Sex With Emily - New Year, Better Sex

Episode Date: January 9, 2015

In Emily’s first podcast of 2015, she’s making her New Year’s resolution all about you. She and Menace answer your questions on love and sex that you sent to [e-mail] - Topics include trying out sex toys with a significant other, balancing a sex life and busy schedules, dating someone with a crazy family and jealousy after infidelity. They share some secrets for making a relationship work, and stress the importance of compromise in intimate relationships.  Emily explains why you should address issues as they pop up, and teaches you how to communicate your way to be better sex and relationships. All this and more in the latest podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We are starting off the new year by answering your emails that you sent at feedback at sexwiththemely.com. We've got a long year ahead of us and my goal is to give you the guidance you need to have better sex and relationships. So thanks everyone for listening to the show and I'm going to tell you about things that will prove your sex life. You know, I only tell you about products and things that will help you. So let me tell you about Jezou. They make high quality premium sex toys. They're all rechargeable, waterproof,

powerful. Do I say powerful? Powerful. Powerful. And designed to hit her in all the right places. And you can play with them together. So, they have, and they're all like just, you wouldn't even know that like if you're into like your iPhone and you love the way it comes packaged, it kind of comes packaged like an iPhone. Like it has all these really cool chargers and it's, they're just high tech, they're cool. And you can use it with your partner. They have, you guys have heard me talk about the J-Jew. It's Mimi for years. It's amazing.

It's a great one to use during intercourse, literal stimulation. But my new favorite, sorry Mimi, is the Mio. It's a penis ring, but it's a penis ring like no others, okay? So it's one size fits mouth, go around his penis, you wear it during sex, it's a really powerful vibe. And I'm just telling you this because I actually, to be honest, had a really good experience with it this weekend. I used to be four, but now I really got into it. Life vibrations are so intense, he loves vibrations. They feel great on his areas. Plus it's not only a penis ring. You can take it off wherever on your fingers and use it anywhere you want on the body and it's just

the coolest toy. They've got the Fifi, which is a dual stimulation for a clitoris and G-spot and I'm just SUPSESS with these toys. I've been talking about them for years and I love them. So check them out. They are next level sensations and also their beautifully packaged and discrete leave them, so check them out. They are next-level sensations. And also, they're beautifully packaged and discrete. Leave them out. No one knows that they are mini orgasm machines. So just use code Emily. And you get 10% off your purchase at jju.com. That's j-e-j-o-u-e.com.

Use coupon code Emily for 10% off. Thanks for listening. I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say anything. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them a lie on me. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kinda cute.

The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god!

I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemle.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up for our mailing list, which you should do a lot of you have been doing that lately and I've been getting great feedback and I love Senio send you a newsletter once a week with some important tips and tick Ticks and tick no ticks and trips to I don't want any ticks dude menace. I haven't talked. I know

I know it's happy new around this one. Oh, yeah, you make me so nervous. I'm here with menace. Hi This is our first show 2015 happy for you new year. It's crazy and Thanks for all the people hitting me up on Twitter and Instagram and all that This is our first show 2015 happy for a new year. It's crazy and Thanks for all the people hitting me up on Twitter and Instagram and all that saying that they're excited that I'm here I love I don't know you know if I give any good feedback or input on the show But I think they just like that I you know I poke yeah poke at you and I know you make a reveal stuff that I Maybe and you give me shit about stuff that isn't even relevant anymore, but that's cool. You guys are entertained by him poking fun at me. That's awesome. And you do give good advice from time to time. Um, no, but I'm happy to see you.

And I hope this is going to be a great year. I feel good about it. I really am. I feel like a different person actually. I took time off. so did you, what we can say? Honestly, no, I got a whole different vibe from you when I saw you today that you're a different person. Because usually, when I see you before a show, it's just like this crazy Tasmanian devil mess of a person, even though I still love you. But just like all over the place, you know? And now you just seem like really focused and relaxed. I don't know what the hell's going on,

but just keep on doing that. I am, I am. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. And I have to say, well, I finally took some time off. I went away for almost like 10 days with my family, which normally people go with their families and get any notification from the vacation,

but you know, family family's pretty chill. Yeah. I went to Florida. I was with my mom for five days at her place, and then I went to my brother in South Beach with my nieces. Have you ever been in South Beach? I haven't, but I... It's crazy. It's like Vegas on steroids.

No, Orlando is not. The rest of Florida is all interesting. That's where always other weird thing people cut off people's heads and find it floating in swamps and stuff. Or they do weird shit. But let me tell you about Miami. It's like South Beach is kind of like Las Vegas, but it's kind of like, I mean, really everyone's beautiful working out. Like it's very, I mean, it's kind of materialistic and everyone like it's about the nightclubs and like everyone's really flashy and but it was a freaking great time around the beach. the beach, I went running every day, and the other thing is, I've been meditating twice a day. I've always been in done meditation

like I've learned meditation about 10 years ago, but it never was part of my day-to-day practice as I always wanted to be. And it's every day, twice a day for 20 minutes. And I seriously think it's really helping me be clear and focused, and I feel relaxed. I think also, I seriously think it's really helping me be clear and focused. And I feel relaxed. I think also, I mean, most of all, it's really just the time off because I haven't had

a vacation in a million years. So it was good. That's right. And I'm so excited about everything this year and about the shows because this is actually going into our 10th year of doing sex family. I mean, we kind of started in 2005. Yeah. 2005. And so I've been thinking, yeah, 2005, and 2005.

And so I've been thinking, I actually just created a survey because I wanna hear, like this year, I know you like the shows that I love that you've all been listening, but I wanna take them to the next level and I want you all to be really happy and I wanna hear from you.

So it's a survey that I'm gonna be tweeting out, you know, putting on my website, putting the news that are all that stuff, however you find me, it's sex with Emily across the board on Facebook and Instagram, Twitter. And it just like takes you like three minutes to answer a few questions about what they want to hear, what they like, what they don't like, what you like about menace, all that stuff. Or you don't like about menace?

And I think it'll help us make better shows. Good. So I feel good. How about you, menace? I'm great. I'm loving living here in LA as I've said in past podcasts, doing a morning show. For some reason though, even though our morning show's

doing really well, I have one year left on my contract. So I don't know what's up, you know, up after 2015. Wow. Who knows? Have you been here, you're yet? About nine months. Wow. Yeah. Oh my god. Okay, so. I, we're yet? About nine months. Wow.

Oh my God, okay so. So, we're getting amazing support on the show that I do. The Woody show? The Woody show, yeah, on Altman 877 if you live in LA. But can't think, it's a podcast too, no? Yeah, you just search the Woody show on anything. We don't, we don't. It's not about boners.

Yeah, it's not about boners or sex, you're not gonna learn how to, you know, pick up women or anything like that. If you're really in a pop culture and talking about all kinds of stuff. But you don't know if it'll get renewed. So, yeah. You never knew. So, yeah.

So, right now, 2015 is just about having fun and, you know, doing the best that I can. He always had fun though. You're in Vegas or Disneyland. Yeah. You guys should all just follow menace on Instagram. If only just to see that he's either in Disneyland or Las Vegas, like every day and he's the hardest working person I know and I'm not sure how he does all of that. He's menace, right?

Yeah, just menace, and ACE, which is funny. So you're talking about traveling over the holidays. I went back to San Francisco, visit family, but on Christmas day I flew straight to Hawaii to Wahoo and I went all over the island and believe it or not I was walking out a restaurant with my girlfriend and then about five minutes later I get a notification on my Instagram saying that hey I'm a sex with Emily listener I just saw you outside the restaurant I wish I could have got a photo and I wrote them back I'm like why did you say? They're like, oh, it was too late.

I was like, I couldn't believe it. I said, Stephanie, listen and why. That's so cool. Well, no, sex with Emily, listen, you know, that's awesome, men. It's you're so recognizable too. That's, yeah, this is really weird. I don't think that I am, but.

You know, you are. You've got the look. And you're on billboards, I've heard. Besides, I know your glasses, your thing, your menacisms, your menacisms. That's funny. I know I get bummed because there are a bit of a few times where I've been out and we're like,

I just saw sex with Emily, like I remember what time I was like at Forever 21 or something. And this is when it was like a few years ago. And so I was like, I just saw sex with Emily. I'm like, why don't people think they can't say hi? Like we're like some, like no paparazzi, no hallo. I was like, I would love you if you like the show and you listen.

Oh my god. Say hi, please. Say hello. I felt so bad because I would love to talk to the person. But that's so cute. How they're doing. They recognize you. If you like the show and you listen, oh my god. Hi, please. Say hello. I felt so bad because I would love to talk to the person. But that's so cute. How they're doing. They recognize you. Yeah, that was really cool. So we were on a television show together too. Yeah. On the TV. On the TV, which was a good times. Yeah. And so this show, so many of us, you know

how we love hearing from our people. We're going to be answering your emails. We've been getting so many great emails lately. So feedback at sexwithendly.com and man our Facebook page is blowing up. People love our Facebook.com slash sex with Emily Page because we put up really useful tips and tricks and all that stuff on there and people ask questions through there as well. So, you can do it that way. And so, these are some of the topics we're going to cover. And then also, sex and the news, of course. How to get your girlfriend interested in sex toys? I'm going to listen to this one. Sex tips for busy newlyweds,

a guy can't stand as girlfriend's family, jealousy, out of practice with sex and just not having enough sex. Those are some of the topics we're going to cover on the show. And also, what else do I have to say here? Okay, what's going on? Sex in the news. Oh, no, first, I want to say one thing. All right. I this weekend weekend coming up, or next weekend, I'm going to be at the Sexual Health Expo, which is in Los Angeles, January 17th and 18th, and it's 20 bucks, gets two people in free,

and it is the very first of its kind, and it's an expo. Two days, people can come, the leading sex experts in the country that I've learned from are going to be their teaching workshops. All the latest and greatest products, toys, there's going to be party. You should come. You should be at party night, awards ceremony, and I'm giving the keynote on Sunday.

Wow. It's going to be really cool. Wow. I'm going to give you two. Yeah, and it's just going to be really cool. So I would love to meet you all and just come and say hi. And I think I know, because I was checking out the panels at sexualhuffxpo.com. And it's, I'm really impressed actually. Because when they first asked me like nine months ago, I was like checking out the panels, it's sexualhathxpo.com, and it's, I'm really impressed actually,

because when they first asked me like nine months ago, I was like, yeah, okay, I never heard of this, because it's the first one. But now it's like everyone's talking about it, and it's really gonna be a special, cool, informative, super fun event. And you might get laid. Who knows, everyone's gonna be have sex on their mind.

They're rules. Yeah. Okay, sex in the news, menace, the window for online dating is now. Okay. So if you resolved to find love in 2015, I've got some bad news for you. Your window of opportunity may be a whole lot smaller than you think. According to forecast from Maths.com and plenty of fish, two of the country's largest dating

sites, the single most popular time for online dating, the window when the most people sign up log on, poke around will be January 4th, from roughly 5 to 8 p.m. Zeus, which is another dating. Oh yeah, I had some friends hooked up off of that. I guess people just do them all now, right? Yeah, I was like on Zeus. These are, yeah. They're on everything. Everything, why not, right?

They say that it's the most traffic time was on Sunday after New Year. So in terms of, so it says that in terms of the number of fish in the sea, it's all downhill from there. Exaggeration matches 2.4 million North American users and plenty of fish is 90 million worldwide. So you can finally find a date. But across the board, dating sites see way more action between New Year's and Valentine's day than any other time of year. So you've got like two months right now.

So millions of people like New Year's, but it's kind of hard waking up that day for New Year's. This isn't even allowing for you, you get up at 3 a.m. But I mean, it's freaking rough that first day back and everyone wants to talk to you because everyone puts everything off in December, but everyone's like constantly going back to work and now they're like, I'm gonna go online and date. So I guess that it says that, oh, there's also a spike in post-holiday searches for porn.

I'm sure. Everyone's searching for porn. And it also has to do with the drearious of the winter months. And wait a minute. So this is- There was probably a lot of breakups during the holidays. And then they were looking into porn. Okay, exactly.

Because that's a good breakup time because people don't wanna buy gifts and stuff like that, you know? Totally. So then they're online, you can't afford it. Exactly, I always think that people break up over the holidays because yeah, they don't wanna buy gifts or whatever breakups, the dumping season is kind of more like spring. That really? Yeah, but I don't know you don't want to like sometimes if you're like I'm kind of new to this person

Not like you really want to go to their families. I want to start a new year and new life without you clear everything Do you mean resolutions? now I don't really I mean we actually, some friends of mine, we're talking about reflections, you know, instead of resolutions, like reflecting on things and how you can make things better the next year, but not like saying, oh, we're gonna, you know, do this or do that, you know? Yeah, that's good, kind of, because reflections. Reflections. The thing about resolutions is if you just say something like, I'm going to quit smoking

or I'm going to find love, it's so you have to have goals. You have to have measurable and strategic goals that you're like, I'm going to go on three dates a week or I'm going to approach the people online so you can have it measurable. That's how you're going to succeed with your resolution. But if you just say, I'm going to lose weight, it's not going to happen. It's going to be fine love, it won't happen, but you've got to change your behavior so these things are more likely to happen. I think one thing I'm going to do that I did set a goal was

I'm gonna be on this radio station Santa Cruz like on the weekends. Oh you are? Yeah but I can do it from that way. No way that you're on little show? Big show? I don't mean little. No, no it's like a little...

Oh it's so cute, cute, cute, little... No it's like a, I'm just playing music and then talking over the music. That's awesome, nothing big. Okay, that's fun. So hopefully that comes together. I already talked to them and everyone said okay, so hopefully. Half Moon Bay station?

No, not half Moon Bay. What kind of Santa Cruz? Why do you think half Moon Bay? Yeah, well it's pretty close to half Moon Bay. So that's really cool. So if you're listening to Santa Cruz, I might be on a stage. What's the reason you can't say? Not yet, no.

Oh jeez, why do you always do that? You always drop things and then not really dropping them. You can't hate it. That's cool, I'm happy for you. Follow me on Twitter. It's funny because people love you met like men You've been on the radio for like 10 like in San Francisco too. Everyone's like here with men The people who just tune in or they don't know like oh you work with menists like they all know you from the you're online What is it radio and in San Francisco about how maybe 16 years. Oh my God.

Yeah. It's crazy and you're so young. Okay. The one thing I was going to say before I finished the article on Facebook about dating is that you'll like this, menace, because we used to have a thing. We used to talk about changing your relationship status and how I'm against it always. Yeah. People don't need to know your biz.

But it says that people are far more likely to change their relationship status in January or February than they are at any other time of year. Yeah, they're probably coincides. I mean, a lot of people probably get together with somebody around Valentine's Day. Like, I screwed up once when I was in high school. I got with the girl. I think I've probably talked about this on a show before since we've done it together so long. But if you heard it for the first time, here you go.

I hooked up with this girl a week before Valentine's Day in high school, and then on Valentine's Day, she got me a bunch of stuff, and I'm like, we've only really been together a week, I wasn't expecting anything. Didn't get anything. Dude, your mom's a florist. I know.

Dude, how hard is that? Totally screwed up. How did you screw that up? I feel like you're like 16-year-old kids. I was like sophomore and high school. I know, guys always mess that stuff up. I know what's messed up too is because, for some reason I don't know why I didn't get flowers

that time, but my mom would always hook me up. She would give me like giant bags of like single roses and I'll give them out to all the girls at school. Oh my God, that's sweet. If I loved it. The pimps, yeah. Dude, that is so pimped. That used to be my high school.

You could pay a dollar. It was a good thing. And you give them like, and then they cut the cheerleaders or whatever would come around and deliver them to the room. And you're so happy. And like a guy would send you all. Like some girls. I would just have like crazy roses.

So like all the girls that didn't get a rose that day would hook them up, you know. The stormy rose. You've always just had such a big heart, really. Truly, you break them a rose. You're like, here's a rose and she didn't get anything else. Okay, so here's the more about some porn and the holiday spirit.

A lot of people took some time out from all the presents and food to watch some porn over Christmas. Yes, because we are a very Christian culture and a sexual culture. Let's see. According to Pornhub's annual release of their search and traffic results over the festive period, they say that people were searching for it, but if it makes you feel any better

about abandoning family time in favor of masterbending alone in your room on December 25th, at least porn lovers got into the festive spirit. So you know that milk is like the top search term on? It is why. Always. I know you're like, I don't want to bang someone. No, but it's true. It's always milk.

Well now people were searching. Here's the naughty Santa's helper. That was the number one search term. All right, so we must have brought that up. It could smell out of the way. What? So it must have brought that up in like pop culture or something like that.

No. Then people search. There. Then people started searching. There's a list of them. Listen, it makes sense because when else are you going to look for sands or related porn. But it's a heck of a lot weird to try it out in mid-June and also on the list, a lot of step relative related incest searches because Chris is the time for extending family coming over. That's kind of disturbing.

Except if they're coming over and overstaffed, which probably doesn't refer to how you feel after eating too much turkey gross. Wow. I know like oh sexy stepdad, like, but here's the album mentioned. So not only were they searching for Santa's help, are Christmas F, they were searching for just Christmas F. Yeah. Mrs. Clause, so people want to see Mrs. Clause getting double penetrated apparently or something. And black Santa. People who are looking for a multicultural Christmas. Wow. Yeah, black Santa, well they're thinking, you know, he might have a nice shlong or something. I do have another theory too.

I think a lot of people probably got electronic devices for the holidays like an iPad or you know, a Kindle fire, like some new phone. So they're probably testing out what the porn looks like on their or new gadget. Exactly. You know, you used to like open up Yahoo or whatever. Yeah, no, no. It's like, how's my porn looking?

Yeah, how's the U-Porn? Is it crisp and clear on my new device or what? I know, exactly. Well, I'm glad that everyone got into the holiday spirit somehow. But you know, here's the thing about serving for porn. It's like, and we've talked about this. know exactly. Well, I'm glad that everyone got into the holiday spirit somehow. But, you know, here's the thing about serving for porn. It's like, and we've talked about this. And men and women do too, but for guys, why would they take time off? They do it every day usually, and it has nothing to do with if they're in a relationship or not. You're

going to need some release and they do it. So there's nothing really wrong with that. It's not like Christmas. You can't do it. It's not like the land, I guess, if you give up something, but it's, it's fine. Keep your habits like Christmas, you can't do it. It's not like the land, I guess, if you give up on something, but it's fine. Keep your habits going that make you happy. And that's it's obsessive and you have a problem with it and then we'll talk. Okay, there are seven people who had worse sex than you in 2014.

All right. These are all like the top news stories when we hear all the weird things, people getting stuff stuck in their vagina. Oh, yeah. The woman, number seven, the woman who had a sex toy inside her for 10 years. Yes.

I don't know how she didn't know that. The teen who simulated oral sex with a Jesus statue. Oh, not good. Not good. Anyone who tried to get better at oral sex by licking their phone and app claimed it could improve oral sex scales, all people had to do was lick their phones. God. Dude, wouldn't that ruin your phone?

The saliva? I don't think it would ruin it. Okay, so you're licking your phone and it's like measuring your... Dude, that is not how you learn how to give a blood job or all sex. You need to listen to sex with them. You fall for that stuff all the time. That's hilarious, yeah. Like charge your phone in the microwave and then explode.

Like people fall for internet stuff all the time. They do. they do. Exactly. Okay, the man who just loves pull raps a little too much. This man has been arrested three times for having sex with pull raps. Yeah, I heard about that guy. Okay, Alaskans, a survey revealed

that the average time Alaskans spend having sex is between 20 seconds and one minute. They're cold. I don't know, you think they'd want to do a little more to warm up? No matter. It's a country of, it's a state of Minuteman. Maybe I met these people from Alaska and they just seem so goddamn miserable. I can understand why. And you know, speaking of freezing menace, I realize I think like moving to LA, it's been two years for me now. I think I've just been thawing out for two years. Yeah. Because it was friggin freezing there. I mean, it was 50.

It's between 48 and 53 degrees every single day. And no one tells you that when you moved to California. I mean, you grew up in Northern California. But I, young girl, come moving there for Michigan, thought, California, palm trees, sunshine. Yeah. That always happens. And it's, yeah, the tourists go there. And they buy, but I live there for a long time.

And I just realized like, today is 86-friend degrees in L.A. And I feel like I still am like, oh my god, it's warm. And I do feel like everyone's like, how do you like L.A.? I'm like, well, the weather's great, which seems cliche, but the truth is, it really makes a difference in your mind, your everything. Like it's healthy. It's good for you. A little sunshine.

Okay. And also, an 84-year-old man who invited two 17 year olds to his house He met them through a sugar daddy website the 17 year olds attacked him tied him up and robbed his house That's your biggest fear. Yes Well, because when I've already tried to talk medicine to try and bondage My wallet's gonna be gone And the number one the couple who got suctioned it together while having sex in the ocean, they ended up going in the emergency room so they could be separated.

Those are the people, so if you think your sex life kind of sucked in 2014, these people had a way worse. Publicly, and a public manner. There was a, oh, what was it? I was hearing about this article of like crazy stuff that people got caught inside them in like 2014 and it was just Insane stuff like oh there was this one where

This girl shoved the balloon into the guy's p-hole and then try to blow out the balloon and guess what it didn't really work out Oh my god Can you imagine going to the emergency? Yeah, this other guy like tied weights to his weiner, trying to make it larger, which never works. That does not work. And it like clinched down and he had to get it amputated. His penis?

Yeah, because he had it on for like a couple hours before he went to the emergency room. People really, okay, so you can do Kegle exercise if you want to last longer and you want to have more orgasms and stuff like that. But really, there's all these sites about, we get questions also, I do love line, every night, can I make a penis larger? What can I do?

You can't do anything. You're not gonna get a penis enlargement. You can just work with what you have. Like we all work with our greatest assets, our greatest gifts and things about us that we're challenged with. And I'm telling you, if you're smaller than average penis or penis that you think is small All work with our greatest assets, our greatest gifts and things about us that we're challenged with. And I'm telling you, if you're smarter than average penis, there's penis that you think

is small and you don't like life will go on, you will find love, things will be great. Don't forget, get your penis amputated this year. 2015, that should be your resolution, guys. So accept and love your penis. So then we got a call from this guy in the call just saying that it was checking a patient and was like putting whatever tools that they do in there. Right. And found an A ball in there and then the A ball like rolled out and fell out.

An A ball, okay, an A ball from pool. Yeah, from pool, like a, like a black ape in her. Yeah, yeah. She didn't, she didn't know a big, how do you not know that's. Like a black ape inner. Yeah, yeah. She didn't. She didn't know. A big, how do you not know that's like carrying a baby? Like that's huge. I don't know. But is that real? It was real. It was real. For sure. It was real. People, you have to be really careful. I see there's like four nose where like people stick like wine bottles. Yeah, you go to Thailand and they like, you they they stick they shoot ping pong balls on the vagina

Have you ever been Thailand? See those shows. Yeah, good times. They're very they're they're very dept at I'm making their China's doing amazing. That's why like I'm saying the sex toys that gateway drug to To eight balls in your vagina. No, dude listen to me the sex toys are a prevention from you stick having a stick and ape on your vagina. If you get a really good sex toy, you won't have to stick strange things. Like I'm a bigger year younger than the girl in high school who stuck like a remote control in our vagina

and all that stuff. Do you have a story? You know, the rumors? Like, At a rumor like maybe a hot dog in there broke off. Oh God, people, let me just say about this. It's not, it's actually bad for you to mix the bacteria, like your vagina naturally regulates the bacteria in it,

that we have natural bacteria in it. And if you mix anything in it, like sugary things, you're like, oh, whipped cream might be great. No, you're gonna get an infection. And that ape all God knows where it's been. Durable, now we know that it's been, but it's like dirty, things are dirty. You don't wanna put germs in your vagina.

I'm sure it wasn't like straight out of the package Abel. Yeah, no, it's like sitting there and like some dusty room. It's like old guys playing pool It's disgusting that upsets me people so please don't do that leave them by the sex toys that I tell you to buy Because I believe and I know that oh God I'm sorry. This is my whole mission and life that I do realize that that that the sex toy thing When we started this it was still kind of I felt like I always had to explain like hey guys Oh God, this is my whole mission and life that I do realize that the sex toy thing, when we started this, it was still kind of, I felt like I always had to explain like, hey guys, don't be intimidated, it doesn't mean she's like, but you know, that she wants the sex

toy over you, can't cuddle, it's not gonna replace you. But I feel like we've kind of moved past that, we're more than 50, what is it? 52% of women have all had a sex toy and of those like 70% try with their partners and like I would say like guys had a good experience had sex last weekend just so you know and I had a guide never used a toy and of course see I'm like I'm his gateway because you always talk about these toys you have the suitcase full of all yeah suit house full of them so I'd be tried the the Jeju Mio which is a cock ring, which you know cock rings are brown forever. Then you can men can use them to restrict the blood flow so

they can last longer a little bit. Have some last long route to say harder. So now they may have like in the last you know 10 years they make them so they vibrate. So they're like round they're going there's a lot of different kinds of cheap ones, just more expensive ones, but you know screaming oh makes one that like you just throw away. It's like disposable, they go on, there's a bunch of different kinds. There's cheap ones, there's more expensive ones, but you know, screaming O makes one that like, you just throw away, it's like disposable, but the Mio, the one I was talking about, it's rechargeable and it's like,

friggin', it's like a powerful vibe, but it feels awesome and it's like stretchy and it's like one size of it's most. And it was a friggin' blast. Like you, it just does all these cool things. It's cause it goes on the penis, then you can have sex. Like a normal sex, so it's hitting your clitoris, my clitoris, to be specific. But then you take it off and it's like a normal sex So it's hitting your clitoris my clitoris to be specific

But then you take it off and it's like it looks it's just like a little ring It so looks like a ring it shrinks back down. So it's like a ring put on your fingers You could still use it on your clitoris nipples You can use it on his balls and I'm telling you it's not that I've been you know Okay, I haven't done this that many guys but the guys that I have introduced vibrations to their balls have never complained They've liked it And you can use it in your nipples you can drag it's this really maneuverable that's that many guys, but the guys that I have introduced vibrations to their balls have never complained. They've liked it. And you can use it in your nipples, you can drag it.

It's just this really maneuverable, I don't know, it's got the Mia, I'm just kind of a fine new obsession. This is something we've never talked about. Okay, go ahead. As you're describing that, I'm thinking, so your external, not internal? The way that I orgasm, I can do both. But I, most women can, if they can do do both not not most it's typical for women to Require to a literal orgasm before they can have a G-spot orgasm like a blended orgasm

so Like if I my clitoris is stimulated enough then I can and then we're having sex I can have both G-spot Cliteral blended whateverended, whatever you wanna call it. And so that just like boom, it's like, it's freaking amazing. And so here's the thing, it's sort of- Externals just such a pain in the ass, by the way.

Why, because you've to use your mouth. Well dude, this is what, because it's so much work. It's work for you because you're thinking your mouth or your hands. If you, if I gave you one of these memes or this ring and you held it on your girlfriend for like five minutes, what would you care?

You didn't have to do any work. She had a crazy orgasm and then you bang her and maybe she'll have another one. So I don't understand, like, I guess people guys, if they have got another, as if you're realizing it actually enhance and make your life easier, it's like your new assistant.

It's your should be your best friend because it takes, if you don't enjoy going down and you don't have time, let's say you'd quick ear, like oh my God, if I go down in there, do you take 25 minutes or what does it mean to say, man, it's like, whatever you're always like, kind of, for eight minutes.

But this thing just helps you. It's like your handy helper. It's like, you know, when you go to the gym and you, you, at, what did you do to the gym to like make it more pleasant? You know you put music on and it makes it go, if you're on the treadmill and you're like, oh, listen to music that work out, it went by so quickly or you would, it enhances. It doesn't take away.

All right. That's all I'm saying. So thank you for asking my orgasms. How did you go for an orgasm? Oh. Tell me you don't know yet because that we've done. Yeah, I don't know yet. That's good.

Gosh. Okay. Well, let's get into the emails about the people and from the people, about the people, by the people, but first, a quick word from our sponsors, who I love, and they help keep the show free for everyone. Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men. And it's the only one that you want or need because here's the thing. Guys use their hands.

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it makes your masturbation time so much better or just different because I know men love variety. And it's made with this body-safe material invented by NASA and it's like stretchy, it's it's looks and feels like the real deal, the the flesh lights. They come in so many different like textures and sizes and some people say it feels even better than sex. Nothing ever one of sex again. And also there's the fleshlight stamina training unit. It helps you practice lasting longer

and becoming a better lover. Plus, you'll experience some mind-blowing orgasms and you can use it with your partner. She can give you a little hand job. Maybe you send women or other period or whatever they want to sex. She has a website that, you know, Madison's with my assistant here with her boyfriend.

She sometimes just gives them a fleshlight. It says, have a good time. Here you go. Yeah, that's with my sister here with her boyfriend, she's sometimes just gives him a flashlight, so it's a good time. Here you go. Yeah, that's also your new best friend, women. So get your part or something by it. It's gentle and sensitive on your skin, all that stuff. And for my listeners, go to sexthemely.com, click on the flashlight banner, use coupon code Emily, and you get a free bottle of their award-winning Loub. Or you can just go to flashlight.com,, use code Emily award-winning loob.

What else do you need? But loob. Loob enhances everything. I love loob. You've been pro loob since I've known. I know. I want loob in every nightstand, and I'm really getting on that track this year. I have to say.

The loob thing because- You're getting to visit everybody's in the stand like Santa Claus? Yeah, exactly. You know people like, for the holidays, they make homemade jam or home-made jam or whatever. I'm going to make homemade lube next year and put in little jars and just deliver it to everyone right now. But chemist. Yeah, like a chemist, exactly.

That's what I'm going to do. And yeah, because lube also, just a note there about lube, is that it actually studies have shown that even if she's wet, it's not like if there's dryer discomfort, but even if she might already be wet, adding a little drop of lube actually increases a woman's chance of having an orgasm. Because it's a little more slippery or it's a different kind of slipperyness, so why not? Again, it's a, well, we're about the lube. Leave it out there. What the hell, people? Okay. Just do it. Okay. First question.

Emily, and one of your latest podcasts you had a script for introducing toys into the bedroom, but you only did it on a girl's perspective. You were here for this, all right? Yeah. I've been wanting to try out getting a toy in the bedroom with my girlfriend and I don't quite know where to start.

Neither of us, neither of us have ever had any toys and we always jokingly say, let's go into sex shop every time we try a buy one. Just wondering if there are any tips that you'd suggest that we do. Thanks, Jay. Okay, Jay. Right. Here's a deal.

You're already halfway there. Next time, instead of saying, let's stop by the sex toy shop or driving by the sex toy shop, just turn it to the parking lot and do it. Because there isn't a better learning experience for couples than to enter a shop together and Explore everything that you've ever fantasized about because it can be it's there. It'll provoke you You'll see you know, you'll see a bunch of DVDs. They watch porn. There's every toy under the sun There's you know lingerie. I mean they have everything in there and you can just walk around together And be like what do you think of this? What do you think of that? Let's try something. And then you could really start to ask each other questions

about what turned you on. And just by one thing, I always say a good starter vibe. If you've never used a vibrator, is the packet rocket? It's a great one. It's just a little tiny handheld vibe. If you wanted to say, it's like 20 bucks, you can also go to if you're in the barrier or online, it's good vibesibes.com.

Use Cuban code Emily for 20% or for 15% off. But that's a great way. Or just like, you know, maybe you want to tie your partner up, 50 shades of gray is coming out. They've got whips, they've got, you know, light velcro ones. It doesn't have to hurt. You can just blindvile your partner. They've got everything. So you can also just let her know that you want to see how much pleasure she can experience. And you think that trying toys together would be fun, especially if she jokes about it with you, it sounds like she's working against you on this. And so, you know, I think I didn't give you a script for this, but it's the same exact

thing I said last time. It's like, hey, I love our sex life together, babe. It's amazing. And I think if we brought a little toys in the mix or something fun, little some props, it could go to the next level. Happy new year, let's take our sex life to the next level. That's what you do. Also if you are in anywhere where there's a hustler store, there's about 12, 11 of them in the country. If you go to a hustler store, you can tell them that sex with Emily sent you and you get 20% off your order. So, Menace, what would you say to that?

If you wanted to, well you don don't want to try to choice, but if you did, do you just agree with me? No. I agree. No, I agree. I agree, you know. I haven't talked to it after all this time. No, I'm just pretty sorry.

I'm just pretty sorry. I'm halfway joking all the time. I know. Okay. Um. I wanted it before I forget. Please. Cameron Diaz, she got married 42 years old last night.

She did? Yeah. That's awesome. She got married to Benji. To Benji? Yes. Madden? Wow, look at you knowing the name and everything.

I know, I know, I know. I was on vacation, I read people. People magazine. That's exciting. Good for her. She was always like the oh yeah Yeah, good to get married she's like out there playing the field like you and You saying they're still hope. They're still hope you could that's exciting. Where'd they get married? Was it a private ceremony or something? Yeah, it was that actually at her house in her backyard

That's nice like they've been together five minutes. Well, no, they've been together for a while But they got engaged over the holidays in December and now they just got married real quick. You know, typically I'm against rushing into marriage, but when you're a little bit older, I think that you know yourself a lot better. And so I wish her luck and I'm happy for her and him he, Benji.

I hope that they live a long, happy, let me out. And I don't know how I knew that. I hope they live a long, happy, lit, mad, and I don't know how I knew that. I hope they live a long, happy life together. And it is true that that's why I always say don't get married before 30. And she's 42. So she's been around the block. We know she's not a virgin, right?

I mean, no. And over the break, Chris Rock got a divorce or is getting a divorce. And the reason was he just didn't feel like being married anymore. Because he wants to sleep with other people. He just like didn't want to deal with being married. Like, does he has kids and everything and the whole thing?

Yeah, and apparently it's just like a mutual thing. How long were they together? They were together about 15 years. Okay, that happens. I mean, here's the thing. I feel like if it's a mutual, I mean, how great if it is a mutual separation and you both just kind of fall out of love, you know, I think that's more typical than we realize

and people always shocked and they feel like it's such a failure. But if you're with someone a long time and you don't work on things in your relationship, like your sex life, which I think people need to do or things just go south. And you put in 15 good years, it wasn't great. You gotta leave, you gotta leave. You gotta leave it.

But it doesn't feel like being married anymore sounds a little aggressive to me. If I was his wife, I'd be like, you're basically saying you don't wanna be with me. Yeah. Right? Out in the public. Right, I don't wanna be married anymore.

Yeah, see you. I don't wanna be married to you. Yeah. Yeah, so is it ugly? Is it gonna be ugly? No, you see, she seems happy. He's probably giving her a large sum of money. Oh, sure.

Chris Rock, I think, is worth like 50 million. Oh, no, 70 million. How many times does he meet me? I guess it was his first marriage. This is only, yeah, only marriage. Okay, well, you know, here's the deal. My next question. What would you say? Yeah, no, I was just saying it's funny that he's getting divorced because he just came out the movie called Top 5, which is really good. I recommend people watch it. It's on the theater. We listen to this podcast or rent it when it comes out.

But in the movie, he does talk with somebody else about getting a prenup for somebody else. The somebody else that got married in the movie and was talking about like, oh, you wrote all the jokes. You're the one that came with all the stuff. So you better get that pre-knop, you know, you made all the money. Yeah, but she put up with you and your children and all that stuff and raise the children and did a lot of work. So, you know, I don't know.

But she should get half of all your money. Dude, she doesn't California. She's going to get half. I, I don't know where they live. I don't know. But yeah, you get, yeah, you know what? I don't know. It's tricky. It's true. I guess people are so in love and they're like, I will never get live. I don't know. But yeah, you get it. Yeah, you know what? I don't know.

It's tricky. It's true. I guess people are so in love and they're like, I will never get divorced. It doesn't matter. But if you're together that long and you've children together, I get it. But dudes are really, I know a lot of guys that are contemplating divorce and they look at the numbers and meet their lower. They're like, it's not worth it.

Because I'm going to just have my money. Which is crazy. I would make someone sign a pre-minute. I don't want them to take all my money. All my shoes. She was $70 million dollars. Like, kidney, you go, all right. I'm gonna give her $10 million. Do you think she could, I think she could live

off like $10 million. She doesn't need it. It's the life she's become accustomed to. That's what they always say. I've become accustomed to spending $20,000 a month and go, they. No, it's crazy. You see all these things like Holly Barrier, whatever.

She like breaks up and she gives her baby daddy. The model guy. $80,000 a month, something crazy like that. Just for him. Yeah. That's crazy. They were together like five minutes and she got pregnant. Yeah.

$80,000. He had a good look at her really good look. Because they weren't even married. People don't even make like half I know I know could you imagine just like oh there's goes the 80,000 I didn't even notice from his pocket chain. Yeah, the disparity of wealth in this country is really disturbing But I'm not gonna go off on that right now so many first world problems. I know exactly I'm very blessed. Yeah, very blessed. I couldn't pay anyone any thousand Yeah, that's crazy. Okay, so the next thing that was about newlyweds.

Okay. Next question, because newlyweds have issues too. Hey Emily, start listening to your podcast and it's been great. I have a question for you. Let me set up the scenario. My wife and I got married three months ago. We've been together for three and a half years. She's a manager for restaurants.

Her schedule is all messed up. Someday she works seven to five thirty, others nine to nine, or even three thirty to one or two a.m. My job, I work Monday through Friday, seven a.m. to three thirty. Needless to say, we don't see each other a lot and that makes it tough on her sex life. We have sex maybe one or two times a month. For a newlywed couple, we should be having a lot and that makes it tough on her sex life. We have sex maybe one or two times a month for a newlywed couple we should be having

a lot more sex. So the question is, any advice how to get more? Thanks Chris. Well Chris, I'm so glad you're asking this question because yes, yes, you certainly should be having more sex especially as newlyweds. I mean, I know you've been together three and a half years, but everyone should be having more sex than one time a month. If you're in a committed relationship, you should do your best and work on your sex

life and work on whatever issues are preventing you from having sex so you're having sex more than once a month. So don't let this become the elephant in the room, meaning don't let it be the one thing that you and your wife both know isn't happening and not talking about. And you are hoping in your mind that some miracle times are going to open up, we are obviously going to have time to have sex all day long Because that doesn't happen. It doesn't sound like it's going to happen with her schedule So you need to talk about it and tell her that you you know again

Whenever you have these conversations about sex and I'm going to start my resolution from 2015 to you people I'm always saying talk to your partner communication is lubrication and what I realize is that that's so easy to say You're like oh, yeah, I'll talk to them. But I think it's like that being able to actually sit there and have the words come out of your mouth and know what to say, like, you know you should do it, but you don't really know how. So I'm going to start putting more words around that. So you have the right word. So I think when you talk to your body, you could say, you know, babe, I know our schedule is so crazy. And I just, I miss being with you. I miss being with you sexually.

I love our sex life. And I really love connecting with you in that way. And I miss it. So I would say, Chris, say, what does she suggest? Ask your word, see, she just first just say, like, what do you think about that? Before, because that's A, right? And then the wrong way to be would be like,

you're working on time. Then you come home and you're tired. I mean, never have sex. I've been at a blow-difficence. You got married. Do you know what that's going, right? And then the wrong way to be would be like, you're working on time, then you come home and you're tired. I mean, never have sex. I haven't had a blowjob since we got married. Do you know what that's going to make her do? That's going to make her vow never to give you a blowjob again and get mad at you for 16 other things. So it's not just about talking about it.

It's about talking about it in a way that is proactive and that isn't without blame, without anger, without, you know, hatred or threats. It's anytime you approach someone and you use like feeling words, like I've been feeling lately, like, you know, I really miss our sex life and this is what can we do about it and you make it an issue with both of you?

You're gonna get a lot better results than just, you know, be cranky and complaining because so many guys I know also are in relationships that are like, yeah, I keep saying like, we're doing it tonight, we're results than just, you know, be cranky and complaining. Because so many guys I know also were in relationships that like, yeah, I keep saying like, we're doing it tonight, we're doing it tonight, you know, and then that's never gonna make anyone want to do anything, right?

The second time I'm saying like, why, when you're doing this yet, why? There's just different ways of asking for things. So also, here's another thing Chris, I'm gonna say, maybe you need to schedule sex. And the first time I heard about scheduling sex, just like you and everyone else, probably is that you think that's a friggin' buzzkill.

I'm gonna look at my calendar and be like, you know, pick up dry cleaning, drive kids a dance lesson and have sex. You're like that, you know, whatever. But the truth is, if you know that you're having sex on Friday at 6 o'clock, then you don't have to all week long be anxious about it and worry about it and think if she's coming on or that, then you know what's happening. You can start to think about it, get excited about it. Maybe you can have a little textual foreplay, text each other, some sexy things, and then you know what's happening. So, you know, plan out, you know, I think date nights are super important

for couples. And again, don't put the pressure on the sex. You can also emphasize the need for connection and intimacy. If she's feeling like she's just too tired or whatever on the sex, you can also emphasize a need for connection and intimacy if she's feeling like she's just too tired or whatever stressed for sex. That happens sometimes when you have a lot of stress so you can just say I just want to be together intimately, you can give each other background as massages, whatever it is, but I would plan out date nights and night where you know, and even if your schedules

are changing she'll know her schedule we can advance. And you'd be like, okay, this week it's a Wednesday. So what do you think, Matt? That's because you have a crazy schedule. Yeah, I have a crazy schedule and that you touched on what I was going to say was, you know, what are you doing with your free time? Are you just staying home? Are you just sleeping in bed all day? And if find things to go do that gets her excited, you know, maybe go in bed. It's just going to dinner, if it's just going to move. You don't mean like to kill the shots?

No, I mean definitely not. But whatever it is, create a whole thing, exactly. Like have a date because we get excited when we try new things together. So yeah, take her dinner. What have you done that's been a fun night? So anything new, unique? You know, she loves Justin Timberlake,

who got Justin Timberlake show, or it's like a concert or just going to dinner at a nice place and stuff like that. Even though I'm like really tired, I don't wanna go out, but I still go and do it anyways, you know, because she's been at home all the time and bored. And that's one of the compromises you make

in your relationship, so it doesn't fall apart. Because if you had it your way, and you didn't go friend, you'd be home. I'll just be at the house all day. You would never leave. Never leave until I had to go back to work. Right, exactly. No, it's totally true.

And I get it. So it gets you out. And any couples who like, you know, we try something new together too. It's exciting and it would be good for you. Even as like going to the grocery store together, something like that. Right, cooking together.

Just doing stuff together. I mean, every day I just want to go directly home into my bed, but I go for once to go run errand somewhere and then I go. You do, it's nice of you. I go with her. Yeah. Even though, like the last thing you do is being traffic.

Yeah, I don't want to go do any of that stuff, but I still go do it anyways, you know. That was just something that you guys had to talk about in the relationship where you just always compromise it. I just do that myself that I can't be like, not see, not see it all day and then say, oh yeah, go run your errands, I'm just gonna be at the home sleeping and not doing anything.

I'd have a hard time with that. See, I would just wanna be home and sleep. I'd be like, yeah, and can you stop by Starbucks and I'll see you in two hours because I'm taking a nap. Yeah, but you can't do that. You can, you gotta contemplate, just or compromise. You gotta hang out. nap. Yeah, but you can't do that. You can, you got to contemplate. You have to do something, you got to hang out.

Absolutely. Okay, next email, dear Emily, I hate my girlfriend's family so much. I adore her son even though he's a little bit bad at. He's a little badass and her, and her, she and I have a decent relationship, but her mother, her aunt, her grandparents, make me want to give up and move on. I love her, but knowing that they might be my life forever scares me.

I don't know what to do. They're so judgmental. Start drama all of it all the time and I don't need or want the bullshit. Should I leave her and get my head straight and mentally prepare myself and maybe one day fix things or stick around and hope there isn't a brawl one day? Thank you, Tony. Um, my recommendation on that is why do you even care that much, what they have to say? I mean, it definitely if it goes between you and her,

like talk it out with her, like you don't need to be having to fight with the family or discussing anything with the family, like who, F and cares, I don't care. Right. You know, if someone is like some, like Uncle or Anne is upset with me, I'm not gonna go and go talk to them.

I don't care. Like, I'll like cares about the relationship that I have with my girlfriend. Right, exactly. But the family, here's the thing, but I wanna say Tony's, they're like welcome to the world of relationships because when you get into relationship with someone, you don't only have to do with your crazy family now you got to deal with their family issue

It's like a whole nother thing So I'd be surprised if you didn't have this issue because there's always someone in the partner's family They're like kind of bugs you and it can cause a lot of unnecessary strain in the relationship So the thing that you have to do is Tony first of all she's your girlfriend. You're not married You don't have kids you don't have to go to Tony, first of all, she's your girlfriend. You're not married. You don't have kids. You don't have to go to every single family function just because she wants you to. That's one thing.

The next thing is families don't change. Your parents aren't going to change. Her family is not going to change. So what you need to do is change your expectations or a family. Don't go into it thinking, oh, this year it's going to be great. I'm going to bond with the uncle, you know? No, he's still going gonna be the same drunk jerk that he was every year.

So your expectations either change and limit, so just be like, this is how it's gonna be. Limit the time that you see them and set boundaries. Again, you don't have to attend every event. I have a friend who's been married for 15 years. Her thing with the in lot, that's their biggest strife is her husband's family makes her crazy.

Finally, she's like, you know what? I'm not doing the six days of Christmas. They wanna do like pretty Christmas post Christmas. She's like, I'm not the fucking doing that. And this is the first year she was finally, she's like, I had the best Christmas ever because she said no to the Christmas run and the family does the whole thing.

And she feels so much better because she's like, because a lot of us, we wanna please her partner, we want things to run smoothly, we wanna do do the right thing, but being with their family 24-7 isn't necessarily the right thing to do. So you're not married. And also just think about it. Like if somebody in the family has a crappy comment towards you, like, how does that really affect you? Right. They don't really care that much. Who cares? Yeah, I have a feeling Tony probably has issues with a lot of people in his life.

No, I mean if he's- Yeah, but I totally understand that with, you know, when you're dating somebody, you do have to feel, you deal with like so many different personalities, you know, attach to that when you're meeting her family or hanging out with her family. Absolutely, no, Tony, I don't mean you issues. I just mean that's a really good point,

man, that you said that he, why is he letting get get to him? Yeah. And if you just smile, turn away, you're like, there's the grandma in the living room, I'm going into the kitchen. You can avoid it, you know, you can just be high smile and let it roll for shoulders.

People might say, oh, just talk it out, but people don't change no matter what. No one ever, ever, ever change. I mean, let's say, wanna change. And that's amazing, but you're never gonna make anyone change Tony. So I would just say, I think that you just got to, you know, change our expectations.

I don't mean to say you've issues with everyone, but the fact that he lets him get out of our skin probably means that he just really wants to look to get to work with the girlfriend. And she also might have a partner this, because she might be putting undue pressure on him. She's going to be saying, you know, I need you here. I need you here.

And you know what, you're allowed to say, I'm going to go to two out of four of those. And again, if there's any issues, you talk it out with her. That's what I think. Okay, okay, yeah, I think so too. People gotta talk about everything. So I'm talking about communication,

it's a lubrication. Your favorite line. It is my favorite line, and it's gonna be my tombstone, even though I'm dead. I'm gonna talk to you when I'm dead, but it is gonna say communication is a lubrication, but don't you forget, would you visit me?

Yeah, I just want my dust, you know, spread. Okay. I don't know, I was thinking like the Golden Gate Bridge or something, but I really don't care. I don't want anyone to visit me, be like, oh, I didn't bring your flowers, whatever. Just like, I have a good picture of me, listen to my podcasts, I've been to 1000 podcasts. Listen to those and miss me. I'll chop up your voice to say whatever. You would do that, wouldn't you?

You'd just say all this shit. You'd want to say to me all these years, you know what I'm saying? That'd be so sweet. I'll make sure I'll spread your deaths at the Hudson Club or something. Would you, would you, the Hudson Club? That's really what I want.

Larry Flint would stand up and have a moment of silence for me. My parents would be really, really proud. Yeah. Just need a moment of silence for that. Depressing moment. OK. Um, okay. Hi Emily, I would love your advice. Three years ago, I found out that my husband was having an affair with one of his co-workers.

This had been going on for three years and I had no idea. When I found out, he told me it wasn't an affair, is they never had sex only oral and had exchange photos of each other. I was completely gutted as I thought we had an outstanding sex life and relationship. I forgiven him, but I still feel unsure and vulnerable at times. We own a company together, he's the boss

and deals with men and women. He's close relationship with his safety officer as she's female and at times I feel threatened as they spend many hours together. Am I being a jealous wife or should I be on my guard? Regardless? I mean, if there's a history then, unfortunately, you're going to be on your guard for the rest of your life.

Exactly. That's what sucks. Well, that's the thing. I mean, you made the decision. You're going to stick with your husband and forgive him, but forgiveness doesn't come just because you and your mind decide you're going to forgive him, but forgiveness doesn't come just because you and your mind decide you're going to forgive him. Forgiving someone and rebuilding trust takes work. And the kind of work I mean is marriage counseling, therapy, time, talking about it.

And if you just said, I forgive you and you've moved on in three years of gone by and the same issues are flaring up again, you haven't done your work. So I think it's totally normal for you to feel scared and threatened in this situation because it's mimics what just happened two, three years ago. So you got to talk to him about it and share your feelings and I know you're probably thinking, oh, but he thinks I never let it go. Well, you know what? Because you probably haven't let it go because you guys haven't worked on it together. I'm assuming you haven't gone to therapy together and worked on it because this wouldn't be an issue that you're emailing me about. You would already say, okay, babe, you'd have the language because what happens in therapy,

I don't know, people think like therapies like I'm asking the time to go to surgery or something getting their heart removed. No, I'm telling you that therapy is like the best work that you could do as a couple and I do believe that every couple needs it at some point because you'll learn how to communicate with each other and the right language so these same things don't happen over and over again. So for example, when you first found out that he started spending time with this safety officer, what is she like a police officer?

It was a safety belt, whatever, okay, cool. So you would have been like, hey babe, you'd have words, you'd say, so this is triggering my feelings of insecurity and then you talk about it like the first time it happened, but now it's been a few months. So I'm saying if you really want to rebuild and you want to trust them, you need to find a therapist.

And it's not the hardest thing in the world. And it's not gonna kill you. It's gonna make you stronger. How fun with that. What therapy? No, just like. Do you need a therapy? We were at it.

Me? I see. Believe me, you need a therapy. Dude, I've had therapy my entire life. I know. I me, you need the therapy. Dude, I've had therapy in my entire life. I know. I've got a lot of therapy more than I've gone anywhere else. You've been going therapy since you were like a kid, right? No, but I haven't gone in a few years,

but I'm going to go back. I love therapy is a lifelong process. It doesn't have to be a beginning and an end. You can go for three years, you can stop for five, go back, and different points in your life. You know, you have different issues that come in your life, so it's always good to go. And like the truth is, is that sometimes the best time

to go to therapy is when you're not having a crisis, when you're not in crisis, and when you just kind of want to work on things. All right, fine. So you could go if you want me to give you some more. I don't understand why you think I need therapy. You're just throwing that out there. No, I think you do.

I mean, I think everyone does. Because you know why? I think everyone needs it because just like how you go to the doctor for a checkup, you know, you go to the dentist to clean your teeth, just might be good to have someone objective to go and, you know, talk to about some issues that I'm floating on in your head because the issues that we have, the struggles that we have, whatever insecurities are, our fears that hold us back, they don't change over lifetime if you invest you work on them and you learn how to deal with them. So you're not going to change your relationship to whatever issues you have unless you go

to talk about it. It's all the same. So those are my words for the new year. I've been going to therapy and I have lots of sex. Anything else, Menace? No, just make sure you follow the show on Twitter, Instagram. I'm trying to think it will be the best one. There's this new one that I want to suggest.

We'll mention in the next podcast where I want you to sign up and be on Twitter. Why are you teasing? Huh? Okay. Well, I don't want to get loud. I don't want you to get loud. It's a meme. Okay fine.

Okay now there are some next show. Let's see next show. Okay. They might like take your username. Yeah, don't take my username. She's so glad we didn't talk about that. Okay, here's a deal. So come see me this weekend.

It's a 17 and 18th in Los Angeles at the sexual health expo because I'm giving a keynote that's going to change your life after I write it, which I'm gonna figure out this weekend. No, it's really cool. All that stuff going on. And also, fell me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Oh, you know what they could do, Manus. Because you suggested this and it actually,

it was a really great idea. All right. That if you are on iTunes and you download my podcast and you like it, you might wanna review it, to say, hey, I love it, give me a star too. Let me know what you like and don't like it. Also, don't forget to check out our survey that we're sending out and let us know what you love

about the show and how we can make it better in 2015. So, thanks everyone for listening, was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithamlee.com. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to the show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. And let me tell you all about promescent, which will help you have the best sex life in your life. One in three men suffers from premature ejaculation. But you know what? You really don't have to. In fact, you might not even suffer technically from premature ejaculation. But you know what? You really don't have to.

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