Sex With Emily - Lovers and Friend Zones

Episode Date: August 15, 2015

On today’s show, Emily and her team dive into some serious subject matter surrounding sex, dating and friendship. Do you consistently find yourself stuck in the friend zone? Can blow jobs cure a bad day? How long should you wait after an unrequited “I love you?” With the help of producer Madison and assistant Alyssa, Emily gives advice on how to navigate those tricky situations in your love life and explains what to do if you get caught somewhere in the in-between.Whether you’re looking for the right words to say to your lover, a way out of the friend zone or you’re simply looking to squirt for the first time, this podcast is loaded with advice to help you achieve your sex and relationship goals. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show we're answering your top questions. Want to know how to avoid the friend zone? Can blow jobs heal anything and tips for learning to squirt? That's right, female ejaculation. All this and more. Thanks for listening. Okay, you all know that I love my magic wand, right? It's the Cadillac of all vibrators. Well, I've got exciting news to share with you all. right? It's the Cadillac of all vibrators. Well, I've got exciting news to share with you all. Vibratex, the company that brought you the original Magic One and they also brought you the Dahlia and the Rabbit Habit. They have changed the game with the Magic One. It is now rechargeable.

That's right, it's unplugged. This is the vibrator that was plugged into the wall. You've probably seen it. It's a big misoger. And now you can take it anywhere you want to go. It seen it. It's a big misogy, and now you can take it anywhere you want to go. It's amazing. It's the same toy that you've known and loved and trusted for all these for 30 years, really. And if you go to the website, you can check out its magic wand rechargeable. You can see all the testimonials of how people have used it and how it's changed your life. And if you don't have one yet, like I don't know what the hell you're waiting for, you should get one of these. Plus, the new one, it is improved. I gotta tell you, it has four intensity settings for amazing vibration patterns. And when I tell you, amazing, they will rock your world.

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It is Magic Wine Retardable or just go to my website, sex with mme.com, click on the banner and have some fun. Order this toy and change your sex life forever. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard, oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com.

You can listen to all of our podcasts. You can sign up for our mailing list. If you not sign up for our mailing list, like what the hell are you waiting for? Send you really good emails with information and people love our emails. I gotta say, but not only that on our website, we updated every day with new blogs and tips and tricks and videos,

and it is a free and good time over there. So check all of that out. Also, I am going to be in New York City September 18th to the 20th for the sexual health expo. I know you've heard me talk about the exo before we had one that was majorly successful in Los Angeles, then we did it again in Phoenix and now we're going to New York. So get your tickets and we're also, let me tell you about it first. So the top sex educators in the world are going to be there teaching workshops for two

days. I mean, workshop you might just fall asleep when I said that word because like, I'm like, really a workshop on a Saturday, it sounds like you're a college. No, these are like workshops about all the sex and relationship issues that you might be navigating right now. How you want to improve your sex life, how you want to be better in bed, how to give a good blowjob, how to negotiate a threesome, and just some, you know, some stuff that are a little more kinky just some stuff that are a little more kinkier, some stuff that are a little more just communication.

You will love it. Also the latest and greatest products on the market will be their on display. I will be there and I want to say hello to all of you. I'll be giving the keynote on Sunday. Check it out. Also, if you want to go, we're giving away free tickets. Email me, feedback at sexwithme.com and tell me why you want to go. Each ticket actually is good for two people

and we want to support you having amazing sex. So email us and also happy anal sex month. There should be like a happy anal sex month to you. Okay, I'm here with Madison Alyssa. Let me just say hello. Okay, so Madison, producer, Madison, Alyssa is my everything assistant. What are Madison's my everything. How do we say it? You're assistant intern. Yeah, we haven't got. We Okay, so Madison, producer, Madison Alyssa is my everything assistant. What does Madison's my everything?

How do you say it? Your assistant in turn. Yeah, we haven't got. We haven't got with an exact name but anything works. All of the people, this is my team. These are my homies. And today we are going to be, they're going to be with me on the show. And I just wonder which one I'm happy, 806 month too.

And we are teaching a workshop. Okay, House of Hollywood, August 25th from 8 to 10 pm. We are teaching a workshop. Okay. How's our Hollywood? August 25th from 8 to 10 pm. So it's called back to basics. And I'm going to be tackling some of your top questions and curiosities surrounding anal play. So common myths and misconceptions. We'll talk about prostate play, pegging, sex toys, loop, and more.

And also, if you missed last week's podcast, we had Charlie Glickman on talking about anal sex. And he is like the leading expert in everything anal. So you might want to listen to that as well. Please RSVP. So here's the thing, we do have a Facebook page. So if you go to my website, you can click on the banner and go there. But you might not want to, we want you to RSVM Facebook.

I'm not going to discourage you. But let's say you just don't want your mom knowing you're going to eat an old sex workshop. You can easily RSAP2HHRSVP at lfp.com, like LarryFlintProductions.com, LFP, and check it out. Come see us, you guys. They're really fun events, and they're not intimidating. It's not like everyone's looking at you and you're going to care about your old sex. You know, I sit there, we talk, I answer your questions, I'll give you all the tips you need to know and it's going to be fun night. Well drinks giveaways And it's a good time. So join us there. Okay. Hi guys. Hello. Hello I think we should have got some sex and news here Anything else going on you guys excited about anal sex month? How's it going? I'm excited. Yeah, I'm stoked. Love it

It's a big month, right? Okay, so we're gonna do a little sex the news first That's how it's called for. Super excited. Yeah, I'm stoked. Love it. It's a big month, right? You love it. It's crazy. Okay, so we're gonna do a little sex in the news first. Most people think that men and women can be friends. Which is interesting because I actually remember everyone saying that they can't be friends. You feel like most people think, no, no, no, you can't be friends.

But listen to this, most people have heard the dreaded friend zone, right? If you haven't, the friend zone is the phenomenon when you like someone, but they only see you as a friend. Whether you've experienced this before or think it's been used in some very sexist ways, a new study suggests that the friend zone isn't actually as much of a thing as we think it is.

Basically, it seems most people really do believe that platonic relationships between men and women are totally possible. Meaning, we do think we can be friends with someone of the opposite sex without it being deemed the friend zone. Okay, and I don't really agree with their interpretation of the friend zone because the friend zone is when you actually want to be to someone and they don't want to be with you, which is actually one of our emails.

But the study question was conducted by researchers at University of Alabama, and I tried to get everyone's opinions about male and female friendships. So plenty of studies have suggested that platonic friendships between the sexes is difficult, however, even in non-romantic relation to a straight men and women are rare.

The survey responses indicated that they think they're completely possible, and that's actually pretty encouraging. Men and women aren't actually all that different, and two people with different genders can find plenty of reason to want to be around each other without sex or romance entering into the equation. So it's good that our society is still getting used to that idea.

Of course, the researchers also ask how often participants thought such friendships might have involved hidden romantic feelings, the result on average. People estimate that occurred 63% of the time. Okay, so this whole study makes no sense to me because if 63% of the time there's some romantic interest, are they saying like initially it started? Because I believe that a lot of friendships between straight men and women start out because one person has feelings. Yeah, agree.

Oh, absolutely. Do you guys agree? Mm-hmm. And then maybe decide, we're just going gonna be friends, but typically it's because someone gets a boyfriend, girlfriend, and sometimes in real instances, you're just like, oh, we've just been friends for years and we never have that, but I don't know. I mean, what's been your experience?

Because to me, this says that it's like the same thing that it is sort of the friend zone. All of my, yeah, like I've always had a series of best guy friends. Like I can like almost define my life by like, oh, who is my best guy friend at the time? And they've always kind of started as like a flirtation that just stopped at that.

And so I've always had like really like close comfortable relationships with my guy friends and it's like maybe one day for one of us there was the idea of feelings that would develop eventually or we just would stop hanging out after a while. Like it always exists basically. And now, yeah, now I have a lot of platonic guy friends was the idea of feelings that would develop eventually or we just would stop hanging out after a while. It always exists, basically.

And now I have a lot of platonic guy friends and that's because I have a boyfriend. Right, exactly. It is easy. Well, I would think that I always think that it's easier when you do have a boyfriend or girlfriend to have the friendship. I have a ton of guy friends too,

but I have to say when I go back and I'm really close guy friends, that it did start with them, initially an, initially like an interest usually on their part where I was like, you know, I don't think so, and then I might have gotten a boyfriend, and then we did stay friends. And some of them I actually did end up having sex with like maybe once.

I actually forgot about that. Did I talk about this in the show last week? I think so. I think a Guy friend in New York, we were hanging out like in just as friends, because I forgot we'd slept together, he's like, you don't remember having sex on Mission Street in the alley? I'm like, oh God, I wasn't really drunk.

So I guess we did hook up. But the truth is, you know, you kind of good guy friends, but I think a lot of times, I don't think there's a lot of guys walk around going, I really would wish I had more female friends. You know, you're just like, I wish I had the guy just wanted to get some women to the bone. And what about you, Alyssa?

I agree on the same thing. I mean, in high school, I had a huge group of guy friends. And we were all really close. And there was maybe one, two, you know, that we'd have the same thing. I mean, in high school, I had a huge group of guy friends. And we were all really close. And there was maybe one, two, you know, that we'd have the feelings with. The rescue stays totally platonic. But there's always been at least a little bit of interest, I feel, like between one.

And, you know, it's hard to find just the solid friendships. But they exist. When I was with my ex, I was really close with his two best friends. Stayed friends with them now, you know, totally platonic friendships. But he was always jealous and was like, my friends can't be just friends with you. Oh see that's...

I would think that he would have been psyched at his friends like, you see that's kind of guy you want to be with. My friend loves you, like he was a little too jealous. Yeah, so jealous guys, that's so tough dating a jealous guy, like I can't date me. If I'm the worst person to date, and you're like a mocha of jealousy in your bones, it's not gonna work. That's not going to work. That's true. Yeah.

OK. These are the 10 cities where men have the most sex. OK. One would assume major cities like Los Angeles, New York, and Trenton, New Jersey, whatever, would be the most likely spots to bang as many women as possible, possibly. But according to the study from seekingaragement.com,

they're not the top spots where guys are getting laid the most. So this recent study reported, let's see, well, most of the sugar daddy site too. Oh yeah, I know sugar daddy. These are going to be on my social a long time ago. Okay. So most sugar daddy's reported having two or four sexual partners annually. What's that? The sugar daddy site.

Does it matter if they're sugar daddy? I don't know. Confused by the study. Okay. but anyway, here's the top 10 cities So because seeking arrangement a host of website called sugar daddy's, but that's not who only answered this It's men answered this so this is the deal the top 10 cities the most promiscuous cities Number one should we start at 10? Yeah Portland Oregon 56% Number one, should we start at 10? Yeah, let's go down to the top. Portland, Oregon, 56%. We're people are kinky and Portland.

Yeah, it's weird. Phoenix, Arizona, 57%. Those are the weird ones. It's kind of warm, I don't know. You're outside, you can cactus, and the deserts. I don't know, so. Washington DC, 61%. I can see that. People are like super type A. Work at a hard drinking a lot, banging.

Chicago, Illinois, number seven. to stay warm when it's cold. Yeah Exactly. That's another big drinking. That's hook up cities number six Las Vegas, Nevada Shocker 65% yeah, I thought it would be Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 66% where there's bored. There's not a lot to do out there. That's why I am for Charlotte, North Carolina 69% Scottsdale, Arizona 72% that's two places in Arizona That's the one I have trouble with right there. So I've been to Scottsdale. There's nothing happening in that entire city Oh college town Yeah, but then you would think that you would see it like I mean

That's where like Phoenix is and Tucson and stuff but Scottsdale is like golf time. No, it is golf time Yeah, family there. I don't think they're having a lot of sex. That's the largest city they associate with in this study. We did do the sexual affects about that also. Old to old people. A lot of sugar daddy's there, maybe. That's true, maybe that's why.

They're like, yep, golf at all the time. Because they think they are the forgot, see now, okay, to Hoboken New Jersey 73% and San Jose, California, 70%, 4% all those wealthy tech dudes, I guess. I guess so. In San Jose, I know, Silicon Valley, but I don't know. Menace, he was here, he loves San Jose. Menace is so funny, because he literally,

when we live in the Barra, he goes to San Jose, and I've never been with him there, but apparently people are way even doing them. They love him, like he's like, I'm going to San Jose. He's like, that's that's like his stop and ground Maybe he got laid there a lot way we'll have to ask them. Yeah, I'm going to San Jose at the end of the month So I will keep it I have for all that sex yeah I'll keep it up. I need you some underground under cover reporting. Oh, I'll ask around all that's great

Thank you very much. I appreciate it. Okay, so let's get into some emails Thank you everybody for emailing me feedback at sexwithme.com. I love hearing from you and I love it even more when you include your age and where you live and also how you listen. So appreciate it. Okay, dear Emily, first things first, Aliza 24,

Santa Cruz, I listen through iTunes. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now, and it's going very well. Whenever I'm stressed out or upset, he does whatever he can to relieve my pain, which I so dearly appreciate. I'd like to do the same for him when he is a bad day, but I'm lost in how to do that. This is something I feel that I'm bad at with anyone, not just my boyfriend. I usually try to have him talk about whatever the issue is, or repeat him him how much I love him and appreciate him, or surprise him with his favorite candy. I've thought of offering blow jobs when he is a bad day, but I don't know if it would be welcome

or not considering his mood. It feels weird to just jump into something sexual when he's feeling down. We have an awesome sex life and are openly communicating about it. The only reason I have an asthma if I can blow him when he's upset is because I don't want to make him upset. No, I don't want to make it already bad day worse by putting a sex issue on the table. Do you have any tips on how to help a man who is an awful day feel better? Maybe menace can weigh in. I'd love to hear male perspective. Thanks for the awesome show. You've helped my sex life more than you'll ever know. Thanks to Liza. Okay, so here's a thing to Liza. I think you're probably a lot better at cheering up folks

than you think because you are even conscious of it. Most people don't even think about that as they go through their day-to-day life. And here's a thing though. Well, first of all, let's get into the type of the blowjob thing. Like we always say blow jobs are like flowers for men. And so yes, a blowjob could be welcome, however, another thing that is true of men is when they are stressed

or having a bad day or worried about money, typically sex is the last thing on their mind. I'm not saying a blowjob might temporarily raise his, I was gonna say raise his mood, raises his mood, improve his mood, but and raise other things. But, you know, I mean, I think the real issue, though, the blowjob, it just just kind of a bandaid.

And so, if you think about communication between a men and women, I always think about men of a Mars woman, if you guys ever read that book, like, I know I'm 20 years ago. There's a thing. There's a thing. People laugh about it, because it really was one of the first, like,

relationship books that came out and it sounds so silly. But John Gray is actually a renowned expert in men and women communications. And it's, I just, it always stuck with me that, you know, how differently truly are. And there were always trying to like, you know, why can't I'm with a guy and he'd be my best friend and my lover and my whatever. But we just, there's so many ways that we're different, but when it comes to communication, you know, when women, when we're upset, we wanna talk, we wanna call our friends,

that's how we feel intimate. We get closer to each other's girlfriends, when we talk, we share something deep, or something hard, and we're like, oh my God, where so much closer. Men, not so much. The more they talk, the talking is a tool they use to get a point across in order to achieve

a goal or problem or something or solve a problem. You think that they would want, again, we think they'd want to do the same, but they don't. They doesn't want to talk about feelings necessarily. You can't force a man to talk about his feelings. How we get our intimacy through talking, they get it through touching and sex and physically doing things for women.

This is what I always want to say. It's like you might give him a blowjob and you might feel intimate, like you connected, but as far as taught, if you force him to talk about his feelings, he might present to you, he might feel like you're trying to parent him. And so you kind of just want to read him and wait out. And sometimes it helps with men to kind of talk about how you're doing because it takes them away out of their head. And like with girls that wouldn't work like a list of UK man You're like either worse day got a car accident. I was like really? Because I just had like the best day of our I just like I just got one lottery like whatever He girls we don't want to we don't do it that you know saying for man

He might just want to hear what's going out with you and then let him like open up a little more because if you do You know Your concern could translate like into distressing him and all this. There's other things, you know, that he might feel defeated because for men, it's hard to admit they're having a bad day or they're having this. I'm not saying all men, I'm just saying for many. So feel out your guy, but it sounds like you guys, you know, you're have a lot of open communication. So, but black to the blow jobs though. I would say, you know, you could also just say,

you look really stressed out. Let me give you a massage. You could give me, you know, say, what can I do? I'm gonna feed it to that too. Yeah, exactly. And then you could flip it over and whatever, give a blow job.

What do you think, Madison? You're in a relationship, serious relationship with your boyfriend. What do you do when he's in a bad mood? I think that if I started treating his bad days with blow jobs, he would start having more bad days. Like, he would just be like, all right. Now that I know that that works, no, I think that actually,

just my boyfriend being who is and being very sexual and everything, like he would love that. A lot of times when he has that a bad day, he wants sex because that's how he feels close. So you know how you, yeah, you gave me the whole Emily taught me one time about how we experience love. Like I think it's like how we love or something like that and you were telling me about it.

Oh right, it's the love language. Oh love languages. Like Chap and the Five Love languages. Yeah. That's the one. So when, so like Emily and I had a discussion about it and she told me about the Five Love languages and I took this like little quiz and then I had him take the quiz, and he experiences love through like touching

and through like close intimate connections, whereas like I would rather have someone talk to me or you know, right, ask me about it. But so he would love that. I don't know, it just depends on the guy and his sexuality, like his level of sexuality, I think. Right? Yeah, what do you think, Alyssa?

In this exact situation, I think it seems like she has a pretty good idea kind of that he might be interested in that. If she even offered it in the first place, you know, thinking like, what can I do to make him better? Candy, blowjob, both of those things sound great in my book after a bad day. Exactly. And, you know, it sounds like it's a typical bad day. Sometime, you miss your Uber.

I was going to say buzz, but that doesn't happen to all of us anymore. She might be overthinking it. That's a really good point. And She might be questioning herself a lot, maybe she should just try it. I mean, no guys would be like, I can't believe you can do no job when I was a child. But she might have put my penis away. People might be like, I can't believe you're minimizing my anxiety and my pain, just sucking on my penis. If that ever happened in the world, I don't know. Email us, we want to hear this. We'll be having a young year. But I just wanted to say a little bit

about how men and women are different. But again, your boyfriend is different than every other man, too, because we're all different. But it's good to know those general points when you're going launching into an argument with the guy, you know, what's going to work, what's he going to understand or not? Exactly.

Exactly. And the five love, the gift you get to get back that it is a good book. There are five ways that we've learned. And it's how we were brought up, burdened and how we experienced love. And it's words of affirmation. is a good book. There are five ways that we've learned. It's how we were brought up, burdened, how we experienced love, and it's words of affirmation, just so I can go and talk about it.

It's physical touch. And usually there's two that are predominant. There's acts of service. So like if my boyfriend filled up my car with gas, you know, or empty the dishwasher. There's quality time. So some of you were like every Saturday night. I need to see you just with no cell phones.

And then the fifth one is gifts. Gifts, gifts. So some of people were like every Saturday night. I need to see you just with no cell phones. And then the fifth one is gifts. Gifts. Gifts. So, some people were like, God, when you bring me a gift, I feel, you know, so much better. And it's really interesting to take this test because you realize like, for example, like for me, it's words of affirmation and physical touch.

Well, if I'm with a guy who like never isn't cut a lead, doesn't want to touch, or doesn't ever say like, you know, you're great, or I'm feeling really good about it. I was like, I'm gonna feel like he doesn't, he's not that into me, but if he brings me gifts all the time, I'll have a nice turn that they are. No, but I mean, I'm saying it, that wouldn't mean love.

I mean, like, what's he artificially trying to, but for some women, I know a lot of people. And it doesn't mean that your partner, you have to find someone who has the same two love languages, it just means that you have to understand. I'm communicating about it too. Right, exactly. So it's a really, I think it's really, really useful, because, you know, you can also work on a relationship, same two love languages, it just means that you have to understand them. And communicate about it too. Exactly.

So it's a really, I think it's really, really useful because you can also work on a relationship. You find out that your partner just might not know that you want him to make quality time. Like you want him to make plans every Saturday night with you. So anyway, it's called Gary Chapman. The five love languages. The five love languages. Yeah, I highly, I highly suggest bringing it up with your partner if you're in a relationship.

Yeah. It was awesome. Yeah, like, what's nice out there? And like, I made him take it too. And he was like, this is how I experience love. And I was like, this minus, the words of affirmation and services, doing nice things for me. Those are like my two high ones.

Yeah, my two biggest ones. And he picked up your cell phone today. I know, he did. He went and he did that and he took care of it. Yeah, guys, I lost my phone in a lift last night and the lift driver drove away and then my boyfriend drove all the way to Culver City this morning to pick it up for me

and then came back, dropped it off, and then went to work. So, okay, so when you guys had this talk, I know that you're going to have to have to have but I love, like, do you feel like you learned more about, like, it's changed things? Absolutely, and then, like, his other thing was quality time. And, like, I didn't realize that that was something

that was as important to him as it is. Like, I knew the touch thing, he's just a touchy person. And I'm not the most touchy person. You're not, like, you're not. I'm like, Madison, I'm coming in for a hug. I'm not like afraid of touch, but I'm definitely not like the most like, cuddly of human beings.

And I know he is. So I work hard to do that. And he's not great at expressing feelings and stuff. So he got better at that. Like, after I told him, he told me like, I, he started. So I work hard to do that. And he's not great at expressing feelings and stuff. So he got better at that. Like after I told him, he told me like, I, he started like trying to tell me I love you, like every day at least once. Like it was great.

It was really awesome. My relationship. That is time. Yeah, it was good. That was my heart. Yeah, so we'll have to test with you. Yeah, I, I love to do that. I think I did it before and I don't remember.

I only remember physical touch was in there. Yeah. Now I remember my sisters was gifts and I made fun of her for that. Yeah. I never, I mean, yeah. I did that myself. So I never was that big about buying gifts on time. Yeah. And now I make sure I like I have some things for her. Exactly. No, I know she true. It's so true. I mean, I have a friend where I have best friends. And she's not like superficial. She's not like where, but she, when she got married to her husband like 15 years ago, she was really upset that like he always messed up her birthday. She's like, he never gets to do what he wants. And like, at the same time, I was always like,

huh, but, you know, that's how her dad always gave her a lot of gifts, so whatever. Okay, let's move on to the friend zone. Hey, Emily, my name is Drew. I'm 21 year old college student at West Virginia University. I've been listening to the podcast for a couple months now, and I love it. You and your various co-hosts are hilarious.

PS Menace is my boy, LOL. Have great advice and have great advice and hopefully I'll get to use in the future. I'm pretty single now. And dating here at WVU kinda blows. It's either Tinder or meeting girls at parties, bars for the most part. I've been noticing this trend lately

that the only girls that seem to be into me are my friends that are in relationships, like four or five of them. They like touching down into my thighs, texting me at late night to come over and hang out. I'm not pursuing them or doing anything to warrant their attention besides being myself, which is friendly, but I know when the real lines are. I don't plan on acting on this, but it seems pretty odd. Any help or advice, why I might be attracting this attention? Thanks again. Can't wait to hear from you and listen to your show more from Drew. Okay,

so when I first saw this, I was thinking it was the, he was like falling into the friend zone, but this is a little bit different. This is kind of what we, it's kind of like, because the friend zone is like typically when women just friend zone you. And so since I announced I was going to talk about that, I can get back to that in a second, but really, he's a good guy, and he's drawing these unavailable women. So he's kind of just a really good friend and doesn't really want to violate. Because there are a lot of guys who only date with them

with girlfriends, they say, it is a challenge. So it sounds like, you know, that they're using you. He's like their emotional fluffer, basically. Like, it's a coin a term from, I think it was a new girl that that was on, but it's like, basically, they can't have their boyfriend with them. So they're like bringing him in to get that like emotional connection and they'll like fire and all of that. He's just a substitute and that's like, bummer.

Exactly. Or guy. So it's not cool. They're like also like flirting with you and rubbing their hands on that. Yeah, it seems almost more sexual in that too texting late at night to come over. Exactly. I mean, is it like a college thing where they have boyfriends, but aren't that serious about it and are calling him? you would move your hands on that. Yeah, it seems almost more sexual in that two texting late at night to come over. Exactly. I mean, is it like a college thing where they have boyfriends but aren't that serious

about it and are calling him or is it more? Right, is it connected? It's kind of unclear into which side it kind of goes into more from what we said. Exactly. But I would also say just stop spending all your time with these women too. Like, I get it with your friends, but if you're looking for someone to date, that's not really, unless they tell me to bring a lot of their single friends next time. Yeah. And let it be known to them that you respect them and their relationship and you're looking for someone to date, that's not really, unless they tell me to bring a lot of their single friends next time and let it be known to them

that you respect them in their relationship and you're here to help them, but it's not cool for them to be, that's, I, for the whole, it's so rare that you're from a guy who's not cool with you and then I'm just like, you sound like a really good guy, Drew. And just go out and start talking to women.

And again, there is a little bit of friends on this because why he is so many good girlfriends that have seen him as a friend. So that's typically when an individual like a friendship develops more than one person has wants more than the other one and more often than not the other person is unaware of the friend's desires and quite happy with the friendship only arrangement and then that person gets stuck in the friend zone. We often hear from guys a lot saying they're stuck in the friend zone and they're unable to transition from girlfriend to boyfriend.

And so being stuck in a friend's table wanting more is so frustrating. And so it's a lot of times it's like sexually motivated. So you can't get out of it when you think about it. A lot of the guys get in the friend zone and I've said these experiences because they, they're really nice guys. They like start doing things for you

and they're like, I'll be your target. But I'll pick you up here and I'll run this errand for you. Or I'll help you fix your curtains or get put the gas in your guard, do all that stuff. And you're thinking like, God, you know, he's not even hitting on me or trapped me, but he's being a really nice guy. You're kind of acting as he will target boyfriend. So I think if you meet a woman that you're really attracted

to or a woman you meet a guy or a track to, you gotta let that be known like right away. No, no, this friends don't get because because it's a negotiation relationship and if you're giving up all this at the beginning and showing that you're a friend, hoping that it's going to turn into romance, third is going to see as a friend. So you have to sooner than later just make the move, ask them on a proper date, you know, if you've got a date, like try, you know, if it gets touched then like change your body language up so they know that you're interested and then you can just avoid that.

Yeah. And friends don't happen to girls too. It does happen to girls. It does happen to girls. Been there. Okay. Yeah, it definitely does happen to girls all the time. So another thing I was going to say about that is just be, you know, if you are on the

friend zone, be less available and less interested. It's okay to just take a step back. You know, I'm not saying that you're needy, but if you want to test it out and see if they're really interested, make yourself just let do they want to they miss you. They miss having you round. Do they reach out more and just don't be yeah, don't be as available. So that's a deal. Okay, so let's uh, don't mess with me. Let's see some dad reads. Let's talk about some some things that will change your sex life. Okay guys, this product, going to journey with me here, okay? Pretend you're lying on your back.

No, you know that your pelvic floor muscles, keg-al-actercises, are so important for men and women, but not right now I'm going to focus on women's pelvic floor. So we might do a lot of things to stay in shape, go to the gym, we exercise, we do all these things, but our pelvic floor was sometimes being ignored. Doing caggle exercises, it's kind of hard to remember to do them. I do an iPhone app called caggle camp, but really sometimes that's uneven enough to like sit there for five minutes, although it does help some people. It's kind

of like if you've been with the gym on the treadmill and you thought you know it'd be great. If I could be eating pizza and exercising at the same time, or I wish these pushups would at least give me an orgasm. Unfortunately, we rarely get to experience pleasure while maintaining our health and wellbeing until now. Okay, so there's now a product that does your kegels for you. It gives you mind-blowing orgasms at the same time. This exists people. It's an exercise routine that this one you are gonna remember remember to keep up with. Intensity. It is called the intensity. It's a revolutionary,

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Because you will have stronger orgasms. You'll tighten them up everything down there. You will not have any more of your any accountants like after childbirth or when you just pee and sneak when you sneeze and pee, jumping on trampoline. That's what when you laugh so hard and you pee, it just happens, it gets looser. And study show that 43% of women experience difficulty in doing sex at some point in their

lives, okay? Can you guys all relate to that? When you do these exercises, your muscles down there become stronger, you're going to want sex more, you're going to have stronger orgasms. So, take out the intensity. It's at P.O. It's Pormois P.O. You are M.O.I. dot com. That's P.O. You are M.O. I. dot com and Check it out by intensity and change your life, change your sex life. Yeah, yeah, do it. Do it. We're all excited to try ours. I'm very excited

How to squirt Let's get into squirting. I'm very excited. How does Squirt? Let's get into Squirting. You're into Squirting. Squirting is a new anal. What am I? But I think Pegging is a new Squirting now. Well, yeah. I don't know.

I kept saying Squirting was a new anal. It was a new blow job 10 years ago. And now Squirting, I think, is a new anal. We're going to be able to do it all these summer. I mean, yeah, I think it's made this up. But it's. Pegging is a new one, too. Yeah.

Pegging is kind of like, woo, really? Yeah, it's pretty. Pegging is when you wear a harness to manually penetrate your partner with a dildo. Right. Thanks. But thanks Dan Savage. We're talking about Scroding. Hi, Emily. First of all, thank you.

You've already answered so many questions I've been wanting to know. But here's the most important that I have, and I can't seem to do. How can I make myself Scroart? Please help. Thanks. Back. Female.

Scroding, I also think the reason why squirting didn't come up, because people are saying it's important all the time now. So, they want to know how to squirt. And so, there are all these books and studies and things like, any woman can learn to squirt. Anyone, I don't believe that any woman can do anything, okay? But you can try this out. I'm going to give you some tips about how you can learn to squirt.

It all comes from G-spot. It's all G-spot simulation, and it might not just like having a G-spot organism, might not happen the first time, might not happen the second time, but that's how it happens is through your G-spot and you would jacklate through the simulation. So, it might be difficult to do on your own,

but it's worth a try, and there's no reason you can't position your fingers the right way or use G-spot sex toy. So a G-spot sex toy just curves silly upward and it curves her G-spot, which is two inches upside toward your belly button, like use the com-head or motion. I don't have to explain this,

so I always wonder if everyone knows what I'm talking about when I say two fingers inside the com-head or towards your body. I feel like that's a very good description. You don't need to see it necessarily. You all get it, okay? Go through our website. Google G-Sci.

Okay, so first thing to do, have you guys scored it first of all? I have not. Yes. Yes, you have. Always an accident. Yeah, I accident. Yeah, I don't, I can't like make it happen.

And it's a big discussion in my bedroom about wanting it to happen on command. And I'm like, I don't work that way. Right, exactly. But it's got, yeah, yeah, it's a big discussion in my bedroom about wanting it to happen on command. And I'm like, I don't work that way. Right, exactly. But it's got, yeah, yeah, it's a popular thing. I'm telling you, it is not pee. She's not peeing on you, BTW. OK, so first, make sure that you're relaxed and comfortable.

Just like anything sexual, it's impossible to really enjoy it and to make it happen. It's the most pleasure when you are tense. For plays important too, before you can even have a G-spot orgasm, oftentimes you just need to be really aroused and have a clitoral orgasm so you might want to venture down that road first, get fully aroused in the mood, get into the mindset, because your G-spots actually easier to access once you have a clitoral orgasm because that whole area becomes engorged.

It's another word that I don't love engorged, but more turned on and more easy to find. And then you got to find your juice spot. So you can use two fingers or a toy, use lube, always use lube, and insert them into your vagina palm facing up. Like I said, located two inches inside the vagina, and you'll hit like a round ball of skin that's a little rough. It can feel like like peach pit. And that's your juice pot.

And if you want to stimulate it, it's kind of like how you would stimulate it trying to have a juice pot orgasm. You can push on it and see how it feels. It's not so much like a hard pressing, it's more of like a pressure. And then you can stroke it and you can apply pressure to it and just keep stroking it, applying pressure.

So you're stroking, pressure, pressure, stroking it, applying pressure. And it might even start to become to feel more solid. And you might feel like you have to pee. But really, you might be about to have an orgasm or you might be about to ejaculate. And maybe both at the same time. So you want to introduce a toy. You can also put a toy in. We like the GG2 from Lilo. That's a great one. You can go to Good Vibes. You just keep on going only, get one of those.

Because again, fingers at G-Spot are even more likely to make you squirt and have a G-Spot than a penis. Sorry guys, it's true. So, for some, make sure that you pee first, because if you have a full bladder, you just all might be really confusing. Keep yourself open and relaxed. Just let it like let it flow You'll feel a sense let it flow You you just once you get this feeling and you have enough of this stimulation with the fingers because you might have a g-spot

Orgasm during sex and doesn't happen that way that's why I'm gonna leave push you towards using your fingers You might feel it like it's about come it's about to come out and nothing happens. But if you just sit there and you sit with this motion of the pressure and the stroking, you just might ejaculate. And it's about training. So during female ejaculation, it's a clear fluid that will squirt

or sprinkle out of your wreath, your wreath, and it can be a lot. It can be a lot, like it can wet the bed. Yes, I've squirted as well. I'm gonna say here, it's my birthday first time I said it. Yeah, I don't think you mentioned it. I'm sure.

I can squirt, I've been known to squirt. Not every time, but sometimes. And so, listen, if you're with the squirter and it upsets you, well, you probably shouldn't be that person. But really, because if you're with dude or girl, you're like, you know, I don't like it, it's messy. Like, or if you're a girl, you're like, I don't like that I squirt. You can find someone who's probably totally into it. Or if you're upset by the mat, you're like, it's messy, like, or if you're a girl, you're like, I don't like that I squirt,

you can find someone who's probably totally into it or if you're upset by the met, put a towel down, you guys. Yeah, putting the three towels down, who cares, it's sex, sex is messy and sexy. Yeah, okay. I had a guy friend in college who was dating a girl and I didn't know her name,

I only knew her by like the story of her like, ajaculation, which was legendary. And he would, they would have to sleep on the couch. Like they would be hooking up in his bed. He would make her square and they would both have to go sleep on the couch that night. Just like their roommates would wake up and they'd just be there. Because they couldn't sleep in the bed.

It is true. Like you can get like water. Like if you know, yeah, you got to just you got to clean it up because it gets so close to the mattress. Yeah, it's true. Yeah, but it's no problem. It's no problem, people. Just also the magic wand can be a great way to score. Yeah.

And what else I want to say that it is, well, always going to say that it's a lot of fluid, a quarter cup sometimes, and it is. People who don't know, is it urine? You know, there are traces. It's from the periorethral duct, and there might be traces of urine in it, but you can tell the difference. It is female, Jacqueline. Yeah. I don't think that if it was fully urine that so many dudes would be open to it being on their face. Right. Let me just say, that's like a big fetish the guys have. It's a good point. Yeah. Although there are people who are into that kind of thing, but

that's true. You're right, but a lot of guys will face this way. Okay. Okay. Anything sweet? One more. Okay of guys will be as good as we are. Oh, okay. And you think, should we want more? Okay, guys, we have time for one more. Okay, and on return, I love you. What does it mean? Dear Emily, my boyfriend I've been together for nine months. He's 28 and I'm 25. About a month ago, I told him that I've been loved with him.

He does not feel the same way, but assured me, he's never felt this strongly about a girl before. And he thinks he could love me in the future. I accepted his response and decided that it was enough. Lately though, I'm feeling like it is enough. I feel left out of his life a lot and feel like he'll never love me. I feel like I'm unlovable.

How do I cope with these feelings? I want to be patient, but I'm also afraid of being heartbroken at the end of this. Thanks, Nicole. Is that ever happened you guys? Has not happened. So I love you first. Yeah, me neither.

I've, but. I have my vulnerability. But Nicole, here's the thing. I know, serious state of rejection. It's pretty scary. And so it's bold that you said it, you know? I'm part of you for saying it. But you know, there is no guarantee we give sometimes

and so we can receive what we give and you were feeling it in the moment. But be aware that, you aware that he is not ready. He is telling you how he feels and it doesn't happen the same for everyone. He says he's not rejecting you. He's saying that he might not be there yet. So I like that he's being honest with you

and he's telling you that he authentically just might not be there. But I feel like you're also projecting some insecurities. You said that you feel lovable. I'm not sure if this is brought on just by the situation or if you have often felt unlovable in your life. Because a lot of us feel, have walked around with feelings of feeling unlovable,

could come from childhood. We feel like we're never good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, all that stuff. And so if you do are having unlovable feelings, then I would say, you know, you gotta look at where they come from because a lot of times we think that, you know, once he loves me or once this person gives me

validation, I'm gonna feel better. I'm gonna feel like loved. But the truth is, no one can ever fill us up enough until we love ourselves. And that is a lifelong journey. That is the hardest work you can do is learning to love yourself. So I don't know if there was again, if there was other stuff that happened in your

life, Nicole, you know, if there might be some therapy that you need here, I'm not even like, thing, I don't know if this is just kind of from the boyfriend, but if this is something that you feels familiar to you and you walk around feeling like you're not good enough and not love, you know, you might want to get some get some work on it because your boyfriend, no matter how much he does tell you, he loves you eventually and you still feel, you might still feel unlovable. So I wouldn't worry about it so much. I mean, I wouldn't, if you still love him

and you like being in the relationship, I think you can stay in the relationship unless it starts driving you crazy. What do you guys think? Yeah, I think that if she's really that afraid, because I understand the whole vulnerability thing, like as you were saying, that's a scary thing. And not only that, it's scary to feel like you're all in and someone else isn't.

Absolutely. So I think what she should be doing instead of sitting around worrying about it is she should get herself out in the world, go hang out with girlfriends, go get a hobby, read, do stuff to fill up your life on your own. One, it's going to make you feel better about yourself and make you a little bit less like caring worrying about the demise of this relationship. And too, it is going to make him be like, oh, hey, like she's run around doing her own thing. Maybe the feelings will come faster.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's true, the busy you are in the relationship and the more, I mean, that's always more attractive to keep your own life and to keep yourself important. Yeah, and not just like focusing your whole life around your boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. I have nothing better to add to it. She said aside from that, just kind of see how it goes over the next couple of weeks and month again.

Like you said, if she's driven crazy by how the relationship is developing, then yeah, if it gets to an unhealthy point or where you're more unhappy than she would be happy, then that seems like it's a point to reanalyze things. But if they get better naturally, even if it's a longer progression, then as long as it's going up the right way, they'll come a point to reanalyze things, but if they get better naturally, even if it's a longer progression, then as long as it's going up the right way,

they'll come a point where she'll know, one way or the other, I think. It's hard to find that and accept it if you get to that point, but there is like a yes or no, like I can't do this, I can't do it. Okay. Good point. You know, you're so right.

I mean, it's true, and that's the thing is that you gotta put time on this too, because a lot of times we say relationships, and if a year goes by and you guys still isn't said yet, I mean I would say like you know three months, two months and be- And follow through with what you decide to do too. Exactly, it's important to like write down today's day. I always tell my friends just like where do you want to be in three months in a relationship.

Like write down in three months on a calendar where you want to be feeling in a relationship because we can get lost in it in time goes by. So maybe you should start tracking this and then again keep busy creating advice. Yeah, really good. Thank you guys so much for helping. Yeah. For being here. Oh yeah, that's so fun.

Thanks for having us on here. Thank you Madison and Alyssa. I appreciate it. And thank you everyone for listening and be sure to follow me. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, it's sex with Emily across the board. We do fun giveaways. We post a lot of stuff on Facebook. Articles, we write, you I mean I write also for Harper's Bazaar and Glamour and Patty Stanger, the million dollar matchmaker. A lot of tips. And you guys

write amazing blogs that are on our website. Because I know y'all want a better sex. So thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, I'm going to talk to you about your balls because it's really friggin hot out right now, okay? Can we talk about that? So, I have a product line called Emelie and Tony and we make the sink called Down Under Comfort. It is a unique formula and last year we actually sold out and we keep hearing from everybody that it is changing their lives because we get sweaty in the summer, you know,

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thighs. It work anymore. Oh, send him some more. Thanks, Robbie. So, and someone else wrote down at her comfort as a god send. I was a baby powder man for most my adult life. And I can't imagine day without this. The girl is a big fan as well. Any guy who says this girl from Wincoat down in MN East try the stuff, my balls are no longer lonely. So go to Emily and Tony.com to get down undercover. Right now use coupon code Emily for 20% off your first order and for limit, okay, so check that out. Also, you guys, Fleshlight, we got 21 pounds of love.

Oh my God, it was so funny. Alyssa the other day, Madison. I look at her and I'm like, what, she's holding this, that's just, we got 21 pounds. Oh my god, it was so funny. Alyssa the other day, Madison, I look at her and I'm like, what? She's holding this. That's just we got 21 pounds. It's like it's up to 21 pounds on it. They labeled it. They did. Oh my god.

We did not know. It's like a box, but you guys, the reason why is because we get a lot of questions because we like to get way to you. We get people to test them out because everyone got to want them because it is the number one sex toy for men. It is a male masturbation sleep. and if you haven't tried it, you will have a different kind of orgasm and different experience than you've ever had before. I'm not saying sex is in great, your hand is just

dandy but a masturbation sleeve with material invented by NASA and is meant to look and feel like the real deal is gonna rock your penis's world. As I know you've some experience with some flashlight, your boyfriend likes it. I was gonna say yeah, I don't have a penis. So unfortunately, unfortunately, I don't get to experience it the way he does, but he's got a collection of a couple

and he really likes them, my roommate has them and he likes until you like this too. He and his boyfriend have his and his. That's so cute. It's really cute. So everyone in my life is just obsessed with their fleshlides. One of my friends created his own and his girlfriend It's really cute. So everyone in my life is just obsessed with their fleshlides. One of my friends created his own and his girlfriend is fascinated by it. You showed it to her and she was like, what is this? So yeah, you can build your own

fleshlides too, which I think is really cool. That's so freaking awesome. Okay, everyone, go to sextheome.com, click on the Fleshite banner, use code Emily, and Natalie, you pick out a fleshite, but you get a free bottle of their award-winning fleshlube. That'setemmy.com, and click on the flashlight bin or use code Emily. Check it out. Thanks for listening.