Sex With Emily - Just the Tip: How to Succeed in the Dating Game

Episode Date: September 3, 2014

In today’s Podcast, Emily and Anderson are teaming up to help you succeed in the dating game, and satisfy your sexual needs! They answer listener emails, cover some of the do’s and don’ts of dating, and address some common dating misconceptions.Before they jump into some sex in the news, Emily has some news of her own. She’s ready to take her own advice and jump back into dating, which means you can look forward to more tales from the Emily dating files. Speaking of which, Emily recounts her most recent (and completely bizarre) blind date experience, which leads her to some key advice for what NOT to do on a date. This Podcast answers some major dating questions: How important are looks, really? How do you impress the ladies? And what state has the best potential for finding you next hookup? They’ve got the tips, and then some. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks so much for listening to this show. We got a great show for you tonight. We'll be answering all your emails and everything you've been curious about. And a lot of them have to do with your penis. So thank you for supporting my sponsors and Promescent, which is directly related to your penis because I gotta tell you one in three men suffers from premature ejaculation. Promescent is this quickly absorbing delay spray that you put on your penis before sex and you can last twice as long or longer in bed. And then you want. So it's really good for guys because the guys who do come too quickly before their partner, they're worried about it the whole time and they're not enjoying sex.

And there's an orgasm gap because most women take 20, 25 minutes of an orgasm, guys and they take like, these guys, we take a minute, hello gap there, she's not having an orgasm. You know, the last thing you want is like, you know, right now is good But afterwards is what really matters and when she's talking to her friends You don't want her like in a sprinting the word the Minimans minute man. You do not want to be called the Minimans So you kind of check out for mess and help she less twice as long and the other thing is it is the only

FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculations to go to promessesson.com, that's promemceant.com. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because, uh, my man, he here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand.

Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so, I'm gone.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithendly.com. Check out our blogs or everything. Check out the sign up for our mailing list for Christ's sake.

Because I send you emails not too many and they're actually they're actually really informative and entertaining and it'll change your sex life and also okay guys right now I don't care what you're doing, pull out your phone or your laptop and I want you to follow me on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook if you love me I'm here helping you follow me, sex with Emily at all those places I would appreciate it that would be awesome. And also I do these Twitter chats on Wednesdays from 1231 Pacific Center time. I answer all your questions as I do here on the show. And I'm here with Anderson this evening. What up, sex! How you doing, Anderson? I'm doing fantastic. Yeah, it's great to see you. I've been, so I just, I have to talk about this date. I had a date, a blind date. Did he have to use promesson? I just imagine that what if I was you I would just

slather my vagina with promessing because I mean it's going to be over quick. Yeah, exactly. Why? Well, because you're so trained. Oh, honey. Yeah, my wife never heard. Let me tell you that she won't let me tell you what it was. This is the deal. So with good friend of mine that I've known for a long time from college said he's married and lives in LA. This is your date. He fixed me up with someone. He's like, I got a friend for you. And no, yeah, the marry.

I went on a very friend. It was so fun. I had a good friend from college. He's married. And we went out and I met him for a drink on Saturday night. And this guy that I knew from college, like I tried such a good guy. I'm like, OK, well, this guy's got to be great,

because I love my friend. So we went out. So we went out. We went out to the radar for you. Good radar. Yeah, so I get out there and meet on the date. And it was the most bizarre thing because I got there and granted he'd already had two drinks.

This is your blind date. This is my blind date. We met at a bar in West Hollywood. And it was like a swanky bar west restaurant. For those people outside of LA, that's the gay area. And it was, no, it was Hollywood west Hollywood. Okay. Yeah, no, it wasn't too gay.

It was a swanky bar restaurant what it was Hollywood West Hollywood. Okay. Yeah. No, it wasn't too gay. It was a swanky Bar restaurant Hit place and I'd actually heard about it. It was like a hit place. I'm wanting to try I can't even remember the name right now It'll probably won't be there in six months anyways. Go ahead. I know exactly I'm like what's the name because I blocked the whole night to be honest So I was at a friend's barbecue. Oh, I was at Anna David who was on the show a few weeks ago And I wasn't sure that I was gonna want to to go out with him after the bar with you,

but then it was over at like eight. And I thought, you know what? I should just, I got to start dating again. I got to just do it. I've been busy and I texted him. He said, yeah, let's meet up because he said he didn't have plans. He was home working, whatever. He was, he was at home working.

Yeah, that's what he said. I'm sorry. He wasn't home. Okay. He's like, yeah, I'm open tonight. So if you can meet me, he was very casual. I thought he was in high school and he was doing homework for a second. No, he was home doing work. Okay. And so I texted him. He's like, great. Let's meet up at this cool,

super swaying place that I've heard about. So I said, okay, great. I'll meet you there. And I get there and he'd already been waiting. He had a few drinks. You are always late. I don't want to always. You're always late. I was like 15 minutes late. But so. That's two drinks worth. Okay. So I won't, I won't, I won't bust them for that but I got there and we sit down He's actually is really good looking. He's cute and he's tall and Handsome I'm like oh few because it's that first moment. We're like okay at least we got that away at least he's attractive we sit down and He's like do you want a drink and I get a drink and he starts talking and

Talking and about just how he knows my friend who fixes up and about work and it was nervous. Okay, so here's the thing. I get it when guys talk too much. So I thought that I'm like, he's just really nervous, but entire hour and by and he did not ask me one question about myself. And his story is, we're in that interesting. It's like twofold though though because A, he failed.

B, obviously he doesn't listen to your show because he would know that's the worst possible thing to do. That's the number one thing not to do. So then I, if finally, he says, oh, we am so want to hear because obviously he knows what I do. So tell me about your shot. Did you start to get into this? I'm like, well, you know, I actually started as this podcast in my living room.

I just eight years ago, I was the first year podcasting was started. I and right, they just, I've got a friend who is a podcast. He just started talking to those with the only words that I had the entire night. And I got out of there at about an hour and seven minutes, which is really good for me. Because these days, I'd like stay longer, but I was actually tired. And I had to get up early Sunday. I said, listen, I just pulled the whole I got to get up early, which I kind of did. Not that early, but I said, I got to go, I've been this guy. And I can tell you,

it's one of two things. Hey, there's no possible way that you were like a five in a set. He either really liked you or was just really bored and wanted to talk about it. So, no, I think he, okay, so today I had, so then that was a date. And today I had lunch with the friend that fix us up. And I tell the same thing goes he was nervous. And I'm like, okay, I understand. So you think because he asked me out again. I said, well, should I go out with him again? But I just thought and he said a few things that were just a little offensive, like, about women.

I'm like, I got about the blacks. No, I was more about women. It was like, oh, here's another thing. He's divorced. He's like, I know you're not just talk about X's on the first date, so he knew that. However, he dominated the rest of the conversation that wasn't about how he knew my friend

with his crazy XY. So he broke two cards. To land with, I know I'm not supposed to talk about nothing about myself and my X, and then he continued to do both. Yeah, the whole time. And then I'm like, so that, but then my friend, exact two things. Because like when people are really excited about something,

they, they, they fuck up. They do the wrong thing. Well, this is what my friend says who goes Emily. And he said this to me today lunch. He says, what do you think? The guys going out with you, sexual, Emily, and they're intimidated. They got to be thinking, this woman, I got to perform.

And I, and I hear that a lot. One of the top questions I get asked is, are guys intimidated at you? And I never, okay, I guess they are because I've heard that from people, but I just feel like I'm so not intimidating. Like if you sit down with me, I'm nice and whatever, but I guess just the whole sex thing. And sex is what's on every guy's mind. And guys are weird with sex. But it's the first date, it wasn't like we were gonna see together anyway

I don't see what people on the first day. I have what I don't set it on the show and you know The point is that he's lazy the guys lazy maybe arrogant if What do you think he didn't listen to your show? He didn't do any homework? No none none and I prefer that guys don't listen to my show If I did him, but he should just know this by now He's like they're it, but if they know you have a show. Yeah, they should listen right exactly You prefer how I guess to get someone who has no idea you have a show and then they're not gonna That would be great. Well, yeah, and I think it'd be better if they don't know so my friend was like Well, how do you think and I'm just like God is this really gonna be my my thing that I'm just sex with Emily Now that we're guy date and that it's like that's all they're thinking like do you think?

No, you can meet plenty of guys that don't know your sex with Emily. You can just be Emily. No, but they Google they find out. No, you're just giving your first name. You give them a fake last name. Really? There's ways around it. But the most, but I realized now that I'm turning over a whole new leaf this week. I've had a whole rebirth. Because since I moved to LA about a year and a half ago now, I feel like I've just been like working my ass off. Things have been great. I've seen it. I've had a whole rebirth. Because since I moved to LA about a year and a half ago now, I feel like I've just been like working my ass off. Things have been great. I've witnessed it. That's all you do is work. And I'm tired. You got to press with your priest, sister.

Exactly. And something I haven't dated, but it's been whatever. And I'm like, you know, I actually am ready to have a life, have fun, go on vacation, date, and put myself out there. And mostly the guys that I've met have been people who I've gotten fixed up with. But what I realized, like, I never just see a guy at a bar, just like what a preach. I never out and think, oh, I should go talk to the guy. And I'm gonna start doing that.

I'm gonna start being proactive. And then report back. I will report back. I just wanted to share that with you. Let me circle back for one second. Because you talked about how you walked into the establishment and you saw him and you were very pleased to see that he was tall in hands. Yeah. What number would you say he was? I'd say he was about

God LA. I mean I don't know. I hate the number system. All right let's just say he was a state. I'm gonna say his name. How low could you go number wise? Oh I've gone low. How? But and then still actually like him just for the guys that are listening, like how low could you go as long as he says the right things is the right type of person has the right type of personality? How low could you go as a woman? I can. I can totally different as we know. No, guys are different. I think Anderson that is such a good question because I got to be honest with you, I have gone low. I could go for

five. I was hoping to say two. Two? Yeah. Two? I mean, I'm not all about looks. I personally, I've had ex-girlfriends because I used to stay in touch with my ex-girlfriends way too much to have boundaries. So you got married, right? The wife doesn't like it, so I've lost touch with most of them. But I had more than one that was very attractive, that they would end up eventually not right after me, but eventually be with very unattractive dudes, like really old overweight. I don't want to talk about the hair, but it wasn't there. But they saw something in them, and I witnessed it firsthand because I was really good friends

with these girls at this point. So you guys are great in the sense that you can- It's our mind. I mean our brain. And guys minds. I mean you guys can appreciate that. Exactly. And it's for me, and I was talking about this with the guy friend last night, I was out with him. He's really good looking guy actually, but he was so worried that he's like, I think women only want guys with you guys of all these things that I had. And this is a good lesson for the men.

Because here's like my really good looking friend, but he doesn't make a ton of money. And he's just like, I don't think that any girl, you know, because they want guy with money and more and I like it's not sure. Some do. Yes, there's gold diggers. It's like there's guides. You only want girls who are 12. Those, those sticks are pretty boring. Yeah, exactly. They are. I said, but most women, they just want you to, they want you to be interested. Be interesting when you go up and you approach them, talk to them about, you know, themselves, ask them questions, and just don't be like everyone else. And by that, I mean, just be a genuine, be yourself, be confident.

I mean, I don't think that women, because guys assume that women want all these things that guys want, which is mostly, I guess, looks, right? Yeah, and it's tangible things, yeah. Tansable, but women are like, if a guy, usually it's their personality. It's like, I never look across where I go. He's hot. I'm going to talk to him. It's the guy that I get into an interesting conversation with.

And I can't tell you how many guys I've dated that I didn't like at first. Or I liked, but I wasn't sure. And then I go out again. And I get in. I can learn. Or I become attracted them over time. And it's not an initial bam, but it's about the mind. Turn them on.

Intellectual. It's women can do that. As a guy about the mind. Turn them on, intellectual. It's women can do that. As a guy, you should be looking for a good time. That doesn't mean necessarily sex. If it leads to sex, great. But you should be looking to have a fun time with a girl. Like, if she was a dude,

and you could still have a good time with her outside, she's going to be a fun night. Right. Whether you have sex or not, whether it's on one night stand or you end up dating, you should be looking for a girl that you can actually hang out with. I hang with, not the boring chick who's hot that you're going to get tired of sleeping with because you've nothing to talk to about. I check the Getsit and everyone has their own, she gets it or he gets it. But guys can't, but guys aren't like women like they're not

gonna need to get a track for it. Because they're looking to avoid so often. They're looking to like bang and run and talk to their friends and use it as a bragging rights. Right, exactly. That's, that's the wrong approach. It is the wrong approach. I've been there. I've tried to do that, and it's not good. No, it's not good. And it makes you feel empty. It does make you feel empty. All the empty sex and empty stuff.

So just go after someone exactly that you want to friggin hang out with. You want to have a good time with. Have a life with. OK, so now that we've got to just have to give you an update on my dating life, which is it's going to take off right now. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm going to say it right now, we'll sad. You are why? You want me to be sad. No, no, you're dating life, which is, it's gonna take off right now. Sorry to say. Right now we'll sad. You are why, you want me to be sad? No, no, you're dating life. We'll sad. No, it's not. No, I've been dating, but not seriously dating. Like, it's been an afterthought.

If I've worked, comes up, I cancel the date. And so now I'm like, I'm, I'm reprialing the title. Or it should be the date though. The date should be work. And date is good material. Exactly, that's why date should be the work. So I look forward to upcoming episodes where you're making date the Exactly. That's why date should be the work. So I look forward to upcoming episodes where you're making date the work. That I'm going to date the work. Okay, so we

got some sex in the news. Uh, Ghana Ria have you heard about this? Super bug hits Australia. Australia has encountered the most drug-resistant strain of Ghana Ria, the country's ever seen, scary, the disease detected in essential European tourists who reportedly contracted it in Sydney is being called a sex super bug. So clinics in Australia and New Zealand are boosting their vigilance against gonorrhea and it's not the only area to suffer from resistant versions of the disease. It's also been in Japan in 2009 in California and Norway. gonorrhea has developed a reputation as a potentially anti-biotic, resistant drug, which is why this is a major health concern.

So I'm just telling everyone where your goddamn condoms be safe. Yeah, be careful. And I feel bad for the... Probably you have a couple dozen listeners right now who are on their way down to Australia to get their... Yeah, get their back on. Get their back on. Yeah, and you just room their day.

I know, I'm really sorry, so you should... But it's happening here too. It's happening everywhere. It's happening every lap on a Jimmy exactly and so if you have any kind of you know for men Even you can look all this up. I have a gunnery. That's that's Australian for condom exactly That's why I said I'm sorry. I get it. No, I actually knew that I suffered the most trillion once You got a real? Did not get gonna read that's yeah So check out all the sims for gonorrhea online.

I'm not going to bore you with them, but make sure you don't have it in news protection. Okay, celebrate your adultery with mistress, mistress greeting cards. Okay, this is kind of funny, but it's also kind of sad. It's like all these sites now that are for like married people to hook up. A new range of greeting cards have been launched for cheaters to give their mistresses and illicit lovers. The mistress car is ranged from vows to celebrate adult russ relationships, so it's unsurprising that it's the

brainchild of the people behind elicitincounters.com. So many of the cards are aimed at adult rurs celebrating their affair versory while others are designed for married people to send to someone they fancy. This is just bad people, but honestly, now there's greeting cards. Why would you send a greeting card? Don't you think you're going to get caught for cheating? Here's one. My marriage

lacks warmth, closeness and spice. We shouldn't be doing this. It's so naughty but nice. Roses are red, violets are blue. It's a good thing that my wife doesn't know that I'm screwing you. It's friggin stupid. Okay people, so don't cheat. Listen if you're gonna cheat, get divorced. Break up with your partner or we'll be cheating. Well then I want to be cheating then. I know people get the thrill out of cheating I know they always have to be in a relationship But if you're at the point where you're so far into your affair that you're buying this person a greeting card to celebrate your affair You've got bigger problems. I get that you're an angry person and you're trying to hurt a secretly hurt whoever you're

I know or you just but it's that thrill of cheating so you're right But honestly if there's problems in your relationship people get a thrill out of it are there people out there that get married so they can cheat really hurt whoever you are. I know. Or you just, but it's that thrill of cheating. So you're right. But honestly, if there's problems in your relationship, people get a throw out of it. Are there people out there that get married so they can cheat? They're probably are. No, well, maybe I bet there are. There's many people who get married knowing they're going to cheat, knowing that they'll always be cheater.

Yeah, because they're ship bags that have been doing the wrong thing they're entirely. But I don't think that people get married because they can cheat. I think that people get married knowing full well that they'll never be monogamous, but they're just going to do it. And they rationalize really well. Totally. Everyone rationalizes.

So if you're in a relationship where you want to see, you should work on your relationship or get out of your relationship. And if you actually love that person, it's just not fair to them. It's not fair, exactly. And you might give them a gunnery. Okay. So a match. If you have to try it.

No, it's at spreading. This is the point. Not just Japan, or it was also spotted in California, PS. You're lucky you're married. Okay, map shows which states are best to live in if you're just looking for casual sex. So Clover is an app that allows you to meet singles who have the same sexual intent as you. So it's like Tinder without the blind assumption that everyone just wants

have sex. Which everyone where I tell them I was on Tinder, they're like, did you just hug up? Is it all my married friends? Like, is it a hook up act? I guess it all the time. And Tinder is sort of a, I mean, you could hook up on it, but you don't have to. But this app is specifically you can say, you know, I just want to meet people. I want to hook up. I want a relationship. And so they also did this map that shows data about different cities and this is actually you can see this at on the sexualtemely.com blog so the number one best place for new friends you're doing air quotes I did air quotes is Chicago the best place for casual dating is Houston the best

place for long-term relationships New York and guess what the best place for hookups Yeah, hey pop quiz best place for gonorrhea Australia yeah, that's good when you're listening. I love it. Okay, let's get into some emails Wait, so LA is a casual look up I mean that's not fair to LA though, cuz I'm a native of LA. You're not I was born and raised here Okay, so you know I'm tired of this and fair to LA though, because I'm a native of LA, you're not. I was born and raised here. I've been in my entire life. And LA gets a bad rap because of all the, not you, M's, not you sex,

but so many people come from outside of LA to live the dream or I'm gonna make it. And my grandma thought that I was a really good entertainer or my girlfriend and all my family members think I'm a douchebag because I am. So I'm gonna go to LA where I'm gonna lie to everyone. So all the douche fox come to LA. Okay. So I'm gonna go to LA where I'm gonna lie to everyone. So all the douchefcks come to LA. Okay.

A lot, so I'd say about 20% of the people that live in LA are people trying, young people trying to escape their douchey past. And become bigger famous douchebags out here. Right. Now that's true. And those are the ones that are just working out with each other. And is it because?

So the natives are being cool. So the natives are being cool. But do you think it's because then they're all trying to sleep their way to the top? Or the middle? That or I mean, I don't want to like talk about a large group of people and they're more like you just did. Like you just did?

Okay. And any more depth than I just did. I mean, I think that they think I'm out here. It's like, you know, anything goes and not that they're sleeping their way to the top unless they're girls. Right. Maybe that maybe some ladies do that. I don't know, I'm not gonna say that.

I never did. I should have, I would have, I would have longed. You're pretty high in the bottom. I'm assuming you sucked a couple tests. I mean, no, I actually never slept a dick, slept a dick, sucked a penis. Of course you did, I'm joking. No, I'm trying to think of it.

No, you're talented, very smart woman. Thank you, but I could have. You see, you can, you can, you can spot him out on TV. It's like she has no business on being on TV or being in that movie. She obviously sucked a bunch of text right Yeah, no, that's true. That's true. You hear that all the time But also in LA everyone's always saying they're looking for the bigger better deals So that's why maybe they're sleeping around I don't know how they got this but nowadays little lawyers out there looking for cash You think maybe

They could be putting that position and then turn around and call like Larry at Barker and so I'm in own the studio So maybe that's going away. Oh, right. Okay, man It is I'm hoping to but um, that's right But I didn't think long-term relationships in New York either but anyway check out the survey on my site and it's kind of cool Clover I don't know about I've been checked out the app yet But if you're worried about Tinder because people get kind of turned off by Tinder too they get like this could be failing So check it out. All right emails, I love hearing from you, thank you for emailing me at feedback at sexwithemle.com and I love hearing from you, but

before we get into the emails which are pretty friggin interesting, I'm going to read a word here from our sponsors and I appreciate everyone listening to the show and as part of my sponsors. So as you know, I am, I've spent so much time and money. I've talked to you about No No Pro. I love electronic objects. I'm usually obsessed with my vibrator, but I am now obsessed with my No No Pro. Is that next? I have to say. I have to say. My vibrator that removes hair. Oh, that's not a bad idea. No, that would hurt. I'm going to get myself a bikini wax

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Oh good vibes. Okay so GV Emily. GV Emily 20 for 20% off. love it. What's a toy? What's GV? Oh, good vibes. Oh, good vibes. Okay, so GV Emily. GV Emily 20 for 20% off. Got it. And they've just, again, everything on their site is like, the things that I picked out in my store there, it's like an Emily store. You like top five? Yeah, I have my top five right now.

Other little pictures of your face, like being happier and happier as it gets closer than everyone else. That's a really good, that would be a good system. I like it. I like it. I'm an excre. That's a really good, that would be a good system. It's a little gimmicky. I like it. I'm excreaming out and not be like sleeping. I even. What else a young male looking for porn to things

to like, you know, to tantalize form, the penthouse form. I used to get my hands on that every now and then. I'm sure. I would read the, there's not much pictures, but like I'd read the stories and whatnot. And at the back of the book, there'd be like a movie review. So the poems that came out and they would have a rating system of erections like the number of erections. So like this is a one erection movie, not very good. And then the best score is like five erections. And they have the little pictures

of the boners. That is so funny. I didn't know that whether they were either a wreck or not a wrecked. Well, no, that thumbs up thumbs up. They would have been better because they might have gotten sued by e-brewed. So they would have like four or five stars, four or five erections. So like a bad movie, one erection. And a good movie. That's hilarious. Yeah.

God, so you like movies, did you start watching those movies if you haven't? Is that how you got into a film? You know, when you're, no, it's not. When you're a kid, you, whatever you, if you see like a rock with something that looks like a boom on it, you might take it home. Oh, because Anderson, okay, got it.

Because Anderson does have an awesome podcast, the film vault, if you care about film at all. It's true. And you gotta take it home. Oh, because Anderson, okay, got it. Because Anderson does have an awesome podcast, the film vault. If you care about film at all. It's true. And you got to check it out. We just said top five mentally challenged characters because I used to work with mentally challenged. So it was you did. Yeah, there was no, we weren't poking fun at all. We were doing top five mentally challenged performances. And it was a good. What were they? Why not? Beautiful. No, beautiful mind to not make the list nor mention because movie was soft. Why is it? It's in a really good input. You didn't like it

Tell me one oh they have to listen to your podcast or not Okay, I love it your podcast is it's good because then you don't have to waste time at bad movies right right? We explain to We get people heads up on what good movies to check out see because I can't see a bad movie if I see a bad I do tons of reviews like if I see because I never see movies So if I do it's got to be for gunstaller. We need to go see a movie. Can we go to a movie? Let's go see a movie Will you talk though? I could see you talking to her movies. Well, there is more in your system Just said yes you do talk just one time I talked menist what movie? It was the worst movie all times Listen menist one time took me okay, it was that okay. I can't remember the name of it

Lauren do you remember it was the worst person movies ever met no I do not talk movies it literally got like no star one movie that's not right now one Not one single move. I don't I used to I used to be a filmmaker and then I started doing the Best action movies that was back in the olden days when you get it like bang in the field It was like Seth Rogan, but it was like they were in the, they were olden days. It was like Roman times and it was... Roman times. It was Seth Rogan.

No, it was a really bad movie. Was it Western times? No, it was... 100 million ways to die in the West? No, it was just like a horror. I can't remember. It was a really bad movie. It wasn't maybe it wasn't Seth Rogan.

Dude, don't have me talk about movies. So Menace took me as a screening and I did talk during the movie. Not to him, but to someone next to me. You're Highness week your highness left he got mad at me. Was it your highness? No, and I won't talk in the movie Was it James Franco in it? No, I can't remember no, it was like gladiator though But it was it was like comedy it was a comedy and it wasn't your highness. No, it was like Dude, I don't remember it was like four years ago and it was Four years ago. Oh four years ago. Thank God. You don't look nearly that old No, it wasn't 40 and I don't talk won't talk because I got crap for that and it was only because of 10 and everyone walked out

I'm upset. No, I won't you can we go to movie what movie was I must know everyone must know I don't know movie. I want to go to What movie was I must know everyone must know I don't know a movie I want to go to I'm glad the haters was a lot of gay sex Text men is an ask of Lauren. I don't remember But that's part of my whole new plan. I'm gonna date anime go to more movies and do the things that I used to enjoy before I Started trying to make a living doing this. I hope this happens. It'll be really good for it It'd be really good for me. Okay, Let's get on to some emails from the people. Okay. Dear Emily, I'm a huge fan your show. I listen to your podcast every week. I love all your advice, special guests,

and sex tips. My boyfriend and I have been together for over five months, and I still have not had an orgasm. We've had multiple honest conversations about what we want in the bedroom, but I still feel like he doesn't listen. For instance, I have told him I need a lot more for a play before we have sex. Yet, every time we do, it's never enough. We've tried mutual masturbation, so we can learn what I like, as well as new positions, but nothing seems to work. I don't want to nag to him all the time, but honestly, how can I make him listen to me when I say I need more for a play?

Any advice or tips you may have would be greatly appreciated. Thank you Liz. Okay, Liz, my question for you is the problem that he isn't trying during for a play or that he isn't succeeding? And I also want to know have you been able to orgasm alone or with another partner? Because on average, as I always say, it takes women, requires women require not a suggesting guys for play, not a suggestion a requirement the twenty thirty minutes of four-play so pre-sex to get them revved up and ready for sex so if

what he's doing isn't enough you could say to a listen babe I just want to take in a course off the table let's just not have sex let's just play around and do these other things how do you think that would fly Anderson with someone if you took you off the table you're you're Googling the movie right now. I'm obsessed with the movie. I'm sorry, I'm doing it. It's all I'm doing. He's not listening.

It's fine. I can't find it after, okay? No, I'm listening. It was something. It's something. I'm looking for Seth Rogan and. He sets it through. It was all those famous people that were,

oh, Russell Brand. Russell Brand, wasn't it? I think so. Okay. Dude, okay, sorry. I'm back to Liz. You're talking more about foreplay and whatnot. And some of the guys don't realize it at all. No, exactly. Talk is foreplay. Talk is foreplay. Just to listen to about her day and about that bitch that she shares a cubicle with

and going, I understand. And that's and not trying to solve the problem. That's a huge. Don't. Don't. She'll get very turned on by that. Exactly. Exactly. All these things, it's that foreplay doesn't just start solve the problem. That's the end. You'll get very turned on by that. Exactly, exactly. All these things, it's that foreplay doesn't just start in the moment. It could start after your last orgasm. That's what I always say.

So I mean, he might need to be doing things throughout the week that can turn you on. If the problem is that he's rushing and skimping on the floor bay because he wants his turn, I mean, then this is something that you need to talk about. If he's really trying everything that you're saying and it's still not working, another option would be you can introduce a sex toy

into the bedroom if that's what you know is gonna get you there because they target specific areas that he might have a problem finding. A nice, literal vibrator like the Form Two, we were just talking in the office that Lauren got it when she first started my assistant, when she first started working for me like four years ago as an intern and she's still her favorite.

I love the form to It's a gymmy jane form to gymmy jane and it's like a handheld rechargeable and it looks like just has like the rabbit ears And it's a really good form to your your inner it can yeah, you can form it You can make the little things go on your clitoris and keep in mind for you though Also, yeah, do you want one? Oh your wife? I'm a dude. Hey you before your wife. Yeah, I'm lazy. Why not? Okay? No, I love you give me a couple that I actually they're they're really really beautiful pieces of machinery They're like the porches of I don't know the names because I don't look at brands But whatever you gave me works. I think it might have been the Mimi love the Mimi get them to the Greek

Get yes. Was that it? Yes. That's not a Roman movie was a Greek they're Getting him to the Greek theater in modern times and there's some very No, it wasn't maybe that wasn't it. No, that wasn't it. That wasn't it. I'm gonna continue to look keep looking It wasn't the Greek. It wasn't getting that wasn't it I'm seeing Anderson you're getting I'm already I was like three four it was like three, four years ago. Were you using the Mamie form while watching this movie? Yes.

OK, keep in mind, also, the problem could be mental. So when you are fixated on reaching the orgasm and you already think he's not going to please you, you can psych yourself out and you end up missing the entire experience completely. So stop concentrating so hard on the destination and enjoy the journey. And it sounds like you've told them, but also guys don't like to be just

told I need this. I need more for play. Just like you don't want to say I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow, I want to blow mutual masturbation but did you take his hand and place it where it needs to be? Sounds like that might be what you need to do. He's still looking it up. It wasn't getting in. No, I'm done. I can't. If you said it was getting in the gut. Okay. I know it might not be right but maybe a glass of wine too. You gotta let yourself go. It's that great. So in your head there. So in her head and she's upset with him that he's not pleasing her and I'm just wanting if anyone's ever pleased you before and in the fact that nothing is working, I mean it's just... And if you're into it and you're authentic, he will know, especially if he knows you,

and he will like it and he will respond. Exactly. Exactly. He sounds like he's trying to please, so... And she shouldn't try and prove that she likes it. She shouldn't try to prove it to us. She's no, because there's nothing worse than like, oh yeah baby, that's right. Well I think she's telling him that she doesn't like it But don't be mean about it either because then he's never gonna want to try again So you just it's difficult because if you start yelling and barking orders at the wrong time guys are gonna feel discouraged and it's a whole thing

It's a delicate area. It's very delicate Okay, here we go another email from the people from the people um, okay I just have so many here that I am going to read my wife's a tease. My wife and I have been married for six years. We have a two-year-old and have a great marriage so far but our sex life is lacking bad. Once every seven to ten days it's normal for us. Nothing outrageous, just vanilla sex. I get little sexy texts here and there. We flirt all day but at night when I think it's about time, she says she's tired, it doesn't feel good.

I never guilt her for it. She asked for more romance and I've done that. I love to please her orally. I beg her for oral, but I never receive it. If I do, it's maybe a minute long. We've talked about toys, but it's never gone past talk. I don't know what to do. I feel it's easier to take care of myself

than risk being built up than let down. Jeremiah. I'm going to what to do. I feel it's easier to take care of myself than risk being built up then let down Jeremiah What? Well vanilla sex and wow another guy is trying to get his wife to sleep with them It's like the phenomena like I was telling more and today I really just want to help every single person because it's got to be some kind of solution for people Couple this is this is like I get this every day. Okay guy. How do I get my wife to sleep with me? You think it would be a little easier, but listen, you have to do your matter, be realistic. You have a two-year-old child. She could be exhausted. And a lot of times she's tired.

She might not be feeling great about her body. You know, self-esteem is one of the biggest killers of women's sex drive. And so I'm wondering if you guys got away together at all? Have you taken leave in a night away without the kids or you guys could reconnect? Because it's a lot. She'd come up from work, she's exhausted, if you guys go away together and just need some time to reconnect. And if you're begging for oral sex, you're not going to get it. If you're like, why aren't you getting a little job, why aren't you getting a little job? Guess what? You're not going to get a blow job. So it sounds like your approach might be off and you're making her feel bad about not wanting

to have sex and that you're feeling beaten down because you don't want more rejection. So I feel like you need to have a heartfelt talk with her that is outside of the bedroom, which is always the best time to have the sex talks. And next time you're talking fun, hang it out. Tell her how you're feeling without blame, like real feelings because no one can argue when you say like, I'm feeling this, I'm feeling that. And you say sex is really important to me. And I want to know what we could do together

to make sure that we're both getting pleased and we're getting our needs met. And you gotta have a talk with her because I'm curious, and also if she's taking any medications or if she's, you know, if she's seen her doctorly, she could also have low libido. I mean, there could be a lot of things going on here.

And it sounds like you really are trying, you said you talked about toys, but when people say they try, sometimes it's like once, like you had a conversation with her and passing, but they didn't really get into it. So that's why I'm saying you got to like, sit down, heartfelt talk, these are some of the things I love you, I find you beautiful, I want to have, you know, more saxophone, what can we do that's pleasurable for both of us? Because I think that you think you've talked about it, but I don't feel like you really, really gone there.

And I don't think that a lot of ladies really understand how important it is. Blowjups? Just sax in general. I know. I don't think that they do. I don't feel like you really really gone there. And I don't think that a lot of ladies really understand how important it is. Blow jobs. Just sex in general. I know. I don't think that they do. I don't think they get it, especially once, you know, you're down the road and you've been married for a while. I don't.

Yeah, we might like to take it or leave it. Right. And they see their sex life and see there are husbands sex life through their own eyes. Right. And they need a little more sometimes, because if you don't have sex for a while, the longer you go without it, you kind of can kind of imagine going longer and longer without it.

What about threats? You think she'll respond to threats? Yeah. I think she'd say it's time for some chocolate sex. I'm going to bring in like a third party. I don't think that would move. No, I don't think so. I think that she's probably just completely disconnected from sex right now because she's

been raising a child and whatever else is going on, they've gotten, they have, they're not connected anymore, they've gotten disconnected and they need to talk about it and you need to do something because it's not going to heal itself, it's just going to get worse. But it has to be a real conversation. How much worth our time like? We've got another five minutes we can go. Let's do it. You got another good email from the people.

I do got it. I know, I love the people. I love my people. Okay, I've got this here. Okay. Hey Emily I love your show and I love the Kaggle Camp app. I use it every day on my way home from work. She does her Kegels Well, she's driving. It's a girl. Yeah, and the Kegels are from men and for women. I need your advice concerning the Clitters. My boyfriend is very good at finding my Clitters with his tongue in hands, but whenever he's touching it, the pressure is too much and it hurts. I've told him to be gentle, slow down, etc. but it seems like no matter what we try, it's always too rough for me to have an orgasm. I'm able to get off my cell phone masturbating, but I can't get off of his hands or his mouth.

The sex is great and we're able to communicate with each other. He's given me plenty of g-spot orgasms, but I want him to be able to get me off this way. Any tips I can give my man for touching my clitoris so it doesn't hurt. You're the best much love from Austin, Texas, Caitlin Maybe a sausage fingers Like a little stuffy fingers. No, he's nothing to do with the fingers No, she says like everything works except for I know which is so interesting because so many women Of the opposite problem. They want a juice but orgasm. So I think the first thing Exactly, I'm like you bet you the juice but orgasms all the time

Listen because he, I have to say that maybe he's touching you too roughly. I mean, a lot of guys are just too rough down there and he should go five times lighter and softer than he actually thinks, but also he might need, he got to add some lube. Lube is so underrated. And I think that even if you're already wet, you might not be wet enough. And so if you add a little bit lubricant when he's touching you very, very, very softly, that might kind of help. And also if he's going right for your clitoris,

someone just can't handle the pressure, like it's just too much for them and it's too much tension and it hurts. You're not alone. So it just might not, you might not be able to take it. But if he caresses around your clitoris and doesn't go right for it, that might also feel better and turn you on.

And also you, what was I say, oh yeah, so if you also can show him, if you've ever done mutual masturbation, did you show him exactly how you do touch yourself? Because if you can mimic that, or you could place your hand over his hand and show him how you want to be touched, then you can do it. But there's also just some women that you know how to touch

yourself, and they just can't have a little stimulation. A lot of these women are very orgasmic as well, and it hurts, but there's also just some women that you know how to touch yourself and they just can't have a clitoral stimulation. A lot of these women are very orgasmic as well, and it hurts, and it's painful. So if you try all these things and you go as a little softer and you try lubricant and it's still painful, just might not be how you're going to go there with. What about this, like some tapping on the head or the hand or any tapping on the borders? Or like tapping, like maybe right is like a more left is like less, you know, like a gas and break. Gas and break. I don't think so. Why not? Tapping on his head or is like less, like a gas and break, gas and break.

I don't think so. Why not? Tapping on his head or is... Yeah, tapping, letting him know, you're doing too hard. I think that she should take his finger and place it as exactly how she wants it to be placed. But it might just be that it's because she can touch herself,

but he can't, and his mouth hurts her too. No, she likes the mouth, I thought. No, she said the mouth hurts too. So it's everything. She has pain, but she has a lot of orgasms, so just, but she might just not be the man who has a construction worker a bit. I mean, if you're used to vibrate, you can do a vibrator with them. He's a construction worker. His hands are rough. Make sure you wash his hands, wear gloves, put on some surgical gloves and some lube. But honestly, if he uses lube and he uses them much, much softer touch

and you guide him, I believe that work, especially because you're able to do it on your own. And you can have two spot orgasms. I feel like you can get a handle on this if you really really pay attention to what you need and you're able to show him That's it. That's how we got time for Thank you Anderson I like that. You liked it. Is it good for you? I? Can you please come back and tell me what movie it was next show? I promise you'll get emails you'll get texts you'll get tweets We'll tweet since I'll tell you I just hate that that whole thing happened. And I won't

talk to anyone. I loved it. Okay, everyone. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. I do. Okay, everyone. Hope you enjoyed this episode of Sex with Emily and as you know, it is really hot outside. It's hot this summer. Always in the summer, especially in LA. It's sweaty. So have you ever felt like you're not so fresh? Maybe you think I shower this morning? I'll be fresh. I'll be ready for my date. But guess what? Hygiene, number one complaint from men and women about the partners. Down under comfort is a cream to powder formula that keeps you fresh and dry all day, which means you'll always be ready for action. And it's from

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It lasts a long time. Drew's asking what? I'm telling you, down on a comfort Drew. I gave you some, Drew. For the gym, chafing, you'd love it. Helps you, you love it. Drew says that he wants some for his wife's purse, because that's where his balls are.

Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to the show. Perhaps play a little game called just a tip. Just for a second, just as you have feels. Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm Podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in iTunes. I'm Emily Morris, host of the Art of Charm Podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in iTunes. I'm Emily Morris, host of the Sex with Emily Podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and it's sexwithemily.com.

And this is just the tip. So a lot of times us guys, you know, we want to get the job done, we want to knock it out of the park, and we hear, all right, slow it down, slow it down, take things down a notch, but what does that actually mean? Oh God, it means, you know, with the second you walk in the door and you come in with a raging boner and we're sitting on our laptop, finishing work and you think that we want to sex just because you're turned on? More not. So we need for play. You actually have to turn us on. I say, I say to guys all the time, do everything three times slower than you think, touch her three times softer than you normally would, and

just slow everything down because women's bodies physiologically, they need more time than the average mandate going. So we can't go from zero to six. You walked in the door, thought we looked hot, we're still here finishing our order on Amazon. So everything that you do slowed down the way you touch her, the foreplay again, don't just go right, I hate them guys, they go right to your pants and your pants off. I mean sometimes the quickies okay, but when they want to be, they want to be kissed, they want to be caressed, they want to be turned on they want to be a rob. So

slow everything down you're going to get laid eventually but you know you can wait another 10-15-20 minutes and have some love for play. I like it so a guy can go from zero to 60 in a few seconds and women are just kidding. You don't even know that you walked on the room right? We even do registered it. That's romantic. If you guys want to learn more from the Art of Charm about dating, relationships, and even networking for business, visit us at theartofcharmpodcast.com or check us out on iTunes and follow me on Twitter at the Art of Charm. And check out the second of the Emily podcast at sexwithanley.com and an iTunes if you want to have the best sex of your life that is Also, follow me on Twitter at sexwithemily.

Okay, so Anderson, I'm getting a new car and in the past, I have to tell you that I, when I got my last car, I was actually dating this guy, I didn't like him very much, but I kept sleeping with him just so he would come out of the car. No, I needed a new car and I'm not great at car shopping. I'm a chick, they want to take advantage of me. I don't need time. Oh, they see you guys coming.

I know, so I said to him, I was like, hey, would you take me car shopping and he was like, really into it because you want to date me You want to prove that he's a man exactly so did he get you a good deal No, he got me a really bad deal. You thought it was a good deal of time I thought it was a good deal everyone thinks it's a good deal at one point or another when the guys going back And he's like yeah, we talked to my manager and see if that's doable and then they come back for like it's doable But you have no idea you know

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