Sex With Emily - Missionary Isn’t Boring, You’re Just Doing It Wrong

Episode Date: April 21, 2026

I know what you're thinking. Missionary? Really? But hear me out,  because I genuinely believe missionary might be the most underrated position in existence, and the reason most people are bored by it has nothing to do with the position itself. It has everything to do with what they're not doing in it. In this episode, I'm breaking down every missionary myth, sharing the techniques that actually work for clitoral stimulation during penetration, and answering your listener's questions on everything from G-spot orgasms to asking your partner to bend you over the kitchen table. In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why the porn version of penetrative sex works for only about 30% of vulva owners and what the rest of us actually need to get there, including the CAT technique that makes missionary the best position for clitoral stimulation  • How to tell your partner you want them to dominate you, talk dirty, and bring more intensity to sex without making them feel like they've been doing it wrong this whole time  • Why incorporating a vibrator into partnered sex is one of the best things you can do for your sex life, and how to ask for it even if you're a people pleaser who's spent years putting everyone else's comfort before your own pleasure This Episode is sponsored by... Check out Magic Wand at shop.sexwithemily.com/magicwand More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply).5 • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Chapters: 0:00 - Intro 1:03 - What's Actually Great About Missionary (That Most People Miss) 5:26 - Dispelling the Myth That Missionary Is Boring 8:21 - The CAT Technique: Best Missionary Position for Clitoral Stimulation 9:29 - Listener Question: Mental Block Around Trying New Positions 13:15 - Dispelling the Myth That Missionary Can't Be Kinky 13:28 - Listener Question: How to Ask Your Partner to Be More Dominant 18:27 - Dispelling the Myth That Vulva Owners Can't Orgasm in Missionary 19:02 - Listener Question: Clitoral vs. Penetrative Orgasms & the G-Spot Explained 23:32 - Listener Question: How to Use a Vibrator During Missionary Without the Bulk 26:06 - A Note to People Pleasers: Your Pleasure Matters Too Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know, we just tell our partners, oh, throw me against the wall, throw me against the bad. They want to please you. I would think it sounds like you guys are in a good relationship and it's getting, you know, a lot more serious. But understanding when and how to do something like that is something that we got to learn. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. In today's best of episode, we're talking about probably the most classic sex position, and that is missionary. Now, some of you might think it's basic or even boring, but I'm here to tell you that missionary can be incredibly hot, intimate, passionate, and even kinky. In addition to

dispelling missionary myths, I'm also going to be answering your listener questions. Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Okay, so if you've been listening to this show for a while, you know I'm not about random sex toys or gimmicks. I'm about tools that actually support your pleasure, your communication, and your connection. That's exactly why we created the shop, Sex with Emily's store. Everything in there is curated by me and my team,

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All right. So tell me what comes to mind when you think about. the missionary sex position. Now wait, what do you think about it? Maybe you think about, yeah, that's the go-to position. That's what we do all the time. Or maybe you think, yeah, it's kind of boring. Or maybe you picture that it's so intimate and it creates a really close connection with you and your partner.

Maybe you think about your first time and it wasn't that great because, survey says, a lot of adults have moved on completely from missionary by Dr. Evan Goldstein. a guest on the show, and he said only 21% of gay and lesbian respondents, and just under 27% of straight respondents said missionary is the position that turns them on the most, which means that for more than 73% of us, not such a turn on. For straight respondents, by the way, doggy style was the clear winner. Maybe it's because doggy style is primal and animalistic, but you know what? I'm going to tell you this. You can bring that energy to missionary too. That's what this shows about. So first, let's define missionary. Well, in this position,

the penetrating partner is on top and the receiving partner is on their back and they're facing each other. That's basically what it is. So today, my goal is to get you to try to think differently about missionary, starting with what's so great about it. Okay, so first, here's what I think is great. You get to make eye contact with your partner. There's skin to skin contact. I think it's sexy. You can take it really slow, let the energy build, you can start making out. And I just think it's a really connected position. So when you're thinking about, you know, I want to feel closer. I want more passionate sex or romantic.

I think that missionary has all of that. Also, what I love about missionary, it's a great position to add toys because there's so many places you can stimulate from this position. And there's different kinds of toys. It could be a vibrator. It could be a penis ring, a butt plug. don't forget about your anus just because you're a missionary. And Volvo owners can experience double penetration.

That's something that can happen. Now here's the other thing. Clitoral stimulation. Use your hands. You can reach around and use your hands on your clitoris. Your partner can do that. You can reach around and grab your partner's ass. Try some rougher, like, touching.

You could even do some consensual domination, bondage. You can tie someone's arms back. You can use a spreader bar and you can spread their legs if they're on the bottom. I think a blindfold is great for most sexual scenarios because it heightens all your senses. So you're really feeling that connection even more. The other thing about missionary they like is that there's just more than one way to do it. You're not just lying there looking at each other with your legs straight against each other. There's ways you can vary it.

The bottom partner's legs can be pressed together instead of open. That has a few benefits. When you're pressing your legs together, you can stimulate your pelvic floor muscles. your kegill exercises. Remember, those are the muscles that are responsible for orgasm, and you can also squeeze against your partner's penis, which feels good for everybody. You could also try the coital alignment technique or the cat position, which I will talk about a little bit, but that has excellent clitoral stimulation. Oh, another option, one partner standing up at the edge of the bed and the receiving partners lying on their back,

with their pelvis lined up at the same height. This is awesome for deep penetration. or both of you are lying down, a Volvo owner can bend their legs back, even to their ears. You know, if they're bendy, you do lots of yoga, which can create exactly the right ankle to hit the G spot. One leg up, both legs up. I mean, there's so much to try. And also, that's actually great for smaller penis owners. I get a lot of questions from you guys about penis size and the best positions.

When the Volvo owners laying back with one or both legs over the penetrating partner's shoulders, this way you can maximize penetration. You can lean into their legs or use their ankle. for support or leverage. And for larger penis owners, keeping the vulva owner's legs down, lets them use their thighs to control the thrusting. So you could also start by positioning your pelvis a couple inches lower than hers to avoid going too deep. So I'm going to get into more of this shortly, but I'm a fan of a lot of the positions. You know what? I think that we can make any position really hot. I love missionary, but I understand there's a lot of misconceptions.

You know, that it's boring or just the default sex position or that it's static, you can't change it up. There's nothing kinky about it at all. There's also the misconception. It's harder for Volvo owners to orgasm. And if you've had this problem, I get it. You might be reluctant to give it another chance and it just might be your least favorite. But I've got some ideas that you probably haven't tried yet.

So I'm going to dispel your missionary misconceptions and see if we can look at it differently. Let's start with the first one. The first misconception. is that missionary is boring. And yes, for some couples, missionary can feel like it's just the default. So why do we make it more intentional instead? Because the stereotype that missionary is a passive position for a Volvo owner, just because you're on the bottom doesn't mean you can't take responsibility

for bringing the erotic energy. In fact, I say everyone should be bringing the erotic energy all the time. And listen, I don't think you should blame it on the position because you can take anything and make it exciting. Any sex act, I think. It's about being present. So Volvo owners, I want you to prioritize your pleasure. I would say communication is a lubrication.

Tell your partner what you want. In missionary, they've access to so many erogenous zones. All of them, your ears, your neck, your armpits and scalp are also erogenous zones too. It's how we figure out where all of our erogenous zones are. And of course, your mouth doesn't like an old school makeout session to make it hot. Love making out during missionary. And here's a tip for penis owners or partners on top. While you're up there, don't forget, the biggest sex organ of all is the brain.

So tell your partner how much they turn you on. This is such a fun position to like talk dirty, whisper in each other's ears. And okay, do my Volvo owners, be collaborative. Now, try moving your hips. in a slow circle. Move and sink is your partner's thrusting so they can go deeper. You can use your hands or your partner's hands to stimulate your clitoris. You can use a toy.

Use a pillow under your pelvis to change up the angle. What I'm saying is this is all about exploring and trying something new. If you've always just sort of lied there, a missionary, and thought, all right, this is my time just to lie back. Just think, well, what would it feel like if I put a pillow underneath me? or wrap my legs around my partner's neck, or I put, you know, one leg back and left one leg straight, or I just sort of grab my partner in different ways, or I stimulated myself. You know, these are all the things that, like, I'm not saying if you do them all at once, but just get curious.

What else might feel good in this position? Let me tell you about the cat technique. So this position is probably the best missionary position for clitoral stimulation. So how you do it is the vulva owner is lying on their back. And when the penis owner enters, what they do is they scoot up a few inches higher than usual, right? So they're kind of a little bit over your head. And the vulva owner's body should be flat up against theirs. So which I want you to think of is think pelvis to pelvis rather than in and out.

and the motion isn't up and down rather than a side to side. So there's like a steady rocking up and down with a focus on where the clitoris hits the base of the penis. Get it? So I want to take this slow because it's all about stimulating the clitoris, the pubic mound, which is also indirect stimulation to your G-spot. All these nerve endings are related. And so if you're going in and out, which is kind of our default for many of us,

us, that's just not going to do the trick. So check out the coital alignment technique. If you go to our website, we'll also put this in the show notes. We have a link to the coital alignment technique sex position. Let's get into your question here. This is from Anna in North Carolina. And the cat might work for her. Dear Dr. Emily, I'm a fairly sexual person, but my sex drive is lower than my boyfriends. I like experimenting and trying new positions. But since we started dating, we've into a pretty standard sexual routine. Me on top to missionary with me using my fingers on my clitoris. I'm aware that this routine you've settled into is largely because I don't initiate doing anything different. I love how connected we are a missionary because we can kiss and see each other's faces.

It could also be hard for me to get off, especially if I'm not the one stimulating myself. And this position is where I could do that best. Plus, I've had partners in the past who've been very experimental with positions. And those experiences most often didn't result in a lot. orgasm on my end. I think that all these factors caused me to choose a tried and true missionary position every time over any others. My boyfriend has requested trying other positions a few times, and I usually do it with him, but I always end up steering back to missionary. The other night, he asked if we could 69. And though I did want to try it, I actually haven't been able to get off from him going down to me. I even went as far as starting to go down on him, but I chickened out

and rolled him on top of me to do missionary. How can I get past this mental block that keeps me from branching out and trying new positions. All right. Thank you so much for your email, Anna. Well, first stop is recognizing that you have a block against this, which is huge. And I also want to say that our sex life is not a fixed state. My mission is to get everybody to constantly be exploring and opening up and seeing how we can expand our sexual repertoire.

So just because you have an orgasm from oral yet or in these other positions with past partners or this partner doesn't mean it's not. possible. And side note, I want to remind everybody that the goal of sex and especially experimenting is not necessarily orgasm. It's about exploring, okay? Paying attention to what feels good and seeing like where you could get stimulated, then maybe you get to orgasm. So I want to know how much time you spend getting to know your own body and what feels good to you because I know there's a lot to be learned during masturbation practice, getting comfortable with yourself, and then showing what your partner likes is key. I think we got to share, bring our partners into our start.

Because then you're not one person trying to solve your sex life and trying to fix it and try to pretend. This is where performative sex starts to happen. We think that we should be doing something different than how we're feeling, acting like you like it. Although you're not doing that. You're shutting down the positions going back to missionary. But what I'm saying is what if there's a middle ground here when you say to your partner, listen, I know I've sort of shut down positions lately, but I realize I haven't really tried that many positions or I haven't had a luck in many positions finding what makes me feel good. So another thing that could be good for you too is some mutual masturbation so he could learn what your hotspots are and what feels good to you.

You could learn what feels good to him. And then maybe there you guys could figure out what positions would feel good knowing now how you touch yourself and how you get really turned on. And I want you both to have the goal of pleasure and wanting to be good lovers to each other. So slowing down and communicating your needs is key. So again, expansive sex, growing together over time and then bringing in some new positions. to keep it interesting and hot and we'll keep it from getting less wrote and boring, which, to be honest, happens with a lot of things in our life, our exercise routine, the things we're eating, our nightly routine, and the way we have sex. All right, Anna, let me know how it goes.

Keep me posted. All right, we'll get right back to this, but I want to take a minute to talk about one of my all-time faves, the magic wand. You guys know I'm a huge advocate for prioritizing time for pleasure. I talk about it all the time because I think it's such an important piece in our overall wellness. And tools like the magic wand make it much easier to actually practice that. And lately, I've been really into their waterproof version. It's cordless, fully submersible, and perfect for using in your shower. As a time to just really reset and give yourself you time.

Because let's be honest, most of us are moving through life so fast, our brains are 10 steps ahead of our bodies. So when you step into your warm bath or shower, bring the magic wand with you. You can start by using it on your shoulders, your neck, your lower back, just let the tension melt away. And then you can let that relaxation evolve into pleasure without all that pressure. The water helps you slow down and reconnect with your body in a really grounded, full body way. So if you want to check Magic One out for yourself, head to shop sex withemly.com

slash Magic Wand. That shop Sex withemly.com slash Magic Wand or just click the link in the show notes. Let's get into our second misconception that there's nothing kinky about missionary. And let's just be honest, the name doesn't do it any favors. But again, it's all a matter of mindset. Listen, if you want the primal energy of doggie style, let's just find a way to bring that into missionary and combine the best of both worlds.

All right, here is a question from Marka, 30 in Missouri. She writes, Dr. Emily, how do I tell my partner that I want to feel their desire? I want to hear things like, you know, you need me so bad and bend me right over the kitchen table and rip my panties off or push me up against the wall and tell me you want to fuck me right now. I find the more serious our relationship gets, the less kinky my partner wants to be. We've been having missionary sex strictly at bedtime for a few months now and I worry he'll be uncomfortable being as rough or outspoken as I want him to be with me. Sex is super important and I don't want to lose our excitement. All right, Marca, thank you so much for your email.

I get it. You want him to bring a little bit more energy. You want him to be a little bit more dominant. Maybe you want him to chop dirty. You want him to learn a new skill set here. So he's not doing anything wrong at all. It's truly about showing him what you want, what you need. I think that this is the challenge with this.

Is he's super comfortable with you, you're comfortable with him and then saying someone, be dominant. You know, when we just tell our partners, oh, throw me against the wall, throw me against the bed, they want to please you, I would think. Sounds like you guys are in a good relationship and it's getting, you know, a lot more serious. But understanding when and how to do something like that is something that we got to learn. What I would say is that you have a conversation with them outside the bedroom about your sex life. You know, using my three T's, timing tone and turf.

Turf is outside the bedroom. And timing is when you guys are. hanging out, maybe it's your next date night, and your tone is light and curious. And you want to say to them, I really want to talk about our sex life. Start with a compliment sandwich. You could talk about all the things that you really like about it and you've enjoyed going to bed together and having sex and that you love how the relationship's getting more serious and how you feel so much more closer to them. And then you could say, and I really, you know, want to keep the passion going in our sex life. And you can even say, I've never actually talked to someone about this,

but it's really important to me to have a growth mindset around sex. And a growth mindset means that it's important for you to connect you to have a sex life that is expanding and growing and it's not fixed, right? There's a fixed versus growth. Fix means that we're going to keep doing the same things over and over again. You could say, I've adopted a growth mindset around sex and I want to make sure that we're on the same page of this. And again, it sounds to me like maybe this is new for you to have these conversations.

I'm just going to assume that you're like most of our listeners and most people on the planet that we don't talk about this stuff. So again, bringing your partner in and saying, I want to be great lovers to each other. I want to keep this growing and passionate and hot. And then you could say something that I think about is being dominated. And that would look like you kind of grabbing me and telling me that you want me and, you know, bending me over the kitchen counter. And those are the things I think about it would be really hot. Tell me how any of that lands with you.

Now, I'm telling you, you might be like, well, what do you mean? I'm not good enough in bed. I want you guys to understand that it's the first time you talk to your partner about sex. And maybe it happens several times. You have to be prepared that your partner is going to feel like you are maybe attacking them, that they're doing something wrong, that they're not great lovers. I mean, all these things come up because, again, most of us don't talk about it. So you have to do your best to reassure him and say, no, this is just something that I'm working

on too. We're in this together. I also want to know what turned you on. What are your fantasies? And listen, you could even just start with, I realize you've been. been together for a while now, and we've never talked about our fantasies. I want to hear your fantasies. Tell me your top three fantasies. Here's my top three fantasies. We don't have to get all this out in one conversation. So just starting more basis. Like it's important to me of a growth mindset,

let's talk about our fantasies. And then you could lead into, I'd love it if you dominated me. And so then he can kind of hear what you said. And again, you have to feel comfortable, like reassuring him and letting you know that this is something that you guys are in together. And he might not know what it means. We're going back to it's a skill set. sure he wants to please you, but you'll be like, I don't know what you mean. I've never done that before. Is it okay to be physical with you in that way? So this is where we use our tools. This is where I love porn. This is where I love you finding some clips, some audio, some video that kind of let him know what you are into and what that looks like. You can even show him.

That might be how to you dominated him for a minute. He knew what you liked. So that's the first thing is letting him know that's the energy that you want to bring the table. And it's, If you want to keep missionary hot, you could also have him dominate you during missionary. He could take your hands and you can tie him behind your head or just take your hands and push him back behind you. So you can't grab him. He could also get a spreader bar, which is really cool that keeps your legs spread apart while, you know, you're having missionary. So get creative, maybe listen to this episode together and have some conversations, Marco, so you can get your needs met and make your sex life super hot because you deserve it.

Let's get into your final misconception number three. A lot of Volvo owners say they have a hard time getting off a missionary, but that doesn't mean it's not possible. Everything's possible. Really, it is. See, clitoral stimulation is super important. So the key is just figuring out how to work it in. And by the way, if you don't orgasm, nothing wrong with you.

For some people, many people, missionary is great without the big orgasm. So I'm not suggesting you need to be fixed or anything's wrong with you. but if you're looking to hack missionary or change your experience, I am totally here for it. All right, this is from Cassandra 29 in Ontario. She says, is it true or false that if you can orgasm by stimulating your clitoris, that you cannot orgasm through penetration? I also have heard and I've read that there's no such thing as a G-spot. I'm 29 years old and I've been in relationship with my boyfriend for seven years.

I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and I've slept with no other men other than my boyfriend. I'm not able to have an orgasm through penetration. I so badly want to have that sexual experience with my boyfriend, but it only seems I can feel pleasurable by stimulating my clitoris. Help me. Cassandra, you've come to the right place. I am here to help. So let's just clear some things up right now.

The majority of vulva owners can and will have an orgasm through their clitoris. That's how it happens. All right. It's clitoral stimulation. and that is a type of orgasm that is the most common. The G spot, which I just, I don't know how we say this doesn't exist and you know how I feel about the G spot. I think it's more of a G area.

I think it's really internal clitoral nerves. But there is an internal nerve that is called the G spot. That's an area. And it just takes a little bit more exploration. Now, let me tell you this, that if you could have a clitoral orgasm, that is amazing because for the majority of Volvo owners to find their G-spot and to find that internal orgasm, it helps to already have a clitor orgasm because then you're more aroused, the tissues become more engorged, the blood starts to flow. So what I recommend is maybe your partner goes down on you first,

you use toys, fingers, mouth, and you have that first clitoral orgasm. And then you could try penetrative sex. Now, when you put this penis inside, you. you, you might be able to have an orgasm because you're already aroused. And then you could start to relax and breathe. You can pump your pelvic floor muscles, you know, against his penis. That's how it might happen. Have you ever tried that? A lot of us just have our clitor orgasm and we're done or we assume that you just have an orgasm through penetration. But I'm going to remind you here that only 30% of vulva owners will have an orgasm during penetration. And so it's very rare. 70% will not unless they have extra clitoral stimulation with hands, a toy's mouth.

Okay? So I want you to experiment and see during masturbation or mutual masturbation if you can find your G spot have a blended orgasm, which means that you're really just after you have a clitor orgasm, then you have a G spot orgasm, it can be blended. I think that they're often really related. Some of the vulva owners who do have an orgasm, through penetration, it just has to do with the placement of their anatomy. It doesn't mean they were born under some special moon or anything. This is really just about figuring out your own body. We have a

great squirting episode with Deborah Sundal, and we get into this a lot about finding your G-spot. So I want you just to prioritize your pleasure and take some initiative in talking to your partner and letting you know that this is a goal that you have and you guys can work on it together, Again, it's so fun to bring your partner into these goals that you have sexually. Cat position might work for you too, the coil alignment technique that I talked about. But I just think the big thing here is your mindset. So I want you to flip it and know that it is possible for you to have orgasms in other ways. And I get that the holy grail for so many of you is that like, oh, I want just penis to go in my vagina.

And then I have a screaming orgasm like I see in porn or like I've seen in movies. and I'm just going to remind you here, and if I can do it every day on the show, which I probably do, I try to, that's just not realistic. That's not how real life goes. That's not how it works for most people. You're not seeing the warm up. You're not seeing the oral sex. You're not seeing the foreplay.

You're not seeing the lobe. You're not seeing all the things that went before that. And in fact, also just seeing a penis goes in vagina and someone starts having a screaming orgasm, again, only works for 30% of Volvo owners. Okay? So I want you to remember that. I want you to bring this into your relationship and start to work at understanding your body and how you can have more pleasure during parted sex.

All right. Thanks for your question, Cassandra. I believe in you and you got this. Speaking of our G-spot, our nexus, our nexus has found hers. Yay, I love that. But she needs help incorporating her vibrator into missionary. All right, this is from Tori 48 in Canada. She writes,

Hi, Dr. Emily. I used to find it difficult to orgasm in my younger years. I basically needed a jackhammer to get off. I was thrilled to discover the magic wand, which was a game changer for me. I became brave enough to bring it up with my husband. I'm a people pleaser and concerned about hurting others' feelings, and I guess egos in this case. I finally got the courage to communicate that I need to incorporate a vibrator. The problem I need to solve today is that the magic wand is big and cumbersome in some of my favorite positions.

For example, when I want to have an intense close embrace during missionary position, I have to ease my guy up and back onto his knees to fit my vibe into the mix. The pleasure of the vibe near his balls and shaft during doggy, my absolute favorite position, sometimes gets him off too soon. Is there a vibrator as strong and intense as the magic wand that is smaller and less awkward? P.S. I finally taught myself to ejaculate. I found my G-spot years ago, but finally nailed how to bring her alive. All right. Thank you so much for your question. Tori. All right, few things to improve.

pack here. I totally get loving the magic wand. If you guys do know what the magic wand is, it's been around for over 50 years. It is the Mack truck of all vibrators. It used to just plug into the wall and then about, I don't know how many years ago they came out with the rechargeable magic wand, so you don't have to be near an outlet. But now I've got some great news for you, Tori, that the magic wand just recently, I just got it a few weeks ago, came out in a mini version. That's right. There is a mini wand with the same power and Half the size. I've solved your problem.

I love this product. I was so excited when I got it. I screamed. I didn't know it's coming out. It was a whole thing. I've been busy. I wasn't paying attention. And there it was in my mail and I love it and I use it all the time.

Now, it is amazing, everyone. Check out the new mini magic wand. Why is a magic wand so great? It really does have this power that is unparalleled. That was one of the first in business. It's made from body save material. It's really easy to use to. You know, there's some toys that have like, you know, 15 patterns and 20 levels and all the things, which is really fun.

But this toy just got a few levels, a few patterns, and it feels unbelievable and you're going to love it. So, Tori, thank you for your question. I appreciate you. The other thing I want to say is I'm a people pleaser too. Any other people pleasers could totally relate to Tori's like being concerned about hurting your partner's feelings. And I want to challenge you right now if you are that person. And you're thinking, oh, God, I can never do that. And I'm a people pleaser.

Well, I want to challenge you to be like Tori and to practice asking for what you want. Just one thing. Because I know we often believe that we are hurting our partner's egos and maybe they're going to leave us or they're going to feel rejected. But what I want to say is if you are not asking for what you want and you're not letting your partner know that you need something else, well, essentially what you're doing is you're choosing their satisfaction and their pleasure over your own. You're essentially saying my pleasure doesn't matter as much as my partner's ego.

or protecting my partner? And do you think that your partner would actually want that for you? Would they want you to not be having as much pleasure so they would feel better? And I hope they would not want that. And they would fully support your pleasure. And like I said, I am a people pleaser. I think it doesn't ever go away, but it's something that I work on. And I definitely have to work on this in the bedroom myself.

And once you start to do it, you realize that, A, gets easier. And B, it becomes a conversation that you start to have with your partner. you enjoy it and you start to expand upon it. And you're like, well, this is what I used to like last month or last year, but let's try something new. And it's a great way to have a really healthy, ongoing conversation with your partner about your sex life. Let me just say this. There are some other toys besides using the magic wand. We've made something called the chorus and it's a wearable vibrator. They were the first ones to make wearable vibrators. It's shaped like a C and you could actually wear that during penetration where the internal

part kind of cups around your vulva. So there's a part that's inside that's stimulating your G-spot. And there's another part that goes over your clitoris. And then your partner's penis goes inside of you. So that's a fun one you can play with too. All right. There you go. That's it. That's our episode, Making Missionary Hot. I hope you learned a lot and try it out. Let me know how it goes. That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show, please like, subscribe. And leave a review wherever you get your podcast. And hey, share this with a friend or a partner. It might just spark something. It usually does. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube,

Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at Sex withemly.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure.