Sex With Emily - Hugs, Love & Lesbian Porn

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is talking about nude picture protocols and what science has to say about the benefits of hugging, as well as taking your calls. She shares her knowledge about taking on the elusive g-spot orgasm after having mastered the clitoral orgasms, how to go about asking your wife to peg you for the first time, and why lesbian porn is enjoyed by all sexual orientations. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: We-Vibe, Third Love, Magic Wand, SiriusXM, Emily's Subscription Box Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm talking about new picture protocols. And what science has to say about the benefits of hugging. And I'm taking your calls. Topics include hugging. It's got so many benefits. So if you're not a hugger, you might want to try it out. All right, you've got your literal ones down, but you're ready to take on the elusive g-spot orgasm. Pegging. Okay, what's the deal with that? And you're straight, but you only watch lesbian porn. What does it mean? All this and more. Thanks for listening. You often ask me about new ways to connect with your partner and keep things super hot. Well, I've got the solution that will add adventure to your sex life in all the right ways.

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and you know it's gonna be good and sexy. We've also had contestant social media, so you should follow us everywhere at sex with Emily, wherever you're hanging out on social media, we are there. Okay, guys, enjoy the show. It's national send nude's day, which is not something I'm a huge fan of unless you follow certain parameters around it and certain, you know, I think you just don't want to send a nude.

First of all, what is this? This is urban dictionary. It says send Nudes to someone you feel comfortable with. Whether it's a boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or someone you have a thing with. And I don't know if it's because when everyone started sending Nudes, like, maybe it might, I feel like people do it. They get coerced doing to it. Like they're 20s and their teens now because there's digital cameras.

And it became a whole thing, like sending nude photos. But I always think you got to air on the side of caution, for sure, they do come back and bite you with the ass. You have to think before you send it. I can't tell you how many people I've been saying next to where they're like, look what I just got. And they show me the picture that someone sent them. So you wanna make sure you, you know,

you don't include your face, you don't include any marks signifying that it's you tattoos. So, I think if you take some of those precautions and there's some of those you love, you can send photos. But again, I feel differently than, like, for example, Jamie Michelle, because if I want to take a new photo when I was 20, I would have had to take a role of film to the drug store and then they would have had to develop it and then I'd be like embarrassed, like, don't look at picture number four and then you'd have to to, like that wasn't an option, right?

And then with the invention of cell phones, or probably with smartphones, I would think the iPhone. And how would you've said a new before that? Fapping all that, like the fat thing when people were, oh, yeah. You couldn't do that. So now it's become a whole thing. And I think a lot of kids were getting younger people

or just like getting coerced into it by like their boyfriends, like in high school and stuff. And I do think it's become a whole thing, and I think a lot of kids were getting younger people or just like getting coerced into it by like their boyfriend's like in high school and stuff. And I do think it's, you know, I think you do, even if someone, so I hope someone's listening to this. If right now there's someone in your life saying, send me one, I'll show you yours if you show you mine. If you don't know someone or you just met them or even if it's a new thing, I think you can send something that's sexy and tasteful, but it doesn't have to be nude. That's just as provocative. Yeah. If you want to go down that road, but you don't have to be nude. That's just as provocative, if you want to go down that road.

But you don't need to send them everything. I don't think you do. I'm probably the only person I know that has never sent one. It just seems like you gotta take time, you gotta get the right light, you gotta get in the right positioning and stuff. And I just was like, and also who,

just wait till you see me in person. I look pretty good, but I understand the allure of it. So really it's more about like, I'm gonna do those boot war shirts, shots. Those will be hot. Those will be hot. Those will be sexy. Yeah. Not naked. But what I like, I know that Jamie and you Michelle do this is that you guys actually have taken nudes when you just think you look hot for yourself. It's a mood. You have ready to go. You're like, I'm in the mood. I'm feeling myself. I'm like, that is so.

I love that. No one's going to see them just taking pictures of yourself. So I like that. Like when I talk about, get to know your body. Look at yourself in the mirror. I think it's a way to love yourself. We did get, you know, if you do say it's a dick pic, we block it. However, today, while I was not here, I was on meet very important meetings all day,

but apparently there was a massive. Oh my God. Dicpit was in a pendant, another pendant, massive, look at arm. It literally looked like he was cradling and uncooked salami. Yeah. Yeah.

Jamie, like scrambled, like everything that she was doing just like came to a halt. And I was like, what? And she's like, she couldn't even halt and I was like what she's like she couldn't even talk she's like look at this she's like this is literally a third arm. Yeah because I mean that doesn't happen as often as you might think which is good. What us getting dick pics? Yeah it really does it. I think it's gotten less over time people are realizing like oh you're serious. I got sex in the time of what we are not fucking.

It's sex with Emily not sex sex with you, not sex with everyone. But I help Emily gets a lot of direct messages, so I try to go through and help and do as many as I can if they can send an email or if it's something that can be easily answered if they're looking for a product or whatever. So I see this one and it's like, you know, you always know it's like it says, image has been blurred or whatever. But a lot of times it's actually not anything bad.

So I clicked on it and I was like, oh my God, I would not want that thing to come anywhere. No, that's so huge. I'm telling you all you guys worried about your penises, we've had more complete we hear for more men Whose penis are too big and it's a problem for their partners or themselves than too small So I think that's good to worry about that But I do appreciate that JB deleted it, but she did she blocked them But she did take a screenshot

I can't to like you know, yeah, I just need to share it there So anyway if you are in a committed loving relationship and and you trust Anyway, if you already have committed loving relationship and you trust your partner and you've been together for a while and you want to take a picture day, apparently it's the day. And that's what I think, but I'm not like. Otherwise, no. Michelle's actually the only person I've sent to YouTube. Yeah, it was great.

I texted her one day because we have a mutual friend. And I was like, Jamie's ass is just so great. And I was just talking to her about it when I was out to Jamie's ass is just so great. And I was just talking to her about it when I was out to drink with our friend. And I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna text Jamie and ask her for an ass pick or a booty pick.

And I was like, hey Jamie, send me a booty pick and she just sent me a full on nude. I didn't, I was like, well, because I was laying down on the couch and my PJs and I was just like, all right, which one's the best? Which one does it look the best? So I was like, do a folder that on your phone that just like,

I can't use nude. Yeah, I'm a hidden folder. There's a hidden folder. If you have an iPhone, you can see, best? Which one does it look the best? So I'm just... Do a folder on your phone that just like, can't use nude. Yeah, I'm a hidden folder. There's a hidden folder. If you have an iPhone, you can say, yeah, I've put it to a hidden folder. I do. My ex put to his dick pics in there that he... Yeah. I don't know where it is though.

It's hidden. It's the extra hidden. Someday I'll find it. Anyway, he's like, here, I'll put it in a year so you can find it. I don't want to see it anyway. So it's the whole thing, the nude. I don't know why.

What? I don't know why. I don't know why. Like it's just fun to take. No, but I like it that it's for self-esteem that you actually are like, I'm feeling myself today. Like it felt good. Like I look so hot. Like yes, she's like, look at my ass and he's like, the picture of myself.

Yeah, she's eating that. I'm amazing. Like I think that we could all learn from that. I do. I never am like, let me take it. I mean, I like myself and my body, but I'm not like thinking about how to I take a picture in any moment, but you know, it helps you with your self-esteem. Maybe they send a new to yourself.

Look in the mirror. Take a picture of yourself. I love that. You guys can cause with anything, triple eight, nine, four, seven, eight, two, seven, seven. There's some scientific benefits to hugging, according to science, and you know that I feel like when science backs us up, I feel good about it. And I've always known like, I am a hugger. I love hugging I think it's important that we connect and a lot of times you guys are calling me I'd say one of the most common questions we get asked is How do I have set more sex with my partner? We're not connecting enough and I always say what about intimacy? Is there intimacy? Are you holding hands? Are you hugging and I'm telling you guys a

intimacy. Is there intimacy? Are you holding hands? Are you hugging? And I'm telling you guys, a 22nd hug releases the bonding hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin, which is nature's antidepressant and anti-anxiety hormone. And so here's some reasons why I think, and it's true, like I, you guys even said, we were talking, and she's like, you give great hugs. I forget love hugging. And I think, even if you're a relationship, you guys have been feeling disconnected. If you hug each other for 20 seconds in the morning before you leave for work at night, and it's not about sex, it's just connection.

It'll do wonders. So hugs can also help the treat insomnia and anxiety. So lack of sleep as we know. Secondary health issues. I feel like everybody has sleep issues these days. Every other person I talk to is like, I just can't sleep, but I just can't sleep. I think a lot of it has to do with stress, has to do with our phones. Screens for sure.

Screens are doing it to us. You got to leave the screens outside your room. You got to put on, you can buy those glasses, those block glasses. I need those. Yeah. You could order a monamonic. Definitely. The orange, you know, whatever. Like, and all those things that they are blocking our sleep. They are preventing us from sleeping.

But interestingly enough, one thing that helps weighted blankets, which I happen to get Jamie for a birthday, it's amazing. It's amazing. They're filled with plastic poly pellets and weigh between 15 and 30 pounds. And what they do is they relax your nervous system and it feels like a hug. It does. The blanket feels like a hug. So you could do that.

Hugging reduces your fear of mortality. Like I don't have a fear of death, but a lot of people, you might have a fear of death. You might be feeling like, I think a lot of us can get to places in our life where we're like, we're so anxious about just life. We have a fear that we get through certain age or something happens when we love,

but if you, in patients with low self-esteem, so participants with low self-esteem, who received physical touch, reported less death anxiety than those who had not been touched. So I feel like it helps depression, it helps anxiety, I mean, it makes sense. When you're connecting with somebody else, and I think a lot of what we are now,

everyone's talking about this sex crisis, I think that we are in a crisis of connection. And so hugging will help that help you not feel so lonely. Hug, okay, this is for you guys, hug increases, hugs increase bonding and strength in relationships. So this is real. For you guys, for couples, hugging can help bridge a gap between what happens in the bedroom

and what happens in day-to-day life. It maintains intimacy. And I don't know. There's a study that says that hugs are more important for couples happiness than sex. Interesting. I know. And hugging may also provide benefits, include stimulating, you know, centers of our olfactory systems, a part of our brain, a part of our response, a part of our smell.

That's why smell and touch of our partner makes us feel loved and cared for. Hugs also provide a form of communication separate from sex. So let me say this again. I think that there are some couples who decide not to hug and touch because what has happened and I hear this from women a lot, they say that when my husband, whenever it touches me, it's going to lead to sex. And so as a result, I have to like not hug or not touch me because when I feel at some point something happened in the relationship that whenever you're part or can happen with women to whatever your part or touched you, it was assigned to you that you're going to get a dick in the back or it's the morning or something or you're

going to be like your partner is going to be one sex. But I think that if that's happened to you, then maybe you could take a minute. You could even talk to your partner about it and bring back hugging in your relationship. It's like a 20 second hug, a 10 second hug. It allows you to feel close without the sex, without draining all the energy. You don't actually have to have sex to feel connected, which is good, because sometimes you just don't want to bone. Yeah, I was going to ask you if you thought more often than not, if it was the sex that

left first and then the intimacy or the intimacy that left first and then the sex. That's a really good question. I think, I think it's probably little both. I bet you that they kind of after-free together. Oh, okay. Like I wonder, I bet you that people have sex. And I don't know, I mean, I think, I think it's both. It's kind of like a chicken and egg thing.

Like if you're not really having sex anymore, you're not really peeping as intimate as much. But I do believe that couples, sometimes are in having sex, and they still are really intimate. We've heard from people, go, we hold hands, and we do all these things at the time,

but we're still not having sex. And if it says here, they can bond, and they can also help with self-esteem in children, which I think is so important. We all know how important it is to hug children. Oh, yeah. And it says, a child's brain, a young child's brain, needs a lot of stimulation to grow

and develop. And physical touch, one of the most important simulations that can facilitate child development. And I've heard these studies many times. So hug a child today. Remember all those hug a child today, bumper stickers. Yeah. Have you hugged your child today? I do.

I do remember that. I just want to wear like a hug me. I'm sure I do. Actually, I was like, oh, I was like, I don't know if you want to wear that. I don't want to wear it. But I was actually in Ohio last year. Ohio is this amazing Qil Town and outside of LA. It could get away place. And there was a farmer's market and there was like a thing something like, and I think they message me. What does it matter? Pied and get back to them. But I love their message. It was like free hugs. It was like free hugs. And they have the whole hug thing.

I'm a campaign going on about hugging that we all need to hug more. Which I like. Hugs also causes your muscles to relax. So if you go, it doesn't even know when you hug someone, it's not like that in your guard, just like massage, it just lets you relax.

It helps your immune system. And you can always like tell when you're hugging someone that's not really, like they're stiff. Yeah. You know it's funny, so I was in the meeting today. And I, we left the meeting, and it was such a good meeting. It's such cool people, I loved everyone, there's five people. And I hugged one of the women, one of the men,

one woman, like she put out her hand, and then like another person put out their hand. And it's like, there are the huggers in the world and the non-hugger. So I understand it was a business meeting, but like, it's always an awkward moment. This is just separate thought when you notice someone gonna hug or not.

I feel like LA is very huggier. California is very huggier, don't you think? You know, many ways. But there always is that hugging, don't you think? In many ways. But there are always is that, I don't know if you guys come into that, do we have to do that? And I'm always like, I'm a hugger. Like I always hug everyone. But some people just aren't touchy like this.

So I think this message about hugging is good for people who like, in their relationship, they're like, I just don't want to touch. I think this is a, you know, you have an hug, your partner in the world. It's a good time to do so, or just hug other people. Like, why did those people put out their hand? It was just interesting. Like they've already decided I'm not a hugger. Here's my, I know you just hugged my colleague,

but you're not hugging me. Yeah, do you think that when you meet somebody, when you first meet somebody, that hugging really helps with it, like instead of giving, hi, Michelle. I feel like it's a hug. Hi, Michelle, hug. Like how does that make you feel?

Because sometimes it's like, oh, like I just met you. You do that, right? Yeah, I do. I'm like, I'm like it's a thing. Hi, Michelle, hug. Like, how does that make you feel? Because sometimes it's like, oh, like I just met you. You do that, right? Yeah, I do. I'm like, ringing it. Always, right? Yeah. I think it's a very, I feel like there's certain groups of people I hang out with that is a thing.

And I don't know if it's like an LA thing or like a Burning Man or a happy thing, they're like, hi. There's certain parties I go to. I like it. I'm twisty. I like it. But I think some people, if they like fluent from the Midwest and like, you walk them like, hi, give them a hug, they might be like, well, but I think it's good because

you're so love. You're all love. Like there's a certain place in time, like, you know, first time I met you, I wasn't going to be like, hi, I'm Michelle. Probably did though. No, I can't do it. You're a Hanchie. Sure.

Okay. Yeah, because it's professional. Okay. Maybe at the end of that. Yeah, I was always like, bye. Well, I was interviewing people yesterday because I'm looking for an assistant and like one of my liked or so much I hugged her.

I'm like, is that weird? I love her. I can't help it. I feel like I air on the side of caution. I kind of go with whatever because I don't want to like make someone else feel uncomfortable. But how does a great fear of sex life to you guys? A correlation between post-sex affectionate behavior, kissing, cuddling and talking.

There is a relationship between sexual and relationship satisfaction. But like if you hug more, you're more affectionate behavior in your relationship for approximately 15 minutes after sex. So after care, after care is a big thing in relationship. The guy, if you, we have sex and you roll over and fall asleep, I feel like I'm dying.

I need you to hug me for a while. We need to like connect. But I'm an extra, I must not have got a lot of hugs as a child. You're a very tactile person. I'm very tactile. Like, all the houses, you're soft and fuzzy. Like, I want to be touching things all the time.

I mean, did your parents give you a lot of hugs? Yeah, totally. Both my parents. You just know, like, did your parents hug you? Like, one of those things. It's just like, has that person, was did your mom hug you? When you talk about children, children need hugs like, has that person, did your mom, when you talk about children? Children need hugs.

It's like, I wonder. I think I understand all my problems. None of my mom's not loving. I think I didn't get a idea. I've been doing what, I don't think she hugged me enough. Cause why am I obsessed with like touch and hugging? It's so weird, cause there's certain people, I feel like I feed off of energy.

So there's certain people that I'll bride away, but like yeah, I'll a tug. And then other people, then I'm like, oh, hey, yeah, you can tell. You know what? That party that we went to like a month ago, you were hugging everybody right at first. Now that I remember, I wasn't, I wasn't. It was proposed prior to Kila. Preach Kila. Yeah, but you were. And I was like, yes, because it makes me happy when I'm with somebody who loves hugs just

as much as I do. Well, because all the things I could, it was a party was like, energy, and everyone was like, like good. It was a part, it was like energy, and everyone was like, you, like really cool. And so I was like, yeah, but then there's people that I can tell, like sometimes you're like, oh shit, like I sometimes I think I misread the energy though, and I don't hug someone, and they kind of look at me, like they wanted to hug, or I don't know.

And I'm like, oh, now I'm in my head. It's a weird thing. Yeah, there's a weird thing. There's like the awkward side hug. Oh my god, and then then you kind of bump heads. And then the weird awkward, do we kiss? Yeah, kissing or not kissing. It's a whole thing.

That's a whole other thing. Is that like the kiss on the cheek thing? I didn't experience that until like, I don't know. I think it's, to me, I want to say it's more of like a slightly older and East Coast thing. Yeah. To do. Yeah, I guess like, like, I side kiss. Yeah, which is totally cool, but it's just interesting

because I didn't, I never experienced that from people my age. So the first time it happened, I was like, oh. Oh, because you guys are just hugging? Because we were just hug. Yeah. Like that was not a thing. And then also kissing went away now.

I feel like you're right. People are kissing as much. I kind of like it. It's kind of not like, I give you. Don't make kissing move. When we said goodbye yesterday, we were like, okay, bye. And we were like, felt it in the moment, like in your car. And I was like, here's your bag.

And I was like, wow. And I was like, yes, kiss. You got the kiss on the cheek. I like it. Oh, I adore you. Cause your face was so close. I was so cute. I was like, hi.

I just want to kiss you. I just wanted to. I felt the same way. And we just like reciprocated. We were like, let's do it. I see you, no, you just want to, oh, there's so much love. You're so good. I know, right?

Like, I feel like we love each other. Like, all of our smiles, we just started talking about hugs. And now we're all just like so giddy, right? I know. See, this is what we're doing. You guys remember hugging is a reciprocal act we gave and we received. So we recognize that.

Like, I don't know. I think if you're feeling alone and lonely, like, go hug someone. That's what I think. I think it's good for us. I think if you're feeling alone and loony, go hug someone. That's what I think. I think it's good for us. I think science tells us and proves it. All right, we are going to take a quick break and we come back. We're going to get into your calls.

Let's talk to Kathy. She's 22 in California and she wants to figure out how different ways to orgasm through penetration. All right. Hey Kathy, thanks for calling. Hey. Hi. So tell me.

So I have been and I have been sexual together for about five years and in the beginning it was all penetration. We're young and it was fine. You're 22 right? You know when you're... Do we have your age right? 22, I'm so sweet heart. Okay, you're young.

You're still young. Okay, got it. Yeah, we're really, really, really young. Okay. So we're high school sweet heart. And everything goes crazy when your hormones are ready. Yeah, the best. But when we got older, I went through the space where I just never wanted to have sex.

And then finally, recently, I'm able to orgasm consistently through oral. And he loves it, I love it. But I just feel bad because we'll have oral. And it's amazing. I orgasm and then we do penetration so she can come, but is there like a way where I can feel good through penetration? So it doesn't have to be like, okay, you orgasm. I orgasm because I don't feel any pleasure when it's just the penetration. Yeah, here are you, Kathy.

That's how he works. Exactly. So this is the... This is the crux of my life. This is the crux of what we talk about here on the show. So I'm so glad you called it. Of what we try to teach, because so just so you know, Kathy, you know that if you've been listening, it's common, right?

Most women don't orgasm through intercourse. In fact, most women orgasm through oral. And so really how you could do it is, which I love at your husband, is that you could, first of all, the first thing first, the easy thing would be to still stimulate your Clitoris during penetration. Have you ever tried like using your hands or some lube or a little little external toy a little vibrator? I haven't I've used my hand and I haven't been able to. I don't know and I don't know if it's because I'm just so used to him. Yeah, we get it to do that. It was like knows me better than myself. I haven't used a toy or anything. Well, I mean he knows you better like have you ever masturbated? Because that's gonna be my next thing. Because that's high. Oh, okay, cool. So, so I would say that

there's so first of all, I would try doing it when you are you know when you're having sex sex time play maybe he could even use his hands because he knows you so well and also using Loub so always no matter like just add a few drops of Loub because that the clitoris is not self-loeb locating even if you're wet at the beginning a second you know it doesn't always less the whole time and it just it aids in orgasm for women when you add a few drops of Loub to any sex act so just know that. The other thing is, is the old internal orgasm, which is sometimes called the G-Spot orgasm. And that would take some exploring on your own or with him,

but looking for that internal because, you know, a G-Spot area, which we've talked about, you know, you kind of, it helps to be already turned on and warmed up and that's also helps do your keggelector sizes too. So if you do your keggells, that is super helpful. Like for me, that was like my G-Spot gateway when I learned to strengthen my pelvic floor. And so, but it's, you know, it's about, do you know what the G-Spot is? It's kind of, no. Right, okay. No, I'm masturbated, but I've never been able to masturbate. Internally.

Yeah, most women don't. Like the secret is, I mean most, most, but many don't. Usually we learn to masturbate, we have orgasms, it's usually literal. So internally, there's also some magic going on in there. And so if you want to do it on your own, it just like helps again to be already aroused

and you put a finger inside of you or you can use a toy or he could use his finger and you kind of you put it inside and you know just one finger and you curve it toward you put it inside and then it's sort of a come-hiddler motion towards your belly button about an inch and a half inside your vaginal opening. And so then you'll feel like there's sort of a spot there and it's an area. I don't like to call it a spot, actually. They call it the do spot.

I think it's a gray area, a gray area. I'm going to come with a better name. And then it starts, and that's why I say it helps to be aroused because the blood's rushing in the area and you're more. And you can pie some pressure there and then see how that feels. So once you learn to have a do spot orgasm and you learn that internal area, then when you're on top or you're having sex with him, intercourse, you can kind of learn how to move to have more pleasure.

There's also, yeah, that's one way to do it, but also the other two ways, but the third way is to experiment with different positions and play around with your sex life together and play around with giving you to other massages and finding new aridness zones and kind of building your sex life up in every area, your sexual relationship up. So through kissing and making out. I'm mental thing as a good overs because we know what works and our schedule is crazy. We're like, oh yeah, this is what works for us, but let's just continue doing those. Yeah, no, this is what everyone does.

Oh my God. Just like getting over it. I know. Well, I think it would be a matter of saying to your husband, like, I'm so excited to explore some new fun things with you. Let's try some new positions. You can actually, my book is great for this. I have a book called Hot Sex. Over 200 things you can try tonight.

And it's on Amazon. It's like 15 bucks. And it's a very cool book because it's like picture. You open it up and you can get any page. It shows you different positions and different things to try. And like you could have that at your night stand, you both could open up and be like, let's try this tonight. So like that's kind of ways to, you know, go to a sex toy store together, listen to the

my podcast together, a lot of couples listen to the show together and then they get inspired and they get ideas. Because once sex becomes part of your relationship, your dialogue, the things you guys shook, one of the passions that you both share is enhancing intimacy and sex in your relationship, your dialogue, the things you guys took, one of the passions that you both share is enhancing intimacy and sex in your relationship because you're together. We'll just sort of naturally from there, if you decide together,

it'll just figure out different positions and how to mix it up. You won't want to keep doing that. I mean, you will still go back to the go-to as we all do that, we're busy. But it's really great to try something new. And having sex sometimes sometimes outside the bedroom. Sometimes you just gotta leave the bedroom and do it on the couch or do it in the backyard.

Have sex in the shower. Go on a date and get a hotel room for a few hours. Those little things will take you out of your normal routine and inspire you. Okay. Yeah. Awesome. Any one of those. So, welcome, Kathy.

I think she's gonna, thanks for calling. I think any one of those could help her have the orgasm. But I get it when she was asking that, it was like, that is probably the most confusing and most common question we get asked is in that realm from women about orgasms, is how do I, how come I can't have an orgasm during intercourse which is where we all feel a little bit broken because that's the only kind of orgasm we see in movies and literature and television so we all think we're broken in some way. But we're not.

You can always figure it out. So this is from Rob who's 44 in Pennsylvania and says pegging. What is the draw to it for non-gay males and how do you ask your wife about doing it in a way that she will understand? Okay, so Rob, great question. Pegging. Pegging is, I love that Pegging is becoming a little bit more known right now. Pegging essentially is when a partner penetrates you from like your anus using a strap on, a filter, and the draw to it for men, every, all men, many a man, is that no sex act makes you gay or straight. Has nothing to do with that at all. If you have a prostate, which men do, women do not have prostate, that whole area is just full of nerve ending

is in pleasure that that's the appeal. And it still is seen as taboo, so that's like another draw to it. So that is the appeal to it. And I think that what you gotta do is just start a conversation with your wife. I don't think that you lead with the pegging if you've never talked to her by anything. Because remember, when we want something so bad, it can be like, so we just say,

like, I want you to peg me and they're like, what? I don't understand. So you really have to make it about both of you. Talk about what you're both into. You know, talk about fantasies. You have to have conversations that I'm always saying on the show like, you know, let's talk about our sex life. And I'd love to prioritize us trying some fun things. So what are your turn-ons?

What have we done that you're really into? And then once she explains what she's into, you can talk about you think it'd be fun to play, do some playing on yourself and then you know, you think it'd be fun to explore other erotic zones and then you work your way up to pegging. You just have to have a lot of conversations. Remember, these sex conversations are not just one conversation. You can have a few conversations so she can actually

understand what it's about and then have her decide. The thing that's really interesting to me is the whole kind of especially at least in heterosexual relationships, the role, reversal. Like how, because it's like the the woman in this situation like he's wants to do with his wife. So she's going to be doing. Well, that's the thing. She's going to be penetrating. And he's going to be penetrating. Yeah. He's going to be receiving. So it's also very like emotionally that can be challenging. Some women might not be into that. Like she might be like,

I'm not sure that I would be in it, but I have to tell you that I think we don't know what we're gonna be into until we try it. And I think my thing is that, I think so much about sex is so scary. And if this is your husband, I just feel like I understand, if you could break down why you might not want to do it, there might be some fears, you think it's wrong,

it's gross, it's dirty. I mean, you can kind of handle those things. You could figure out, you can figure out ways to kind of understand it, but I kind of think why not try it once. I don't know. I think we should be more open about sex for our part. Like why not penetrate orfaces that feel good? If he wants to, I'm not going to pressure it. You know what I always say?

Like, I just think that a lot of people don't understand it. Like, there's many women I know who are know where I thought I would never be into it, but then once I actually did it, you know, and I learned more about it, it's actually really hot to be in control and to be the woman with like a, like you have essentially a penis between your legs for a moment in time. And you're like, oh, it's hot to be the in charge. I don't think we know. I think a lot of us are switches.

It's all about energy. So I think that just because a lot of us might like being more passive or you know, some misive during sex, it doesn't mean that we couldn't get off on being dominant sometimes as well, which is the polarity that we all need. And it gets exhausting to always be the same way. Let's talk to Sam. It's 29 in Canada. Who has a question about lesbian porn? Hey, Sam. Hi, Emily. Hi. How are you? Good. Let's talk. What's your question? Yeah so I heard you guys chatting. I was going to go and you were

saying like a little finding porn to watch with your partner and you were like the first thing that came out of your mouth was like yeah most people like watching lesbian porn. Yeah they do.. I was like thinking about it, reflecting on it. And definitely, some female heterosexual Mary, very happily married, never been with a woman. Don't have any interest to be. But I've always, like, definitely the only type of porn I like watching. Yeah, totally.

No. What your perspective was on that. I don't know. I never really thought twice about it. But I also was like, I don't have any desire to act on those right of course I know exactly what it feels like when I watch people doing that to each other Like I just don't really get excited by watching a dick being so Do exactly that's what I'm saying

Yeah, cuz I mean that's weird or normal. Yeah, no, my God, it's the most normal thing. And that's why I said, I was like, most people, most women, the majority of women, their favorite kind of porn happens to be like, same sex porn, women, lesbian porn, whether they're, you know, whether they never want to be with someone or they am,

just because, you know, we just, I think it's that it is our, because it's what you said. First of all, women, I think are beautiful. It's our own body. We can identify it. We have the own body. We can identify it. We have the same body. We know what it feels like.

A lot of what's happening in lesbian porn is kind of what we would like to happen. Somebody who really knows where the clitoris is and how to use it and how to drive it and the vulva. And both partners are really into it and enjoying themselves. So it's kind of like an energy exchange that we can kind of, I don't know, we can put ourself in their shoes or in their pockets.

So yeah, that's what, what do you mean, don't you think that's kind of how it feels? And then I guess what you're saying, like to me, watching a dicks, I'm not as much into that either. And I think a lot of women, which is so interesting, which is why the problem finding that, I guess we can find a lot of lesbian porn. But a lot of porn is made from the male gaze, you know, from the four men. But even the lesbian porn. Yeah.

Yeah, I know even, but like, you know, when I talked to my husband about it, I think he's fine with it, but I would assume that he's like, you know, he wonders, oh, is this something that she would ever ask her along? Yeah, just like women. Yeah, exactly. You just got to tell him, no, I mean, it's really, I love that, oh my God, it's literally the most, and I don't love using the word normal around sex. No, I'm not saying that by normal,

because most things are normal. I would say like most of the things that people are calling about are normal. Biggest thing, and the only thing that, the most normal thing about sex is that we're confused that what we're doing is wrong, that we have a pro, that we're worried, you know? So yes, the thing is that,

but to be honest, the study is everything. The most common porn watch by women is lesbian porn. A crock like, yeah. And a lot of, so it's the most normal thing. And it's because of the reasons you're saying. And a lot of them are like, yeah, I don't get it. They haven't listened to the show or they haven't got any information about it. They're like, what's wrong with me? Does it mean I want to be with women? But there's two kinds of fantasy, Sam. There's the fantasies that we actually want to happen in real life. And then there's the ones that we just, you know, we use for our self-loving time. You know, we use it in our own, we

use it in our head, and we don't have to share it with everybody. We don't have to share it with anybody just for ourselves. And that's what we can have. Crazy gang bang, whatever fantasies we're having. You might not want it. I don't know, Sam, maybe you'll go there. But you know, like 15 women going down on you, you know? Like, but, but that's, so I just think yeah. No, not in the sense. Yeah, I was always just curious. Like I saw it. I saw a few.

No, I'm so, yeah. Well, now you know, now it knows it means that you're completely healthy female, that you masturbate. I love that you masturbate and I love that your husband knows and that you're married and you're still taking care of yourself because I think we should never stop self-loving, ever, ever, ever. Be very hopeful. Okay, good. Thank you for what.

You're so welcome, Sam. Thanks for calling. There we go. All right, guys, I hope you enjoyed the show as much as I enjoyed doing the show. God, thanks for my amazing team. Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you?

E-Mommy, feedback at sexwithemily.com.