is your sex education. That's why we're all here right now. Okay, we're all here for real sex education in real time. Okay, let's go to a question. Okay, let's see. What is the best clitorious toy to buy for my wife? Okay, asking me for my favorite toy is like asking me to choose my favorite child. It is not an easy thing to do,

but I can tell you that you want to look for external stimulation. And a lot of times these clitoral toys are just like they fit in the palm of your hand. A lot of people think toys look like a penis or they're really like large and intimidating. But they, you know, sometimes they look like a little pebble. a little like a stone, like a stone you'd use to like skip water. That's what the Mimi looks like, and that's what I'm going to recommend. But back up for a minute. What is the best type for your wife? For your wife, I would ask her, what does she like?

Does she like intensity? Does she like pressure? Does she like strong vibration? Softer vibration. Look for, consider brands like Womenizer, Laylo, Jeju, We Vibe. Those are all toys that I highly recommend. You can also shop at shop. with Emily.com to find the best toy.

The one that I've been talking about for 20 years is the Jeju Mimi. I still stand by that one. I don't know that I have it here, but I can show it to you at some point. I don't know if I have it here, but that's fine. You can just go to my website because I might need a tissue. Oh yeah, if you can find it. Hang out. We're going to do a little thing.

I mean, it's somewhere in like, it could be in that little bucket right here under the table. Do you guys want to go on a tour of my office one day? I can show you everything. Thank you. I will show you all the toys that we have in the eyes. in the office. Okay. So I love the Mimi.

I love any of the clitoris toys. I also love the suction toys, the toys that are like use indirect stimulation to stimulate the clitoris. But you can't really go wrong with the clitoris toys on my site, shop sex with Emily. So I highly recommend that. So someone else said, I've always been slow to my own orgasm.

I've never been in a rush to get to it. I found the experience better than just the climax. I love that. What is our rush? I think the rush to orgasm is often because we were, especially if you're a man. That's a man, Daniel, who said that, which I love. But a lot of guys feel that if I have an erection, I got to keep going. If I slow down, I'm going to lose the erection. I'm going to lose the moment. What if I can't get the erection back up again? And then it becomes a whole thing. And we feel shame around it, so we keep going. But even just knowing that we need you to slow down is so, so, so important. So, yeah, clitorist toy, we covered that. Okay, so then we've got how do you stay? Richard asked, how do you stay mindful and slow down

when you've been fast and busy all day? I'm obsessed with this question. You can't go from zero to penetrative sex. If you have been having a day, like we all have, even I was rushing here, I was just a guest on a podcast. I was driving like an hour to get back. home to get to you. I, we need to slow down. We need to breathe for a moment. We need to, you got to switch. You can't just turn on for sex in a snap like that. Now, I know that for a lot of people they can. They're in a relationship for a while. They see their partner and they say, oh my God, I'm so excited to see you. Let's get at it. And usually that happens early on in the relationship when we still have all those feel good hormones and it's just new. Like that's

that what happens is the new relationship of energy. But when we've been with someone for a while, I love the idea of taking a few deep breaths together saying, can we just ground together? Let's just sit here and breathe. And then you can do 30 minutes of just staring into each other's eyes and just connecting, saying, okay, we're letting go of the day. We are here together in this moment. And you don't have to be in the bedroom. You don't have to be naked in the bedroom, but taking a moment to ground with your partner, I'm going to go on a link. I'm going to say something here that I believe if couples took a moment to ground with each other, to be present, to take a few breaths, look into each other's eyes before they actually do anything, before they go on a date,

before they have a conversation, before they, you know, go to dinner, anything. But especially before sex, you would completely be able to, you would realize that you now are both on the same page. You breathe, you look into each other's eyes, and then you see what comes from there. So then it's less forced. It's less performative. Now I kiss you and then you kiss me and then your clothes off. My clothes come up and it gets so boring after a while when we're doing the same things. And it gets boring. It gets boring and we get like we get sort of, I don't know. We're just like, I know how this movie ends. I don't really want to keep having sex. But if you start with a grounding, connective movement practice like that, you would see that you are building your arousal

and your connection with your partner from that present moment. Where are we both today? What kind of sex? What kind of touch do? What kind of intimacy are we craving? You know, maybe you're just craving a massage, right? Maybe you're like, I still haven't come down from the day yet. Babe, could you just give me like a 10-minute massage on my shoulders? Maybe massage my feet. I'll do the same for you. But massage has this magical way of allowing us to release stress and get back into the moment. So that, is a great question. I mean, it's so important for us to to really, to really like find ways to to ground. Remember that sex is wellness. And so everything else, if we are stressed, if we are anxious and we have a really busy hectic life, it's so hard to switch into sex mode. Right?

It can be. You ever have that experience where you're like, and I used to be that girl. I remember I used to be working all day, working all day, and I was so busy that I would change in my car and put on my cute date night clothes and put my lipstick on in the mirror and then I'd show up my boyfriend's house. And I was so like, hi, and trying to be like sexy Emily, but I still hadn't released the day. So then I made a rule with myself. I'm not switching from, I'm not going blending work into play, work into romance. I'm going to go home. I'm going to shower. I'm I'm going to exercise. I'm going to go for a walk. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to do something that resets the moment so I can fully show up for someone present. Again, we don't learn this. We don't

learn that we need to like shift, you know, we need to shift the energy on and off. And the more we learn that we do need to change our, from our settings, we need to learn to, you know, move into a new state almost all the time. Even in the morning when you're starting work, right? Maybe you've been in traffic and you get to work and you're like, oh, I'm so stressed. Just taking 10 deep breaths in the car before you walk in the office is a game changer. So you can imagine what that might do for your sex life. Okay, we have some more questions here. This one's a little bit meteor. This came from our Shopify, um, one of our Shopify friends. So I've been with my boyfriend for four years. We've a great relationship. Last year we started doing M4M three ways, male female male three ways. It wasn't even a

risk. It felt right. We did it and even better after we tried. The boundaries that my boyfriend have in a three way is that we only do anal and oral with the other person. I only do vaginal with my boyfriend. My boundary is the only MFM rule and my boyfriend's boundary is the only anal and oral rule. I have no issues. It works perfectly. I'm just curious why my boyfriend doesn't mind me doing oral and anal and three way with other guys but feels uncomfortable. The vagina, do you have ideas? I ask my boyfriend, but he doesn't have an answer. He says it just feels perfect like this. I don't mind at all. please don't misunderstand my question to meet I'm upset about this. I'm just honestly really curious and we're both fans of Emily.

I love it. I'm a fan of yours too. This was a great question. And honestly, a very common dynamic. You can keep it like, this is how you have the conversation with them. First of all, vaginal sex equals primary partner energy, right? For a lot of people, penetration feels much more, you know, much more emotionally loaded because it is tied to your intimacy, your bonding, your connection. So he's like, this is ours. Like, I just

want to keep this between the two of us, which makes sense. Because otherwise, why are all these people here and how am I special to you? How do I feel like I'm still, you know, your primary partner? And maybe oral sex just feels like more play to him. Yeah, you can have oral with someone else, but for me, you know, we just need to have this one act as sacred. And I can see why it's playful and it's also less, less threatening and it's more of a shared adventure versus a competition. Yeah, someone else can perform more on you, but I don't feel threatened that bad. And also, cultural conditioning. Cultural conditioning has taught us that vaginal penetration is the main event. That's everything. That's why we have sucks, right, for vaginal penetration.

But I'm here to tell you that, well, I understand why society focuses on that, but I would love to recommend that you take a moment and you consider maybe vaginal penetration isn't not not in this particular case but just in general that centering sex on penetration when we talked earlier about the orgasm gap isn't necessarily the best thing for most for many women because of all the other things that make us feel good beyond penetration so that is cultural conditioning and going back to my question here to my question from my from my audience here um you know that can trigger comparison or jealousy if you are engaging in you know some kind of vaginal sex it's protecting his sense of uniqueness you know it just one act between the two of you can make him feel like special and chosen

and there's less comparison anxiety like what if you had sex with somebody else and it made it you know and you liked it better, you know, since this is our main event and you did it with someone else, you know, he's setting himself up for some kind of worry or competition. And then finally, it's a form of boundary setting. I don't think he's controlling you, but he's saying, I require a boundary. So that's really what it is. There is no logical, you know, rulebook for anybody. So what matters is if this threesome situation with your boyfriend feels good and safe and consensual, then keep going with it. You know, a lot of couples think boundaries means restriction,

but what boundaries really mean is I'm allowing you to expand safely in this situation. So if you're both happy and curious and communicating, then I'd say you're doing it right. Thanks for your question. Then when else has a question here, you are free. Readask. Okay. Have you ever been trying to fully enjoy the moment, but then your brain interrupts with the least sexy thought? Wait, what about the mess? And suddenly, you're running through a mental checklist of how you're going to clean the sheets afterward. And just like that, you're

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It looks good as it feels too. I love the color it comes in. One side is a nice coffee color and the other size is really pretty cream. Plus you can get in two sizes, large and small. And right now you can get 15% off. your order with my code sex with Emily at checkout on commonconfidential.com. That's sex with Emily for 15% off at common confidential.com. We'll get right back into the episode after I tell you about a sponsor I'm really excited about, Biologica. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like I've had a

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So head to biologica.com slash sex with Emily to get started. Take their quick hormonal life stage quiz to find the formula that's right for you. And right now, subscribers can receive up to 32% off their purchase. Again, make sure you go to biologica.com slash sex with Emily. That's B-I-O-L-G-I-C-A dot com slash sex with Emily. with Emily and get up to 32% off your first subscription order today. Let's see. My partner has a lot, has a penis, and sensitivity issues. I've never been able to make someone with a penis come from a blowjob besides him. Are there any gels or anything

that would help him feel more sensitive during oral sex and intercourse? So this is pretty common, and a lot of people think people, a lot of people with penises have either too much sensitivity or not enough, Both are completely normal and common. Think about it. Every penis is different. It's like snowflakes. Every vagina is different. It's also like a snowflake.

There are no two snowflakes that are the same, and the same goes for what you require in the bedroom. So if he's having trouble finishing from oral, it is not a you issue. It is about his body's pattern, his arousal style, his stimulation patterns. He might be used to a specific kind of stimulation, so maybe he always holds himself in a certain way

when he's pleasing himself. Maybe he always holds his, you know, he knows exactly what to do to get himself there, right? He has years of practice. You know, he has the pressure and the speed and the grip. And, you know, for masturbation, that just doesn't match oral sex. And people, like, also his mental arousal might matter. If he's in his head, he's distracted, he's performance base, he's thinking about what comes next, that could also dull his sensation. Is he a on, is he wearing a condom? Probably not during oral sex, but is he on meds? Is he drinking? Is he particularly stressed? Because all of those things can also lower sensitivity and delay his orgasm. So if you want more sensitivity, I would try like an arousal gel, something that might have some CBD or THC in it. There's some tingling or arousal sensation, some that are cooling or arousal sensations, some that are cooling or warming, those might help with sensitivity. You could also put some lube on it and then that blow on his penis. You could use some heat, you could use like a massage candle that's like really warm and it's made with this warm oil. So it's actually a massage

candle. Don't do this with a regular candle, but it's not real wax. Again, don't try this at home, but it's a candle that actually turns into massage oil. So I love the idea of letting the massage candle burn for a little bit. You blow it out and then the oil pools and you can put some of that warmth when you touch his penis and see if that does something to it. So that might help him. But I think a lot of times, so try some of those things. So, you know, I feel that, yeah, that you, there's no special gels. There's no special things. Also, ask him, have you has ever practiced mutual masturbation. So this is key. When you're lying side by side, you can both masturbate self-pleasure. And when you're doing that, it can be really hot to see your partner

turn themselves on. You know that you're both going to get off. And the third point of that is that you can actually see what he does. How does he touch himself when he's stimulating himself? What do his hands do? Where does his mouth go? What, not his mouth, sorry? Where does his hands go? How does he move? You know, I know that sometimes, you know, I remember doing this with partner once, and I noticed this hand went up and over the tip, or he grabbed his balls, or he held his hand at the shaft, right? So these are all the ways that you can learn his patterns and what he does so you can mimic them. Because it might be harder for him to be like, I actually don't know what I do in the moment and ask him. So that's what I recommend for you. Any other questions coming in?

Oops, it just went away. Let's see. I'm following on YouTube here, but it went away. So yeah, anyone else have that? Any like penis sensitivity issues or anything that has happened before in that area? Happy to address that. Okay, here's one. Here's another one. That's a very touchy subject. Ready? How do I convince my wife for sex for sex for anal and oral? How do I get my partner to blank? Do you know this is one of the most common questions I get my partner to blank? You're not going to get your partner to do anything with that attitude. You're really not. Not to bash you here, but when we are trying to get something from our partner, especially when it comes to sex, it's going to feel like pressure to them. It's going to feel like you're trying to get

something from them. The best way to do it is to stay curious. And what does she actually want? What kind of touch, what kind of sex, what kind of connection feels good to her. So leading with curiosity and a conversation about what does feel good to you? What does turn you on? What are the most memorable times the two of us have had sex together? And that's going to give you so much information about your sex life and about what turned your wife on. So you want to focus on building trust and safety and pleasure first. So communicating with her outside the bedroom, maybe you're on date night or going for a walk and just say, I'd love to talk about our sex life. I'd love us both to be great lovers to each other and figure out what we can do to really,

really please each other. Now, if there's some objections from her and she's like, I never want to do oral or I don't want to do anal, that's also where you can get curious and also have compassion. Say, tell me more about that. What is it about oral sex that isn't comfortable for you? Like I would just love to know more. I'm curious. Did you have an experience? It didn't really work for you once. Is there something else that you'd like besides that?

And then just find out. You know, a lot of times we don't want to do something sexually because we had a really bad experience with it. Because someone shamed it for us. Maybe she was performing oral at some point and someone said she wasn't very good at it. Maybe someone said like, oh, I don't think you should, you know, who knows? Or maybe she just had someone force her into it and she didn't like that kind of aggression. And so usually there's a whole history, a whole pattern behind it that we don't even

know about it. So getting curious and having her ask the question is so important. Yeah. Any other questions here live on YouTube? I'll just keep going. So a lot of threesome questions, but we already had one. So let's see what else. What is the right time to have sex when dating and seeking a serious relationship. Right time. There is no right time. Okay. I am not the person that's going to tell you you should do two dates or three dates or wait

until you're three months committed. I don't believe in any of that. These rules are simply that. The rules that we, who's like the sex police that's going to come tell you that you did not follow this particular rule that you violated? No, you get to be your own sex police. You get to decide how much time. feels good to you. There's no universal time. It's about your own emotional readiness. So the question

to ask yourself is, do I feel safe with this person? Do I feel respected? Do I feel aligned? Am I attracted to this person? We don't want to use sex to secure the relationship. We don't want the sex to be the thing that we feel pressured into or once I have sex with them it's going to mean something. So, you know, if I have sex with this person, they're going to like me more. Or if I have sex with this person it's going to secure or they're not going to like me if I don't do it. We don't want to be pressured into having sex. So I do believe that it's better to wait if you can. Like, of course, there are so many people who had sex on the first date and they are living happily ever after and their life is wonderful. Of course that works for a lot of people. But it doesn't

work for everybody. And in fact, if you're dating somebody and you're on your first date, or a third date, it feels really good, why not just do other things, not move right into the sex? Why don't get to know each other? You could think, you could, you know, make out, you could have oral sex, you could do other things. But sometimes when we have penetrative sex, we tend to put a lot of meaning around it. And that meaning can make us feel more vulnerable, more attached. I also believe that's cultural and societal conditioning.

I think we can learn to have sex just for our own pleasure that isn't all about becoming attached, but a lot of us are not there. So I'm, you know, I think that if you're seeking a serious relationship, going back to the question, if you're seeking a serious relationship with somebody, that means that you're also taking this seriously. And you are looking for somebody that you want to build a leg with. And so I just think we put sex before knowing the person, again, knowing if we feel safe and aligned, it can sometimes get messier that way because the sex can better naturally make us feel more connected than we are or more attached than we actually are without knowing this person. So I think slow it down. There's no rush to have sex. Get to know this

person. You can have that hot makeout sessions. You can do a lot of different things. But, you know, what is the, if this is, you're meant to be your person and you're going to be in a relationship, what's the rush? So that's my official stance on that. Any questions around that? Someone said, hey people in chat, do you see my questions and think they're worthy of Emily to address? I don't know if I see your questions. Let's see what this person's asking. I mean, how can we tell someone is sexually attracted to us initially? That's a great question. How can we tell if somebody, I don't know where that, how can we tell if someone is sexually attracted to us? That is such a great question. Sometimes we know, that I was asking from a guy too, right? 90% of what we communicate

is in our bodies anyway, whether we're in the bedroom or the boardroom or at a bar when you're meeting somebody, you're not sure if there's an attraction. Maybe they're complimenting you in a specific way. Like, I love your eyes. I really like that shirt you're wearing. I really like your vibe, right? So compliments can go a long way. This advice is also great if you want it to be known that you're into somebody. You don't want to fall into the friend zone. Give them a compliment. Give everyone compliments. We do not compliment people enough. Complementing people is a skill set. I think some people were wired that giving a compliment somehow takes away your power or sends the wrong message.

But I don't know anybody who doesn't love a little compliment, you know, even if it's just like, great outfit. I like your vibe. Great shoes. That color of your eyes is such a unique color. I haven't seen that color. Besides, you're hot, you're sexy, which of course you can say. But the more specific we are in our compliments, the better appeals for everybody. and it might be a sign that somebody is attracted to you.

You know, maybe their voice or energy shifts, they're a little bit slower. They're more intentional. They seem more focused on you. And maybe you even notice that their body language is a little bit nervous or fidgety. And if they initiate contact after, they send you a DM. They keep the connection going. You know, those could be all signs that they're a sexual attraction. So let me know if that answers your question here.

This was from our YouTube listener. So I really think that that's, those are some great signs right there. I love that. I love that refresher because sometimes we just don't know. And everyone's talking about how like other generations, I guess Gen Z is more hesitant around showing attraction or opening up to somebody they don't know. And maybe this hasn't been modeled to you as much. I don't know. We could blame it on the phones. You could blame it on porn. But showing attraction

isn't a given, I suppose. It's a practice. So if you're somebody who's like, I want to show this person that I'm into them, then work on your body language, work turning towards them instead of away, leaving your body language open rather than your arms crossed, flirting, touching, you know. Again, all of these things don't mean that someone is attracted to you for sure, but it's some signs that could point you in the direction that, hey, maybe there's some sexual attraction going on here. Okay, that's a great question. I of course want to prioritize my YouTube audience here. Okay. Yeah, he said, thank you, body language is everything. I've noticed eye contact in a subtle way of showing attraction too. Yeah, like subtle eye contact that lingers just a little bit longer,

right? Just a little bit of touch maybe against your hand or, you know, but eye contact is so magic. And if you're somebody who struggles with eye contact, this could be something that you can work on. You can practice eye contact. You can practice with a friend. You can practice with your dog. I'm looking at my dog right now. You can practice with your dog. You can practice it.

Most things that we don't know how to do are a skill set that we never learned. It wasn't modeled to us. So that's what I think there, everybody. Okay. I'll scroll this. How many people? It's all the way down there? You can't tell.

Yeah, you're at the bottom. I don't know how many. Usually we can see, but it's okay. That's just weird. It's not really. Okay. Any other questions from our YouTube here? Some of you sent these ahead of time, so I'm reading them.

Some of these came from my Instagram. And yeah, thank you all for hanging out with me. Should we can answer some more questions? Okay. We're on fire here, guys. Okay. Let's see. Let's see.

We've covered a lot here today. I'm trying to think it would be appropriate. Sex, someone just asked me about how do you keep your libido going when you're out of medication? Trintillex is what you said. Okay. How to keep increased libido while taking a medication like trinthalex? Let's see. I'm not sure about that one in particular.

So we'll look. But I can tell you that what happens is there's a lot of medications, you guys, that impact our libido. And I want you to know that. I think it's an antidepressant. And so changes in libido are super common on antidepressants and so many people are on antidepressants. Trindalex can have fewer side effects than traditional SSRIs. But, you know, these meds are affecting our serotonin and our dopamine that can infect our desire to want to have sex. It can affect our arousal getting turned on and our ability to orgasm. So when people say they have sexual side effects. Those are typically the side effects that you're going to see. So here's a few hacks.

Number one, timing. What time a day are you taking your medication? Some people notice that certain times of day if they take it in the morning, they'll be more turned out at night, taking sex, taking before, taking it in the evening, like the night before when you know you're having sex the next night, building arousal on purpose. Like, don't wait for arousal just to build in you. So what can you do to feel more connected and attracted, you know, flirting, touch, fantasy. A lot of times we think that our desire should be spontaneous like it was in the beginning or like it is sometimes like, oh, I see this person and I'm immediately turned on. But most of us have a responsive desire, a responsive really arousal. It comes from building a connection in the moment. So again, flirting, touch,

talking about fantasies, doing, having a really stimulating conversation that makes you feel really connected to this person. Also, making sure that you're healthy, that you're moving your body, you're doing workouts. Even a quick walk around the block can help you with blood flow. Remember, orgasms or erections, blood flow to the clitoris is all about, it is all about blood flow. And the healthier blood flow we have, the more likely we're going to feel that arousal moving through our body. Some tools, vibrators, game changer. Remember, our bodies are built. We have so many nerve endings and we use a vibrator on different body parts. We feel that vibration. It can be really healing and it can help us orgasm. And lube is a game changer. My dream is a lube on every nightstand.

This one's by playground. It's called pillow talk. Can you see it? I don't think you'd see it. But listen, when you add lube to any sexual situation, women are more likely to have an orgasm. It feels good for men too. It keeps it slippery and it starts to stimulate those nerve endings, even if your brain isn't on board for sex, these are all the other ways you can build arousal if your medication is impacting it. And also lower the pressure to have sex be all about orgasm. Sometimes just having it be about pleasure and sensation and connection and touch is really what you might be craving and help you feel more connected to the person anyway. And then you might find that orgasm comes later. So bottom line is if you're on an antidepressant or you're on any

medication. These are some other things that you got to incorporate because if you're just banking on having this spontaneous need to want to have sex, if you're on a medication like blood pressure, antidepressants, or even the birth control pill, these all impact your sex drive. They can impact your libido. And so what I want for you to know is to have all of these tools that could help you feel more connected. Your sex life isn't over because you're on an antidepressant. Got some good comments there. Oh, great.

Okay, oh my god, Emily, you had me on an episode around five years ago. I had sex somnia. I've learned how to manage it and more about what triggered it. Oh my God, that's amazing. I'm so glad to hear from you. Emily, back in your XM days, you talked about the Kiven method. I've told hundreds of people about this and I've received good feedback. You guys, these are my old listeners coming back.

I love you guys so much. Thank you for circling back. This is the vibes. This is like my serious XM day vibes. I used to do a live radio show five days a week. It was Monday through Fridays, 5 to 7 p.m. It was a highlight. It was how I connected with people best.

And so this is what we're doing now, but we're doing on YouTube. I'm so glad you guys are here. So let's address the sexomnia. So this is when someone's having sex with somebody and they start having sex while they're sleeping. So it's like initiating sex or touching your partner while you're sleeping. Maybe you're masturbating in your sleep. You're making sexual sounds or movement. And it's not intentional. Your partner is not this person or you who message me. You are not

consciously choosing to be sexual. So even though it's involuntary and you don't know you're doing it, it can impact consent in relationships. So you're starting to, you know, initiate sex while you're sleeping. But that can still be very confusing for a partner. So first you got to talk openly about it. If you know that you've sex somnia, it's something you have to address. So if you think it's happening, look at it. You just need, you know, without shape, them, but just awareness and support. You're allowed to say to your partner, hey, if I wake you up in the middle of the night, you're allowed to tap me, you're allowed to wake me up, stop me in the activist. So I hope that's what I said to you back then and that's what helped with you now.

Oh my God, the Kiven method is the best method for oral sex and I got to be honest, I don't think I've talked about it in six years. Let me refresh my memory. Do you all want the best tip for oral sex ever for going down on a woman? I will wait until you tell me that you want this. The Kiven Method, I talked about it so much. Again, I've been doing a podcast for 21 years. I know. I know. Yes, there were podcasts in 2005.

The Kibbid Method I talked about probably for the first 18 years. And I think I've retired it. But I'll bring it back. Do you guys want to hear about the Kiven Method? Okay. So here's the Kibbun Method. Oh my God, I got to jog my memory. So the Kiven Method is, God, that's such a throwback.

Okay. This is, we're going to bring a kid. back my bubble puppet. So, and I don't think I had my bubble puppet back then. So when you're going down on a woman, you probably think to go up and down, right? Like you're on the clitoris and you're going up and down, up and down. Instead of that, you go side to side. Think if your head is sideways across their pelvis, not between their legs. So you might be go between their legs and you're going up and down. This is a side to side movement. Here's why this works. The clitoris has thousands of nerve endings and side to side means that you are also hitting all of these.

Remember we talked about this is actually the clitoris, that it's not just this little bud, that it's all these legs. So if you think about it that way, if you're going in perpendicular, you are hitting all of these nerve endings, right? And these are all related to the clitoris, right? So you're thinking, up down, up down.

This is perpendicular, back and forth with your tongue, your hands, your toy, and then you're just literally hitting more. Just think about it. That's great. And you are indirectly stimulating all these nerve-bidings. But if you're going this way, back and forth, it is magic. I can't tell you, if I pulled up my emails right now, I probably are my DMs.

I probably have 5,000, 10,000 of you who said it changed your life. So it can also feel less direct and overwhelming. And it also could help build arousal. And it creates like a broader, more consistent, stimulation pattern. So there's just more area to work with and you're going back and forth. So stay consistent with the rhythm. You can use your hands. You can use your mouth. You can use a toy and communicate in real time. Let me know how it goes. Okay, I have time for another question. Yeah. Another question. I've about five more minutes with you all. So I know we're a little

but if somebody wants to ask me a question right here in YouTube, you've been hanging out with me for an hour. I want to prioritize your question rather than the questions that were sent ahead of time. The other thing is you guys, sign up for my newsletter or my Instagram. My newsletter is a great way to do it because you can get notifications of when I'm going live. Or follow me on Instagram. We'll be putting it here too. But this is my weekly service to you. And listen, we all need to have these conversations.

I love you all in the chat here sounding off. It's super helpful. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel. I'm also putting my full podcast on here. So just and then you'll get notified of me going live. If you subscribe, that would be amazing. Any other questions? It's so great to see everybody.

Okay. Let's see what I want to add here. Any other just bonus things that are on my mind right now. Okay. Here's one. Do fantasies, sexual fantasies, represent what a partner deep down might want to happen? Okay, now we got like three of them. Okay, let's do this.

Oh, my God, we got like six. Okay. This is your first stream ever. Thank you for joining me. I appreciate it. Okay. Okay. Ask your question. Blah, blah, blah. Sex Podcasts. There's an app that's understood how bare at the market is out there in rural areas. I love your pod. I wish so bad sex that podcaster, yeah. You guys, we get shadowband all the time. It's really hard to get this information out there. I don't even know if YouTube is going to allow me to continue to say all these words and do all these things. But I am truly, you know,

the people's sex educator. So someone said, oh, he's the one who wanted the answer. Yeah, she won't do anything to please me once in the other day. An older man who still wants to explore and have fun. I live in a dating desert. Yeah. I mean, listen, for anybody, I feel like a lot of people are at a dating desert right now. I've talked about the sex recession. I've talked about people don't date.

That we're all lonely. We're all stuck to our phones. My advice hasn't changed in 20-plus years. Do the things that you love to do. Get yourself out there. join a club say yes to every invite you get if someone asks you to like a barbecue in your neighborhood or to come do something and you're like I don't even know if that's something I'm into or how I feel about this neighbor your neighbor has friends that might show up at that party or that event so get out of your house even if it just wants to if you never leave your house now say I'm going to commit to one thing a week

just say yes to the invites that come in number two do things that you already love doing okay so if you love going to the gym take classes at the gym say hi to people If you like going on hikes, you like drinking wine, join a wine group, take a cooking class. Take a class, you guys. Do something in here. Go to the library. There's classes there. Like you don't have to spend a lot of money to meet people. Smile at people.

Say hi. Make eye contact. If you notice someone out in the wild, just, hey, what do you think about this place? I've never eaten here before. Oh, is it always as crowded? How about that rain today? It doesn't have to be like strike up conversations. This is also a muscle and a skill set that a lot of us are just so much more

being on our phones, but start talking to people, saying hello, smiling, making eye contact. I notice I do this as well. I have times I leave the house. I'm on my phone. I have my AirPods in. What message is that signaling people? Well, it's saying I'm not available. I'm not looking for connection. You know, I'm not looking for anything. And I know that I'm guilty of that as well. I join a new gym and I walk in there with my AirPods on looking down. It's like, okay, maybe I'll take my own advice. I start saying hi to people. I start noticing the same people are there. And then the third thing is you start and I start making friends at the gym. Now the other thing, the third thing is let people know that you're single and dating. Say, hey, if you think of anybody,

please fix me up. Because this way, they might not in that moment be thinking of somebody, but the next time they're out and about or they meet somebody, they're like, I got someone for you. That person isn't just going to fall from the sky. That's not how we meet people anymore. You know, and if you don't love the dating apps, which is also fraught for many people, but also maybe a necessary evil for some people, do everything you can to meet somebody. Like, it's, it's really the only way it's going to happen is putting yourself out there. And in the moments where you make yourself a little bit uncomfortable, because it's really easy to be comfortable these days, we can order everything to our homes, we can work from home, we can, you know, do everything waist up on a computer. We, you know,

literally don't have to leave our homes. I mean, I live in L.A., so I actually don't have to leave my home. Maybe if you're in your more rural area, you got to go to the grocery store. But we don't even have to do that here. So how do we counter that? And it's very comfortable. Like I think that our whole lives are, I think our natural state is to stay home and be comfortable, sit on the couch and watch TV. This is before we even had cell phones. I think it's very safe to be in the cocoon of our own home. But when we just say I'm going to do one thing this week that scares me, that's out of my comfort zone. I just took a comedy class, you guys. I've not taken a class since I was in grad school in 30 years. And I was like, I've always wanted to do stand-up comedy. And I did a comedy class. It's completely

changed my life. I committed to it for three months. This died, I think, yeah. I committed to it for three months. It was really hard. It was 10 hours a week. It ended up being like 10, 15 hours a week because I had to write jokes. I got to write jokes. I met a bunch of people. I have all these new friends. So, and I'm doing comedy and I'm doing sex with Emily Live. I'm going on a tour to a city near you. So again, sign up for my mailing list. Go to my website. I will notify you when I'm in your area. But it literally changed my whole effort 20 years. I was like, I've got to do something different. So I don't know. Take that class. There's a million classes you can take. Something you want to get better at. It could be AI. It could be, you know, anything to do with your business or your life.

you can learn everything. My mom is 80 years old. She just took a flower making class, a flower arranging class, right? Doesn't matter how old you are. There are classes you can take. There are things you can do in your area. Well, you'll just meet like-minded people. You'll build your community. Okay, so I'm building my community here with you all on YouTube. So this is my choice. This is where I'm going to be. I do spend a lot of time on, you know, I'm also on TikTok and Instagram. You can follow me all there at sex with Emily. But I'm going to be here with you all. we're posting you podcasts please subscribe