Sex With Emily - Multiplying Orgasms & Pleasure

Episode Date: May 23, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is talking about how to become the multi-orgasmic being you are totally capable of, as well as taking your calls.   She discusses how to make initiating sex an equal playing field while in a dom/sub relationship, ways to take things slow in person with someone you’ve been sexting with, and how to get your needs met when your partner can be a little selfish. Plus, clarification on the kivin method. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Fleshlight, Adam & Eve, Pjur, SiriusXM, Veritas Farms. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm talking about how to become the multi-organic being you are totally capable of. And I'm taking your calls, Topics Include. So you've got a dumb sub-dynamic going on, but how do you make initiating sex more of an equal playing field? Sexing with someone you haven't met in person, how do you still take things slow? Your partner's got a case of selfish love lover syndrome. How do you also get yours? And a little bit of clarification on the oral sex method, everyone seems to be loving. All this and more, thanks for listening. Have a man obsessed by sex? Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on day.

Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships,

and everything in between. For more information check out sexwithemily.com. You're gonna love our website if you haven't been there yet. And our podcast, thank you for listening. We're releasing three a week, and you can comment and subscribe wherever you listen. We so appreciate it. We so appreciate when you subscribe,

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I'm there five nights a week, and I love it. It's Monday through Friday, five to seven Pacific, and you guys should check it out. It's sex talk, you can take your calls, we chat, you'll change your life, you get a free 38 trial at sexandfamily.com slash SXM. All right, guys, enjoy the show.

I need to fill you in on a little hack here. I'd like to talk to you about multiple orgasms, okay? So this is for women. You can do one for men, another time, because men, penis owners, can have them as well. But I feel like there's a lot of women who say to me, I can only have one or really hurts after I've never had multiple and this is one of those things that you can actually learn, okay? It's just because it hasn't happened to you, doesn't mean it can't happen.

So I think the first thing is that you have to be patient and know that anytime you're trying to, even if you're trying to masturbate for the first time, you're trying to figure out your G spot, you know, I had to figure it out on my own. It wasn't happening for me during SAC, during intercourse. So, just know that you've got to be patient and that is your ticket. Like, if you want to have a ticket to multiple O land, you might have to put in some time and that's okay. It's the journey because on the journey you're going to find that maybe your labia is really sensitive and there's other parts of you that really feel good, so that's okay.

And then I'll still remember that a big part of it is two. You want to be present and you want to stay in the moment the whole time you're figuring this out. But you also want to do this whenever you're... Like I think a lot of this is mostly for masturbation. So if you are masturbating, let's say you do your normal trick, your normal masturbation with team. So the present, you're okay, the multiple night might not happen this time, and you're breathing. You want to breathe deep, and you want to make sure you have your first orgasm. Knock it out. However you do it, have your orgasm. And then what you do is take a deep breath after that.

So just because you have an orgasm, you can take your hands off or the vibrator or whatever you're doing, and then start to like move your hands over other parts of your body, you can start touching your nipples, you can start touching around your clitters, you can rub like the inside of your thighs and just stay connected mentally and physically.

But don't, like stay connected to your body. Don't be thinking, is that gonna happen? Is that gonna happen? Stay, pay attention to the sensations, like even after the first orgasm. Don't like, I think that we have a habit of shutting down after it, because we've always been done after the first one.

So just pay attention to what's happening after that orgasm, breathe, you know, you don't have to keep touching and then to keep touching your clitoris. And then, you know, think about your clitoris. And then think about your clitoris. Think about what could feel good to you. So that is the focal point for a lot of women like to where they have the orgasm.

So if you explore new techniques for stimulating your stuff, through indirect touch, like I said, like other parts of the clitoris, varying your positions. Like for me, I know that I can have them, but then I can have my clitorial orgasm. But then there's like my labia, and there's like, it's not, it's very complex.

So know you're clitoris, become clitoris about your own body. Get a mirror. Take a look. Actually, next time you're doing this, you could have me, check out your clitoris. This is amazing, you guys. If you have a mirror when you're masturbating, and you look at your bike before and after,

even when you're starting, it's really hot. But then you're like, oh, there's my clippers. And then you see after even orgasm becomes swell, the cup becomes more engorged. Ter, I don't love the word engorged, which I'm gonna say, it doesn't sound sexy, but it does. It becomes a gorge.

Okay, I guess it could be how you're engorged. See, seeing the contraction, so true. The contraction is actually pretty cool. Right, when you have an orgasm, you watch the contractions and you see like, oh my god, that's happening. And then you start to take your fingers and then you can kind of see where you're going.

And you can kind of rub around and then play with like pressures and play with different strokes. Maybe you want like a lighter touch. Maybe you want a vibrator or the, or you can use a sex toy, you guys. If you normally have it one way, you could try, you know, a toy, you could try a G-spot toy,

you could try a, any you could try a G-Spot toy, you could try any kind of clitoral toy, magic wand, I know for me, is like a personal record. I think it was like 23 orgasms. That's insane. And amaze, I mean, I think I ever made it out that night. I mean, how would you be? Like, how would your legs even work after that?

I won, I won, it was fun though. I was like, I don't think I want to make it to dinner. Sounds like a great time. It was a good time, I got to though. I don't think I want to make it to dinner. Sounds like a great time. I was a good time. I got to say, I'm like, I'm not missing anything right now. So really it's about teasing yourself, breathing, and knowing that it can happen. Working your keglem muscles. Very important, you guys.

Your keglem muscles are responsible for your orgasm. Those are the muscles that are contracting. So when your doctor tells you or when I tell you strength in your pelvic floor, that's what we mean. Do your kegles. I have an iPhone app called KeagleCamp, you can download it, and you can try that. It can remind you, you can buy kegel balls, we have some on our website.

KeagleCagle, I like mixing it up. Yeah, yeah, so. I know what I like to do, is I like to use the womanizer, but I think I like to do, like, I'll use the womanizer to get the first one, and then I'll use my hands after to get the next one. I like to do like, I'll use the womanizer to get the first one and then I'll use my hands after to get the next one. I like kind of like- Because you already warmed up.

Yeah, I've done that too because you're already going. That's great. You could use the vibrator for the first one and then see like, what else feels good? Oh, the other tip, definitely use loop. Yeah, oh. Have you not heard that I'm obsessed with loop? Um, why do you say, wherever you've been my whole life. But um, you know, and just like, change your mindset about it.

Like, know that it can happen and it will happen if you just have patients and you breathe and you just explore. And so all the things I talk about, the masturbation doesn't excite you, maybe a goal oriented, like, let me see, we'd also like an experiment with, to have more pleasure. So, and nipple orgasms, also very popular, you guys. If you have not had one, it doesn't mean that you can't have one. So, another fun thing is just like playing with your nipples and you lubed, like after you have an orgasm, go up there because the clitoris and the nipples,

both the same part of your brain, they said, what is signals, the same part of your brain that's responsible for orgasm. The clitoris and the breast, the nipple share the same part of the brain. I have so much trouble trying to verbalize that as well. I can never, I always say it right. Yes. No, it's so hard to say it. The same part of your brain is responsible for both,

which is why nipple orgasm is really common and popular. It's possible for a lot of them, but they just don't know because they don't spend enough time touching it. So these are all the paths to pleasure you guys. Multiple, if you have any more questions about it, you can totally call us, you can call us about anything. But I think you'll be amazed at all the pleasure that your body can deliver. You just by having a little patience and a little fun

and taking some breaths and making your pleasure or a priority. Whether in a relationship or out of a relationship, your pleasure should be a priority, especially your sexual health and pleasure. And, yeah, so if you have more questions, you can also use some stuff on our website about multiple organisms, check it. There's a really cute video. Emily does a sex hack. I do.

Okay, great. Do that. Check that out. Triple eight nine four seven eight two seven seven. Okay, let's talk to the people. We have Tristan, who's 36 in California. He wants to know how you can get his fiance to make the move on him for a change. Oh, hey Tristan, I hear you. Hey, how you doing? I'm good. How are you? Yeah, right? I'm coming up on my year anniversary tomorrow. Oh, how many years?

One year. One year. Oh, happy anniversary. I hope it was a good year. Thank you. Okay, so you want her? That's right. Good. Good, good, good. So has she ever initiated before? No. Okay, so here's the thing. Oh, we've... Yeah. A lot of women just never do. We're used to men doing it. It was never part of our thing. So she probably doesn't know how. Really, like she could, like she could think about it, but it's like, might be scary to her. She wouldn't know where to start her. She just doesn't think like that. So what you could do is tell her, well, first of all,

back up, have you guys ever talked about your sex life? Oh, yeah. We've talked about it. We thought about it. OK, so have you ever said to her what, that's good. Have you ever told her that what, that's good. Have you ever told her that you thought it'd be really hot if she initiated?

Oh yeah, really good. And it doesn't happen. So here's why. She needs to know what that looks like for you. So Tristan, it might be as simple as like, you kiss my neck, but tell her specifically what it looks like, because she might be going, oh, I forgot again, I'm not in the mood.

I didn't know like it becomes stressful, which I know my team still in you, because you're like, I've been doing it all year long. But for women, yeah, right, yeah, but it's really common. I get this question a lot. So this is my best solution for you is just to like tell her specifically what do you know? What it would look like for you? Yes, I have an idea. Okay. Would you feel comfortable telling her?

Oh, yeah, definitely. Okay, so that's I don't know why I don't know why I have it like because we have any relationship or I'm the dumb and You know, we have all our toys with stuff like that, but I've I've backed off from that so much. Why? In a sense, I got tired of doing all the work. Oh, oh, I totally get it. Okay, so Tristan, I get it. So here's the thing, you're the dumb, you're doing all the thing.

She doesn't think of it as work. She just, her brain isn't there. She's never had to do the work that you're talking about. So this is a conversation about her like learning some new skills essentially and Without you when you have to talk with her you can't be like I do all the work Can't believe you don't even that's the dynamic that you set up right that you both set up So now it's like you have to tell her like you know it would make me feel really loved and really be such a turn on If I came home and

you were lying on the bed wearing this thing that I bought wearing the negligee and then you had the toys out and then you whatever it is. And then she'd have a script right and then you could see if she likes it. So that's all it is and you're you're already at the frustration point but just give her a little time here. And remember that like then you can ask her what turns her on. How does she like it when you initiate the most? And you guys can figure out what your next level is.

Make a plan on your anniversary. Why don't you guys write a sex plan for the year? What you guys want to try? Do a bucket list? Exchange. Say let's play a fun sex game. Let's eat right down three things you want to try in the next year, you know?

And like have fun. By next quarter we want to be, you know, I don't know what, you guys are doing anal. Swing in for the rafters. That's quarter, we want to be, you know, I don't know what you guys are doing, you know. Swing it for the rafters. That's a fun anniversary thing to do, I think. Figure out your sex plan. Prioritize pleasure this year. Yeah, Tristan, so there you go.

It's all gonna get better. This is your year. You're so welcome, happy anniversary. It's the best gift ever, I think. What else you want? Talk about your sex life on your anniversary in a really fun, positive way. Yeah, I like the idea of making like the sex plan for the year because then the whole year if you do set it up like quarterly or however

Then you know you're like, hey, would you guys join me for a sex plan course if we could talk on the phone and we could do a make your sex plan Would you follow through would you do that with me? AAA 947 827 or just emails You guys can always email us questions, feedback at sexwithemily.com. All right, let's talk to Melissa, his 53, met a guy online and he wants to jump right into sex before going out on a date. Oh, Melissa.

Hi. Hi. So tell me, yeah, what? Tell me everything. Well, so actually, so he's been on a project, and so he hasn't been in town for the last month. So we have been talking on the phone or in doing a lot of sex thing.

And I mean, he's really high about the things he likes to do or wants to do, and in he's constantly reaching out to me throughout the day or in the evening and that kind of thing. And he's like, when I wrap up this project, I'd love for the, I'd like to take you out and all of that. He gets, but I just feel like we've been through so much. He's like, can we just go ahead

and jump into the sex and then go out to dinner? And there's a part of me who's like, oh, I gotta, I would love to. But then there's a part of me who's like, okay, Michelle, you're being crazy. Yeah, no, I think, wait, and you've never met him, right? Right. Okay, right, you sent in an email, correct?

Yeah? Did you? Yeah, email, and I'm cell phones and all of that. Yeah, yeah, we got treatment, awesome. No, but I I think no you yeah, so wait listen this is our thing was I You said did you send us an email about this okay? That's gonna say we were gonna talk we loved your email and I'm so glad you called in so like here's a thing Melissa I think that you should go to dinner with him

It's more you have never met him and you've never met him Just remember that sexting and words are just a tiny part of the whole equation. Like, wick body language and actually seeing him in person and smelling him and the whole presence. And you gotta see if you actually are gonna want to have sex with them. And this is what people do. We escalate, we escalate, we text, sex, sex,

and you've never met. So no, to sex, you're for dinner. Not this time, go to dinner, see if you like him, meet him in a public place. You might feel totally different. So it feels really great that he asked that, but he's like, oh, that'd be great, but that'll have to be our dessert. Let's get dinner. That's what I think. Oh, that's a good idea. Okay.

Desert. Yeah. Get to know him. We can wait another through a meal. Yeah. And then let us know what happens. I want to see if he's still like this. I know. We're gonna say, you can wait an hour. Yeah. Exactly. We've never even met. Like, why do we gotta jump right to sex, right? No, I haven't bought you, get some dinner. Get some food and you see if you actually like this guy who's a great sex star. Believe me, I've dated many great textors slash sex star

and then I realized I liked them more on the phone than I did in person. That happens. Right. So, like, could you just go in the other room and text me? Okay, you're so welcome, Melissa. Let's, let's, let's, let's go, guys. We'll be here.

489478277, we like that. When she sent the email, we were gonna get to that. It's like, no, wait, go to dinner, you guys. Yeah. Meet someone. Remember, you guys, the sexting, you never met someone, you don't know anyone until you meet them. Even in general, like, like I said last night,

I wasn't really sure what to expect on the date I went on. And he was completely kind of different than I thought he was gonna be, which was, I mean good, was refreshing. I was like, oh, I actually had a nice time, but I didn't think he was gonna be, I don't know, just the person that he was. So you have to meet them.

Right, you have to. Like how, like different, like the way he looked or just everything, like, no, like kind of like, I don't know, I just had this this kind of pre, right, because you've been texting. Like barely though. So I didn't really know him that was,

so I was really just off his profile. So I was like, sure, he seems all right, but I don't know, but then when I met him, I was like, oh, you're actually like really cool. I just said different personality than I expected. Right, because people can't market themselves. Well, maybe you look marketed themselves well enough for you to like his profile

But and also what pictures of us is not who we are So it's just small part small part you guys. So remember I think it's always best to I think it's okay to have sex someone right away We all do it. We've all done it But I think the longer you can wait to actually have sex whether you're in a relationship or not Or it's the first time at the better it is for the relationship and for the sex. We all love a tease. We all love the drawing out of the sex and the tension. That can be some of the best part of sex.

All right, we're gonna take a quick break and we come back, we're on to your calls. So let's talk to Griffin 22 and Massachusetts. He decided to have sex with this girlfriend outside and his mom and dad pulled up and caught them. Oh, was it after I told hey Griffin? Hey there. How you doing? When did that happen? Well, oh my god, it was bad. It was really, really bad. Okay, tell me when. Alright, alright, so it happens, I would say a couple of weeks ago when the weather was very nice out and you know, we were having a lot of sex, so we want to, you know, make things interesting. So we were outside, you know, there weren't a lot of cars around, familiar neighborhood, So we are like all right. Let's get on top of the car

And let's make it interesting So I said all right. She's down for it. We get on top of the car and we start fucking and I'm near my house But you know thinking me like oh, you know, there'll be no problems and so I'm just on the top of the card naked fucking okay Yeah, so I'm going to town and all of a sudden my mom and my dad pull And they point right next to me And there and they're asking oh with what's going on and my dad's laughing and So hundreds I get off the car. I mean work out at this point right and my mom's yelling at me like Yeah, it you were in your driveway of your home

No, I was like I was like the street over Like so you're gonna get home. Oh The street over at night like I don't know where we go like and do another neighborhood I mean is that the street thing thing I know but still that's hello. I wasn't thinking at the time, but it was daytime Oh Oh, no, so what's it what happened? Gryff and your doubt laughing and your mom what? Well my mom is horrified because you know my penis was out that's never

you know no no what about your girlfriend what was your girlfriend doing uh... my girlfriend just completely got the car jumped into the car hiding in the put on a sweatshirt after you put on my sweatpants oh my god i would be dying i would be dead if my boy if i I, yeah, but good, but good on you for a little, little experimental. My dad yelled at me. My dad tried giving me hints after how I wasn't hitting

it right was the worst part after it. I love your dad. He's like son, son. Let me talk to about this. Don't do the jackhammer. That doesn't feel good to her when you are hamming her way like that. Well, you gave me credit because I was using protection at least. Oh, there you go. Points for protection. I got it, thumbs up.

I don't want it, thumbs up. Yeah, yeah, Griffin, you did good. I love the Griffin product condom for the outdoor spontaneous sex, but you know, next time I guess we'll make decision thoughts at the neighborhood. That is an amazing story, I love it that is so great so your dad's amazing but really I guess you got to be more and know father like

son like father like son he gave you some tips oh my god Griffin that's a great so how's your girlfriend doing is she recovered because I know if I was what I'd be like mortified I think at first this little hard-fying and it was probably the last time whatever it fuck outside, but I mean, but nice and experience is great experience. Okay, that was a great, and we joined it too. I feel like we were there with you.

So now thank you for passing that along. You made our night. Oh, no problem. No problem. I mean, it was interesting. It was actually one of the best, you know, one of our best times is having sex. I mean, it was interesting. It was it was actually one of the best, you know, one of our best times is having sex. I mean, it was warm out. I was feeling good. I'm,

I mean, I'm with the child. I know she loved it. So maybe I didn't get the finished with the problem, but my parents saw my penis, but. But yeah, but, but, um, but I love it. It's going to be a good story. I'll never forget it. So, you know, I'll never forget it. Either. I mean, don't let it stop you from having said crazy doing wild things. So, you know, and I'll never forget it either. I mean, don't let it stop you from having said crazy doing wild things, but, you know, now you've got something else to try. What's next on the bucket list? Well, we've already fucked inside of a chile before, but inside of a chile? Like in the bathroom or just, no, I know the restaurant. Now I'm never going to eat there again, but that's cool. But that's cool.

OK, well, you guys sound fun. Just, you know, be safe. Keep calling us. You got you. Do Griffin, 22-year-old man. This is good, Griffin. We're all learning a lot from you. We all need to keep it interesting at all age at every time

and every stage of the relationship. And it's not that hard. Just don't get caught. Of course, I'm in my prime right now. You are, man. I got to go get it. Yeah course, I'm in my prime right now. You are, man. I gotta go get it. Yeah, Griffin.

Griffin, do it with you. Grab your condoms and just fly into the universe and do you. He's like a superhero. That's right. All right, Griffin, thanks for calling. You're the best. Call us back. Keep us posted.

Triple eight, nine, four, seven, eight, two, seven, seven. I love that story. Oh my God. I can see the dad like son, you know, son really. You're not hitting it right. That's funny. Oh man, because we were, I was afraid because yesterday we were talking about fetish fantasies people have. We were talking about sex in public. That was our whole thing that we did a little segment on it. And then I thought, holy shit, Griffin did it last night and he got caught. But he was doing it before us.

Yeah. That's a great story. All right, let's talk to Sheree, 51 in Nevada. And she's got a question about selfish lovers. Sheree, what's going on? Tell me. Hey. Hey.

Hi. Well, OK, thank you. Thank you. I enjoy your show. Thank you very much. Of course. The problem I have is I've been dating the guy for nearly five years and he's very selfish. reciprocate oral, I tell him the moves that I enjoy that will allow me to have an orgasm. He's done it once. I was reminded of, oh I really love it when you do that.

I really love it when you do this. And he may or may not do it. Most times he won't, but I'm very giving out whatever it takes to make him, you know, probably get better. Right. And no, I get it. Oh, long to the day. Yeah. Of course. Well, I got it. So Sherry, here's what the deal. So this is a really just so you know, like this happens a lot, right? You're like, I told him, I told him, and like, why wouldn't you do it?

He loves me. So here's the thing, he just does it even though you've told him. I think you got to talk about it. I know you have to talk to him about it in a way that he can actually hear. Like not just a one time thing, but like an outside the bedroom,

where you're like, listen, I really love you and our relationship, but I feel that I feel so much more turned on and attracted to you when you go down on me. It feels so good when you do this thing with your tongue. And I know that you know that because I've told you, and I'm just wondering, I feel like I need it. I require it. For play, not just suggested or requirement. So I'm curious if you have ideas around why is there a reason maybe why that doesn't happen as much or tell me your thoughts about it. How do you feel about that? That's what I need. Well, I find that most of the, well, this is how it will go.

It's like for play. It's like he enjoys me going down, so I do it. I enjoy it also. Okay, but not as much. Sorry, keep going. All the time is doing that. Okay, that's a lot of time. And then there's, you know, we have sex, and then it's over.

So do you not have orgasms? I've had one. In five years? Yes. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. There's an orgasm deficit going on. We need to feel it.

Sherry. I know. I enjoy everything else, but he's only... What else? I know. I'm going to, but he's only... What else? You know, brought me to connect one by one. He does it, okay, I'm gonna give him the benefit of that, right? I'm gonna give you, he's like a lot of men. He doesn't know.

Like literally, he's never had a woman in his life share the information with him that women do not orgasm mostly during intercourse, only 20% do. Like, I just, I feel like that's why, unless he's just, I mean, then I'm going to say, is he selfish and other, is there other ways in the relationship that this feels familiar to you? Yes. Okay. Look, for example.

Um, give, I so speak like that. Give giving, um, he doesn't go all out, but enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. Right, right. So he's selfish a little bit. He doesn't really take care of your, he doesn't, he doesn't take care of your needs. No.

You don't feel nurtured by him. No. Right. So it's kind of like all, it's all the things. So I don't know if it's just about the sex, but it's not and how long have you guys been together? Nearly five years. You said five years.

Yeah, you said five years. And it's been happening. So have you ever had any talks? Is this your guy? Like you're with them forever? Whatever that means, there's a long time. Yeah. Well, I was like, forever.

No, I get it. I enjoy having, I mean, he's just like, guy and everything. I love him. But, and like I said, we have fun. We have a good time. I enjoy having sex with him. Right. Okay, so maybe he just needs some little, like, We have a good time. I enjoy having sex with him. Right.

Okay, so maybe he just needs some little like, like, I think he just needs some reminders here about, about what, like, here's the thing. He, there's information he doesn't have. And that is it, like, that's for play. Like, it's, and I, and I agree, like, Sherry, I came here, like, your generation, like, we, we just gave blow jobs. Like, that's what we did. I didn't expect oral sex and return most men We're not offering it up, but it's a new time now, Sherry and we required like all the studies and science and like women The we are told and men believe it too not their fault really This is what we see that penetration is the mess. We're at that's the main act the main act is when his penis goes inside of you And oh my god, because that's the main act for them because women didn't know how to speak up as much about it So I think that there's just going to have to be like,

I talk with them, you let them know, like, I require these things, like, like, oral and foreplay. Like, I do too. I'm actually, it makes me, and when you do it, I feel so good. So you're not like saying, why haven't you? And I'm mad and why don't you know this? But you encourage him.

Let him know that it turns you on. It's actually something that's like an ideal, but like, you need, you require it. For a play, or a loan, like you could say, and let me know what else you might need for me, but like I think it's time five years in that we really have a great, I was driving along, listening to the show, and she was talking about couples

and communication, how important it is for them to talk about their sex life all the time. But I realized we haven't talked about it much. So I started thinking about what we could do, and you know, make it, even take it to the next level, and here's some thoughts. What do you think? What are your ideas?

And then you might have to have it again next week. Don't be afraid to keep having these conversations with them if he's your guy. You might as well figure out if he can give you what you've been giving to him because you deserve it. And you will find someone who demands they go down on you. Like they'll be like, I am not even putting my penis anywhere near you until I go down to you for 20 minutes. Exactly.

That's what I want. Right, you should have that. You should have that. I, you should all have that. I, you're like, do everything for him. I know. So he just is that lazy. He doesn't have to think he has to. No one's ever given consequences. I know. So he just got lazy. He doesn't have to think he has to.

No one's ever given consequences. No one's ever called him on it. Maybe his mom took care of everything. You know, you're taking care of everything. I don't know, but he just, I just like to give him the benefit of the doubt that we've grown up in a certain time in societal norms and no one ever called it out. And he's not listening to the show when he doesn't get it.

So let's just try it out. Try some like, no, and but don't get like a polygenic. I'm sorry, because you're pleaser. It sounds like so my, so I know. Like it's weird and awkward to state for what we take some while. Like you got to learn to set boundaries and ask for what you want. But you, I'm telling you, girl, you deserve this. And you got to, you haven't had it for five years.

One more guys. I'm like I don't even know like I need you to move. I need you to have this conversation today. I know. Yeah, you can call me back. You can just do the first step because it's going to be hard. I'm telling you not hard, but like it you don't often have these conversations. Most people don't, but just know that just once you start you can't mess it up by speaking

your truth and how it feels. And don't worry about hurting his feelings. I did say something. You did. Okay, that's where it is. I did say something and that was really difficult for me to do and I felt good that I said it, but there's nothing changed. Well, because we don't, you know why?

Nothing changes. No, we don't make behavioral changes based on one suggestion from someone. Like, you know, many friends told me that I should meditate before I did or maybe you should take a yoga You know like like go to the gym or eat healthy like I know I shouldn't be eating gluten or whatever it is you told him once Any change or twice but to actually change behavior You need to do some more explaining to him Sheree where you're like this is why it makes me feel good I actually that's how I get turned on.

It makes me feel loved from you. Maybe you guys could take the love language quiz and see, because it sounds like gifts is one for you. And the love language quiz takes. We did it. Okay, so then go over the results. Listen, people, well, so you know what? He's not, for whatever reason,

he's not prioritizing your pleasure and he needs to. And you're gonna find out soon enough if you are strong and have this conversation, but in a loving way, and you see if anything changes for give them a month from now, because then you'll be in it for five more years. And I want I can't wait that long for another orgasm. Okay. Okay. Okay. Sure. Keep me posted. I'll be here. Thank you. Let me know. Alright. So Mike who's 52 new Jersey wrote, I've heard you talk plenty of times about the Kiven method.

There's one thing I get confused about. When I lay perpendicular to her, am I looking left to right as in clit to perennium or up and down, labia, clit, labia, or better yet, north to south or east to west, with her head being north. Thank you and love your show. God. Thank you, Mike. Okay.

We've talked a lot about the Kevin method on the show and that we've had wild results. Crazy. People are like, oh my God, it's an amazing sex method that we actually have it on our Instagram and the saved and the saved stories. Doesn't say like Kevin method or oral sex method. But here's the deal, Mike.

I get it. A few people were confused about this. Basically, essentially, you're looking from labia to labia. So essentially, your tongue itself is going up and down, but it's side by side on her, if that makes sense. So you're looking like you're looking up and down labia, clit labia. Yes.

It's not clit to butt, clit to perinium. Perinium, it's labia, clit labia. So it's like a windshield wiper across. So that would be east to west if her head is north. I'm so bad at that. I know we're all bad at geography. I was like, oh shit, north. Her head is north, her feet are south. Yes. But you are licking east to west. I think we all got that. Yes. On the clitoris. So this is the best, I'm telling you, it's because when your tongue is swiping

over all those swiping, swiping. It's a swish swash, I'm swiping over the, swishing, swapping, and swishing over the, that's what it's doing. It's like a swish, it's like a lick, lick, swish swishing. It's like a swish. It's like a lick, lick, lick, swish. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Your tongue's all swishing around. West, east, east, west, whatever. What if? It feels amazing because you're hitting all these nerve endings that I always talk about about the clitoris, which is 8,000 nerve endings. It's not just that little bulb, it's also in the labia because when you're licking the labia,

remember that there's clitoral legs that extend down in the inner's also in the labia because when you're licking the labia, remember that there's clitoral legs that extend down in the inner and behind the labia. So, it's like a wishbone. So, if you are licking, if you're going labia, clit, labia, essentially, you're going clit, clit, clit because the labia can also be the clitoral nerves. So, you're just, you're, you're, it's a larger swath with your swipe.

That's what it is. So I hope that clarifies it for all of you. And now if you want to know about the Cuban method, you can go to secredentley.com or you can just go to our Instagram and watch me perform it. I'm the Volvo puppet. I perform it on the Volvo puppet

that we have in here for teaching purposes. All right guys, I hope you enjoyed this show. Thanks everyone for listening and for participating and for telling all your friends about the show. Because come on, they need help as well, right? Thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you?

Email me feedback at sexwithmly.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪