Sex With Emily - Making Love Last Longer with Jeff Abraham

Episode Date: May 17, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is joined by CEO of Promescent Jeff Abraham and they’re talking about not only making love last longer, but how to make it better, too. Plus your calls & Instagram questions! They discuss why talking about sex with your partner is crucial to your satisfaction in bed and ways to increase intimacy and be more open-minded in the bedroom. Plus, Emily gives advice on post oral kissing and whether or not you should accept the hall pass offer from your ex. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: uberlube, Womanizer, Good Vibrations, SiriusXM Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For more info on Promescent, click HERE. For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm going by CEO of Promescent Jeff Abraham, and we're talking about not only making love last longer, but how to make it better too. Plus your calls and Instagram questions. Topics include, or talking about sex with your partner is crucial to your satisfaction in that. How to increase intimacy and be more open-minded in the bedroom. So, okay, get this. You feel weird kissing your partner after they go down on you. So, how do you get past that? And your ex is a free halt pass to hook up with someone.

Should you go down that road? All this and more. Thanks for listening. Eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, Mollie? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I want off here so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information check out sexwithemla.com because it's awesome. You can also find me in Series XM Radio, which is also awesome Monday through Friday 5 a 7 specific on series XM stars channel 109 You ask to have it if you don't have serious. What the hell you can go to sexy only that calm slash

SXM you get a free 30 day trial and Hey, happy masturbation month all hands on deck or dick enjoy the show We're closing the orgasm gap. He's been closing the orgasm gap since I met him, doing such a great job. You guys can set your call, if you're calling in, you can hang on the phone, you can still call us, triple eight nine four seven eight two seven,

but I got it, welcome my friend Jeff. He's a CEO of ProMessent. You guys should hear me talk about it. Over counter, topical spray that's used to him, but he essentially, a happy last longer in bed. Correct. And it's the only FDA-approved treatment

for premature ejaculation. I've known Jeff for years since he started it. And I love Jeff. I'm so happy to see you. And I feel like, what's that commercial? I'm not only a client. I wear the suit. That's just a job.

Exactly. He is a client. He is a menswear house. I wear the suit. And I'm not. But I love for a mess. And Jeff has a great, how he started it. and he's been like, passionate about the company. Now it's been like, six years,

I was trying to remember when we first met. Eight. Well, we met six years ago. I started with a company eight years ago. We met two years in. So it's been eight years total, six, that you and I have. It's a passion project to help them with their pieces. We've grown together.

We have grown together. Yes. We have, we have Jeff. We've grown together. We met, yeah, I was still, I mean, yeah, I was trying to figure out how to make a live and do in a podcast. And Jeff's like, I got this great problem. That's amazing.

And it works. I had to find a premature, jack leading penis or penis who won the last longer. Well, let's just say this, most penises won the last longer. They do. I would say. Yes. And most women want their penises the last longer. They do.

Just as importantly. If there's a penis in their life, right? So what, I mean, so it's been like, tell me how you feel now after eight years of helping men. I mean, it's been such, I know like I'm so proud of it when now you guys are on series too. We do ads. I'm like, no, you guys, this is something like it's real and it works.

So how's your journey been? Tell me. I think it's been gratifying, you know, to grow and have success from a business standpoint is obviously as a CEO. It's my fiduciary responsibility and my shareholders and my employees to do that. But I don't think anyone could ever truly understand, but you understand because of what you do for a living. When you get emails from people saying, I was celibate for five years.

I literally was tired of being in disappointing sexual relationships. I quit being intimate. I was so disappointed. I saw all these ads for these products. They didn't work. For some reason, I saw the medical credibility. I heard Emily, I heard Dr. Ian Kurner, I heard, you know, you're all just on a certain show and I decided to give it a chance.

It's revitalized my life. When you get an email from a couple who says, you know, we had been going through the motions literally for the last three years, five years, we were intimate on his birthday, Christmas, and you know, our anniversary, other than that, we weren't really excited. We had one individual in particular that said, my wife and I had to start taking yoga

and working out and stretching because instead of a 30 second or one minute, you know, intimacy session, it started lasting 20, 25 minutes and we were not prepared physically to actually endure that. And I started laughing. I was like, well, I guess not. I mean, if it's over in 30 seconds, it's not like you need a lot of stamina. You know what I mean? When it's basically over, when it starts, you don't really need to be limber, you know what I mean? But when you hear people and they get emotional and they go, do you know what exactly but when you hear people and they get emotional and they go do you know what it's like to have My self-esteem back. You know what it's like to feel like a man again and you don't realize until you do this something like this

Because the average person doesn't like you sit here all day and like I do in my jobs that they're all day I talk to people they don't realize how much of a person's self-esteem is wrapped up in their sexuality You find out that a father or a man is a better father, he's a better boss, he's a better husband, he's a better son, he's a better everything when he's happy that his life is fulfilled. And that's a big part of your life to be missing. And from a woman's standpoint, we find out not only is the sex satisfying to a woman if the person lasts longer,

but knowing that her husband is satisfied makes a woman feel better. Knowing that a man knows that he's satisfying his woman makes a man have more confidence because if you're truly in a healthy relationship, you want your partner to be satisfied. Exactly. You both want it. You both want it and no matter, even if it feels like a prehistoric urge as a man, all I want to satisfy my woman is a woman. But it is a prehistoric urge.

It is a prehistoric urge. You are like just mammals. You really are like, men don't feel sexually confident. They can't please their woman or they're stressed about their jobs, they can't provide. They do feel like it's hard for them to perform and the best thing is hard for them to feel manly and feel comfortable. Any, they're their life.

Especially sex, though. And especially sex. And unfortunately, we wrap it up in religion, and you know, it's this taboo subject that people can't talk about, people are uncomfortable. Oh, my kids are here. Let me tell you something. The fact that you're kids are there is something you should talk about. So they don't grow up thinking that it's the forbidden fruit that they don't get all

Completely caught up and this is wrong. I can't talk about it You go to Europe and people are so free and they're so open sexually and I go I need to move to Europe But my son lives here. I'm not leaving him. I mean he's 30 and I'm hoping to be a grandfather one day So I'm really looking forward to that can't wait for that I know but I just I want us as a society to not feel the taboo, to not feel the shame, to not feel like, oh, this is a naughty thing. Are you kidding me? Get out of here.

Well, Jeffy just brought up a good point. I'm talking to Jeffy's CEO of ProMessent, which we're going to get into in a minute for like what? But I think they know about ProMessent. It helps you less longer, bad. It's awesome. It's the only FDA-W the only FDA treatment to do it, but the thing that you buy up is kids.

So a lot of people, let's just say this. Prior to, well, the reason why I was so excited to meet Jeff when I met you is because I was like, oh God, if guy calls into my show or emails the podcast at the time, he comes before he wants to, he can't last long enough. Honestly, the only my advice is, and it still remains the same because not everyone wants to buy a product.

I understand. It's a practice. And in talking about parents and kids, a lot of time, it's psychological. It's in your head. You have to learn kind of, and it's a lot of work, though. You've got to do the stop start method. I want you to edge. I want you have to like keep masturbating until, you know, you're about to have an orgasm,

then you stop again. And then if you start again, it's like, but you've got to do it every day. For the fact that you've got to practice, you've got to have an orgasm, then you stop again, and then if you start again, and it's like, but you gotta do it every day. For the rest, you gotta practice. You gotta be aware of your brain. And then they still, I hope they don't do this anymore. People have called in though, and I get angry. They're like, my doctor said I should go on and antidepressants so I don't come so quickly.

I'm like, no, please try, if you're gonna take a try-promissant, so it's just like there really aren't other solutions, and it can be tough. But then- You know what the side effects are are if you take antidepressants for PE when you're not depressed. When I took over this company, I think I've told you this before. It's very important to me, if you're going to run a company and be the CEO, you have to know what you're competing against, what people's other options are. How can you properly position your product? So I said the

Ron, he was a ural just the guy who invented and found it promising. I'm going to try all the other products. So the stud 100s and the man delays and risers, I used them and they completely numb me and not my partner. Yeah, exactly. My partner, I was like, well, I think we're being intimate because I know we're moving, but I can't feel anything and she can't feel anything. The whole objective is to feel pleasure. I mean, you could have dropped a center blog on my penis. I felt it. Okay. It was like, I could have lasted for two days because. Yeah, exactly. That's a bad visual for me too because you can't feel anything. So I said to Ron, you know, a lot of doctors prescribe, you know, anti-depressants

because SSRIs which is selective, satona, and reuptake inhibitors. One of the side effects of that drug is they allow you to last a lot longer. So I said, give me whatever dose as you give to people for PE that aren't depressed. So it would be okay, great. So it was something called Zola. So he gave me this low dose Zola. So the first two, three days, I'm like,

well, this does allow you to last forever. By the third and fourth day, I'm like, hey, wait a second. I have dry mouth, nausea. I swear to God, my eyes were all dry. It felt like someone took my libido, put it in a garment bag, and threw it in the back of the closet somewhere.

I mean, literally like take your fantasy person, for me it's a manual shureki. Remember she said, oh my God. I mean, seriously, I get weak in the knees, I've been thinking about her. She could have walked in right now, laid on this table and naked, went, let's go, I go, I'd rather have ham sandwich.

You know what I mean? It was like, and I'm normally, even for I go, I'd rather have a ham sandwich. You know what I mean? It was like, and I'm normally, even for my age, I have a really active libido. It was like, I'm not kidding. You all like, Ron, get me off of this stuff right now. He's like, well, because it's, you know, it has a half life and everything,

you can't just get on and get right off. He goes, what we'll do is we'll start tapering down. It goes, take me down right now. Get me off of this stuff, because in my mind, I'm thinking, what if this is like permanent? What if this stuff doesn't go back away? So it took about another four or five days,

and I go, how could anyone take those? Dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, loss of libido? I go, excuse me, I'll take PE, okay? I'll deal with it, I'll get all kinds of vibrators, I'll get a symbion, I'll get every toy known to mankind as long as I don't feel like that, okay? And that's what people with physicians were referring people to. Yeah, they were getting, yeah, they're giving, and they also do that for, yeah, and a lot

of people don't understand the hidden side effects of antidepressants. Those aren't even hidden. No, I mean, I was brutal. I was right, sorry, no, but I'm saying, women call in, they're like, I can't orgasm, like what do you want? They're like, I guess their doctors don't often tell them, or maybe they forget, they don't think it's gonna happen in ferment too. It's ridiculous.

It's fun to tell. You using an SSRI for PE is like putting out a candle with a fire hose, okay? It's a little too strong. You know what I mean? It was insane. That's a good way to put it. Yeah.

And we also, so I promise everyone we were gonna close the orgasm gap tonight. Yes. And I think you've been doing that with promescent, but let's talk about it. Like what, what, like I always say, well what, the orgasmcent, but let's talk about it. Like what, like I always say, well, what do you guys have gap? But when I say that, it's like,

we know that women take longer to orgasm than men. They're just gonna be a gap. The clinical trials when you look at, and it's funny, because I went to some of the clinics. So I went to some of these clinics because you know, we do as his work. I do my work exactly.

He's like, the fucking business. It also satisfies the perfect. You go in and go, I wonder how this works. You know, you go in there. I swear you go in there. I'm not kidding you. It doesn't look like a perk. And they fuck, he's like, you know what the fuck, he's like, it's a fucking business. It also satisfies the perfect. You go and they're going, wonder how this works. You go in there.

I swear you go in there. I'm not kidding you. It doesn't look like a per. And they have, I'm a pretty normal dude. I say that, I do have a little bit of a adventurous inside,

which a lot of people do. Yeah. I think it comes from being a single dad and raising my son all those years. I had to kind of suppress things and I'm living out of this fantasy. I love your life, Jeff. Yeah, I kind of enjoy it too.

But you go in, and this is the craziest thing, they have a thing where they wire people up and they monitor them so they know when they're having orgasm, they have a stopwatch. If you have PE, can you manage something to stand anywhere to stopwatch? Do you know what I mean?

Like, excuse me, that's putting a little more anxiety here. But they determine that the average, this isn't people with PE, these are normal healthy people. The average woman without excessive stimulation takes 18 minutes of thrusting to achieve climax. The average man, the actual penetration of thrusting. Okay, if she can even get there for that. If she can, the actual man, healthy male, not some of the last five minutes and 20 seconds, that's the arousal gap. So even in healthy couples, you have this giant disparity of good

intimacy. That's why there's 18 trillion vibrators in the world. Guys, stop, start, switch position, think about baseball scores, think about their grandmother naked, all these crazy things going, I can't feel the pleasure and go over the edge. I have to disassociate. Inemacy is about connecting. It's about passion and emotion. Not sitting there going, Ted Scott's gonna soccer field Oh, whatever. I just can't think of what I'm doing so that you know that just it's so crazy these Methods that people use to last long enough. So we recommend and one of the things we always tell people

If you look at our product, it's a great product. It works, but also Learn to be more into four-play learn get yourself a vibrator You know, I was shocked as I've always been a little bit on the adventures inside also learn to be more into four-play. Learn, get yourself a vibrator. You know, I was shocked, as I've always been a little bit on the adventures from side. How many people go, oh, I've never buy a vibrator. I go, why? Well, it would mean I can't satisfy my wife.

I go, no, how about if you think of it as a way to satisfy your wife to a higher degree? Okay, how about if it, get out of this Puritan mindset that having toys and vibrators, for God's sake, you can get them a target now. You can walk anywhere. Exactly. It's not like you have to go to some CD sex shop on the end of the street.

There's 47,000 websites. Regular grocery stores have a section with condoms and loobs and vibrators. Open up your sexuality, connect with your partner. To me, there's nothing wrong with people in any relationship is being open with one another and sharing things and go, what is it that I can use to bring you to a higher level of passion or intimacy or pleasure? Exactly. I mean, that's, you know that that's what I'm all about.

It's intimacy is like, what is that? Is that that is immediately just saying that we are going to conduct, because if you find that you are in your head during sex, you're worried that you're going to orgasm too quickly. You're women out here, you're not going to, you're worried, you're not going to orgasm at all. Then you know what that is happening. If you're having thoughts like that during sex, you're not as connected as you can be.

Think about it. If you inject anxiety into anything, or you ever fully enjoying it, if you're having a meal and you are anxious about something, are you really enjoying the flavors of that meal? Are you sitting and letting the seat in and getting every bit of pleasure out of it? Of course not. No matter what you're doing. And if there's anything more important in your life than intimacy, I'd like to know what it is. That's what we all crave. We crave that connection, but yet we're in our heads worrying about how to do it right and then we're missing the whole experience and then life goes

by. One of the things that I have found, and I'm a big believer in it, I have no objection to porn whatsoever, but people start measuring themselves to porn. A woman goes, if I don't have an orgasm where I'm flopping around like a fish, you know what I mean? And going insane, or if a guy goes, you know, I go shoot across the room and hit someone in the forehead, you know, across the other end of the thing, or, you know, I don't have a, you know, a 14 inch penis and I last an hour and a half then I'm insufficient.

Exactly. You know, it's like you don't watch the NFL and go, I should run as fast as the fastest running back. Why is it that people watch porn and go, that's the norm? Because they think it's real for some reason. People think, oh, well, it's the first time I've ever seen sex for many people.

Yes. They've seen the sexual act and they think, oh, well then it must be real. Because they have nothing because their parents didn't talk to them about it. Exactly. They've seen the sexual act and they think, oh, well, then it must be real. Like, because they have nothing because their parents didn't talk to them about it. Exactly. They've never seen anything else. They never came across my podcast and they think it's real. And then they get disappointed during sex or they're worried they're not performing. And it starts at a young age. That's why you got to talk to your kid and say, I know you might find porn, son, daughter, but here's the thing. It's not real.

They're not actually really having orgasms. He was casted for his penis, and they had a search, they had a search far and wide for a 14 inch penis. Yeah, that 12 inch penis with the girth of a cocan isn't the norm. You know what I mean, don't get upset, that's not you. Exactly.

God, it's so true, but I feel like, yeah, and I love what you're saying about vibrators to all the things, but if you need to, like, and then if you're having some stuff, and I think if people, if you're listening to this, we're talking about like, how can you satisfy yourself and your partner? So if you're tripping on about your, maybe you're lasting too long, not long enough, so people will last too long.

You must hear everything, right? Like you first of all, I mean, because people don't get the difference between like ED and PE last week. We have people going, will this help me get an erection? I go with part of our website, did you ever get that impression? It's not, it's not Niagara, it's like it's a couple. It's totally separate.

So we have to literally educate people and talk to them and go, if that's your expectation, you're gonna be disappointed, that is not what we do. We have people to go, well, I have trouble orgasming. Will this help me? I go, if you're having trouble orgasming before putting this on, okay? I get news for you're going to have to have make loves to your woman or man, whoever you're making love to for two weeks before you're going to. If

you're already having issues, this is going to only accentuate that. And you have questions, you know, and it's funny. We have this interactive chat feature called O-Lark, where we talk to our customers. I love that. Yeah. And Jeff's probably still doing it. Like the CEO, like make it a big company. And he's in the middle of it. Two hours a week, it's me. I know, Jeff. Because to me, I want to talk to our customers. I want to talk to people, how did you find us?

Have you used it before, what your experience like? And they don't believe it. And I'll go, no, it's me, trust me. They'll go, no. And so they go to the page and they see the CEO and I go, see that email right there. And they'll go, yeah, I go, send me an there and they'll go, yeah, go send me an email. They'll go, okay, great.

As soon as it comes in, I answer it. I go, see, I told, they go, what are you doing on here? I go, this is how I learn about who uses their product, how they find it, the satisfaction level. It's important, that's why I used everything before I became CEO. I wanted to know how to position it.

But I've talked to people and I just shaked my head and I go, where are these people? I'd really like to see this. I had a woman. I had this hour-long chat and then I gave her my phone number. She called me because I go, these people need some help. They were really super religious and they never had sex with anyone prior to them being married.

They had been married for seven years. They had sex like twice a year. The guy lasted like 12 seconds each time. You're reading his whole life. I go, no wonder he's lasting 12 seconds, he can sex every six months, okay? I'm surprised you don't like, you know, reach out to him and he has an orgasm, you know?

It's like, and it was the craziest thing and I'm going, in this day and age, how could people be of that mindset? I just pictured them like in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan or something. I go, these people can't live in a nice state, okay? Where can you be and be that disassociated where you don't have TV or radio or whatever you, what?

Well, yeah, I mean, well, I think probably they started having sex. They just thought, and maybe they hadn't had sex with other people, so like, well, this is not all. No, they were both the only people that ever been with. It's the first time, though, it's not satisfying, but they can't go to the church, they can't go to their parents, and they don't know who to go to.

So I was gonna say, though, Jeff, so people who use Provisant, what have you found is there a certain demographic, has it surprised you same sex couples, like men, men, ages. Oh, we have, yeah. What, what, what? There are the people.

I'll give you the typical, but then I'll give you the ranges, okay. The typical pro-messant user is a man between 33 and 50 years old. And you have to understand there's two P. 33 and 50, right? 33 and 50 is the absolute truth. I would think it'd be a lot more younger, but maybe they don't find you at a young age

when they need to. Okay. And here's the thing, they don't find us, and I call this the machine gun theory, okay. When men are 18 to 33 or 16 to 33, and they will become intimate, they literally have a machine gun. They can fire bullets every half hour.

Yes, they keep coming out, I don't care if I came in two seconds. That's exactly because I know I'm gonna go again. When you get to be my age, it's, I say when you're in your 50s, it becomes a rifle, I'm like a musket. Okay, you gotta put the powder in, put the bike, takes like a half hour to reload, you know the whole thing.

So, men, that art that you laugh at here. No, it's too low. It's one of those things that, if you go I can have sex again in two minutes, who cares? Yeah, we didn't know it. In the second time I last longer when you're like me, I'm like I need a meal, I need to sleep, I need to work out the next day for I'm ready. I get to make every shot count. So I have a gun every one shot has to be right in the forehead. Okay.

They look at this machine. I'm just praying bull. I'll hit him with something. You know what I mean? So Young men, it lusse they're extremely You know wealthy and they have all discretionary income and they're going, I'm trying to optimize every area of my life. They're like, I'll just do it again. You know, it's like, yeah. It's true. Yeah. I was going to say last time my boyfriend at 25, he could come three, four times.

I'd never seen that since. I was like, oh, wow. I don't know if I remember how fast the first one was. Just kept coming. Exactly. Yeah. Not anymore. Trust me.

Because people my age, I'm about to turn 62. And it's like one of the things that blows me away is I'll go, I've been married 20 years, we have sex literally three times a year. Like what? They go, no, we're just both kind of over it. And I go, dude, you need to reexamine your relationship. Take a vacation, you know, get back into it, you know, that kind of a thing. But for us us it's about if your performance starts waning Then your enthusiasm is gonna wane then you get into the spiral where you forget about it Think about if you have a favorite food do you don't time you love it and you cook it? Elsa you just kind of quit eating it and you're later you kind of forget about it

Yeah, you do but then someone waves it in front of you go hey wait a second. That's good You know that's it people forget they like they forget they connected, because there was a problem. And they're like, I don't really need it. And I feel like a lot of you have called in and said that. And I'm like, no, you just forget. You have forgotten what it feels like to be a sexual being on the planet. And you know what I find too? And everyone gets into this is, when you get into a relationship, I don't care how explosive

it is to begin with. I don't care how magical it is the first year or two years. If you pass at three, four, five year mark, you get into a routine. Once you get into routine, the excitement begins to wane. It's something you truly have to work at. It will happen.

And it's just like, think about your favorite meal. If you eat it every single day, after five years ago, I want to eat something but that, okay. Give me anything but a certain way to stay after all these years of loving it, sir. So you have five years ago I want to eat but that okay give me anything but a Surly steak after all these years of loving it so you have to go I need to find different ways to make that steak I need different sauces I need different presentations different side dishes to get it a little bit of a flavor different flavor so that I still crave it right sex is the same thing same exact thing and people just you know they don't understand we're not we think it's supposed to just magically

be amazing all the time it's the one thing in're not, we think it's supposed to just magically be amazing all the time. It's the one thing in our life that we think it should just work without having any effort at all because it did in the beginning. And no one tells you that it changes over time because of what I do and you do, Jeff, which I appreciate. And I appreciate it. Part of it is we have the benefit of seeing so many people that lose touch. And then it shocks you and scares you when you you into going I'm not letting that happen to me I've seen that I don't want that to happen in my life

Well, that's why actually I'm five sure this was my serious sex that my audience, but I started the show because I've said this but I don't I don't I didn't think sex was so I thought it could be a lot better people were saying God sex is so amazing I'm like, okay, I want to figure out a great sexy, but also I saw that so many people were not having grades that sex was a culprit. People were ending relationships. They're like, oh yeah, the sex wasn't great. Or then I saw that couple that sitting at the restaurant or you tell them married for 20 years

and they weren't talking to each other. And I say, never wanna be that couple. I never wanna be in a relationship where the sex dies, you know? And so, because I knew, and I'm like, well, I'm gonna figure out how to prevent that. So, from the perspective of it. They're just going to restaurant and you see a couple, and the woman's text ends up,

guys are reading paper, and then you start staring at him, and 20 minutes go by, and there's no interaction with him. Zero. And you know what I think now, from having been in the business, I go, those people are having horrible sex, so they're not connected. And if I go into a restaurant and you see people and they're holding hands and they're joking

and you see this banter back and forth, I literally say to myself, those people have good intimacy. Because it's not just, it doesn't stop in the bedroom. It doesn't start in the bedroom and it doesn't stop in the bedroom. For you to have good intimacy, you literally have to be anticipating it during the day.

You have to make that person feel special. And even afterwards, you can't roll over and go, I'm done, boom, go to sleep. No, after care is a big part of sex, guys. After care is just feeling that connection. And everyone's felt this, you forget that feeling, like you go, I don't know where I end and she begins, vice versa.

It's just like you feel like you're laying there and it's just one giant connection. There's no beginning, there's no end, and you're laying there, and it's just one giant connection. There's no beginning, there's no end, and you're just totally comfortable. Yes. Yes. You can only achieve that through intimacy.

And intimacy doesn't mean good intimacy, doesn't mean lasting 45 minutes, it doesn't mean, because there are certain couples that go, we have a great sexual relationship, and the guy lasts three minutes, but it only takes three minutes for the woman. It's fine. If it's not a problem, if it's not a problem takes three minutes for the woman. It's fine. If it's not a problem, it's not a problem.

It's not a problem for either one of you. It's not a problem. You know what I tell people? Because sometimes people say to me, well, because of what you do, define how long good sex is. I go, there's no such thing to define it in a time frame. It's when both couples generally are mutually satisfied and they're both comfortable and they both say, I'm happy with the intimacy we have it can be three minutes it can be 30 minutes

It can be 40 it can be whatever that's the most important thing are your expectations being met Are you comfortable? Do you look forward to it? Do you want to do it again? Do you want to be in a situation that you've just can't Can't distance yourself from that person you just love feeling close to that person. Exactly, it's intimacy. I think a lot of people don't understand that, which is why we're here and why we do what we do. Look at you, Jeff, you've been doing this now for eight years. Like half the time, you're like out there too,

being the sex expert out of people. You're the funny part. I love it, Jeff. I was a semiconductor engineer and I retired after I sold my business and my next door neighbor develops a product. And the next thing you know, I feel like I'm Dr. Ross You know, I mean it's like People that knew me from the semiconductor day goes what how did you make that transition? I go it's a long story Because you're like hey, what's going on with your sex life? They're like what that happened. Yeah, I worked in politics before I worked in

I know what the fuck happened Sam Fran Sam Fran. Okay, Jeff. Thank you. We're talking to Jeff a brand. He's the CEO of Okay, Jeff, thank you for being up top. We're talking to Jeff Abraham. He's the CEO of Promescent. The only FDA approved treatment to help you last longer in bed. I'll just say that. And Jeff, I gotta ask you some, these are our questions that we ask our guests.

So would you rather? Okay, ready? Yes. Would you rather have early morning sex or late night sex? Early morning. Okay. Would you rather get a lap dance or a strip tease? Can I ask one question? Yes. What is eventually lead to? Is that the beginning in the end of it or is it lead up to?

What tidal aid to you? What turned you on the most? Lap dance. Okay. Oh. Would you rather have sex with a bite or a screamer? How hard are they biting? And where are they biting? I don't know. In a way that's like under shoulder. Screamer. Because, you know, if I've had a couple situations in my life where someone bites hard, like, and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, okay, that. Which, what? James is a biteer.

I'm a biteer, so. I don't even know a biteer. Like, my boyfriend's be like, do you see this? Like, what happened? I'm bleeding, my shoulders are bleeding, okay? You forget that you're doing it. I forget that they're biting.

No, that's what I was gonna say. They don't even do it on purpose. And I don't mind, you shoulders are bloody, okay? You forget that you're doing it. I forget that you're biting. No, that's what I was gonna say. They don't even do it on purpose, and I don't mind, you know, like a playful, like even a little bit of aggressive bite, but when they draw blood. When they draw blood. I'm like, wait a second.

Do I get to get a tetanus shot? I mean, like, no, I know, I know. Scream, I think. Scream, that's better for my ego too. Yeah, right? We love it. Make some noise during sex. Okay, would you rather be a terrible kid?

Would you rather be terrible at kissing or at oral sex? Oh, kissing. Okay, good, good. Wait a second, but if I'm really back here, so I might not get to oral sex, okay? That's true, we just skipped. I would have to be assured that I would eventually get to the oral sex part, so.

Yeah, Jack, so one wouldn't preclude the other. I like the way you think. Okay, Jack, thank you so much for being here, for being a long time friend and fan and supporter. I enjoy every bed. And you're doing the great work at Promissant. So thank you. It's great to see you.

All right, we are gonna take a quick break, and we come back. We're gonna get into your calls. Okay, so we do have a question from a female listener. Okay. How do you get around not being kissed after he, boyfriend I say, more partner, goes down on you. Should I be more open-minded?

Yeah, you gotta be open-minded when here's a thing. He's going down on you. It's an active intimacy. Like I think, try, it's in your brain, you're thinking, oh my God, it's gonna be this gross gross and I feel like everyone loves the vulva the vagina hail to the vagina the pussy Whatever you want to say, but then we're like oh, but it's kind of dirty and gross No, if he's going down in you I say girl make out with him and see you're gonna be fine I think you might even find it really hot

I think it is something to get over now if you do it and I'm talking about being present I hear this from women, for example, if they go down on their guy, giving him a blowjob, and then they try to kiss him, and he turns away, some women can be offended by that. Well, I'm like, you guys, you're already down there, your kiss and sex is beautiful and messy and sexy and all the sensual and all these things.

So I think yeah, I think it's something that it's a learning curve with sex. You just make out like a minute. It's fine. I like that one. That's a good one. Okay. We have Drew who's 41 in New Mexico. And he says he has an ex has a free pass and her new relationship. And he wants to know from you, if you think he should have sex with her. Hey, Drew. Okay, good. So good. Okay, tell me about this X. Like I need to know more to give you my expert opinion.

So it's about 15 years ago, we're like a three year relationship. Well now she's married and you know, her and her husband have an open marriage relationship. So he's given her a free pass to one of the you know one of the places out here and In the Mexico and So they're sending it out and when he said what he tells her you can be with anybody you want to be just I don't want to know about it Anybody but for June and because he's done out of that. Oh Hold up hold up hold up hold up

wait wait wait we're sounding so good I was like I love to fuck one of my access from 15 years ago that'd be so fun oh my god I don't want to be with him but we all kind of put them on the pedestal no so now it's sneaky it's not cool it's mixed up energy she's like he's like cool anyone but Drew and then she called you. Drew, you don't need to go back. I think, yeah. Yeah. Hang on because they do role playing in the bedroom for the last 10 years as me. Oh my god. Is it so. Okay., okay. So she, she calls him Drew like in the height of passion. Well, he'll even say, you know, the Drew do it this way, the Drew do it that wins you'll be like,

yeah, he sure did. And then they get off on that shit. She's telling you this. No, Drew, what's your love like now? You don't need to go back. Listen, here's my thing about going back to next thrust. It'd be a really good reason. Like, something has changed. Like, you're both in the same page. This is just, no, you don't want to get messed up in this. I think- That's a hot mess, ain't it?

It is a hot mess. Like, there's so many more ways. It's just so messy. I save one for your life. Like, it's been, you got out of it for a reason. I mean, you have, you have in regular sex right now? Are you in a relationship? No, no, no. Well, okay. No, I'm just chill having regular sex right now? Are you in a relationship? No, no, no.

Well, okay. No, I'm just chillin' right now. You're just chillin'. Well, I think this is just, I think even comically, energetically, I mean, that's not a good place to go. No. Yeah? I should just leave it alone.

Leave it alone, even though you want to tap that again. I get it. I understand. I do. I understand but I know you do and I at first I really wanted you to I Did because I was like well, that's cool. That's anyone but Drew. I'm like, okay Well, if Drew like there's a reason they're like role-playing you in the bedroom Which what mean no, but I want to know why you're you know I think that this is just too easy for you and I think you should just kind of think of why aren't you having sex right now.

If you're into it and go out and find some new, someone new. Are you going to listen to me? I can't tell. I think you really want to do. What? I just want to do the point. I feel my trauma. We just say you're going to what, try your what?

I just got to the far some of trauma looking behind it. Try your luck, too. I'm giving you the confidence now. Go find something else you're going to forget about the act you already did. Thanks, Drew. Thanks for calling. Yeah, that is just one messy situation.

Wild. Wild. Like, anyone but, there are some other things that I just, yeah. Well, I heard open relationship and I was like, oh, yeah. Like, a hot pass. That sounds nice. And then, yeah, then you say anybody but, yeah. Right, not Drew.

And they're role-playing him in the bedroom. Yeah. Just to yeah, then you say anybody puts you in. Right, not true. And they're role-playing him in the bedroom. Yeah. Which just to me doesn't sound healthy. It's kind of kind of a cuckolding, but like a wordplay of a cuckolding. Well, maybe, I don't know. I was trying to think, I was like,

maybe they're trying to do a cuck thing and it's like a surprise thing. It's like a mental, and it's like a mind, but it's a good mind-fuck kind of thing. Yeah. And if you're living like, I don't know. I don't think it sounds good. You think it's a hot mess. I'm like hot mess, like it's a mind-fuck kind of thing. Like, yeah, I'm manipulating, like, I don't know. I don't think it sounds good. You think it's a hot mess.

I'm like, hot mess, like, times two. So, thanks for that. That was good. That was entertaining. And I'm glad we can help you. I love it. You guys, if you, I kind of tell you. I love every call.

Everything that comes in here. But there's some things that I just like, if you're not sure if you should do something or not, if you should go on a second date with someone, or if you should end a relationship, I'm your girl. I gotta say, I can break it down for you. We don't see sometimes the things, the problems in it. So, and you can call me with anything as you know, Triple 8, 9, 4, 7, 8, 2, 7, 7.

That was just an interesting call. I loved it. Okay, Kim 57 in Arizona is having a hard time initiating. Oh, hey Kim, you heard us talking about that earlier, huh? I did, but I have to say our success life is great. Okay. I guess last but not least, we're off. I got it.

Well, Kim, I don't know if you know this is the thing. So many women are in your position because we're like, no, our partner has been initiating for however long, 20 years or ever since I've been with men, they always initiate. So women's almost like a skill that you don't have. So you're like not confident in it, right? So like if he says to give you a blowjob, you got that. But like initiating, we think it should be so easy, but it's not. So my best advice, Kim, is asking your husband, is your husband or your partner is, is saying to him, honey, yeah, I'd love to initiate, but tell me like specifically what that looks like. Like, what's your dream scenario?

And then let him tell you, like, maybe he's like, well, I come on from work and, you know, you're cooking dinner naked or you're like, you come up and give me a kiss on my neck or you're, who knows, I don't know what it is for your husband, but that might be the thing that will help you figure out what it looks like and then you get to make it your own. Okay, that's great. Okay, let me now go as Kim. That works.

Mm-hmm, right? That works for me. We know it looks for a lot of listeners. Triple eight, nine, four, seven, eight, two, seven, seven. Remember, you guys, a lot of the things that you're concerned about and that are hard for sex, or you don't have the confidence in, confidence in, it's simply because you

have not done it. You haven't tried it. And we're so afraid of like, you know, we'll try so many other things in life. When it comes to sex, it's like terrifying because it's so taboo and we're brought up for so many messages that just prevent us from ever risking it. And I say, just, you know, try it out. You'll see it's not as bad as you think. And in fact, that's how you're gonna learn

and you're gonna exercise those sex muscles. Mm-hmm. Okay, we got another Instagram question here, from a Kim. So I wanna say I can't see the picture so I don't know if it's a gyro, actually. But my girlfriend and I wanna try bondage, where do we start?

Oh, okay. It's a great question. So a beginner bondage, where do we start? Oh, okay. It's a great question. So a beginner bondage 101, I would say first, talk about what that means. So sometimes couples like, we wanna try bondage or role play. Phantasize about it. Say, what does it look like to you? What kind of bondage interests you?

Like, maybe you guys got by a book on it or you watch some porn and you find something that's like really hot for you. So a great place to start also is like a beginner bondage kit. I mean, honestly bondage sometimes is just a matter of getting like on our site, we have some things as well. Like I think sport sheets make a beginner bondage kit. For a lot of people, it just means like a blindfold or can mean, you know, restricting your hands back and it comes with or like a tickler. It usually has to do with dominant, submissive play. You know playing with different roles and honestly like I love the Velcro handcuffs and I in a blindfold and maybe like a feather or a tickler or a spanker and something like that would be a great place to start with

Bondage and just again defining what it means to both of you maybe watching some sexy bondage scenes and then take it from there You might even have to buy anything. You might just, you could use an X-Ty. You could use an old sock. But I think also the thing about a clean sock, please, is that when you take the thing about bondage to is like taking away one sense or one sense of control, like, you know, the arms are blindfold. It allows everything else to become a little more heightened and sensitive.

And that's why, you know, it's good to start with a little blindfold. Something like that. All right. Good question. Thanks for that on Instagram. everything else to become a little more heightened and sensitive and that's why you know it's good to start with a little blindfold Something like that. All right. Good question. Thanks for that on Instagram. We have Jenna who's 38 in Canada who's got a question about orgasms. Oh Jenna, how can I help you? Hi Hi I have a question. I I guess'm pretty lucky. Sometimes I'm able to orgasm really quickly at the beginning of sex. But then when my partner wants to have longer sex, I kind of get out of the mood. And I'm not sure how to either do it again. Or I just feel like it's too sensitive and I don't want to.

Yeah, I really got it. Well, it's, you know, Jenna, it's cool because it's really, that's awesome. You can have orgasms right away. But also, a little bit is like, it's kind of a learn behavior. You're like, oh, my clitoris is super sensitive after and that's what that's just I'm done. And this is where it takes a little bit of practice

on your own or maybe with your partner. So maybe you have the orgasm first, right? And then maybe you stop and you guys go back to like, making out and maybe you're going down on him and you're massaging each other. And then he's, you don't have anything on your clitoris, right? And then maybe you stop and you guys go back to like making out and maybe you're going down on him and you're massaging each other and then he's, you don't have anything on your clitoris, right? And you're not touching it. But then for women, our refractory period is so short that for women, it's kind of, you learn to kind of get in your body and have a multiple orgasm, which means that you can, you know, just again, kiss, get turd out with each other and then you go back to sex again, and you might be surprised that that will build again the orgasm and the breath.

Like if you breathe into it, and it would be fun to just experiment like without even intercourse and just playing with it or even on your own if you've time to masturbate, you know, I think that, you know, it could also be like doing more for play at him first too. Like, you know, we always say she comes comes first which is awesome that you do come first But maybe he might need a little more at the beginning So really just and again you don't have to solve it on your own So maybe just telling him what you learned tonight and then I'll be like oh, I get it because no most people don't realize this

Like we just assume oh it hurts after orgasm. I'm done But I'm telling you you can learn new ways, you know and We have a good blog in our site too about Multivoregasms, how to have a Multivoregasm that we will put in the show notes. Because that's kind of what we're talking about here. Alright, you're so welcome Jenna, check it out. Thank you for calling. Hey you guys, you know, sexwithamely.com.

Chuckful. Chuckful of information. Chuckful of sex tips. Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed the show. Thank you all for calling in and being vulnerable and sharing your stories and participating. It's a big part of the show, so thank you all, I appreciate it.

And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithaml.com. Thank you.