Sex With Emily - Land of the Free, Home of the Sexy

Episode Date: July 5, 2017

When it comes to sex and dating, we all want to be free. Free to choose who to love and how to love them. On today’s show, Emily and Menace are giving you the deets you need to achieve maximum sexual freedom! Do you last too long during sex? How do you get your boyfriend to be more sexually adventurous? What’s the deal with cock rings? Emily and Menace help listeners with these bedroom blunders and more, as well as going over some of Pornhub’s latest trends. Tune in to find out! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Intensity, Adam&Eve, WeVibe, Fleshlight Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show I'm helping you navigate your sex, dating, and relationship questions. Topics include what people's porn habits say about our sex habits, how to get adventure some outside the bedroom, and how to get over that awkward phase so you can actually date, and what's up with the listeners low libido and why do people love penis rings? All this and more, thanks for listening. You hear, you just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything between for more information, go to sexwithemily.com and subscribe to the podcast. Subscribe to our newsletter. You'll enjoy it. It makes it easy, right, men? Right. Subscribe. We get two shows a week. You get them in your inbox. You're happy or however you listen to podcast. I feel like you're like slow and whispery. You're trying to be extra sexy for everybody

on slow down. Feel your like slow whispery you're trying to be extra sexy For everybody on No, but I'm excited to be here as I always say that I'm very excited to see you and do a podcast with you It's always super fun. I'm sorry. I can't make it here more often No, do you got it? But I know you do other shows that I'm sure I'm sure they're amazing without me Well, you don't need me like I gotta see but I like I like it in my life I need the call me down and keep you balanced. That's why't need me. I gotta see. But I like you in my life. I need to calm me down and keep you balanced. That's why I need me here. That's why I show up.

I know. Everyone's well, but I do think all the listeners that listen to the podcast and that I meet here and there and say that they love the show. So thank you for that. Thank you for that. It's great. There happened some good shows. I do one with Hannah Cranston, turns on and turns off. She's a millennial. She's got it. She's a millennial. She's gonna

a show that's geared towards millennials called think I want to say Shark Take Think Take on YouTube. Okay, sweet. Yeah, she's smarty-hoddy. That was a really fun show. We talked about Stuff and things you should check it out. I don't remember. Check that out. Jason Ellis was here. Oh, he's he's amazing. He's crazy That's a very open guy He's so open. He's like I get blow job. You know he gets yeah blow job so much. He got he's bisexual from guys And he's married and I'm like I might just give you blow job like I was like you're so hot We had this little tension in here like sexual chemistry. Yeah, he's a really good show He's a very interesting guy. You know how I know him. How? Because in high school, I was really, really into skateboarding. So he's a pro skater. So I knew everything about him. I actually used to have a pair of shoes that was named after Jason Ellis. Really? Yeah. You gotta check him out. You should have come back. I know. Thanks for following me.

But it's cool. No, I'm sure that was amazing. So you don't need me here. He would have torn me apart. He's crazy. I'm happy you didn't call me. Yeah, sure so good so check that out at sex at Emily dot com, right? Yeah, I get on the Google search Jason Jason Ellis And sex Emily and I'm sure you'll find it So what the hell is going on with the show today? Today Mm-hmm. We're gonna be doing me today this mama. Yeah, yeah, we're going to be doing, I mean, today this mama will talk about, we're going to be doing some text on the news, we've got some emails from the people, we can also,

people can have text us their questions they can call in, remember we did a color show in your last time. So you guys, all you got to do is do your emails, just like check that box as you'd like to be called, it's super easy, we call you, it's a good time. So we're going to be doing that, it's summer. I have to say, I knew you're not supposed to do that, and I'm just talking. Whenever you're not supposed to mention when you're doing something that's gonna fix that,

like, hey, Matt, I can't hear, but I like to talk about it because it's sort of nostalgic that Matt's always fixes my mic over the years. And I think I've gotten a lot better at it. You have. Sometimes it falls into some tricks. My technique.

My technique is on it. You think with all my oral, mad oral skills, You have sometimes it falls in my technique. What? My technique, I want it. You think with all my oral mad oral skills, I would be really good at the mic. Yes. But it's working, totally. Oh, there was something that I want to bring up. So there's this famous radio show, but I'm sure you've never heard of them, because it's not in your format.

I don't know how often you listen to hip-hop music. But there's a morning show called The Breakfast Club and they're on like, I don't know, 70 radio stations. They're on in 140 countries and they just had the comedian Kevin Harton, right? So Kevin Hart was talking about one of his old friends staying at his house you know what he was in new york city and he said that at the time he went with his ex and they were like around town all i can't stop and his buddy who was staying at the house he he stayed back and he was just hanging there so he ended up going back home early

and he found his friend masturbating in front of a laptop at his house that happens i mean they like joked about that. But what's the like, I wanna ask you like, I don't know, maybe you're probably more open to it than the norm, but what's the etiquette of masturbating at people's houses? It happens. I'm sure like, yeah, you can masturbate

at other people's houses, but like, busing out a laptop and looking at porn is a little much. Well, that's how guys do it now. So I feel like if you're inviting somebody, uh-huh. If you are inviting somebody to stay at your house, a man, I even a woman, but let's just say a man, just assume they're gonna masturbate and win one of the beds in your house or on the couch. It's gonna happen. I'm such a pretty cute. I even if I'm with a partner, I want to do that. Even if I, I want to have,

if I'm saying at somebody's house, I wouldn't even have sex with my partner at somebody's house. Really? Where are they not there? You and if they're not there. You just feel bad about the sheep stuff. I feel bad about it. Yeah, I know my coworkers, we've had this discussion before

and they're like, they don't care. They're all about it. But I'm like, so like, I don't know. I think it's weird. I think it's disrespectful. I don't know. It's in my head. I feel like's disrespectful. I don't know, it's in my head. I feel like it's like saying like, why'd you shower at my house? Like, I can't leave your stay at the end, you used my shower.

I feel like- Really? Just that's like- Yeah, I can't. Nothing. You want to be clean, you want to be neat, clean, clean, clean. Yeah. You want to be clean, neat, leave the space as you found it.

Like when you're camping. Yeah. You don't want to do anything wrong, but I think that's- But it's so cool. Yeah, I think it's fine, but I would think that you'd be a little bit extra careful. Like Kevin Hart, like his friend should have been like, oh, he gets home now about now, or maybe he don't know what he's getting.

He'll be wanting me more to screech. I think discretion is important when it comes to masturbation in someone else, but you know if you're staying with them, they're going to be having sex. Give me your give the sheets so you don't care about. Okay. You don't even go into the bathroom or out. Like bathroom around like you've got more stuff going on. Oh, no It's not like deep-rooted issues. It's just like it's just more weird about that stuff. I just don't know It's just me. I'm just happy people are masturbating. Do you know this?

I don't know if I share the story, but I had a friend who was staying with some other friends in New Jersey and he's gay and he was staying with the family, so they have kids and all this stuff. So the family takes off and he decides, this is effing terrible. I gave him a lot of shit for this. He decides to get on Grindr and invite somebody over and like hook up in their pool house, right? So he's like, hooking up with it, but he doesn't realize that the family got home early, right? Here's another situation where people get home early. And so they're looking out their back window and they see some random guy

leaving out of their pool house. So they like freak out and they like start screaming out of the guy. And the guy just runs off. It takes off. That's so bad. See, that's just pretty bad, right? That's pretty bad, right? Yeah, that's just just that.

That's pretty bad. Oh, that is bad. And this is a reminder, I don't know if I ever told you this, but this might have been on the show because I think we've talked about this before. Yeah. And maybe that was that story, but apparently on some show we did.

I was telling you that I had sex at my mom's house. I went home to visit my mom Michigan, and I had sex at the porch. Oh, you did? Yeah, we like, I don't remember that. I was like years ago, I was dating some, I mean, maybe five years ago. I was dating guy Michigan that happened to be from Michigan,

when I was still living in LA, but I went home to visit for like Thanksgiving. And I was like, oh, I had sex on the porch. And my mom didn't know, it's just so funny at this age to be having sex at home. We like went, and then my mom calls me. And she's like, my friends, listen, my mom's like 70% of my friends listen to your show. And you had sex on, she said to me,

oh, I'm listening to her show right now. And then she stopped me. I was like, oh, nothing. And she's like, she just said she had sex on your porch. And I was like, mom, I'm like, which porch? Cause we on your porch and I was like mom's like which porch cuz we have front porch and back porch and like the back porch like who would you have sex with in chief for these are the things you never know we're gonna hear and I'm like mom you were sleeping I don't know if it's full of intercourse I might just give it a

blow job now I didn't say that but yeah so my didn't care but she thought it was like shocking that I say this was the back porch of the front porch but her father listening see never know who's gonna listen to my mom's friends But she thought it was like shocking that I say Oh, this was the back porch on the front porch, but her Fancho listening See I'm always gonna listen I'm not I'm mom's friends listen to my show and they follow me on social media And you kind of learn the whole This is the whole radio DJ trick

You say when your parents call you on some stuff like that He was like, ah, mom, that's just for the radio That didn't really happen I did that with the guy And the conversation is over That's true, that's true, that's just for the radio. That's all I say. I do that with the guy. And the conversation is over. That's true. That's true. That's a good way of doing it. But I can imagine I'll be mortified. See, this is me again. I can't have those type of discussions. I don't even swear in front of my mother. I know. Well, you have a different relationship than my mom. Definitely a different relationship than my mom. But

still, it was funny. And yes, so I guess I did that. It's my parents. So I was a lot to do that. But I thought you'd appreciate that. That's what I tell people. When I tell them that they should not listen to, not should. But if I'm dating someone, you know, it's often awkward if they're listening to the show. And I just, I'm like, can you just check it with me? Like, if you feel weird about something that I've said or made you feel comfortable, let's check it. Usually it's like, oh, that's, you know, I'll be like, that wasn't you. That was another guy. Or people should just, if you got issues with it and you decide to listen, just let me

know. And I can clear it off of you. So overall rule though, you shouldn't be inviting random people over to a house that you are staying at. Wait a minute. Just like, you can wait. You can wait. You can go find a hotel.

And also though, if you are having people at your house, be prepared that they might masturbate in your sheets. Okay, good chat there, Mattis. We're going to get into the sex in the news that I think that's especially for you. Good. Okay, so porn hub data offers some naked truths about our sexual behavior trends. All right. You know what's so interesting? I love that. I love that. It's like true numbers, you know? That's what data is. It's so true. And here's what's so interesting about it

Is that porn observes 75 million visitors every day making it the 40th most traffic Website in the world. So it has really substantial data and they're saying it's like the modern day Kinsey for sex reporting. Kinsey, you know, did back in the 60s, but it's like the modern day Kinsey for sex reporting. Kinsey did back in the 60s, but it's like, wow, this is a real time. What's happening? So, obviously, technologies had a major impact with porn habit. All this stuff, porn trends can reveal what's happening in current affairs, trends in society.

Well, that's surprising to begin with. It does make sense. That's how we get off reflects what we think. So relying on actual porn behaviors and popular search terms, they report cars an accurate example of where we are today with porn. Trump's impact on traffic and the rise of yoga porn. That's what it happens. So ready without further ado, here we go.

75% of people are now watching porn on their phones compared to 25% watching on laptops. Except for your friend who was the guy who's visiting Kevin Hart I mean. Yeah, no, this was years ago. So I'm sure at this time it would be a phone. So people really aren't doing on the phones. I guess that makes sense. I mean, technology has gone so good with video streaming

on the phone. So like, yeah, it's easy access. It's in your pocket versus, you know, pulling out a laptop and typing in a website, you know. It just seems messy too. Yeah, but your phone right there. You got your hand phone on one hand, or do you prop it up?

What did they do? What did they do? I'm sure they just hold in their hand. Yeah, but then you're using one hand. Okay, that's all you need is one hand, do you forget? I don't know. I guess so, you don't use one hand to like run the balls, but no.

I couldn't do that with one I mean I could have always desperate with one hand interesting, but that makes sense I don't want to ever use the guy's phone So people don't clean their phones enough. No, no Okay, the most popular category among female viewers still lesbian since the beginning of tinsense all the porn that we've seen all the point We still like guys are girls. No, no, it's not that guys are gross It's that I think that a lot of women have, you know, a try that it just turns them on,

watching too many of sex and doesn't mean necessarily that you want to have sex with the woman, but you might want to fantasize about it and turn you on, but still, that stays the same. What men like, not so much, that changes a lot. In 2015, there was a monumental surge in demand for yoga porn, after a yoga themedthemed orgy video was released on PornHub.

What does that mean? Like a bunch of... I think that happens anyway. People in yoga have sex with each other anyway. Guys talk about this, like, how good women look in yoga pants. Women are just wearing it now a lot of the times, not even working out. It's just a fashion thing and it hugs on the body. So, they love it. Like, Fab Lettics is huge now, right?

Yes, they bought some more stuff. They even have like brick and mortar stores now. They do? Yes, I saw one just recently. That's interesting. Like, it's funny because I was just having a discussion with somebody just recently where there's this company out there It's like looking to get the word out about having work out

Looking close, but it's not even used for working out Tennis shoes like the gym shoes or whatever trend what do you call it tennis shoes gym shoes? Yeah, what do you call it running shoes? Like I read one I they were called gym shoes in Michigan growing up. Yeah, it's called like, Athleteisure. Okay. Have you heard of like, Athleteisure trend? There's like, Kendall Jenner. Yeah, Athleteisure is, I mean, basically people are just wearing workout clothes

and, I'm, when I look great in it. So I'm sure the guys are like searching it out. I thought, see, I wear my leggings, I feel like it's kind of lazy. But, if, yeah, like, I actually, but then a few guys, I pass this by like, oh no, no, it's really hot and you really hot, and it's super comfortable.

I'll never take them off. Then it's that the thing. So also there's the search term Cuban Mades by shortly after Fidel Castro's death. I don't know if they're like, I really want to feel for the kid. I don't know. So Cuban Mades, Millennials are loving cosplay porn

at the moment. What do you think about that cosplay? Yeah, I mean, because that's in pop culture, a huge, I don't get it too. I mean, there's more and more like, cons, you know, Comic-Cons in New York, Comic-Cons in San Diego. There's all these little small ones and cosplay is huge.

It's massive. I'm sure people are looking for it. It's so funny that you bring this up on the Woody show I always have to remind people the Woody shows a morning show that I'm part of in Los Angeles But we were talking about it Like it's something similar to this and you know Something that was hugely popular just recently because it's blown up in probably the past couple months What have you seen those dumb things that kids are playing with?

The fidget spinners. fidget twigit, it's a better name. Yeah, fidget spinners. So people are searching out fidget spinner porn. I know, but why? Because it's funny, too. It's not because they're like, Are they doing fidget spinner porn?

Yes, of course they are. It's stupid, it's dumb. But it's like, but I mean, guys search a lot of this stuff too as a, as a goof, as a joke, you know, so they're not like because, oh, I'm so into my fidget spinner. And then only by the sea of women sucking on a fidget spinner, my life would be complete. So that kind of, yeah, that's something that's blown up recently, too. So a lot of stuff is just in pop culture. They would be thinking it'd be funny to look up on the internet and see if there's like a porn version.

Right. But I wonder how that was actually sexually intense. How do you know? You never know. I mean, there's a, I'm, I'm sure a minute part of people that are into it. But again, a lot of guys are just looking at that as a goof. Right. Maybe. You never know. But I want to, well, I want to have a search for it, like, we better make some Twitch or porn Fidget porn. I kind of want one of the fidget spinners are they already gone now like it's so like jump the shark I give it about three or four months is just to make you less anxious to twitch it fidget. I guess I don't know We'll get you one my radio station right now the couple of one. Okay. That sounds awesome

So anyway, those are your porn trends. I guess we can learn a lot about people also Oh the search term golden showers peaked by 289% after the stories about Trump and the hotel. Yeah, it just comes again, it becomes up, it comes up in pop culture and people are searching. My only concern about porn is going to end this here. Not a concern. Like I think porn is great for turning people on, watching with your partner. If you guys are both cool with porn, I think it's a great way for couples to kind of figure out what each other likes and you kind of start with some lesbian porn. If you're in a heterosexual couple, great way to start. But I think that technically, again, not the best place to actually learn how to have sex. I've just been

reading a lot about girls and sex education and what they're learning and so many of them, this is nothing new, but they are literally watching the sites and they're figuring out like, oh, that's how I need to act. And then when they're like giving a blowjob or they're having sex or they're on top, they're channelling these points. I was going, oh, this is how she moved. This is how she gave the blowjob. And I just kind of obsess me because I technically it's really not how you should be learning

about you should be listening to the show. I would hate to give you some like impromptu work, but I would love to hear from listeners. Now at sexethemely.com, is it still feedback or is it assembly? Oh, go to the Ask Emily tab on the site and then send your question there. It's so much easier. All right, so sexethemely.com asks Emily out. Or text 7.9, task text, ask Emily one word. Cool.

To 7.9, 7.9, 7.9, go ahead. All right. I would love for you to compile a this by the time I get back here Yes again is If for people to ask That are searching a different types of porn and my the only one that's into this like this type of am I the only one That's into fidget spinner porn and my the only one that's into People that are dressing up like bears and having sex?

I want people to email us and do one. Yeah, I want you to know, like, ask us, am I the only person that's into this type of category of... And then we're gonna like... And then bring it on. And then we'll see like how many people ask those questions and see that people are probably watching a lot of the same things.

Yeah, and then I'll show, you'll show that, you're gonna find people that are similar to you. I know. But I would love to find maybe the most obscure one. Okay, you got that. Okay, I would love it. I'll be super interested. The one here, we'll be here.

I'm the guy that's only into, you know, women that wear transparent clothes or nibble clamps. Am I the only one that's into that? That'd be great. So, I started with like. Am I the only one that's into that? That'd be great. So we started with like, am I the only one in the subject? Am I the only one? Okay, good. I'd love to hear that feedback.

Very excited. Okay, and people have been great about sending in all their questions. The listeners are awesome. I really love them. Okay, so let's move on to emails. All right. Thank you, everybody, for supporting our sponsors.

They help keep the show free. And we love all of them. You know, I don't ever talk about any product or service that I haven't tried. We love you. Thanks for supporting the show. We'll be right back. Now, we're on to your emails. If you have a question, you want me to answer on the show. I love that. We made it super easy for you. You can text, as I mentioned, just text Ask Emily one word to 7979.

7979, and then you'll get an immediate form back that you just fill it out, send in your questions. You can go to sexwithemily.com via the Ask Emily tab, and as always, include your age where you live and how you listen to the show. I don't know if it's my way to get upset, people never were doing it. People are always like, don't know where you're at in life,

what's your location? Because like, oh, I can never meet anybody. Well, where are you? Are you in Wyoming? In a small town? Are you in New York City? Like, I want to try to figure out some ideas for you. Right.

And even now when people message me on Snapchat and Instagram, they're like, hey, Bob, you know, age 26, New York. They're really, they know that I won't even read it if they don't tell me. That's great. And how you listen to the show. And how you listen to the show. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. Spotify, SoundCloud, SexHoly.com, Google Play, Stitcher, Shout out to Stitcher, good friends. Yeah, I love them.

So. Okay, here we go, ready? Yep. Excited? Mm-hmm. Dear Emily, how can I speed up sex? I've been a sex student since my first time, always trying to be better and thought I had it all figured out.

Sex with my wife is incredible, but lately she wishes it didn't take so long. She orgasms and waves and says she has too many orgasms. I never knew that you're such a thing and this goes against she has too many orgasms. I never knew there was such a thing. And this goes against everything I thought that I knew. The problem is, I no longer know how to do it quickly. I know there are desensitizers to slow things down. Are there products to speed things up? Any advice on how to speed things up

would be appreciated? PS, Joe Lube, Tandering Dream is awesome. Thank you, Derek, 42 Michigan. Wow. My home state. Wow, okay, Derek, I was like, I was gonna say Joe Lube and Derek, I'm so glad you bought the Joe Lube, they're Tandering Dream, they're flavors for summer are epic you guys. I love you guys, a lot of you are snapping me, they're like, look what I bought and they

take pictures of the loop they bought and the toys they bought. Okay, Derek, here is the deal. Your wife, you've been together. I don't know how long you're 42. You're saying that she wants you to speed along because she's having enough orgasms. Typically, when men email me that they're taking too long for sex, it could be delayed ejaculation. If it takes you, which is actually the medical term for, the diagnosis, if you will, not

there's anything wrong with you, is when it takes 30 minutes or longer for men to ejaculate during intercourse. I'm not feeling like this is the issue. I'm feeling like you might just be like 10, 15 minutes, and she's like, I just came in five, and you need to go quicker. So there are some things, obviously, she could probably do to move it along, and I'm thinking you might need to go more for a play. Like, what if she turns you on a lot for,

like she's giving you a blowjob or you're masturbating together or watching porn together or whatever gets you there to speed it up, but there isn't anything you can take or do. I was thinking like she could stick a finger in your butt when you don't know, but that can kind of be,

I don't know if you're into that sort of thing. A lot of guys say it with me. I absentee know that for some men even just getting their premium played with or Doing something a different could really turn it out for both of you You could use and I'm not saying you should just randomly do that on some guy But choose your wife and if you're into that you might you know, you might like it also a cock ring Penis rings are great like she's getting turned on you're getting turned on the vibrant men's just staring Yeah, no, I'm sorry. I do like I don't think she's getting turned on, you're getting turned on, the vibrant men's just staring at you. Yeah, no, I'm sorry. The vibrations can feel great for you as well.

I mean, but I do like the- I don't think she's pushing you. I'm also feeling like that could be a fent- I wonder if there's a little bit of offensive in here. Like, I can't tell if this is, you know? No, I like the, maybe, if she's into it, who knows, the more like oral sex beforehand on you. Yeah. To like, almost get you to the point and then- Right. it who knows the more like oral sex beforehand on you.

Yeah. To like almost get you to the point and then. Right. That's what that's the only thing I can think about. I'm not going to, there's no pills or anything you can do to speed it up. So unless it's delayed ejaculation, which you know, can take a while. Otherwise, I think, I think you're fine. When you're using the lube, she can be some hand jobs beforehand.

But she has too many orgasms. I hope that's true for her. I also know that you guys are married and do been together while I think, and I feel like sometimes women, some women just aren't as into sex or with their partners, but they're just thinking like just be it along, I've had enough sex.

And so I'm wondering if you guys are really connecting or if there's something else going on that's just like something that's some kind of resentment. I mean, if it's truly just like everything's amazing, she has so many orgasms, she can't take anymore and she just wants to speed up, but that's really the only issue. So I just kind of want to, you know,

kind of take a look at that, Dirk, but if that's truly the thing, I think for play, some things that you've never tried before could be really cool and get you there first. Okay. Hey Emily, your show is fun and interesting. I love listening. My boyfriend and I have been together for seven months

and he's so hot and has the greatest penis I've ever seen. Seriously, wow, that's she wrote. But our sex life is meh. He's not very adventurous or spontaneous and when we do it, it doesn't last long. He's not very good at going down to me and I've tried to guide him, but it's not really working. I've made suggestions but nothing really takes. One time he even asked if I wore thongs and I was like, I'm hello, how many times have you taken my clothes off or see me get dressed and you don't know what underwear I wear. How can I get him to have adventure sex, i.e. outside of the bedroom and not think of sex as a chore. Thanks, Em. Alexis, 24 Dallas. 24, yeah.

What? I wanna buy a house in Dallas. You do? So she would be, yeah. But then you'd be living, you wanna live in Dallas? I'm down. Okay, cool. I would love it.

Go do that. But never very long. Thanks so many taxes here. Dude, I know. Okay, Alexis, there's a few things going on here. You've been together for seven months that you're 24 years old. Listen, he might not be great at going in and down

and you because he probably hasn't done it very often. In your 20s, early 20s, some guys that you just don't have the experience, but it can be difficult to give feedback because he might be like, I'm not sure what I'm doing and maybe you've tried and he could get offended. He might even tell you that he's offended. So it's very, you'd be very fragile.

I think there are egos can be fragile, same with the women when you're giving feedback. I'm just gonna give them the benefit of the doubt saying, he might not know and you need to help them out. So maybe when he's going down on you, I do think you could direct him, you could guide him, you can, you know, with your hands, I'm gonna hope here that you've had an orgasm

and that you know what you like. I'm gonna assume that Alexis. And if that's true and you do know what you like and you know how you need to move and you know where you need to be touched, then just guide them. Because I used to think when I was your age, Alexis, that men were mind readers as well.

I thought, there's my vulva, you're gonna go, vagina, vulva, you're gonna go down to me and you're gonna know what to do. And they don't, we don't come with instruction manuals. So I feel like you're gonna have to give them some guidance. And then also on the adventure side, same thing. When you say to them, let's be more adventurous. That's not what that means. That means do oral better. He doesn't know what that means. You point out what it means. So together, you can be like, babe, this has been so fun these seven months. I love making out with you sex is fun But what can we do together that could really like be fun and adventurous and you could say let's have sex

You might need to plan this Alexis. You might need to say we're having sex outside tonight I brought a picnic. We're gonna go in the backyard. Here's a blanket Yeah, and then I'm gonna show you how to go down on me. I don't know. I mean, you know what I mean like guys Don't know we we just I feel bad because Yeah, not until you tell me what you want I mean, you know what I mean? Like, guys don't know. I feel bad because we make assumptions that you do know. Yeah, not until you tell me what you want. I have no idea. I'm just trying out things.

Or I already think that this is what you like. So I'm not gonna change up anything. Right. Just had the discussion like it. Guys, look, I've been saying it for a thousand years. Guys are easy. You can talk to them. Just tell them what you want.

But don't tell me right. And when I meet for Agile, yes, tell them what you want. But don't be like, this has been bad. Or you know what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ton, right? I mean, it's. Yeah, yeah, definitely.

Just say, hey, I want this, like, you know, be kind of sexy about it. Be like, hey, you know what I want. Yeah. Put your mouth down there and use your tongue in this direction and use your fingers. I mean, Alexis, tell them, and again, this might be a great case for mutual masturbation because you masturbate, he masturbates. And that's adventurous for a lot of people.

They've never watched a guy masturbate. He's never seen you. So you got this, Alexis, just talk to him. And then if he's not responding and then he's not trying anything different, and it kind of freaks him out, you've been together seven months, you're 24, time to move on. I'm all about that, Lely. Like I used to be like, oh, I can't really tell anyone

just to leave, because I don't know their situation, but I look at the age, I look at the thing, just seven months in. You should be having some good sex in that. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Emily, you know that awkward phase. You start as a teenager. I'm still sort of waiting for it to end. I'm painfully shy and socially awkward. I'm an adult with a good job. I'm a good person. I'm well. I'm not a super attractive guy. I'm not unattractive.

It's so hard to meet and talk to people so hard to even get a first date, much less a second date or so on. Sex seems like something nice other people get to have. Listening to your podcast could sometimes be like a starving person watching the cooking channel. Oh no. I know. There's not going to be any one easy answer for me. Can you point me in a direction though? Give me some guidance. I'm thirsty as hell and I can hardly stand at any longer. I'm thirsty as hell. I'm thirsty as real man. Carl 32 Salt Lakes at Utah. Salt Lake. So Carl, okay, so awkward phase.

Madness was there. You putting the awkward phase. I mean, I really think, and you no longer are, you've embraced it. I mean, whatever it is, you've embraced your nerdy awkward self. And I don't think you've changed it. No, but you've got to go through that.

We've talked about this. Yeah, yeah, definitely like comfortable in your own skin. And just not caring knowing and I haven't said this in a while if you get shot down, guess what? You're not gonna die. You're gonna be okay. Don't waste your time being in a friend's own with anybody.

You know, if you're into somebody, let it be known. Maybe not in the first five minutes or a day or two. Right. But definitely, if there's somebody that you're into, pursue it, don't be shy, don't be afraid, nothing physically is going to happen to you. If you get shot down, yes, you're going to be sad maybe for a moment or two. Right, but it gets easier. It gets easier.

It does. There's power gets easier. It gets easier. It does. There's power in numbers, you know. It's true. And I mean, don't fire on like every single random person. But another thing is a good test. Like, I've said this before, just like even in public, don't be, I know like people get so focused in their phones or like, you know, not talking to anybody.

But, you know, just practice just like talking to people in public, like talking to the people in the grocery line, just like shooting the shit with people, I'm telling you, that gets you practiced when you do find somebody that you're into, that you can just flat out, just talk to them and not be shy about it. That's true, and people in Utah are really friendly and salt-like.

I remember going to Salt Lake City all the times I've been there, I'm like, these are the, everyone who lives here is the Utah are really friendly and Salt Lake. Oh, super nice. I've never go to Salt Lake City all the time. I've been there. I'm like, these are the, everyone who lives here is the, are so nice and so open. And I feel like that everything that you're saying, menace, is that like, first thing is cultivating confidence is the most important work you can do as a human, as a human. I mean, that's what holds so many of us back is that we're, we're not confident that we're, we have these insecurities and we just don't know how to break through it. And really it is just from working on the parts of yourself

that will make you feel better. And I think, what is that? Well, you want to be healthy? You know, go to the gym, working out, being more social. These are all things that will help. And I do think that, take it till you make it. If you're not comfortable talking to people, you got to have practice.

Like men said, make eye contact, smile. Just talk, hi, how's it going today? Yeah, you've been waiting long here for this butcher. And it's had to be all women. It could be like, is it like a practice talking? The art of conversation. And being confident is always an attraction. It is.

You know, if you're not even realizing what you're doing when you're just talking to somebody, they might just start being attracted to you just because you can conversate. Right. And before, when I was, I don't know, sorry, I'm not good at the English language, but I'm just saying like, conversate should be a word though.

Yeah, I can't say it. But I'm just saying that, you know, when you have that practice, everything will work out. When I was in my octet phase and you know, being shy, not talking, you know, keeping the blinders on, guess what? Guess how many people I was meeting? Zero. And then once I got over that and start talking to people, it's hard to see.

People are gonna talk, they wanna connect. You make eye contact, you smile, practice casual conversation with everybody. Also, you gotta retrain your brain here because your message, your 32, you're like, I'm awkward, I'm weird, just say like, you know what, dating is fun, dating is easy. I can do this, dating is a blast. And I know you're like, I'm awkward, I'm weird, just say like, you know what, dating is fun. Dating is easy. I can do this.

Dating is a blast. And I know you're like, oh, that's not going to work. Yeah, this actually does work. When you are in that loop of like, this is hard, I can't do it. Like, dating is fun. Dating is easy for me. Practice that one, Carl. I promise it will eventually begin to sink into your brain.

And just take an interest in her. If you're not sure, if you do meet someone and you go on a date online dating apps, or just dating online anymore, the dating apps are great for you too. If you're shy and uncomfortable awkward, set up a date, just go and ask a lot of questions, be a good listener. Yeah. So again, just don't be really good at writing on an app and then when you meet somebody in person, then you're super quiet.

The people who are great textors, but not great data. Yeah person, then you're like super quiet, you know? Oh, the people who are great textors, but not great data, you can make sure your kind of person makes sure it's all around a full package, you know, when you get out there, you'll be fine. It's okay. You got this.

Okay, yeah, Carl, those are my main tips, not too many things, just a few things and you can do it. You'll like this one. All right. Cause you're in it. What's the next one? Hey Emily, new listener here. I found out about your podcast from the Wodyshow. Oh, sweet, what's up?

How you doing? Yeah, what's up? It's a channel. See, I shout you out all the time, you don't believe me. I do believe you. In fact, someone can't tell me they go, could it be possible that I heard you on the morning show? I don't know what it was, and they were talking about you

and like, blow jobs or sex toys. Probably, yeah. Probably, I mean, that is the morning show. The don't know what it was and they were talking about you and like blowjobs or sex toys. Probably. Yeah. Probably. Yeah. Probably. And it's the morning show, the Woody show. Okay. Um, I have a question about a problem that I continue to have in my relationships. After I've been dating a guy and we get more serious like one or more years, I stop craving sex. I've had three serious relationships in seven years and it's happening again with my current boyfriend. I thought it was my birth control pill so I switched to the copper IUD and I still don't see much of a change in my libido and it's at least six months since I stopped the pill.

My boyfriend is wonderful and so attracted to me and willing to have sex. It just kills me that my body doesn't react the same way he does. We've tried talking about it but I don't want to hurt him by saying I don't get turned on. He's super helpful, bought me toys, He encourages me to watch porn and masturbate But I don't find myself getting horny at the right times and just not that often to begin with Is there something wrong with me? Is there a way I can approve my libido? Thanks for all you do Emily now back to binge listening Samantha 26 long beach. What long beach?

Long Beach is awesome. I know. It's great. Love Long Beach. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love Definitely not true. I know, but Allison, the sexist I'm like, listen, thank you so much. Thank you, Allison. That was in Long Beach. So if you met me, it would be like before the divorce that I was like meeting Angelina

Angelina. I know. I'm just wondering if that's... I don't know. Maybe show you a email. Okay, so here's the things to be honest. First of all, we have to always rule out anything. So any other medications you're taking, the copper IUD could still be the issue.

It can be. I'm just saying, I know that you went off the pill, but you got to talk to your doctor, go to your gynecologist and check it out. A lot of women are just like, eh, I'm just going to deal with this. If you're taking any antidepressants, if you're drinking a lot, drugs, all of that stuff is going to could have an impact on your libido. Okay. Let's say if it wasn't, right? Because you did say it was like past relationships. What do you think to do? Well, the past she was on the pill, and now she's on the ID,

and she might be switching like apples for apples. But let's say crazy situations, not that stuff. So what do you do when you start going on with that stuff? I say, let's say there's nothing going on. You're not depressed, depression can do it. You're not super anxious, you're not stressed out, you're not taking any medication, you just don't get turned on. I would focus on your U-time and your masturbation time because if you can learn how to get on

board with sex, get your body on board, get your brain on board with sex, like what turn, what truly turns you on. And you know, we've spent a lot of time talking about this last, especially the last year, a lot about women and fantasies and figuring out what are those moments to come out of a spank bank. For women, it's not necessarily like, I mean, it could be past lovers, but start thinking about the times when you have been turned on and the more that you masturbate and the more you think about sex, the more sex that you're going to want. And you're going to want to create, you're going to crave. I actually just wrote a column for glamour.

I think you can also find out in a website about how to get your brain back on board for sex, which you can check out. I don't want you faking it with your boyfriend. You're saying he wouldn't understand, but I feel like if you love this guy and you're with him, that you really should be honest with him because you're saying you're not getting horny at the right time.

So what are the right times? I mean, there's a study that came out a few months ago, like shock men and women don't crave sex at the same time What man wanted the morning like women wanted like Tuesday's at three or something I mean, it's crazy like how are we all supposed to make this work? But we do make it work and so I really think that you need to just pay attention to yourself You have to put in some work here figuring out what works for you because he's not gonna be able to do them the magic

You know he's not gonna be able to touch you in some magical way He's trying and here's the other thing I love he's really supportive of you. He's not going to be able to do the magic. He's not going to be able to touch you in some magical way. He's trying. And here's the other thing I love. He's really supportive of you. He's buying you toys. He's encouraging you. Just be honest with him. I'm really, really, maybe make it both of your things too.

If you're like, let's do mutual masturbation together or let's go by a toy together because I haven't found my G-spot yet or something that you guys can do together if you feel like on your own you won't do it. But that's what I would say. That's what I will say. Let's try that. And then regroup. That's regroup.

Hey, Emily, I love listening to the podcast. I've heard you and other people talk about cock rings and was curious as to why people like them and use them. I feel a little embarrassed googling this and asking others. So figure it right to you. Tell the rest of the team I love them and give them all hugs from me. Anderson, Menace, Jamie, too.

XO, XO. Sweet. So many different cock rings out there, right, Menace, Jamie, too, exo, exo. Sweet. So many different cock rings out there, right? I know, right? So many cock rings. I remember years ago, when we first started doing the show together, there was like, I think maybe you were even promoting it,

or maybe you just got a bunch of samples, I don't even remember, because it was so long ago. But the Trojan, like disposable, vibing coquering, lifestyles. Oh, lifestyles. The lifestyles disposable coquering. Yes. Those are, there's like metal ones, there's like all different types, right? Right. There are. And so coquering, so Devon, this is a great question, because coquering's, when they first came out like years and years ago, they're mostly for men to where they were like a single, they could be plastic,

they could be metal aluminum. What are they made out of? What are they made out of? Titanium? No, titanium. Rubber. But really there's so many. They can help men, it can help men delay ejaculation.

Ceramic. Ceramic. Ceramic painted, you can paint them yourself. So here's the deal, the reason why I think that they've gained more attention in recent years is because now they vibrate. And the coquins that we talk about in the show are amazing because men can wear them during intercourse.

And then your partner can climb on top wherever on the bottom and hits her clitoris in this lovely way. There's also for gay men too. There's ones at your balls. You know, men get any men. I'm sorry. Any guy, any person with a penis can use the ones that, you know, you can tuck your balls up in there and like they just feel great. The vibrations feel wonderful to many men as well.

So the thing about the Cochrane is it's a great couple's toy. So I'm also lately obsessed with the Wevibe pivot when they told me they were making a Cochrane last year. Remember I went with them in Germany like check it out with Cochrane. I was so happy because there hasn't been one lately that I've been this excited about and I finally got it. If you watch on Snapchat, I think I was having a hugeuckring. I was so happy because there hasn't been one lately that I've been this excited about and I finally got it If you watch on Snapchat, I think I was having a huge party celebration about it and it's called the pivot has 10 plus Controls on it. There's different sensations. There's different patterns or different intensities

And so you wear it and you know again, it hits are clitoris if you're having sex with the woman she climbs on top It's great. I also use it as a clitori put it on like on my fingers and use it at the top of it for all these great vibrations. So I think that's what a cocorrig is. But again, you could also, if you're just asking because you want to use it in your own, you could use this one on your own as well. You could get one that just goes around your penis to restrict blood flow, so you don't come as quickly, but that's the thrill of the cocorrig. That's what we got time for, Menace.

It's great seeing you, Emily. Great seeing you too. I learn so much every single time. That's good. Take it all with you. And let me do my little spiel for you. Please. You listen to the show for free.

I'm not going to make you feel bad, everybody. But Emily puts a lot of time into the show. Her whole crew here in Hollywood, California, right? West Hollywood. West Hollywood, WeHo. WeHo. WeHo. WeHo. They spent a lot of time on the show and they put their own time and effort into it. So if you can please, if you're listening to this on an app, a website wherever, wherever you're at, please rate and review the show. That just helps spread the word, pushes Emily higher on the list.

Let's say iTunes. When you subscribe. When you subscribe, when you let people know that the show is here, it just benefits the show. And if you can just do that little piece for us, we would appreciate it. So thank you so much. Thanks, Manus. And find Manus at Manus in the Woody Show.

The Woody Show is a daily podcast, and Morning Show in Los Angeles, and in St. Louis, Missouri, coming to a bunch of other cities. If you want to check out pop culture news, whatever, just search the Woody show. It's a Monday through Friday podcast. Cool. Enjoy it. It's good. It's not about sex though.

Get all your sex here. Get your sex here. Get everything else there. Please follow me on Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram. It's at Sex with Emily because we like that. I love hearing from you guys. I love talking to you. Thank you to my amazing team, Ken, producer,

or Lark, Jamie, and Michael. And thank you, Manus, of course, for being here. I love you. And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me via the Ask Emily tab on SexWithEmily.com. you