Sex With Emily - Learning the Ropes with Porn Star Kelly Shibari

Episode Date: May 3, 2014

This week Kelly Shibari, the BBW Performer of the Year and Penthouse Forum’s first-ever plus-size cover model, joins Emily to talk squirting, her secret blowjob tips and the history of Shibari- the ancient Japanese art of rope bondage.Emily interviews this media producer turned groundbreaking porn superstar about what it’s like to be the only plus-sized Fleshlight model, tentacle porn and who her favorite erotica writer is. Learn why Emily loves bondage tape and how having a false eyelash fall off mid-scene taught Kelly about body confidence and what men really crave when they’re watching porn! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks so much for listening to the Sex with Emily Show, I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. I want to give you the best show possible, so I so appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Flushite is the number one sex toy for men. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner? The Flushite, the most popular sex toy for men, it simulates the sensations of sex.

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Betrubized, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The world's got a hair stand. It's so nice. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, go to sexvelmy.com because you can see all of our blog posts, we do some informative stuff there that you actually will help you improve your sex life just like this podcast and send it for mailing lists because we love to hear from you and we love to send you things that are actually informative and helpful and you can file me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and just go to iTunes and subscribe around for my website and then you'll never miss another podcast again and that would be amazing because I know that you would hate to miss a

sex with only podcast. We've got hundreds of women iTunes. I've got thousands of them in my vault that someday I'm gonna release to you all because I think you know you're all still downloading the 200 and I've got so many more. Tonight's show I'm really excited for my guest. It's Kelly Shabari. Hi, Kelly. Hi. Hi, she is a plus size performer and she was, well, this is the first thing I have, but then we're gonna talk about your big bang here. Ever molded for a flashlight. Kelly is a background in design and construction and mainstream film and television production.

She is, right now, the Penn House form cover just came out, right? Yeah, it just came out right it just yeah just came out on Tuesday okay the to may issue she's the very first plus size model ever featured on a penthouse property feature which just hit new stands this past Tuesday up in her upcoming film is Jessica just just a just a great guide to wicked sex plus size first sex education film ever made about plus size relationships and sex. And I'm so honored to have you here today. I'm really happy to be here.

Thank you. Ground breaking, stuff you're doing. What has been so like the pen house thing, how excited are you? Very. Beautiful. Everyone's got to get it. It's amazing. Yeah, and the response has been like, I was kind of like, yeah, it's kind of cool, you

know, you know, first plus size girl on the cover of pen house forum. And, but the response is so much bigger than I even thought it would be because it's it from just fans Or is everyone are other women and especially other women, but also guys who are like yeah, we love big girls We've been waiting for a Plus size person to be on a men's magazine just in general winners the first time. Yeah, maximum fh You know none of. And so a couple of people actually, this is like when it becomes really flattering is somebody was saying, it's just like having the first black girl on Playboy. Yeah. I mean, in a way it is,

it's sort of breaking ground. And I was like, oh, I didn't even think of it that way, because I'm not super, you know, like, diva's that way. So I was like, I'm just happy that they asked. Right. They put me on and I was like, like, diva's that way. So I was like, I'm just happy that they asked. And they put me on and I was like, wow, it actually looks really good. It looks amazing. This beautiful. So I want to talk. We're going to get into your career and all that and what you do.

Shabari, BDSM, all the kind of work you do. But first, I've got some sex in the news stories. And I thought you may be able to offer some interesting insights to the okay. So and I'm also here with Anderson Hi, Anderson. What about them? How you doing honey? I'm good. Yeah, I'm not gonna say why but I'm trying to figure out how to Spell the word incestuous right now. Oh, you feel Incessuous

I see us to you. Oh you shouldn't admit that you know how to spell incestuous. I can't I'm a good Speller. That's about all I have No, I've got other things going for me too. OK, so here's the thing, I think. OK, sex and news. Student by day, strippers by night. According to the New York Post, New York City College Girls are swarming to strip clubs for their first chance at the poll.

Ever since Duke undergrad, Bell Knox, who spends her first free time working, who spends her free time working in porn, announced that she would be opening up her first strip show, college girls are jumping out their chance to perform Bell Knox, will be opening the show at the palace, will show them make $2,000 in one night. College girls are now viewing this deal as a way to pay off their college debts and work around

their busy school schedules. On average, they can make $1,500 to $2,000 a week working three nights. The money they make goes towards tuition, school supplies rent savings their families probably some good shoes or something. But what do you think about this so bell knocks was the under graphic made you know headlines that she was stripping and doing all this after pay her college education and now it's like a trend now the other girls are like forget being a bartender forget

being a waitress I can make fifteen our night what do you think about this I don't know if it's actually a trend. I think it's just been more public because of Bell. College girls have been doing webcam shows and doing point. I mean, perfect example is Joanne Angel. Right. You know, I mean, she was at one of the shows. Right. Right. And she, she's very public about that. She's like, I started when I was in college. I started doing some stuff with my best friend there. And then now she owns this giant empire, this point empire, but she started when she was in college. So the whole, you know, the whole doing,

doing adult work to pay your tuition, I don't think it's new. I don't think that's new, but I do think that the bell knocks thing is having women who never thought, I mean, I think there's the women who think about it other than I think it's kind of starting this people like, oh, I never thought about that.

Right. And the fact that she's leading the show with what? Especially with live like stripping. Yeah, exactly. So yeah. If I fun fact, fun fact, yeah. I don't know how you know this, but Joanna Angel actually not only had you sat in that seat a few times, spoken on the microphone, but you see behind Emily right there that corner.

She was over there in that corner some months ago, making herself ejaculate. Oh, wow. Not for me, not for me, but for my kind of way. I never really happened. I'll never have it. But we're going to have a recreate at the scoreathon 2013. But yeah, she she scored it in a high-risk reservation month.

It is masturbation month. Happy masturbation month. I just sent out a newsletter about that today. Happy masturbation month. Because it's May. So it's an alliteration. It's May. No, it's not alliteration.

I mean, maybe it is, but not, but whatever. It's been going on for 19 years. It's the 19th masturbation month, which I'm going to be doing a lot of work this month around masturbation. Not just my own personal work, but I'm going to be committed. I want everyone, I've got like a 30-day masturbation challenge that I want to talk to you about. What's the point of masturbation month? Is it for awareness?

To people more people? It's for awareness that you should know that you can masturbate. Is that what it is? No, it's not awareness. Everyone's like, dude, who is an everyday masturbation? Right. So I know that you're all thinking that and you just thought that in your mind. So I just said it for you.

No, it's because masturbation is the way that you can truly get to understand your own body and to have even better sex. If you're already having great sex, you can have more sex because so many people, they do have sex, they masturbate the same way over and over and over and on. And so there are so many other erogenous zones on your body, like different things you could explore that you should take the time to get to know.

Anderson, who knows? I could give you a butt plug and I could change your life. I'm a big fan of mutual masturbation. I'm not sure if you're too. I'm not sure if you're too. I'm not sure if you're too. I'm not sure if you're too. I'm not sure if you're life. I'm a big fan of mutual masturbation. I'm much rather a due mutual masturbation month. Yeah, I'm usually a big, that could be another one. That could be good. Yeah. Is there another? I'm March. March.

For the eliteration. But your mutual masturbation is one of my favorite tips for couples to learn what your partner likes. Like, you don't ought to get off him off, whatever, check out what he does. Oh, okay, I get it. The great Adam Corolla once said that sex is fine and it's good, no, it's just not as good as the real thing. Which is masturbation, right? Exactly, exactly.

So yeah, it is masturbation month and so I'll be doing a lot of things this month around like tips and tricks and toys and all that stuff. But also not only that, it's like, even if you're in a couple, like you're in a committative relationship, a lot of times people think, you know, they let the masturbation slide, you know, go to the way side, they're thinking I don't need it

But really again, you can continue to I always think of the care sucks life are expensive and you can constantly be learning About yourself and and all that stuff. So I think it's fun It's fun for you make time for I mean really like I have my assistant like scheduled me in like because I have to review a lot of toys for my job I'm like I don't have time to master it. That's ridiculous. In fact, that I'm saying that so you people will make time this month and we'll be giving lots of good tips. Nothing, you know, don't worry, I'll have other shows about other things, but masturbation is important. Okay. And the other thing, well, okay. So now that we're on this, I guess that was the only story I'm going to read. I was going to talk about sterling. You know, the thing going out of sterling. Yeah. The bunny ranch

bands Donald Sterling for life. I heard. Yeah. So Dennis Havas, now that Donald Sterling is banned from the Bony Ranch and the other six brothels he owns in Nevada for life. A lot of NBA players came here to party. Out of respect to them, we have banned Sterling from coming here. And it's because at any given time,

20, 23% of the prostitutes here are African-American and they're smoking hot. Some of them are crying this morning. So we're doing for this, this for them as well. We don't need racist or bigots at the bunny ranch. So the whole sterling thing is he's owner of the clippers and he made a racist remark to a woman, his sugar baby, is that what it was? They had like a sugar baby sugar daddy.

His side piece. His side piece. And she taped it, like making really racist remarks and it's just started up. What? I love Dennis Hoff. mean this is great has sterling ever even been to the bunny ranch you know I'm not I don't I mean players probably he's never been there and now he's being banned and Dennis is just desperately trying to get his name like yeah maybe that's it but it's a good thing to get behind I mean sure but but no you're right maybe he has been there I don't know what does What does it say? A lot of NBA players. Yeah, it's clear

to probably yeah. Yeah, good for him. Good for this. But anyway, it's terrible. What happens week in the United States. Yeah, it's yeah, I mean, it's there's there's obviously like the whole freedom of speech thing. But at the same time, like if you own a company that you own a franchise as predominantly African American, and it's a sport that predominantly African American people go to, You might not want to be racist. People just are just such, it, he probably doesn't even realize what he's saying. He's been in a ways of life. Not that's an excuse at all. It's just, it's just stupid, but I'm glad he got caught in this.

So there should be more like that. Everyone have your tape, or is that really your phone's out all the time and tape everything. Um, okay, so that's where I went to, so Kelly, okay, so let's talk about you. So you've had a very interesting career. I love that you started out. So your bio is so interesting that you started out. I'm a weirdo. But it's okay. Your background is in design and construction in mainstream film and television production to form up performing in front of the camera as the sexually charged figurehead for chubby asian girls everywhere. Kelly is a stereotype breaking tour de force. The plus size performer not only entertains fans in front of the camera, but she produced a 2011 feminist porn awards winning padded kink, which celebrates kinksters of all sides.

It also we talked about your flashlight, which is the only like plus size one it was a limited edition It's not available anymore Which is what actually I'm saying to people because I still get people contacting me and they're like hey Can I get your flashlight and like no it's been two years really they can't get it anymore, but you can't buy it anymore But you know like this penthouse forum is like it's only gonna be around for a month Oh my god you guys gotta get the penthouse. Yeah, so if you don't get it, don't come to me. Six months from now, say, Hey, where's your penthouse? Because it'll be gone.

And at this time, I know when it's going away. Okay. So this is the thing. And this was in a halfington post too. You saw the halfington post. It's penthouse forum debut. They're junior issue Wednesday. And to our pleasant surprise, it features Kelly Shibari, a plus

side adult performer. This is the first cover of its kind for the mag, which unlike parent magazine, penthouse features more journalistic and editorial pieces. So it's all Penn House letters. It's the whole, yeah, it's your, dear Penn House. I love it. I never thought this would happen to me. That should be my story. I never thought this would happen to me. I know. I'm on the cover of Penn House and I'm a plus sign girl. It's amazing. And so you were named Exotic as 2013 and 2014 BBW, big beautiful woman performer of the year.

You run your own social media mark, you know, you have 65,000 followers on Twitter. But also their introductory letter explains the best. And I love their introductory letter. It's so awesome, right? It's so awesome. It's called second vogue. Yeah, it's a second vogue. It says, we're not trying to be politically correct.

We're not doing this to prove a point and we're sure as shit not doing this this to assert as some second generation postmodern feminist do that this is what real one looks like. We're shining the spotlight and Kelly Shabari to show that we love women of all shapes, sizes and colors just like our readers. So welcome to the biggest boldest issue of Penn House Forum yet enjoy it. That's as there's a clap. Thank you. I'm so proud of you. And I'm so happy because it really is very much. Welcome to the biggest boldest issue of Penn House form yet, enjoy it. That's as there's a clap.

Thank you. I'm so proud of you. And I'm so happy because it really is very much... See? We're going to clap for you. It's so close to how I feel, because I'm not very political. I mean, if I was slender, if I was large, it really doesn't matter. I probably would have still had the same kind of love for performing.

Right. And there's plenty of other like plus-sized performers who are activists, I probably would have still had the same kind of love for performing. And there's plenty of other like plus-ice performers who are activists and I'm just not an activist. Right. I totally got it. You're like, this is why I am, yeah. In a way, just by doing your work, you don't have to say anything about you. This is who you are.

You've had success. You're living your life. You don't have to be the activist around you. So having, you know, something like this happen, but for them to say it's not like a feminist stance is like, yes, thank you for understanding because I'm not doing it. Yeah, I know they got it. And this is an iconic issue. So you guys it's not going to be around forever. It's going to be off stands and then they're going to sell an eBay for 1000 bucks. So it's going to be you go by it right now. It's June 2014 issue. Yeah, it's on the stands right now. I hit the stands on Tuesday. It's there for a month. So June. June 2nd. Okay, so it comes off. Okay, my birthday. So, um, yeah, I know. Well, yeah, it is my birthday. Yeah, it's got to be for June 2nd, everyone and and support her. Support this, this big new man. I think it's, it's a big sign.

Like, you know, I don't make a cent if they sell one if they sell a thousand. I don't make it. Right, right. But it's just I think that if you're doing. Yeah, absolutely. I think that if people will go out and sell one, if they sell a thousand, I don't make any money. But it's the poor, right, right. But it's just the poor, if you're doing. Yeah, absolutely. I think that if people will go out and buy one, even if they don't read it, just buy like, go buy 10. I don't care. Exactly. But if you can prove that like a plus size woman

on a cover of a men's magazine can sell out, then I think other magazines will think about doing it. Exactly. So that's exactly what I'm saying. So do that now after you listen to the entire podcast, which is going to get really good here Kelly, because she's got a lot to talk about, and a lot to share with you.

And as always, on Thursday nights, you can call in between 830 and 930, Pacific Standard Time. Our number is 1,105,683191. So calling with your questions, if you're hanging out and you wanna chat. So how did you first get into porn? Okay, so where the whole, like, I'm an anomaly thing, because I started off as a Rody.

I then became a production designer for mainstream, like Hollywood commercials TV, that kind of thing, and films. And then in 2007, there was a giant writer's strike in town. Right. And so all the work dried up. So when the writer's struck, like, there's a writer's strike about every four years. Right. And the first one we completely like were able to recover from.

But the second one in 2007, like the writer's struck, then the actor's struck, and then the crew's struck. And like all the work dried up, which is why we have so much reality TV guys. Right. It's true. Yeah. It's so true.

Because the writers weren't working. Right. So they were like, oh, reality TV. And a friend of mine who was a weapons Wrangler, who I've hired for years and years. A weapons Wrangler. Yeah. So he's the guy who does all the prop guns, right? Teachers, um, teaches, teaches people like Daniel Craig, how to shoot a gun on set, um, that safety guy, right? Okay. His, his girlfriend, and he hit also Moonlit and porn. And so we're all just hanging around and I said, well, what are we going to do? And just kind of, you know, what do we do while we wait for the industry to come back? And he said, you should do porn. And my immediate reaction was there's no fat girls in porn because all the porn I'd watched up until then was like vivid, you know, like the

stuff you watch on cable or like, you know, and he goes, no, there's these websites now They have plus size porn. He actually showed me a couple of websites and I was like wow, they actually look really pretty They're not like the butt of a joke right so I'll send my photos in and if they take me then I kind of do it So it's kind of a dare right kind of a had you ever thought of like are you do you like porn your sexual? I watched porn since I was like, probably nine. It's good. You know, I'm originally from Japan, so I like come from like the land of Hentai and tentacle porn. So I'm, I sexuality has always been very open with me

as well as with my family and with everybody I grew up with. OK. And so there was no shame around sex growing up. So that's good. And so I sent my pictures in. They were like, I guess they'd never had anybody who was Asian sent pictures in for size stuff before. Um, although there are plenty of plus size Asian girls in the country, they're just none who are very overtly

sexual. And so I sent my pictures and they were like, yes, when can you come in? Oh, wow. And I said, okay, well, I guess I'll do this as a sabbatical while I wait for Hollywood to kind of like get its stuff together and it just never did. And it still really hasn't kind of recovered. It never did. And so I did that for a couple of years and I said, well, I guess I'll kind of keep doing this, but I'm getting kind of bored. So now I also do PR marketing.

Oh, you too. On the set, that's what you said for just different clients. Yeah. Okay. Mostly novelties. Oh, okay. Toys, things like that. Okay. So you got it. So tell me about like your first, so youties, but yeah, okay, it's a toys, things like that. Okay, so you got it.

So tell me about like your first, so you did, you do porn, so you did the shots for the web sentence but you asked, or was it, was it, it was a porn site? It was a porn site, so we did a, you know, they flew me down for three days, they shot me for three days solid, like two scenes a day. And how was it your first scene?

Like every other topic in the camera? Right, and my background's in production. So I was never in front of the camera, in fact, like, every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera.

Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera.

Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a camera. Every time I get a. Every time I get a. Every time I get a. Every time I get a. Every time I was on set, I was kind of like, you know, I kind of knew the format of how a shoot goes and and I've watched enough porn so I think the combination of two, I wasn't all that nervous.

Okay. And then who'd you have to sleep with, men, women? Men. Okay. The first shoots were, were men. And then I've had a couple of kind of girl girls seen since then. Not that comfortable. Like, I've dated women. Right. but porn girl girls scenes aren't very authentic right to me um take note people yeah like like there's a lot there's like feminist porn out there and there's a queer porn out there that's very authentic which ones you would you recommend for people because I'm always talking about that that there's a lot more for porn girlfriend films yeah there's differences go right no they're here okay because they're all my

show ones when I live in tamarins just their experiences go right? No, they're here. Okay, because they were all my show ones when I lived in Tamer just go, I thought they were there. No, they're great. And so their stuff is, you know, they use a lot of girls who are authentically intergirls. But with, with me, especially for plus size, because girlfriend says, do plus size, they're not now, but everyone else. Not now, but they might.

Yeah. Hi, girlfriend's, but if, you know, like the girl girl scenes that I would do that were plus size, they weren't really all that organic, they weren't really all that comfortable. And so it was like overtly fakey. Right. You know, so yeah.

So then did you get to shift it after that? And like kind of do more what you wanted to do? I primarily a boy girl performer. Okay, got it. And so, And there's girl, there's plus size performers who are predominantly, they do a lot'm primarily a boy girl performer. Okay, got it. And so, and there's plus size performers who are predominantly, they do a lot of queer and girl girl stuff predominantly.

I'm like the hardcore gang bang, blow bang girl. Right, so what are you, so what kind of scenes, like what's your most, like what was your most like challenging scene that you shot? Okay, so two years ago, we did a fam blow bang with 18 guys.

Okay, so explain that to me. So there was like a sports thing, and like porn stars on Twitter do this all the time where they're like, if my team wins, I'm gonna blow everybody. And their teams don't win. And so it's kind of like a Twitter kind of like, it's like a media thing, right, to get some more followers. And in my case, it was the Japanese women's soccer team,

and they won. And I was like oh they won What do I do now? so we put out a call like on all the social media right had like over 200 people apply then I said no you need to go get tested Through like the adult industry testing facility not like the clinic and So that kind of narrowed it down to about 18 people. Okay,, wow. And then you 18 out of 200 people have tested clean? Yeah, either, well, no, either. No, well, either they didn't bother getting tested because adult industry testing is kind

of pricey. It's like $150. Yeah. So they either didn't want to get tested. Right. Or they were like just saying that they wanted to and they were never going to show up anyway. Right. Because there's a lot of guys who do that.

They're like, yeah, totally be a porn star and the way you actually call them out on it. Like, oh, wait. Oh, no, I can't. So what happens during the scene? So 18 guys show up. Yeah. It was a blow bang. So it was, um, you had to give them all blow jobs. Yeah, all at the same time. So it was like, they're all around me. It's a lot of pain. It's like three guys at a time. Um, but, uh, do they all ejaculate? Yeah. You made them all come all 18. All of them. And then, uh, did they all ejaculate? Yeah, all of them. You made them all come all 18. All of them and then 15 and 15 and 15. That's really impressive.

I think we need another 15 came twice 15 came twice. You do that good. Do you like a good blow job tip for me? Incusey asshole. That's what I was saying. What the hell is that? No, I'm sure you got to be into it. Yeah, I love sex, but I really, really love blow jobs.

No, what do you love about it? Let's try to talk women into it. I don't love it. Did you like practice the shake weight for a few weeks leading up to this? No. Right. Exactly. But it was exhausting.

It was in the middle of the summer. So downtown LA, no air conditioning. Oh God. It's spreading. Yeah. So you couldn't tell whether it was sweat or come or what was going on. Which is probably good for porn. And the more liquid the better.

The Japanese soccer team, were they like underdogs? Was it like a long shot for the other? It was it was right after the tsunami. And so they couldn't practice. They only practiced like half the time. So you thought it was a safe bet? Well, it wasn't that. It was more like yay go Japan, because I'm originally from there.

Now were you rooting against them at one point when you realize this might be coming a reality? The last the the last game was US versus Japan and I'm half American, half Japanese. I was like, I don't know. I don't know who I want to win, but they would win and then they would lose and it really wasn't a really heated game. And when Japan went, I was like, yay. So I was really happy that they won.

And about 20 minutes later, I was like, wait a minute. All the girls running around on the field just look like giant penises coming towards you. Right. Oh my God, that's crazy that you do that. So where can people find that film? That film, it was out two years ago. Okay. It's still available through my size called Kaleigh Shabari's Overloaded.

Okay. Kaleigh Shabari is overloaded. I'm overloaded just like hearing about it. And you're also at Kaleigh Shabari on Twitter and we'll have all this on my, and is there a website that you wanted to give out as well? I have a free fan site, I don't have a membership site. I used to have one, but it's just,

yeah, I know, I'm trying to help. I'm trying to help a lot. Yes, it's a lot of work. Yeah. And so I have Kelly Shabari TripleX.com, which is like my free site the fans can go to and they can find out what new DVDs are out where they can buy the pen house forum.

Okay. Yeah. house forum. Okay. Yeah. Got it. Okay. They just want to clear that up. Okay. Let's take some calls. We got some calls. You were asking for a blowjob tips and I cut you off.

Oh, you did. Okay. So enthusiasm. You're right. You know, enthusiasm and eye contact is for me is really important. Right. I like to spend my time. I'm not a quickie person when it comes to BJs. I'm like, I still really want that

either. I don't think. I think sometimes their mother's coming home or come with them, in which case we've got other problems. I think that there's there's times for quickies, whether it's sex or BJs, and I have done those and those are all sorts of fun, because it's like, okay, now we're done. Now let's go to whatever was we were supposed to be doing. But there's also the, you know, if you have the time, I like spending 20, 30 minutes. Wow. And I'm sure they're very, they're very grateful. So using tongue, there's like one thing besides it's like a specific thing that's like

your trademark. Oh my God, he's going to miss every man loves. Even though every penis is different. You know, I like to play with the Frenulum with my tongue. Yes. My mouth is going with my tongue. Yes. My mouth is going up and down. Right. The frenulum, which is on the most sensitive part of a man's penis, we talked about this

last week, got the underside of the penis. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Okay.

Well, now we can take a call. Okay. Let's talk to you line two. Yes. I just want to find out about the exalib plat and theen. I don't really be heard of it. It's a, my husband is being treated for cancer. Okay. And I was wondering if it has

effect any libido or anything like that. You know, I am not a medical doctor, but I'm assuming that it might be effective. I would think that the medication that they're giving them would be effective. Yeah, if he's on a lot of different medications and stuff, it's probably is going to affect the libido, but I don't want to say for sure. Yeah, for sure. So I think what I would do is just really treasure the time that's what I think is more important.

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I'm sorry that that's going on, but I would say that it could have effect as libido, but there are still things that you could, you know, do to keep sexual and intimate with your partner. You could also, you know, ask your doctor. There might be something else you could take that could supplement it if there is problems with libido, but just make sure you're connected.

There's actually a couple of products out there that if he's not able to maintain erection, one of the companies I do work with is Spare Parts Hardware which is a strap on harness company. Oh awesome. And they make a strap on harness specifically for guys who have erectile dysfunction. So the guy wears it and you can actually have the dildo, right in it.

So you can actually have sex with your partner if you can't have an erection. So you can still simulate this virtual experience. That's really cool. Do you hear that? You can do rights. You can still be intimate. You can be kissy and cuddly and do all of those other things except for the actual penetration.

Right. Because you could still do sex, other things, but this can do the strap-in. And what's the name of your company? My clients' company is spare parts hardware spare parts hardware, you know You may have to get creative here, but I think you should still you know keep it going. Yeah Yeah, okay. Thank you Okay, good luck to you. Thanks, you know That's tough on it is true and so many these meds and communications is funny because I get so many emails from listeners

And they're like this kill libido does that means everything for the birth control pill and it presents and it's just Absolutely, I mean it could anything from alcohol. Oh, Oh yeah exactly. I'll call drug use ever everything so which is a bummer for people who are like I mean but there's so much there are a lot of ways to be intimate. Exactly it's not just about it's not just about intercourse. Okay real quick I have got a few words here for my sponsors. I want to thank everyone for listening to the show and I love being able to help you have the kind of sex life and relationships you deserve and I want to give you the best show possible So I so appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free So let me tell you about Probescent did you know that one in three men actually suffers from premature ejaculation?

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know what's because that's kind of how you took your name. Yeah, it's shabari. How would you explain shabari? So Japanese is Shibari is Japanese rope bondage. So there's all sorts of bondage out there. There's like the whole like using a silk tie. There's using like you know strings. Oh, straight. And Shibari specifically is the Japanese kind of old school method that's been around for I would say thousands of years

because it started out back when the samurai were around. And it's very intricate, it's very pretty to look at. It's kind of like an art form. It is an art, like did you have to take classes to learn how to tie? Okay. And I'm a wrote bottom, like I'm the person that likes to be tied up.

Right. And I've done like full body suspensions and things like that. I'm not necessarily the person actually does the tying. Okay. So, but yeah, I like restraint play. Just in general, it's, my mind goes, and things like that. I'm not necessarily the person actually does the tying. Okay. So, but yeah, I like restraint play just in general. My mind goes in like 18 different directions. That's what?

When you're tied up. No, when I'm not tied up. Oh, so when I'm tied up. I see, so it helps you focus. I should try that because I have ADD. I mean, I've tried it. It helps you relax. Because, and I figured that out when I started getting massage because like, okay, there's

like 18 different things I want to do, but I have no choice but to lay here and just take this massage So then your body just relaxes Right, and so that then translated into like you know having been a rodeo I used to date a lot of like rigors and you know those kind of people and when I was in film I used to date a lot of like kind of grip electric So everybody's got rope and And through playing with those guys I I kind of realized that, oh, it's very similar.

I'm tied down. I can't move. I can't do anything. So I have no choice but to relax. So for me, it's relaxing. Right. I love that. It's true.

And then there's nothing else that you can do right now because he's in charge. He's in charge. So what do you think it is about? So it's kind of they have to form a BDSM. And so do you have any tips about that, like couples who are interested because I feel like with the whole 50 shades, great thing. Yeah. I know.

Everybody's going to want to try and everybody's already, they already are trying it. Yeah, there's some great stuff like sports sheets and I love bondage tape. I mean, there's easy ways people think, oh, God, I don't have a dungeon. Well, you don't need a dungeon. I think bondage tape is a great way to start because it's wide. I love bondage tape. And it way to start because it's wide. I love bondage tape. And it's so easy to get out of. You know, like not for you to get out of this bondage tape.

Like once you're once you have bondage tape used on you, you can't really get out. But it's easy to untie. Like if you're like, okay, I'm done. Like all he needs to do is take a pair of scissors. Exactly. And it's reusable. It looks like electrical tape, but it's actually plastic. But it's wide yourself.

But it's wide. It's wide. Yeah. Yeah. Don't use electrical tape. No it's actually plastic, but it's wired yourself. But it's wired. It's wire 5 inches wide. Yeah. Yeah, don't use electrical tape. No, no, please do not. I'm just saying it looks like that. But it's that kind of shiny kind of plastic material. It's really easy. You can rip it with your hand.

You don't feel like you're scissors. It's not sticky like electrical tape. It's kind of like based on static electricity. So you just kind of wrap it around. But it's opposed to using rope, because rope can cut in. Right. It really is a great way to start as to use bodice. Yeah, I agree.

And you can also check it out at goodvibes.com. Use coupon code Emily, and you get like 20% off your order of anything that we talk about tonight. Good vibes is, we love, do you know good vibes? I do, I love them. I love them. I love them, they're awesome. I love them, they're like sex positive, they're amazing, and you should support them and buy some

bondage tape or whatever. What other kind of products do you like? Um, there's sex toys, do you have sex toys? Oh, so like not just specifically bondage. Um, I'm a big fan of, you know, magic wand type. Magic wand. Oh my god, I could have guessed. I know.

Well, and I'm actually working with a company right now that has a product called Shibari Wands. Oh, yeah, I've heard them. They've been on me. Yeah, so they're they have is basically a magic one with no cord. So it's all rechargeable. You could like carry it around everywhere. The cord is like it's always plugged into my bed. I get tangled up in it. Yeah, so I love. And you see the cord coming out of my bed into the my drawer. So you know that that's what it is. It's a whole thing. Um, okay, so there's the choices. I just want to always ask people about what toys I thing. Okay, so that's the choices. I always ask people about what choices. Okay, so back to the bindings stuff.

So what would be some beginner tips? Because I always say like get a blindfold, like just tie your hands back, or his hands back, or whoever wants to do it. Yeah, I think for me, and different people see BDS, I'm in a very different way. I'm not a pain slut.

So I'm not. You don't want the pain. I'm not a big fan of the pain. Like I like a little slap and tickle, maybe. Maybe some like light spanking. But for me, it's a lot about the mind fuck. Right. So it's a lot about the, the, you know, because I'm nerdy. So anything that plays with like my, my sense of, I don't know, um, reality versus, you know, control, like power

play, like control, like that kind of stuff, of stuff really plays into that part of my brain. Okay. Like I'm a big fan of erotica, I'm a big fan of kind of, you know, I'm super attracted to the guys who can write well. Me too, you know. I always date writers always like I just fall for their work. I seriously, every guy I've ever dated, like, not, or many men, I love the words, to do so many.

Like, through the brains, I just text or. It's not necessarily like, you know, like a guy coming up to you and having to pick up line. Like, pick up lines don't work. Really work. Just look at them laugh. But writing is so because it takes so much of you to kind of be that creative. And if you're that creative with your use of words, then I know you're going to be creative in bed.

Right. That's a good list. So then when you're tied up, and if you're not into like, you know, the the real pain So what happens when you're tied up typically when I'm tied up then there's a lot of forced orgasm play Which is why I like the magical a lot of forced orgasm Yeah, you know, there's a lot of kind of tease and denial. There's a little bit of Sensation play, you know, so like if you're using a blindfold, you can be like oh, I'm I'm not gonna tell you where I'm gonna touch You know, you have to just kind of

Especially when you're tied down You can't be like, oh, don't touch me there. So So that that's great. Right. You know, if they're doing like a hot sensation or cold sensation or what's coming next? Yeah, I'm not a big fan of surprises in general, but during like sexual play it heightens the experience. And are you blindfolded? Do you like to be blinded? I'm like, okay, so sometimes So do you have like a regular partner or different people you play with or? A regular partner.

Okay, that's good. And you kind of have to find out before. Like is it the kind of thing where you know beforehand that this is what they're into? Like is it like a deal breaker if they're not into this for you? No, God no. No, no, no.

I'm, my, my, what I like is the connection. So I could be with somebody who's not into BDSM and that's completely okay Okay, and I could be with somebody who is absolutely into that and then there's a lot of negotiation that's involved And I can you know, we just need to figure out what works for us, right? Which is yeah communicate and for me because my I'm not really into a lot of like pain play like I'm not into like whips and Cains and that kind of stuff like my my BDSM experience and what I like about it isn't necessarily the extreme stuff. So it's very easy for me to naturally transition into like a relationship with a guy who really isn't into that. Right. Right. No, I like that you're saying because people think it's just like one way that

gets got to be pain, it's got to be done, it's got to be other stuff, but no really it can just be to be out of stuff but no really it can just be. No, I really create it. It's all cerebral. Yeah, I totally got it. So how do you... When you're saying it's cerebral so you say you read a lot of erratica and... So what do you like? What kind of erratica do you recommend for...

I think it's great for couples to read together too. I mean I actually have a big fan of that one. Oh my god, I love this. I love this. I want to steal this but I know what you're only interested in. I'm going to go buy it tomorrow. Okay. Everyone go buy. Did I tell you this? Oh, it's not that expensive. It's only like six bucks. Oh my god. It's nothing. And you're going to be making a statement. Well, and the thing is not only is it like there's a profile

piece about me. And but something I do want to say is like the rest of the magazine is like every other pen house form. Like there's hot stories, you know, dear Penn House, I was at a resort with my wife and I saw this other couple and we totally got it on and she sucked my cock. And like that kind of stuff, you know, with additional photos of like Slender, regular, you know, like the standard men's magazine models. So there's plenty of like, wink material. Right. Exactly. And I think it's good for men and for women. So a lot of people email me like, how do we spice it up again or masturbation month? How do you do it?

And even for women, I give tips because a lot of the time I give tips for women, especially our masturbation because I think that, you know, there's a lot of women talk to you, they're like, oh, I don't fantasize. I don't think about it. And they might need some material. Yeah. It might help to read something like a penthouse forum

or other female erratica. Or read it with your partner. Yeah, and watching porn is great. Like I love watching porn. Like I'm a big fan of porn this time in it. But, but there are times where I'm like, you know, I want something that takes me a little bit longer than a couple of minutes to get there.

So erotic is really good for that. Cause the build up. Yeah, I'm a big fan of Jack Stratton. He's a writer out of New York. He has a website called Writing Dirty. And he actually has samples of his writing So you can kind of go without you know, you actually get samples of stuff Okay, also I love Rachel Kramer-Boss

Yeah, so Rachel Kimmer was great. She's like a war-winning. Yeah, exactly. And you can find those all a good vibes as well Yeah, she does she just knocks it out like every year. She does so well That's yeah, it's a good tip and for masturbation month. You should try it Yeah, never read any a radical have you never done it? Like just check out. It's a good tip. And for masturbation month, you should try it. You never read any erotica. Have you never done any? Just check out. It's a great way to get started. It is. It gets you in the mood.

It's wide-eyed. You know, as much as I do not like 50 shades of gray, it's, you know, people like reading, you know? Yeah, they do. And so, and so if you feel like they, like maybe you're a little bit, you're not in the mood to have sex with your partner or whatever it is. Just like have a night, like this is the thing about

masturbation month. Our masturbation anytime is like you've got to set a time and space for yourself turn off your cell phone, lock the doors, make sure no one's coming in, light some candles, pillows, whatever it is and like read something, watch porn, give yourself time and then you just start touching your body in different places, maybe that you don't normally, that you do a warm up. And this is what I've heard is people who maybe didn't start masturbating or don't have sex as much as often with their partners.

The more often you do it, the more sexual you get. Exactly. So it's like going to the gym. Right. So like make a regular habit of masturbating or having regular sex with your partner. And over time, you'll just eventually just be horny on. Right. It's so true. It's so true. Because the more I masturbate, I'm like, oh my god, I'm so true, but I just don't mean time. And then I do it. It's like a feedback. It's a great feedback loop. And everyone went, like masturbation is great for like indoor fins, go for dopamine, like all those like happy chemicals. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's

a great stress reliever. Yeah, we're also stressed too. That's another one of the biggest killer of sex drive for women and men. Is it, there's so much stress. It's so hard to turn off. You saw me when I came in here tonight. I was like, hi, I feel like that's why you need to come in.

I should have gone to bathroom masturbated. I would have been a whole different person, but it's also great for menstrual pain. I mean, it's like pelvic, all that. I know. So why not just do it? Why are you not masturbating this month? It's also good for guys too, because like with prostrate, you know? Yeah, exactly.

And I always love to talk about the flashlight because the flashlight is a great tool for it. It is. It's one of my extroperimasteration men, because we got a zillion toys for women, but I always say like it's a masturbation sleeve, it feels amazing. There's also that me out of a penis, sometimes I wish I did.

I was the first thing I would do was try that goddamn flashlight, but because it's so amazing, I feel from so many men I've heard, they're like, it really feels like you're having real sex, but they also have that stamina training unit that helps men if you want to last longer, or you want to do edging.

Yeah, exactly, you can do edging. Yeah, exactly. You can do a lot of stuff like that. You can like practice with it and go and stop right before you're going to come and then kind of like wait. And then you can start again. And like doing that is actually like going to the gym for your penis. Exactly. Yeah, we're about everything.

Yeah, so I also left flashlight. So you can check them out on my website. I've actually had a couple of my fans who are like a couple of my fans were saying, yeah, I'm totally going to use my flashlight and get this for because they already have them. Oh, they already have the pleasure. They have your flashlight, right? Which is now probably also going to be sold for like a couple of my fans were saying, yeah, I'm totally gonna use my flashlight and get this for it. Because they already have them. Oh, they already have the pleasure. They have your flashlight, right? Which is now probably also gonna be sold for like a thousand dollars. Yeah, whoever has any left that haven't been used.

That's amazing that you're the only one. You've had a lot of groundbreaking things happen. It's very happy to meet you, really. I am. So, how do you think, like, what's like worked for you when you meet guys? So like a transition, like, for when you meet men, you said you love how they write, but like, is there anything that the guys can do when you meet them that they immediately get your attention or things that have worked for you?

I am a big fan of guys who are polite. Manors. Yeah, manors. I mean, I'm also older, you know, so I think that, you know, the kind of guy like, you know, is in tune with the kind of person I am, especially at my age, because I'm 41. So it's like guys who are 41. You think you hate people that it's me too. I'm like, really? Yeah. So guys who are like in there, like, you know, I've tried. I've tried getting guys in their 20s. And you guys are amazing. But we just don't relate on the same level. It just doesn't work out. No, it doesn't.

We have nothing right, exactly. I totally get it. It's fun for like a night, but then, you know. It doesn't work out for like a relationship. So guys who are close to my age group mentally, because you are gonna run into like 50-year-olds who are not at your age mentally. Exactly.

But guys who are in a super polite, yeah, putty. And then do they, people men like recognize you on the street a lot? Or does that happen? I will now after this month. Maybe. I have a very, very comfortable level of fame where people, and in my fan base is super, again, super polite. They're super gentleman.

They're amazing. If they do recognize me, I tend to get a lot of emails or like Twitter or Facebook messages later saying, hey, were you at this concert or? I did, I get that too. They're like, I saw you and I'm like, oh God, what was I doing? And I was like, why don't you come say hi? They're like, well, we don't want to bother you

because you were with a bunch of people. And I was like, okay, you're just, you just want to make sure that like your friends didn't know that you knew me from before. Right, right. And I get that too. But no, I get that too. They're like, were you at the grove shopping mall

as we come like, why don't you say hi? People think like, I love if you said hi. Yeah. It made me so happy. Well, it's because I think they all hear the stories of like Brad Pitt don't you say, I have people think I love if you said, I'd be like, oh, make me so happy. Well, it's because I think they all hear the stories of Brad Pitt and like, I punch them in the face. Yeah, they're constantly being rocked.

Right, exactly. I don't get like a mob at the airport. So please, if you see me, please come say hi. Yeah, I will totally take a photo with you. I mean, we're doing a little video after Tuesday. You can check out the video, you can check out what you look like, and go say hi.

So I want to know, what is your experience been as a BBW, big, beautiful and performer bin? And do you feel that you cater to a specific audience? And if so, who's that audience? Well, I mean, the quick answer is guys who are into big girls, right? And the thing is there's guys who are into all sorts of girls.

And so my fan base is, especially because I'm Asian. I mean, I'm half Asian, but I look Asian. So my fan base, it's interesting because I get a lot of couples where the girlfriend or the wife is a plus size Asian girl. And so I'm like, oh, finally, there's porn out there where the girl on the screen looks just like my wife like Physically because so many women are insecure about watching porn because they feel like my boyfriend wants me to have fake boobs and

Look like this and that and yeah, right and in my case They're like oh Asian and plus size and so I'm comfortable watching that with my wife because that my wife where my girlfriend Doesn't feel like I'm trying to replace her with this Which is what so many women fear about porn that that's what he wants but it's really not about that it's just something separate that men do that I mean sometimes you can be about that but a lot of time's not but I love that you you are providing that and so is there any like would you say so that's kind of your audience I think mostly it mostly couples

and and guys who are just general like into big girls you know exactly and there's a lot there's guys into everything and also I also have a lot of fans who are just into me because my boobs are big Right, whenever it is big boobs. Yeah, so yeah, so what about when you're when you've been filming? So are you still doing porn? Yes. I know you still are. Okay, so so what What is like the most like embarrassing moment or something that's happened? You're doing filming that kind of pushed your limits Was there anything that was embarrassing or just awkward that you? Actually my most embarrassing moment turned out to actually be like a ha moment where I was filming

Usually do you right? So I was doing a scene in August with a guy It was like a boy girl scene. It's like maybe like my second year in the business and up until then I'd I'd been told especially with BBW, the point of plus size porn is that girls have to look pretty. So their faces have to look immaculate and gorgeous. And, and then like the body size is kind of secondary. And that's kind of what we were told. Like, you know, and and so I was doing a scene, you know, kind of like the the Bukaki movie, like in the middle of the summer, in a place with no air newer conditioning like Los Felis or something right right and

I started sweating and like my eyelash fell off I make up with smearing and I was like oh god This is probably like the worst scene. I'm gonna get horrible reviews. They're never gonna hire me again I'm just good And and then the movie came out and people were like that's the hottest scene ever How funny because it looked authentic. Right. Exactly. And everyone's into that.

What was like waste watchers from Zero Tolers. And like seriously, it was like five years ago. And it was really like my aha. I was like, Oh, okay. So I don't have to be all fakey-fakey. Exactly. People want real. Yeah.

I'm still putting on a performance when I do my scenes because my point is like I want the guy watching it to be able to have an orgasm. So it's not that important for me to have an orgasm on camera. Like I can do that at home. But I don't necessarily have to make sure that my makeup is on perfect. Right. Exactly. So after that, my performing style changed.

Right. Because you realize that that wasn't as important and you could just be yourself and be authentic. Right. So you don't necessarily have orgasms during. I do not. To do fake them. I've never even wanted to. I put on a very good show. You found a good show. Exactly. So because you just can't know because when I have an orgasm, I'm like, I'm like a dude. I want to take a nap. Yeah, I know. I seriously are like, can I take a nap or break here? Can I take a nap or just need a dude, I want to take a nap. Yeah, I know. I seriously are like, can I take a nap or break here? So how easily do you always be like, do orgasms easily do need certain, like, when I, I'm a literal orgasm or orgasm or orgasm or orgasm.

Right. Right. So when I use like a magic wand, I'm zero to 60. I'm done in like 30 seconds. I'm like, okay, and then I grab my pillow and take a nap for like 10 minutes. Right. Exactly. As soon as you like 10, do you remember like 10 seconds. I'm like okay, and then I grabbed my pillow and take a nap for like 10 minutes Right exactly as soon as you like 10 do you remember like 10 do you remember like those met can you have multiple orgasms with the magic wand? I cannot okay. No, I come really hard the first time right. It's amazing. It really is amazing I recently found out that I can squirt like in the past year from the wand. No fingers. Oh

A lot of women. Yeah, yeah, it was at the juice spot. They were touching you in a certain way Yeah, the whole like constant thrusting and like adding pressure And so like that's fun But yeah, I'm mostly a clear all right, okay. Yeah, so that's that's common most you don't get a lot of yeah You don't get a lot of clear all stimulation and porn no, you know, it's all about thrusting It is and that's that's a big point. We want to drive home, which I have on the show before is that the thing about porn is that it's obviously serves its purpose But but education speaking if you want to learn how to sex with a woman in a appropriate way like a lot of times it's Thusting you're the man's penis is nowhere near her clitoris. Yeah, and so she might not be you know some women can work as a

That way and I and I and I know that's off to those women. I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I't that be a submit if someone's would know because I'm laying there while somebody's doing all the work is not necessarily a submissive move. Like it's easier for me if I was laying there and they were like using the fingers or a magic wand and like doing a forced orgasm scene, but like for me, I just because it takes me a while to get there. Right. If it wasn't like fingers or a vibrator, after a couple of minutes, I just kind of feel bad. Right. You're like, Oh, you're spending so much time. No, you come back up here. Let me give you a blowjob. Right. Oh, because you're a giver. Because I'm a giver. I understand that. So also, what would you say is, okay, what's your favorite

form of kink that you do? Is it mostly like the FDSM? FDSM. And I also, I also do like a certain amount of breath play. But you do. Yeah, but that. I have a lot of that breath play. So obviously it could be very dangerous too. It's a whole lot of trust involved. So I don't do that with everybody.

No. You have to know what you're doing. Absolutely. Because there was someone on the show who told me that it helps enhance their orgasm when you hold your breath in it, not that we're going to. For me, it's mental more than the actual breath. It's the whole like being held down. Right. Yeah. And you can't bring you then. It's like, okay,

I got it. And okay, so are there any skills that you think that you've learned and porn that have improved your sex life that you could share? Like what do you think porn taught you about sex? Your own on a self, you're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit.

You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit.

You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. You're on a shit. Absolutely, you know, especially living in Japan. I'm sure and I developed early because I'm half Irish I have giant Irish boots right and so I developed early and I was always kind of chubby Looking back now. It's like this is the thing

It's like a lot of my friends do exactly the same things They look back at their like elementary school photos when they're like, oh my god. I was such a fat kid and they look and they're like I wasn't right, you know Yeah, you look back and you're like, oh, yeah, yeah, I wasn't I was good. All that big. Yeah, but you're teased for it because you're like the biggest girl in the class. And so you kind of carry that with you like through like your relationships and stuff. So you kind of have, I've always been very sexual, but I haven't always been, I've always been like, you know, let me cover up my summit. Let me cover up my, whatever.

And being in porn, I don't have any bullies. Like, you know, it's easy on Twitter or Facebook if you have somebody who's like, Oh, you're fat. And you don't like that kind of conversation. You just block them. Right. Right. Exactly. And the people that do contact you because they like you, like, it's extremely empowering to have people telling you that you are their fantasy because porn is fantasy. So if people are like, no, I'm going out of my way to find your stuff and I'm a big fan of your work. I'm kind of like, wow, cool. It really helps build your self esteem and it's with there for you having better sex. Yeah, so like I'm not condoning like all fat people should go into a certain place. Right, no,

no, no, we're just saying that fat people, whatever, people blood. No, no, no, no, no, people, I don't know, but I just don't know. But that, that, because that's people, whatever, people, bloodshed. No, no, at you like how you he's in the bedroom with you naked I'm pretty sure he wants to have sex with you if he's in the bedroom with you naked that he wants to be there Yeah, he's not like looking at like you know, no ever forcing him to be there right and whatever it is that you're worried about like He's not tripping on that. I can promise you that. Yeah, so are there any skills that you learned In porn or in life that you think that men need to know that they don't Typically like that you think that you like I wish guys knew this more girls overthink

Can we over think it girls tend to overthink everything you know I think we just naturally genetically just overthink everything so they're constantly Concerned about how they look or how they're acting or do things smell bad or through you know concerned about how they look or how they're acting or do things smell bad or you know, do I did I shave properly? And all we really need is a guy to say you're fine. You're beautiful. So easy like just everything's okay. Yeah, and you look great and I love you and you're beautiful and you're amazing and we all love compliments. I don't know that like guys don't know that um a lot of guys are like well I told you six months ago. Yeah, I know I'm like six ago. I need to hear it every day if I'm with someone like when you tell me something beautiful, you know, I mean I used to joke on my

show but I used to say like 10 times a day compliment your woman and like I know that's aggressive but even if it's like too. That's a little much for me. I don't know who you say fun to me but I was like no okay and Babu is trying to get my point across it like why not every time I get like beautiful like I love how you look today or like I just love you I think you're smart whatever it is we all want a little we just want a little affirmation we want affirmation my ex boyfriend is called affirmation nuggets like if I didn't get him from her I'd be email him and he'd say do you need a little affirmation nugget I'm like I do it he's like these little pellets you'd be like I think you're really hot I'm like thanks gotta go like I just like need it like feed my ego for a second and in my case, it's just time. Like if somebody would be like,

take the time to actually text me and say, hey, I'm thinking about it. Basically letting me know that they're thinking about me. I'm like, okay, I can run with that. Rest of the day. Exactly. Just a little something. A little something.

A little bit of check in there. And it's totally, you're absolutely right. Okay, so Kelly Shibari, you're awesome. I thank you so much for bringing this show. So it's K-E-L-L-Y. S-H-I-B-A-R-I. So that's at Kelly Shibari on Twitter and your website is Kelly Shibari Triple X. Easy. And then okay guys, seriously go buy this penthouse form. Now it's only

beyond sale for a month. It is a groundbreaking issue and they've never had a woman like she's beautiful on it and I love stories and everything and then support this mission, support this amazing like monumental moment in her life and life for BBWs everywhere. So thank you for being here. Thank you Anderson, how's your film vault podcast this week, anything we need to know about it?

It's almost good, I'm extra obnoxious on it, so I feel bad. I know I heard, I feel bad. I feel bad. I just got one email, actually two emails, but saying that I was a drunken loud. Were you drunk? I came in here with a couple beers on. Yeah. I just watched my hockey actually two emails, but saying that I was I was a drunken loud. Were you drunk? I came in here with a couple beers on.

Yeah. I just watched my hockey team and they lost. I understand. So they should understand that. We did top five houses actually by the time this ends. It's listen to question week. It's a really good one actually. We talk about a lot of very fun stuff and I also review some movies and

our own theaters right now. Okay, good. So everyone should check that out and thank you Kelly and thanks everyone for listening. You got should check that out. And thank you, Kelly. And thanks everyone for listening. You got to check me out at Facebook and Twitter on Instagram, sex with Emily. You can always email me your questions. You know I love hearing from you on any of those formats that you want to do it like Facebook, Twitter.

Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogyny candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends, and recently they were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emelie and Tony.

My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aroma therapy massage oils that when warm like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner or yourself. You can use it during for play and you know me.

I'm a firm believer in for play. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa, and fougère. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at EmilyAntoni.com. And you're welcome. Perhaps play a little game called Just a Tip. Just for a second, just a sec.

Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm Podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in iTunes. I'm Emily Morris, host of the Sex with Emily Podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and it's sexwithemily.com. And this is just the tip. So a lot of guys email in and they're talking about friends with benefits. How do I sleep with my friend and still keep it a friendship? Or I want to hook up with this girl, I know her from work and I don't want to date her.

What's up with friends with benefits? See that's a pretty popular scenario. Everyone thinks hey it's a win-win having sex with your friend it can be convenient. It's sex without the courting, they don't have to buy in flowers and they don't have to play mind games. I think if you can pull it off, friends with benefits can be a mutually beneficial relationship but here's some ups and downs door because it doesn't always work out because the upside It's sex without strings attached. Who doesn't want that?

You don't have the pressure of a relationship meaning the parents are watching too many chick flicks Just be honest about your intentions from the beginning Also, you know it's casual. It's convenient You don't have to go through the song a dance of flirting and courting and blah blah blah and it all works out However, the problem the downside is that most times in this scenario, someone's going to get more taps than the other one. Boo. Yeah, and that's usually the end of the Friends Advent生' graduation. You can say, oh I'm cool, I'm cool, if you're sleeping with HR and you're sleeping with him, that's cool, but eventually someone's heart gets broken and they think you know what, I can't handle anymore and then you've got to end it.

So I think it's so good as long as they last. So a funny game until someone's tires get slashed. Exactly. So if you think you're up for a no strings attached relationship, then do make sure you are honest with your friend as well as yourself. If you guys want to learn more from the art of charm about dating, relationships, and even networking for business, visit us at theartofcharmpodcast.com or check us out in iTunes and follow me on Twitter at theartofcharm.

And check out the section of the ElmiPodcast, it's section of the Elmi.com and iTunes if you want to have the best sexier life that is, also follow me on Twitter at sexwithemily.