Sex With Emily - Nip Slips & Fantasy Tips with Mr. Skin

Episode Date: July 10, 2019

On today’s show, Emily is joined by Jim McBride a.k.a. “Mr. Skin” to talk about his new book, Being Mr. Skin: 20 Years of Nip Slips, Cheek Peeks & Fast Forwarding to the Good Parts. Plus, she’s taking your emails.  The two discuss what it’s like to have a family & a very sexually open career – as well as keeping up with the times. Then, Emily gives advice on how far is too far when it comes to revealing your fantasies to your partner, how to go from best friends to lovers, and where exactly the prostate is and how to stroke it for your partner. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Apex, ThirdLove, Zumio, SiriusXM, Good Vibrations Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily For more on Mr. Skin's book, click HERE. For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Family. On today's show, I'm joined by Jim McBride, aka Mr. Skin to talk about his new book, Being Mr. Skin, 20 years of nip slips, cheek peaks, and fast forwarding to the good parts. Plus, I'm taking your emails, topics include what it's like to have a family and have a very sexually open career. How far is too far when it comes to revealing your fantasies to your partner? So you've been friends for so long, how do you make it sexual and romantic? Is it possible? And you want to find your partner's prostate,

but you're not sure where it is exactly. All this and more, thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on day Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand Oh my The women know about shrinkage

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk Being bad feels pretty good You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information check out sexwithemily.com.

You're going to love our website if you haven't been there yet, chock full of information to help you. Plus, you can find me five days a week on SiriusXM Radio Monday through Friday, five to seven PM Pacific, SiriusXM Stars Channel 109, and it's fun, and you guys should get a free subscription if you want, you can go to sex-emily.com slash SXM, plus you can find me on all social media. It's at Sex with Emily across the board.

Alright guys, I hope you enjoy the show. I'm excited to rug in my guess. He just walked in. He's racing all around LA. I'm so glad you're here, Mr. Skin. Thanks for having me, Emily. Congratulations. Yeah, great to see you.

Thank you so much. I know. And you called into my first show. I'm just remembering this now here in Circex. Oh, that's right. And now I get to welcome you here and congratulate you on your book, Being Mr. Skin, 20 years of nip slips, cheek peaks, and fast forwarding to the good parts. Jim, Mr. Skin McBride.

Yeah, well, thank you. Yeah, the thing for me that has been fun about this book promotion is kind of an nostalgia of I started this 20 years ago This is my 20th anniversary this year. I mean it was before YouTube Facebook You know all those websites they Twitter porn porn porn existed just you know Fracian online porn right now that's true. Yeah, well it

In the early days of me starting mr. Skin, it seemed like all the innovation came from the adult side, all the best developers, all the people who, the money people that wanted to get into the internet. It seemed they were all in the adult space. Now, over time, obviously there was money to be made in mainstream, but I remember in the early days, like the most talented developers, or the most talented computer people were, usually somewhere in the adult space.

And then did you did, is that what you happened? You brought them into work for you? And did you recruit them? I did, actually. And there's been people that have been with me, 16, 17, 18 years, which is pretty cool. And you know, it's funny. What I do, we could have fun. You know, 17, 18 years, which is pretty cool. And you know, it's funny. What I do, we could have fun.

You know, it's a fun. I don't know. Everyone about you guys don't know. Well, yeah. Mr. Skin is a database. Mr. Skin.com. Talk about it. Mr. Skin, it's amazing.

Yeah, where you could go to find, if any actress in the history of movies or television has ever done a nude scene. And it's, yeah, it's just been, when I started this thing, I had no idea that I'd be doing this 20 years from I really didn't. And it's, you know, we've always had a real positive vibe. We never took pictures of actresses and their backyards and posted them or we didn't post cell phone picks. It's just really celebrating nudity and movies from television and movies. And it's just something that took off in a way

I could never imagine. I mean, it's so smart. It's really smart. I mean, I love your whole story. And you guys can find out more. It's MrSkin.com. And he's on Instagram at MrSkinSelebs and Twitter at MrKitsSkinSelebs.

And we've met mutual friends, we've met years ago. And I've watched you on this journey and I just think it's really is amazing to me that you really, it's kind of like, I don't know what this vision just came ahead. Like you really did like skim the best parts. Like it really is like, I was thinking like the muffin top sort of like in my fifth

and you're like, I want to eat the muffin. No pun intended. No pun intended. That's what I thought I was like, oh, it'll also be a sexual nuando. Because you're thinking 20 years ago, if you saw a movie at the time, you'd be like, God, that scene was so hot.

There was no, maybe you would have to get the VHS type, but still, it's still so, it's genius. Well, no, thank you. And your story, I love that you are finally telling your story in your book, being Mr. Skin. A lot of people don't know that it really is kind of like the American dream. What happens to you? Yeah.

And, uh, you know, when I was a kid, I used to just tape as many movies as I could and save the new scenes and I became a bit of a savant in the 80s and 90s and my friends would love to just quiz me at parties. And it was before the time where you could Google something or you could just look on your phone. So there was this walking skin cycle, a pedia of nudity and it was just a thing I did for fun, never dreaming that I would ever get a chance

to do this for a living. And I got on a radio show by Happenstance. I was in a bar and my friends were quizzing me like they always do and this guy at a radio show. And he said, you should come on, people would love this. And I didn't think they would, but I said, sure, I'll try it. I used the name Mr. Skin, which he came up with.

And I went on to take calls from listeners of the radio show. I was terrified. I had never even called into a radio show. And I was a clerk at the Chicago Mercantil Exchange. I did this interview. And I really enjoyed it. It was fun. It was entertaining. I made it fun. I knew the answers to all the questions. But I thought, well, that's cool. That was my 15 minutes of fame. I'll go back to this job that I really don't like. I was in my mid-30s. And as I was leaving the studio, the producer tapped me on the shoulder and said,

you know, people really, we had so many people that wanted to ask you questions, would you want to come back? And I talk about it in the book where I thought to myself, man, I have something here, I just didn't know what it was. Because it was before, this is like 97, right? There's no like internet, I mean there was, but not to make money on. So a couple of years later, fast forward, forward a couple years, which is what I do. I had become a bit of a local Chicago celebrity as far as people knew me from being on the radio so much.

And a guy walked up to me at a radio event, which I was a guest at, and he said, you have to put what's in your head into a website. And this was in probably sometime in the summer of 97 maybe. And I said, what's a website? Because I really didn't, I didn't even know what it was. And I just took a chance. And luckily I wasn't really killing it at work. I wasn't doing great. It wasn't much of a risk. I wasn't married. I didn't have a family. I didn't, you know, I didn't much to lose. I raised a little money, a lot and launched this on August 10th of 1999, thinking, you know, if I could just make a couple extra bucks to, you know, then I could

find another job and I'll have this in the background. And here we are 20 years later and I have 40 people working for me and, you know, we've been featured in knocked up, Saturday Night Live, family guy. That's funny because Michelle here is just like, oh, why do I know this? She's like, not up. Yeah, I mean, that was amazing. Yeah, a lot of people, you know, here's a cool story. So a couple of weeks ago, my son's in the basement,

you know, what he's doing, I come down, I say. You don't know what your son's doing in the basement. He's 13 years old, I could probably figure it out. And you would know better than anyone, right? So I go to him, come on, it's time for bed and he goes, dead, I gotta show you something. So he was watching Family Guy. And you know how like on TBS or something,

they'll play a bunch of family guys in a row. So he rewinds a couple of shows, he goes, watch, and it was the part in Family Guy where they talk about Mr. Skin on Family Guy. So as it did, that was kind of cool. You know, that is cool. He's like, my dad is awesome. How cool is that?

You're watching Family Guy, which is like the greatest cartoon and then your dad's Websites in the Crazy That was a cool that was a cool dead moment. I don't have a lot of them. No, that is a cool dad moment I'm I mean like that's a thing though like you Want to go back to what you do and your books? That's an amazing story and then you are in Howard Stern I know that was a big yes many times that's one of my skin-finding moments. Skin-finding moments. Yeah, it was March 23rd of 2000.

It was the first time I was a guest on the Howard Stern show. And my website was six months old. And we were starting to do okay, but not to the extent it would become. And I did the show and Howard loved it and promoted Mr. Skin.com. And I thought I'd be able to handle the kind of traffic he could send back then, you know, when he was on terrestrial radio and all those markets all over the country. I was completely wrong, though we still had 1,000 people join the website,

meaning they became members of the site, but I should have had 10,000 because my website just could not move. Oh yeah, I remember when websites crashed. Remember when those days when you couldn't move and I wasn't. Yeah, I just was, you know, I learned a lesson. I learned so much and I went to business

and you have a family. Yes. So how is it be having a family and then this is your other life? Well, that is also, I talked, that's part of what the Mr. Skin is about. Well, they gotta read the book because it is great.

You tell your whole story because it is about. But they gotta read the book, because it is great, you tell your whole story, because it is fascinating. But, you know, well, I live in a town where there's hedge fund people and business owners and attorneys, like really powerful business people. And here I am, my business is Mr. Skin. So that's lend itself to some humor,

as you can imagine. And I have a freshman daughter, seventh grade son, fifth grade daughter. And it's interesting to show up for school and that's what your dad does for a living. But I gotta say, over. When we're talking to them about sex and sex education and stuff, to talk to them.

Yeah, it's pretty hypocritical of me to be afraid to talk about sex when that's what I kinda, not to the extent you do maybe the same angle, but I do, it's really, I to talk about sex when that's what I kind of, not to the extent you do maybe the same angle, but I do, it's really, I'm talking about sex in movies and television, so I do talk about a lot, and it would be hypocritical if I was to afraid to talk to my children, plus I don't think

it's a bad thing. I know my children are gonna have sex when they grow up, and it's cool, and it's better to be open about it, and help them through it, and answer any questions they's better to be open about it and help them through it and answer any questions they have then to be weird about it. Do you learn to go on the site and they look at the site? I know you talk about that. My son asked me for passwords.

I'm like listen, you're too young, you're 13. When you're older I'm happy to do it but my daughters could care less. They don't, they don't. I'm glad they want to see it. Well I have a question for you though. And you guys, if Mr. Skin, he know he still has the skin, what do you call it, the skin cycle pd? In my head.

And his head. But if there's any actor that you're like, have they ever been naked, like he can tell you, it's pretty amazing. How do you know what makes a great sexy? Like it can't, do you ever think like at the beginning, early stages, like this was a great one, and someone else didn't, or was it just more about

the celebrity, like what? No, well, there's two things. If you ask me what makes a good sexy, early stages like this was a great one and someone else didn't or is it just more about the celebrity? Like what? No, well there's two things. If you ask me what makes a good sexy and I think, you know, I get a lot of questions where someone will say like, you remember Monsters Ball with Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton? A lot of people ask me where they really having sex. To me that means it's a good sexy because when you can't tell or you're not sure, that sounds like that's to me a good sex scene. The other thing is the chemistry between the two.

Sometimes you're looking at it and you're like, nah, I don't know. That doesn't work for me, but other times I can see those two hooking up in real life. That's good thing. As far as a nude scene is concerned, you know, it's funny. What makes a great nude scene? Neutity? No, the lighting. You could have the greatest nude scene in the history of nudity.

It's so true. And if it's too dark and you can't see anything, what good is it? Right. So my number one criteria for a good nude scene is lighting. And this goes for anyone making that they're at home sex tapes.

Lighting. Yeah. It's so freaking true. Because I was thinking about it here, like how we test vibrators. Likeing. Yeah, no tests. So freaking true. Because I was thinking about it here like how we test vibrators. Like we all have to test them. Because I can't be the only deciding factor. We have to all, like in your office, just you

or a few people like the deserved debates that break out. Like I don't think that one was so good. Well, we all test vibrators in my office. No. But I mean testing sex scenes. Is there like that's not a great one. We have a, yeah, we kind of try to set a standard as far as like length of a scene lighting

and things that make it pretty obvious whether it's a three star, two star, one star scene. And we try to have some standards at our office, but you're right, you have multiple people looking at a scene, consensus usually rules when it comes to the quality of a new scene. Okay, got it. So in writing your book, tell me about this process. Like what do you feel like, because I know the process of writing, you must have...

Yeah, it is. It's... Yeah, it was actually... It was good for me because, as you know, even... You know, you've been doing this how many years have you... 14? Right. So you think about, if you had to write a book about your career, try to remember like the first four or five years, it's really difficult. So what we did with my co-writer with this Matthew Cookstein is interview people that used to work for me and people that have been with me a long time and people that have just been with me a couple years, but interview them and

get it on tape and hear their side of things because believe me, people remember things differently or they remember things you have no idea even happened or you totally forgot. And it was really helpful both through friends of mine, family, co-workers, past workers, even people that left. And everyone was really cool about sitting down for the interviews and that helped a lot. And then when you have that, it makes it easier to tell a story about the history of a business. Yeah, I mean, it really is about the business.

I mean, you've grown a very successful business, too, as well. Oh, yeah. And, you know, the other thing that I take them a lot of pride in is, and writing this book has made me realize that is, when you take a step back, I have so many people that work for me that have raised kids because of this business or on a mortgage because of this business or have put kids in school because of this business. And that's, you know, you take pride in that. That's, you know, in the day to day hustle, you don't think of it.

But by writing this book and realizing that we've been around 20 years and all the highs and lows and mistakes and good and bad. People have, you know, people that were in their 20s working for me are now in their 40s and their kids that they didn't even have a girlfriend are now married and have 10, 12 year old kids. It's really a fun thing. That's amazing. I mean, I know I have a family friend who worked with you too for forever for a long time.

I think I've heard so many great things that are working in your office. I feel like we probably have a great all. I feel like the two of us have a similar- I walk into your office. The vibe is very similar to ours. Our side is a little bigger, but the vibe is the same. And it's funny though, the people, you know, my office has a ping pong table, a pool table, a kegerator, hard liquor.

We have parties at the end of the day a lot for no reason at all because, but it's always it's with me in the old days, I'd be the last to leave. Now, I'm kind of the first to leave. I got to drive 20 miles home, you know, and it's the 20, the 20 somethings are there, having a riot and imagine being in your 20s and at like four o'clock on a Friday You're working you have a nice spear and then you know that there's gonna be a little happy hour after work You play some ping pong and then you go out for the night. How cool is that? That would be fun. I've been talking about that. We should get

20 something get a rosé We should have some alcohol here sometimes But there's some in the fridge. There it is. See? Yeah, we don't drink it nearly enough. But we do have a clasical of sex toys and they have assignments every weekend

to go home and try new vibrators and stuff like that. Yeah, that is the most offices I will say that. But has it ever been like, I guess no one like, like can work complain about working for you? Or like, was there anything because human resources, we always joke here, human resources, you know? But. Yeah, in my office, you get fired

if you don't have porn on your computer. It's really what I am. Yeah, that's kind of the vibe. That is a good one for me. What actually is? You don't. Yeah, hey, what's that? What's that CNN on your computer?

You're fired. That's amazing. So people don't know about this. I feel like it's not porn. It's actually Mr. Skin.com. It's R-rated, really. It's R-rated, but it's all the scenes that you would, because now people aren't fast forwarding

or whatever they see it once and it's gone. But now if there's any celebs or anything, I have a question that they can just go see them naked on your website. Yeah, so what you would do is if there's any actress, let's say you loved Gwyneth Paltrow, and you wanted to know if she ever been nude, you'd search her at my website,

and we'd tell you every movie that she's done a nude scene. We'd tell you how far into the movie, we'd show you picks and clips with a review of each scene and a review of the movie that she was newed in. And we tell you how many movies she was newed in, where she ranks as far as other actresses. You know, a lot of details from, it's a database.

I mean, anyone else wants to do that work? It's a lot of work. And we have over 30,000 actresses chronicle from all over the world, not just famous actresses, but a B movie actress from the 70s will be in our database. And Mr. Man too, right? And Mr. Man is a website we started about five or six years ago.

My team came to me and was like, I think we should do a male nudity website because first of all, there's so much in, and five or six years ago it was really starting now. It's like crazy how much male nudity there was in television and movies. But they were like, listen, we're already going through a game of thrones anyway. Why not get both the new scenes and set up this thing? So we started Mr. Mann about five or six years ago for the same thing Mr. Skindas, but for male nudity and no pun intended, but it's my fastest growing website. It's been the traffic and the success of it has been great.

I'm so happy we did it. And we do a really good job on Mr. Mann.com. You do do a great, I mean, it's very impressive that you've cut up the quality and keeping up with the times that you've really been able to keep innovating on it as well. Well, I talk about this in the book too. It's really important.

I have an incredible team. They're very passionate, just like the people innovating on it as well. You know, I talk about this in the book too. It's really important. I have an incredible team. They're very passionate, just like the people that work here, love working here, they're passionate about it. You need that to have a successful business. But they're also very skilled. When you get six million visitors a month to a website and are doing credit card transactions

and email, we're sending out 250,000 emails a day and all the stuff we do, you need a very sophisticated tech team that knows what the hell they're doing. We do, plus we are leaders in the industry, and it's the adult industry, but we're at the our rated section of the adult industry, but we're still considered adult. We're leaders as far as technology,

and when you go to shows, we're very prominent, as you know, you've seen this everywhere. AVN and things like that. I even did a keynote address one year at the AVN. And it's, yeah, so we're very respected, but it's because I have such good people working for me. That's true, but I know you talk about all this the business part of the book,

but like how, with the growth part, like were you being the main, the face of it, and then you're growing this really successful business Like what is some of your best? I know I started with some of this still you know What is some of what your best tips for that like being in charge being the boss but then keeping people happy Yeah managing everything and being the talent and being the business. Yeah, well, it's hard one of the things I've been working on over the last five years and I think I've been good at, is just realizing what I'm not good at, which is everything except being Mr. Skins.

Exactly. In other words, I'm not technical when it comes to getting picks and clips. I'm not a designer, I'm not a developer. So I hired really good people. Even the day-to-day running of the company, I stepped aside and I let a guy, Sam, who's the president, Sam's awesome. He's the running of the company, I stepped aside and I let a guy, Sam, who's the president, yes, Sam's awesome. He's the president of my company, and he runs the day-to-day business.

My job is to be the face of the company, to come out to LA and do this kind of interview. All the big decisions go through me. What do you get there? It took me a while. It took me 15 years to get to that point, but. So I've got another. It's the smartest thing I ever did because you got another year to go. It's the smartest thing I ever did because quite frankly if you want to have a successful business it can't

rely it all on you because if who wants to take over your business if you're not around or you know or you it just you have to the business has to succeed you're just got to be a part of it. There has to be other reasons as successful, not just because of you. Right, right. No, that makes sense. Okay.

I have a question for you now too. I've been wanting to check back with you on this. What was this? Survey came out that said, it was a very extensive survey. And it said that the top three actors, actresses that men, or anyone fantasizes about, right? Are the three Jennifer's. And I'm wondering if Mr. Skin is the same.

If they're ever, it's JLo. Jennifer Aniston. And then Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Lawrence. Yeah. Yeah. People ask me like, who are the most popular actresses at MrSkin.com?

And I usually say, well, they're probably the same who are the most popular at Google. In other words, if they're popular in the mainstream media for movies and television, they're popular at my website. It's not just because they've been nude, they've become popular. So, yes, in the history of my website, I'd say Jennifer Aniston is in the top 10 most search in the history. Alissa Malano from the old days is also probably in the top 10, but like someone like Jennifer Lawrence has come on the scene in the last five to 10 years.

And she's obviously very popular. So yeah, those, and JLo, when I launched, remember when she wore that dress to the Grammys in like 1998, like that freaks everyone out, like she went through the roof. And since then has always maintained some level of popularity and celebrity.

And I just thought that you would know. How would it be out of the time? Oh yeah, no, yeah. I can't find her. No, thank you. I figured that that actually, that does make sense. So in 20 years, how do you think it's changed the response? Or do you think a lot of it stayed the same?

People are still happy that you're fast forwarded to the good parts of finding all the nudity, like in writing your book too. I mean, there's so much in here about, you know, your process, but for you, how has it changed? Have you seen James's? Yeah, I think the big difference is when I started, I was the only game in town and you couldn't, you know, you couldn't go to YouTube or you couldn't go to Twitter or Facebook

or wherever it is to get answers to questions. So that was, you know, we just like, it was incredible the amount of members and people, but looking now, I get it a lot from people where they say, okay, there's so much free stuff on the internet, why would someone pay a subscription to see nudity at your website? And my answer is, do you know how many television shows today there are with nudity now?

It's like 146 across 37 different platforms, you know, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, all of original programming. And it's like because there's so much, there's an actual website that dedicates all their efforts to following this for you and putting it in a website and reviewing all of it and having it all in there. So there are people out there that are willing to pay a monthly fee for that expertise and that work. Instead of you trying to figure out where all this stuff is and where can I go to 30 different places to find it. So it's funny. We're actually in the golden age of celebrity nudity because

there's so much of it now more than we've ever had in history. I mean, I can't even, like how do you even keep up with all of it? And you could just turn around. Yeah, I can't. There were 19 television shows in 1999, 19, 19 television shows.

That had nudity. Now there's 147. Wow. So, you know, and people still couldn't believe how much there was with 19 plus all the movies, you know, there was movies now There's I'd say there's a little less of movies mainly because we were catering to a PG-13 world as far as movies like A lot of money now is spent in that world

Which is very nudity free, right? You know PG-13 movies they'll have violence, but they won't have nudity, right? But television is more than made up the difference. So now you guys are even a lot busier. So how quick is a turnaround? Is there a new, is there like your skin turns? Yeah, so like Sunday night, I know, I know, I know, I have skin turns. It's amazing.

Yeah, so like Sunday night, there'll be all those television shows, Game of Thrones, whatever it's on, cable. When you wake up in the morning, you go on Mr. Skid at Carmen's already there. That's what you guys are amazing. I want to come to your office. It's fun. Oh, you see, we have new offices.

They're really cool. They're really good. How do you keep it interesting for you after all these years? Well, I just think the challenge of trying to do better every year than the last is just that competitiveness is something. And I just to see like when I'm at my office, that I'm now at the point where it's so exciting for me to see how excited everyone is,

whereas that used to be me all excited now. I'm excited that they're excited. And that's fun. That is fun. No, I totally get it. Yeah. Yeah like I said, I'm not in the trenches day to day doing the Monday, not Monday, but you know, the day to day business stuff. No, not at all. Everything that's done at that website, I've done it at some point. But now I have people that are way better than I ever was at it. And that's why the website is so good. Yeah, I mean, it's great.

I mean, I think couples, like, do you ever hear couples are watching it together? Oh yeah. Well, a lot of times, I know women like to come to Mr. Skin and it's funny why, because they like to kind of compare. Like if someone, OK, so Jennifer Lawrence was new to Red Sparrow, I want to see that. I want to see what she looks like naked. It's a funny thing with women.

I don't know if it's like a competitive thing, or they just kind of, I find that a lot where they're really interested in seeing it. Not just like how guys want to do it. Right, not. To be titillated, more out of curiosity. And I get that all the time from women. Like they can't believe that this actress did a nude scene

so they want to go on the website and check it out. Right, it's good work that you're doing here. Well, thank you. It is. No, I mean, I'm happy for you. I'm like, writing the book and like, being out here and like, you're doing, are you doing TV too? You're doing podcast stuff. Yeah, in Chicago TV stuff, but I just did Adam Corolla's podcast. Yeah, he did your forward. He did the forward for my book, which is really nice. I'll be doing Dr. Drew. you're a good buddy's podcast. He loves you.

Yeah, he's awesome. Who doesn't love Mr. Skin? Oh my God. Loveable. Congratulations on your 20 years. I want to ask you, would you rather questions that we ask our guests? Oh, sure.

Ready? Yeah. Would you rather make love in the shower or on the kitchen table? Kitchen table. OK. Would you rather get a lap dance or a strip tease? Strip tease. Would you rather have sex with it? Would you rather get a lap dance or strip tease? Strip tease. Would you rather have sex with it? Would you rather have sex? Uh oh, where's this guy? Some of these I just

I told you. Would you would you rather have sex the corpse or never have sex again? Wow. I'd go never have sex again, but I hope that way. That's exactly the question that I asked when I saw it. I was like, because if it was one day dead, sounds bad. What is that? What is the expression? Blue is the color of my true love, so don't forget it. Yeah. Oh my God.

Okay. Would you rather walk around with an erection from 6 a.m. to 5.59 p.m. or never be able to have erection from 6 p.m. to 5.59 a.m. Geez Louise. That's a that's a tough one. I know I know I go I I'd probably go with the night the night stick versus the day Okay, you did well. I don't know, but how do you know if I did well? What's the answer to this question?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'll give you some toys. Okay, everybody, you have to check out being Mr. Skin 20 years of nip slips, cheek peaks, and fast forwarding to the good parts. Learn a lot about how he grows his business,

his mind about the, I mean, just, you in like the top 10 new scenes. Like there's a lot of great difference, entertaining. It's a good business manual, and it's a good time, and I'm proud of you. Well, thank you so much. Thank you for being here, Mr. Skin.com. Check it all out.

All right, guys, we're going to take a quick break and we come back. We're going to get in to your emails. All right, guys, I love answering your questions. So I'm here on the planet. It's my favorite thing to do. I want to help you guys a better sex. So if you want a question answered on the show,

go to sexathendly.com, click the Ask Emily tab, fill out the short form, or feed back at sexathendly.com. However you do it, include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. Thanks guys. All right, Jamie, you want to read the first email? Okay. This first one comes to us from Lance, who's 53 in Utah.

Dear Emily, you talk about sharing your fantasies with your partner. My question is, how far do you go with the answers? What I mean is I have a fantasy about having another man join us, but I'm not sure if she'll be into that or not. So I think those kinds of fantasies would be OK. But I assume you don't say I'd like to have sex with the hot

mom next door. So how do you know how deep you go and what do you share? My other question is you say that don't use porn as an example, however when watching porn there are some things I see that I think would be pretty hot. For example the girls tied up with ropes, etc. So what's the best way to bridge that with your partner? Watch and say hey, would you like to try that or just ask her not sure. Love your show, listen to every episode and always look forward to the new ones.

All right, Lance, okay, sounds like you do listen to the show, and I'm so glad you listened to the episodes because you get it, you know, that you don't just say, let's invite Seth, Thursday, you know, to hot neighbor next door over for a threesome. We're not gonna do it that way. I think the best thing to do is to have a conversation with your partner about your sex life overall.

One of these conversations where you're just saying, you is to have a conversation with your partner about your sex life overall. One of these conversations where you're just saying, you know, I've been thinking about our sex life and I have some things I want to try. I'd love to know if you have any fantasies. I'd love to like take this to another level with you. I trust you. I hope you trust me. Let's have some conversation.

And then you could say, how would you feel? I think it would be hot to have another man join us. Now, here's what I want in no lands. Are you interested in being with a man? Are you interested in watching her with a man? I guess that's something for you to figure out together, but those might also have very different reactions, but it sounds I'm thinking it's that you want, you probably want to see her with someone else.

So maybe it's a little cuckold fantasy here. So I would just say, again, you guys remember, these are micro conversations about sex. It doesn't have to all come out. This could be very overwhelming to a partner to have everything come out in one conversation. So the first one could be, I've been thinking about exploring things with you,

have there been things you want to try, and then get into specifically, you know, I've had fantasies about having a third, how would you think about another man coming in? I think it would be hot, and then you've explained why, like what you think would be hot about, maybe how it would all go down. I think that everybody chooses to talk to their partner

about fantasies or anything, have to remember that your partner's gonna probably, maybe they've never heard it before, or they're gonna go to the worst case scenario on their head. They're gonna think, are they gonna leave me if I don't do it? Does it mean that I'm not enough? So I think the less we say, like the less we try to get it all out, just to have it done, and we, more we have a conversation

where we're doing some active listening, the better. The other part of this is porn. I love that this quite I love that you're bringing up this question here because you're right. I it probably does sound like I perhaps sometimes been giving mixed messages around porn. I don't think that technically you know, it lands you're 53, but I'm talking about young people. Well, it's actually people, Valle just now who watch porn and assume that this is how porn, this is how wheel sex happens. So I have a problem people think technically all women want to be choked without asking, or everyone wants a threesome, or every woman can have an orgasm just through intercourse.

Like these are when I have a problem with porn where I think, no, this is not technically how it goes down. Where I think porn is useful is exactly what you're talking about. You've seen some scenes in porn that you think would be super, you know, you're like, I would love to tie you up, babe, and here's what I had in mind. And then you show her a specific scene and you're like, to do this thing with ropes or to have some kind of handcuffs, that would be a really hot thing to say. So I think that's exactly how you do it. You say, would you be interested in this?

There's some scenes that you like in porn. We could both, you know, you could watch it together, but I think that's really the best case scenario to use it. And you can kind of separate fancy from reality in porn as well. Just to clarify, when I say don't use porn, I mean, it's not necessarily a step-by-step guide about how to have sex,

but it's great for some isolated scenes that you might see that you'd like to try with your partner. I think it's great that way. I think it can work. Just fine. Use porn wisely. Okay, this next one comes to us from a Kayley who's 22 in New England. Hey Emily, I've been listening to your podcast for a few weeks now and I'm obsessed.

I feel like I'm learning so much and I've found so much hope in enhancing my sex life. It's a long story so I'll give you the cliff note version here. I gave my best friend of 10 years of chance and started dating him 8 months ago. He so hands him in such an amazing man, but transitioning from best friends to sexual partners has been so tough. Do you have any advice on how to navigate this type of situation and increase our sexual chemistry? I love him and he's amazing in every single other way.

I could just use some help aligning us sexually. Is that even possible? I really want it to work. Hey, Kaylee, thanks for your email. Okay, so here's the thing. So you're saying you're 22 and you've been best friends since you were 12. So this is different than, let's say, if you were 44 now and you met at 34, you guys met before sex was even a thing. You were like best friends, right? You probably had sleepovers and your families are friends and the whole thing. So now at 22, to try to make it sexual, it's

interesting to explain this to you. It's anything as possible here. But it sounds to me like, was this more of a intellectual decision like, oh, we are such best friends that we should obviously be romantically linked. And so to kind of try to think your way into a relationship can be challenging. Was there time or has there were time when you actually find him attractive and you find him sexy and when he touches you, do you ever feel any kind of thrill or when you kiss? Because that's kind of what I'm looking for. It's really hard to create chemistry where there never was any chemistry,

like not even a spark. But if there's a little bit of chemistry and you feel like it's hard because you're not really sure how to navigate, I would say that it would be interesting to have some talks about maybe some mutual masturbation where you're both showing each other how you get turned on. And maybe some just really open talks about what you if you happen to know what you're into sexually what you think

about sexually I think that you know it could be fun to kind of roleplay as strangers now here be out a lot of you are like a roleplaying that so Hokiya laughed the whole time but if you guys play like sexy strangers or you meet a bit of bar or at a party or something and you pretend you don't really know each other and you become, you get that spark to where you first, there's that newness that happens and why this works for couples who have been together forever

is because once they get past the giggling or the weirdness, they're like, oh yeah, I really believe that you or someone I didn't know and you had your alter ego because we can suspend it you guys. We can suspend what we already, what we know to be true for a moment or two or for an evening. So I think role-playing as strangers

could be really fun for you guys and maybe it could be a reset for you to see more as a sexual person than as your best friend that you used to run through the sprinklers with when you were a kid. That's always fun. It is fun. I think it is.

I feel like it should be more acceptable to do that as an adult, but you know. To be naked around the sprink fun. I think it is. I feel like it should be more acceptable to do that as an adult. To be naked around this sprinkler. Yeah. I mean. Alright. This next one comes to us from Stephen, who's 36 in Indiana. Hi Emily, long time listen over the show, so thank you for what all you do.

My question is this. My wife and I have been trying to do random new sex acts each month to add a little fun slash bicep r sex life, which is wonderful. However, some of the things on the list, I have a hard time actually doing. Some of them are some of my biggest fantasies, like giving her a facial, coming in her mouth, but when actually push comes to shove, it's hard for me to do it. Is this normal and do we have any tips for overcoming this? Thank you. All right, well, first of all, Steven, I'm so glad you've been enjoying the show and listening to it for a long time. So if you guys are trying to do random new acts of sex, have you actually told her that

you'd like to give her a facial, that you'd like to come in her face, or that you'd like to come in her mouth? So I'm wondering if the reason, if she actually, when I read this, I read this twice. I couldn't tell if she had actually said to you, yeah babe, let's try out these new things and that you actually can't do it now, or you're afraid that that will be too much. And this, let's say you have talked about it. And she's like, yeah, sure come by face.

Maybe you just even say to her maybe before sex, like when you're, like I think it's hot for God's talk, dirty, so if you're like, I'm gonna, when we're having sex tonight, like I'm gonna come on your face, or I can't wait to, you know, come in your mouth tonight when you're like I think it's hot for God to talk dirty So if you're like I'm gonna when we're having sex tonight like I'm gonna come on your face Or I can't wait to you know come in your mouth tonight when you're going down on me Like if you say it verbally ahead of time then she's already gonna know it's coming It's a little bit of dirty talking your way into it

Which is also a great way to test out something new you want to try with a partner is when you dirty talk through it And since you guys have such open communication Maybe you start with that and then like the next day or later with a partner is when you dirty talk through it. And since you guys have such open communication, maybe you start with that, and then like the next day or later just be like, how did that sound to you? That's something you'd be into. But I gotta be honest, if this is something that you've already talked about and you just can't do it,

it's like ripping a band-aid off, you guys. I know that having a conversation about sex or doing something sexual can be really scary to try the first time, just any of these things is scary, but when you do it, it is rip and abandoned. You just do what you say. I know this is awkward. I know this might sound weird.

We've never talked about it, but I want to come in your face tonight. I think if you have, or just come in her face with something she's approved of, and you're still nervous about it. Because if you have a hard time actually doing it, and you're putting in all caps here, it's your biggest fantasy. I say you just got a lot of rip, especially if she's approved of it. And if not, be honest with her.

You guys have been together a long time, it's your wife, she might even be into it. She might even want a facial, she might want it in her mouth. So just be honest with her and it'll make it a lot easier. Or if you've already, she's already approved, just do it, rip the bandaid off, and let her know you're gonna do it ahead of time.

All right, Steven, also, if it turns out, it's not your thing, and it feels uncomfortable, and you're like, no, I did not like that, then guess what? Yindepur have to do it again. That's the thing with sex, you guys. I think try everything out, you know, with consent with your partner once.

See how it feels, and if you wanna do it again. This is how we learn how to become great lovers to ourselves and others, by actually testing out the things you want to do and checking in and see how it works. This next one comes to us from Rob, who's 34, in the good old U.S. of A. I really want to use some type of massage oil that's natural with my wife. She's big time in tolystic products and is freaked out about getting any type of reactions. Is there any type of natural product that can allow me to massage her legs but ultimately herbagina without causing reactions

to herbagina? All right, well Rob, we have just a thing for you. I feel like I read this and I'm like, woo more play, woo more play is amazing. It's coconut oil, they call it coconut love oil. Vanilla extract, it has beeswax in it, it's all natural ingredients, it tastes amazing and it's a massage oil slash lube and I'm telling you we are all huge

fans of it around here because when you rub this coconut oil on each other's bodies or all over her it's going to feel so good to her and to you I mean you could even like you'll see how easy you can glide and slide. They also now make freshies, which is also at the same company, Wumor Play, and they're after sex wives, which is really fun to clean up after the aftermath. We love them. Michelle was here, she'd be telling you that she actually, a few nights, she was like, I'm going to use my vibrator, and then she used the Wumor Play. She works with us and shesett and orgasm.

Just have one right away. So it feels amazing. I think you've got to check it out. It's sexwithamely.com slash woo. This last one comes to us from CJ, who's 25 in Alaska. Hi, Sex with Emily family. Want a real quick say that I fucking love you guys. The show has truly changed my life and learning how to openly communicate what I want with my partner in and out of the bedroom as well as so much more. I tell everyone about this show. so keep being passionate about changing sex game.

So, I've been dating my boyfriend for a while now, and we're very open about our sex life, communicating what we want, and trying new things. We listen to the show together in the car. And it's a great way to talk about things you wouldn't think to just bring up yourself. Which brings me to, he wants me to do anal play, which I'm totally cool with, but I don't really know what to do Yes, we use Loub uber loop. Thanks to you. It's the shit I'll put it on my finger and slowly put it in after I've been giving him oral for a bit But what next do I move it back and forth up and down in and out? Where is his prostate? Can you explain to me what to do once I'm all up in it? All right, CJ. I love your enthusiasm here. You guys sound awesome All right, find the prostate.

Here's the thing, it's very similar to finding your G area or your G spot. So you start slow, you use some loop, which you're already doing. Make sure that your hands are clean, your nails are trimmed, because you know, that's a very sensitive area. There's a lot of nerve endings outside of it.

So you wanna loop up your finger, slide it in about two inches, right? And then you do, like, and I would start with your finger, slide it in about two inches, right? And then you do, like, and I was out with one finger, and the kind of like a cum-hether motion. You could use your pinky, you could use your pointer finger, and that cum-hether motion is going towards his belly button, much like how we do with the G-spot. So, and then you're going to feel like a different textured area, kind of like a peach pit feeling, it's a little bit rougher,

and then you use your finger, and you just apply direct pressure on it, you do small movements, and it's more of like a grinding motion, so it's not like an in and out penetration, it's more like you could even leave your finger in, or like a slightly in and out of your pressure, applying pressure, applying pressure.

Now you might not find it the first time, that's okay. You can also get a great prostate toy. You could also get something like bieneros or the black pearl from Vibratex we love. But it also helps much like the G-Spot for him to be already turned on. So he might want to already have an orgasm,

he might want to already be like making out and ready for it, and that makes it also easier, much like the juice pot. So, good luck to you. I love your enthusiasm. I love that you're doing it. And we also have some blogs on our site about this as well. That should be very helpful to you.

Thank you, CJ. All right, great questions today. Thank you, Jamie, and thank you guys too. Thank you to all of you for listening to to the show for supporting the show for subscribing We love when you subscribe. We love when you share an episode with your friends It's that easy if you're like, oh my god. I wish my sister knew this or which my best friend knew it Set him the episode tell him to listen in I think that everybody's a little bit more open now to podcasts to listen to podcasts, but also

You know you guys didn't have this information before you started listening, so share along with your friends. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, of course, Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithamleeve.com. you