Sex With Emily - Make Out Like You Mean It

Episode Date: November 5, 2014

This show is all about the importance of kissing! From the first light peck to the full body make out, Emily tells you how to kiss like a pro and sweep any partner off of their feet. She gives you the simple steps for delivering one hell of a kiss and answers some common kissing questions: How much is too much in the tongue department? How do you pull off the lip nibble? And what the heck do you do with your hands? Emily shares her #1 trick for creating your own perfect kiss and even gets into some expert level makeout moves! You might think you’ve got it down, but this show gives you those extra tips you need to become a master of the tongue tango. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, welcome to this episode of Sex with Emily's. Today's show is all about the importance of kissing. I know you think you've got it down, but today's show will give some extra tips so you can kiss like a pro. But first, the word for my response are, let me ask you a question. Are you getting enough? I bet you'd love a little more, right? Well, Adam and Eve.com wants to give you more with 10 free gifts. First, you'll get a sexy surprise for her.

Second, especially selected toy for him. And third, a little something we know you'll both enjoy. Plus, you'll get six full length adult movies on DVD. And number 10, free shipping on your entire order. I hate when they don't prep free shipping places. Free shipping is awesome. So what do you have to do to get your 10 free gifts? Not hard at all. Go to Adam and Eve.com. Select any item. It could be an adventurous new toy, a sexy piece of laundry, anything you desire.

Just enter offer code Emily. Check out and you'll get all 10 free gifts. So go to Adam and Eve.com today. Select one item. Get 10 free gifts free shipping when you do offer code Emily at Adamaniv.com today, select one item, get 10 free gifts, free shipping when you do offer code Emily at adamaniv.com. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on day Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute Hey girls, gotta understand, oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so gone Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play good. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between

for more information, go to sexwithemily.com. Go there right now. Put in your email address. I will not spam you, but I will give you the report, the five biggest mistakes you're making in bed if you're a man or a woman. Plus, I send emails and they're really good emails. They'll give you some tips, people love reading the articles, just like you like listening to the show. So do that please. I'm here with Anderson tonight, the lovely Anderson.

Hmm. How are you Anderson? Did you go to me and then take a swig and I didn't say anything so you're drinking? I think something's wrong with you. You left in the lurch. I'm, no, I'm drinking. Okay, so I did my house to our workshop, you know, in San Diego. I sold it, yeah. And I was so bad. I kept, I feel like I was going to email my friend to the doctor today and be like,

is there like some kind of thing when you're constantly dehydrated? Because I- It's called diabetes. Oh, dude, don't bring me down for the show. You look like you probably have diabetes. No, I- You're a feet falling apart on you? No, I'm me down. You look like you probably have diabetes. No, I you're a fee falling apart on you. No, I'm just thirsty. You're more with the obese. And I drink a lot of water. Yeah. Okay, whatever. So I'm doing that. So I'm drinking water.

Also, if you just a little notes that I'd say about, if you want to meet in person, which I would love to meet you, if you're in the Los Angeles area, November 5th at 7.30pm, I'm doing an event called Beyond the Bedroom at the Body Well in West Hollywood. It's with Connor Habebe and Chris Donhue. Connor's been on the show. He's a really well-known male porn star, but he's also an amazing writer. It's called What Your Dr. Cant and Won't Tell You About Sex. What it means to be sexually healthy outside the bedroom, check it out, it's all my website

sexfamely.com, and it's just donations donations like $10, $20, whatever you can do. Also, sexual health expo January 17th, 18th, NLA in Hollywood. I'm the keynote speaker but that's just not the only reason you should go, you should go because like the top sex people in the world are teaching classes for men, women, couples and it's really cool lineup. Like every topic in the world they've wanted and it's really reasonable actually, but I am giving away 25 free tickets that are good for you plus one. And there's a fun party at night and there's an award show and it's really exciting. So please email me at feedback at secrotheme.com and tell me why you want to go to the show.

And also like us on Facebook, we need all the likes we can get because there's these mean people in the world who don't like sex and they're trying to take down our page. So the more support I get, I would appreciate it. And also, follow me in at Sex with Emily. Subscribe to us and review us on iTunes. Check us out, tell us what you like about the show or don't. And you can also, again, email us feedback at sexwithanley.com. Okay.

And also Thursday nights, we are doing a call and show and you can stream it. You can watch it at Sex withly.com. Okay, and also Thursday nights. We are doing a call and show, and you can stream it. You can watch it at sex.ly.com. You can see all the exciting things that happened during the show, and call in 1-800-LOVE-191-839-30 Pacific Standard Time. Every single goddamn Thursday night, it's awesome. Okay, a little bit sex in the news here.

Sex is more important than love according to these states. So Anderson, there's certain states where they say that sex is more important than love. Can you guess what states those are? New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Atlanta. Completely opposite. Really? Here's the thing. So when it comes to finding mates, priorities vary widely by state. So the new book Data Clism, which uses data to examine human trends, shows that what each state prioritizes when it comes to sex and love, somehow surprisingly states that are politically conservative, such as Montana, North Dakota, Wyoming, tend to prioritize sex over love.

But also Ohio seems to be the outlier in the US. It's the only state that firmly prioritizes love over sex. So most states are somewhere in the middle, but states in the north central areas of the US seem to be firmly on the side of sex. And it's rather, it's kind of says like, the explanation is kind of been all. If you're looking for people to have sex with in places like Pierre, Southoder like smaller towns they are prioritizing sex more than elsewhere because they can't get sex anywhere else so they're going online and they're looking for sex like more in big cities how do I get this answer like do they ask what's what's more important to you sex or online dating yeah okay

cute or is it like actually how much traffic there is on those sites no no it's like but because you're in your profile like like, okay, you don't know this, but you put like, are you looking for sex? Are you looking for dating? They did a big survey. So in rural, less populated areas are looking for sex online because they can't find it on the street corner. And in LA, we can find sex anywhere, but we're more looking for love or New York or bigger

cities. Uh-huh. So we're probably all about that. Well, you look kind of right then. Yeah. Well, I was completely wrong because you said states and I threw a bunch of cities that you like, not graduates. Right. Not, I was completely wrong. She said stay. And I threw a bunch of cities that you like. Right. Not right.

No, but it's hard on a grade school. Life is hard. It's tough. I know, right? But we are trying to work and help people have like really good things in life, like really good sex. So that study in my head, I just here, I just need to get me some fucking. Yeah, I know, really.

Well, it's hard. I mean, I feel bad. I mean, I've even had friends who are smart. Yeah, I know, really. Well, it's hard. I feel bad. I've even had friends who are smart, attractive, talented, amazing women, but they lived in really small towns. My friend was going to vet school, lived in some weird place in Louisiana for a few years. She's like, really? She couldn't meet anyone.

There was no one there. There was just no one. There's places you live. There was no, you just can't meet people. So that's why they did online. That's kind of bummer. She ain't a boyfriend for like five years. And she's cute.

It's not that she's a shot. OK, so I'm going to just dive right into our topic of kissing because, you know, when you settle into an intimate relationship with someone, like I said, kissing can be the first thing to go. And you don't, first thing they go is, and you don't even realize it. Because you're like, it's, you know, it's the warm up when you meet someone you make out, you have these long make out sessions and they're

great. Like they're, they feel amazing. And then you could be someone for a while. And, you know, you just have sex and you don't feel like kissing because you got to brush your teeth and you just sit on the ends. But in reality, here's why kissing is important and why I'm devoting some time to this is because it's one of the components that can actively enhance your sex life and women need kissing to warm up before sex or wind out after. You need it. We require it. But here's the other thing.

When you kiss your partner, even if it was like a full body contact kiss, your body releases hormones that make you feel happy and more connected. So if you're just banging your partner and you're not kissing ever, ever, ever, you feel less connected. It's your hormones that needs to feel more connected by through kissing. So you know, when it goes like, but also when you're in a new relationship, kissing is kind of like a first interview. And if it goes badly, you're like, eh, game over, not going to call them back.

But the thing is that you can actually work on kissing. So I would not write someone off if they're a bad kisser on the first date. And I think a lot of people do or second date. Because kissing is something just like sex that you can work on. And so I'm going to give you some tips. And do you know that I write a weekly column for glamour? I'm actually their first sex columnist since it's published on Sunday nights. See, I'm racking up. It's published on Sunday nights and glamour.com. So also

but this Sunday just came out glamour and I want to share it with you along with some my tips and these are some kissing mistakes that you might be making before we get into the specific tips. So tell me the sounds familiar. You start out too strong. You're in this moment of passion, and it can be really tempting to treat your significant others' mouth like a very strong magnet. But you've got to resist the urge to mull your partner like an animal from the get-go. Now, sometimes you may win a mull your partner if you win them for a while, but if you just

walk up into a mulling them, like this is what I'm talking about, you get a warm-ass-up. You've got to take some time. So it would force your partner to play defense for this make-out session. a while, but if you just walk up and start malling them, like, this is what I'm talking about. We get a warmest off. You got to take some time. So it would force your part to play defense for this make-out session. I'll be like, back and up. We like, really, they're tongue. They're attacking me. Like, he feels, what are you looking at me for?

What do you mean? Do not get it? No, I get it. I hate the overpowering tongue. It's not a wrestling match. People do it, though. I'm telling you, guys, it's a two-year-old. It's not a winner.

And I lose their own kissing. I know. So if you're, if you are one of these like, over-zealous people, like a teen or something, you can't control your urges. Always, with everything. I can't emphasize this enough. You've got to start slow. A slow kiss and the momentum will build naturally.

Pay attention to the signals that the person or kissing are giving off. And then you'll know where to take the kiss to the next level. So you kind of pay attention. It's like a dance. Because if you mall, it's all about you. You don't even know. Tung Tango. It's a tongue tangle. I like that. It's a game. It's not an iPhone app like that. What are the French call French kissing?

I know the answer. Did I just think that they call it a lover's kiss? A lover's kiss. No, but what's it in French? Because I do speak a little French. You're trying to remember kiss. Bezier, Florin Thien. Yeah, I don't remember that.

But, okay, kissing mistake number two. You do not use your tongue. Here's a fact. A closed mouth kiss has never rocked anyone's world. Like the first time you got with someone you kiss them, like, then you're like, oh, we're just going to kiss tonight and it's we're going to linger. But eventually you got to open the mouth and get the tongues in there. That's creepy.

One of these like closed mouth. Yeah. Well, sometimes the first kiss is closed mouth. Yeah, but if it lingers, if it stays, if it's like a five, ten second closed mouth kiss. Yeah, that's a certain like, you got to like, right, there's a point in a return, you got to know that. Um, show some enthusiasm for your, for your partner's mouth by using more than your lips.

So some tips if you are not using your tongue and how to use it is you can softly glide your tongue over his, take his bottom lip and gently suck it. Have you ever had a woman do that? The bottom lip? The bottom lip suck. I got the lip so it's pretty easy. Yeah, you know what? As a guy and I think that I might speak for a lot of guys when I say this, I kind of just

follow their lead. Like if they're like hard kissers, I'll be hard back if they're very soft. I just kiss the way that they kiss and I kind of just try and replicate what they're doing. Well, it's funny that you say that because one of my number one tips for couples about kissing is, because these are even,

if you're in a long-term relationship, short-term, if you love everything else, but you're like, God, I just, I wish you would just not stick as tongue-surdied on my throat, play a game. So you know what else, but you're like, God, I just, I wish you would just not stick as tongue-surdied on my throat. Play a game. Say, you know what? I want you to do something. Let's do this. First, kiss me the way that you want to be kissed. I'm just going to sit, I'm just going to, you know, I'm going to file your lead. And the next, I'll kiss you the way I want to be kissed. And then you can kind of make an amalgamation of the two and become perfect kissers together, hopefully. You might have to do it a few times. You don't think that would work?

No, that would be great. That would be good. You'd be like having a, and then you create your own kiss. That's unique to you. Oh, no, right. Like it's because it's not like I'm asking you, like, you know, you have to, you know, do some crazy yoga pose or something, do some pharmaceutical thing. It's like you can learn how to like back off with your tongue. Totally easy. Kissing mistake number three, you miss your target completely. So it's really nice to like pause mid-makeout

to purposely like do the brushing of your lips across this cheek or forehead, which is kind of nice to kiss around the face, or rodging his own. If not, however, it's not hot to let your lips wander from his mouth so that his chin, nose, cheeks are covered in absent-minded drool. So if your significant other is constantly having to redirect your focus, take the hint

and laser in as lip. So if you're ahead of wet, sloppy kisser. You know, I'm sitting here just going back in my mind. Did you do a lot of making out when you're younger? You're a late bloomer, right? Yeah, I was late bloomer. I can tell you that one of the grossest things in the world is the 13-year-old, 14-year-old makeup sessions. There would be like a common pool of saliva that would sometimes just be so gross. I remember that. You're both so nervous and there's so much and you're just kissing for too long and it's so

embarrassing. You're both simultaneously embarrassed but no one could say anything. Well I remembered my first kiss now just now. Did you do this where you were we were kissing? We were my friends like basement. It was a kissing party in seventh grade. So I did kiss in seventh grade but I didn't do much after that. Was it spin the bottle? Yeah totally and we went a dark room and I remember kissing and our lips did not part and We just swirled our tongues around in the circles the swirls kind of nice way if it's short No, we never stop swirling. Yeah, everything insects you got both clockwise. We're just like an hour We're just swirling

But it wasn't very like romantic at all. I'm like when's this swirling and that thirsty hungry whatever Okay, so that was my first kissing. I remember. Okay, back to the basics. What was his name? Was it David? I think it was David. His name was David, which would make sense. My brother's name? No, Michael. But I've dated five Davids in the last two years, so his name was David. Only five? Just the last two years. Weird. Not like all full-on relationships, but yeah, the last one actually called them D5. I was like, you're D5.

Sure that he appreciated that. Well, you know, you got to know me. It's to love me or hate me. Okay, so back to basics here. When it comes to kissing, especially with someone new, like I said, less is more. So if you're so hot and bothered and turned on and you're wearing a totally devourer face, you gotta to resist the urge because your tongue should not be inside the mouth the other,

the entire time. You got to use the tongue, you got to go in the mouth, but not the whole time. So again, start slow and then move your tongue into the mix and then pay attention like you do very well Anderson. So I hear to your partner and then you balance your styles together with theirs like I said you can ask them to do it Or you just try to balance so here is how to kiss so here's the basics I'm gonna break it down for you start with your lips slightly parted and this is forgot I just said kids her But this is be her him kiss her lower lip with your upper lip Spend some time kissing without using your tongue at first. It can seem really abrasive if you stick your tongue right away. So I'm telling you is you gotta use a tongue, but don't do it too quickly.

This is how you warm up, you slightly apart your lips. So if the moment allows, stop kissing her and look at her before you continue again. Because that's intimate. Look in the eyes. Total turn on. Also for men, a warning, you forget that your mouth is so much bigger than a woman's so do not engulf her whole mouth with yours. Guys do that.

And you're like, really, I can't breathe. There's a sly ball of me. So expert level kissers, next level. Really great kissers know how to tease their kissing partners. So you go in for the kiss right before your lips touch, you pull back. It's a tease that we talk about. This is a hot move because you send that anticipatory wave of excitement through your body,

which is what we're all craving, and we don't have anymore in long-term relationships. You pull in and you pull out. And when neither of you can stand it anymore, which is the ideal situation for sex always, go in for the focus and gently sweep your tongue in her mouth. Hot, right? Mix it up. Okay, so then you can mix up. The key to a great make-out sash, keep it from getting boring like my guy in seventh grade. The swirl, the never-ending swirl. I think he was not only to

the swirl, it was like a one direction swirl. It wasn't even like we should probably go the other way, but our lips never parted, we just swirled. We didn't know we were doing So keep it from getting bored. Don't spend the entire time with your tongue chilling in her mouth or with light short kisses You want to play around? Mix up all these techniques you alternate. You know soft light kisses long deep kisses lots of tongue nibbling on the lower lip Spontaneous lip bite can be hot, but not a bite that's going to make her bleed. There have been some incidents. Yeah, because Ebola. Yeah, Ebola. No blood. Everyone watch out for the blood. No, okay, no biting. Kits are lower lip and then lightly

take it in between your teeth, gently pull and then release. And a side note, that is a great tip that works on the clitoris as well. You pull the clitoris out and then you're going to be... Gently pull and with your teeth. Elastic band it back. Gently, gently, gently pull and release. All right, careful guys, when you're talking about the clitoris in the season. I know that's so advanced. Just make sure you find the goddamn clitoris first.

Maybe the worst thing to be sued for. What? Like somebody sues you because they click up it off and they're like, I heard Emily tell me to bite you there. Don't. Yeah, exactly. Seriously. I didn't say bite, I said nibble, I said nibble gently and not the first time, okay?

Sucking on your partner's lower lip is another great sensation but don't get too rough. I'll give her or him a face hikki. Have you ever got a hikki? Yeah, they're the worst. It's been forever, but somebody tried to give me one recently as it really like, are you giving me, are you really gonna give me hikki?

It's such a like a, like, own use, my mark. And he was so possessive with me. I hate it, I hate it. I was like, don't give me a, like, he's always afraid I'm gonna deal, there's like a long time ago, actually. He's turned like really attractive girls into dirty looking horse. But I feel like it's, yeah, it's not,

you can't even cover it up, you're turtle legs, we live in LA, like, what are you gonna do? And it's just screaming to everyone, hey, I've been intimate recently. Okay, so when I come back, I gotta do a quick word from our sponsors, but this is what you got to do with the rest of your body during the juicy juicy make-out section. Okay, everyone, if you do not have a flashlight yet, what the hell is your problem? I've been

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a mold of her vagina on the flashlight site. So whatever you're down for and you want to try out and you want to mix up your masturbation, you should try it out. But here's the best part for all my sex with Emmy listeners for a limited time. If you go to my website, sex with Emmy.com, you click on the flashlight banner, you use code Emily, you get their award winning flash loop, but you actually, you need some loop with, it's great to add some loop to the flashlight for the full on orgasmic experience.

And their flash, their flash loop is truly amazing. It's like, run all these awards because it's really good. So check it out, check out the flashlight, mix up your masturbation, have amazing sex, whether you're with a partner or not. And remember, your partner can also use it on you as well. Little, little, little handy. Okay, so go to sexe-me.com, click on flashlight ban or use code Emily, and let me know how it goes.

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Do something with your hands, rather than just focus all your attention on the kissing, like you might be worried, like I'm a kissinger, right? Cress her back. Another Roger's own. Hold her waist. Hold her, cup her face. Women love it when you cup their face. So romantic.

You see in all the movies, trace the outline of her jaw. Hold her chin and direct the motion of her face. You can lightly pull the back of her hair. Delically touch her butt. Maybe when she's grinding on top of you or lying next to you. So, like, you want to incorporate your whole body into the full kiss. Those are my kissing tips for you. Body kisses are good too.

A body kiss? Kiss down the body? A hug. Oh, body hug. Okay, yeah, cuddle. Do we have time for an email? Interesting. Yeah, show us.

Okay. Hey guys. Hey, we were talking last week, we were talking about a teasing. Yeah. sure let's do it. Okay. Hey guys. We were talking last week, we were talking about teasing. Yeah. We were talking about the anticipation of kissing, like, exactly. What about this move? This is a move that I would try out if you and I were a couple.

Uh-huh. I'd go in for like the kiss. I'd write one more about the kiss. I'd back away. We're all over, go to sleep. What do you think of that? I would hate that. But it's anticipation.

It's teasing. Yeah, but then you fall asleep and I need the card. We're all over, just fall asleep, right? When you're like wanting the kiss. If you move, if you move back and fall asleep and I need the card roll over fall asleep right when you're like wanting to kiss if you move if you move back and fell asleep I would leave a big That the tease is not like you depart. You don't leave. You don't go. Oh, I might touch your vagina But I'm gonna go home. No, but that thanks for thanks for asking. Okay. Okay, so anyway, this is this is um

This is a question here about For play hi Emily big fan of the show have a question here about, ah, foreplay. Hi Emily, big fan of the show. Have a question regarding foreplay. I've heard you say many times that long foreplay sessions will make for more satisfaction for my partner. I've been amping up the foreplay just about every girl I've slept with seems all the more happier, which is great. However, sometimes I find myself getting a little anxious to get to the whole penetration

part, and I find myself getting slightly bored during a long session of foreplay. As a result, I lose my erection. Is this normal? Thanks Emily, love your show, Bob. Okay, this is totally normal. And just because I'm always talking about long sessions of foreplay doesn't mean that it's only for the woman. So you can take turns.

She can play with you too. She should know this. Just because you are performing all sex and horror doing something doesn't mean that she shouldn't be touching you. You could do the good old 69. And also for play doesn't have to be continuous. You can start for play. Then you can have sex a little bit. Intercourse pull out. Keep continuing for play. It can be an ongoing thing because if you feel like you're losing your erection, that's like a total buzzkill for you too. So I think that you got to just mix it up and again for play not just for women, but men too. So take turns and let her know. I mean, I guess, you know, a lot of guys just stay turned on the whole time because they get really turned on by her getting turned on, but maybe you're going a little bit too long and is she performing for

playing you? Again, she could perform all sex on you. She could, I don't know, play with her balls, whatever you like, your nipples. So I think give you a massage. I mean, this gotta be equal opportunity here. What do you think, Anderson? Do you ever get bored of for a play? You're like really enough already. Do you? Never? Not for a play, it's cool. You're down with for of Life. Okay. So, um, oh god, this is porn and sex. This is a big one. Dear Emily, my boyfriend always says he's not that into sex, but I tell him I need it.

We live together and he assures me he's happy. However, I search his internet history and he visits the porn site every day, if not twice a day. What the hell? I try to show him I'm adventurous. I've also, on a separate occasion, interrogating with questions on whether he finds me attractive or if he's cheating. We never seem to get anywhere. Please help me. Anne. Okay, Anne, you bring up such an important point right now. I'm just not for

you, but also globally. There are a lot of guys that are just really into porn right now and they are less interested in sex. Now, first of all, let me say this. A guy watching porn, totally normal, they actually need it. A lot of guys are in really healthy relationships having amazing sex, and they actually want to watch porn more. That is fine. Porn becomes a problem when it becomes a problem,

when you can no longer, you know, you're missing, you're not going to work, you actually can't have sex without the porn, you're hurting yourself, it's you're missing you're not going to work you actually can't have sex without the porn you have you're hurting yourself it's you're ruining your relationship that's one's a problem and it sounds to me like yeah first of all guys just don't clear their browser these days Jesus people but I'm kind of glad because people are finding out a lot of stuff so your boyfriend says nine to sex and he's into the porn so what I'm concerned about is that he's doing it twice a day and I think that

you actually have to confront them. You guys are living together and so you know you need to say to him, I want to know, or first before you even bring up the porn, when he says he's not that into sex, was he into sex at the beginning? Has anything changed about him? Is he drinking more? Is he more stressed at work? I mean honestly when guys are worried about money, it's like they can't get a boner. It's like that. So, if there's something going on, he might be using the porn as like a stress reliever, and he's saying he's not that into sex because to become emotional intimate with you is just really stressful for him right now because he is concerned. He get also be taking some

meds and all, you know, a lot of other things. But if he's telling you that he's like nodded to sex and you're trying to do it, and of course you need it. You're so right. People who live together and are married are in relationships and they think that they put the sex on the back burner and they think, oh, that's important because we're best friends. We love watching movies together and you know,

we take walks and he takes out the trash and I pay the bills bullshit. You actually need to have the sex because it connects you intimately and you need it. It's biologically speaking, you need to be connected in that way. The hormones, the connection. So sex is a priority. If you're not having sex, don't write it off like it's something you're going to do

with tomorrow. So this is something you have to tell him that this honey, we got to talk about this. And I know you watch porn and I get that but I I we need to start having sex careful with the tone though don't come down like you don't come down too hard don't put too much pressure and you know what guys go through phases too yeah I know I know I know I know I can't find a new site or something that he's really into you should you should never and I don't mean to be aggressive right now because the truth is when you go into these first all sexes such a I talk about all the time sexes such a touch you subject for couples and the reason I feel don't talk about it because it's so hard

It's like how do we bring this up? It was good at the beginning and honestly it's like ripping abandoned off You just got to start the conversation babe. I love you. I love living together our relationship is awesome But I know sometimes you say like you're not really that into sucks and I am and I think we need it It's really crucial and so what do you think we could do to start you know having more sucks You say you're not into it, but you know I know you watch porn and I know there's a different I mean I don't think that you know whatever and then so do it in a very kind way tell him what you love about your sucks life And if he says to you, I'm just not that into it done. I mean you got a probe more So what when you say you're not into it,

is that that you're not experiencing pleasure or maybe there's something else you want to try? Because I'm open, you know? Did you want to buy some sex? Do you want to watch porn together? I mean, make it a very like positive conversation. You need me to go on Tinder? What?

I mean, that's what she can throw that in too. Like, do I need to go out and find somebody else who will service? No, she does not need to say that. That's what they come from. We mean, if he says... I've had girls say that to me. Really?

Yeah, I'm like, I really feel like it. They're like, well, should I just go find somebody else then? Well, I guess if he says I'm not into sex, I never will be, but then she should move out. I'm sorry, I missed it. Are they married? They're lived together. But they're not married.

They're not married. Could be the end. It could be the end because honestly, a couple who have mismatched the Beatles is more common than not. And you don't find out till afterwards because they're usually pretty matched at first. Well, yeah, everyone's matched. Exactly.

You can be matched almost anywhere at first. The problem is, if you happen to know your history, I wish there was like a form you'd have fill out before you like date someone long term. Like what's your history of sex? Typically like a three times a week or one summer. Because then it could save you a lot of freaking hard-earned heartache down the road. It's really like a puppy. You don't know until it's grown up. I mean you could have a really sweet little puppy but then I know. But this is history. You can go back and be like, yeah, I, you know,

I've actually like having sex three times a week. And if you were someone who wants to every day or once a month is fine with me. But do you think that that changes from from relationship to relationship? I don't. I really don Is that has that been proven? No. I've been, I can tell you from my own experience, I've been like a two week guy with certain girls and then other girls, it's like five times a week. But how long were you with those fine times of week girls?

Doesn't last very long. Exactly. So at the beginning of any relationship, you want to have a... I'm talking about, you know, past the first three months, past the honeymoon phase. Right. I think that pretty much if you've been in a two-year year relationship

You kind of know your libido. I mean again, it changes when as you get older our sex drives change So everything changes in our bodies So I just think you have to have a serious conversation with them and and take this seriously like and please know that It is something that you have to focus on if he just blows you off and says I don't know if does not introduce that's on an answer So start very sweet, like I said. Start by a conversation that's fun. You're gonna do something together. You're gonna spice it up,

but don't let them get away with it because it will wreak havoc on your relationship. And that is all we have time for today. So thanks everyone for listening. I've got two shows a week. Anderson, you rock. Check out his podcast after disaster and the film vote because they're amazing.

I actually laughed my ass off listening to. Well, I was talking, talking about you, arguably poorly about you. No, you actually said nice things. Believe it or not. And then you called me crazy, but that, but crazy. Emily, I love her. She's crazy. But I love her.

But I'm like, I'm not a don't take offense that because you love me. I'm a good kind of crazy. So anyway, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Amen. My feedback at sexwithanley.com. Hey everyone, I'm wondering, have you ever felt not so fresh? You know, like down under. Like you're thinking, I'm ready for action, but I don't feel that fresh. So I created a solution with my partner,

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