Sex With Emily - Menopause Myths Your Doctor Still Believes
Episode Date: January 9, 2026EPISODE SUMMARY Dr. Emily visits the office of urogynecologist Dr. Patricia Wallace to explore the hidden world of pelvic health—and why it matters so much for sexual pleasure. From the muscles t...hat control your orgasms to the hormones that fuel desire, Dr. Wallace breaks down what's actually happening in your body and what you can do about it at every age. In this episode, you'll learn: • What your pelvic floor actually is and why 80% of women can't properly contract it • The connection between pelvic floor strength and orgasm intensity • How to do a kegel correctly using yogic breathing techniques • Why recurrent UTIs happen and the supplement hack that prevents them • The truth about hormone therapy and why that 20-year-old study shouldn't scare you • What "optimal" hormone levels mean versus just "normal" lab ranges • How testosterone affects women's sex drive—and when supplementation helps • The real timeline for postpartum sexual recovery (hint: it's not 6 weeks) • Why the Emsella chair delivers 12,000 pelvic floor contractions in one session • How core strength affects everything from incontinence to back pain to sexual confidence More Dr. Emily: • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply). • Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. This episode is sponsored by… Bellesa "EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast" Je Joue https://www.jejoue.com/products/hera-flex-rabbit-vibrator?utm_source=SWE-HeraFLEXPODCAST&utm_medium=SWE-HeraFLEXPODCAST Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:53 - What Is Your Pelvic Floor & Why Should You Care 4:41 - The UTI Hack Most Women Don't Know About 6:52 - First Steps When You Suspect Perimenopause 9:01 - The 80% Orgasm Problem (And How to Fix It) 10:20 - How to Do a Kegel Correctly (Live Tutorial) 14:04 - What the Emsella Chair Actually Does to Your Body 17:06 - How Hormone Replacement Changes Sexual Function 20:05 - Pregnant Sex & Postpartum Recovery Truth 24:00 - Protecting Your Pelvic Floor Before Problems Start 29:01 - Why Core Strength Makes You Sexy From the Inside Out
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The first thing I tell women is that you don't get through menopause, you go into menopause,
and you never leave.
Because that is the third stage of our life, where we enter into a hormone-deficient state.
So my philosophy is, why would you ever deprive yourself of these beautiful substances that
keep you youthful and help reduce your risk of chronic illness?
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
around sex. Okay, so when you hear the words pelvic floor, what comes to mind? A visit to the
OBGYN, maybe. The truth is, the pelvic floor is a hidden superstar of sexual pleasure
for vulva and penis owners. We all have a pelvic floor, but the problem is we don't always know how
to take care of it. Well, that changes today because you're about to hear from the pelvic floor
expert herself, Dr. Patricia Wallace. On this episode, I talked to Dr. Wallace about living your best life
in your best body, and how focusing on the pelvic floor helps unlock our feel-good potential.
We discussed the intricacies of orgasm, because guess what? When you strengthen your pelvic floor,
your muscles contractions get more intense and tiny muscles you did even know you had to start
amplifying your pleasure. We also heal pain and prolapse through pelvic floor rehab. Involve owners
will find a lot of relief hearing Dr. Welles discuss aging and hormones. Turns out you can nurture
your hormonal health well into menopause without scary side effects. Leave it to a doctor to put our
minds and our volvils and our penises at ease. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Okay, so let's talk about
one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or part of play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek,
powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal
stimulation and those rumbly, mind-blowing clitter vibes Jeju is known for. Here's what I
love. The external ears are powered by the same motor as the Mimi, which you've heard me rave about
before. I love the Mimi. And the internal arm delivers deep satisfying vibrations right to your G-spot.
It's super soft, ultra-quiet, and it moves with your body. So whether you're using it solo or with a
partner, it has this feel like it's made just for you. And honestly, it's kind of a no-brainer.
Everyone loves the Hera. And right now, you can get 20% off the Hera using code, Emily
20 at sex withemly.com slash hera. That's Emily 20 for 20% off at sex with Emily.com slash
H-E-R-A. So if you've been looking for a toy that delivers powerful, blended orgasm with
thoughtful design and serious quality, this is it. So go treat yourself, you deserve it.
Let's be real, okay? Sometimes intimacy starts to feel like another box to check. You're tired,
your stress, you're distracted, and the spark just feels a little out of reach. But what if it
feel irresistible again. That's why I can't stop talking about common confidentials massage butter.
The glide, the texture, the scent, it's foreplay in a jar. I'm serious. It's sensual, it's smooth,
and like nothing I've ever tried. It melts right into your skin. It's silky, but it's never sticky,
and makes you actually look forward to being touched. And here's the sciencey part I love. Your skin has
thousands of nerve endings that respond to intentional touch. And when you slow down and touch with
presence. Your body releases oxytocin. It's that bonding hormone that helps you relax, connect,
and feel pleasure on a deeper level. And that's exactly what this butter does. It helps you slow down,
tune in, and actually enjoy each other again. And it's 100% organic made with clean natural ingredients
and the scent alone just sets the mood. So whether it's foreplay, massage, or just a little moment of
connection after a long day, this is your reminder that pleasure starts with touch. And common
confidentials massage butter makes it effortless. Get 15% on.
off your order with my code, sex with Emily at checkout. That's sex with Emily for 15% off at
Common Confidential.com. That's common confidential.com. Dr. Patricia Wallace is dedicated to restoring
pelvic health and women's wellness with the goal of supporting women living their best life,
regardless of age or condition. Her focus on women's wellness includes comprehensive and
integrative treatment for pelvic disorders, pelvic flore dysfunction, sexual health, menopause, and
bioidentical hormone therapy, including biotech, pellet hormone replacement therapy.
You can find more about her at pelvichealthwellness.com, and our Instagram is pelvic health
wellness.
Dr. Wallace, I'm so excited to be here in your office today. Thank you for having me because this is
such a huge challenge for so many. I know you work with men as well, right, but it's mostly
women. But we all have pelvic floors. And we all sometimes have challenges with our pelvic
floors over time or especially I know for women, childbirth, hormone changes as we get older.
So talk to me about pelvic health and wellness. Why is it important? So thank you so much for being
here. I can't even tell you what an honor it is to meet you, by the way. This is my practice.
This is my dream. This is my baby. And I have so many amazing ideas of how to continue to develop
education, awareness, and inspire women to live their best lives in their best bodies.
So my field is called Eurogynecology or female pelvic medicine reconstructive surgery.
And that field as an entity, as a specialty, takes care of all pelvic floor disorder.
So what is a pelvic floor?
Yeah.
What is a pelvic floor disorder?
Right.
So we all have pelvic floors.
You said it already.
Yes, we do.
Yeah.
And the pelvic floor is an underachiever because none of us really know what it is.
So it is made up of the muscles that hold our trunk, our legs, our bones, everything together.
It's basically the foundation of your core.
And it's interesting, I didn't really understand this until maybe the last five years that our core is made up of our abdominal wall, our back muscles, our glutes, and our pelvic floor.
And men and women have the same exact pelvic floor.
We have all the same muscles.
And these muscles help us with our truncle stability.
They help us stay continent.
They help us have good sex.
And so it's unfortunate that not many people are aware of their pelvic floors.
Right, exactly, until there's a problem with it.
Until there's a problem.
And so that leads you to pelvic floor disorders.
Okay, so let's talk about that.
So someone comes to your office.
What's going to bring them here?
So I see women age 16 to 100.
My oldest patient is 100, and she's a spitfire.
She's so amazing.
She's amazing.
But what usually gets women into my practice,
And actually, on average, women see five different doctors and maybe wait six years before they come to a practice like mine.
Amazing.
The first thing that brings women to the practice is recurrent bladder infections because women have sex and we get bladder infections all the time.
All the time.
And so I have little tips and tricks that I told women all the time about how to do that.
Okay, can we just?
Like massive biohacks.
I kind of want to go there right now.
We can go there.
Okay, just really, are they quick hacks?
Quick, quick, quick.
Because I get that question all the time.
All the time.
Why do I keep getting a UTI? Why? Why do I keep getting, why do we do that?
Well, it's mechanical. It just pushes stuff around and things get shoved in our urethra and our bladder is receptive
to bacteria. And so all the basic tips that we know about or some women actually don't know.
You know, you have to void after intercourse.
Yeah, pee after sex. Or really, any sort of play, you have to get the urine out.
Right. And then certainly maybe rinsing the area. These are little tips and tricks.
But my biohack is taking a supplement called de Manos. Have you heard of that?
No.
So D-Manos is a sugar that travels through the body undigested, lands in the bladder, makes the walls slippery, and the bugs stick to the sugar, and then they wash away.
Oh, so that helps from women who are getting repeated bladder infections.
And so I put women on that all the time.
Got it. So those are the 16, maybe the younger women coming to see you.
Yeah, actually.
So women young, sexual as a trigger, but then you hit menopause.
Hermones go down.
Estrogen reduces in the vaginal area if they're not taking supplements.
and then we have that secondary peak in life of recurrent UTIs in menopause.
And I see so many women who then avoid intimacy in all shapes and sizes
because they're worried about bladder infections because they're so painful.
Wow.
I have heard that they're getting UTIs again.
And again, this is because of the loss of hormones, estrogen.
Which puts their ureth at risk.
Exactly.
Okay.
So, I mean, doesn't it ever amaze you that there's women that more than half the population
is going to go through menopause?
And something about paramedopause to menopause, it could be like a 10-year transition.
And yet, we know nothing.
We do.
It's still shrouded in mystery.
It's still you call the transition or the changeover.
But this is why I'm doing this show because I get so many questions about this all the time.
What do I do?
I'm going through paramedopause.
Is it paramedopause?
My partner's going through it.
She doesn't want to have sex.
There's pain all the things.
And so I feel like you get that every single day.
Every day.
What would you say?
Like, a woman comes in.
Like, let's talk about that.
A woman who's like, I think it's parimenopause.
what's your first step?
So the first thing I tell women is that you don't get through menopause, you go into
menopause and you never leave.
Because that is the third stage of our life, where we enter into a hormone-deficient
state.
So my philosophy is, why would you ever deprive yourself of these beautiful substances that
keep you youthful and help reduce your risk of chronic illness?
So the whole concept of transitioning into menopause, menopause just means one year, no bleeding.
And then you're postmenopause, but I use them interchangeably.
And the 10 years leading up to it is the peri menopause where we start to have mood changes
and our cycles go crazy.
And our sex drive drops precipitously in like our 30s because testosterone is just going down,
down, down.
And so once we hit that wall, everything gets low.
And my really goal is to educate women before that so they know and prepare for this stage
of life and help them have better vitality and longevity.
And it is about hormones, which is unfortunate because it has a bad rap from 20 years ago when
there was the study that sort of scared everybody off of hormones, and that study is really
not very applicable these days.
I talk about the study that said that you shouldn't take hormones because it's going to cause
breast cancer.
Correct.
Okay.
The women's health initiative.
Women's health initiative that said that.
So, yeah, there's a lot of women's like, well, I can't take hormones.
Because I hear from women of all ages who are having hormone challenges.
It could be from the birth control pill.
Right.
It could be from other medications.
there's just so many things that we just didn't understand about hormones, and we're starting to
understand now. So you start with them testing the hormones first? I do. So we have a comprehensive
questionnaire, and I'm always asking women about their life goals, their body goals, their wellness
goals. So most women want to lose weight. Everybody's afraid of cancer, but what people don't know is
that we die more of heart disease. So I'm like, we just need to make a plan for your wellness for the
rest of your life. And then we talk about their sexual wellness. So how we're, how we're
is your orgasm? And I ask all the time, how's your orgasm? Is it clitoral? Is it vaginal? Because I'm
learning so much even at this stage of my life of how to access those things. What did I say? 80% of
women can't have a vaginal orgasm. That is tried and true even in my practice, like the answer.
But here's an interesting fact. 80% of women can't do a pelvic floor contraction. And so I think
they're related. And that's why I think chair works for that. Oh, they can't do the,
they can't do the kegles squeeze. They can't. And I think it's related to your ability to tap into the
vaginal orgasm.
I know that the guest you had said it was technically like the G-spot, lower clitoral orgasm,
but I still think there's a higher up vaginal orgasm.
Okay, wait, talk about this.
Let's talk about the machine then.
Yeah.
So this is like basically an orgasmic machine.
Well, I mean, everybody wants to call it an orgasm chair.
What I would say is that my experience with women, and I check women every single day,
is that one, we don't have body awareness on how to identify muscles in our abdomen,
in our pelvic floor.
They can't do a kegel or pelvic contraction.
And so I send women to pelvic floor physical therapy to learn technique and breath because we don't do the right breath, right?
And it's funny when I go around for BTL, the first thing I do at the beginning of my lecture is I teach the entire audience how to do proper yogi breathing with a pelvic floor contraction.
We're going to take a quick break, but when we come back, Dr. Wallace is going to walk us all through how everyone, yes, even you listening, can do a cagle.
Can we do that?
Let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, this is important.
It's so fun.
So I've learned this from the physical therapist.
So the first thing you want to do is make your feet flat on the floor.
Okay.
And then kind of scoot your triangle, your perineum, a little bit more forward on the chair.
So you can kind of feel it.
So you can rock back and forth on your sit-offs and hands are on your knees.
And then let's just do a couple of breaths before we work on the pelvic floor.
So in yoga, we breathe in and we puff our belly up.
Okay.
And as we exhale, pull your belly button in and you're doing it perfectly.
Let's do it again.
And then exhale.
Now I want you to think a little bit about your perineum.
And when you exhale this time, notice if it lifts.
Paranium, let's just explain it for the list first.
So parame is the space, the triangle that's between your sit bones.
So imagine like the front of your pubic bone back to your tailbone.
And you just want to sit forward a little bit.
And one of the tricks, the physical therapist says they roll up a towel and you sit on it so you can feel it.
But you can feel it pretty good if you just kind of sit forward.
And all genders can be doing this right now.
Men and women have the same pelvic floors.
And so the men in the audience have to do it too.
I hear them breathing and doing it.
Yeah, they're like, we have cattle.
We can do it.
So we're going to inhale and puff up our bellies.
And as you exhale, you feel your pelvic floor, lift up a little bit off the chair.
It's like a little natural elevator.
And do it again.
Yes.
And then exhale.
And you can really pull it up if you practice.
But it's so opposite.
When you're breathing out, you're lifting it up.
It's the opposite of what you think.
It is.
Well, that's why it's so tricky.
It takes a beat.
So that's kind of how you can locate it.
And a lot of times we do it.
We do it.
We're just like pulling in and squeezing our butt cheeks.
Okay.
So you have found that women that aren't able to do that, because I always say it's your pee stopping muscles.
Right, which we don't want people to do it while they pee because it's not good for your bladder.
But you can do it just to check it.
Right, just a check.
I always say it's the pee, because just so you guys know what we're talking about in the vicinity, it's your pee stopping muscles.
Like, let's say someone's knocking on the bathroom door and you're peeing and you're like, oh, I got to stop.
It's those muscles.
That's your, but it still can be hard to identify and to make sure you're doing it right.
Right.
So now you have this emcella chair.
This chair blew my mind that you could stand a chair fully clothed and it does your cagles correctly.
It does.
Well, it does them for you.
For you.
And, you know, my discussion with women is, first of all, we can't do enough to ever get strong.
And who wants to stick a vaginal weight in there and walk around and try to do bodybuilding
when we're just trying to even get shapely in our arms and the rest of our body?
So I'm just like, I have no time for that.
I did it once.
I wore it around to a meeting and that fell out.
It's embarrassing.
Exactly.
That's a problem.
It rolls out your pants and onto the floor.
It's embarrassing.
So the chair, the M-Cellah chair, M meaning electromagnetic, cella meaning chair in Greek, delivers
supermaximal pelvic floor contractions, and it actually gets the entire pelvic floor.
Okay.
So even when we're doing or practicing those, we can't recruit all of those muscles,
and it's made up of a bowl of muscles of very fancy names, right, of the pelvic floor muscles.
And so it actually does about 12,000.
thousand of those in a 28-minute session.
Okay.
And first I was like, well, I don't know if that's a good thing.
Right.
Like, do you ever, can you do 12,000 in a lifetime?
No, right, right.
And so that's what I, to women, like, even one session, you do more than you would ever do.
Okay.
But what happens is, just like any muscle that you fatigue, you get bodybuilding of your pelvic floor.
And so after you've done the base of six sessions, which is what they figured out, gives you
that predictable result.
Okay.
And there's MRI data to show that the muscles are thicker and lifted.
So they've actually done scientific studies, which I think is amazing.
That's just the anatomic changes.
Okay.
So what are the other changes?
They looked at quality of life questionnaires that reduces incontinence.
Which is sneezing and peeing.
Sneezing and peeing or you've got to go to the bathroom and I'm leaking before I get there.
But the last studies that they've done in the male studies are about to be published too is that women have an improvement in all.
five domains across the female sexual function index.
So lubrication, arousal, desire even,
satisfaction and orgasm, just from the six sessions on the chair.
You're serious?
Yeah.
That's incredible.
So you're saying the women that were previously not even able to do this cudgel squeeze
correctly after six sessions.
They had satisfaction, if you were.
It's more satisfaction than before.
So whether they can actually physically recruit their own muscles and have that mind-body
awareness has not been actually looked at because that's hard to impact.
You know, I can give women hormones, send them to physical therapy, give them vibrators,
and they're not going to get all five domains increased on that.
And then for men, what are men saying?
Well, so they're studying that.
So I don't actually know the results.
But they're looking at orgasm and men.
I'm hoping there's going to be some data on erectile dysfunction.
But I think that all men who have post-prostectomy, 95% of men, have urinary incontinence.
So men need to get in here and sit on this right away.
Because no man wants to go into a physical therapy office and start doing kegol.
No, you can't even tell me.
First you had to explain to him that he can do cagulls and it's all the thing.
We've already lost some at that point.
That's a lady thing.
Okay, exactly.
So more, so let's go back to, we were talking about, when we were talking about orgasms,
when we're coming in, you're helping them with that, and you're helping them with hormones.
So you test the hormones.
I just, I mean, literally I get this every day.
What do I do?
Is it perimenopause?
I always say get your hormones text first.
Right.
And then you get your hormones checked and then you look for, like, couldn't most women at a certain
point or men need some hormones?
True.
And so hormones encompasses a lot of things.
We always think of hormones as estrogen or testosterone.
But thyroid optimization is so important. So I've done a lot of studying about how to functionally improve that. And then our adrenal glands, because that helps with our metabolism and our energy. Okay. And so I look at all of those. And there's lots of different ways to test hormones. I happen to be someone who looks at blood levels versus saliva levels. And there's so many different. And there's lots of different ways. And if your doctor is an expert in that area, then you go with that. Okay. But I will say, unfortunately, that conventional doctors, conventional providers,
are not going to treat someone whose lab values fall within the parentheses of the lab.
And when you look at functional medicine, you have to look at the optimal range of hormones.
And so my goal is to continue to help people be in the optimal range.
And depending on their age, women after 30 can take testosterone because all of us are low.
And the challenge is that we don't have an FDA-approved form of testosterone for women.
So all of us who take care of women are treating off-label.
but it's fully accepted.
And the ranges that we get women in are outside the lab parentheses,
which some people would look and go,
oh my gosh, your testosterone is too high.
Well, we're not giving them sex change levels.
We're giving them levels to feel awesome and build muscle
and have a really good sex drive.
Okay, so you're finding that once you replace the hormones
and a lot of their, and it's also, it's estrogen, testosterone, progesterone.
Depending on the age.
Depending on their age and what they need, that you feel,
how does their sexual functioning change?
Like, what is the differences that you see?
So it's interesting because I will say that women lay a little bit older, like 40s to 60s, they see a bigger bump when you give them testosterone than someone who's younger.
Okay.
Right.
Because it's not all about testosterone and desire.
I mean, there's so many things that you know, right?
Right.
A lot goes into it.
I mean, it's life and it's body image and it's, do I like my partner?
Do I like myself?
Right.
So it's not that everyone needs hormones, but is there any, like, basic advice you have?
just like how you said you had your hacks for like UTIs.
Like what are the first steps for women who are thinking that it's perimenopause, let's say?
So definitely don't stop asking questions if your provider like shuts you down.
Like keep going because if you don't feel right, if you don't feel good, I can't tell you how many women come to me and like, my doctor says my labs are normal.
I'm like, well, they may be normal, but maybe we can optimize you with supplements.
Supplements are important too.
Right? Maybe we can look at blood flow. Let's do some.
enhancers sexually if we need to do that, just even for sensation. What's an enhancer sexually? Well,
there's like so many different things that we can do, right? I mean, there's like, that's another
hack, right? So there's this, there's this spray that you can do under your tongue, not down there,
that has L. Arginine and Norvaline in it. I've heard about this. Which feeds into the nitric oxide
pathway. And there have been studies that Viagra doesn't really work in women. Right. But this kind of
feeds that blood flow arousal kind of component. Right away. Is it immediate? Well, so it's supposed to be a
daily supplement just like anything else. But I tell women you can probably take it like a couple
hours before if you know you're going to be intimate because I feel like there's a little surge.
A surge, okay. So there's like little hacks like that. I think we need this. And I think we have to
normalize the fact that every woman's going to go through some change in their sex drive and their desire
and their bodies. So I hear what I hear a lot, which is sad and it makes me sad for women is that,
you know, I feel bad for my husband because I just don't really want to have sex anymore. I'm like,
Don't you feel bad for you? Because having a good orgasm and good sex is like amazing. And let's figure out how we can
tap into that. Yeah. It's like we have orgasm amnesia. When we don't have it, we forget that we liked it. We're like,
no, you like sex. Remember? Don't you want that too? It sounds like that's what you're saying to them.
It's true, but you know, you get to talk to so many different people. And in sort of the regular population,
a lot of people haven't really ever even had the amazing orgasm. And some women are relying on their
partners to give them orgasm. And I'm like,
You need to watch sex with Emily because you're responsible for your own pleasure.
You're responsible for your own orgasm.
And then you can share with your partner what you need, orgasmically.
And I'm trying to educate women younger now.
So I'm seeing like sort of the postpartum population.
And I teach a...
Let's talk about that postpartum.
Right.
That's a whole other thing.
And we teach a class here.
And we teach to couples who are pregnant.
And I'm like, this is what's going to happen to your pelvic floor, but this is what we can do
afterwards.
And by the way, it's two and now it's three.
How do you get back to you and you as a couple?
And so we normalize what it's like to be sexually active during pregnancy, what it's going to be like in that fifth trimester, fourth trimester after transitioning back to a normal intimate life.
And what happens with your hormones are really low, you have no sex drive, everything hurts, you might have a scar now.
And how do you get back to that?
Well, this is what we have to normalize this as well, because most of when we have postpartum depression and we just don't like, oh, I had, people have to come out and admit it.
I would think that every woman would have something, like after, because your hormones are going to
change. So wouldn't you have some kind of depression or mood change afterwards?
It's common to have some sort of transition. But I will say that it's natural that the hormones
are down and we're breastfeeding and that serves a purpose to nourish the baby and not get
pregnant again. Honestly, I know we're getting so many questions too from people saying,
pregnant sex, can you talk about it? What happens? So if a couple comes in, what do you tell
someone's going to happen. Let's say during, what kind of sex should they look for during
pregnancy? I mean, if you have no risk factors, you can have any kind of sex you want during
pregnancy. And there's so much blood flow down there that you might have like the best sex of
your lives. You know, again, normalizing that. Positions are obviously like side lays a really
good one because the belly gets in the way and it's not comfortable to be on your back.
Exactly. When you have this big belly eventually. And then postpartum, depending on childbirth,
you know, you just have to wait until things are somewhat healed because everybody has, it is still
somewhat traumatic. It is traumatic. Well, that's the other thing. I think that doctors, a lot of them
tell women, you're going to be great in six weeks, and they're not, and then they start feeling depressed.
Yeah. How many women are really ready at six weeks? It's not really realistic. No, it's not.
It really isn't. I would say like three months is probably realistic. So exactly. After the break,
Dr. Wallace and I set the story straight at how childbirth really affects the mother's body.
So what would you say to women who say, like, I have some friends who are like, I don't know if I want a baby,
because I'm afraid of what's going to happen to my body. Yeah. I mean,
You know, I'm a Eurogynaecologist, and I had three vaginal births.
Okay.
The data says that that causes incontinence, prolapse, et cetera, et cetera.
But it's interesting.
I'll see women who've had six babies and nothing is falling down and everything is perfect.
Okay.
And some women will have two babies and things are relaxed.
Okay.
So you have to control the birth and not have a huge baby.
And the bottom line is hopefully now.
What do we not have a huge baby?
How do you control that?
Well, OBGYNs will keep track of the size of the babies.
So you have a C-section or something.
Right, which is not as readily.
And we don't want to do prophylactic C-sections because that's a big surgery.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
And you know, you're making scars and you have risk factors associated with that.
So I would say that it's a miracle of life.
It's a natural thing.
But guess what?
You don't have to wait to your 55 to address and prevent some of the issues that I take care of
later in life.
So what happens?
So what could people do right now to take care of that after they are having prolapse?
Would you put them on the chair?
You'd have some of the other, like, I know you've the quarter floor program.
So I would even say before that, pressures on the pelvic floor, marathon runners, crossfitters,
used to be a marathon runner.
Volleyball players.
Okay.
Right?
So everybody's pounding is putting pressure on their pelvic floor.
Educating women who are younger, even in their 20s.
Like you need to strengthen your pelvic floor.
Like the millennials, they just need to know what they need to do.
I'm like, you need to have a strong abs.
Why do I need to have a strong pelvic floor?
So you don't pee your pants later on in life.
Just sit on the chair, you know, that sort of thing.
Yeah.
Be aware of your muscles.
And in our 30s, when women maybe have babies, maybe not, or are starting to have different changes in their bodies.
So I think it's important to know that you have to have strength in your core.
And you don't have to wait till you're leaking or till you're having orgasmic dysfunction or lack of sensation with sex or you have a lower back issue.
And, oh, by the way, I need to strengthen my core for that too.
Because a lower back can be related to weak everything.
Weak belly, weak pelvic floor.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay. A lot of women are going to go to their gynecologists. Right. And their gynecologists might say, take a
nightidepressant or here's some synthetic hormones, but they don't have as much of the range. And a lot of women have to go pay out of pocket. Right. Right. Because a lot of it isn't covered by insurance. Right. But that's, I'm just trying to. And then I think it's
2021 and there are more resources now and more women are talking about it. But I'm just thinking like, keep. So keep asking questions. You might have to go to four or five or six doctors. Exactly. And here's the challenge. I think that a lot of women understand.
that insurance pays for illness, but it doesn't pay for wellness. And so I think that now that
we're getting information out there, and women realize, like, my body doesn't feel normal, I don't
feel normal, they're going to keep seeking answers until they get the right answers. And so being
your own advocate is so important. And if your provider, your OBGYN, your family medicine, doctor is
not running hormones, but you need full blood panels, running, you know, getting your hormones
checked, your testosterone, your estrogen, your progesterone, your DHA, which is your adrenal
gland, and your thyroid. So many people are suboptimal on their thyroid, and that alone can
help with your body composition, your energy. And you may not need any hormone supplementation
rather than replacement. Because what I tell all of my patients is that we just outlive our
endocrine glands. We're living 30 more years than we used to 200 years ago. And we just haven't
caught up. So whether it's the testes for testosterone, or the
ovaries for testosterone and estrogen or the thyroid or the adrenal glands, we're going to need
some sort of supplementation if you want to feel like a normal person.
Okay.
And it's safe.
And it's safe.
Yeah.
This is just the information we have to get out here.
We absolutely have to get out there.
So what about, is there anything else with medications or anything that you find that people
are coming in for that might be affecting their ability to have sexual pleasure or to have orgasm?
Right.
And you've probably talked about this too, but it's true.
So many women just today I saw a patient and she's like, she cannot take estrogen.
because she has a blood clotting disorder.
Okay.
Even though if you go through the skin, it's safer, but, you know, you just kind of have to be
mindful of certain considerations.
And so she was put on an antidepressant, an SSRI, which we know notoriously not only reduces
sex drive, but blunt orgasm.
And so does the birth control pill in certain ages of women.
And so medications are a big one, hypertensive medication, even migraine medication.
And so you're kind of working around those medications in trying to restore someone's sexual health.
Okay.
Some of the practice, we talked about the chair.
But what about the quarter floor?
Cord of floor.
Can you just tell me real quick about that?
So I'm a big advocate of being strong.
Like I think strong is beautiful.
I like to lift weights.
I've lived weights since I was 15.
But, you know, when I was a cheerleader in high school and they decided that the football coach was going to take all the cheerleaders into the football weight room,
and we all started lifting weights with the football players.
So we could be strong.
And so I have never put down my weights.
And so my biggest thing for my patients who are concerned about their body composition is you have to have muscle on your body.
You don't have to be a bodybuilder and your body is going to shape the way it's going to shape.
I had to embrace my thighs at some point in my life and my butt.
And everybody's like, what are you doing to your arms?
And I'm like, that's the one part I've never am sculpted.
But the bottom line is that when you have a strong core, it's more than just looking good in your clothes or your bathing.
suit, it's important for your back. It helps with balance as we age. It helps with our
continents. So core to floor to me is strengthening your abdominal wall, strengthening your back,
strengthening your glutes, and strengthening your pelvic floor. And I am so blessed to be able
to have three of the devices that BTL offers that are cordifloor devices. So the M-Sull gets the pelvic floor,
but it also recruits the lower abs a little bit and the glutes, right? And you've sat on it before.
I sat on the chair several times.
Isn't it an interesting?
I might want to stay in the chair.
I know.
I sit on it once a week and I chart sometimes on the internet.
It's hilarious.
I've got like two computers.
I love it.
But, you know, the magnetic energy delivered to wherever you deliver that energy
typically is going to build muscle.
And if you activate the radio frequency, which is the heat, it's going to reduce fat
and tighten the skin.
And I think when I first was looking at, for example, M-Sculpt, the original one,
there wasn't the radio frequency.
like, you need to burn fat before I'm going to get that device because I can build all the muscle
I can in someone, but they're not going to see it.
Right.
And so I think that now that we have consistent scientific studies that show both effects.
That's incredible.
So I think it's just been an amazing for me way to present to patients why it's important
to be strong cordifloor for pelvic and sexual health.
I mean, there's a lot of aesthetic benefits.
Great.
Yes.
six-pack. But you know what? If you're strong, you are sexy from the inside out. And I love that.
I feel confident. Yeah, exactly. I love that it's inside out. It is true because when you have that
stronger core, you just walk straight or your feel more comfortable in your body, your posture,
everything. It does make a difference. It helps. I did it to help with my back pain, which I had for a long
time. It's kind of miraculous. And I teach hot yoga at a studio locally. And I have some yogis that
have come in and they're like, they always sit out the ab portion of class. And then they came in
and do the M-cellet and the M-sculpt and they're like, well, now I know where my abs are. So they're
going to do their abs. So it's almost like a forward motivator as well, even if you're not someone
who's into exercise. Okay. Because you start to feel and notice parts of your body that you
probably never were aware of before. Okay. And you can see that. And you don't have to be an avid
exercise. You can be someone who really has limited mobility, but just needs to build a little bit
of strength. So it's just fascinating. I think the sky's the limit for the application of
cordifloor strengthening. Okay. It's really important. I mean, I wish I knew all of this. So I love
that you have this advice of people of all ages right now. Like if you're running marathons or you're
lifting weights too heavily in your 20s, I guess when you're young, you think, oh, well, this will
never happen to me or you just think about it. And then it hits us. It hits us. That's it. That's great.
Well, this is so helpful. Thank you so much. I so appreciate you. Dr. Wallace, I have to ask you the five questions that we ask all of our guests.
Oh, my gosh.
Ready? They're super quick. I know. They're quicky questions as we call them.
Let's hope I know these.
You will. Quickly. Okay. What's your biggest turn on?
Hmm. Probably when someone goes out of their way to do something for me because I'm an acts of service person.
Oh, okay. What's your biggest turn off?
Can it be physical?
Anything.
Like dirty fingernails? Yes, yes, totally. That's totally legit.
What makes good sex?
I think communication, yeah, between partners, for sure.
Something you would tell your younger self about sex and relationships.
Oh, wow. Probably that you are technically responsible for your own pleasure
and that you would want to, that I would want to educate myself as much as possible now, right?
Right.
Right. Number one sex tip. Oh, I am such, oh, one of my other biohacks is Oshott, CBD arousal oil. I love it.
Oh, okay. Did you know. I love it. So I would say use that externally.
CBD arousal oil. Yeah. O shot. Okay. Got it. All right. My favorite.
Oh, my God. Good. Thank you so much. Thank you so helpful. I appreciate you so much.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show,
please like, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you get your podcast. And hey, share this with a friend
or a partner. It might just spark something. It usually does. You can find me on Instagram,
TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give
really good email. So sign up at Sex Withemly.com for free guides and articles and more ways to
prioritize your pleasure.
