Sex With Emily - Masturbation, Manscaping and Mismatched libidos

Episode Date: April 30, 2014

This week Emily and her, Anderson of The Film Vault podcast and technical producer for Loveline, get into mismatched libidos, masturbation and manscaping! Emily and Anderson discuss exactly what kind of person keeps a “sex list” and whether or not being attractive means you’re bad at giving oral. Emily also talks about why it’s important to have sex as often as possible in a longterm relationship- even if you have to pencil it in. Emily also lets us in on an unexpected flower delivery from a secret admirer. She loved getting her bouquet of fresh Lilies and Orchids- wanna do the same for someone you care about? Check out The Bouqs and use promo code EMILY for 20% off. Emily and Anderson give advice to a 24 year old virgin and even talk about Anderson’s first time. Later, they discuss why everyone should try mutual masturbation and Emily reviews the importance of lube with erotic electro stimulation.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Crazy Girl Products carries unique, fair-moan-infused products that scientifically make you hotter and feel more confident. I love their new after-darkline, especially their lip-nipped tingle. To find out what that means, go to CrazyGirlProtux.com. Use coupon code Emily25 and get 25% off your purchase when you buy something at CrazyGirlProtux.com. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts and you can sign up for our mailing list

so you never have to miss another thing again that I have to tell you about sex and relationships and stuff like that. I don't send out too many you know email blasts but when I do they're really good so sign up for it. I'd love to stay in touch with you and I'm giving information to prove your sex life because that's why I'm here on the planet That is my purpose on the planet took me long time to figure it out But once I figured it out I was like this is my purpose to help everyone of better sex. I'm here with Anderson tonight Hey, Emily. Hi Anderson. I'm laughing thinking about that statement about how your purpose is here to make sure that people are having better sex

Right or more sex or the sex they want because the purpose of sex is children, but you're not doing that I know it's kind of funny the irony. I like it though. The irony is because I'm not doing children I know I'm not doing the children thing, but I think that the problem is a lot of people have children and then they Stop having sex or they stop at experimenting sexually So I think that I help people with sex from virgins to you know married people like you You're welcome to ask me anything that you want about sex tonight, about your own sex. Oh, I can. Thanks.

You're welcome. You're on it. So Anderson, if you've been listening for a while, we worked together on Love Line. He's a sound engineer. Is that your sound engineer? Yeah, I'm like technical producer. Technical producer of Love Line, which is a long-running radio show,

which I also am on Thursday nights, with Dr. Drew Mike Catherwood. If you ever want to download that podcast, you can do that as well, but not before mine. And Anderson's podcast. The film vault. The film vault. Thursey Knights are always the best on a love line because we get to hang out with the M,

with the sex with the M. I know, sex with the M. I love being here on love line. Oh my God. So tonight, I have the best, I have some Mike Catherwood, because he had a on love line, he had a baby.

And I brought him the best baby present. A few things. You can tell us what it is. I can tell you I can tell you like I had a time because it's not happening to later. So I bought him I think because you know me I only give sex presents. So I I would. Careful. What? It's for a baby.

No, I know it sounds wrong but like dude what am I going to one Z? How many ones is that fucking K get? So I got him. It's so Mike. So you know, fleshlight, right? They make the flashlight the masturbation. They have this new thing that they just launched next to it last week. And if you want one, I'll bring you one too. It's called the fleshlight phone strap. So basically, you can, you wrap it around your leg like with Velcro and it's designed to secure your phone so you can masturbate Well, it's like both hands so he could like hold the baby and masturbate is that second wrong or he just has hands free What I don't want to explain it to caption because I'm okay

So goes around your leg like this see my leg it goes around your leg like a gun holster And then it holds your smartphone because a lot of men hold their phone and surf porn and we know Mike likes to jack up. So then if you're like laying down on an account, you can have a thaw. Yeah, he's got both hands free. Exactly. He doesn't have to hold the phone and his penis. He can hold the baby and his penis. That's terrible.

He's having a threesome. No, I hope he doesn't master this. I thought it'd be funny. And then I got him a big black, you know how he likes black, he's obsessed with black penises. It's an expeanous extender. I got it from the hustler store on sunset. It looks like he can make his penis like a black penis Like is it so you put it over your penis? Yes, okay. It's kind of funny

Yeah, you're not excited and then I got him a book whatever. I thought it was fun No, I like this believe me. I like the idea of Mike being naked with a giant prosthetic It's funny a black penis and a phone strap But if anyone wants to get out go to flashlight to flashlight, go to my website, actually, and click on the flashlight banner because it is the number one selling sex toy for men. Men's male sex toy and they, they're awesome. Because it feels like it's real sex. It's like a penis extender to me though.

What is that? It goes over your penis. So I went to the hospital. So the Larry Flint building today. Right, right, right. And I met with them and they have all these toys everywhere because they also have the Hustler stores like that big one on Sunset. I, uh, I wheeled him into his, uh, into the studio once when he was on Loveline because he's in a wheelchair and as everyone

knows and, and we had him as on, uh, as a guest on Loveline years and years. Really? Okay. I just met him. Okay. Yeah. He's, oh, so he was there. Yeah. Well, the last time I was there. He's like, ah, I'm saying. Exactly see if he did say much, but I gave him some massage candles and some ball ocean, but he didn't say much But anyway, so they what they have this crazy huge black the whole room was like these big black Dildos and I just was like, oh my god. This would be so perfect for Mike So because I like to get them funny things and you know what even when people get married And kev kids I always get him sex presents because that's how I feel like you always need a little sex toy or something So um, that's is that what you were asking me? Oh, but I'll show you the extender

A penis extender that's black because he's obsessed Mike text us pictures in the middle of the show of big black penis He just says obsessed with them now the idea of how big is this is not one on your record Yeah, it'll look like he has a black penis. Life with it. Yeah, exactly. And you can get no sensation as a man. You just have the, you can look and it looks like you have a giant dick. Exactly. It's not funny.

It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. Whatever. What do you need? Another like, you know, mobile for the baby room? No. And we're going to be talking about mismatched libidos, virgin sex, someone who's got a hard time coming, ejaculating, man scabbing, and a few other things when we got there. So that would be good. So how's your week been, Anderson?

Yeah, it's been great. Yeah. It's been fantastic. Anything new happened that I need to know? Nope. My wedding ring is breaking. It's falling apart. What does that mean? I don't know. Is it a sign? Is it cheap? No, it wasn't it's stressful

I haven't even told the way I do like twisted around a lot or something It's like supposed to be tungsten and it's chipping and falling apart and she spent a lot of money I know how much you should take it off so you don't lose it. I know I'll go to a jeweler. I did they said they said you should take it back to whoever sold it to you Yeah, I won from us. There's nothing we can do Oh take it back to where you bought it. That's a good point I'll take it back to the internet to the interweb. I know that's the problem with the interweb You can't like actually go in and talk to someone But my week has been good. I actually did I've actually trying to get out more because all I'm doing is working

And I'm like I've been in LA a year and a half and people like you never write you don't do things And I think that too so last night I hosted I was the celebrity judge at this, it's called body storytelling, and there was six stories. I was the judge with Nina Hartley, who you know, who's been on the show, and people got up until the craziest, raunchiest stories like for 10 minute, eat six people, 10 minutes, and I was a judge and people were like, telling the things that you wouldn't even like want to remember that you did in bed. They were telling us. example. Like for an example is this woman was telling talking about how she was at a nudist camp and she was supposed to be swingers

and shit the last day. She's like, no, and hit on me. But then this guy who look like Sammy Hanger comes in a room like ten minutes for she's leaving and you whip side of his bag. These dildos that you have like suction cups that you suck up on the wall. I know with those and he puts it in the bathroom and he just starts having anal sex like putting it in his item and then he after he's doing that and he's like having sex with it like in his anus. He puts one next to him and then she just fucking I'm here and she starts having sex with it like she's all into it and physical and crazy. I know it sounds it got to see the show.

The other chick was not a tractor, was was she? No, not I don you got to see the show. The music was not attractive, was it? No, I don't want to say unattractive or not. But like people were talking about like the first time they like asked them out. I mean crazy stuff. Really dirty, fun, body storytelling. That was fun. And I got new interns, okay? And I know everyone's like, why do you say people? But it's been wonderful because they are actually helping me now so I can go out and do things. And last night it was great because a lot of my people listened to the show. I don't get to meet them all the time.

So I got to meet them when I was out and about. And it was fun. You look very well rested. I do. You look perky. I am perky. I've been trying to sleep although I'm still a little sick for months.

But not really. But yes, I'm perky. I'm sleeping. I'm trying to care myself. I'm drinking hot chocolate. Now I figured out how to work the hot chocolate machine in the back. I just wanted you to know that if you're worried about that.

So the awesome thing, also about the interns is that, so we do this thing and so everyone knows, we haven't done this in a few years because in San Francisco, I always had interns, but here we do this thing called intern sex tour of you days. So they're all young and they haven't really experienced much with, you know, sex and so funny

because in my office, you walk by the door and it says sex with Emily, because I'm in this new office in Hollywood that like there's a bunch of other offices around there. And so I gave them all, you know, candle on the first day in Emily and Tony massage candle. And so this one of my interns has a boyfriend, and she came in the other day and she's like,

oh my God, it was amazing. I used it with him. And she's like, it was like that we've been together for months and I haven't brought anything like kinky or even what's not even kinky, but in heat, she's like, it was like that we've been together for months and I haven't brought anything like kinky or wafing what's not even kinky, but in heat, she's like, I wanna give you massage. She's like, let me do it to you. And she said, it was such a big,

like it opened up their relationship in a way because it was like something new, like a massage. And you know, it's kinda, yeah, you pour the wax on your partner and she said it was really, really sexy. And she's feels like she's already learned a lot being an intern after just like the first week because I gave her a massage Kindle so I actually feel good about that and I gave her a vibrator So being my intern if you want be my intern email me, but they get good stuff

What he said in terms of yours tell their parents back and I don't know exactly I don't know what they tell him but you know I'm legit. I'm a doctor. She works for doctor sex It's not like it's so bad But I love watching them all open up. Like even Lauren who's my sister now when she's my intern like you know she was like 19 is giving you sex choice. I mean you know they were all learning about their sexuality. Some of them never had orgasms before. So it's a fun journey. But they she loved the massage candle and if you always have heard me talk about this and you love me and you like the show which is free for all

of you and I have to make a living. These candles are a Roman therapy. They smell amazing. And you pour it on your partner. It's not oily or sticky or waxy. It's like, you know, warm. Yeah. She brings them in for us every now and again. Emily and Tony.com.

And you use Cupuncoed Emily. What for 20 off? Do you want more? I have more. And you brought some in the other day. And I was trying to steal one for you. Oh, I have one of my company. And you wouldn't believe. I mean, how upset she got. and I was trying to steal one from you. Oh, I have one in a cup for you. I'm gonna use it. And you wouldn't believe.

I mean, how upset she got. Did I give one to Lindsay? Did I give one to Lindsay? I'm just saying that these things are coveted. I know you guys love them. I have more in the car for you guys because we ran out. I mean, it's been amazing. So if you love them and you want to do a good gift, do that.

Okay. So, I've got a little bit of sex in the news going on here. I just want to tell you some things that's happening. Oh, one more thing I have to mention. I know, you guys. But listen, if you're in Los Angeles, I'm hosting an event. I'm facilitating an event on Wednesday, April 30th, which I guess is next week from 639. It's actually in my office space in Hollywood.

And it's really cool. It's called hacking the screen. How a math genius hacked okay, cupid and found love. Did you hear the story about this guy? It's the craziest friggin story. Chris McKinley, he's 35 year old mathematician. He was one of about 40 million Americans looking for romance online. He went to every website, couldn't, couldn't find love.

And he hacked into okay, Cupid. And he found his perfect match like he found this one when he hacked into it to find her and now they're married. And he releases the press and he talked okay, Cupid and he found his perfect match. Like he found this one when he hacked into it to find her and now they're married. And he releases the press and he talked, okay, Cupid, and said, I hope you don't assume you for doing this. And now he's like, there's been all these press written

about him, but like, he should be hired by them, right? Exactly. Like he hacked it. So it's funny. So if you guys, it'll be on my Facebook page, text with Emily or my website and you can find more details about that if you want to come see me and say, I,

be a fun event. Well, what he, who uses hacking technology to find a mate? You know, it's so amazing. You should be draining bank accounts and then having whoever he wants. I know exactly. Right. Exactly. But clearly, you really probably does that too,

but he really wanted to find love. He went from 90% incompatibility rate to women to over 20 messages a day. How he used bot bots to trick the system plus get real-world data tips from leading sex experts and stuff like that. And he can hear a story how he hacked it and found true love. The woman that he found that he targeted

the ex-husband to, that's kind of amazing. Very cute. Very cute, very good story. But yeah, you'd think he would do it for like long-during money or something. But okay, here's a little bit of sex in the news. A Tennessee woman named Dallas Archer 19 was getting booked for driving with a suspended license. Right after the police pulled her over, they found a gun in her vagina.

Yes, I heard about this. Did you? Yeah. The gun was found in officer noted an unknown object in Archer's groin. Two female officers took her to the bathroom found a four inch North American arms 22 L.R. revolver in the young women's vagina turns out the gun was stolen from a man named John south or he's old to 70 exactly and it was loaded what she fuck what are people insane if she if she contracted and have an orgasm she might have been able to pull the hammer back but why would you drive around the loaded because you're afraid they were pulling over and she just stuck in her vagina and

Ouch and it could go off where people she dropped me people are crazy, but I thought that was important sex in the news. I don't mind crazy dudes. I don't like to hear when you ladies are crazy. It makes me feel creepy. I don't like it. You know what I mean? Really you'd rather hear about a crazy dude. I much rather I do have a four inch Gun up is asked then a nice little lady having a gun up or vagina. Yeah, for sure. This is a little bit disturbing, so let's hope that you all don't do that. The best part though is the old dude, the guy that owns the gun, he's taking it back. He's like, yeah, I'll just put a little bleach on it.

It'll be fine. Seriously? Okay, so I don't know the rest of it. And she got arrested, obviously, though. Okay, so here's another thing I want to talk about. So because this actually got interviewed by the New York Post post about this the other day and i want to know what you think of this and i think i didn't i need to know if you do this to your if this is more of a do you think

so did you hear about lindsey low-hand um... she leaked her very real sex list who she slept with did you hear this is the new so she confirmed it she's the show on opus network on the own network that she has a sex list of all the guys she slept with and it was leaked to the press. I thought it was a lot of ladies. Well, isn't she sleep with the lady? Yeah, but this was all like, you know Orlando Bloom, Zach, Efron, James Franco, like all these guys she slept with and she says it's because it was her inventory because she's an AA, whatever it was the fifth step she had to write it down and someone stole the list and like leaked it to the press. She slept with like 15 dudes in Hollywood, right? And she's really bummed about it.

The thing got, you know, that her sex list got released because she wasn't her fault. Who knows what the hell happened? Because it's also a story that she was just bragging to her friends about it. So the question I got asked by the New York Post was, do you, do people really keep a list of everyone they've slept with? And do you keep count? Like, did you ever in your life make a list of everyone they've slept with? And do you keep count? Like did you ever in your life make a list of people you slept with?

Like right, pen to paper? Yeah. I do that with movies. Oh, okay. I don't deal with people I slept with. Right, even when you're younger. When I was younger, I had it in my head and then you get to the point where you kind of lose count.

Yeah, exactly. See, I thought that's what I said. I said, I think it's a young thing. But I had this tragic breakup when I was like, this wasn't why we broke up, other things. But I was like 25 this guy. I was dating. I was at his house and he was gone to work. I was about to go to work and I opened up the drawer.

I'm not a snooper. I opened up the drawer to get a piece of paper and I pull out his notebook. So I opened up a notebook and inside of it was a list of all the women he slept with. And I was not the last name on the list. We've been dating a year. So after that name was his boss, his massage therapist, and someone else. I'm like,

oh my God, I was sequential too, because he was like his ex-girlfriend was the name before me. And I'm like, what, oh my God, it was idiot, like douchebag. Like, I can't believe that he keeps his list and then I find out it was cheating on me and all this stuff. It's not crazy. Tell me what happened when you confronted him. So I confronted him and I freaked out

I was so upset. I was like I can't believe you stuff with your boss like when he's like when we were on that China trip because they did this trip China and I just like freaked out like broke up with them and then we got back together Oh, he didn't deny I was hoping that he'd try to come up with some kind of crazy. Oh, no that was before or something No, he didn't like I'm dyslexic and I wrote it out of order But yeah, he didn't deny it but butlexic and I wrote it out of order. But yeah, he didn't deny it. But he was kind of a sex, son of a sex act, but we had really great sex, not a sex addict, but it keeps kind of very sexual. And at the time, I had just gotten back from traveling for a year or when like backpacking

through Southeast Asian. I actually hooked up with other people when I was traveling and I told them when we were gone, we should see other people. But this was when I was back this all happened. But so then she asked me is this a common thing? And just don't know I'm wondering if people actually really keep a list Like I know when I was younger I was counting and I was like I really want to keep my number low And maybe when people get married at a young age they can remember but I was just wondering if you keep it because they asked me that I'm like, I don't know I think there's a certain type of person that absolutely does and I think there's a lot of

Probably too busy. I don't remember everyone. I'm kidding. I haven't slept with that money. It's six three. Okay, so Adam and Eve.com quizzes Americans on oral sex importance because you know oral sex is one of my favorite topics. Just over 73% of the men pulled and 60% of the women pulled said they believe giving and or receiving oral sex is an important part of sex. 26% of the men and 40% of the women pulled said oral sex is not important to them. Which is interesting because 40% say it's that important. 26. So men love blow jobs.

We know that. Right. Except for that 26% who can't achieve orgasm with it. A lot of them got a lot of guys can't. Yeah, I think those are probably the guys that don't think it's important. No, but I think it's like our guest last week who said that he was just getting blow jobs from people who couldn't do it. He was like sleeping with 22 year olds.

And he was like, I've had bad blow jobs. That's why I don't like them. I'm like, you need to get a killer blow job from someone who knows what you're doing. And then you'd have to probably have an orgasm. You're not going to like this, probably. But I've kind of realized that in my exploits when I was younger, that the better looking, the broad, the worse, the blow-jump. This is what everyone says, because they're so good looking, they just rest on their

laurels and they just sit there and look pretty. Is that really true? And I think smart ones do it bad too, because they don't want to have to do it. No. I had a girlfriend admit that to me. She said she gives bad massages and that blow jobs because she's lazy and then we like i'm a bad boyfriend you're dumped did you dump her she's long

do i mean really like i don't understand why women don't like blow jobs are and i'm saying men don't like oral sex it's such a giving like you have to it's all about enthusiasm being into it and i believe that like men who say they don't like it having gotten one that blew their mind and women who don't like oral sex i believe for some women there's pain they don't like it, having gotten one that blew their mind and women who don't like oral sex, I believe. For some women, there's pain. They don't like, it really feels uncomfortable

that they'd rather have sex. But for a lot of women, I think they have some body and just choose maybe they feel like they don't, you know, men don't really wanna be down there. Because there's a lot of guys who want to be oral sex on women, and they're like, no, no, no. And again, it's like the same thing I've been saying, I'm sort of on this whole kick lately

that there's a lot of sexual acts I've been saying I'm sort of on this whole kick lately that There's a lot of sexual acts. I believe that people say they don't like for example anal sex. Oh, I had a bad experience once or people have bad experience with oral sex a lot of men Don't like performing a women because they had someone with poor hygiene And so I think if you've had one bad experience like, you know, some women had bad experience with anal sex So some guy just shoved it in without loop that if it's something that you're curious about, I don't think you should write it off your list for the rest of your life. I believe that you can actually try it again,

but do it right this time, like have anal sex, but do it with loop, do it slowly, do it with someone you trust, or if you went down and someone and she wasn't whatever into it or the hygiene thing, make sure to take a shower beforehand. I mean, I think that people can learn to like it. And women are like, blow jobs, I just don't understand.

I believe that you don't have to swallow. But be enthusiastic. You've got to be into it. But if a woman's on the through, do you think enthusiasm was like the most important thing? About that. Not over enthusiastic, though. That's way worse than she looks like a porn star.

When there's like a lot of head moving, I think that your guess last week was talking about how that was a problem as well. When you're Oh, you're messing me up too much. Like, you know, if I watch these acts like on the internet or something, like if she's like really overdoing it and like a bad actress and I've had it actually happen to where they're like trying to get into it, you can tell that it's like motivated by a porn. Yeah, but it's not real. It's not organic. Right. It's like I'm getting so into this and they're making noise and stuff. It's like, all right. I'm teaching a blowjob class. You should. Like that.

Andy's dick. Exactly. I'm going to do it at the hustler store in LA. The one on Sunset, which is a beautiful. I'm I just talked to them about today because here's the thing. I feel like lately people we met. There's a lot of women. I know who in their 20s, whatever they're learning from porn and they're not doing it right. And there's just some very simple tips because I believe that I do give a killer boja I know a lot about oral sex I know it men like I know how to do it and I feel like I should share this with the world and it's hard for me to explain on the show so I have to show I don't think I'm gonna have a penis there actually

but you know what I mean? What it is? Haven't thought about it yet maybe a big one of those dildos that I'm giving Mike today I don't know but um yeah. Maybe one of those dildos that I'm giving Mike today, I don't know. But yeah, oral sex. How do we get in there? Oh, because they add a mini pull. So I think that's interesting.

So oral sex can be a fun, wonderfully satisfying part of sex. And they just say they encourage people to have sex. But also, if you like adamaniv.com, they're awesome. You can go there and they have this amazing deal. Use coupon code Emily. We've had a deal with them for a long time, but people love it because it's like 50% off and you get free gifts and all the stuff. So if you want a sex toy, you can go to there

and use coupon code Emily and you get some great free shipping and all the stuff. Okay, let's get into the emails. Let's do it. How about that? Okay. Wait, the Adam and Eve stuff, when it gets shipped to your house, it's discrete, right?

Totally discrete. It's totally discrete. Okay, sorry, it's discrete. It doesn't say like Adam and Eve your big giant deal those inside and and it has like an extra evidence but they also like blueprint right but they also throw in like I'm telling you it's so funny because people you know I've got thousands of podcasts and iTunes and people should subscribe to it well there's only hundreds up now but I have two thousand of them in my archive but people go back always they're always discovering my old shows and they keep using this coupon code because it is a really good deal and

You get free shipping, you get like a free free gifts, you get like all this stuff and it's very discrete. So check them out. And yeah, discrete because no one wants to know, hey, you're you know vibrator arrived. You gotta be discrete with this stuff. Emails. Emails. New hair on penis. That's the title of this one. Emily, my wife and I are very sexual. Love pleasing each other whether it be teasing, for play, massage or sex. I'm a believer. I'm making sure that I'm grown downstairs so that getting ahead is enjoyable for myself and so that my wife doesn't have to pull hair out of her mouth.

Recently, I started to grow hair on the shaft of my penis. I'm nervous to take a razor to it because I don't want to grow more. My wife says it's fine, but now I'm a little self-conscious. I can't use some of my sex toys now because some of the hair gets caught making it less than pleasurable. Love listening to a woman's side of the pillow. Thank you for all the advice you give. Keep up the great work. J.R.

So, my question for you, Anderson, since you're the only one here on the show with a penis, did you ever get hair on your shaft? Is that not yet? Okay that might happen. That's so I'm okay. That's horrifying. I feel bad for the guy. Well you know you get older, you get hairs where you don't want to me to lose hairs where you do want to. He doesn't say how high up though. I know. I know. Like on the head. I say shave it and here's the thing J.R. You you say you don't want more to grow. That's actually a myth. People think that the more they shave, that it's gonna grow back thicker, but that's a myth. That's not true. That's why like a lot of women are like, oh the more you shave your legs, like we were like grott, we were brought up learning that and That's not true. So you could shave it. Just be careful. That's not a problem. You could also pluck it if it's just a few hairs pluck it and then use some like you know

Some after actually Anthony Anthony dot com my partner in Emily and Tony has great products for after you know Should raise your burn or whatever that could hurt here. I can hurt a lot What if you if you tweeze your penis? Yeah, when you put after shave on after you shave It's like really super sensitive. I know that could be right. We'll just be careful with it But I want to use nair. I want to use N- No, no, don't use any chemicals. I think you're on a ton. I think you should pluck or you could try to shave. But be careful.

But I understand because he's probably using a penis ring or something that cuts, he says it gets caught in the rubbery. Fleshlight. He could be using a flashlight for, that's exactly right. See, that would hurt if it's pulling the hairs up and down. Look at me, I'm doing the flashlight thing.

People are freaking out over the flashlight, by the way, the stamina unit, because it actually helps you last, just because all my listeners have been like emailing me about it, that they're buying so many of them, because the stamina unit helps you last longer in bed. So you're masturbating anyway, and you last longer in bed because you're training with it, and it feels like you're actually having sex So that's it sex with Limey.com go to the flashlight banner click on it. You get discounts you get the thing But yeah, I would just say don't trip on it. I would say you could even I this I don't know but you could maybe get it laser I the penis. I know a sense of like I got laser down there not like like so you're done forever

Forever really not the whole thing because I didn't want to get it all gone because what if the bush comes back so I thought I don't want to get my entire thing laser but I got like important parts laser that might you might think are super sensitive but it actually doesn't hurt and it's worth it for a lifetime but for now just start plucking shaving play around with it and that's what you should do because man's gaping is important. Do you manscage? A little bit. I don't have to.

I don't have a whole lot of hair going on. No, you don't. Okay, good. Thanks for all the information. Miss Match libido's Emily, first of all, I love your podcast and all the great advice you give you. Sound like such a fun person and I hope to meet you in. She is.

I'm super fun. My question is how do people in relationships with opposite sex drives make it work? My wife and I have been married for seven years and together for nine. We have two great kids and have a great relationship other than sexually. I have a very high sex drive and my wife could go without it for months at a time. I've been open with her trying to find out what works for her and if there's more that I need to do to turn around, she insists that I turn around and that I hit all the right

spots and we do have sex and that the four plays great for her It's just that the sex is so rare and it's really hard to deal with I don't want to get upset with her But it feels like I'm begging for it and when she says she when she does says yes It's almost like she's agreeing just to shut me up. Please help sign Kevin P.S. I would love to try the flashlight and let you know how it works for me. Any chance you still has some to give away or any recommendation of a clitoral vibrator to surprise my wife with. Okay, first of all, he's talking about mismatch libidos. This is one of the most common questions I get asked. Is, you know, what do we do? You marry someone or you know, you're with someone for a while and of course the first year, year

and a half, you both want sex all the time, you're ripping each other's clothes off, then you get married, you have kids or whatever happens, you're together a long time and eventually someone wants more sex and someone else. And the problem is, it's hard to work this out beforehand because you don't really know that it's going to happen. So I would say to you that I love the idea of trying to surprise her with things and spicing up just like my intern said, like bringing a candle, like it was the simplest thing, like these massage candles that make you, you know, it's just like giving each other first of all. Massage is a great gateway to intimacy.

Who doesn't want a massage? So maybe your wife, maybe she's busy, she's working, she gets home, she's stressed, and the sex is the last thing on her mind. Unlike men who you guys can be ready for sex in like zero to 60. So maybe you could say, honey, I'd love to give you a massage tonight. Instead of like begging her for sex or making her feel guilty about it, if you relax her, one of the biggest killers of women's sex drive is that they're stressed out or that they've other things on their mind.

And so if you get her place where you're like, honey, I just want to give you a massage. I got you this great, for example, massage can. I'm not supposed to push my hand, you know, massage can put the do you feel free and amazing because it's warm coconut oil on your body and it's not messy or sticky and you can give her a massage and it smells amazing. It's almost there, but you just give her a massage with massage oil. I don't care how you do it, but that's how you could relax her and just say, I just want to give you this and then see, you know, see how it goes from there. Like don't, the more, I feel like the more that guys directly like you, you don't do this enough

for a woman thinks that every time you look at her, you're walking with a boner, you're expecting sex, she's going to want it less. But if you can ease her into it by making her feel comfortable and relaxed, she might want it more. Now also, this is something that you guys could even talk about. There has to be some compromise in the relationship because it sounds like you're already getting really frustrated, Kevin. So, you know, find out, you know, what else she could do, like if there's like a compromise in the relationship because you're getting frustrated. You're getting frustrated, Kevin.

Find out what else she could do. If there's a compromise of how many days a week you want it five and she wants it one, maybe you have to make the date night for sex. I know people say I don't want to kill under sex. It's so boring. But the truth is, if you know that you're having sex on two days and Saturdays, then she's not feeling anxious that every time

you come home, you're going to try to whip your penis out and stick inside her. And she knows that it's like a date. So that's not a bad idea, either. And I love the idea of getting her a clitoral vibrator because clitoral vibrators during intercourse are amazing because as you all know, only 30% of women actually have orgasm during intercourse because the penis into the vagina, PV sex does not give you enough clitoral stimulation. Some of my favorites are the, we know, the J.J. Mimi,

Mimi. Also the Lilo makes one called Siri. You can just, because the thing is she can just hold it in her hand and use it on her as a little vibrator. And he could use it too. The Lilo. The Lilo. Does it come with a stitch? L-E-L-O. No. It's a little in stitch. No he could use it too. The Lilo. The Lilo. Does it come with a stitch? L-E-L-O. No. Lilo and stitch? No, I'll get it.

Terrible. No, but there's some great ones. So again, since we're talking about Adam Need, go to AdamNeed.com. You just keep on going to Emily. They great discount. You get 50% off the first item. And then also, he wants a flashlight. Should we set him a flashlight?

Yeah, you know what? I don't know how open they are with their sex life and they're locked thereof. It doesn't set me. Maybe he has a flashlight just hanging around and he makes her jealous with the flesh like or maybe she gives him a hand here's another thing about the flashlight that i love i'm sort of obsessed with it lately because i just feel like it

men there's so many toys for women but there's not a lot of for a month one so if it and it's like why not mix it up you guys have been using your hands in the beginning of time and it feels like your ex-heavy sex. So what she could do is, if she doesn't want to have sex, she could actually masturbate him using the flashlight, put some lube in it, feels a little different. That could be kind of fun if she doesn't want to have sex

and he still gets off. Right. I don't know. It's a way of mind. He can just make her feel superfluous and like, hey, I'm using the flashlight. I'm using the board. Exactly.

I don't need to. A lot of ladies I know, as soon as they feel like they're not needed, that's't need any more. Exactly. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more.

Exactly. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more.

I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don't need any more. I don and see how that goes I want to help them J.R. We're gonna give you flashlight. Happy day. Have you seen the beer can one and it's a butthole? No, yes, I think I have that one

It's really a beer can. I love the fact that your life is that crazy that you might have a beer can butthole flashlight dude my and your property, but you don't know my entire garage I know I should have a tour of the love line staff coming to my garage and looking at all my toys. I actually should have video for sure. I know we've talked about this. I should just shoot a video of my entire sex toy collection because it's pretty hilarious and I I have it all organized by Lake Clitoral Toys. Connum's you know, vibrators candles, sex games, like dice, like the sex dice, I mean it's crazy mmm and I just went to no office so now all the toys are being shipped to my office and I'm like freaking out cuz I have to go to IKEA and get all the

storage because I feel like build at the small office I gotta build up cuz like all the toys are coming in now you're like build shelves now gotta get shelves I gotta like like break down walls I mean cuz the toys come every single day we got a shipment of of flashlights which take up a lot of space. We got a bunch of stuff from these new, like, a touchy magic ones, of course. We got some crazy, I mean, it's just insane, my office. And so it's so funny because my building is like, it's so it's off the space where people are like movie producers and like digital artists and like web, web, whatever, and everyone does it. And then my, my, everyone has a name under it, it's

sex zombie. So people to stop in and they're like what are you doing here and then they walk in like candles are burning there's a thing of condoms sitting out there there's flashlights everywhere it's pretty freaking funny I would think that a lot of people think that it's actually sex with Emily I know what do you mean like your like a massage partner right exactly like can I come in here for like a handy poke their head and say what is is it? Have you got glasses? Exactly.

You should have like a little red light in the front. I could have put my company name, my LLC Chick Flick Productions on the door and I thought it would have fitted. I should have. But like I'm more sexual thanly than I am my LLC. And what am I going to say? What am I going to do? Okay.

And another thing I want to say is that, okay, this is what happened to me this week. So after my dirty storytelling show last night, I came home and I, I know I didn't explain it very well to you all because you can't tell someone's 10 minutes right, but it was a pretty really, really fun night. So I got home and I walked up to my house and there's this guy that I've been seeing. Oh my god. And I was talking to him on the phone and I walked up to my house and there was the most beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting right outside my house And I was like, oh, you've got me flowers. That's so sweet and he's a No, I didn't because I assumed he got me flowers who else would get me flowers. They were beautiful

They were lilies whatever and it was from this other guy and And it was like this other guy that I kind of know and he was like, oh, you know Just thought just because that a beautiful woman deserves Me to flowers and they are the most beautiful ladies and orchids and they're my favorite thing Like those are my favorites and they're gorgeous, but then I felt so bad So I said it was anonymous and I didn't know who was from which I really kind of don't you know this goes out And people can hear this right? Yeah, well, I don't think he listens but listen So anyway, this guy was super sweet too, but he but I'm not dating any one person. I just assume that this guy that I'm talking, I'm dating multiple, I don't date one person. But there's other guy that I barely know,

left me flowers. So the point is, is it made me so friggin happy? Because flowers are the kind of thing that I don't typically buy for myself. But I always like, I want a house, like when I make a lot of money, I want to be one of those people who gets fresh flowers delivered every week. Okay, so speaking of flowers, okay, let's face it folks, that sending online flowers isn't socks. We've all been burned. So now you're like, I'm going to spend $19.99 and then it becomes $74.50 and what shows up isn't what you ordered and then you're ever about flowers for it, thanks for cheap.

So they're mostly dead and then you get spam non-stop. So the geniuses at the books.com launched a whole new way to send flowers. That's THE B O U Q S dot com books because they took bouquets and simplified them. The books that come sends flowers straight from sustainable farms located on an active volcano in South America. Wow. Seriously, that's true in the volcano. So that's weird. And I love it because they're volcano flowers. They have to be amazing. And they charge a flat rate of just 40 bucks with free delivery. 40 bucks. You can send 40 bucks and mother's days coming. I don't I don't see. I really don't see how it's possible. They can send people

out there on an active volcano to pick the flowers. Yeah. It could be so cheap. And they don't even charge you for the volcano part. They just throw that in. Just like, hey, mom, I got you flowers from my newspaper. And they're from a volcano. It's like a bonus. So your loved ones get beautiful flowers and you save cash. So for limited time, the books.com is offering 20% off with promo code Emily.

So go to the books that's THBOUQS.com. Click on the shop button on the top of the page and send that special someone to book don't forget order a promo code Emily twenty percent off with flowers from a freaking volcano but it made me think about this because I was like wow I was so I don't even know if I like this guy but it's like the flowers were freaking gorgeous and it's the kind the reason why flowers to great gift especially for women like I don't know anyone who doesn't like flowers and it is the kind of thing where I'm like oh I really want to spend twenty bucks on my own flowers.

So anyway, it's awesome. Just want to tell you about that little thing last night. I've had a good week with men. They get me nice things. I'm Emily, and I don't only date one person ever. Okay. I am a fairy against monogamy. I'm super busy.

Okay. Virgin Sacks. Hi, Emily. I love your podcast. I'm a male age 24. Your podcast has shifted my sexual pleasure from porn to sexual fancy. My question deals with my virginity. My religion is Tommy since I was young that sex slash masturbation outside the bonds of marriage is a sin. I'm still a virgin at the age of 24

I love to masturbate and I'm trying to figure out and I'm trying to figure out what I like I really am ready to finally have sex, but there are so many expectations that shamefully look me in the eye. What should I do? Signed anonymous. So this is an interesting dilemma. This comes up, a lot of people are raised, you know, they have conditioning from childhood that is still influencing them.

Their religion says that sex is bad if you masturbate, you're going to go blind. And sometimes this strong messaging from religion are so deeply integrated into your belief system that it can be really, really hard to get over that feeling of shame on your own. So if you're having conflicts with it, I love anonymous, or anonymous that you actually are ready now. But if you feel it told you back, I have to suggest some therapy, just to talk it through if you think it's prohibiting you from really going forward, because I know a lot of guys who actually have sex, but then they end up developing, you know, guilt, shame after it. I know guys who are raised, you know, really religious, and every time they have sex, they're afraid she's going to get pregnant or something bad's going to happen to their rest, even though that's not completely conscious, it's still messes with them. So,

I think a little therapy, if you think it's holding you back, you should try that out, because then you could get rid of it and not carry it around for your lifetime, because you're only 24 years old. I think therapy is good for everyone. I like that you're masturbating also and figuring out what you like, because it's so important to know your own body before you actually start having sex. And the most important thing that we can all do as sexual beings is to make sure we have the best sex always. Just be relaxed and calm and use protection

and use lots of foreplay when you're with your first partner and just don't rush it. I feel like a lot of virgins are like, oh my God, they're so nervous, I have to be perfect. No one's expecting you to be perfect. Just pay attention, be calm, breathe, don't rush into it, and make sure that you are taking care of her first. Lots of making out, lots of foreplay, and it'll be natural. And then eventually it's like riding a bike.

And just know the first time's not going to be good. Yeah, it will be good. Was your first time bad? Oh, yeah, it's terrible. Like the worst ever. Oh, I think it's too bad. Was it like, it was like, it was like traumatic. Well, I almost have like, it was the first one was so bad. I don't even know if it was the first one You know what I mean? What do you mean like it didn't really count? I'm not sure it actually ever happened. I was on a tennis court. It was dark You blocked it. You're both very drunk and like 13. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god Did you miss you? I can't I don't I don't think I ever made it in then the next one was like

You didn't make it in because you ejaculated you. No, I couldn't even like there's gonna be performance Performance anxiety. Yeah, there might be and you might come really quickly dude mr. Anonymous So just don't have high hopes for it Yeah, no, there's gonna suck and once you get one under your belt. It's all you know Fine from there exactly and you learn and you learn and you learn and you learn and you keep listening to shows like mine I'm reading and just keep educating yourself and and paying attention to what she wants because we know the in and out you're gonna have an you're gonna orgasm but for women You know play with the brass just slow it down I think that men at a young age you've never had sex they get so excited. They rush it really quickly plus I think and I know that I was guilty of this when I was younger once I was done. I just thought that it was done

Yeah, you didn't know yeah, I didn't think it wasn't that I'm selfish You didn't know right right so that's what I'm gonna continue to do Stuff to her after I'm done. Yeah, you absolutely have to I feel like people in their 20s even don't know this like I feel like my sex guys in the 20s They were just like I came and I don't even know that it was even an option for her to come I'm assuming she had a good time because I had a good time. They don't even know that women Can have orgasm. They don't just say they just assume like, I felt good, you felt good, let's get some dinner.

And they don't even know about that women need for a play they need to warm up, that most women don't actually have, not that we don't enjoy sex in her course without having orgasm, because a lot of women do, like I know women are like, I'm so pissed at him orgasm. I don't care if I don't, from time to time,

it's like, sex still feels great. However, it's important to be cognizant that female pleasure, if you're not sure that you're pleasing or you already came, you got to make sure, either take care of it beforehand. If you think you're too tired after you come, because you want to fall asleep, that happens for a lot of time. Or you're not interested at all anymore. Yeah, then just make sure. And, and honestly, if you're like, not your asker or mutual masturbation, sure, which,

you know, ask her to show you what she likes, there's all these things that you can do. Like especially when you're a virgin, ask her if she's ever had an orgasm. Like show that you know what you're talking about and say, show me what you do when you touch yourself. That's how you learn the roadmap, the blueprint for what, because every person touched themself differently. Every woman has different types of ways of touching themself.

Okay, and I love hearing from everybody. So email me feedback at sex.me.com. I just thought I'd be getting so many emails. I thought tonight is the night that we are going to take care of them. We got one more. This one is about electric sex. Dear Emily, I just recently discovered your podcast. I love your show.

It's very informative, but still has lots of funny bits. I would like to know more about electricity with sex. I've seen some videos on it, but would like to learn more. How safe is it? What kind of pleasure is associated with it? Keep up the good work, Dennis. So if you heard of this, electricity and sex, it's like electrostimulation.

It's called erotic electrostimulation. Yeah, exactly. What's it called? Erotic electrostimulation. It's popular in the BDSM communities, bondage, discipline, say, and mascasm. It's recognized in the 50s when people started using a device called the relaxesizer.

A device meant to stimulate the muscles on their genitals rather than the designated muscles. So when you're using, they have a lot, I actually have one of these toys. It sends them, of course. They send them, and I actually tried it because I had it for like two years and I was like, damn, it was one of those days

where I was like cleaning out my garage and like a mind as well, truck electric, truck sucks. Like do you plug it in or do you charge it? And then you get these little shocks in your vagina or in your penis and I didn't really think that it didn't feel, maybe it was just the brand, I don't know, I didn't feel much, but some people get really into it

because it's kind of, you know, it's kind of, I mean, but it's not dangerous if you're using a sex toy for it, but well, I'll tell you more about it. Luber, you have to use a lot of lubrication. You have to. When using a erotic electrosimulation, because it helps protect the skin from high frequency epidermal burning, water-based lubricant is recommended over silicone because a water-based

lubricant will reduce conductivity. I mean, I guess it can be a little dangerous, right? But this toy I had was like totally, it looked like a vibrator, you plug it in, you get these little shocks. You didn't have like the big mother. I didn't know I was like, Sean, you really felt like it was an ecstatic clinger, that's, you know,

what is it called, the static shock? The static shock. Yeah. So any kind of erotic electrosimulation that creates a current through the chest cavity is discouraged. It isn't sex good enough. What are we doing?

Dude, you know, there's some pretty great, do we have to like be shooting lightning bolts at ourselves while we're doing it? You know, everyone went, some people just went up the ante. People do crazy stuff and they're just like, where do I go next? Where do I go next? Where do I go next? We'll be such an embarrassing way to go. What? To die from the climate? Somebody comes in and you get the car battery up on the shelf and you're all burnt to a crisp with these electrodes.

So that'll be your- Oh, read the directions. Don't try this at all. Have a grave on cell or something? I know. It's not for everybody, but there are some people who want to try different things. So Adam and Eve.com offers an electro-orotic neon-1, generates the same surge of static electricity felt from the shock of a doorknob.

Comes with four interchangeable glass tips. So again, use coupon code Emily if you want to get that at Adam and Eve.com or whatever else you want to get there, you get 50% off the items. But here's the thing. The one I had exactly, that's what I'm saying. It felt like the shock on an adorned, it was like, it wasn't like an, you know, rather vibration, rather vibe, but then I'd rather have a electric shock on my vagina. But there's something you've ever wanted. I judge on this. You close your eyes and you fantasize you're banging the

terminator? Exactly. I mean, I don't know. I mean, there's so many different toys out there. And like, I think it's just for people who want to just try something different because they've tried everything else on the planet. So might as well do a left or shot. Next to sounding after that. Next to what? The sounding will come after. The sounding one. Sounding. That's the thing that really advanced sexual dudes do with the,

they put the metal bars inside the re-threat. Oh right. Oh yeah. Come on in. I'm sure you have a soundingset somewhere in your garage. I probably do. Would you like one Anderson? I'm good.

I can go scavenging through my thing and then figure it out for you through my garage. Okay. I think that's all we got for you today. Anything else Anderson that you'd like to add to the life here at Sex with Emily and anything you'd like to say? Oh, it's fun though. Yeah. you're good to go. Hey, I love doing this to you. It's kind of more chill and I get to talk to the people and one more thing I do have to say is that I've got this survey on my website. It will literally take you three seconds. I will not spam you. You just put in your

email address or you mail a female. That's it. Takes two seconds and go to Sex with Emily.com. Click on it. It'll totally help me because I want to know what you guys want i want to know what you want with the show who you are who's listening and it'll completely help my life i can do more shows if you go into the survey and it will take you three seconds i want to see that i did one of these with the uh... with the film ball with my co's ball brine from the corolla show uh... and we did one for the film ball like years ago a survey or electrosimulation no we did no electros stimulation, got her mind. Yeah.

But we did one for our show and it was a huge help and it helped us streamline the show. And we figured out what the listeners wanted. Right. And we actually used that information to better the show. Exactly. And if you help them out, she doesn't ask for much. Yeah, seriously, I really don't ask for much.

And also, if you want to tell me more, because it's really just basic like do you grab like, like, birdie live, whatever. But I also love hearing from you, like feedback at sex. TheME.com, because it's really just basic like do you grab like birdie live whatever but I also love hearing from you like feedback at sex family dot com because funny because one of my new interns is like she's actually been a fan of the show for a long time and I was actually thinking when I was thinking about the show tonight I was like wait a minute because I've never worked with someone she's like I'm like what do you like what don't you like and I'd love to hear from people who've

been listening either to one episode or a hundred episodes what do you like about the show what do you want to hear more of? Do you like the guests? Do you not? Is there any topics that you think I haven't covered? You can tell me what you hate, what you love. I can take it. I'm a sure enough woman. So just let me know.

Email me as always, feedback at sexwithmme.com. Thank you, Anderson. Everyone should check out your podcasts, both of them. Yeah, the film vote, the after zester. I'm very excited about, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go, I wanna come visit you at your new office. Oh my God, you have to come. Yeah. Next week I wanna come and then I'm gonna talk about everything that I what I'm gonna do? I wanna come visit you at your new office. Oh my God, you have to come.

Yeah. Next week I wanna come and then I'm gonna talk about everything that I saw. You promised you'll come? Yeah, after disaster. Oh, you're the best. Yeah, I definitely wanna come and see what this little complex is like.

And now I'll launch in your lead with a goodie bag of electrosimulation and flashlight straps. And then all the other people that work in the office building, I'm like, he just had sex with Emily. Exactly, it's awesome. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you.

Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Sex toys aren't just for women. Go to sexwithemily.com slash flesh light to discover the best sex toys for men. The flesh light. A lot of guys say it feels even better than sex and it helps build stamina, meaning a last longer in bed. Go to sexwithemily.com slash flesh to see my flashlight recommendations and get one tonight. Perhaps play a little game called just a tip. Just for a second, just a see how it feels.

Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the Art of Charm Podcast, the number one dating and relationship advice podcast in iTunes. I'm Emily Morris, host of the Sex with Emily Podcast, the number one sex and relationship podcast on iTunes and it's sexwithemily.com. And this is just the tip. All right, so you know, a lot of people think like, all right, you know, you've got these fantasies, keep them to yourself, don't be gross. But I think dirty vote, dirty vote.

I think dirty thoughts don't necessarily belong and evolve, right? I mean, there's some benefit to sharing those they're partners. Absolutely. I think it's a great way for couples to expand their sexual repertoire. Especially, you know, guys are getting kind of bored with what they're doing.

They can say, hey babe, let's just talk about, is there anything you fantasize about when you're alone? Is there anything that you would like to do with me? I think that having fans, cheering your fans to your partners is a really great way to take the relationship in a new direction. But a lot of times, women might feel uncomfortable. They're not going to want to say, tell you, come out and tell you their fantasies flat out. So you might want to say, just try to do me a scenario that kind of

turned you on. Or with the most memorable time we've ever had sex. Oh, nice. So you can basically turn it into a narrative instead of a... Exactly. Instead of like a hardcore question. Right. She doesn't have to be like, you know, I'm thinking of you and your brother together or something. Creepy. Alright, we'll leave it at that. If you guys want to learn more from the art of charm about dating, relationships, and or something. the best sexier life that is, also follow me on Twitter at sexwithemily.