Sex With Emily - No Shame in the Game: Sex Toys for All

Episode Date: May 17, 2017

When it comes to sex toys (and masturbation in general), it’s the women who tend to steal the industry’s focus. However, men can also benefit from a little extra stimulation—with a partner or by themselves! On today’s show, Emily is speaking with We-Vibe’s Global Passion Ambassador, Tristan Weedmark, about how their brand is making sure everyone is getting what they need. Oh, and she’s answering your emails, of course! Why use lube during oral if you have saliva? Is dating your hot housemate really the best idea? How do you last longer when your ex conditioned you to a “hard and fast” sex life? Emily settles these sex and dating debates, plus she gives a rundown of fun, sexy and surprising facts about good ol’ masturbation. Whether you’re considering giving sex toys a first try, you want to improve your masturbation routine or you want to know just how dirty the British are, this show pulls out all the stops. Don’t miss it! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Sportsheets, System JO, Intensity and We-Vibe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm tackling your sex and relationship questions. Topics include, why masturbation is an important part of a healthy sex life? How love can spice up your oral sex routine? Should you date a hot housemate and what to do when your penis has a mind of its own? Also, I'm talking with Tristan Weedmark, the global passion Ambassador at WeBib. Thanks for listening. Come and eat here, you just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. Thank you so much for listening to the show.

You can check us out on our website, all the amazing content we have. You can subscribe to the Sex with Emily podcast. You'll never miss a show again, which is why would you ever miss a show? We do two shows a week. Follow us on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter. It's all at Sex with Emily. So welcome to the show, everybody. Okay, guys, and Twitter, it's all at sex with Emily. So welcome to the show, everybody. Okay, guys, I got a special masturbation challenge for you.

Yes, it's still masturbation month. You have a few weeks left to up your masturbation game. We've been giving you lots of great tips this month, and I'm gonna get to more depth in that on this show. But if you email me your favorite masturbation routine, you know, do a special ritual, a toy that you love to use, like it's kind of stroke that you're telling me I've never heard of, music, a scent,, you know, do a special ritual, a toy that you love to use, like it's kind of stroke that you've seen I've never heard of, music, a scent, turned you on, whatever

it is I want to know. Email me, go to sexwithamely.com and just navigate to the Ask Emily tab and you can send it there or email me feedback at sexwithamely.com if you're over 18 and submit your email before midnight on May 31st we're giving you until until midnight, you guys. It's like serious. You can do this. You'll be eligible to win a Sex the Endless Masterbation Month of prize. We'll select four winners based on your emails.

And what we do in here is my trusty sex with the endless team because we want to give you some prizes. I love it. I love doing that. So email me. Also, you guys check out my subscription box. It's on my website more information, but it is by Unbound Box. And this month, it my subscription box. It's on my website more information, but it is by

unbound box and this month it's quarterly box. And this box of course is all about mutual masturbation. So it's a great box filled with some of my favorite things that you guys can meet truly masturbate together, which is one of my favorite pastimes. And we'll really be a great tool for you to reconnect with your partner, upping intimacy and having a good time. So check out that box, subscribe to it. And also, I'm going to be at Wanderlust in Los Angeles on May 20th for their intimacy and sexuality symposium. That's in Hollywood. And I'm going to be presenting communication as a lubrication.

I mean, what else did you think I'd be talking about, right? So there's a limited amount of tickets. You can get 25% off if you use the code sexytime to redeem. It's an all day symposium. Waterlesson is an amazing spot. I'm so excited to meet everybody there. And I hope to see you. Okay guys, I hope that your masturbation month

has been going well. And I know a lot of you make jokes like really like isn't everyday masturbation day or why do we need to focus on masturbation? And that's because you guys masturbation like understanding your body and what makes you feel good is like the key, the key to having an amazing sex life, but also just a healthy life overall.

And for women and men, and I get that the way that women and men approach masturbation is very different, I think for a lot of guys, I'm not saying all guys, but they're like, yeah, I just do it and I do it every day or whenever and I don't really think about it. Or you know, a lot of guys have questions about, am I doing it too much?

Am I not doing it often enough? Am I doing it right? Am I watching too much porn? You know, and also for women, I think a lot of the questions I get asked is are women just like, I'm not in the mood. I don't do it anymore or I'm in a relationship and is it really right to do it?

But then also I think women who think that they are limited and again, this goes to men as well. If you feel like you're having sex and this is how sex is always going to be, maybe you know the one or two positions that get you off or maybe you've never gotten off during masturbation. Talking to the women, I mean during intercourse. And you just think that your body is like set.

That like the way you've had sex is the way you're always going to have sex. I'm going to tell you if you want to have the best sex in your life and you want to keep expanding your sexual repertoire and you want to have a healthy sex life your life and you want to keep expanding your sexual repertoire and you want to have a healthy sex life, so much of that start with masturbation. It's taken that time alone to understand your body oh, it makes you feel good. So for women, you know, if you're like,

ah, yeah, I just go in, I do it, I use my vibrator, I use my fingers, and I'm done, I'm telling you that if you put some extra time in to start exploring your body and touching your body all over and using different strokes all over and and using different strokes and different touches and different positions. Like if you over you always master band your back then like flip over a master band your stomach. And if you've never fantasized before you know fantasies like a huge part of a rousal and getting you

turn on and keeping you turned on. So if you're one of these women who say to me, I don't even think about masturbation. I don't even think about sex. I'm too busy. What's your start thinking about sex and keeping it top of mind? And this will happen the more you masturbate, the more you're going to want to masturbate, and you're going to want to have sex just like going to the gym or eating healthy after while it becomes like part of your routine. The same goes for sex. So I encourage you this month next time you masturbate, be like, you know what? I'm going to read this erotic art.

I'm going to try this toy. I'm going to try something a little bit different because I promise you the more that you do it, you'll realize, I'm gonna read this erotic art. I'm gonna try this toy. I'm gonna try something a little bit different because I promise you the more that you do it, you'll realize, oh wow, I can have multiple orgasms. I didn't know that my out of labia were as sensitive as my clitoris because you guys, you know, we've got 8,000 nerve endings going on in there and they're all connected.

So, you know, take this and use lube. We're talking about lube, a lot of lube and just kind of explore this month. And for the guys, I know you think that you know, like, oh, this feels good. I swear, I always do it, use my hand. But there's a lot of exploring for men to do as well. I mean, really, you might think you don't like your balls touch

because one time it might hurt, but guess what? If you touch your balls, there might be some sweet spots on there that you never knew felt good. Or different parts of your penis that you didn't know are more sensitive than others. I think you guys think you know your penis, but have you really slowed down your masturbation routine? Have you ever tried

edging? If you're a guy who, you know, let's say you, you come quicker than you want to, right? You can practice edging where you, you know, you start to masturbate until you're about to go over like the point of no return and then you slow down again. And so like there's different things that you could do to like work with your body to figure out how to have better sex and just better sensations and more pleasure. Because that's what I'm all about. Helping you have more pleasure and my own pleasure.

Come on, if I wasn't getting some out of this, I probably wouldn't be doing it either, right? I mean, I can tell you I started this show because I was like, you, I was like, I don't have enough information about sex and I want to have better sex in 12 years, I gotta say. It's a lot better than it was, but I don't think I'm ever done and you're never done. So I want to open here with a masturbation month fact sheet I got We Vibed Did a Study.

Far more people in the US are open to the idea of wearing sex toys underneath their clothing in public. You may be thinking Emily, what the hell does that mean? Have you ever used vibrating panties? Have you ever bought a pair? They are great. I used to talk about these years ago on the show and I feel like I need to bring them back. So we sell one on our website by secrets. It's called the Secrets Remote Control Vibrating Lace Thong. I think it comes in several colors, but here's why it's fun you guys. You could have like a date with your partner

and you can say I'm gonna wear this tonight. You wear the panties. They're like one size fits all and it's a little vibrator in it, right? And then you give the remote to your partner and you can say, I'm going to wear this tonight. You wear the panties. They're like one size fits all and it's a little vibrator in it, right? And then you give the remote to your partner and then you go out and, oh, you don't know you're ordering a drink of the bar and starts vibrating you or maybe you're out with your parents. You have to bring your partner and it's like a boring dinner and you vibrates. You're like something that's sort of like naughty or different where you think like, oh, we might get caught or I can't believe he's vibrating you and I'm talking to my boss

at the company party. I would even let that be cool with my employees if they did that. So anyway, just you guys always want to spice up your relationship. It's a great way to do it. Okay, in the UK, I always thought they're a little premium proper

in the UK, apparently though, there awareness of butt plugs and anal beads far surpasses other markets. I don't know what that's about. I have tons of listeners in the UK. I'd like to hear about your experience with butt plugs and or anal beads. And then also in the Netherlands, the Dutchmen speak in a far more practical manner about masturbation. I don't know if it's like I'm going to now go masturbate and take my pants down and watch porn. But I don't

know. I like that you're practical. Maybe you're really efficient too. Okay you guys. So I just wanted to give you some masturbation facts around the world. So now you know. Okay guys, I'm really excited to have Tristan Weedmark on the show She's the global passion ambassador for Wevibe and we've Ibe is known for their high quality toys Say if they are toy technology, which is why I've always been a fan and why we like only work with the best products Best companies and that's why I'm always like confident like wherever I go. I'm like oh just like the touch the tank But like no matter what the situation calls for I'm like you need the sink, you know, it's like I feel very confident about it. They do really set the bar high for other manufacturers. And we're going to get into what goes on behind the scenes to help weave our remain one of the most innovative sex toy makers in town.

And Tristan, thank you for coming. Thank you for having me. I'm so glad you're here. Me too. So tell me about yourself. What's your background? How did you become the passion ambassador? So I went to school for social anthropology and learned a lot about cross-cultural human sexuality. That paired with some psychology background and consumer behavior.

And we vibe happening to be in my hometown. I knew I had to work there. So I literally banged on the door until they let me in. You did, I did. Aggressive, they like that, persistent. So you got in. So what's your role with what does that mean, passion, ambassador, exactly? So I take all of the information that we get from consumers and from new innovations from

our product development team and turn that into tips and tricks that we can share with the Wevibe audience. So all of that really great information that we get from market research, academic research, prototype testing, turn that into information that we can share and hopefully help couples and joysticks more. So, you're talking to people who actually use,

you like afterward you go and send them like fill out the survey. What do you like? Okay, how long have you been working with them? About five years. Okay. I guess what's the latest that you're working on? Is there anything that's happening now, like 2017, that's been most interesting?

Well, as you know, we recently launched Wevibe Sync, which is the latest of our couples vibrators. And we're really excited about that because we've taken years of feedback from consumers and put it all into this product. So this is the fifth version of our couples vibrator and we've taken all the feedback we've received over the last however many years and turned it into this. So everything you see in sync is a direct request from consumers. I was saying it's funny because I just moved and I moved, I was in a place that I'd been in

for three and a half years by Muters and Muters. I just go point as I had all my toys and I still had the first revive. Like the other, I have these sentimental places in my heart, but I think it's time I have the sink now. I don't need one, two, one, two, four plus. So that was, yeah, the sink is so cool. We've talked a lot about on the show,

the technology, how it's so great for couples to use like long distance relationships and like just that that's the way like toys are going out and that you can move it around. It's a perfect fit for everybody. And we're going to get, I want to get into that in a minute because I, we're going to get into all the products, but I want to know because the thing that, that always sends out to is there's so many toy companies now. And they're just kind of always like whipping out thinking like oh here's 16 new toys

But I know that we vibe like it's very unique. I know your founders are like really smart You can they're behind it and that I want to know about like the development of a new pleasure part of like what is the process Sure, so it's actually quite involved and it takes a lot longer than you might expect to create a new sex wife from we vibe And that process really starts with innovation brainstorms if we're creating something brand new, where all the functional groups within the organization really say, what can we create or what can we do better? And then that idea, whatever we come up with,

moves into the product development cycle. So we start to do drawings and see what products are going to look like, look at new technologies. And then we create prototypes. That's one of the big areas for WeVib is our prototype testing so that we're making sure that the products that we think in theory are great actually turn out to be great in practice. So all of the products are prototyped and tested before they ever get to being in a

consumer's hands. So you have like a team of people who are like, try this out, what'd you do back? That's so smart, because I go, I think that's another thing that why you guys stand about the rest, because I don't think that a lot of companies, I've never even heard they do that. So I know that a lot of products, I mean, it's changed so much.

Not like in the last 12 years, I've been doing this, put a lot of them about women's pleasure. But now, what if you found with the men's interest in toys? I think that that's a really, really important question, because especially for something like a couples product, we focus so heavily on the benefits for women because the couples vibrators designed to wear during sex.

So it's providing stimulation directly to the clitoris and the g-spot, which is great. But we often forget that our male partners are getting a lot of the benefits of the product as well. And one of those, the most basic of benefits is the increased physical pleasure from the vibration that they're receiving along the shaft of their penis.

But I don't know that before. They're like, I do not know vibrations are for me. I'm like, try it. You will get it. And I think that at its most basic level is that the increased vibration during sex is something that we can all appreciate. But above that is that when we did a little bit of research,

we learned that men really were responding to seeing their partners in joy sex more. And that's something that I think we take for granted a little bit as women because we see our partners in joy sex all the time. So having the male partner see their partner be in the throes of pleasure was something that really turned them on. Right.

Exactly. And so then the sink does that because it's kind of what we mean. I know we, I mean, I've talked about it so many times, but it is a toy that you, I mean, there's so many different ways to use it. I've learned over the years, but it is made as a cup to wear it during in a course. So you know, he, she wears it. I've learned over the years, but it is made as a cup to wear it during intercourse. So, you know, she wears it, it hits her, it can be her G-spot, intercliterus. Like, and then you want to explain it because you're the passion ambassador we've have and I've just talked about it in my own terms. But yeah, how would you explain it now?

So, how it is, how it sits today? So, the, you see, the couple's vibrators, if you wanted to imagine it, it's kind of shaped like a C. So the bottom part of the C goes into the vagina and rests up against the G spot. And then the top part of the C stays outside of the body and rests on the clitoris and provides a lot of vulva stimulation. And then the male partner, where a dildo, if you prefer, slides in underneath,

and everyone gets to enjoy the vibration. So it's used during sex, but as you mentioned, there's tons of different ways you can wear it. Keep that in your job. Yeah, love it. You can wear it out in public and use the We Connect app. Right. Date night a little more exciting. Exactly.

Well, that's what I was going to say. So thinking about bringing men into an essay that women don't love technology, I love that you can use the app with it. I think some people might not get it. I kept saying this to like, you know, I've hung out a lot with you. You're holding the Weibo team. I love all of love that you can use the app with it. And I think some people might not get it. I kept saying this to like, you know, I've hung out a lot with you, you're holding the Weeb team. I love all of you really. Like we had a blast in Germany, we did all that.

I was like, what? I don't think that people get it. Like I say, use the app and I've explained it, but I want them to see it. We did a funny little like Instagram thing and we're using it, but it's like, I mean, you guys would always say, you could be with your partner.

You could be like the out of the party together. And like, like she's wearing it, interpanies or something. And then you are literally, you have your phone and you could be like the, I did a party together and like, she's wearing it, interpanies or something and then you or literally, you have your phone and you're sliding it up and down and as you move your hands up and down the app, you're vibing or, you know, or in a long distance relationship, it works from anywhere. I think it's so cool.

It is so cool. Do you think it's gotten more couples interested, men interested in that as well? I think so. I can kind of see this. Because it used to be back in the day that you'd be like, toys are not going to replace you. It won't go to the farmer's market with it.

You can't coddle. And I think we've kind of gone beyond that. I still get emails sometimes. But now it's more like, wow, it's technology. That's kind of cool. Do you feel that's sort of resonated? Yeah, I think that the technology and go really helps because you get to have more

refined control over the product. So you're creating the product. You're either adjusting it or playing with the app. So it fits you rather than you trying to over the product. So you're creating the product, you're either adjusting it or playing with the app, so it fits you rather than you trying to fit the product. And I think that that's a really big benefit. So being able to create your own custom vibration playlists or being able to connect from anywhere in the world. And when you're in a connection from anywhere, you can see your partner, you can hear them, you can chat with them. You can do all of that securely within the app so that your relationship has a place to exist,

even when you're not together. Right, that's so great. It's in Epic, it's like a FaceTime, but in the app. You can see what they're doing, you can see, and it's private. Yeah. And you can only share it with one person. Have you any surprising stories or things that you've heard from couples who have used it? You must get all the feedback.

Yeah, one of my favorite stories is from a couple that's in a long distance relationship. One of the partners lives in Canada and the other in the UK, and when we first launched the app, they emailed me and told me know that they successfully had sex across the Atlantic. Nice. And I think that that's so great that we're able to

give people the ability to stay intimate even when they're apart. And one of my other favorite stories that I'll never forget, it stays with me, is that in older couple, they were reaching their 80s, bought a Wevibe. And for the first time in their relationship, and I think they'd been together for 60 years or something, wild, and they said that they were able to have an orgasm at the same time. And to have the male partner email us and tell us this and be so open about it was really nice to hear because the product worked in a way that facilitated a deeper intimate level

of their relationship because he had never seen her orgasm during sex before. Which is something really special. Yeah, right, right. That's, oh, I love that. Yeah. It can happen. It will happen to you. It will.

But that's why a couple's, people are like, what do you mean a couple's toy? This is, you guys, like, coin couples toy, like, the market on it. And the toy, like, you came up with that. And I think that's just brilliant. Because also, going back to the factor of, and I'm not saying that guys are, maybe I don't hear from this much, or women even still, there's some women too, or like, I don't wanna use it. I don't wanna use a toy. Why would I need that if I have my hands?

But I love that using the sink really does enhance that connection and enhance that intimacy, or any toy really, but it makes it things possible. That's what I try to explain. It's like, no, you don't need a toy. And your fingers are fine or penis or whatever you've got going. But what if you could experience something different? What if there's another world that you just skin alone,

God, giving gifts can't do it? Yeah, and that's the thing. It's like, it's not bad. It's not either or it's an addition to your already flourishing sex. Yeah, it's designed to enhance sex, not to attract from it. And it's a supplement rather than a replacement. And, it's designed to enhance sex, not to attract from it, and it's a supplement rather than a replacement. And I think that with couples' vibrators

or any vibrator, really, any sex toy, they really work as a catalyst for communication. So even if the first time you tried, it's a total disaster. That's half the fun, because you're learning something new with your partner, you're bonding over the experience, and you're sharing some laughs.

And at the end of the day that's what sex is all about. It's true. I always say like share new experiences, take on a new sport, take on a new sex tour, like do something together that will bring you together. I think this is like the perfect product for that. So what are some of your other favorite products from Liva? I think you had to pick one. You're on a desert island. Oh my gosh. That's so sorry to ask that. That's really hard. That is really hard now. I'm really sorry to improve that ahead of time. I should have sent you three days ago that question.

If I was going on a desert island, I would definitely bring a touch or a tango, because they are tiny and I could pack other things in my bag and I know I'd be covered. But I think one of the really cool products that we've launched recently is Nova by Wevibe, and it's our take on a rabbit-style vibrator. And I think it's so cool and interesting, because we were able to take this problem that women

were having with a product category, which was they were being sold dual stimulation, but it wasn't always happening for them based on how they were designed. We took that as a problem statement and turned it into a solution with NOVA where you get true simultaneous constant contact while you're using it. Yeah, well, we've spent a lot of time here. We did a show where we all reviewed the RAVE and the NOVA. And that is what's so cool about it is that so you guys all know about the different rapid cell toys that you want. It inserts and you get the little like tentacles or whatever it is on the outside but with the Nova it doesn't so what you're could explain people you don't lose contact like you

don't like it's a lot of times you could be inserting it inside so it's hitting you internally it feels really good but then the little tentacle parts of your clitoris pull off but you guys have the the coolest little appendage on there that doesn't leave your cooler is genius I think I squealed really loudly the first time I'm an excitement shortage music oh my god Genius, how did you do that? Yeah, that's been a cool toy too, and you can use that with the app. Yes, you can People even gonna not use things with the apps anymore. It's so smart

I know and I think I don't want it to be a bear I just think that people it's like anything like once you try over like why don't I always use this app? It's really it's super cool I think if I was on a desert island I would bring the touch yeah because I love the weebub touch because I love all the different Angles to it. I love that I can hold it my like I love labial stimulation I love it. You can also like point it like for direct literal stimulation We all love it around here. It's so versatile. Oh my god. It's so great. It's soft. It feels good Makes me happy peat and powerful Right if I was at this round I was super hungry out but I'm smashed right again

Forget about it. Exactly. I forget about anything So is there Anything else that's coming up you think like that we could look forward to? That's coming up with, we buy, we're always excited. We have very exciting things coming up. Unfortunately, it's a little too soon to tell, so stay tuned. It's not far off. Oh my God. Okay. Okay, okay.

Okay, so Tristan, as the global passion ambassador, I was going to keep saying that many times I can. So you said that a lot of your job is taking the feedback that you get, the research you get from people who have used the toys and building new ones. So I'm wondering if you could give me an example of research you got that helped you, how that worked into building a new product or what didn't work. Yeah, definitely. So to go back to sync, I mentioned that a lot of the feedback

that we got of all the previous versions of we've five couples, vibrators directly influenced what we put into sync. of the feedback that we got of all the previous versions of We5 couples vibrators directly influenced what we put into sync and how we get that information is through. One is product reviews. There are a ton of great bloggers and reviewers online that give really really articulate feedback about products that's so valuable to We5 and all manufacturers I'm sure because they have really intimate understanding of not only their bodies, but they've tried so many products so they know what works and

what doesn't work for them and in general. We also have our panel of prototype testers that gives a lot of really great information about products and how they're working. So that combined with reviews as well as our customer service department, they give a lot of, or get a lot of really great information constantly daily, hourly. And that information gets compiled and it's aggregate. So that information tells us for, let's say,

we vibe three, what's good, what's not good, what's coming back, and what can we improve on. So one of the things with all of our couples' vibrators that people really wanted to see changed was that it's not a one-size-fits-all product. And we knew this, and we were, for years, struggling with this problem with how do we make something adjustable without making it giant? So finally, we feel like we've really hit the head on the nails. He did, he did, right?

And made it adjustable in two different places so that the product can really fit you rather than trying to fumble around and try to make it fit your couple. Right, because that would slip. And now this one is just like, it's so cool. It stays in place. And I love all your chart.

I love how you all, the product design, the development, the charging, the packaging, it's all, I mean, it all just works. So I think, okay, so that makes sense. So people came back to you and they were like, and now do you feel like it's there now? Do you feel like the sink is, is there going to be a sink too? I think so. I think so. It's hard to say. I think the product just launched pretty recently. So we don't have a ton of feedback on it other than our prototype feedback, which was all really great and made us very excited for the launch, but I think that as the product matures

and we get more information, we'll know if we need to refine how it adjusts or if it needs to adjust in a different place. Or if there's a new feature that we totally missed and need to include. So that's good, you're really listening, I mean, obviously after the few episodes, some people don't, I think some people just think

we know it's right for our company and that's I think why you guys keep turning out good products. So I have another question for you. So five years ago, before you started working for Weeb, you said you were knocking on their door and you like the company. But now it's been five years and you're entrenched and you're doing it. And so I'm wondering, is there anything that you've learned that's, that maybe surprised you about working in the industry that's,

you know, what you thought it wouldn't be. That's my first question. The second is like how it's impacted your sex life or what you've learned about your body. Well, I'm not sure that the industry was a real blind spot for me. I knew it existed and I knew that there were really great products in the market, but that was pretty much the extent of what I knew. So I think that now, five years years later I have a much more informed position

on the market and what's there and how many options there are and how many different categories of sex toys are available, how many different types of lobes and what leaves it. I'm so happy. We need to have that. Right. There's so much information and it's so helpful to know that because now not only do I get to be a little passionate ambassador and talk to people at the time, but my own friend network is more informed now

because I'm constantly telling them little tidbits of information that I've picked up. Do you if you go to parties where like I don't want to talk about what I do tonight, I often tell people that I work in consumer electronics. No, exactly. I just say I'm a producer. Yeah.

I'm like of something you wouldn't even be in, resident, you know, yeah, because it becomes the whole thing. You create a middle party. Right. Exactly. No, that's that makes sense. Okay. So what about yourself? Like how, how much, how much did you know about your own body, I guess, about your own body, and then fast forward five years? I think that for the most part, I've, I've been with my partner for almost

seven years now, and pre-wey vibe, there was no such thing as homework. It was just an average regular sex life, but now, prototype testing is so important, and if I'm supposed to ask questions, I need to be informed on what questions to ask. So I will text him, like, oh, put some time in your state. We don't work tonight. And we joke about that a lot,

but in a lot of ways, we've bonded and become more sexually intimate and more knowledgeable of each other's bodies because we are doing this quote unquote homework because it's always a learning experience. And sometimes you want to just, we just have regular sex tonight is sometimes the question, but you're like, no, we don't. No, we have homework.

Maybe Saturday. No, no. Exactly. That's really't. We have homework. Maybe Saturday, not now. Exactly. That's really cool. Well, you have an awesome job and you work for an incredible company that's so well respected. And I'm so glad you stopped by. Thank you, Tristan, for being here. From WeVive, everyone you know, we've been talking about

for years. You can check out all the products at our site, or go to WeVive.com. Yep. Follow them across the board. I'll WeVive. It's all be on our website. Tristan, WeVive, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you so much for having me. And now we're going to give a shout out to our sponsors. We're going to come back. We're going to meet your emails and change your life. Thanks for listening. Hey. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for emailing me. I love it.

You can go to sexwithme.com, click on the Ask Emily tab, fill out the form, hit submit, that's it, indicate yes if you'd like to be called on the show because we will call you. You can also text me, you guys, this is brand new, text your question. How great is that? Text Ask Emily all one word to 7979, that's Ask Emily to the number 7979, 7979, normal message and data rates apply. Leave me a voicemail, 8888, ask SWE1, and however you contact me, just remember your

age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. And I can't wait to hear from you. Hi Emily, I'm a new listener, I love the show, why haven't I listened sooner? I was wondering, I just heard one of your ads and you said you did a survey and was surprised to find out how many people don't use Loob for oral sex. My partner I use Loob, but only for vaginal penetration, anal, or with toys. So I'm confused why you would have to use it for oral since there is already a lot of saliva to keep lubricated.

Can you please explain? Thanks Anna, 25 Detroit. Hi, Anna, from my hometown. Okay, here's a deal. You don't have to use it for oral, and I gotta say, first of all, I love that you're using it for all those other things. You're using it for vaginal and anal and with toys,

and you guys also, it's great for masturbation. But here's the thing about oral and using saliva. I'm just a little weary about saliva. I mean, it's not bad. We've been using saliva since the beginning of time, but it can carry bacteria. You know, maybe your hands aren't clean. I just think it's safe to add lube.

And then also, yes, it can be lubricated if he's performing oral on you. But sometimes we just want a little extra lubrication. So even if you're already wet, what lube provides is just a different kind of slipperyness and there's like flavored loops, so Joe makes a flavored loop. So you know, he might want, you know, you can go down and you and then you taste like strawberries. I'm sure you already taste like strawberries, but it's just kind of fun, right? It's like a fun little spice to the oral sex.

And then just remember like even if you're wet during certain parts of oral, you might not be wet the whole time. And I just think, I don't know, I use lube for, I don't know why you wouldn't because unless you're already super wet, you know, if you need it at all, I'm not saying you have to, but I'm telling you, for a lot of people, it just takes sex to the next level, oral sex to the next level, and women who use lube are more likely to orgasm. As far as like hand jobs, blow jobs, oral sex, as far as blow jobs, oh my God, Loube is the best thing ever because you don't, so your mouth's gonna get dry after a while.

You guys all call the job anyway, so add Loube, it will make it like a part-time job. And it'll make it like, I don't know, your extra-curricular activity, you won't even be thinking about it because it has to be slippery enough, it just has to be, and if you're not using Loube during oral and your mouth might be,

but eventually like it just, like I said, it gets dry and you just add to be. And if you're not using lube during oil in your mouth might be, but eventually like it just like I said, it gets dry and you just add lube. And again, for you flavor lube, amazing. Joe has so many great flavors like salted caramel, like you know, peach flavored pie, whatever that they have so many flavors. I love them. So I think again during blowjabs, they're awesome. You just you just then you have consistent whiteness. You can keep reapplying in a taste delicious. So try that out. Let me know what you think. Okay, hi Emily about six months ago I moved into a house with two housemates I didn't know either of them before moving in the house has been great But I've got a problem. I'm really into one of my housemates

He's such a great guy and I'm really attracted to him We've gotten close to the last few months and have even gone out for dinner with a few times, just the two of us. It feels a bit like we're both into each other, but we're both too scared to actually say anything. I was in a bad housing situation before I moved in with these roommates, so I don't want to mess it up if I'm reading the situation wrong. How can I tell if you would be interested in dating without making it to awkward if he isn't? He's also 22. It's urgent because he's a volunteer firefighter and every time he comes home in a uniform I want to jump him Ruth 22 South Africa. Hi Ruth ends up Africa. Thanks for listening from South Africa. Amazing Okay Ruth, I want to jump him. Okay, I get it. He's a hot, I understand the urgency. Okay, but this is a good question

I'm glad that you're being thoughtful about this because you come or coming out of a bad housing situation and I have no Guarantees for you here. I can't tell you that you know if you make the move or you hook up with them that it's all gonna end You know great it's gonna be perfect and even if you break up you guys will continue to be best friends Honestly the ads are things can go get messy. They really can but I also think that You're you're mailing me this. I think you've already set up with them by the time I'm reading this. Like I feel like there's no turning back here. You're both flirting. You're both attracted to each other.

You know, you have a drink one night, you know, you have sex. It's going to happen. But if you can try before, if you have not set up with them yet, I think you need to talk to them about it. Just be honest and just say to them, listen, I feel it's attraction or, you know, if you guys start making out one day and you start, because you say, it's really important like I love living here and just be honest say like I think you're hot, it's fun having a heart roommate, you come home in that uniform, but I'm worried, I'm worried because we're living together and maybe ask him about where

he's at in his life, if he's like you know what, I'm not looking for a relationship right now but I think it just be great to have sex and have something casual, then you can make your decision because maybe you're okay with that. Ruth, I think that's going to be really hard, You're 22 years old. You've got to crush on your roommate, and then if he brings home a girl next week, that could be difficult, right? And vice versa, maybe he wants a relationship and you don't. I have no idea where you're at right now, but I think that especially because he's your roommate, you should take time to figure out where you're both at and see what you're both looking for. Who knows? He might be Mr. Wright,

and you guys could write off into the sunset together. But don't get married to your 30. But still, so I think that you need more information, and you're being thoughtful about your situation, and so I would just take those precautions if you can. And if you already sat with them, that's cool. It's never too late to still have the conversation now. And let me know how it goes. Sexy firefighter, what's the woman to do? I don't know how I do. I know what I would do. Okay. Hello Emily, I'm 30 years old. Currently I've been divorced for two years

and I've always struggled with premature adeculation. I was married for seven years and this was always the case. My wife wanted it hard and fast. So I think this may have been the cause when I approach the topic with her she refused to help. In any event, I've recently been practicing

mindful masturbating if you will or sense eight focus. event, I've recently been practicing mindful masturbating, if you will, or sense a focus. However, I still have a tendency to ejaculate sooner than I want to. I'm not currently sexually active with anyone, however, it's masturbation month, and in honor of it, I'm practicing. Do you have any recommendations?

What about a flashlight? Would that be too much stimulation? If I involve porn in my sexy time, I get so much adrenaline that I basically ej eject late as soon as I start touching myself. Any advice would be appreciated thanks Mitchell. Hey Mitchell, happy masturbation month. This is a great question and I'm so happy to help you. So okay, you saying premature ejaculation never happened to you before? I guess the cause of it doesn't really matter, but the good news is that maybe it was your wife and who knows. But here's the good news. It didn't happen to you before. And I guess the cause of it doesn't really matter, but the good news is that maybe it was your wife and who knows.

But here's the good news. It didn't happen you before that. And we know now that it's still happening, and you're not in a relationship, this is the perfect time for you to practice this. And you're saying it still hasn't worked in doing Sense8 Focus, which is a lot of focusing on the sensations you're feeling and understanding, you know, your ejaculatory control. I was going to recommend also, you know, edging when you masturbate until you, like I said earlier, like to the point of, you lay down, you masturbate with an intention.

And you start to masturbate and you have to realize when you're about to have an orgasm and then you stop yourself and you breathe and you pull back, you can even start thinking about baseball or whatever it is. And change your thoughts and then you breathe and you stop and, you can even start thinking about baseball or whatever it is, and change your thoughts, and then you breathe, and then you stop and then you go back to masturbating. And so you build yourself up again, and then you bring yourself down. So when you're actually having sex,

you can train your body to be able to recognize that point when you're about to actually have an orgasm. But here's a thing about it, is that it's not the kind of thing if you practice it once or twice, it's gonna be solved. This is like, this is an ongoing practice, and you probably have to do it for a month or two or three. This will really bowed well for your relationships in the future as well because you're going

to get over this PE thing premature ejaculation. I'm certain you didn't have it before. I know that you're going to be able to do this, but the good news is when you start like mindfully masturbating, then you're really going to learn your body in a lot of different ways that you never would have thought about before. So then when you start having sex with partners down the road, you'll like, I think you're going to be surprised at like how much longer you can last and you're going to know your penis and your body more and be able to tell your partner like, oh, I do like my balls touch or

I like my shaft. I mean, I just think it's a good time for you to get to know your penis, like really, really get to know it. And again, don't rush into being sexually active with anyone. Spend this time knowing your body. And if you involve porn, don't involve porn then because if it is giving you too much adrenaline, I would just focus on the touch, focus on, you know, thinking thoughts or fantasies. That's cool.

Just put the time in, but recommendations. Funny should ask, Fleshlight makes a masturbation sleeve called the Stamina Training Unit. It's just for PE. So it's a training unit that will actually help you with this edging what I'm talking about is, it helps you with controlling your ejaculation

and learning how to train your body so you can last longer. So I would totally check that out. The Stammer Training Unit, you can go to the flashlight banner on my website. Hey Mitchell, I love that you are taking masturbation month so seriously. Take it by the balls. And yeah, practice you guys.

In all of you, a lot of you email me, you're like, I tried it once. Sorry, I did it for three days. Think about it. What have you ever learned that matter to you? What skill have you ever, you know, hon? What skill have you ever honed in on that you feel like an expert at from trying something once or trying something for a week?

This is something that you commit to and you devote. It's a practice. It's like a devoted practice of masturbation which to me you guys come on. What other practice really, I mean, it's sex. Don't we all want to be better at sex? Understand our bodies more. So go for it Mitchell.

You're already around bored with the Sensei focus. So just add some of these things in and a little more time, go easy on yourself and let me know how it goes. Okay, you guys, I love hearing from you. Thank you for listening to this show. We have so many new listeners and thanks for telling your friends and listening with your partners.

It's been amazing to have so many people on board with the show and I love hearing from you. On Snapchat and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and emails, it's just really, that's why I do this. It's big, it's really good and I love hearing from you on Snapchat and Twitter and Instagram and Facebook and emails. It's just really, that's why I do this. It's big, speed, feel really good. And I love helping you. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken Lina, producer, Lark, Jamie and Michael.

And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemlee.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪