Sex With Emily - More Sex (Talk) with Emily: Special Announcement

Episode Date: November 8, 2018

On today’s bonus show, Emily’s got a special announcement! Along with emails and some sex talk, of course. She reveals some news that includes you, her, and a lot more sex talk! Plus, she discusses why talking about sex with friends can actually lead to better sex, what to do about a swinging situation gone bad, and the best couples toys to use in the bedroom. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Aneros Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex With Emily, today's bonus show is a special announcement along with some emails and sex talk because, well, that's why I'm here, right? Topics include, I've got some news and it includes me, you, and a whole lot more sex. Why talking about sex with friends can actually lead to better sex? What to do about a swinging situation gone bad and the best couples toys to use in the bedroom. All this and more, thanks for listening. They provide, they call them in a bike on day. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got ever stand-up. Oh, my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God, I'm off here. So, I'm gone.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything between. For more information check out sexwithemily.com. You can also follow us on all social media. It's at Sex with Emily across the board. Today's show you guys I have a special announcement for all of you.

I'm here with Jamie. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Pretty sure Jamie. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. So here's my announcement. I am so excited to let you all know that I'm going to be on serious XM radio. Stars channel 109 starting on Monday, November 12th. So that's this upcoming Monday. I'm going to be doing a show Monday through Friday. So that's like every weekday

from 5 to 7 Pacific, 8 to 10 Eastern. So you guys could also, if you want to get a free trial, check it out. You can go to sexelmy.com slash SXM. So, serious XM, SXM. So I just want to announce this to you guys because I have to thank all of you for supporting the show all these years because for 13 years actually, I started the podcast in my living room and this is a dream come true. Podcast isn't going anywhere of course.

I will always be doing the podcast, but I am so excited to be able to be on live radio every day and have a live show to just help so many more people, the audience will have such a large reach across North America. It has been a journey, starting it out and trying to figure out how to actually make a living, doing what I'm doing was quite a journey and just deciding that I'm going to be the person talking about sex in the room even 13 years ago was a lot different than now. Although, no, it still can be very awkward for people, but I still, I really couldn't have done any of this without all the listeners.

And all of you guys, like, staying on board and listening to the show and telling your friends and sending in your emails and my amazing team. Thank you, Jamie. And it's just going to be really kind of like the podcast, but more sex talk, live cause, more guests, lots of tips and your emails. So I just hope you guys will check it out. And like I said, if you don't have serious already, you can go to sexwithm.ly.com slash SXM.

And the other thing I want to say is is nothing was handed to me on this journey a lot of it was just Sticking with something that I believed in and continuing to learn along the way and I feel like there's a lot of times that I probably should have quit and Maybe even now. I don't think I ever wanted to quit. I have to be honest. I never really wanted to but there was so much things pointing towards You know financially I was struggling and people weren't really listening to podcasts until a few years ago. Thank you to serial, serial was probably the podcast that launched that. I actually went to a woman the other night. She was saying like, if I had advice for her, she was starting out like in the early 20s and she wants to be do some hosting and some acting and she's like, it's just so hard how do you keep going?

And I've said, you know, if you surround yourself with really good people and you don't look at things that don't work out as failures because there's gonna be so many of them along the way Like I can't tell you how much rejection I got and how many times, you know things great really good things would happen Like I got a live radio show about six months into my podcast in 2005, which was so amazing. I did that for like a year, but then the station went out of business and it flipped formats in a moment's notice. Then I had a TV pilot thing picked up and there was just really, seemingly, I thought no way to make money.

I was really hesitant about even figuring it out because I was like, well, I'm just an artist doing a show that's going to help people. When I realized how important this was because I was like, well, I'm just an artist doing a show that's gonna help people. But when I realized how important this was and how people love the show, I kind of just had to figure out how to make a business out of it. And it was scared me. And so I feel like in life or in business,

when you're really scared about something or you've anxiety, sometimes it's really a message that it's what you want to be doing and you just got to push through it. So I was telling myself, I'm not really good at business or I can't lick it numbers or I just gonna do the show and do what you love. The money will follow, which is the first book I ran after college and I actually thought that was true. And then I thought it wasn't true because I was like how can I be

suffering so much and not making any money. But now I look back and I'm like oh I actually did follow my passion and it took me a while you guys. I wasn't it wasn't until my mid 30s that I actually found the one thing that I really was passionate about too. So I feel like if you are starting out, you know, by the way, where you are in your life, keep searching for that one thing that gets you excited to get up in the morning

and that makes a difference because with this happening and this dream really coming true, I just, I really do believe that there was a lot of odds against me that there really isn't anything I couldn't do. I can't do and I'm not saying it's always really easy, but it's just you just got to keep following those dreams.

And also, if you are starting something, it does help to have people with you around you. So something I realized early on, this is another thing, is that I was doing it all in my house by myself. And then I realized that like, that's just really hard to be an entrepreneur and starting a business or starting anything. And so I found interns initially, which I still have always had a really strong intern program. Most of them I've hired. Jamie was an intern and Sarah works for you as an intern.

I'm just so grateful for that because I really couldn't even afford to pay people early on. To have someone there who is again sharing your vision and helping out can be just that thing that you need to keep you going. Anyway, you guys, thank you for following me on to this next journey. I, like I said, the podcast is still here and I can't wait to hear what you guys think about the show. If you do have serious exam, a lot of cars come with it for free these days and again we

give a free trial. You can check out on our site. So that's what I got for you. That's our special announcement. It's so exciting. It really is. It really is a dream. I mean, I really couldn't tell you guys. We've kind of known this is happening for a while.

We did a test week in June and I actually can't believe it. I actually had given up on this, Jane, for let's give it up on the dream of sex with the Emily, but radio, because I just thought I didn't know how that was going to happen. Like, I thought it just seemed like there wasn't money in radio. We weren't listening, but they really a serious XM is such a great place for me to be. It is.

That's all to go. I think like, serious XM and just podcasts in general kind of has like is bringing like, you know, keeping radio really around because it is because it was everyone's like, oh, radio, like, why would you do that when you can, you know, watch TV or you can watch movies or you can listen to music? And it's like, I don't know, there's something soothing about like driving along in your car and hearing someone talking to you.

Right, there really is. Yeah. Or when you're cleaning your house, that's when I listen to stuff. Is when cleaning my house. I always have stuff going on in the background. It's true, podcasts or radio. And I just love that it's immediate and live.

And then you'll be like driving like, and what another thing I love is it's drive time in Los Angeles. So people are in their cars. I mean, Pacific coast. immediate and live. And then you'll be like driving like, and what another thing I love is it's drive time in Los Angeles, so people are in their cars. I mean, Pacific coast. Yeah, and we all know how terrible that is. It's terrible. So like if you're like in LA,

you're like, actually, what would I think about this weird thing that happened to me last night? Or this thing, you know, that I want, or a date I had, or something I want to change in my relationship? Cause I feel like if you were driving in their cars, or even if you're just listening on their app, which I love, I actually

listen on their app, is that you can just be thinking you could actually change your life that night. You can be like, what do I want to do at this? Then when you get home, have that talk with your partner, masturbator, do whatever you need to do. Flow inspiration, every day, 10 hours a week. Why not? Exactly.

It's going to be fun. So it's on Star's 109. OK, should we get into sex in the news? I think so. OK, I loved this because there was a study that came out and I was kind of like yeah of course women sexual Communication with their female friends is linked to their sexual health and well-being So the study says that women who talked to their female friends about sex tend to have higher levels of Sexual self-efficacy and self-esteem according to a new research

of levels of sexual self-efficacy and self-esteem, according to a new research, published by the Journal of Sexual Health. And I thought about this because my very first sex talks was with my girlfriends. I mean, part of this journey that I'm on with sex was because I wasn't having great sex. And I remember in college, saying to my girlfriends one day,

who are still like my closest four best girlfriends, and I was like, you guys, what is the deal with sex? Like, my boyfriend was coming in from another school every day. It was like, freshman year or sophomore year. And we would just be having sex. He'd be like pounding away like jackhammer. I didn't know I'm not to do the jackhammer.

I didn't tell them I didn't know. But I wasn't having orgasms as we all know. If you've been listening, I was a late bloomer on that thing. And I just, they were like, well, don't you master my Emily or orgasms? And I was like, no. And then we were all in this mission. They were like, well, Tony Master, right, Emily, or orgasms, and I was like, no, and then we were all in this mission. They were like, well, this is how it works. And this is, you know, I just hearing their experiences

and feeling like my first, out of the gate, my friends were so open and warm about it, just really, until this day, I'm always talking to my friend. I'm always that one, talking to my friends about sex, and I do believe in their talking back to me. I think it's, it makes sense that it would help women with make healthier sexual decisions about partners, consent, sexual self efficacy means

that women basically if they have higher efficacy, they women are feeling like, yeah, I trust myself. I trust that I can find good partners that are good to me, that I can ask for what I want and bad, that I can have sexual, sexual, sexual consent. They also fire self-esteem, so they feel better about themselves. So just knowing that you're not alone and others are going through similar things. And I think also that the other thing is, if you, like I feel like most of my friends be going to these categories, we do talk about sex, but not all of them. And some other

woman I talked were like, oh, I don't talk to anyone, but you, none of my friends we go into this category. We do talk about sex, but not all of them. And some other woman I talk to are like, oh, I don't talk to anyone, but you, none of my other friends talk about sex. But I feel like, I bet if you venture into this territory with your friends, if you be the one that brings it up, you're like, I wonder what my friends are doing in the bedroom, or I wonder how they could be supportive

or what I could learn from them. Breathe that friend. Be the one that brings it up. I mean, James, you are that one with your friends. I am that one. You still are. You must have more so. Like, it's interesting because,

and I've actually just started really thinking about this and like a perspective away from myself, but I really am the one that brings up sex. Like, I'm the one, I'm like, we're talking about it. I'm talking about what I did that was new. I'm talking about something I learned at work. I'm talking about all, and even before I worked here, I was always asking questions about, like, because I had a lot of guy friends, and I was just like, so what is it?

So tell me about a blow job. Like what makes a good blow job to you? Just because I thought it was interesting, but I'm like no one is bringing up that conversation to me except for I have one other friend that's just down all the time to talk about it. So it's just very interesting, but they never shy away from it. They're always like, yeah, cool, let's talk about it.

But I do realize that they don't really bring it up on their own. They're not like having side conversations. We're not there. We're not there, but they're just not as in detail. I'm very like, no, let's get down to this. I wonder, yeah, right. And I think they probably appreciate that.

My friends now are sometimes like saving up the questions for when they see me. But I, you know, I wasn't like this. I wasn't at born this way. So I feel like for people, you know. You can learn to be this way. You can learn to be this way. And I feel like you guys, we don't shy away talking about

what we had for dinner last night or the workout we had at the gym. I mean, sex is the same thing. We're all sexual beings. So, I feel we can talk about it. Now, I think it's interesting. What happens to men who talk about sex? The partner is just, there is no study that has come out. But I think that men could also benefit

from talking to each other. They could, but I feel like they don't get into it like women do. No, I feel like they don't. I feel like they're like, yeah, it was really hot or I had sex or I didn't have sex. Either I had it or I didn't or it was hot, it wasn't, but we're like granular.

Yeah, like we get into it and it's not even like, I don't know, it's just, it's just also more, I think we do that so that we can kind of understand it better and break it down with our friends. So our friends are like, oh, okay, like yeah, I could see why that happened. Or like, oh, okay, that was interesting. I wonder if that's gonna feel good to me

if I try that or something like that. Right. I feel like a guy would only get into somewhat detail of something really wrong happen. Like, oh my God, like her parents walked in or like, you know, her roommate, like you can't even blow the condom broke. Or like, she's like, she let me put it in her butt.

Right. Like, that's it, like highlight. Yeah. So I just think we would all, I mean, yeah. So guys, be that guy in your group too, I think. This is for everybody. I'm assuming that men who have healthy relationships with guys could also benefit from these kind of conversations. Okay, let's talk about some more sex

and then we're gonna get into your emails, morning sex. Good for your health, it is, and here's how to make it happen. So I hear from a lot of people, there is no time for sex, I get it, you've got kids, jobs, life, families. But what about just setting the alarm in the morning, 20 minutes earlier, then you start your day off with sex. So I think, you know, this is just an opportunity

thinking about why, because this study actually says that morning sex is actually good for your health, that it doesn't have to be a huge thing, it doesn't have to be like a whole ordeal, as long as you're both getting pleasure from it. So I think morning sex, great, great for random acts of oral. Random acts of oral. Would you guys buy the T-shirt if I bought a random

acts of oral t-shirt? Yeah, we had a Twitter poll and people wanted. They did? They do, right. Okay, guys, we're going to make t-shirts. What was my other new t-shirt I wanted to get? Oh, China is the new kale. China is the new kale.

I'm just like, kale. I don't know. I know a lot of guys are like, what if I don't look kale? But it's good for you and you should eat it. So is that good? Can I eat spinach? I know.

That's good. Kale, should eat it. So, is that good? But I eat spinach. I know, that's good. Kale, kale is controversial. It is. Or, okay, here's my new mantra. This is my other t-shirt I came up with. On the way to top new guys up morning sex, I was thinking my new thing that I'm trying to do in the morning is meditate, masturbate, and manifest.

So, I like to meditate like right when I get up, if I can, and then masturbating in the morning, and then manifesting. And by manifesting, I mean, think about three things you want to accomplish that day, or picture your day. I mean, whenever I do do this, I visualize something like a lot of times at the end of my meditation.

I have like a few minutes where I just think about the day ahead. And there's an amazing power in either writing it down or visualizing it, like if you're nervous about something, and you're like, well, how do I want it to go? Or how do I want to feel at the end of that speech or that meeting or that show or picture yourself like how it feels when it's happening or how you're standing.

Like the more you can visualize something and how it looks, feels, smells, tastes, sound, you know, and what your goals are for it, it can actually, the manifestation part actually can help. And bigger than smaller scale, you can be manifesting for the day or manifesting for your life. So would you buy a meditator, masturbator,

manifest t-shirt? I would definitely buy that. I think a lot of people would buy that. I only do one of those things in the morning. Oh, I just masturbate. Oh, wait, I knew that. I know you're not a meditator. I should though.

I think I should start trying to do it, but it's like, I don't know. You don't know how maybe you haven't done it, meditation? I've done it. I had to go do 10 days of silence years ago, but you could just get one of these apps that are awesome. I should. I should do that on the list.

Add to the list of all the things you have to do in the morning. Even if you do one of those, you're good. The thing about masturbation in the morning is, it actually is good for your health. So I'm saying this whole thing about sex in the morning could just be masturbation in the morning. So here's some of the benefits to it. Start your day off in a better mood and less stress.

Sex has been proven to reduce stress because you're releasing all those fielded hormones, like dopamine and oxytocin which can help you bond with your partner but also orgasm releases that if you're alone. So your day can start your full calmer, more relaxed, feeling connected to yourself, your partner. Hormones, you guys, in the morning for men and for women they are working in your favor. Testosterone's higher, which is linked to your sex drive.

Like your morning would, your morning boner, doesn't mean that your horny just means that your testosterone is higher in the morning, so might as well use it, right? For women, estrogen is higher, also linked to sex drive. So biologically it just works in your favor, and then you're not thinking like, I hope we have time for sex tonight,

you kinda just, the more stuff you could knock out in the morning, all these people talk about like, all the friggin' self-help gurus or whatever they are, they'd be like, do you make your bed in the morning? Do everything that's all about the morning. It is. Except for I'm not exactly a morning person. Me, me. I want to be that person that works out in the morning,

like gets up at 6.30 or 7 a.m. and like, I just, my body's like, you're waking up at 8 and that30 or 7 a.m. and like I just, my body's like, you're waking up at 8 and that's the time you wake up. Yeah, I know. But the reason why I've had such a hard time with this, because I used to be, like the older I get, the better I was. That's my favorite thing to say lately, because I feel like I used to get up really early and, but now it's just, yeah, I can't. It's a, I'm an 8, 8, 30 person, but whatever, if more, if you are a morning person, a lot of studies I've read about habits forming, that if you just, let's say you wanna work out,

if they say if you just do one push up or two push ups in the morning, like right after you do something that you already know you do, like brush your teeth. If you do every morning, you add like one task for like a week, like just two push ups so you meditate for two minutes, that's how you build habits.

Oh, that's cool. I think I have a whole other show called Habit forming with Emily. Not that I've been at successful with it, but I know all the ways to do it. Just like organization, not that organized, but I could tell you guys how to be organized. Sex, I do know, so not to worry.

Okay, it's also a good workout. It's not P90X in the morning having sex, and not sure you're into that. You're still somewhat doing someone of a fasting workout. You might burn a few calories if you haven't worked out, but it can make you feel more energetic throughout the day. And I know you're thinking, well, I always want to go

to sleep after sex, but just get up, jump in the shower, and you will feel that energy. Research shows sex makes you look younger, or guys have been pretty much more estrogen, good for your skin. Mm-hmm. That's a good incentive, everyone. That's why I do it in the morning.

If I feel like I'm not looking very like sprightly, I'm like masturb masturbate a little bit and then I look in the mirror and I'm full of color. It's true It's so true. I just feel like so anxiety goes down Your blood flows increased as well as DHEA levels which are an anti-aging hormone which is true DHEA Is is is an important hormone and you have a nice natural glow like Jamie So look at the me after having sex. Your complexion looks better. So if any of this grabs you up morning sex, I think it's important. I think Jamie's going to add some, I should actually masturbate more in the morning too.

Like I'm saying, I have it. So you start masturbating. I'll start meditating. I'm more meditating and manifesting than I am masturbating, but lately I've been trying to, yeah, let's just keep each other accountable here. Okay. That's great. Okay.

So, now we can get on to your emails. All right. Okay, guys, we're going to take a quick break and we'll be right back. Hey, guys, that was Sex in the News. Let's get on to your emails now. I love answering your questions. It's why I do what I do. If you want to question answered on the show, you can go to our website, sexthumbly.com, click

the Ask Emily tab, include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. First email, this is from Dave, 30 in Canada. Hey Emily, about a year ago, my girlfriend expressed interest in wanting to try swinging, telling me the idea of watching me sleep with another woman turned her on. Due to previous jealousy issues on her end, I was skeptical and made sure that we spent some time discussing anything and everything we could think of as well as attending swing parties and talking to people in the lifestyle.

We went out with a couple, we drank too much, ended up back at our place and started to soft swap. I left the room and started to get sick. She kept going and telling me that our hard rules were broken while I was blacking out. When we talked about, she just tried to justify it as we were all pretty drunk. I'm not sure how to get over this. We've been together for seven years.

I'm super analytical. I just want to know why, but anytime I try to bring it up She gets upset that I have consoling her and not getting any closure on my end Should I just shrug it off as a drunken mistake? Dave. This is a interesting canondrum. You got yourself into into here You know I You know my first thing is like I Get it like I understand guys like you're people like you, like your brain just like, it doesn't compute,

everything doesn't stack up. She had jealousy issues and then she had liquid courage and this all went through that night. So I'm just trying to figure out which part of it is upsetting to you. Like, is it more that she got drunk and broke the rules is that she's set for someone else? Is there other times in your relationship

where she does drink too much and if other things happen? So I just want to say that because, you know, if you do do this again and there's everyone listening, you know, getting black out drunk and having sex is just, especially if you're going to be swinging and opening up your relationship and breaking through some boundaries or testing new boundaries, just not great. So anytime someone's selling wrong in a relationship or anytime alcohol, you can't just plead, I was wasted, right?

I mean, it's a tough excuse because in a sense, we've all been drunk and done things we regret, right? Big and small. So I get it, but it's never been okay to say, sorry I was drunk. So I do think you're gonna get past this, but I'm just wondering why won't she talk about it?

Is because she's embarrassed and she feels bad? Is it because she actually just really liked it and doesn't wanna do it again? Is she just, I'm not sure why she wouldn't, but maybe you guys don't, this would be a great time for you guys to practice really good communication skills about things other than just sex, but about, you know, if you guys were together seven years, like, I would like her to show us in compassion here for your feelings too,

about how it feels to have those boundaries, you know, broken. And, you know, let her know that you're not actually bringing up to get mad at her, but you want to understand. And maybe both of you, and maybe this isn't just like a back and forth that maybe you both together needed to figure out where to go next. Are you gonna keep swapping? Yeah, and like they both got really drunk too, so it's kind of like maybe there should have been

some kind of word or say for it in a sense, but kind of like, okay, we're too drunk for this to be happening because I'm picturing him being sick in the other room and then, you know, she could have just been really drunk and been like, oh he's somewhere and I'll be back and then just going through with it. But at the same time, I feel like I would be more upset than I'm like, you didn't check on me when I was sick.

And he just continued to hook up with these people and then break all of the rules that we set out for. Yeah, no, that's a good point, right? So I think maybe don't swap for a while. Yeah, I think you guys got some healing to do here because yeah, we're, what if you're what, sometimes you know, when people drink so much, they can't really, they're not making the best decisions, but you're right, that, that feels hurtful. I guess it's okay to let them know how it made you feel, not that you're, you know.

Kind of like don't let it. But let her know. Yeah, like just kind of be like, look, I don't want you to like get defensive and cry or anything. I'm just letting you know, like this didn't feel good to me. So how do we prevent this? Right. Because I don't want her to shut down about your sex life.

Like I think you guys need to continue to talk. So she's got to open it up. And I think you guys will learn a lot more by each other. And see where you want to take this next. Our next email is from Arielle 23 in New Jersey. Hey, Emily, Jamie and team. First of all, I'm obsessed with your show. I listen on my commute to and from work and I have to say it's a strange and invigorating feeling

becoming all hot and powdered on the train. I love that. Anyway, I'm wondering a recommendation on the best couples toy. I don't have the easiest time organizing during vaginal sex. Usually I only can while using a vibrator ring, a vibrating ring that provides constant pressure vibration on my clip. My boyfriend is super open to trying all toys, so any recommendations would be amazing. God, I love how people sex toys. I wish I could be like, who's the woman who trying all toys so any recommendations would be amazing.

God, I love how people sex toys. I wish I could be like, who's the woman who go to like the American cosmetics? Like when was that like back in the 70s or whatever, like I could, I know they have these parties, but I'd love just to be able to help everyone. Like this is what you need.

I will match you up with toys. Right, like a dating game? Yeah, I could date a game, but with like fly-raid toys. Yes, here's the vibrator that's right for you. So the Wevibe sync or the Wevibe actually was invented as a couples toy. Like the original name Wevibe is the, another latest one is the sync. It's a couples toy that you wear during sex. And so you might really like that one.

The, the Dame Eva 2 is another one. That's a wearable vibe. And then the Mystery Vive, Crescendo. That's a good one too, Dame, right? We got those. You could bend it into a million different shapes. Well, that's why I like that one because it can be so many different toys at once

and there's so many different motors in it. And it's like similar, like it has an app that you can use it with, which is really cool because there are so many different motors But you could use that one could be fun because you could use that like so you can never use it the same way twice almost if you wanted to Yeah The mid yeah, I just found that when I was going through all my toys It has a different yeah, it's like it looks like one of those did you those

those snap bracelets Yeah, it's like a snap bracelet, but it's like looks like a ruler, but like snaps So you could like you could just curl in any shape you want. Also, you said you used it a ring during sex. I'm wondering which one, because I do love the pivot ring, because I feel like the pivot is a great ring, but also I like it as a glitteral vibe.

I like it, you know, as a two-ferr. The mimic, the mimic by Clandestine, can lay in your stomach. I like this one, so it's a little butterfly. And it happened, your clip will he enters you from behind. Most of them actually can't orgasm during vagal and of course, PV. So we need something extra.

You need your hands, you need a vibrator, something extra. So you use lots of lube, make sure that, you know, maybe a little oral before, and any of these next toys are great. Yeah, I think people just forget to like, sometimes for me, because it is sometimes hard to stimulate your clitoris while you're having sex, depending on the angle that you're in. I like to pull up on my like pubic mound, because it kind of makes your clit come out

more than you can stimulate it that way. That's true. Pull it up, adjust it, see what the best position is for you. I'm always learning too, you guys. You're never really done. So every time you have sex, just try to like... Mental notes. Yeah, a little positioning. Right. Okay. So have fun with those and always use lots of loot with those toys and with every kind of sex. Okay, Kyle 31, Texas. Jamie, you want to read this one? Yes, hi, Emily. My soon-to-be fiancee and I have great sex, but we're experiencing issues with birth control. She's on birth control, but we also use condoms just to be safe,

but we can't find a condom that's comfortable for the both of us. Extra-careful, I like them. She's allergic to latex, and I'm too big for every non-latex condom we tried. Even getting it on and off is a painful experience for me. For her, the pain from sex can be pretty severe. At best, we have sex, we can have sex once every other day because she gets sore. And we use plenty of lube to make sex less painful.

We consider it a bestsectomy for me because our ultimate goal is to adopt, that's cute. But our hesitant, while I know this sounds like a BS problem, and actually limits the amount of sex we'd like to have, do you have a few suggestions for non-latex condomsoms to try or alternatives to make sure we're still safe? Thanks so much.

We love the show. Wow. Yeah. This is a good question. I told you, it is not a BS problem. I've often said in the show that we've heard more, we get more questions from listeners about penises being too large than being too small. So hopefully there's a lot of men listening. There's a huge sigh of relief there.

Because all of your penis insecurities are not really necessary, I'm telling you. So yeah, if you're healing, they've been together here. So if they, it's your fiance. So if really, if she's on birth control pill, you don't have to really worry about condoms if you guys are faithful and you're not worried about STI's STDs.

So if you guys have gotten tested, you know, you should be fine. And I have to worry about condoms. My favorite non latex condoms are skin condoms and they do make the king, K Y N G, just like SK Y N. So they make large condoms and they are non latex. And you put a few couple drops of lube on the inside of the condom that can also help. I love dental dams. Dental dams are coming back too. Like that woman who's making the dental dam. Yeah, Laurel. My Laurel, Laurel's, right?

They're not out yet, but they're like almost out and they're great. I think that's a great idea. It's like a latex underwear. Underwear, right, which is hot, I think. Because it actually feels good. No one ever really uses dental dams that much, but I feel like it's kind of like the same material,

it can be latex or non-latex, and you just put it over her vulva, and then you could also go down in her. There's also the female condom, which I don't have a lot of experience with that, but there is a female condom. And so her paid from sex could be a separate issue. So I think this is something that she could talk to our doctor

about or see a pelvic physical therapist. Like we had a great show with Heather Jeffco a few months ago. So it could be an overactive pelvic floor. I'm not sure if she's always had pain, but it's very common. 80% of women have had pain at some point in their lives. And I'm glad that she's not normalizing it, but I, because she's clearly having pain, but I think it's's important to talk to a doctor and see what that's all about.

I'm glad that you guys are aware of it and at least using lube to try to lessen it but it seems like it is a kind of a separate problem. Yeah, that might be a separate problem and you just remember, yeah, you got to go go slow, make sure you're both really the more turned on she is, these are could be to a herderp she's aroused. I do want to say though, I just think it's adorable that you guys are like planning on adopting. I know I do too. I do too.

I think that's really sweet. I love it. There's a lot of kids out there who need homes, babies. All right. This is from another Kyle. You know, a lot of Kiles. I feel like over the last few years, kiles have gone up. Which is funny, because I don't think I've only met

probably one Kyle in my life. Yes, saying, they're all listening to the show though. I know. I've met him either. OK, dear Emily, my wife and I have been married for 11 years now and have an excellent sex life, but have been slowly exploring new things. Love it.

I suggested anal to her, and she was a little unsure. The question I had for you is about after having four kids, she has hemorrhoids and I was just wondering if you had a tip for that or should I just forget about doing it? Thanks and I love the show. Okay, Ouch, I read that no, no, no, no, you cannot have anal sex when she has hemorrhoids. So I just want to make sure that she is getting treated

for her hemorrhoids and make sure that she's fully healed. I mean, and if she has chronic hemorrhoids. So I just want to make sure that she is getting treated for her hemorrhoids and make sure that she's fully healed. I mean, and if she has chronic hemorrhoids, if this is happening, I don't know how old your kids are now, then you just can't because the more you have anal sex, the more agitated it's going to be. They're going to become more irritated and will take longer for her to heal. So I think you got to spice things up in a different way. I mean, she could still, I was going gonna say she could still use a butt plug or something, but you really, you gotta be careful in that area. Because they get so easy to get them irritated. Maybe she could do ain't on you.

Kyle, that could be a thing. Have you ever wanted any kind of prostate play? That could be very exciting for you. Talking dirty, dressing up, having sex in different locations until she cures those hemorrhites. You can put a blindfold on and just tell it like she'll just be like, you're in my butt, but not right. Right, exactly.

I don't think that would work. No, it wouldn't work. Right, you get a real butt. I can't don't listen to me. It's my eyes. I'm not the expert. No, no, no. But yeah, I think you want to wait because she won't know. And you have four kids.

I love you guys, really. I think you guys, I love that you want to spice it up, but there's so much to do, though. I'm sure there's a lot more you've done. Get my book Hot Sex. It's a great tool. I think it's a few guys who just want to leave it by the bed or hide it from the kids, though. You're going to put it under your mattress or something. But you open up to any page and just got a lot of ideas that you can look at and be like,

oh, we could try this tonight. We could try that tonight. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. I'm off work. just want to leave it by the bed or hide it from the kids though. You're going to put it under your mattress or something, but you open up to any page and just got a lot of ideas that you can look at and be like, Oh, we could try this tonight. We could try that tonight. I'm off horse by sticking out, but let's hold that on the. All right, that's what we got time for today. This is a little bonus

show because I wanted to thank everybody for supporting the show and to tell you about it. It's just very surreal that this is happening, that the show is going to be on serious XM. And I think it's going to make it for a better podcast too because the more, I know in the past, when I've done live radio often and you're doing it every day, it just, it feels so good and I feel like it's going to be like a new energy and a new life. The show will still be here. The podcast is still around, but I'm just excited and grateful to all of you and I have such an amazing team. Thank you, Jamie. Thank you for this whole journey that I've been allowed to be a part of.

I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Thank you to my amazing team Ken Sarah. What up Sarah? Leave me a feedback at sexwithemily.com. you