Sex With Emily - On a Masturbation Mission

Episode Date: March 8, 2017

We all know that Emily’s mission in life is to get everyone on the masturbation appreciation track, and today’s podcast is no different! Emily shares her best advice to help YOU spread the word about self-love—among other things! What’s the easiest way jump back into the dating scene after a really bad break up? How do you get a timid lover to make a move already? Could your partner’s masturbatory habits make it hard for him to climax other ways? Emily and Anderson offer guidance on these love and sex issues, and also address the age-old question “Can men and women really just be friends?” Get the answer to this and more in this week’s podcast… Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Vibratex, Sportsheets, FT Toys, Promescent and System JO Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with the Endland. Today's show I'm getting to your sex and relationship questions because I know you've got a lot of them. Today's topics include spreading the love about self love, getting back into dating after a bad breakup, mixing up your sex routine, plus tips to navigate casual sex and answer the age old question can men and women be friends. Thanks for listening, enjoy the show. She's got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got her stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithm.com where you can have a party there, send me questions. Every day we update it with appropriate sex and relationship information that will help you better sex And it's funny because a lot of people are snapping me now snapchatting and sending me questions on Instagram Which I love hearing from you and I respond to all my snaps. I'm here with Anderson. What up Anderson? But it's better if you like a detailed question like I can't answer it all in 15 seconds at snapchat So you should just go to my website click on that You can't you can't you can me a question. I do speak fast, but I just think you probably want

more thorough details. I can't describe how to give a good look at this show. It's maybe I can start showing like, you know, what people want that? Don't tell show, right? That's like it's an old adage. I've never, right. I've never had anything fall like in my mouth in public. What? Not even a baby's arm? We were just looking at pictures of Rude Jude has a very funny, I love Rude Jude.

He has a very funny Instagram account called White People Wednesday. And he just puts like white people doing funny things and there was two people sucking on their baby. I was staring at that picture and you showed. You showed it to me on your phone for a good five beat before I realized what I was looking at. Right, it looks like they're giving you, yeah.

It looks like a lemon part. Because Anderson was doing all the things that he would have formally hated others doing showing pictures of his really cute baby. I come in here, I'm like, look at my picture, my boy, look at this. I'm showing people at my show. I hate myself. And you look really handsome. We're all like, we're like, ogling you.

Should I go walk up and down San Monica Boulevard after this, see how it goes? Totally. Yeah. I'm really proud of your hotness. Appreciate it. And I love that you're here. I love being here, and it's been too long. I would say that.

It's been too long. I know, I love that. But see that it makes you miss me and appreciate me. Really? Sure. And be annoyed with me. Absence, heart, fond, or. Not that you would be annoyed with me.

But I think if we had to be roommates or something, I might want to hurt you. I would be annoyed. I can't be roommates with myself. Yeah. I get would be horrible. But we used to see each other on Loveline once a week, and that was like pretty right. to hurt you. I would be a nerd. I can't be roommates with myself. I'd get it. It would be horrible. But we used to see each other on Loveline once a week, and that was like pretty right.

It was great. I loved it. And you know what, I've all the shows that I do. I do so many shows, but no, all the shows that I do, this one's always the most relaxed walking up to, because you take the rest. Because I do it all. Because I'm an anxious mess.

I sit back and I just sit shotgun. It's nice. I can drink. I need a good job pretty much. What a bitch. You really do, no you do, you do a great job. That's why you're here, that's why you're here. Yeah, you could drink. Speaking of not being able to be with yourself,

aren't we gonna be talking a little bit about being with yourself today? Mastervation? Yeah. It's just so funny that women today are no different than like women ever where I hear to talk to women, yeah, women of yesterday or women of your. That I talk to women, yeah, women of yesterday year, women of your.

That I think about women, these questions I get all the time, you know, even just what I'm out in the world. And it's interesting that people are surprised that like women don't masturbate, women don't masturbate. And you know my story that I didn't even know about until I was 20. But then I have people who are like 16, 17 year olds, so I talk to they don't masturbate and then women of the 20.

So we have a woman who emails us and says How do I get my friend to masturbate because I think that women just So women is that natural if they weren't sitting under a shower head that was spraying their you know in the right way They weren't riding a horse when they were five some women just never have an orgasm. They don't have those thoughts So we're gonna help with that because we love current masturbation Be a reality if it first happens when you're riding a horse. Technically. No, it's just rubbing it's your clitoris dude.

You don't hear that sticking in the horse hope and your giant horse. There's a horse involved with movement when that. I meant like, I meant like a lot of girls riding a bike when they're younger. They're like, I had an orgasm and a lot of women you hear typically like they're in the bathtub or there's a shower spray or the jets from the hot tub. You know that happened to me. You know how underage kids can't like send naked pictures of themselves to each other? Because it's considered a child porn.

Is it considered a child endangerment if you're masturbating in your underage? Did it all in yourself? No. I'm just making sure I know all the way. And age kids can masturbate. You can be mean like you're not gonna call masturbation but parents should not shame their children.

They can say you can't wait to do that when you're in your bedroom. They probably don't do that when we're at Benihanas. It's Benny Hanna's. It's pretty hot how they cut those shrimp though. Yeah, I can't do it when you're in your bedroom. It's changed a lot since I was a kid. I remember there's a lot of shaming that went on. Not so much from the parents of one, not especially in my house because I came from a dad who was a psychologist therapist but you know within the school yard and whatnot you know people would get accused of masturbating and made fun of. And nowadays, it seems like kids are much more open with it. And they talk about, she's like a part of life.

Like they're talking about their masturbating and watching porn and stuff. Yeah, I think men, but not women. No. No. Okay, some girls do, but I feel like a lot of friends, I have kids, kids friends who are like teens, they come to me and they tell me they're like, hey, no, I do. I remember there's one girl in high school and she said that she got four fingers in there And that was her name for the rest of the four years before fingers Nikki

Yeah, everyone's got that girl. Why did girls took the remote control to the cable box up her vagina? What the remote control that was like that's what people would say was she able to change channels I don't know that would be actually her who she did her kettle exercises right? She probably couldn't do a lot with that. It'd be so sweet if you were going to be like, all right, now go to ESPN. Now CNN, if she could actually control it that well. Like a talent. Like that is a talent. She'd be on the road.

She'd take that stuff on the road. That's hilarious. So also a happy International Women's Day. It's a tomorrow, March 8th. So that's an important day. And so for women, if you're like, what does it mean? Why do we need it? Because women's rights, it's still a thing, right? A lot of women have been out marching lately. And so for women, if you're like, what does it mean? Why do we need it? Because women's rights, it's still a thing, right?

A lot of women have been out marching lately and as they should be. But we still don't have equal pay. We still don't. You could focus your efforts on promoting women's education. Like we're doing now, sex education or any kind of education. I'll just bring up other women. I think it's so important that we just celebrate

other women, your friends,'s so important that we just celebrate other women, your friends, your peers, your employees, whoever, because... Lave me a hug. Still have an art. I'm not saying that I've ever been like, oh, I'm a woman, so it's bad. I feel like my life in many ways, you know, I've had a lot of great things. I've had a lot of benefits to my life because I'm a woman, but still I think that there's a lot of competitiveness and I think that there's a lot of female leaders who are just threatened by other women. I just think if you can look around your

circle of women and be like, how can I how can I support the woman? How can I celebrate them? How can I have them advance their career? How can it be a mentor? It's important. I never had mentors. I was not a fucking mentor. In your career?

Did I ever what? Never once. Never once. Never like left work and when like if I was a man, that would never have different. No, no, no, no, no. I actually have been really, I'm grateful that I'm a woman. Ungrateful, grateful. Very grateful.

No, I've never wished I was anything other than I am for a second. I don't, I don't hurt those feelings of jealousy or desire for to be anyone else than myself. Because I would never be as good at anyone as being themselves, and we're all different. Like sex was with Richard, probably it doesn't, it wouldn't work as well.

No, no, sex, if you were Richard. Or we call him Rich, Ricky. Or unless you're sick with Dick, we'd be bad. Sex with Dick, no, sex, if you are Richard. Oh, we call him Rich, Ricky. Or unless you sex with Dick, wanna be bad. Sex with Dick, no, but that'd be so confusing. No, have you ever wanted to be one? Oh yeah, really? Plenty of times, I wanna be everything though. You do, so you have to-

What a full human experience, yeah. Right, don't you wish you could do that? I really do wish I could do that. Yeah, not even virtual reality, you could do that. That's what I love about movies so much, is because there are a little empathy machines as Roger Ebert used to say. And I love watching them because I can put myself in a mindset

that I would have probably not otherwise be able to do. That's what I do always love movies. And that's why it kind of takes you out of your head. It just gives me a different experience. It's the same with traveling, but traveling, you know, cost a lot, you got to pack. Right, so like every night you're watching those movies like a little mini-vay-kate.

A little mini like I get to like, you know, see another part of it, someone else's life, yes, and you can like focus and stuff when you watch movie That's my new goal. I mean I get it to watch movies. That's a good goal. It's pretty And TV I just got a TV with On the wall and it speakers and Cape not cable because no one needs cable, but I got like slingbox or something and who knew and all that stuff So it's very exciting. I'm nesting with myself.

Yes, Emily's got a great little space for herself, and I bet it probably bleeds onto the show because you're probably much more comfortable than you've been in the recent years. Yes, I've never, ever actually had a place that I felt like was home. You're bringing dudes back there, huh? Tood and knife.

Well, bringing guys, oh! Uh, no, not really, no, I haven't, I haven't. Oh, no, not really. No, I haven't. I haven't. I want. Pretty little ladies back. No, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, I, you know, well, we, this woman, Zara Berry on the show last week,

she's hot lesbian, she did come back to my house and made a glass of wine, but we did not, nothing happens. No trivins. No, but like, it's funny. No, I haven't, I haven't, any guys there, but I do have like this lovely, how, I've never just, whatever, I feel definitely comfortable. I've never just whatever I feel,

definitely comfortable. I was getting you. You were like my first guest. And no, I haven't been dating much, but I was back on the app, doing some swiping. This is what happens. You're like, okay, I'll try again. And it's funny, though, because we've talked about this, but when people go online and date, it's just, it can be like a full-time thing,

and then you gotta get back to people, and then in B bumble they go, wait after 24 hours your matches and women have to make the first move. Oh that's cool, I like that. It's kinda cool, because you gotta say hi and then the thing is I did go on a date with a guy last night that I met.

He did not come back to my house. But it's like, when we first started texting, I'm trying to avoid what I do for a living. Just not because I'm ashamed of it, but you get it, sex is charged and loaded and just say what you do, then he googled me. So he kept talking about what he does and blah blah. I'm like oh, and I because I'm ashamed of it, but you get it. Sex is charged and loaded and just say what you do, then you Google me. So he kept talking about what he does and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, and he's like, what about you?

And I kept like, I've made a request. He's like, just tell me. And we had been chatting for a while. So finally I sent to my website and he's like, are you punking me? Is this real? Like, this is what you do. Like, like, no, I swear. And he's like, oh, like, I had to like, I said, like, so you're like, like,

do you do porn stuff? You know, I said just read the site. Maybe what you should do. I can't. It's like, send them like, need a to like, explicitly, so you're like, like, do you porn stuff? You know, I said, just read the site. That's what I got. I can't watch that. It's like, send them like, need a heartlease or something and then let them down and get it. Oh, I'm not that, right. Guess what, not that.

I was joking, I'm actually this. Well, he said to me, he was joking because what do you do? I'm like, we don't talk about it right now. I don't know where to say it, he goes, are you porn star? I'm like, sort of. I'm like, but not really, sex doesn't matter.

So that's fun, I've been doing that. And then also, we're going on our, so we have our lunch date this week with your guy from, for my campaign, for my group, it's my community right now. I'm a great money for my film, which I'm a heavy pre-production on. And one of the perks was got by Mervin, and I picked up by Mervin,

and we will be having brunch with the ladies of Emily, sex with Emily and Emily and myself, and it's gonna be great So we'll report back on that and that was good to support your film and then there's another one We appreciate you doing that. We do appreciate it. Can we say do we say his name? Do you say his name? I already did. Mervin came over and we're excited and then we also the UB campaign Which is a Kickstarter campaign for the box that the clean all cleans like yes Like the dentist tree, but it's amazing this box and we raised people did it and another guy bought dinner with me So I feel like I feel like I'm like a prostitute. I didn, dance, dance, dance, a story. It's amazing. This box, and we raised people did it, and then another guy bought dinner with me.

So I feel like, we're like, we're like a prostitute. I didn't hear that part. We bought dinner. Who, one of the UV box guys. Yes. And so I'm having dinner with him. Ken's been talking to him and like,

like, like, Ken is your VP. Ken's my VP and Ken has been like, you're a ham and then they had a face time. How he's vetting them. Extreme vetting. And then we, and then we're all the staff. We're all having, we're having,

I'm having a date with him next week But we're all having a phase time call within this week to that to make sure yes to make sure no He said I'm sure but like is he any safer than the guy without the bubble? I don't know yet come up with him. Yeah, he paid money. He was very Supported or I got it any support of the Kickstarter for UV which actually came to fruition. Gotcha. Yeah People are paying I'm actually going on dates and people pay for not that much of a difference from you know the bumble thing support of the Kickstarter for UV, which actually came to fruition. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's... So that's my dating.

People are paying, I'm actually going on dates and people pay for. Not that much of a difference from, you know, the bumble thing. I mean, you don't, you don't know who any of these people are. I really, yeah. At least this guy is in your system. Exactly. Yeah. So.

You know, it's credit card number. I don't, but I could break into the system. We had to, yeah. Yeah. We could, and we would. See, I think that he's probably safer than what you mean on Tinder or something. Well, that's the thing. He's been vetted more than anybody else have ever dated want me to vet him a little

Yeah, do you want to be on the call? Do you want to call me like set? He's into it He's into it. Yeah, you laughs. Yeah, so much attention when it first happened We were all talking about it because you wrote a great letter that I read on the show There's like a month ago anyway your next update the next show you listen to our already have gone on the date And then hopefully hopefully you will have another show after that You mean if he doesn't kill me. Yeah, I don't think he's a killer per se. You don't think. No. Oh, um, good, good.

Might be on the news. How about a little. Yeah. Who knows? Yeah. Would you like to do a little sex in the news? Speaking of that, absolutely do sex. I saved this one for you because when I read the headline, I'm like, oh, this is just a great one for us. Anderson. But it also kind of takes a twist, a little twist.

So men and women can never be friends, and it's not because of sex. Because we always talk about our being friends with members of the Abuts sex, and we're actually friends. And we don't have sex. Okay. A new study I should light on theal question, but instead of focusing on the sex part, like, you know, Harry Metzali, remember, let me be there obsessed with it. It looks as what I always expected to be the real problem between the genders, how they

define friendship. So women view their best friends as something in between sisters and soulmates, and men see theirs purely in terms of convenience. So what determined with original friendships, whether they survive with girls, so how to indicate or determine whether or not a female friendship is going to be successful is if they talk on the phone. And you know, not just if they talk on the phone, but what they talk about. Here's how it goes though.

If I was your female friend, I would have to say mostly these kinds of things. Like, absolutely, Emily, you're so right. That girl's such a bitch. Yes, you were so much better than that guy. Thank God you dumped him. You have to just agree all the time and make them feel like they live in the world than it's real.

Right. You sound like Manus right now, which is really scary me. That all women are the same and all we do is talk about like boys and for the maybe younger conversations. I'm sure you have. But the thing is is that no you're right, there are the women who are like that, he's an asshole. And the fact that I have those conversations. Yes, but my friends are also I've had

for 10, you know, for over 20 years and they're like and it's true like after college we even talk in different cities, but for guys talking has no effect on their relationship. What, hell up their relationship was doing stuff together. Like, let's go to football match. Like, let's go to the pub for a drink. They have to make an effort. And so, while women have much more intense close friendships,

guys tend not to have that relationship. They have like four guys they do stuff with. Is that how you feel about yours? But you're more of a woman. No, I'm way more of a woman. You are more of a check. You cry and stuff. What? You told me. You are more of a check, you cry and stuff. What?

You told me, you cry more than I do. You cry a lot. You might be very hot when I told you that. You cry every day, it's okay. But here's the thing about the relationships with the men and women though, is that they don't really stick. So a lot of women are disappointed because they have a friend and they're like, he's my best friend and we're great.

But if you like change, if he moves to another city, obviously gets a girlfriend, even like gets a new job and makes new friends, like they're gone, they're not gonna call you on the phone. So whether it's nature and nurture, no, they just don't, men simply don't re-friendship in the same way as women and sex is not the issue

and it's probably how much time and effort. So what I've been thinking about lately, since I moved to LA, that one thing that is missing is making new female friends I've made a few and I don't think you need 20 and I still talk to my friends in San Francisco every week I talk to Charlotte every single day sometimes twice a day But people have their families or their lives and you're like let's have a girl date It's just it's a harder, you know

And then I also think about my male friends and I want to talk to you about this because we you said you've a ton of female friends Are you I did not so much anymore so've a ton of female friends, are you? I did, not so much anymore. So when you get married, they're gone. Yeah. A lot of them, yes. Right. Except I met you after, so we're friends.

Right, and I just, I had a respect, like any of my female friends who I happen to have had sex with, I feel like it's probably inappropriate to continue a relationship with them and any respect because I have a wife now. That's good. Speaking of which, there's a girlfriend of mine or a friend of mine who's a girl who's texting me right now. Yeah. I'm not paying to her. So did you sleep with most of your female friends? A lot of them, yeah, unfortunately, but it was, you know, it's the time. It was the time. It's like eventually it happens by mistake. I think so too. But I have some very good girlfriends who I never have and we made it a

point not to because we didn't want to get sticky. But with guy friends too, I can say this is speaking as a guy even though I am a lot like a girl. Yeah sure, with convenience and whatnot, I'll lose touch with some of these guys, but when we do reconnect and usually we do, if they are like really good friends, we pick up right where we left off. There's no like, oh my God, so where you been, tell me about the family, there's none of that.

It's just like we start with the same jokes, and we start making fun of people, or people watching and enjoying things, and talking about current events. There's no like catch up, which comes in handy for someone like me, who's never on Facebook. That was thinking about too,

is like you guys are all kind of friends, if you're on Facebook, you're all up to date with everyone's life. Yeah, if you're on Facebook. What do you do on high school reunions? Like everyone's just like, I saw last week, you were like, I know, it're on Facebook. What do you do on high school reunions? Like everyone's just, I saw last week you, everyone knows what's going on, right?

I know, it's just weird. That's the weirdest thing about everything, even with friends. Like, oh, I'm really you, and also it's misconceptions. So they're friends like, what do you mean you don't have friends? What do you mean you're not out?

You're out every single night. I'm like, it's like work, Instagram, but maybe some time is fun. And I'm also hard on myself too. Maybe I go out more than I say, but this doesn't feel like it. And then I don't even like that everyone is making judgments

or deciding that my life is a certain way because of what's on social media. But I'm not trying to project anything different. It's real. And like today I did this. It'll make all these decisions. Well, you got a, you're a little different case, Sam, because you're like a public persona.

And you got to, you know, keep people up to date with the life of a crazy sex with Emily. Yeah, but it's all real until like I don't have them. But before we put it to bed. I wanna finish, yes. Really, it's kinda interesting when you think about it in the sense of like, you know, more primitive times where women are nesting and like they need their support

and they need their friends and they need to be deeper connections. Whereas like guys are just looking for other males to go out and like kill things when they bring back to meet, right? And they're like, oh, you up for it? You're going over to that village, right? Then I'll find a new one.

You know? No, this is how women of yes, but I'm going to have more people to get in a time of community. You guys have more meaningful community. Yeah, so I really feel like I've met, and again, I have it on the phone. I have a few friends here, but I feel like that was my thing,

my go-to, and my guy friends, which a lot of them I realized once, twice, I might have slept with, but then it didn't ruin it. Or there we go. But here's why I wish men had more friends, girlfriends. Just if it's for the sheer reason that I'm on these friggin' apps and guys don't know what a good picture of them is, and they need to either talk to their sisters or their aunts or girlfriends.

They're great women. Like, please just like approve pictures that you look good in because they all have sunglasses. Like, I'd like to see them without sunglasses without like a red solo cup drinking. Right. Like in every picture. And then also like, don't show pictures of you and six friends who all look like you, because I don't know which one you are. Sup, bruh.

And I'm so busy, I'm swiping, it's like the fast food app, like I don't want to figure out who you are, I'm swiping left. I can't figure out, put a circle around your face, it's very- Literally, I'm so ready, DM, I don't know who you are, swipe. So just talk to your friends, that's why I think it's important. Okay. And I don't trust those guys to say, dude, I can never be friends with a chick, man, because you know all I'm interested in this doing this bang and it's like that that guy is not in my friend

No, I get it and I also think that might be a younger guy thing or maybe guys never brought it out Because I remember when I was like 26 dating guy and his younger brother 24 was like We're talking about some of our front this came up, but he says I just he was truly perplexed He's like I just don't get it like he was really like why would you be friends with a woman like it didn't even like you truly Was like what is the best if you're not simple that some of the funny is the table nicest smartest people that have ever been in my life obviously are the ladies so of course I think it's good for guys to exercise those friend muscles you You can be friends with women and I think this guy now.

Friends with some ugly ladies. Just whatever you got to show. It helps you in all areas of your life and we're good friends. Like we're wired that way. Okay, let's give a shout out to our sponsors. Okay, we're on to emails. If you have a question you want me to answer on the show, just email me. Or go to the website, so easy that way, section at mme.com, click on ask Emily,

fill out the form, let us know if you'd like to be called for the show, or if you just want to send an email, that's cool too. You can also leave a voice mail, 818-275-7931, and include your name, your age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. It totally makes our lives better when you do that. It makes you actually I can help you better when you do that as well. Hi Emily. My name is April. I've been listening for about six months now on the Overcast app. I actually got into the show when a guy was hooking up with the time told me about it and now I'm a regular. So I absolutely love masturbating. I have since I was 15 because my first boyfriend gave me an orgasm And I loved it so much I wanted to give myself one and I masturbated like at least twice a day Since then she's now 20. I never thought it was weird or gross

But as I got older I know it's a lot of my friends find it repulsive She's like church does she go to I wonder I don't know dude I didn't understand it and I didn't go to church one of my best friends won't even think about touching herself and she says, she'll wait for a ban. I tried to explain to her, it's her body and she has every right to do it, but she won't budge. It makes me so sad to think that she and millions of other females actually believe a man

has more right to her body than she does. Is there anything I can do to help her see masturbating as a more normal and liberating thing? Thank you, April, age 20. April. She's got a lot of energy there Why do you care so much about your friends masturbating? Let's settle that little no, well no, I think April I can't imagine my conversation very intelligent well exactly because you're a dude

Eddie Eddie, well you beaten off yet dude. You got to start beating off, bro It's awesome dude. All right. I'll ask you guys don't need any convincing, okay? But I did not know that I wasn't masturbating because I didn't know it was an option. So when I had sex and didn't really love it, it was fine, I had sex at 17, 18, 19, whatever, it was 20, that I found out about orgasms. Because my friend Mary was like,

well, having an orgasm, I was like, well, what? I literally didn't know. And I was hard to believe. I know. It's hard to believe, because we were talking about Harry Metz Sallie earlier. What did you think was happening there? Unless.

She was having better sex than I was. But she was explaining to fake orgasm. I mean, it's on Seinfeld, I guess. I don't know, maybe it's just the generation or something. The generation or something. The after college I think. It seems like it's out there in the zeitgeist.

It's a surprise. Okay, but for me it wasn't, I was super focused and distracted in other things. So here's the thing. I'm not sexy, and here you are. Well, right. See, I've over compensated. I love that you have a masturbation mission April kind of like my own. So I'm sure, you know, it's how she's trying to talk to her friends. Sometimes it's not enough. I know you don't get this, but like literally my friends were sending me articles and links and my mom was like, I told

you that she's like, never try getting high. Even though she wasn't a pot smoker, she's like, how do you not have an orgasm? Because April, you're lucky. You had one when you had sex at 15. With your first boyfriend. That is rare. Most women do not the first time. So don't ever want to go, why didn't I have it? Okay, I didn't either.

The reason is though, April, you're talking to your girlfriend, and she's still gonna think it's gross for whatever reason, because just talking to her isn't gonna be enough. So she doesn't get what she's missing, she probably has feelings about being repulsive, you know, you can say it over and over again, but she might just say like, ew, but let's handle this. Here's a thing. Just show her. Grab your friends. I want you all to sit down and listen to this podcast together now, so you can call your friend. You can all listen to this, you can press pause, this is for April. I'm gonna give you some tips here to get our board. I'm not gonna give you masturbation tips. I'm gonna give you some tips here to get on board. I'm not gonna give you masturbation tips.

I'm gonna give you tips and what? If April were to do that and I was April's friend, and she's like, come here, hold on, I'm gonna push pause. I'm gonna play this for you. I'm gonna be kinda scared. Would you? I'd be like, how this chick really wants me to do it all by myself? I do, I want other women to listen to this and be like,

oh why? And this is not gonna be tips. I'm giving that out of the next show, but I can give that out of the Zillian shows. But first of all, there's no downside to masturbation. There's no negative side effects. You're not going to get pregnant. You're not going to get disease. You're not going to get sick. It just like makes you happier. Right. That is a thing. You get adorfins. You get dopamine, oxytocin. You get more comfortable with your body. I mean, our bodies are our best friends. They're with us our entire

life. And women have such complicated relationships with their bodies. And if you're one of these women who don't feel great about your bodies, about your body, once you start to touch it and you realize all the pleasure that it's capable of having you be like, Oh, I get it. This feels good and you'll learn to appreciate your body and how it feels good. What big of a George, because it stands as mom when she caught a masturbating. She said that he's treating this body like a carnival ride. That's awesome. Something to learn a lot forgot that one but yeah

to watch oh my god he was he was beating up to a glamour magazine I think oh my god that's so funny there's a lot of good master rations jokes inside felt okay and you're right too you're speaking from the women's point of view that for a man's point of view there's a lot of there could be lot of shame, especially with some of the things that guys look at on the internet. And now they got to keep going a little farther and farther down the rabbit hole of some questionable things and whatnot. So there is shame. I think there's way less of that. No, I think that women have shame too, though, because it's a different kind of shame. They think

that first of all, they're looking at necessarily, they're thinking about, right? Well, they're not thinking about sex, sexual thoughts. They might think it makes them slutty. They might have been told that they're gonna go blind. They might have... Yeah, different kind of shame. Or like to have it maybe one time, they were touching themselves when they were five. It only takes one time.

There's like this moment in every woman's life where they become ashamed for becoming a woman. Maybe she was wearing her shirt when she was out. Like I remember this happened to me. I was like, with my brother on bikes when I was like five and I had my shirt, I was like summer and Michigan. I think my shirt are like six. Like age where. I think my shirt are five, something six. Like age where maybe you could have your shirt on

and maybe not. And then I remember like it was weird. Like my mom or somebody was like part of your shirt on. So there's comes a time in a woman's life where you realize that you're sexual being and you become shamed. And maybe you can, you link that up to masturbation. Whatever it is we have mixed messages around it

and we don't understand why it is important. So you might have shame or you might just not get it. So this will also improve your sex life. Like right now taking the time to understand your body, you'll find out it feels good. You'll be able to share that with partners, future partners because they, you know, men are not mind readers, women are not mind readers if you're with women. It also releases stress. I can't tell you like I was

hired by the Center of Recent Show that like I know that I always talk about masturbation and I typically it's not the kind of thing I have to like remind myself to do, but I realize some time will buy. And then I did I'm like, oh my God, I'm so elastic. I release like so much anxiety and stress. Like that moment doesn't come back. So if you're relaxed, you were porn watcher there. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. You just think about it like the faceless man that I've heard about. Yeah, kind of. Yeah. Faceless man. That's what's talking about like because guys don't think about face. I know, I know. You just think about boobs and vaginas. I remember I knew some guy one guy you know him too. And he's like, I beat off to muscle cars. It's like dude, get out. He was getting right. Yeah. Um, he was a kid.

It was serious. Was he? Yes. Um, the thing is about masturbation, that's a good point. If you're like, but I'm not turned on, it doesn't feel good. It's true. If you just sit down and start touching your boobs or your clitor- It's like, that doesn't feel good. So when you're brain, you gotta start thinking of these arousing, which probably as a child, I wasn't doing either. Like I didn't know how to think sexual assault.

I thought, or even as a teenager when I started having sex. So, you know, if you have to like start thinking about, if you have a boyfriend or like I'm trying to do the skills never master rate if she's 20, think about like making out to me. Sometimes I just think about like kissing a guy for the first time, that will turn me on. Or read a rhodica watch 50 shades of gray,

I don't care, there were some hot scenes in it. I swear to God, I did a show about it. And you know what, there's a lot of bad things you could say about it, but look at porn. And if then once you get your brain on board, you're gonna start getting it. Oh, I'm having this tingling feeling in my stomach, you know. Like to short out to do that.

It's true, it makes you happier, it makes you comfort with your own body, it'll improve your sex life. Like I said, really, it's stress. And how could you say sexual? Like even if you're not having sex, the more you're masturbating again, yeah, it does. Like the more I'm like, so into it,

the more I'm sex, the more I do. My cat goes the more I'm having, I masturbating, I'm like, oh yeah. You know what, even I. And like you said in the past, it makes you want to have sex more often as well. It's true. So that there's,

you know what's funny and ironic kind of is a lot of guys are like me, a lot of guys when they're younger, they come up with different scenarios and whatnot. And one of the go to scenarios I think a lot of young men have, is that they are the girl that they're thinking about and they are getting to be with themselves a little bit.

So guys are out there like imagining being girls or women and touching themselves, but they actually sounds like a large chunk of women aren't actually touching themselves and they have the opportunity to. But men are actually, you're picturing some imagining being these women and being in the mirror with themselves. You picture yourself with a vagina? I've got friends that have said that. I've never heard this before.

It's probably where it all started with the Caitlin Jenner. No. It could. Oh, maybe, but not every guy you had, these thoughts are transgender. No, no, no. Not trans, I mean, my friends not transgender,

who did this? Okay. I think there's probably other guys that did it to. Probably, I hope no. Okay. My friends not transgender, who did this? Okay. I think there's probably other guys that did it too. Yeah, probably. I hope so. Whatever gets you going, whatever turns you on, right? There's nothing wrong to think fantasy is a beautiful thing and it should be except indofield.

If you're watching porn, that's wrong and evil. Like that could be a thing. Women are like, I don't want to access those thoughts because that's wrong. I know you've broken something. I'm slutty. Whatever, I just want to realize that sex is something that's going. I know you probably can say anything. I'm slutty. Whatever I just want to realize that sex is something that's gonna feel amazing to her. She get multiple orgasms.

And just, that's why I hope this was helpful. You April, you and your friends, you know? I think it was helpful for a lot of the people that we're listening, but I think you can agree. You probably shouldn't say anything, but April needs to maybe relax a little. My friends, Mary, we should- Stop forcing your hand, your friends hand up.

If I was around, if I, this show was around, my, I would have gotten this, my friends would have done this, because they were so vested in me having orgasms. They just couldn't believe that I hadn't had one. And they were all like, how's it going? My five best friends from college? Was there ever a point where they're like,

we'll just show you right now. No, no, no, no. I like that idea. I'm more than there. Oh yeah, it was really hot. We had a slumber party, we had a pillow fight, then we got naked, and we all gave each other orgasms. And it was amazing.

And I've never not had an orgasm. You guys are all like a woman. Have a contest who can finish first. Yeah, right. That's what guys do. Okay, so also vibrators are awesome. Just know you get a little, I love this FT London.

It has these little G-rings. It's like a little, goes around your finger. Feels really good. So yeah, try vibrator too. If you're not into it, you could use it like around your body. I mean, if you are like, I don't want to touch my body

with just my fingers, use lube, all that. So good luck. Let us know how it goes. I told you, a way back when my first, like, serious relationship, I was with a girl who was very uptight, but we were very, very young, you know, we're like 15. But I remember I was trying to get her to just touch herself when I was with her and she's huge turnoff

when she looked at me, because I don't want to die out with myself. I'm like, whoa. I've heard that too, right? Like, literally they have no frame of reference. Like she felt like she was going to be a lesbian in that and she was so homophobic, I guess, looking back on it now. Her sister turned out to be lesbian. Do you see all these messages that women get?

Yeah. And when I've talked to teenage girls, 18, they're like, ew. And I'm like, so I was like, how can I get this across? Like, they're like, ew. And I'm like, so I was like, how can I get this across? Like literally, they're like, ew, that sounds gross. But you're having to your boyfriend and you hate it. Wow. So it's hard to write women, self-diagniers. Come on. Let's go into a guy who's all messed up now. Okay. Okay. He's not messed up. We're going to help him. Hey, Emily, first I'm a long time listener. I just want to say, thank you so much for all the help you've given over the years,

you're the best. My girlfriend of four years left me last year due to different work schedules and a general change in life direction. And if I'm gonna be honest, it has broken me. I spent the last eight months sitting alone in my room thinking about her. The customer service face my job requires tires me out

to such an extent that by the time I get home, I want to be by myself so my social life is gone down the drain. After eight months of no intimacy, I'm a massive hormones, but I still think about her every hour of every day. I've tried casual hookups, and one time I freaked out at the last second and had to leave.

The other time, I was so terrified that it sat there and didn't even make a move till she left. It's got to the stage. Till she left. I don't know what that was. I don't know if she just sat on top of him I'm trying to do it left. I don't know. You made a move. It doesn't work out. It wasn't fun. I got to the stage now where I get to the shakes and sweat a lot

Even when just talking to an attractive one. I've tried Tinder bumble gives those much needed temporary boost of self-esteem But I can't bring myself to ask anyone out for a drink. I don't know what to do. Anyhow would be hugely appreciated your biggest fan, Matt, age 20. 26. And how long was this relationship that's crushing on you? Together for four years. Four years. Yeah.

So long time. And how long has it been eight months? And that's tough. We hear about this all the time. You know, women, here's a thing about breakups. Women experience more emotional anguish after breakups. It's harder for me, women are more like distraught, but men like take longer to recover.

Do you think this is true? I've talked about this a lot, like there's been studies and stuff that, that men don't typically get over it, they just sometimes kind of, some men. I think of the next, try to repair the last relationship. I think it's easier for a woman to maybe get into another relationship or pick herself up or make herself feel good about herself by you know sexing herself up a little bit,

making herself look good going out with her friends and you know getting hit on a little bit. But guys it's I think it's tougher because guys have to do a lot of the approach. I know that we're moving forward and progressions occurring but men still go after women more after the not and it's we're the ones that have that have to begin and break the ice. And it's tougher for guys, especially a guy who's just been rejected and is still like a shell of himself. So yeah, I think it's easier for women to rebound. Right, it's true.

And so here's the thing, Matt, it sounds like you're definitely not ready to start dating again. So how about this, take the pressure off yourself. Just, what if you just let that go? And you're like, you know what? I actually don't need to date right now. I don't want to date right now. And it's okay that I don't date right now.

It doesn't mean you're never going to meet someone in the future. It just means that right now it's become such a high-tense, high-pressure situation. And the good thing about breakups, we actually did a really good show on breakups. I guess last year, you could probably just search it on iTunes or wherever you listen,

but a lot of people said it was helpful for them. But you still have work to do on your own, and I think it's great that you're not jumping into another relationship because we do our best works, I think, when we're going through a breakup and when we're out of a relationship. Because you're with her for four years, like pretty formative years, like it's 22 to 26. So I would say like think about, like even your explanation mat, you're like you went in different direction and you've different work schedules, there is probably a lot going on.

And so have you looked at maybe parts of the relationship that you're responsible for, things that happen, and also what you might learn from it and what you might want in the future. So it's a good time to like take this time and just like think about what worked and what didn't. But also, it really helps to get your confidence back by building a community around you. We were just saying that guys might not be the best at keeping up with friendships with women,

but guys like your guy friends can help you a lot, even if you are just sitting around at the pub or watching sports, what do you guys do? But it really helps to get a hobby, hang out with your guy friends if anyone gets hobbies anymore. Work on yourself, and I think if you take the pressure off, it'll come back. You're getting the sweats, what?

Are you laughing at? Just picture and I'm picking up the hobby of droning just like following his ex-girlfriend around with the drone But like it's so true though once you get yourself out the door and you're like I know right now You're home right the drone you think that it would be like you just follow here I am it become a stalker. Yeah bad hobby to have a bad I don't go that. Don't do that. But like also practice talking to women that you're not interested in too.

Yeah, we're like women that are out of your league and there's no pressure. And that sounds weird. That's what you do all the time, right, Anderson? No, I don't talk to women. Did you see you used to be okay? Can we talk before you, Lamar? Yeah, I would do that a little bit.

I would do that a little bit. Like the hotter the woman, well then this is different. The hotter the woman, the less pressure, because I think like there's no way she's gonna have interest in me. She's like way out of my league.

So, especially if the jammer's not like that, you're giving really good advice. I really like the idea of him not putting the pressure on himself and trying to like, it sounds like he's almost, don't take offense to this, but almost being like a lady. Like, he's got a biological clock. I'm not gonna get back in relationship.

I think more of it too is he's just trying to get over this last relationship. And you're not gonna do that until you feel good about yourself. So you gotta focus on yourself, like Emily is saying, for sure. And it sounds like you're in a job you don't like much. You're, you know, of the age where you're probably done with school, you should focus on what you want to do with your life and your career. And the better you do in your life, the better you get to feel about yourself and people

start coming to you. It's magical, but it happens. That's how it works. It's so true with maturity when you fight. Yeah, if you don't like your customer service job,'re you're great right here. You articulate your better job You start making things happen with your life and magically you're gonna feel better by yourself Your weenery even gets bigger. It's weird. It's true. Yeah, the more powerful you get with yourself But it's true. There's a little a little bit added there. I'll go to the gym

You know just focus on yourself and let that other stuff come you got plenty of time or 26 I was in a breakup out for a long time right around age two. It's brutal and the longer you spend in it, it's not going to get any better unless you make some changes. It's not just about finding like casual hookups and what. No, that's not working for you. For some guys, it's okay. For some, yeah, totally worth it. But it doesn't really, it's kind of abandoned. So I'm glad you're on doing, I think Matt, you're being actually really healthy. So I think stop the dating and start working yourself. The best revenge, and I don't know if you're looking for revenge, but it's to be happy and just get out there.

It's true. And I think what Emily was talking about that I've done in the past, and I have done this, is I imagine, it sounds like you might be a romantic guy, and you really like being in a relationship. And I imagined having a girl, a wife in my future. I knew that I was probably gonna have a wife somewhere down the road.

I knew she was alive at the time, because I'm not an insane pedophile, right? That'd be weird if she wasn't And so I know that she's on walking in the world somewhere and then I'd imagine that she's like looking at me right now Being pathetic and sad about this girl that's not the one. I mean you're 22 when you guys started dating That girl was not meant to be the one for you. So I imagine my future wife who I knew was in the world somewhere looking at me and going What are you doing all upset about her? I'm the one and I would just live for myself and I knew that I would meet her. That's the most beautiful story I've ever heard. Is it?

It worked. I don't know. Madison just go, did you do that? It worked. That's sweet. That is really good. So like that is and it's true and the truth is it's true and you're worth it. Well you have a wife now and you're like one of them.

Well I know they're being the same girl. My wife now who was I was trying to get over. No, I'm kidding. But still, dude, but those are all good messages. Thank you. Thank you. Good luck. And the girl that I have now, mother of my child,

she would have been looking at me and just shaking her head and scoffing at like, what a, like, a little pussy-ass bitch I was being. But I think this is, again, what we're saying to also that these times that we're going through these things is what makes a stronger, just a character and how we learn and grow. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you.

I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you.

I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you.

I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll be there for you. I'll your show a couple months ago and I absolutely love it. You give the best advice and I'm really helping you with some suggestions for my situation. I started dating my boyfriend age 26 about five months ago and the sex has been amazing. However, he can only achieve orgasm by jerking himself off. He likes it when I play slash lick his balls, press on his premium, etc. But when it comes to getting off, it has to be a super fast up and down on his penis. He can't even come from oral because I can't do it fast enough. He says this is all because he's jerked off too much in his teenage collageers. Haha.

I don't have a big problem with this because we're both still having a great time in the bedroom, but I'd love to be able to make him come in multiple ways, not just by playing with his balls as he pumps it at lightning speed. Does he have to stop drinking off entirely? Is there anything I can do to get his penis used to a slower motion? Thanks so much, Marissa, age 25, New York. Also, he's on circumcise, which makes the fact

that he's so insensitive, even weirder. Okay, so let's just sum this up. He watched a lot of porn. He can only orgasm by drinking himself off. So she like plays with his balls and he's drinking himself out. And she can't go fast enough for him, right? Even with her mouth and all that stuff.

So I think this probably does have to do with his masturbation routine, not that it was too much when he was younger or not any of that. But he's been masturbating the exact same way ever since he discovered it. And I think that it, you know, you guys are professional masturbators, right? I mean, for all the time you do it.

I don't get paid for most of those books. No, you don't, but it's like, you get very specific in the way they do it. And you don't often think to change it up until there's something that's challenging. Right. And so there's nothing wrong with not changing up until you've sector the partner

and it becomes a problem. So I think his penis, and I don't have a penis so I'd love you to weigh in in a second, but it's adjusted to this very specific touch that's impossible to replicate with a partner. Right. And he might be resistant to changing. Corolli, to say, yeah, sex is great.

It's just not as good as the real thing. Right, exactly, right. Because he's like, I know what I got. This is how I learned it. Now with porn guys are like, whoa, I really got it. So I think that you can totally help him. He, I think that a mutual masturbation is great too. You could do it together and you could watch how he masturbates,

like to make sure that he's trying something else. So maybe he's masturbating you and you're masturbating him or he's learning a new kind of, like different kinds of touch, like different kinds of stimulation So he could switch up like go slower go you know It's about like the pressure the speed changes hands like use a flashlight use Loub I mean these are all things that like you have penis you know, and it's very like always tell women who use vibe the same vibrator to try different one But I'm thinking different I different road a little bit

Which is perhaps medication that he's on is making this an issue Sounds like it's delayed ejaculation if you can only do it this one certain way and I'm picturing him like closing his eyes I'm really focusing and he's got to like do it down this way And that's the only way you can do it with the alternative morris says that you know He comes lightning quick and then you don't have any kind of sex play at all So you got a good you can take care of yourself with what he's working with it sounds like, but I would ask about medication maybe. If he's on medication, that's given him the delayed.

That's true, but delayed ejaculation. I didn't see this as delayed ejaculation, she's not saying it takes forever. Well, you can only finish in one way, it can take forever, it sounds like if he doesn't do it that way, right? But I wonder if he doesn't really quickly that way, he can commonly quickly, but that's true. Delayed ejaculation is challenge. If that's the only way he can finish, then until he does that, he won't finish, right? He could go for two hours probably. Yeah, that's true, but even, okay, true. But even delayed ejaculators can do that really fast, and they still take them,

just in my experience, with delayed ejaculators. Yes. But that's true, he might be on medication. I don't think it's because, he might be on medication. I don't think it's because, I mean, most all guys that you've ever had sex with and that you will have sex with, they've all done it pretty much the same way, and maybe switched it up here and there, but I mean, they don't have this problem.

And this guy does, so that tells me that there's something going on a little different. Yeah, I mean, it could be, I'm wondering, when you do have sex or when you do use whatever, you're putting your hand at balls if it's right away or if that still takes a while. But that is kind of a sign of delayed ejaculation too, I guess, that takes a while, but I just, I don't know.

I'm not sure what this is. He could go to his doctor and talk to him, if this has been going on for a long time, and if it's really troubling him, he could talk to him. But the thing is, he could also, we learn the way he, that could help, we're learning the way he gets a rouse and touch themselves. I don't get the uncircumcised part of it because I know that there's more skin there,

so there's more nerve endings, so I guess it could cause it to be more sensitive, but at the same time, part of the shaft is covered more so as well, so that makes it less sensitive. I've heard. Well, it's hard to not have any hair, one man's penis, another man's penis, and then send the pleasure they feel. But yeah, it becomes, you know, I would say that you could talk to about this to try some different things, but also he could talk to his doctor if he's a med

that's all really good. Or he's just a dick, and that's the way that he likes to finish. So he demands that that's 25. Maybe he just did, because that's how he digs it, and that's what he wants. So he just sells you that's the only way that he can finish. Next we'll be like, you know what, I just learned the only way I can finish honey is anal.

Let's do it. Right, we're exactly. Okay, so let's look into this little more. Let's pay attention to his habits and. Right, we're exactly. Okay, so let's look into this little more. Let's pay attention to his habits and let us know how it goes. Okay, we have a voicemail. Hi, I'm William. My name's Warren.

I'm 22 from Long Island, New York. I've been listening on the iTunes app for about two years now. I wrote it once before and you answered my question, but it was completely different from this one. I've been seeing a guy for a little over a month now. He's a little bit younger, he's 20, but he's really mature and respectful for his age. And I usually don't date younger, but I would prefer older guys, because guys around my age are still immature, but we used to work together and we were acquaintances and then we started seeing each other because I made the first move.

But yeah, so he just won't make a move on me like physically. We haven't had any chance to go anywhere alone as in either one of our houses, but I only see him around one to two times per week because of school and he works in the city 60s a week, but we'll make out and I get really horing everything, but he won't initiate anything. And I'm a human sexuality major, so I'm open and we talk about sex and he even said he took me to the sex museum in the city, But I'm trying to worry that something is wrong. He has a really abnormally small penis

or one ball sack or anything wrong with that. But I still do not actually attracted to me. It's good that we're moving slow when he's being respectful, which I'm not used to, but I'm glad he's not using me for sex, but I just didn't know if like I have to be the one initiating or I have to be more forward. So if you could please help me because I've never had this issue before and I would love to hear back from you and thanks so much for all that you do. And thanks to everyone else at the show.

Bye. Lauren. Okay. Lauren 22 New York dating the younger guy who's 20 and I heard so much in this, but really it's like, isn't me. I've never had this. She wants to like, is he down to track it to me? Pretty sure.

Her one of her theories was that he only has one ball sack. One ball, ask for me. One ball sack. That's normal. That is not right. We want one ball sack one ball and one ball sack. That's that's normal All right, we want one ball sack. Right. That's true. One ball. Yeah, she's like now there's nothing wrong with that Which I love it because she's human sexuality. She's all good It's great. He's a giver to say you know what human sexuality. I'll take you to the sex museum there We'll go looking at other people like sex if you was in a biology. I'll take you to the natural history museum probably right?

Yeah, I think that we're spending a lot of time on this guy, Lauren, that you've gone out with a few times. He's 20. He's probably nervous. You're empowered 22-year-old sex major talking about sex. No woman's ever talked about sex, if you work stuff for a seventh grade like math teacher, Jim teacher who teaches whatever. That'd be illegal. No, but when I teach sex, I have seventh grade. The point is either he's scared to make the move and you're just going to have to keep making the move until he feels more comfortable. You're gonna be the teacher here

or like you just gotta move on that if you're not comfortable. You could try to, you're not seeing him a lot. He's in the city, but he's really busy. Like I don't think that you should put all your eggs in this one basket. Let's just say that. It seemed like it's, I know when you're in it, it feels like it's the whole thing, but it's like.

She's overthinking this. It's way overthinking. But we do this Lauren, yeah, she said that they haven't really they've been in public So and she said no one's you know He's not making a move, but then they're making out a lot that someone's making that move Yeah, but still there is something not he's not touching her boobs Right, she also said that they haven't been in privacy alone at either one of those houses So they're tapping in the back of cabs or like an alleyways or something. There's so much you can do, right?

And stay up in the bed. That's true too, maybe your parents are home. You go with your parents. And if you get an opportunity, it might be in the back of Travis Bickles' taxi cab. Give it a shot though. Go for his pants, go down his pants. If he's got something going on down there,

he will swap you away. That's true, you'll either know that this is- Especially after a few minutes of making out. Yeah. Yeah. No guys gonna like not let you unless he's got like a vagina down there. Right, or dry hump him.

Right. Right, you'll know if he has a, depending on what kind of pants he's wearing. Well, but you could tell that dry hump up, but you could try, you're saying figure out if he's hard, right? Tough as penis. Yeah, or make sure that he's concerned.

I don't think there's a problem down there. He's so turned on Lauren. I can tell you're a sexy, high-worming. No, he's totally into, he's hanging out with you. Guys at this age, and he's not gonna keep hanging out with you. And wanting to see you if he's not attracted. I don't think he's looking for new friends,

probably isn't to you, but either he's got some learning to do. What could he do in public though? I mean, it sounds like you guys are doing what's acceptable and legal in public, which is making out. Right, he might be a virgin, and is never going to be with anyone else. There's a lot of things going on here.

I would not spend too much time about this. First of all, it's great practice for you. You said you are talking to him a lot of things going on here. I would not spend too much time about this. To be, first of all, it's great practice for you. You said you are talking to him a lot about sex, but here's my question. Are you just kind of circually talking about sex? Are you saying, hey, dude, I love, I got it. I was mastering the day I was thinking about you

like licking my nipples. Just say that to him. Mm-hmm. What, well, like, why are you telling him and say I'm wondering if you're feeling this attraction because I'm totally into you and I want to be like, I fancy about us hook it up. I mean, just tell him straight to his face,

that's what you're thinking because you actually have nothing to lose here. Because she's gone out with him so many times. That might freak out a guy who's like, if he is a virgin, he no one's ever talked to him about sex. I'm like, no, I find it. And she's coming out of him with like, you know, I was beating off to you the other day

thinking about you looking at my nips. That might be a little bit of a two strong. But she's already talking to him about sex but I have a feeling she's not saying things that are making him act It's like this microfellus and say that you've always wanted to see one No, no, and then he'll feel big no matter what because it's probably not I mean, yeah Maybe that is a little I know I don't think it's too sexual I think that you got to push this envelope here or you're wasting time Lauren. We spend so much

Yeah, we spend a lot of time Obsessing my relationships that are just just just wrong for us or the signs are here to me I'm like Lauren your hot 22 year old spark chick like keep going But you could so I say if you say you don't may I'm thinking about less hucking up. Where can we go? So what? See that goes. Yeah, set something up if you're taking the lead I mean, set something up whether it's like I hate them the idea of a movie theater But somewhere where you could have a little more privacy or God God forbid one of your houses, and just maybe send them like I said, a subtle text like,

hey, I really want to take this to the next level this week, and he'll know what that means. Totally. Where can we go? Right. And let him take the rain. Because he's not like your future husband now, right? That's, if you send that text, I want to take this to the next level. Next time you're off work, not in the city, come up with a plan.

He'll do it. Maybe. Yeah. Hopefully. And if he does it, you're right. Give him a little test. Yeah. Make him do something for you. Yeah, make him do something. It's all good.

Good advice. Sounds like you've been staring along in that. It's 20 is a lot. Like when you're 20, 22, it's so different than being like 35 and 37. Like there's just a difference. It's so funny because she considers that like she's dating the younger man

but they're like the same age. I know, but yes, yeah. But also men mature way. Yeah, 22 and 20 is a huge difference. 20 is like, oh god. But it's not in the grand scheme. Like, you know, 10 years from now, but but also men mature way. Yeah, 20 20 is a huge 20's like, oh god, but it's not the grand scheme. Like, you know, 10 years from now, won't be anything. No, won't be anything. Okay, Lauren, thank you for listening to the show

and I love that you're studying human sexuality and staying touch with us and let us know and thank you for everything. I took that class. It's a good story. It was really, really fucking uncomfortable. It's one of the most uncomfortable moments my entire life.

I had to go up and roleplay. It was like one of the first days of class and it was like a symposium and this really attractive girl I got hooked up with me So there's like three couples on stage and we're roleplaying some kind of like sex sexual scenario and this girl She's super attractive. Yeah, I was college and she was there with like a real like homie thuggy guy I don't even know if he was in the class. I think he was just like super protective of her And you sitting in the front row watching as I had to pretend like I was trying to get her to come home with me, using like pick up lines and stuff.

And I was like half watching him and trying to talk to her. It was on. You were asking. There were like 200 people watching. It was horrific. That's horrible. They were like, so show how to inappropriately ask someone out like, is that it?

Or they were like, yeah, I was kind of like trying, you know, I think that she was supposed to like be denying me and I was supposed to be at a bar. That's what we got set up with our role playing. Yeah. And I just saw this guy just stare at me and I was supposed to be at a bar. That's what we got set up with our role playing. Yeah. And I saw this guy just stare at me and I'm like, am I going to have to fight this guy after class? It was hard.

That's hilarious. I never took it when I took it. It was hard. No, that's good. That's probably more than most people have in education. It's true. And then you are in love line for 50 years. So, okay.

Thank you, Anderson. Everyone can find you in all your 16 million podcasts, even though this is your favorite. Yes, yes, yes, Cinematics, we're always doing some of the lesser her movies we highlight really good movies that people miss otherwise and it's all Anderson cowin dot com Alan dot com C O W a and you can also get groupers shirts over there Sign DVDs once the movie's done numbered DVDs. I should say. Yeah, we're still we're plugging forward I think the next time I'm on your show, actually, we might be in post-production.

Wow. Three weeks of shooting coming right up. Thank you, everyone, for supporting his show. His groupers, I'm really proud of you. Thanks, everybody. It's great to see you. You're still a handsome. Thank you to my whole team.

I love you and thanks to everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪