Sex With Emily - Mastering Sex and Seduction with the LadyGang

Episode Date: June 28, 2017

What’s better than one woman talking about sex? A foursome! On today’s show, Emily is joined by the amazing ladies of the LadyGang podcast, Keltie Knight, Jac Vanek, and Becca Tobin to talk all things sex, dating, and all the points in between! You’ve become a first date master, but how do you get to that second one? How do you get on the same sex wavelength as your partner? Can you get back to a normal sex life after infidelity? Emily and the lovely LadyGang answer these sex and dating perplexities and more. Plus, the women cover phone obsession and relationship etiquette, their own sex lives, oral sex, marriage, and dating apps! Nothing is off limits with these ladies, so tune in for a great time! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast free: Let's Get Checked, Adam and Eve, Womanizer 2Go, Intensity  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm helping navigate your sex dating and relationship questions with special guest the Lady Gang from the podcast of the same name. They're awesome. And we are talking about the new trend that might be killing your relationship. How to get to that second date. The best way to initiate sex when it's just not your thing. And can your relationship survive cheating? All this and more, thanks for listening. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common only? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Okay, I'm talking to Lady Gang. Let's just separate this. Okay, let's just play the game. They're packed. Oh, I made you feel welcome and there was no worries. You always do. You always do. Great energy.

I'm like us. We have, we have bitchy energy. Apparently. Okay, the Lady Gang is a hot podcast. It really is. You guys started it now, like two and a half years ago. I'm here and half an hour. It feels like, okay, well, you're kicking ass.

And I'm really, I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys.

I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of you guys. I'm proud of Gang is a hot podcast. It really is. You guys started it now, like, two and a half years ago. A few and a half years ago. I mean, you're not having a lot of time. Okay, well, you're kicking ass. And I'm really, I'm part of you all. It's such an interesting show, pop culture, everything.

Like, just your raw, honest beliefs about, I don't know, how would you explain your podcast? Because I'm not doing a job at it. It's kind of like some celebrity interviews, some experts, and mostly talking about like our good and bad experiences in life. And I love that you open up with your good and bad. Yeah.

I just love all your segments and I can listen to you. Here's the thing that's amazing about your podcast no matter what you're talking about. You do want to listen to you guys, and I think three women can be hard for something that would have gone hard. But it works. I don't know how that happens.

I think you guys are funny and you're smart and you're hot, but you're different enough, but yet you just come together. We're also very self-deprecating. So I think that helps it. None of us take ourselves too seriously. Well, I take myself very seriously, but they look like it.

But in like a self-deprecating way. Yeah, right. No, it totally works, you guys. And I'm happy to have seen it grow. Just like you're in half a year. I know, you were there in the beginning. I know, I love it. I did help us.

And it's like nice for girls to be on girls side. Well, I had two insecurities. Another thing is that after last podcast, we were just talking about someone who's on your show and they were like, you guys had weird energy. Yeah. Which I'm sure. Who knows what people are thinking,

but I left and I was like, Jack, and you guys had don't even have funny don't run with us. I was like, I'm so proud of you, because I don't know what you got. I follow you all. And I saw your stuff like, and say sorry. And you're like, thanks. is. I was like, I'm so proud of you, because I don't know what you got. I follow you all. And I saw your stuff like in Sanderlake, thanks. And then I was like, great to see you.

Kelsey, Becca, like, not that you guys aren't kicking ass. Oh my, see, I wouldn't even catch my knee. I wouldn't. Yeah, no. OK, good, because you guys are all, OK, great. That's all. OK, wait, so let's go around and do your introductions of how you would do it on your podcast.

OK. Becca can just do it. I can start with. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Lady Game. I am Becca Tobin, actress and vlogger and podcaster across from me, Kelty Knight, entertainment journalist. Hi. She's on, she, oh my god.

Kelty and her voice. Yeah, she always does somewhere. She was moving into mom humor at this point in her life. It's like, in Jack Vannich has Jack Vannack clothing and all these sassy house goods T-shirts sweatshirts They're funny. I don't know. I love that. I'm a sassy bitch. You are sassy bitch It's awesome and you guys are all doing fashion and your blogs. I can find that I put all my on my website as well, but it's at the lady at Lady Gang across the board for everything. Yeah, the lady gang Yeah, the lady gang. Okay. I'm gonna ask well first what you asked you at the blowjob spray

I just want to start because I feel like from one podcaster to three other podcasters Sure help it's for blow jobs. It makes sure so your mouth is lubricated enough You know when you're moving dry mouth during blow jobs ever happening However when you're on the air sometimes right when you're doing this you're like like you don't want to be that person That's the worst It's strawberry. Yeah, you can try it if you want, and your voice will feel, you'll feel like your voice is lubricated, and your next little job.

Wait, can you start a story really quick? Please. So when you're on our podcast last, you gave us a bunch of little goodies, and one of them was. Juicy mouth. Was it Juicy mouth? Juicy mouth.

No, it wasn't. It was the buzz. The buzz. The buzz. The literal buzz stuff. It was like gel. And one night, I was going to bed. I have terrible I said I wore glasses and I accidentally put it on my lips thinking it was chapstick. Oh, you can actually test it on your lips That's a normal thing. Oh, so then I was totally just testing it. Yeah, I was like what the fuck is happy

You put it on your clippers as well Not the same night, but you guess it's fun Yeah, I'll put it Yeah, I'm guess eventually. Right, it's fun. I think that was a good deal. We all put it. Did you? We put it on the podcast. Yeah. Oh my god, I love that.

I feel like I was there. You were there. Yeah, I feel, that's amazing. What do you think? I thought it was fun. I didn't do it. I didn't. It was just me and Jack.

Yeah. I did it in a restaurant. One of our clients gave it to us. Oh, System Joe, they were like, we're trying to start this new product. What do you think? And then Madison and I went to the bathroom and then we put it on and came back to the table

and I was like, are you buzzing? I'm buzzing. I mean, just anything can help a little clitoris get going. Yeah, it was a little buzz. I liked it. What else do I give you guys, Lou? You guys are leaving with a bunch of prizes today. I gotta tell you, Emily, that you gave us like some juicy

whatever I don't remember what it was. Lou? It was like similar to this. Oh, I was like, I gave you that. Not exactly. I don't like that. And I keep it in the voice like, I gave you that, that. Not exactly. It was something like that. And I keep it in the voiceover booth at work. Oh, good.

Because it really is better than throat coat. Like I think all the singers, we should be like, what's up Taylor Swift? Or Kate, you pair like me. I have some good, awesome bits. But yeah, so it's by Doc, I think it's on our website, isn't it? Good head. Doc Johnson. Doc Johnson.

Okay, I'm going to ask you guys a rapid fire round question. One question. Because I know you guys are your podcasts. I love all your people like the segments. People like that it's predictable and you guys always have great answers. Not predictable, but they could think, oh, this is the parts that are like structure. See, do you know that my life is such that I can't even come up with the word structure?

So hard for me that I'm like, oh yeah, what's that called? Organization. Things are in order. What do you me that I'm like, oh yeah, what's that called? Organization. I think it's our in order. I know. What do you call that thing? I just did my Meyer break. It's not a thing. It's all over the place.

Yeah, I love it. That is about. That is about plug on your table right now. It's true. Okay, what's a sexiest piece of clothing a guy could wear? Ooh. I never thought of this. Ooh.

Sexiest piece of clothing. In my, oh. Okay, be like, I know. A great pair of shoes. Okay. I say like a nice fitted suit. Yeah, I was gonna say like a really well fitted like tailored suits.

So, maybe it's like my daddy issues, but I really like a man in a suit. And you also never see that in L.A. No, no, thank you. No, unless I could see. I'm like, some bullshit premiere than nobody cares about. Yeah, exactly.

I agree, I love it. I get it. But you really don't. I mean, actors. I just feel like if a guy's an actor, and he wants to date that he's not that bright, and that he's gonna be more into himself than into me, right? Yeah, I'm still new to that.

I can't say this anymore. I've lived here for four years, but I still feel like I haven't totally noticed the guys in LA are that worse than anywhere else. Aren't they much worse? I don't know, I feel like every city't totally noticed the guys in LA are that much worse than anywhere else. Aren't that much worse? I don't know. I feel like every city has its challenges around men. I feel like guys in general just kind of shitty.

So like, that's how you're feeling. You're dating though. You're on the league. I'm on the league. And I'm on Raya. The league is for people with jobs. Good jobs. That's how it's laughing.

You're like, how sad for our generation that there has to be an app for people with jobs. It's like, oh, you're like, how sad for our generation that there has to be an app for people of jobs? It's like, oh, you're getting paid well. You're like an executive position, like great. And then Rias for people in entertainment, but it's like a bunch of creative directors, AKA people without jobs. Yeah.

So that's what I'm talking about. So photographers quote unquote. Did you have to apply, who? You have to apply to people. I'm dating that's famous, anyone that you can talk about? No, okay. I don't wanna date anyway. Is to apply who? You have to apply to people. You have to be dating that's famous. Anyone that you can talk about? No. Okay. I don't want to date anyway.

Is there anyone that's like legitimately good? Like, is there a hymns worth on Raya? Or is it all like people? Celebrities you wouldn't want to date anyways? It's a lot of like, beleasters. But there's a lot of athletes. Like Kevin Durance on there, John Mayer's on there. Really?

Yeah. Would you want to match with them, just to like write an angry song about them or something? John Mayer, right? John Mayer, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. Right? Yeah. Would you want to match with them just to write an angry song about them or something? Do you have a hair? Do you have a hair? Yeah. Oh yeah. Right?

I think we can't. I mean, I love musicians. Okay. Just no actors. Right. I got you. I'm down. I mean, who knows, right?

Have you guys ever had a deal breaker for some, like, what is your main deal breaker, first of all, when you're dating? Cheap. Like, I cannot handle a guy. I can't either. I can't handle it. I can't handle it. Guns. I know that's so stupid, but like anyone that's like, it covers such an umbrella.

Guns? Like don't take me to a shooting range on a date. Don't be like, when I go to your house and I see the halo and you have like an Xbox and like you like to have play a lot of games. That's a big joke. That's too small. It's a shooting game. I don't like it.

And if you're like, I'm gonna take you to a movie and we're gonna go to a movie where it's just like, guys shooting up each other the whole time. Like all of that, I hate. Okay. If you're that kind of person. I don't like violence and I don't- Or gamers.

No one makes things. It's like any entertainment that comes from like shooting at things or people is not for me. Yeah. Interesting. But some people love it. There's girls that are like, gamers, I don't.

Didn't you say you wanted to go to a shooting range on a date? Yeah, that'd be fun. Oh yeah, it's fun. Yeah, it's hard. Why don't we have a date? We have a gun. I love it. Okay, there you go.

I love it. See, it's protected. We both know how to use it. It's like, he travels a lot. I'm home alone. I only feel safe if I have a gun. There's something wrong with that. I'm that person.

But like, don't take me on a date. But don't look at your gun. But if he was talking about guns on the first date, no, that wouldn't be hot. No, it's like don't talk about politics and shit. Yeah, yeah. It goes along in the same way. Right, that's true.

So that's mine. My deal breaker is bad grammar and texting, or like saying you, like with the letter U or LOL. Actually, LOL is the worst one. Really? But can women, can your girlfriends get away with that? No.

None of my girlfriends do. They don't go with you. I do you. You know, I'd say LOL only if it's like ironic. Yeah. So do you, ha ha? Yes. I'm a ha hire.

Okay. You go ha ha, but LOL is just, it's just lame. I don't know, I do the U thing because I'm just so, I hate it. But you can, but I really should stop doing that then. Well, it's especially when you're like starting to date. Somebody in like your stupid. Oh. I don't think I do it with the guys I'm just so, but you can, but I really should stop doing that then. Well, especially when you're like starting to date, somebody I'm like, you're stupid. I don't think I do it with the guys I'm texting and dating.

Your other deal breaker is short. What is it? Short. Sure, you can't do short. You can't do it. Like you just like six, seven. The S6-7 was my ex boyfriend. Yeah.

So not anything under that seems short. And back I just can't wait until I get married to a guy that's like five sex. I know she's gonna get married, and she's gonna be walking in the aisle. Well that's why I was gonna ask that. Because don't you think that there are some things that you think I could never deal with

but then you end up maybe with that person, right? That's my ex. Yes, for sure. So my ex had kids and that was always like a deal breaker for me too. So it's like, oh god. But you see, yeah, if you find the right person, or if you find someone that you want to,

okay guys, I have a question for you that I've been, I really wanted to bring this up today because I really, I'm taking a survey of my women friends. You're the first I've asked. So I went away with a guy recently for the weekend. And we were talking about oral sex. And he said, I think that women, he's found that more women did not

don't like receiving oral sex. He's like, they just don't like it. And I was like, well, maybe it's what you're doing or it's uncomfortable. And he's like, they just don't like it. And I was like, well, maybe it's what you're doing or it's uncomfortable. And he's like, they just don't like it. And I think that when I was younger, maybe in my early 20s, it really wasn't my thing. Like, I don't, I think I wasn't as comfortable.

I think guys don't know what they're doing. And now, I'm like, dude, you better give oral work, we're done game over. Did he? Oh yeah, this guy did it. Let's see, got it? Oh God, I see. It might just be him and he sucks at it, so nobody wants him to do it. Did he? Oh yeah, I got it. Oh, God.

It might just be him and he sucks at it, so nobody wants him to do it. Well, that's a thing I don't know. So then, and then, Dr. Drew used to say, well, we are on love line, he's like, so women just don't like it. Women who are multi-orgasmic. If you can have a lot of orgasms, those women, it's too sensitive for them to receive oral. So I'm just wondering across the board, how do you feel about oral sex receiving?

I love it, but it's like you have to be good at it, and there are so many men that aren't. So then it's just like, I'm painting the audience. But do you teach them if they're not good at it, Jack? Jack, yeah. Yeah. How do you teach them? Jack, I'm here.

Jack, then. Jack, then next. Hey, just a little bit of sex. The problem with, I feel like a lot of that kind of stuff is men just move too fast always. So with oral, it's just like slow down. We're very sensitive and also it's not just the clip. Like everything is very sensitive.

It's the whole thing, right, exactly. So take your time and yeah. Do you feel like you've taken a guy who was hurting you and not that great with oral to being like, no, I'm gonna make you go to the bathroom because I was just like, I'm not into it. Not putting the time in. Yeah, okay.

Yes, I also love it, but it has to be at the right time. I like it like after a shower. Like when you know what I mean, like come home from working 12 hours is not the time for you to be like, I wanna go down on you. Like I get why women probably are like, I've never liked it because it's like you have to be so comfortable and a little bit confident in your body and yourself to like I also like it with some lights down like I'm not about to like show you it all with

the lights up it's like for lessons. So yeah and then I agree I think it's people really are bad at it and they don't know and the problem is we started so young right like when people first lose their virginity you don't't wanna be a let down. So everyone's faking, all the girls are faking everything. Cause they don't even know what an orgasm is. And then guys get trained, they're like, well, Jennifer and 12th grade loved this move. And you're like, well, no, she didn't.

But you know, it's true. Yeah, remember, they're like, well, I have no girls ever faked it before. Like every girl has probably faked it. Yeah. But you know, do you still fake it? I don't anymore. I don't fake it.

Becca? Not with my husband, but I was a regular faker before that. Right. Because I just was like, I'm too tired to explain to you why I'm not going to get there. Right. And I think it just, you know, we don't even need to discuss it. Like, I know why I'm not going to be able to get there. I'm distracted.

I'm stressed. I'm whatever. But like, let's not make it a thing. So it's like, uh, uh, that's why I mostly would do it. I know why I'm not going to be able to get there, I'm distracted, I'm stressed, I'm whatever. But let's not make it a thing. That's why I mostly went to do it. It's really for them. We think in our head it's for them. But then we were just creating these lesions of men who were like, I'm the master of the universe. I can make a girl calm just by living in there. I'm okay with having sex sometimes and it just being like sex for you. you know what I mean? And that I, like I was on vacation recently, we went to Tahiti and I called it like the sex cation because it was like this reconnection.

And it's like sometimes we had sex and he got off and I was like, get me later, you know, and then sometimes I was like, literally hold out my vibrate and be like, it's my turn. And like, you know what I mean? It's just like, it's a given take. Like it's not gonna happen every time.

It's true, it's a baby that doesn't happen every time. Yeah, so it's exhausting to think about having to, you know. So what are your hacks then? I mean, that's, do you get off? I was gonna say, because it's so mental. It's like you have to be in the right space. Or all mental. Because you guys are strong entrepreneurs, busy women.

You come home and it's like everyone else I know listening and my friends were like, who tired? Like they walk in the door, men are more turned on, more not, or like, really? Like you walk in, you come home and it's like everyone else I know, listening and my friends were like, who tired? Like they walk in the door, met a more turned on, more not, or like early like you walk in, you have a boner because you think I look hot and I'm like in the middle of 18 things. Cause you do.

There's no way that I could fucking relax right now enough to get into my body and have an orgasm. So where did you guys found that, is there anything that you've learned over the years or now would you say the sex hack that can get you there in the mood. I still work out too. I'll say that I learned, it took me 31 years, while I'm having sex for 31 years, but close.

It took me to the last 30-minutes. It took me to the last 30-minutes. I learned that when I would get into long-term relationships, I would get a little bit lazy with the waxing. And if I don't feel clean, then it's not happening, with the hair and with the shower. So I find now that with my husband, it's really important for me to be always ready,

especially with the wax. Because otherwise, I just get into this place of not feeling sexy. And so it's like an instant, it bumps me up from like a two to like a seven if I have a wax in a shower. It's true. It's for us to. It's for us. Right, you're absolutely right. It's a lingerie. It's like everything. How do you want to get lazy? How do you know if you're ready with a wax? What if you're like right before the wax and you're going to be like this?

I mean, like just always keeping it maintained and like not going as long between waxes even though that was my habit because we have so much stuff to worry about. So much stuff. One thing grows, the other thing's chock and like, oh, no, it's insane. It's insane. At any given moment, there's like six things I can do on my body to make myself feel better and look better, but I just do as the time. Right.

Nobody has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do it. No one has to do a little late, but let ourselves know. If I have a fresh wax and a fresh mani-pedi, I walk out like I'm on a cloud. Oh, give me a spray tan, I'm like, so hot. Oh my God, spray tan. Look at this face.

I just went to Mexico. Oh. Oh. This is disgusting. Doesn't feel good when it fades. Where do you go? You go to a place you gotta hook me up with where you go. Well, obviously not.

Well, that's how they exactly. But like, I feel like the thing about the end is when to Mexico didn't get one just so in the whole time. I was like, I'm not going to spray tan. It's spray tan. I'm going to spray it in two-two-fifths. But then you spent it the whole time. I was like, I'm not, it's right at the time. But then you spent it all day long. Who's got a full day where you can't wear the makeup and do the thing.

But that's a whole other check thing. Okay, so any other, so you were saying that you give, you use a vibrator, Kelty, Jack, do you guys all use it? Oh, here's the other thing that happens. So the oral sex thing is like, we feel like it's a skill thing. Is what we're saying. But we all enjoy it here, at the table.

Yeah, I love it. I love love. And you can't teach, you think. I think you can. I don't want to. I don't want to either. I don't want to. Especially at our age.

And I can just listen to my last 86 episodes of Then we'll go out. Right. Then put your head between my legs. But you can like positive reinforcement, which I learned from you. Actually, the first time you were on our podcast, it really changed my life.

Because you have, yeah, you gave the advice of like, just say yes, you were like, it's like working out. Like nobody really wants to work out. Just say yes. And like five minutes into it, you'll be like, okay, this isn't so bad. You know, it's hard to say. And then also, you were talking about like,

saying what you like after the fact. So I've really started doing that. Where I'll be like, out with my husband about like three hours later. And I'll be like, out with my husband, I'll be like three hours later. And I'll be like, it was so amazing when you did that thing. And then he'll like, he's like, and then the next time he's like, oh, do it again. Right.

It's great, reinforcement. Not like, thank you. You really changed my life's next-to-time life. Oh my gosh, I love it. I love it. One orgasm at a time. That's what I wanna do, that's it. Did I give you toys last time or I didn't?

Cause you guys are gonna go home with something. You're gonna go home with a crisis. You always had a mission. But I give you toys or you feel the best. You gave you guys are gonna go home with something. You're gonna go home with surprises. You always mention stuff. But I give you toys or you just throw the best. You gave us the best, Loub. What was the game show? You gave me a show. Yeah, I thought more of that. I've got everything for you.

I mean, but do you guys, okay, because this is another, I think I'm dating again, because when I took that year off and it wasn't like, I'm not gonna date for you, I just looked up, but a year had gone by, which is fine. But I know I'm having all these experiences and I realize that I forget that some guys have never used a sex toy with a woman. And they still have some kind of judgment around it

or think like sex should be natural between two people or like nothing else is natural in the world, meaning there's advancements in everything. Technology, we use technology to get, we used to be in the horse and buggy, or you know what I'm saying? So even with sex, to use something that's gonna help you get over, he was like, I just don't think it says anything.

And like so when women had orgasms using a shower head, a lot of women their first orgasm. Is that a bad thing? That was a bad thing. Right, right? So was that not really an orgasm? So I kind of have to go backwards and be like, listen, it's just like if you were having ice cream

and then you can have ice cream every night, but then some nights you want a little sprinkles and then taste a little better. It's not better, I can't say better. But it's a little different. The point is, have you guys used toys with partners without? Yeah, yes.

Yes. What can't, does it do, feel like guys come along? And they're like, okay, yeah, I'm down with it. Yeah, I mean, mostly with my ex, I don't know how early I would bring it out with a random, I'm like a guy that you're just sort of dating without me talking about it first. Okay, yeah. I do that. I do, but sometimes it feels stupid.

There's certain things that are accessible. Like, here's my vibrator, here's whatever. But then the time I tried to bring out the feather whipper and I was like, what am I doing with my life? Because I had like 50 shades of gray movie and they gave me one of everything. And I was like, I'm your dream woman. I was like, what the fuck do I do with this? Sorry, I know what you guys were.

What do I do with this? Like then I felt stupid. So there's certain things that I think work and then there's certain things. Hello to orgasm calling. I'm from Mexico. I'm from Mexico. Right. So there's certain things that I think work and then there's certain things. Hello to orgasm calling. I'm from Mexico. I'm from Mexico. Right.

So there's certain things I don't like and some things I'm like, this is so amazing. Because you're not a dominatrix and then you feel like weird. You're so popular. Oh, it's the same thing going on due to the phone that never happened. I mean, that's tough.

No one calls. She's going to leave a message now. You're so kind of telling me, no, I'm not. What toys? I love a vibrator. Which one do you use? Like when you're t of toy? No, I'm not. What toys? I love a vibrator. Which one though do you use? Like when you tan it to your husband. I'm just curious about that.

I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that.

I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious about that. I'm just curious cord that has like a the egg little egg.

Oh, okay. I like an egg because it's so easy to take with you wherever you're going and it doesn't feel like your penis is too small. So let me bring out this big other vibrating penis. You know, it's like it's not like so scary. Does the egg go inside of you? No, you just kind of like rub it around.

You just totally get it. I hold it. Like you can, I can be having. You just totally like hold it. Like you can, I can be having like sex and also like hold it on myself. It's a glitter toy. Yeah, it's like a glitter. Yeah, I like it like a little mini.

Me so. But do you require it like during sex? You can still have orgasms without. Yeah, that's good. That's awesome. I'm not good or bad. But you can. Have an orgasm without a toy?

Just having sex. Yeah. Just like sex. Yeah. Just like, sex? Can you? No, really? No. Can you?

Yeah, but it has to be like a very specific angle. Me too. And otherwise though, wouldn't you kind of be like, well, I know what's the angle. It's going to take some time. I'm just going to use a vibrator. That's, well, yeah. For sure.

I mean, there are many times that it's like, you just take out the vibrator and you know, everybody's going to have a good time and it's going to be like easy, easy, and it's like you have to focus for like 15 minutes, trying to make it happen. Yeah, yeah. You haven't had the pushback then from someone who's like, I will not use a toy.

No, no. It's gross. No, okay, just putting out that. No, that's not fair. Okay, we're gonna get in sex and use it, but the other thing, I kind of wanted to talk about masturbation. I had a really important question for you too about that. Ooh, very smart.

Very smart. Just me. Okay, do you masturbate a lot? Becca. Not more than, I don't think more Just me. Okay. Do you masturbate a lot? Not more than, I don't think more than the average person. What does the average person say? Oh, but I will say, sometimes this is weird. My husband will be like, he'll go out of town

and will like, if it comes up, like, jerking off or masturbating or whatever, he'll like, did you masturbate when I was gone? Like, I never tell him I do. So you can tell that. To say that you do, right? Does he want you to? But that was gone? Like I never tell him I do. So you can tell that to say that you do right? Does he want you to? Well that's the thing. I don't know.

I mean I don't think he would care. He's not like one of those people who's like, what are you thinking about if I'm not there. But for some reason it feels like my private time and my private thing and it's not about him. Right, I get it. I know. Exactly.

It's like being on a date with myself. Yes. Well, I feel that's my thing because you guys, this keeps going. And it's true. It is self-love time. It's so important for women. I even forget, and it's my job. It's on my calendar like, try the new Wevi Wish today.

I'm like, God damn it. Talk about the show. I feel like I would feel like so only. I know. I know. Even sex toys can give me anxiety. I feel like there's so many. They're all charging. I've been almost coming over. I can't really know there's so many they're all Charging I

I don't know how many of them charging in my house. Thank you And I do this is a good great question because I actually want to interview her because I There's one here now though the same ones at clean my house and here and when I came in the other day on Saturday Or whatever day that was like Friday I walked, I came back in to get something, and he was already here, and I want to be like, hey, what do you think I do? Well, it's a man-worn thing. I'm like, because if you guys see,

there's like, do the city up this go butt plug on the table. Like, what exactly do you think? Like, what, I do want to know what I think. I don't know. We should ask that. So I was thinking about it that the one more thing is that, it's, when we look at trends and sex,

there's been so many questions lately from my listeners who are very just confused by masturbation in their relationship. And I was just wondering if it's ever been like an issue in your relationship, whereas your partner was like, why do you masturbate or do you want, do they like hide it from you or pour no issue? You guys are open. Yeah, no. It's not an issue, especially because like I said, you travel. Yeah. I bet he thinks It's not in the shoe, especially because, like I said, you travel.

Yeah. I bet he thinks it's kind of the same one thing. I bet you think it's hot that you masturbate. Yeah. If you knew, if you knew. If you only knew. No, like my last relationship was long distance too. So it was like, if you like incorporate them into it

and like make it like a mutual thing, I think it's like, yeah, super hot. I think so too. Mutual masturbation and are doing it together saying I was thinking about you, they love it. For anyone listening who wants to know about dirty talk, I get tips all the time. I feel like just near rate, whatever happened last time,

what you thought last time you were masturbating. I was thinking about you putting your fingers inside, it works. I'm turned on right now. Oh, I student. I student. I want to change your life this time. What else do you have to do? Are you already new about the little jobs? I do. But plug. There's going to be more. You want a

bug? You probably want a new bug. I don't want the one that everyone's touched. No, I do. I can't do but anything. I can give you some butt stuff. No. Okay, let's fill the sex in the news. OK, thank you. Because we have to. Fubbing. Whoa. Yep. Fubbing. P-H-U, B-B-I-N-G, worrying new phone trend

may be killing your relationship. So what it stands for, it's a mix of phone and snubbing. And it happens when somebody made conversation will become more absorbed with their mobile, than with the company they're in. It's bad news for relationships relationships it can dramatically diminish our satisfaction with the ones we're with. I'm a fubber. Yeah you are. You're a fubber? 100%. She was a fubber and middle of her. Wait, what? Do you fub in the middle of the show?

Yeah, I had it yesterday. She was posting an Instagram while she was like supposed to be wrapping up the show. Everyone, she was bored. And no, everyone close to me knows that like I can't multitask. And so when I focus in on something, it's like laser focus. And so if I get, if I'm standing on set, and my makeup artist is making small talk with me while she's powdering me, and I look down

and there's something on my phone, I'll go into the phone world. And now, and then she just looks around people, and she goes, don't be offended by Kelty right now. This is just how she is. See, that's good. But then I feel like a dick. But then I'm also like, well,

right, no, this is why I'm as a person. See, that's not doing anything about it. I'm so excited. Why everyone loves the Lady Gang podcast. I had like a friend from Chicago, staying with me and she was my best friend. I was talking to her best friend, Chicago, and she was like, oh my God,

I like Emily, I heard her on the lady gang, she's obsessed with your podcast. It was just like in Chicago. Thanks for the look. She asked me all these questions like, what you guys were like, no, I'm sure there's many gang, she's obsessed with your podcast and it's just like in Chicago. Thanks for the look. She asked me all these questions like, what you guys were like, no, I'm sure there's many. But she was obsessed with you guys just because you guys are successful, strong, smart, hot, smart, and hot. And then also, like, you're fucking real.

You're like, this is not a flaw. Yeah, we're very big flaws. Talk about the flaws. I think we like our flaws. We're flubbers. But don't you think that that's the secret in life is learning to love these things in yourself or accept them?

There's like a balance between accepting them and if it's something that can be fixed, being active in trying to fix it. Yeah, not like using it as an excuse of like, that's how I am. I'm just like a fucking asshole. It's like, no, you don't have to be. Right, that's true. And I think the power is surrounding yourself with people who can be honest with you.

Because I think we're so full of shit. And what works for us is, we love each other and we will call each other out in the same sentence. So it's like, I've learned so much about the way that I am because you're friends and people around you are the mirrors to you. You know? And no one, especially when you're in show business,

like it's just all yes men. So you're so great. And then they talk behind your back. It's nice to have people around you are the mirrors to you. You know? And no one, especially when you're in show business, like it's just all yes men, so. You're so great. And then they talk behind your back. It's nice to have people around you that are like, you're a fubber. And it actually is a fubber. So you should work on it, even though, I don't know if it's possible.

It's kind of hard when things are coming in in the world. I think when I'm with a fubber, as long as they say, hold on, I have to be an asshole for a second. As long as they're saying, I see it and also not mid-sentence. If you're telling a story and someone starts looking down at their phone and then they're just gone, it feels like shit.

If you're with somebody who, it's like let them finish, get it out, even if your phone is vibrating like crazy in your hand, that's something I had to start doing. Turning my phone off. Right. Never ringing. Except for just now I do that. Well, I mean you're working. But like when you're with people and then like with,

if I'm with my husband and it's something important, like we're all texting or whatever, I'm like I'm going in the hole right now. Like it's me. I think that's a really great way to handle it. Because I think there's some people who just don't, they don't even do like oblivious. Yeah, right.

So how about with dating Jack? All these 18 million men that are in love with you that you're dating. I'm guessing so many billion Do they do this? Are you asking? Yeah, they fub. No, I've actually been pretty lucky with it Like especially on dates. It's like I don't even have my phone out with me and I would assume you leave it at home No, no, I mean, I put it like in my purse I'm like what do you know? I love that that's where you go not like what if I get killed? Yeah, or kidnapped. That's like, I love that that's where you go. Not like, what if I have to get another date and pretend

someone's sick in the hospital? I mean, like, what if I get killed? What if they try to kill me? I gotta be able to call 911. Right. But yeah, I haven't really had anybody that's like gone on their phone, especially on like first dates. I think that's like the worst quality.

It is. So I think everyone's gotten the message now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. that's like the worst quality. Yeah, so I think everyone's gotten the message now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, to be a father. Yeah, it's hard. Okay, well I feel like I've been out with you guys and some of them are just completely clueless lately. One that I really liked and he's addicted. He even said, I'm addicted to my phone

and I don't want to do that. I'm like mid-sentence. And then he's like, there's an article that came out or some blog post, it was like people look at the phone to 150 times a day and then they keep doing sex and stuff. During sex? I was sitting with a wild goxie. He's like, well, times a day and then they do it during sex and stuff. During sex. So I was sleeping with a wild go actually. He's like, well, at least I didn't take it out during sex.

I'm like, maybe you should. I know, that's lame. I know, I'm just telling you that's. I literally slap somebody. But I think some people work on. We talk about it, but I think there's a lot of people who, I don't know, I think it's a good reminder. Just people just, they're still.

Oh, can't be a dead. OK, can we go back to your friendship for a minute? So when you said one of the things that's really helped you all kind of grow and accept yourselves, because people just, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so,

they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, they're so, Like Calty knew both of us, but not like I didn't know you like super super well as acquaintances Because you're like BFFs now well, it will mean back I met the first day that we were like to podcast one Yeah, oh, yeah, I'm they connected you they're like no, we Calty like connected us all I guess But yeah back in I hadn't met before that we're best friends So you go right you're like I swear it works, but you guys call each other out and things like you said Like it's a myriad, we're like, things that maybe other friends have not. I don't know what it was.

But I think the reason the podcast works is because we're not constantly in communication unless it's work stuff. Like I don't hear about Kelsey's date night or Jack's date with like Tom Dicker Harry. Like she saves everything for the podcast. So it's like our listeners are getting to know us as we're getting to know each other better.

Yeah, we become good friends literally. I say people have heard us become good friends. But you don't all hang out, but at work, but in the moment, you can be big college other and stuff, because that is the sign of good friend. Okay, I'm just curious, but it works. You guys, it's beautiful. Thanks.

We're gonna give a shout out to our sponsors, everyone. Thank you for supporting them. You know, they have to get the show free, and I would never talk about a part of our service that I've not used or put in my vagina. I've shout out to our sponsors, everyone. Thank you for supporting them. You know, they help get the show free. And I would never talk about a part of our service that I've not used or put in my vagina. I've been wanting to say that lately. And I'm like, that's amazing. That's amazing.

I'm not gonna say that, but I was like thinking to myself, if I haven't used it, you shouldn't use it in my tribe. So I love everything that I talk about. And I love you all for listening. We'll be right back. Okay. Okay, we're on to emails. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, I love it. So easy. You can now text me your question. Oh, I know. Do the texting thing. 7979-7979. Just text one word, ask Emily. People get confused really ask, space Emily, it doesn't work, that won't work.

It's ask Emily 279, 7979, or submit a question from the sexwithamily.com website via the Ask Emily tab. We love it. Include your age where you live and how you listen to the show. Okay, Lady Gangers. Let's do those. We love helping people. We rarely do. No, you guys a lot of women look up to you. You're audience is women. I feel some gay men. I have a few gay people. And a handful of straight men.

Okay, so here's my first question. Hey Emily, oh this came in via text, which we love. I'm a 39 female. I'm Asian, currently divorced. No kids and two dogs. I aloaked at 28, divorced at 32. Dating has been really hard for me. My longest relationship since my divorce was six months and it turned out he was engaged. I've kept myself busy,

but now I'm ready to date. I'm grappling with my own rules. I don't date co-workers or my workout mates, and I haven't had any luck on the major apps. I've asked all my friends to introduce me to at least one of their single friends, but no luck. Last night I went on a blind date, but I didn't feel a connection at all. Am I too picky? I've been at a lot of first dates. How do I keep guys interested enough to ask me out on second dates? Is there anything wrong with me? Maybe I'm a weirdo.

Thank you Emily, love your show. We love the, we love the We Vibes sink. One of the best investments I've ever made. Better than all the guys I've dated since 2012. I'm like, oh my god. I hear you, sister. Mindy 39 Seattle. Okay, so this sounds like some self-confidence,

challenges, self-esteem challenges, we can all deal with. I always say to people, like, tell everyone you know that you're single, that your friends know, you should date online. Has there ever been a time, you know, how do you keep guys interested to go on a second date? And we're not there with you, Mindy, at all. I'm just wondering if, first of all,

you said you have your own rules, you won't date co-workers, or my workout mate. I mean, I'm just wondering why, first of all, he's been more time at work, and he's been a lot of time working out, and I'm wondering what other rules you have that might be cutting you off for people. Well, number one, if it's not a thing that the work cares about, I don't know why it

should be your rule and working out with who cares. I mean, I guess go to a different gym if shit goes sour and really uncomfortable. Exactly. But, yeah, I have to say it's nice like push yourself out of your comfort zone if there's like a lot of rules that you're holding on the type of men that you're going out with. Like, yes, I've gone out with a couple of short and seven single, you guys. Oh my gosh. How cute. I believe it. Can you believe it? Right. It wasn't good because you're tall. How tall? Well, I'm not that tall, five, seven. Okay. But, um, yeah, I mean, there's nothing wrong with, like,

yeah, going outside of the envelope and seeing what happens. Yeah. Keep putting yourself out there, I guess. It sucks and it's annoying, but what's her girl's name? Mindy. Yeah, Mindy. Mindy. You sound like the kind of girl that texts first and I love it. Can't be that kind of girl. So stop texting first When he drops you off or like the date is over don't Immediately write and say had so much fun tonight like he's dead to you after the first day Do not reach out to him ever again until he reaches out for you and he's gonna wonder where you went and Absolutely date people from work. I met my husband at work now

I don't remember meeting him for the first three times I met him because I was so in my own thing And I was so busy being my own woman. I was what is it boobing? You were fubbing him I was fubbing hardcore that I didn't even notice the man of my dreams was in the hallway and you know And now we're married very happily. We both have jobs at different companies. So don't text first. Here's the thing. Just because you're a divorcee and you're 34 and you're feeling like my time is up.

I gotta find my real match and have my babies and not just dogs. Don't put all that pressure on yourself. Your eggs last way longer than people scare you that they do. And you're gonna be fine. You're a hot babe, don't lose your confidence, don't ever text first. Okay.

Okay, would you guys believe in this, the texting thing? I mean, I didn't even know this until about two years ago. My friend was like, you what? She would look at my bubble, she's like, okay, do you see he wrote these three lines? And you wrote like 16 lines? Oh, yeah. I didn't, I know.

I know. I've gotten better since then, but it's true, like those basic things, you think that women just, you can't even say the things for the day after. No. Never, never, never. Never.

It was amazing. Never initiate. Let's talk about it. I still never text first with my husband. We've been very ridiculous. See, this is ridiculous because they still won't text their husbands first. I'm like, you never, you never, you never.

Yeah, but what if you like, pick up the milk? No, that's okay. But like, yeah, I think that there's something that what happened when women But like, yeah, I think that there's something that will happen when women like all this empowerment and like self assurance that we've gotten over the years like in asking for what we want in business and like being assertive and not being a doormat. Like these are all incredible, incredible things

but you can't have it spill over into dating. Yes, have like some self respect and don't get treated like crap but like allow a man to chase you. The chasing thing. Well, it's also a man into pussies about it too. Because I think they'll be like, oh, the women can take initiative.

The women can do this. So I agree with that totally. It's like, be a man. Text the girl if you're into her. Chase after her a little bit. A little courting doesn't like hurt anybody. Right. How about not being available, Jack, even if you are?

Or like kind of waiting to text you guys of the rules. I love your advice, Kelsey, about the not right away. I just think it's interesting, because people are always wondering, what are these little hacks or what are the rules? I don't know, one one's gonna agree, but- It starts become a game, and then you're like, well, he would have to wait two hours.

It's like, then you get in your head too much, you're so foul, and then you end up sabotaging whatever it's going on. I'm always just very honest and very myself and whatever, but you're the guy. You're the next first. But I'm not desperate. Yeah.

Okay. And if the guy's into what he's into, you and he's texting you, so. I have a single friend who has this really bad habit of being like, I'm just gonna put it all out there because he's gonna see it eventually. So you just gotta see it. And if he likes it, he likes it. And if he doesn't, he doesn bad habit of being like, I'm just gonna put it all out there, because like he's gonna see it eventually. So you just gotta see it. And if he likes it, he likes it,

and if he doesn't, he doesn't. And I'm like, no, that's not at all what you do. What do you mean put what on all of your shoes? All of her first date. Like first date, like she's like, I wanna get married, I wanna have kids, I want this. Like this is what I want, and I'm not scared to ask for it. And like this is who I am.

And like if I had acted like this way, who I really am on my her stay with my husband, there would not have been a second date. Like you have to ease them into your career. I like it. You're full. This is all good advice. I was gonna ask you, what have you learned

in mystery dating you guys are in your early 30s? What, you know, I'm your 20s. What have you learned? I've talked so much. I'm so good. Mystery. But the thing for me is that like I, last mystery, a very powerful woman, I have my own career, I'm a go getter, I make money, me is that like I, last mystery, a very powerful woman,

I have my own career, I'm a go-getter, I make money, you know, like I can really take care of myself very independent. So I purposely like make my husband a god in stupid ways, like I'll come home and I could absolutely care my suitcase upstairs my bedroom, but I'm like, babe, oh my suitcase is so heavy, can you carry it upstairs

for me? And then he like comes down and I'm like, oh, I need your muscles. Like I'm so stupid about shit like real But it's like I can reach the coffee maker like I need you to like guys want to be our heroes They do it. I play a little bit into that and like really feed his ego And I know it's so stupid and Chris I definitely know your listening because you like stalk me and definitely listen Your husband. You so much. Stocks you? Yes.

He listens to everything. Yeah, he loves it. Love it. I love you guys. Anyway. Anyway, I'm just saying like, you know, men need to be needed and when we are the like power. 20th century women. I think you're right.

Well, yeah. I think that goes back. We're all independent, strong women. Have our own things going on and people say, oh, can it be intimidating? That's a whole mother conversation, but it still is. But it's the feminine energy and masculine energy. It's still why you're. It's a deep hidden in touch.

Yeah. So it's too weird. Any other things that you've learned, I just find this interesting that you used to do that you don't do now. I love this, the not chasing, the not texting. Just interesting from women to. I think I think of what I don't do now.

I think it would. He's always imperfect. Yeah, so perfect. A dating. Dreamgirl. I think I don't like what you're saying with your friend. It's like, I'm gonna buy everything out like you're in this. Yeah, I think that that regardless of what it is, and like I don't have any like weird, freaky, like crazy skeletons in my closet,

that I feel like I'm pretty much aware of my heart of my sleeve a lot, but I think that there is a difference between like not being vulnerable and holding that back in yourself and not being like Oh my god, well this guy seems so great and then you're getting heartbroken after two dates because it didn't go where you wanted to So it's like you know be realistic about things Right You never know why it's gonna end to you sometimes you never fucking know like shit But you know don't let it like it damage your you we're already hard enough on ourselves

And there's like guys don't know why you didn't call it doesn't even matter And there are guys that are like way below you that still won't be into you and has nothing to do with that It's just true. Okay, so Mindy back to you Mindy. Sorry. I feel like no I think we start with a texting. Maybe she's a little too eager Yeah, and I and oh you were married for five years So maybe you're just kind of and maybe have other thing I think other things going on. Take a class, do something that's interesting to you that you haven't tried in a while.

Cooking class, there's single trips, all those things, but don't give up. There's nothing wrong with you, I guarantee. Yeah, I think you're wrong. Okay, hi Emily, I love listening to the show. Thank you so much for all you do so that people can have better sex. Here's my dilemma. I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. About six to eight months ago, we went through a bit of a rough patch and we have the dreaded mismatch libido.

You talk about this all the time on the show, but in my case, I was wanting a lot more sex than my partner. I now have a lot of confidence problems in the bedroom and almost never initiate sex. It hurt to be rejected, so I adopted the mindset that he will initiate when he wants it. And stop trying to come onto him when I was in the mood.

Last night, he brought this up to me now that he's always initiating. Do you have any advice for how we can get out of this rut that we're stuck in? So what's he saying here, sis? It's like I wrote it. I wrote it. So, yeah, go for it.

On our honeymoon, my husband was like, I want you to initiate tax more. Like it bothers me that you don't want to, because when he initiates, I'm like most of the time game. You know, like 99.9% of the time, I'm like, oh yeah. And we had kind of like a disagreement because I said to him, I think in general, women just, it takes us longer to figure out that what we want to do is have sex. So it's like, I don't just, I'm not sitting there eating popcorn and suddenly, like, I get a boner and I want to have sex. Exactly.

You know what I mean? He couldn't understand that. And he felt like it was like this big thing that I was like almost like there was something wrong with me. Right. And so I had a meltdown, full blown meltdown, and I was like, are you so happy married me? I know, I'm like, I'm married.

I'm here so my crazy. He's gonna kill me by the way, he doesn't listen to anything, so he's never gonna know. But yeah, so I had this meltdown and I felt like really insecure. And suddenly I felt like he wished that he had married a porn star

and all these things came flooding in. And then finally I realized that I just had to sit, I had to be so honest with him and be like, I don't look at you and get a wet vagina. Does that happen that way? No, I look at you and I see a man that I love, someone I'm very attracted to, but like it's not like when I'm naked in the bathroom,

he's like, jump on top of me and ready to go. Like when he's naked in the bathroom, I have a million things I'm thinking of, and it's just not that. So I was like, I'll try better, and I had to really, really try harder. And still sometimes that wasn't enough, but he did notice.

That's good. I think it is true. We always hear that men want more sex than women and women don't initiate. We hear from a lot of men that say women don't initiate enough and then this mismatch thing goes back and forth. She wanted it and then he didn't want it at the same time. So then she felt rejected and stopped being the one to initiate sex. I also wrote this because I did this to Chris.

I would literally like me. Tell me, I would be like me, me, me, me, me. And then he just stopped and would wait for me. And I was like, well, if you wait for me, it's gonna be like six months. Like, I'm tired, like I'm going to bed. So it was like a whole decision. It is a thing.

Because the thing is, for me, I don't realize I want to be having sex till it's like 20 minutes into this. Exactly. Oh, that's what I'm like, I'm like, oh, actually, this is fun. I'm having a great time. So it's like, I'm't realize I want to be having sex till it's like 20 minutes into this. Exactly. Oh, that's what like, actually, this is fun, having a great time. So it's like, I'm exactly the same as Becca said. It's like, it's just, we're going to talk about this. You just have to.

Yeah. What do you think? I think that something that might help with it is, and I feel like you've kind of said stuff like this in the past, is maybe start it like earlier in the day when you're not with each other and text in something sexy, and then maybe that can get you both in the mood and like kind of both on the same page. Where it's like, okay, well I'm getting in the mood for sex tonight, this is gonna happen.

Right, so it's- So it's gonna lay the ground up. Because the brain, the thing is, I'm with all of you. I'm talking about sex all day. It doesn't mean that I'm all day long. Like, I'm so poor at having a night. No, I mean, I wish it worked like that. It doesn't, it's like an intellectual thing. But for me also, it feels like, and for God, it's so horny. It's so horny, it's hard. No, I mean, I wish it worked like that. It doesn't. It's like an intellectual thing.

But for me also, it feels like, and for a lot of women, first of all, the rejection is hard. Like, you go back and forth, I get that. But you'll get over it. If you kind of just start making the movies again with my planting seeds ahead of time, I think you're right. I think a lot of times we make requests

to our partners initiate more. And we don't even know what that means, right? You're like, well, what do you mean? Like, you walk in the door and you want me to drop to my knees and give you a blowjob, and then you're like, yes? You're like, well, what do you mean? You walk in the door and do what we drop to my knees and give you a blowjob and they're probably like, yes, you're like, well, do you mean that we're more in bed and I'm already washed my face and I'm going to bed but you want me to surprise you and feel like, yeah.

And you're like, all that sounds horrible, right? So I think you could get from them, like, well, how would it look to you if I initiated? Like, when do you want sex, then get some more information from the partner that's making the requests? Because then you could be like, okay, it's more of when you get home from work

get like a timing thing down. That can kind of help what it would look like to them. And then I think what really works, like Jack mentioned, is planted later on. Like if you feel like you don't back out or same with you Kat, you can say tonight, all day long I would thinking about how hot it was Saturday when you've been down to me.

And I can't wait to like suck you when I see you later. And then you've already said it's gonna happen. And then you're thinking like, okay, I'm gonna suck them later when I get home. I'm gonna do whatever. And it's in your mind. Because for women, the big disconnect is that when our brain is not on board with sex at all,

like our body is just like what? And what's happening? Yeah, so you're flipping the switch, or like it's gonna happen. It's gonna flip it, and then you're thinking about it, and then you're shaving or waxing and wearing something sexy. No, but then my husband's sitting there

on his phone, like waiting and waiting. Like if I tell him it's happening that night, and then if God. No, but then my husband's sitting there on his phone like waiting and waiting. Like if I tell him it's happening that night and then if God forbid it doesn't, it's like, oh, we don't make a promise. You can't keep girl. You gotta commit. You gotta commit. So it'll be like it's 803.

When's it happening? When's it happening? It's literally the opposite of like when women are waiting for their engagement ring. It is. Like when the guy first talks about like we're gonna get engaged, then you sit there for like the next like seven years of your life.

Is having you today? Is having you today? It's true. Is having you want me to wear a dress? Don't say something you're not gonna commit to. That's true. You could be glad by the over the next few days. I'm really excited to give it a go.

Within the next week, we will have sex. Good luck. It's confusing, but I'm glad you guys are talking about a cat and I'll also back to you what we gotta move on, but she's gonna, just talking about this. That you're going back and forth. I mean, really it's all communication, it's a lubrication cat.

Why don't you do like a 30 day sex every day, like, spree? No, because that might be scary for him if he's not as into sex as she is. Oh, yeah. It's because of the rejection part that he's stopped doing it, but okay, let's move on.

Hey Emily, I've been with my boyfriend for eight years and he's been my first and only sexual partner. Oh, I recently discovered he had a one night stand while being away in a business trip. I decided to give a relationship a second chance, however sex is not the same anymore. I can't have an orgasm nor do I feel seduced by him. Please help. I know he loves me and I love him too. I'm having a hard time enjoying sex with him. Do you have any advice so I can enjoy sex with my boyfriend again.

Thank you Rosa 23 California. Everyone's horrified and pain and it can relate. I just wish he with my boyfriend again. Thank you Rosa 23, California. Everyone's horrified and is can relate. I just wish she didn't tell you. Man out there, if you're gonna have a one night stand in a long-term relationship, go do it and just keep it to yourself. Cause like, and make sure she'll never find out. Like if you wanna stay with this person,

if this was an oops moment and Rosa true oops, do not tell. I say that too. I don't want nothing. And you still, you love your partner, you wanna make it work. But she says she discovered it. This was an oops moment and there was a true oops. Do not tell. I say that too. If it's a one off thing and you still let you love your partner, you want to make it work. But she says she discovered it. So it could have been some deep diving on the cell phone. And I just feel like it's going to be really hard for you when someone cheats.

The trust is broken and you don't just get over it. Like I'll just, this is something that needs therapy. You got to rebuild the trust. You can't just, you can't get out of your head. You're just thinking, he ran to the 7-Eleven. He's not back at, he's probably getting a blowjob in the heart. You just get crazy.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know, I know, it just assumes your entire being. It does. And so, you know, eight years, I get it. You still want to try Rosa, but it's gonna be hard for you. I think you need therapy. I mean, I really do think that the only way for couples to get through your cheating stuff.

Cause I know couples, like everything in life, when you don't deal with stuff, it doesn't just like magically go away. Like it could be like 15 years ago, and like, well, he cheated, I mean, 15 years ago, and I haven't moved on yet. Rose, if you want to really be with them, you're 23, my whole thing is, go on,

and I feel like one guy for nine years, right? I mean, she, yeah, she's, I didn't know. I also feel like, most time people cheat, it's not just like a one time thing. Right. Yeah, because once you break the seal, it makes it really easy to continue it. Especially if he's going on a lot of business trips. I had a 20-30 on his phone if it was a one-night scene. You don't think they'd be like texting a bunch or something that seems sketchy?

Yes. I totally agree with you. I agree that you should not. This might not be your guy. It might not be your guy. Dude, you're 23. Well, see, this is the thing. I don't think that people should get married before 30.

A lot of people. I agree. And I think that you've been there for eight years. Probably should go out and sleep with some other guys. This would be a great time. He might suck in bed, and that's also why you can't have an orgasm. You just don't know. Okay, Rosa, so Rosa, you're 23 years old.

I think your choice here is that if you really want to stay with him and, so Rosa, you're 23 years old, I think your toy series that if you really want to stay with them and you love them, get into therapy with them, or take some time off in the relationship. And I understand that it was your first love, it's really hard to get over it. First guy you've had sex with, it's not going to be easy, I promise you, but if you surround yourself with your friends, your family, and just start, you know, get out there and start dating when you're ready, you can even take time off. You don't have to rush right into a relationship.

But going through a breakup when you do end a relationship is a great time to learn about yourself. And truly take that time. It took me. I said that for years and never did it. And I finally did it. Best thing ever. Yep. So important.

Okay, ladies, gangers. Gangers. Gangers. Lady Gangers, same as she can accent. Okay, you guys are successful, smart, independent, entrepreneurial, hot women in your early 30s, some relationships, some not. But what would you think?

I have a lot of listeners who are younger, and you guys, your audience, lady gang, I think it's a lot of them. Women really look up to you, or all these, I don't know if people all these are obsessed with your show, but I always think like, what is different now is sex in your 30s than your 20s?

What would you tell your 20-something self or your younger girl self about sex that you've learned now? And you're like, God, I would tell her that. I wish I knew that in 1920. So many things. I would say that I think that in my 20s, I thought of myself as a, like a toy, not a toy as a bad word,

but like a prop for other people's pleasure. Like even actually. Yeah, sexually and like in life. Like in your 20s, it's like a lot of my confidence came from being like a hot girl, you know, like wearing your outfit and like having wild sex with that guy, you know, and it's just like when you're in 30, you're like, wow, like quality of life is so much more important than being lusted after by everyone and being like so crazy. You know, I never cared about myself and my own orgasms, my own happiness in life. You were just like this

thing for other people. It's probably why I'm so messed up. No, I think that's really healthy. And I see it on the internet. Like I see no manner. I'm a real mom. I am a real mom. I am a real mom. Do you you girls? No, but like all these young girls are like, they just put so much out there just for like, the likes of an attention and like sexual desire of the world and it's like, you know, you can do that for fun in a place of confidence, but like when you're really young,

it's like messes with your little friend. It really does mess with you. That's true. I think it's about confidence. So you would, you know, you would have asked, you would have figured out your own body and asked for those orgasms. Yeah, I like it. Okay. So I didn't have asked, you would have figured out your own body and asked for those orgasms. I like it.

Okay. So I didn't lose my virginity until I was like 23. Wow. And I didn't have sex, a lot of sex at all for like a couple of years after that because I put so much weight on it and then the guy that I lost my virginity to, I was like, quote unquote in love with,

but like it was like a young, like fucked up, like masochistic kind of love. But because I put so much weight onto that, it like fucked me up. Cause it wasn't good. The sex wasn't good and he was freaking psychopath. So I think for me, as I've gotten older, I've learned that sex doesn't always have to be

this like super serious. You have to only have sex with some of your in a relationship. Like you can explore yourself with other people and like find out what you really want sexually and emotionally, spiritually, whatever. And it doesn't have to be this like, and I'll be all thing with one person. It's good, good advice. I like it. Back of mine would be be careful. You're very fertile in your 20s. Be careful you're very fertile in your 20s. So, safe sex.

Like a lot of it. Right. But I think more than anything, don't get, I know that for me I was really caught up in my number. Like I didn't want to be slutty and so I was like, you know, not that you should run around and like have sex with anybody and everybody, but I think that the more experience that I got, I still felt a little guilt. You know, there was still part of me. My mom and my sister have had sex with one man, their husbands, their whole lives.

Wow. Still together, all of them. Right. So, I think for me, I had to be now in hindsight, all that sex, not that it was hundreds of people, but all that sex, it got me to hear, which is like the best sex of my life, because I got to know my body, I got to know what I liked and didn't like,

and it also really made me appreciate who I have, because it's someone who's really good at sex, and I know that. Yeah, right. I like it, it's true, it's like, so you're out, I think it's what's going to, like they would say it's about guys, but women, it's okay, and I know the number thing.

I feel like that is the number thing. Never talk, I always stand in the show, if someone asks you, never bring it up more, you I know the number thing. I feel like that is the number thing. Never talk about it. I always stand in the show. If someone asks you, never bring it up more, more mystery, less history. I know we've got damn business. Yeah, we've talked about that, because we had a question from a virgin, that was on our show, and it's like,

whether the number is zero or it's 50, it literally doesn't, it's nobody's business. It doesn't, no, exactly. Never reveal that, because you're, and women double standard, you're gonna be called a slut, or you're a prude, doesn't matter. Okay, That was great advice. Thank you all. Thank you lady gang Tell me what's coming up with lady gang podcast. I love it. I'm obsessed with it New episodes every Tuesday you come out on Tuesday too, right? Yes, Tuesday and Friday

Yeah, so when after you finish listening to sense with Emily head on over to iTunes and subscribe We also have our summer lady box going on sale in mid-July, and so it's gonna be filled with all kinds of treats for your staycation life. And so please go to theladygang.com to check that out and while you're at it, follow us on Instagram, at the Lady Gang. Thank you guys, thank you for being here.

Yeah, so what's really coming up next is our orgasm, so we're gonna have to night with all the treats, like, I'm gonna be a good friggin' time. Okay, thank you guys for being here. It's so great seeing you. And also, thanks everyone for listening. Remember to follow me on social medias. I'll add sex with the Emily across the board.

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