Sex With Emily - Open Minds and Open Marriages with Jason Ellis

Episode Date: May 19, 2017

As we progress in time, space and science, we’re also making progress in the way we understand sex and relationships. On today’s show, Emily is joined by modern renaissance man and radio show host, Jason Ellis, and the two are talking open relationships, masturbation, threesomes and answering your emails! Jason hosts his own radio show, fights MMA, is a professional skateboarder and he’s currently enjoying an open relationship with his fiance—and the two couldn’t set a better example of open communication. Emily and Jason help listeners figure out whether an open marriage will solve their own marital issues, how to keep jealousy from joining a threesome and give some hot toy suggestions for oral. Plus, the pair discuss Jason’s own sex life (masturbation included). Nothing is off limits with these two, so tune in! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: FT London, Audible, System Jo and Womanizer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm here with Renaissance Man Jason Ellis. He hosts his daily series XM Radio Show, he's got a podcast called Ellis Dronex, he's an MMA fighter, skateboarder, amazing dad, and just an all-around sexy man. So glad he's here today. We're also tackling your sex and relationship questions. Topics include Best Tips for Successful Threesome, Ways to tips for successful threesome, ways to up your oral sex game, how to know if an open relationship will work for you and what to do if your wife isn't into your sexual explorations. All this and more, thanks for listening. Thanks so much to Audible for supporting the show, look for Esther Perrell's new series and Audible channels,

which I'll tell you more about later in the show. I'll tell you more about later in the show. You just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm so broke.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information. Go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out everything going on. You guys on the website, we have amazing content. Subscribe to the podcast so you'll never miss a show again. We release two a week.

You can also go to sexandly.com slash podcast. That's really easy. And if you want to shop my store, do that because all the amazing things I talk about, most of them are available in the store. And follow me on social media, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, it's all at sex with Emily. And since it's May, still masturbation month, you guys still happening.

I want you to email me your favorite masturbation routine if you have a special ritual, a toy that you love, music, scent, something that you think about, let me know feedback at sexwithemle.com. And let me know I made me 31, still know feedback at sex with Emily dot com and let me know I made 31st you'll win a special sex with Emily masturbation sexy prize because that's not about I want to get oh also here's a thing I have a subscription box every it's every quarter you can get a box from unbound box is on my website and this month's theme it's a mutual masturbation box

I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation you know I talk about a lot I mean a lot mutual masturbation box. I'm a huge fan of mutual masturbation. You know, I talk about a lot I mean a lot of masturbation the umbrella of masturbation where you go beneath their mutual masturbation do with a partner It's got things to help you out with that process So I'm really excited for my guest today Jason Ellis is here. Hi Jason. Hello, Emily. So good to see you There's so much more mellow today. Well, because you're kind of in pain and stuff. I'm not in pain No, you're not in pain. I shouldn't say that. You've been through a lot.

I'm worn out, but I'm not. Right, you're in pain. Physically, there you go. I'm worn out, but mentally I'm shocked. You've never been stronger. You've never been stronger. Yeah. You're amazing, man.

You're a rhinoscience man. I get that. I'm joking. No, you're not. I smell like a cigar. I started smoking cigars today because I want to celebrate. I don't feel so good about doing that. No, really?

I don't know. Maybe I need to get it better or want something. I don't know. Probably. Maybe I don't do it. You're gonna do it. You're gonna do it. How much you spent, really?

Like the whole thing. You look the whole cigar? Yeah. Really? What are you not supposed to? I don't know. I mean, it comes in one whole thing. You're supposed to smoke it right?

I guess so, but I feel like guys were like passing around and putting it out and like, you know. It's not a doobie, man. No, you're right. Okay, so you did that before just before you came here? Yeah. You didn't smell like a cigar. Well, I did it on the way to my house

because I'm giving my truck and needs to get fixed. I gave it to my friends. And now he's driving in my, cigar smell. I'm so glad I didn't let him in my truck. And I've never had a cigar infested car before. So when he texted me saying, your car stinks, I was like,

suffer. I've never in me like, you're driving my car, right? What are you doing? He's borrowing us, I'll fix it. Oh yeah, your parents. He's making it do bigger burnouts. It's one of my favorite pastimes.

Burnouts. Yeah, yeah. What do you do with that? Just bag the tires up and make smoke over and make loud noises. I'm a moron. I'm like a 12 year old. I know you are. That's what I love about you.

Because, what if, if you guys don't know Jason L. says, which I can't imagine you don't, we've a ton of listeners from Australia by the way Yeah, so you could say hi to your people. Oh, man Australia right, but you've been here for how long? 26 years or something got a piece of the hot accent satellite radio host you guys are all listening to podcasts. You have to check out his podcast which is the Ellis tronics that's electronics. You're also on Series XM. Yep.

Five friggin days a week speaking for three hours. Yep, three and a half hours. And that's your own channel. No, it's the Jason and I'll show it on Faction Talk. And I used to be on Faction Music and then, because the show got so big, they moved me to a talk channel and then they named it Faction Talk. So it's kind of like, I'm the headliner of it,

but it's not my channel, I just... Okay, but it kinda is in a way. You're probably gonna say that's what, yeah. So what times do I don't have that on your channel? Eight in the morning, eight till 11, 15 in the morning, a Pacific time, which is 11 to one or whatever, Eastern, and then there's a replay on Faction 41, which is one to four PM Pacific. Got it. People and then also, these are just the other things I need to know.

Professional skateboarder, mixed martial arts fighter, truck racer, boxer, rock singer, actor, author, cigar, smoker. That's one new one. That's one new one. I love it. I love everything about you. I love that you, like, I was just checking out Twitter, like, they play your replay of your show and people are like, why isn't there a replay? Like, people are obsessed. Yes, I know. Like, every day, three hours of talking

and your podcast, they just love me. I have to handle all of them, because if it doesn't work, it's all my fault. True. It is all your fault. But people want you, like, they can't get enough of you. I don't know about that, but, but I'm very happy that people like to show.

I'm very, very fortunate. Yeah. When we came highly recommended, so that's what I'm in your show the first time. I think I went out like a year ago, and that people like to show. I'm very, very fortunate. Yeah, we came highly recommended. So that's why I went on your show the first time. I think I went out like a year ago, and that went recently, and it was a good time. So, okay, so you're just saying that you are in a, you're in a good place right now.

Yeah, I'm just, just get us to work in. Best place ever. Yep. You're newly sober. Yep. 11 months and four days now, so almost a year. I'm proud of you I'm gonna go to my birthday. It's gonna be a birthday. Well, you know, there's sober birthday. Oh that birthday Yeah, yeah, it's a big it's when you're 45 you sober birthday is a far more exciting than actually

I get it. I get it. So well congratulations on all that so you said you're like a kid like you plan around right all the things that you do You're like a kid, like you plan around, right? All the things that you do, you're like, you are. You're, you're, I'm an organized child. Are you that organized? Yeah, yeah, I run stuff. You make shit happen. Hell you. How's your, how's your relationship?

Cause we talk a lot about sex. So, so Jason does, all these, you've been doing all these amazing things, just want to make fight this weekend. And I think it's incredible what you've been through. And I love talking about your sex life, because I'm always intrigued. I'm super open, so go for it. I love it.

Well, okay, so when I first met you like a year ago on your podcast, I didn't know anything. All I knew was Dr. Drew, who played this game, I talked about this, we were on his radio show, and it was like, it kind of was like that fuck Mary Kill game, you know? And it came out like all the men in the world like you would marry you.

He loved you, Dr. Drew. And I was like, oh, I expected something different. Like from when I met you. I don't know what I expected. But I didn't expect Dr. Drew. No, you don't. Like your handsome, tattooed, strong, sexy man. You think he'd be a little bit more of a girl, you know?

I don't know what. And then just that you were so, well, no, cause really what happened was I walked into your first show and I I don't know what. And then just that you were so well know, cause really what happened was, I walked into your first show, and I really didn't know that, and you said, oh yeah, so what do you think about, like my girlfriend, like, or she pegged me? What do you think about pegging?

That's what it was. I was like, we're going there. Like I just didn't think that the guy that drew wanted to like mere, well, maybe that makes more sense. That you were into that. And then we talked about your sex life and that you were just more open, exploring. I think Drew funds me attracted because he knows I'm a guy that is up for anything and

he has a lot of quirks about doing stuff. Exactly. And he wants to go to somebody that is so free. I think that's what he's attracted to. You're right. Yeah, I get it. I guess it all makes sense now. Right.

And then I came back to see you with your girlfriend and now your wife. No, no, yeah. We're married at August. Okay. Yeah. It's a big wife. Yeah, no, no, yeah. We're married at August. Okay. Yeah. It's a big year. Yeah, right?

Yeah. I'm happy for you. Hey, me too. And we just talked about how's it? You said, so you're straight now your sex life is a little, you've taken a pause. We were working out getting ready for the fight. It's not by choice. It's just my sex drive has gone down dramatically because I think

that every bit of testosterone that I have, I put into the gym, when you're 45 and you train to be a mixed martial artist, everybody in the gym is at least 10 years younger than me, maybe younger. Most of them are better than me because that's their life. I'm a guy that used to be a pro skateboarder, there's a radio host who's broken like 30 bones and been knocked out and tendons and all this. So I have a lot of injuries, a lot of other stuff that I have to deal with.

When you put in the effort that it takes to fight three, five minute rounds, it's a lot. It's a lot of cardio, it's a lot of like, and it's not just normal cardio. Like, can I run for an hour? Of course I can run for an hour, but can you sprint for a minute and then rest for a minute? It takes a lot and you know, and you've been doing this for the last two months. I mean, I've been training,

but to train for a fight is a different thing in time. Yeah. And it's very demanding and you need recovery time. And I have a job, I have two kids, I actually have like four jobs, and I run a lot of other businesses. And, you know, I mean, I'm a job, I have two kids, I actually have like four jobs, and I run a lot of other businesses, and I mean I'm a good fiance, I work hard on trying to keep a lot of people happy, and I got a lot of arguments that I have to have with other businesses and companies to keep going, because I handle my own shit most of the time, so you can cast right. Fuck yeah.

Okay, so you need your rest, you need to, you die, and all this stuff needs to be critical You know mean so it takes a lot of a real Serious amount of energy to it's not a 25 year old It's a 45 year old so when I get my I have to get my rest so to try and be Involved in sex after dinner. That's like another hour where I could be asleep. And that's just, I know that sounds really cold. Oh, you got a pick and choose, but here's my question for you.

When you said you're trying to keep everyone else happy, are you happy? Yeah, I mean, I'm happy keeping people happy. And I'm not talking about everybody. No. I mean, like my fiancee can't. You can't be here today, you know, you have to, you know. You put what I mean? My fiancee takes care of me. You can't murder me, you know, you have to, you know.

You put it in again, if it's gonna break me, I ain't coming. They're not gonna break me. You know what I'm saying? I'm calculated with things. Can I do it? Can I take care of my, well I'll tell my fiance, I'm like, I can't move.

I'm like, I cannot move today. Like I'm just gonna sit here and ask myself, maybe I'll get up and I'll go and to the cryo place and freeze my body. That's amazing. But that's it. Like I can't move, maybe I'll get up and I'll go to the cryo place and freeze my body. That's amazing. But that's it. I can't move and then I'll sleep and then I'm okay the next day.

And that's how our team works. She knows that I don't bullshit. If I can't walk, it's because I can't walk. That's the end of it. Would you say this is your the healthiest relationship you've been in? Yeah, but that's not really saying too much because all of them have been pretty bad. But this is the first time I've ever been completely honest with myself and with my partner in every single aspect

of a relationship. Tell me more about that. I mean, we were just talking about bachelor parties today on my show. And I was like, if you have a bachelor party where you can't tell your future wife what you did at your bachelor party, you shouldn't be getting married.

I so agree with you. So if you need to go to a strip club secretly, or you think it's necessary to have sex with a prostitute, then you shouldn't get married. I. Like you should just, like for me, they're like, we are you getting married in two months? What are you gonna do for a bachelor party?

I'm like, I didn't have a bachelor party. What the hell is that? My entire life was a bachelor party. Yeah, my entire life is still a bachelor party. The day after the wedding, it doesn't, I get to do whatever I want. Right. Because you guys are like an open relationship still.

Yeah. And it doesn't get that crazy because we're allowed to. And the novelty is worn off. It's like we could have sex with everybody and everybody wants to have sex with this. Let's do that. And then, you know, the drama that comes with it and the conversations with people, because usually, you know, the drama that comes with it and the conversations with people,

because usually, you know, it's very rare to- Yeah, the talk to them. It's rare to wanna have sex with a couple or with another girl or another guy, and they don't have an issue. Like, we're very stable and we're super open and we have no fear when it, like obviously, make sure you don't have any diseases

or anything, but once that's clear, we'll do anything with you. Right. And then the next day, there's no weird hang-up. Like, I don't, you know what I mean, you could have a bigger dick or she could have, she could be the hottest chicken in the world. I don't care.

Like, you're coming home with me and that's the end of it. But how did you get to that place, would you say? In the past, you said your relationships weren't as healthy, but because we've a lot of questions, a lot of people ask us, should I be in a relationship? How does my wife get over jealousy or I am jealous or how did you get to this place? You just got to be comfortable with yourself and you got to trust your partner. I mean, when I was younger, it never really worked. If people ask me, should I have a three-step, I would just say honestly,

if I have, because it's a stupid question, you should be asking me, you should ask yourself. But if you're asking me, I would say no, because if you're asking, and then there's a little bit of hesitation, then you've got drama on your hands. And if you really love the person you're with, do you wanna add drama to it

so that you can have an extra pussy in the scene? Because it doesn't solve me, right? And it's kind of overrated. So no more about that. I don't know. I mean, I've had so many orgies and threesomes and dicks and pussies everywhere. And I probably one hand, I can count the ones where I was like, that was amazing. And there was no backlash from it.

Right. You got to be really very heading into these things. Yeah. That's part of the process you learn from them. you know, each one, I guess you learn how to do it better, but you're right. People like, that's like the holy grail because they just want something other than what they have. That's how I was. They want the newness. They want something different. So it also comes with experiment age 25. You couldn't have felt this way because you wouldn't have had all those orgies and pussy's. Well, I also

think you don't, you know, there comes like a, you know, wisdom, you know, when you're 25, you're like, maybe, maybe that, maybe she does like him more than she likes me or, you know, or You know a girl that I haven't slept with like I want to have sex with her more than I want to have sex with the girl that I'm with because I've never had sex with this girl And then the girl that I'm with is like wait, you're paying too much attention to her This is this is this is a no do not do this Okay, you can't you if the girl's like, you're pumping that girl too much, then you shouldn't be pumping anybody.

Exactly. Because that, if you're looking at it the wrong way, it's like, I want, if somebody's fucking my fiancee really good, good. We didn't get into this for him to fuck her poorly. Right. That's such a healthy ad, you'll be able to understand that.

But they can't walk through it because they haven't had, we've like three questions out of about that. Just thinking about yourself, that's what it is. You're like, I want to have a. But they can't walk through it because they have an, we've like three questions I'd have to move up. That's what it is. You're like, I want to have a threesome from me. Right. And I always go. Most guys, six with a girl and another girl

because they want to have sex with two pussies and feel like the king of the world. And they don't care what they have to do to drag their significant other into this thing. And a lot of sad stories are that the girl is okay with it to keep the man. And that's not the best solution. It's the worst solution.

The worst. So what would you tell a guy that, because yes, now every guy's emailing me now about or calling is 45, but like in their 20s, can you have this wisdom then? Like do you think that you would have known this? I mean, I'm telling couples all the time, wait till you're on solid ground, you don't have a threesome to solve your relationship. I'm always, you know, we talked about this on the show, but we're on the same page with this, but I don't know how else they're still going to want to do it.

It's almost like you had to go through that. I can let people make throw mistakes, but I'm telling you now if you love your partner and you're with them and you guys are in a good place, but you just need to spice things up. That's not the right way to do it. No, no, it's a risky move to say the least. And I love, oh, I wanted to go back to say the least. Oh, I wanted to go back to the bachelor party thing just real quick. I think that's really smart too. Again,

that's the other thing though. Like the whole guys are like, I want to even girls in their bachelor parties. They're like, I, this is why I'm doing it because I can never tell my partner again. They have this idea that once they get married, that's when they stop experimenting, stop doing all this stuff that's crazy and fun and exciting, but doesn't have to be that way. It's the opposite. You're right. I'm gonna get married,

I'm gonna get wild one more time before I get married and spend the rest of my lame life with you. Like wait, what? Right, it's like, I don't know where the culture will be there in religion. Society, no one's talking about this, really. I think it's because,

because we talked about it today, I think it's because when people got married when they were younger, and it was like, maybe this is, it is too soon, and when you get married, you are giving up your life. Things have changed now. You get married when you're older, a little more stable. This is not the end of it for you.

This is not the end of the road. This is the beginning. I think if you're 20 and you're getting married, and you are under the impression that this is the only person you're going to have sex for the rest of your think if you're 20 and you're gonna get married You'll and you and you are under the impression that this is the only person you're gonna have sex Hoop for the rest of your life and you're 20 that's some harsh I know I might want to get drunk and have sex with a prostitute too. That's exactly like terrifying I just say people shouldn't get married before 30 at least I agree completely right like what you don't know yourself But they don't know if they don't know theirself. I love it. They're so in love. It's the first thing I say I mean I'm lucky that I'm not sure what to do.

I'm like, how old are you? And if it's under 30, it's hard for me not to love at them. All right, do you get these questions? You understand? You don't understand a really lever. I'm like, you're 25. You don't even know what really loving anyone is. Exactly.

Yeah. It's a mistake, but you'll have to go through their own things. That's right. They get someone, they learn, and they're like, oh, no. I don't know. The hard way, sometimes that's the only way you like. It is. Well, I love it. You seem like, sometimes that's the only way you like. It is. Well, I love it.

You seem like you're in a good place. So you guys are not, can we go back to your sex life for a minute? So we were talking about, I love your sex. Even if it's right now, you're still there. No, we didn't have sex for maybe two weeks before the fight. We played around a little bit, but no actual. In the end, it was like, maybe we could, in the last two weeks, I was just like, you know what, I'm not gonna actually come. I'm just gonna hold it off because I just felt super low in sex drive, so that told me, and this could be, I'm not a doctor.

I felt like, if I'm super low in sex drive, then my testosterone is being tapped to the max. So I'm not gonna lose anything. And then I had this theory that if I get a direction a bunch of times, see some hot shit, look at my girlfriend from a different angle, get her friends to like take their tops off, get a boner and then leave and go to the gym. That's building more testosterone. I'm farming more testosterone.

So that's what you would do. You'd come to the point of not even close to orgasm. You just get turned on and then you go to the gym. Yep. Oh, it's a cavity cup of coffee, but better in a way. It's just something like that. I just get it. I get it.

No, it's good that she- And then the last couple of days it was getting pretty close and I was like, I'm just not still not gonna do it. And then she knew the last two days we didn't even touch each other. And then the night after the night of the fight, we had some friends over and things could have happened,

but I was, I mean, I still had blood pouring out of my face. I mean, you've been through, yeah. So they left, which I was okay with because I was still, that's the other thing. I figured after the fight, we're gonna have, you know, I'm gonna do this, gonna do that. But the fight didn't go the way that I thought it would go. It went to the very bitter end and I was drained. So I got to have sex the next morning and that was really cool because it had been two weeks. And since then we have not had time to do it, but it's coming.

I know. You guys, I'm sure you will. I gave you a lot of sex toys last time I was in your era. Do you remember this? I gave you all the sports. I got them. I also. Okay. I want to talk to you about masturb? I gave you all the sports sheets of. You got them. I got them. Okay, I want to talk to you about masturbation real quick because it's masturbation month and we had a bunch of questions that came in. So here's the thing, okay, so everyone, Jason's talking about,

he just came in, he's been knocked out, he won a huge fight this week last weekend. Just, what was the name of your fight? It was a king of the cage fight. Okay, it's like, it's a- It's huge and it was like, you got knocked out at the beginning, you came back and-

I didn't get knocked out, I got- I don't understand, I don't even wanna talk about it because it's like a chick, talk and it was a you got knocked out at the beginning. You came back. I got I don't say I don't talk about it because it's like a chick talk about sports. I suck at it But you do something awesome and you came back. Yeah, right. Okay, so party for that. Thank you. My masturbation so Went think back before the fight before the training. How often do you masturbate? Well, I masturbate in the steam room all the time because guys Try to jerk me off or whatever. So there's that kind of thing that happens Which you finish myself off. I don't really want to say the actual thing. We got it. Right. Okay. You're right Because it will maybe we'll get a lot more blow jobs. I get a lot of blow jobs You do and you just don't even know I'm the hottest person in it's like pretty girl

I know what it's like kind of to be an attractively. Because when I go there, everybody shits a brick and I'm like, this is fucking crazy. It's kind of great. How can anybody, you know what I'ma chewed up? Man, it's kind of weird. It's a good walk around there because I have a very straight. Large penis.

Well, that too, but I have a straight, and I'm uncut, and that seems to be a thing that gay guys love as well. There's like, I have all the things that a gay guy's really into, being straight. They love that, having a big dick, it's uncut. All those things, and I look buff, I've got a lot of tattoos, I look like a warrior of sorts, gay guys love that shit.

Love it. So there's just a constant, like I get like a little herium of gay guys following me into different steam rooms, like China, Jokob from front of me and stuff. And I'm just, I am like a little herm of gay guys following me into different steam rooms like trying to jerk off in front of me and stuff And I'm just I am like a stuck out pretty lady like I don't touch anybody I just sit there and they're like can I give you right? Yeah, and then I'll like maybe let somebody Jerk me off or maybe blow me if you're lucky like it like a stuck out little bitch and this was not you a year ago No, I mean it might have been just didn't tell anybody.

Okay, right, but now you've come out, you got so, I mean, this is like the whole, what an amazing transformation. I'm allowed to. I know this story gets told to my fiance when I get home from it, so this is, this is, no. See, this is what we're saying is that you shouldn't get married to someone you can't share all these stories with. And people are like, but I couldn't, but you can. You really can find someone that would be, I've got to. I haven't really been looking for it, but now it's, but you can. You really can find someone that would be, I've got to. I haven't really been looking for it,

but now it's a longer story about what I want, but I get that this is what I would want. I don't want any secrets. I don't want to cheat. It's hard. Like, I was squeezed to tell the truth. I felt like, even when she was like, you can tell me anything guys, like,

I don't, not this one. I mean, you got to admit, the story I just told you right then. I don't think a lot of women find me attractive when I say that. About what the men took it. I mean, you're saying that. don't think a lot of women find me attractive when I say that. About what the men do. I mean, you're saying that, I know. I'm not that cool.

You're sexy when you say it. I get it, the women might not. You know what I mean? I do it, I get it. But my fiance thinks that it's hot, and we laugh about, we laugh about guys that, I'll be like this guy came in and had like a giant dick and just sat in the corner and she's like, because she loves the Toma Finland stuff.

She's super into the gay guy, the big bus gay guys that wear leather chaps and stuff. She's kind of a gay guy, that's why it works out. But if there's anybody that's really big in there, I'll tell her the story when I get home and she just thinks that it's the funniest shit ever. And we laugh about it. And she's with women and men.

She made it with a, I was making it after my fight, one of my friends, she's in porn, she cut her tongue cut, so it's like a snake, and I made out with her, that was all I did, we made out with her, but she's got a split tongue. She's so hot. She's got it split, I don't know what that is. She's so open, her tongue goes like this.

But she cut it so dead. Yeah, yeah. I've kind of heard about this. They've stitched up so it's permanent like that and she can make both sides move around. That's fucking crazy. I know, I'm gonna get a blowjob from her. You did, you're going to. I knew I did.

There was people in the room, most inappropriate time, but it's coming. Okay, I believe that. I believe that you could probably get a blowjob. She said she would. Which is a pretty good place to be in the world But it by a serpent Do I don't know anyone else has done that It's a medal right? Yeah, I mean, I don't even know

But you're happy and getting lots of blow jobs, and I'm really happy for you. Thank you. Appreciate it Here's a thing on masturbation you know this yes Probably people like why do you need a month for masturbation? I didn't make it up. What do you do? What? A month for masturbation. I didn't make up masturbation. Why not? However, I should have. I didn't think of it.

I didn't make up analogue is either. It's good to teach self-knowledge. I didn't come fast if you masturbate. Exactly. So let's talk about some of your masturbation, things that you've learned through masturbation because, yeah, let's go. Let's go with that. But people guys don't get it.

They're like, I can just come this way. What do I need to know about masturbation? How can it improve my sex life, understanding of my body? You've done talked to me Jason. Well, I've got a jacket So that's cheating. I don't need lube. I could just jerk off in my full skin. Right. So that's I've noticed a lot of guys that are cut Need to add a lot of lube to stuff. Well, that's for fun. That's all right. We love leave here in lube I mean, lube works for me too. I'm just saying it. You're lucky that you don't need to live. Yeah, because you can, it's kind of like Jack and I find out the t-shirt.

Okay. That actually wouldn't work, but it works for me. I get it. Okay, so you, anyway. And you heard your practice. I feel like for me, especially when I was drinking and smoking weed every day, when I first got sober, I started coming early. I didn't have the control that I used to have for months,

and it was freaking me out. I was fucking like a 20 year old again. I was like, man, I was thinking of other things while I was having sex to try to slow it down. I was like, are you seriously doing that? Like your aunt is throwing my stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was starting to, because I can't spell stuff,

so I started spelling things that slowed it down big time. You're like, I'm going to get into this word. Is there no apostrophe? Okay, so you, so because a lot of guys, they premature ejaculate, they don't know. So was that for a minute, 30 seconds? Wait, having, like, we'll inject it off.

No, joking off is different. Joking off, I can joke off for 15, 20 minutes, I can come in in two minutes, that's just like, You're saying during sex. During sex, you were commenting, I would let Katie come two times and then I'll go.

Right. This time, for at least two months, she's about to come the first time and I'm spellin' shit in my head because I'm gonna come. Right, and that's after whatever half the time that it used to be. Yeah, I don't know.

What'd you do? Tell me about your technique. You said down, I'll cut, member. Yeah, I would, I'd just go back to edging myself chair. I cut a down the chair. I cut a down the chair. I cut a down the chair. I cut a down the chair. I cut a down the chair. I cut a down the chair. Yeah, I would just go back to edging myself.

I would jerk off till I was about to come and then I would stop let it go down a little bit and then jerk off again and just keep pacing myself. How many days do you have to do that for? In a row, you got to be stick with it. Like, it's a new gym. Yeah, no, like a month. I did all the time. I did all the time.

Right, so guys, do we have some questions? Did we have a question about this? I feel like we did, maybe, about edging or... Because edging is when you get to the point, guys, I gotta practice this. You can't do it once, you're gonna get to work. All I still come quickly. It's like a discipline, but you're masturbating anyway.

Tadi shoot hoops. Right. People think it's just like you just like go over there and shoot it and it goes in over and over again? No. So you keep going exactly. So you start masturbating in your home and you're like, of course you wanna come.

But then you're about to and you stop. It's like a juxtapour control learning that point of no return. So you successfully did that and now you're back Yeah, and then things just not it wasn't overnight I would say it was longer than that really like it because I feel like I'd be in the clear and then all of a sudden It would start again and I'd be like wait is this gonna happen again? It was probably six months really of You know me with things would get hot and heavy and all of a of, you know, me with things would get hot and heavy and all of a sudden, you know, I mean, the sex would be good and I'd be like, oh my god, I'm like, I got a stop. She's like, what? I'm like, I'm gonna come. She's like, really again. And I'm like, yeah, I know. So there was, and it used to be, I was just like

porn star style. I'd just be like, how much more do you want? Right. Because I'll just keep going. I will be here all night. And and then I could make and then I could pop when I wanted to like a porn star but not not for like I want to say longer than six months it got to the point where I started to get angry about it and she was like it's okay I'm like it's not okay and then you started doing the edging yeah I don't understand so then you did the edging for like a month to yeah probably longer okay just keep going just keep doing it and then I This one trying to understand so then you did the edging for like a month too. Yeah, probably long ago. Okay. Just keep doing it and then it's sort of like a frame of mind when I realize that there's

that part where I know I can reach an orgasm, then you're in a headspace where I'll just stay in that spot before I come. And then you stay in there long enough, maybe a couple minutes and then it's like a wave and you go past it and then you can just stay in that group. So train your body, I love that, because you know, guys, should we go to the, let's go to those questions on the, there was some good, you can help me with this,

because I don't have a penis. So these are from Snapchat, I ask people on Snapchat, you can do Snapchat all the time too, yeah, where do you add Snapchat? I'm Ellis mate, 41. Every time I go to a computer, I find it hard to resist porn sites and I masturbate. How can I stop this? Do you ever have a problem with porn or do you watch porn?

Not a problem, but... Um, not really. I mean, sometimes I watch porn. It's very... I'm so critical. So watching porn is... I usually end up making fun of somebody. So having sex while you're making fun of somebody

doesn't really work. And as I said before, I'm not joking off anymore. If I'm gonna have sex, I'm having sex. So joking off in front of porn is once again wasting that sex. But a lot of people have these sex addiction or whatever. I think that to stop watching,

we're just seeing porn sites when you masturbate is like you just, it's you gotta discipline. Yeah. You just really, that every time you go to the computer, you just go this time and you say, you know what, I'm not gonna do it. Like I know that I want to, impulsively in this moment,

and I'm not, and then you wait five minutes, and you go, have your go to site that you go to, and that's not porn, or take it off your, you know, you can't take it. You can put childsafe locks on your computer. I think it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's not chatting you about having a problem

going to porn sites. You made the effort to hit you up, but you don't you about having a problem go on to porn sites. You made the effort to hit you up, but you don't make the effort to not go on to porn sites. Right, right, exactly. Like if it's that much of a problem, don't go on there. It ain't tobacco. Don't try and tell me it's in your sister and give you the shakes for three days.

Right, I don't know. Just don't go on there. I know that's what people gotta do. So we can't help but- Eat a sandwich. Exactly. Buy your girlfriend some flowers. It's so true.

Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to this show. Thank you, Jason Ellis for being here. You're awesome. Thanks for supporting my sponsors. Yeah. We love you. We'll be right back with the questions. We're going to answer emails and change your life.

Okay. Jason Ellis, you're amazing. I love listening to you and your stories. I'm so glad you're going to help me because I get a lot of emails and questions from listeners. We're actually starting to take calls, which has been great. Everyone, you can just email me, sexwithmv.com, click on the Ask Emily, form, fill it out. And if you want to be called, we will call you, just click the Yes button or send your emails.

This is an email show. As you're going to see, you can also text me your questions. Text Ask Emily to 7979, 7979. That's a whole new thing. We tried for 69. It wasn't available. I know that was your next question. Okay, as always include your information that will help me your age where you live, how you listen to the show. Here we go. Oh, I need my blow job strike. So, do you know what this blow job spray is? No. Okay. You know when you're on the radio, like, you're, you're, you're, you're getting a blow-me?

I feel like it wouldn't be special. I mean, it would be awesome. But I feel like you get so when you blowjob that, I just feel like I... Oh, man, if I show myself down. Wait, you're spraying yourself with blowjob spray. Because it helps with the... It helps with the...

I don't want to be like, make that, you know, my mouth. So I want to be my mouth to be well lubricated. Wait, is it a lube? You spray it in your mouth and it's in your mouth? It's like, no, make sure it know my mouth. So I want to be my mouth to be well lubricated. Wait is it a loop? It spray in your mouth and it's not very it's like no it makes sure it's so you're your mouth. It's dry mouth spray Hey, it's by a doc Johnson. It's called good head So you can also give a good head or good radio. It's a two-fer you can have some I'd rather a blowjob I just feel like you could see me like oh it wouldn't even be well, okay I know that I I mean that's pretty tough stuff like you could say you'd be like, oh, I think it wouldn't even be.

Well, okay, I know that I'm really proud of my photo, Jeff Stubb that you would say that. You were just telling me about the people, there was a line to put it like that. How did you say it took everybody up, one, eh? I know. I'm 45, I don't just get sucked off all day. No, that's sound like it, just like on the weekend.

Every now and then, I will have a suck off party and that's one day, and then I'll- Oh, I mean, you can invite me to that one. I could just wait, I wouldn't be that. If you were a special person to me, and it wouldn't matter, I would definitely, it wouldn't have a bunch of blood jobs before you, but even if I did, you'd call me,

would be a fucking extravagance. It would be. Just know that I would have to reciprocate. Yeah, okay, we can start there maybe. I would prefer to start there. My man, I love it. She comes first. I'm getting tingly in my pants.

I know me too. This is so fun. Okay, Jason, we'll readress that. We'll address that again later. I'm losing my speech, but I have a moist mouth. Hi, Emily, love your show. I enjoy listening and get a lot of helpful tips to make my sex life way better. I got a question. My girlfriend and I really want to have a lot of helpful tips to make my sex life way better. I got a question. My girlfriend and I really want to have a threesome and we're talking about it and we're

getting really excited. We've never had a threesome before and I'm going for She Comes First, which is the whole thing I attack around on the show. She has to come first, which makes sex life great. How can I get into threesome without giving one the feeling of being neglected? I want this to be a nice, relaxing time with lots of fun and no jealousy. What can we do? Thanks, regards, George from Germany.

We kind of touched on this earlier. But you are the three, so I think we had a three-some one, so you don't even remember. That's how many points. I didn't say that about it. Okay, okay. So, but you've had a lot. And so this is the kind of questions we could ask. We've been talking about it.

We're both kind of excited. I think there's another question here, like another girl says, wife's not so excited, but anyway, let's say they are both, let's say for the sake of this question, they're both really excited, they're on board. They've covered all the ground, they've set the rules, they've set the, you know, you can't kiss her or whatever.

Kind of kiss, to help. I don't know, people make these rules, you can't have sex, I know, because during the moment you to do it all. Threesome. Everyone has males and vaginas and buttholes. Lots of warfaces to the bell. Everyone's going to touch everything. I got you. How do you do it? That's fun. And what have you learned? Well, the first rule of threesome club is that if you're the other the person that is the the guest in this reason, and I'm assuming there's a man and a girl here and then another girl, the other girl is lost.

She's the girl that doesn't get as much attention as your girl. Your girl gets the most attention. So you need to remember that at all times and the second one would be you need to make sure that there isn't a situation where one of them is sitting there out of the game. You need to make sure that they're both in play at all times. How do you do that? I mean, you've got a penis and a mouth. You know, I mean, so I always have a pussy connected to one of them. Right. Or they're connected with each other and

you're organizing that. And you can like tickle the bits that they have free. But you're definitely, it's... It's not about your penis. No, I mean, you're the one, you're the only one that has one. So of course it's gonna be about you in the end. By the fault. Yeah.

But in your brain, you gotta prioritize. You get too giddy, cause get giddy, and they stop slamming into one of them, and they can't use their hands or their mouth, well, because their penis is busy, and that's a game that you need to learn quick, and you also need to not come. You need to make sure that they come at least once each

before you even think about it. I feel like really, you need an athletic penis. You need to be like, have you girls had enough orgasms and then the end of the threesome is when you come. Unless you're a guy that can come and keep it up, I don't know that guy, cause usually there's a break there. So there's a little practice here

and for man, little longer, that's a great rules. And also I tell, you know, some, they establish rules we had a time meeting or even are we both, are we truly comfortable with this? this and some couples say look I don't want her to sleep over or I don't want you to have penetrating. No you don't want her sleeping the bed. Yeah you don't sleep in the bed. Figure all that stuff out and then that's a great answer.

I agree that you got to prioritize because that's how you that's how she get jealous. If she thinks if you're kissing this girl for one second longer, she's going to piss to you. It's a good answer. Okay, hi Emily. My boyfriend are coming up on a year together and have recently started experimenting with adding toys to the mix. We both use toys alone, but never with a partner. We're both loving the new freedom and exploration with no judgment.

More recently, he was playing with me a toy and a performing oral, which was amazing. But then, he added himself inside me while the toy was inside me. When I started to have the big O which happens intensely in multiple times the toy begins to push out of me. Are there any suggestions for toys that may stay in place better and out less the intense pushing and tightening of the muscles? And do you have any advice for more risque toys and oral sex tips besides and positions besides the typical positions. Any device to be great. Some of our new exciting play has been because we've been listening to your podcasts

about four play, a partner masturbation, Beth, 34, Pennsylvania. Isn't there like a, I mean, there's a plug that is like on a ball so you can sit on it that way you can keep your pressure to keep it on or you can have those ones that stick on the wall. So you can push up against it if it starts to come out. Oh, like a vibrator that sticks on the wall

or a butt plug, you're not. Both. There's ones that stick on the wall. There's ones you can get on a ball. So you sit on the ball and it's. How come I don't, I sit on a ball. A vibrator. A vibrator that sits on a ball.

I know like the Stibi and the only thing that I know that you like sit on. No, you can get like balls, so you blow out the ball, and then the device sticks on the ball, and then you sit over it. So you kind of- So you have this suction, like it's like coming up, like a penis tick.

Oh, the one I have, we had it, there's a butt plug that was attached to the ball. Oh, the butt plug. Yeah. Okay, got it. So this is for, right, there are butt plugs like that. Or there's the chilled dough. Do you know what the chilled dough is? What's a chilled dough There are butt plugs like that. That, that, that, that, the children, do you know what a child is?

What's a child though? There's no way that's what, it's called, it's just one of my fiancee calls it, but it's that, uh, a child though that you stick on your chin. This is like a really hard workout for your child though. Lick and pussy with the child though is, is probably one of the naleous jaw workouts

I've ever had in my life, but. Wait, you're looking at pussy and then you're putting the other dildo in her butt. No, no, you're just. I was inside of her. So you're licking outside and using it. You lick the clear wall of children going in and pushing. That's a fan's move, that's a good one.

But it's a jaw workout. Dude, I know, but how are you even like, I'm trying to think the positioning of that. You hold a lick to apply that, then the childo comes in and you like. You're talking about you, I don't know the childo. I wonder if it's made of body- children comes in and you're like, you're talking about you. I don't know the children. I wonder if it's made of body-safe silicone and if it's something I would talk about.

We should find that. Find the children, James. Okay, so I was going to say, first of all, do you know well, this experience I have when I have orgasms, if I'm using like a G spot toy, it pops. It does come out because you push your kegdle massively and it comes out. So I was going to say a great one to wear, because then his penis was inside and then the toy came out. She was saying, the sink is a great one by Wevi,

which is the couple's toy. And you wear, it's a shape like a sea. And you wear it so she can wear it vibrates. And it touches her juice by anoclyteris at the same time. And then his penis goes in, but the sink is amazing. The Wevibe sink, because you can use remote control, you can use the remote control, you can use your phone, and control it, but it's vibrating the whole time,

and it's clenched in so it can't move around. And his penis doesn't offer more spinners. I should penis get in there with that. Cause it's the same time. Because it's not, it's like the size of my thumb, but it's got a powerful vibrate. You don't, the G-spot doesn't need anything huge against it. I mean, you would love it. But has it stay in there? Cause it's like made of this, so it's got a powerful vibrate you don't the G spot doesn't need anything huge against it I mean you have a stain there because it's it's like made of this silly. It's bendy. It's made of like

silicone and you know like material that move it adjusts to fit any size and he says woman to use like it clamps into place But it's plastic and bendy. We have one that we'll get one closet. You can play with it. It's really fun So I recommend the sink. I also think that, okay, so when I first read this bet, I was thinking that maybe he was going down in you and the G-Spot toy popped out. So I was gonna say, my favorite G-Spot toy, I love is the Rave, also by Wevibe, from Milk and Troll, toy, same thing

that you can control with your phone, whatever, but he could be holding that in place. So even if you're pushing it out, he's like shoving back in and it it's just hit your G spot like that. And love when that happens. I want to do an app called the G spot locator app so you can just find your G spot. First, a lot of people, it's hard.

This toy does it. Okay, the other one, you'd love this one. It's the FT London has a brand. Yeah, I had to check before I talked about this to you guys if it was out and it just came out this week. There's the G pop and the G pop, I gotta show you this as well, it stimulates the male prostate,

but the prostate, the peace spot, well of course, men, only men have a prostate. Peace spot. The peace spot, and the G-spot on the woman because it's the way it's ergonomically shaped and women's anally as well. So it's like, looks like a, you can put it on your finger and it sticks out

and it's got all these vibration patterns, it's super cool. How cool is the peace spot? Okay, what's this for? Okay, that's for men for your prostate. Oh, okay. And for women. So this is the thing.

G-pop. Is this ain't going in. No dick goes in a vagina with this in the vagina at the same time. No, oh, that's the wee vibe. Let's show them the unites or the sink in the closet. So I think- Wait, does this vibrate? Yes.

Yes. Do you want? Yeah. Dude, you. Do you, what gets you on? Yeah. Dude, you're gonna leave with some cool- Special prizes. Hell yeah. Yeah, no, that's brand new. So then they have one that's a butt plug

that's on my desk over there. Just sitting there on my thing, my mirror thing. I think it was the butt plug, maybe I put it on my drawer. So they have another one that's a butt plug that's controlled by a ring. So it's the FT London has a, what's it called, it's the G plug and their G ring. So the G ring is like your finger turns into a vibrator.

You wear it like a ring and it controls this butt plug here, which isn't, anyway, FT London check it out website. Those are great. Oral positions for, oh, that's the weave I'm telling you. Right, do? I don't, what? Okay, this goes in. You're looking at the Wevi. Yeah, I just this is the bit that's in the pussy, right? And this sits on top.

Uh-huh. And your dick goes in there as well. Yeah. Well, you're dick count, but I'm not I'm not. Yeah, I mean, it's big, but it's not like a. So that would fit, right? No way. I would kill my chick. No, this is like no That is so thin no look at that. I'm messing around. I'm absolutely positive. I thought I wish you was here I'd be like babe. Can I put that in? That's like not even that's like Okay, can I have this because I'm gonna try but I should guarantee you yeah Yeah, I promise you and that part of that that part will go against your

Beautiful great to you the great. That on her and then I can bang her and I can have this in my butt Yes, yes, and I gotta go want no shit, right? You can control it on your phone. I got stuff to do. I know Wait, what's that? Wait tell me to put my finger in there? Okay, that's a Jeep and then there's the G there's the g- Okay, I got you accepted. I'm not banging myself with it. I said that around there. Do you have a g-bub to show you after that? This is a butt plug that you could wear during sex, and then remote controlled by their

other vibrator that's a finger vibe. Just have a good time here. You're going to need some fun stuff. So oral positions, she got some fun, like, risqué oral positions. I don't know. I'm thinking and sit on his face. If you haven't done that. Yeah, it's pretty stock.

We okay. Do you know for everybody? Not everybody just sits on the face. Really? Yeah. No, I know. You're looking at the head. I love it. Especially everybody has a bed.

So it's like they can like hold onto the bed man thing. And then you can grab the boobs above you while you're while you're getting sat on. Exactly. Grab the boobs, you're getting sat on. Doggy style. Okay, these are all going to be tame too, but think of my audience and it's not Jason Ellis.

Okay. So they're get, no, it's, and I would actually like to hear your, that vibrates too. Is it vibrating? Yeah. What's, I think it's called the couch or something where you can, it depends on your penis, but if you kind of try to get hot, be, try to angle your penis out of the back of your legs like a tail before it gets really hot because otherwise it won't go back that way. And then you get blown from behind.

So it's like out of the back of your like a tail. But wouldn't that hurt if it's bending the other way? Yeah, but not if you, but you can, if you don't, it till you get hurt anyway. Yeah, but if you get it hot, pointing backwards, it you don't, it's till you get hard. Yeah, but if you get it hard pointing backwards, it kind of stay, it can stay there. It stays. Okay. Yeah. That could be it. That could be something.

And then also you, you, you could get oral just doggy style like that. I think people just don't think like this. Like when you're on your, you could just come at you from behind. That's awesome. Yeah. And then get in your music, giving a blow job. And where's the most, where's the most unique place

at the most creative position you've ever gotten to blow job in? If you can remember, just go through your blow job index, brain, yeah. Yeah. The most creative place I've ever had in a bridge. I don't know, or like position or way or memory. I mean, I can, for me, getting on my knees and having my legs spread is like the, if I can't come, that's like a guaranteed, that's my last result where I can split myself, which is funny

because I'll have my feet behind me. Oftentimes it'll take so long and I'll have my feet behind me where I cut circulation off in my toes or whoop but so if I get on the couch, I can put my feet in the back of the cushions behind the couch so I don't wreck my ankles because I broke my ankles so many times.

And then I can arch back of the cushions behind the couch so I don't wreck my ankles because I've broke my ankles so many times and then I can arch back on the couch and like push my dick out super far to the point where I'm looking backwards on the couch getting and they could be on their knees on the grand in front of the couch and that's how I get the blood job. Wow. Yeah. That's like okay. You can come sometimes in your eyes, my ears are ringing. That's when I know I've had a really good one. When you're starting. Yeah. God.

That's my death for like five minutes. That's a good kind of thing. You know what's gonna come back. Hopefully. It will. It does. It really feels to go that way. If you've to lose your hearing

or any kind of other thing, it's a great but not. I've heard it's peaceful. A lot of deaf people don't want to hear him back. Exactly. My stepdad, I think he's like losing his hearing. He's like, I don't want to hear these women talk. Everyone around me, women just chatting. I don't want to hear him back. Exactly, my stepdad. I mean, I think he's like losing his hearing. He's like, I don't want to hear these women talk. Everyone around me, women just chatting.

I don't want to hear him. I can see that when I'm older. Yeah, you're like, I'm done. Not that I was to hear. Yeah, you guys are boring. Okay, wait, do we answer all your questions here? Beth, I think those are some good toys for you, positioning you're good.

69's a good one. Don't forget about that. Sitting on the face, doggy style. There we go. Okay, Emily, thanks for making a space where sex can be talked about in a way which is healthy, safe, and fun. I've been musing over whether or not

an open relationship is a good or bad decision. My wife and I have been married for about a decade. Our sex life has definitely started to flatline. My brain, on the other hand, is wired for new experiences. Not necessarily with other people, but new experiments in the bedroom that light my brain on fire. Plus, my sex drive seems to be quadruple hers. I think we've had healthy conversations about this, but she's hesitant to try new things.

At one point, she suggests an open relationship, but she retracted. Our situation is causing some tension, and open relationship might release that for both of us, but I also don't want to treat the symptom and not the deeper problem, which might be a lack of sexual connection with my wife. Two questions. Are there ways to help make an open relationship healthy and more comfortable for her? And are there things we could do better to connect?

Sexually things, Denzel 29 Minneapolis. Yeah, he can't push this one. You can't push an open relationship on your partner. She's not on board, it's like a threesome. Or anal. Or anal, thank you, thank you Jason. You actually can't push any of these things on your partner. You're not gonna talk her into it, you'll regret it. Thank you. Thank you, Jason. You actually can't push any of these things on your partner.

You're not going to talk her into it. You'll regret it. She won't really be on board. So I'm going to answer your, because it's going to go wrong. Have you ever been in situations, Jason, in your past relationships, where you tried to force open relationships they didn't want it or singing it didn't work, right? I've done everything in correctly. That's how I know how to do it.

That's why you're the pit of me of health right now. You can't make an over-relationship healthy and comfortable for her unless she how to do it. That's why you're the pit of me of health right now. You can't make an over-relationship healthy and comfortable for her unless she wants to do it. So you're not gonna give in, sir. She's hesitant, she's gone back and forth. You love your wife, you wanna stay together. So I can answer your question, what can we do to better connect sexually

because that's where the problem is. Going out and having a threesome, open relationship, that's not gonna heal your relationship, that's not gonna feel better. You're gonna go have sex with people and I'm telling you, it will not, and your wife probably won't, because she's not feeling like she's having sex right now. It's not going to work.

But to connect sexually, you've got to just start the first, you've got to start talking about it with her, like, really, like, communicating with her about what, you know, what, because really it's about enhancing intimacy. So if you guys have never talked about sex, and there are so many couples who just don't don't know how to talk about sex, it's not comfortable for them. We never learn the language, how to talk about. We think it's like this. It should be amazing. And when it's not, we don't know what to say. And then we cheat. We won't have a three-zone whatever. But you have to say, like, babe, I love you. I love our relationship. Let's put that open relationship. Like, oh,

take that off the table. And let's talk about us and like what what you know She might not even know what turns on you can go to a sex toy store You can watch porn together you can just talk about some hot sexual moments you've had together Because I don't know what level your wife is at girlfriend wife your wife I don't know where you guys are at so you got to just yeah I mean, and then you could start like you could even take sex off the table. If you guys are like, I'm not being a good idea to do that actually. Right? And then start exploring each other again. She's just going to think that's all you care about,

that it's all about sex. You have to talk about everything else about that. You have to be a friend again. Right? Well, a lot of girls say that they're not into sex or they're into certain things when it comes to the inner bedroom because they don't know about it, and they'd rather just deny that they were even interested

in it in the first place I find. But if you get on their good side and then it's sort of like you're doing it together as a team and they're like, well, maybe I would like to initiate some stuff because now you're not going to be ridiculed for attempting to discuss something that in the bedroom, you're usually, you'd be like, whoa, I didn't know you'd be into that kind of stuff. I think girls get weird about that. They don't want to be the first person to bring it up. They don't want you to think that you're freaky

in the bedroom, because freaky in the bedroom has been related to your slot. They don't want to sound slutty. It's so bad for women, because it's like, we can't win, because then we're like, if we're super slutty, then people call us slutty, which is so wrong. I mean, and then if you're not having any sex at all

and you're just, there's no end to this. There's no right end for women except just to do you and grow up and make sure that. I feel like being super romantic and all that stuff, I know that stuff that was awesome, is the only way. Like if you're super understanding romantic and you do things that you would never see coming

that doesn't involve your dick, then other things like that, maybe later on, they come later, or maybe they don't, but I guarantee your relationship will be better. I mean, there's something going on after 10 years together. It's only 28, too, like come on. Oh, yeah, it's 29. So yeah, there's some things that are harboring your problem,

like she's upset about some things, she doesn't realize it, who knows what's been happening, so you guys gotta unearth whatever is holding her back from this intimacy and then when I say take sex off the table what I meant was also I like the idea of the romantic gestures but like say like let's just start with the foreplay again let's start making out let's start doing an exploring to this body's a rod and zones again and build up to like how great it was at the beginning you can bring that back. Girls really to give up. You have to give up. You have to give up. You have to give up. Girls really love when you don't just go for the pussy.

Yes. They love, I can't believe how long it took me for me to figure this one out, but you can do stuff to them where you kiss them and kiss their neck and like tickle their legs and their feet and stuff and don't touch their pussy. Don't touch their tits. Don't touch too close to their asshole. Like you can touch their above it, even that,

you get into close, but you can go every now and then if you go near the belly, which is near the vagina, you back off again. The all those ones go, yeah, I just would never know which makes me feel like a lot of guys don't. It's like, yeah, it's like we're making out. Okay, the making out is getting pretty serious. So I should probably stop grabbing your pussy.

Exactly, do it. I've been talking about this for 12 years. I'm like, don't hours getting pretty serious. So I should probably start grabbing your pussy. Exactly. Do it. I have a time for this for 12 years. I'm like, don't go straight for it. So how did you learn this just from? I learned this. So pretty. I learned from a lesbian friend of mine that was super into my girlfriend and would do this stuff. And it was the first time she told me about it, I was insulted. I didn't like that she was telling me what I should do with my fiance, with my girlfriend would do this stuff. And it was the first time she told me about it, I was insulted. I

didn't like that she was telling me what I should do with my fiance, with my girlfriend at the time, that would make me better in the bedroom. I'm like, I know how to fuck my girlfriend. This is the reason why you don't know me. I didn't talk about it. But then I started applying it and turns out she was spot on because girls know girls. It's like guys know how to suck at things. Exactly. Right. No, we know we want the teasing. And I think that guys, when I say this to them, they, I've said this for a million times, like we, the last thing we want is when we're making out

for you to go right for it. This still happens with men that I've been with all ages. And I love that you finally learn this. And so it's more like the teasing thing. You realize that we're talking about a rousal. That will build. And in fact, you'll have to less work in the end. Because she's so freaking turned on.

You want her like being like I need you to touch touch my touch me right now That's a yeah, that you learn this doesn't mean I still haven't gone back to my old school methods of grabbing the pussy Of course, and I'm not saying you should never get some something to hurry. Yeah. Yeah, nothing's off the quickie Nothing wrong with grabbing it, but this this build up that's time that's for that's how I win I Control you're winning pussy but not grabbing the pussy exactly I sound like pussy if pussy you could you could say it all you want and that's it. Don't grab it to get it That's right. This is a whole new thing. I mean, I feel like I'm talking about it

But it's almost like I probably need to explain it in a different way and having you on and you've the success the caveman way Okay, we get time for another email here, Jason. And then I'm going to let you go, hey, Emily, I love the podcast. I'm not always in the mood for sex, and I've recently discovered a few things that turn me on. My wife and I listened to your podcast

in bed before starting the act. I read sexy forums online, and I definitely feel like my sex life increased after a strip club visit. Because the strip club visit turned me on, I've tried to convince my wife that we should go to a strip club visit. Because the strip club visit turned me on, I've tried to convince my wife that we should go to a strip club together. However, she is fearful out of both jealousy and her own negative body image. So two questions to work on increasing my sex drive. Any idea how I can help my wife feel comfortable with my exploration, about strip clubs and stuff. And any further tips I can increase my own tax drive thanks Mike 33 Southfield Michigan, which is where I'm from. What up Mike and

Southfield Michigan? Okay, so she's not cool with the strip club thing. Have you ever like had you're trying to convince to go to the strip club. Here's the thing you're not going to this is like the three so you're not going to convince her to go to you're not going to convince her to go to strip club. You're not gonna be able to make her feel comfortable with that. This all starts with work that you have to do with her together at home, making her feel safe. She's got jealousy and she's got body images.

She's the last thing you want to do. Take it or gotta have a strip club. God damn it. I mean, she doesn't want to go because she has an insecurity with her body and she thinks that people at strip club have a better body than her. That's why she doesn't want to go. And she sure as hell doesn't want to go with him.

Right. And I don't blame her if that's her issue. You can't help her get through that. I mean, you can help her get through that, but no matter how many times you're like, she's hot and she's sexy and you want her, like for women's and inside job, and for men, to get yourself a steam. So I talk about that a lot in the show.

Like, I don't know where, you know, it comes from so many different places, but if it's really, you know, she really can't, you know, she doesn't want to explore sexually and she doesn't want to have sex because this negative body image is bringing her down, she might need some work, some therapy, figure out, what makes her feel, you know, figure out- Which means going to a ship club is not going to be helping her at all. Exactly. And then how do you create your own sex drive, dude?

I feel like you said you're eating healthier at the beginning. You've been, at the beginning, you said he's been doing some diet change exercise. I didn't get into this part, but I feel like you're already doing that in your 33. So I feel like your sex drive is on its way. And if most people have a low sex drive because of anxiety, if you're taking some kind of medications, age, but you're 33, so I'm not going to tell you to take testosterone. And I don't even know. I mean, it's true.

Don't you think when you're healthier and you start eating and less stress in your life? So there's really nothing that I can tell you to do other than what you're already doing and not to be obsessing about your sex life because I really think it's fun. Sleep is really important too. Sleep. As a guy that trains all the time, I would, in a minute, if I'm sore, go on to the gym and take in a bunch of protein versus getting a good night's sleep, which one do I pick? I pick sleep every time.

It's true. So do my trainers, everybody. If you burn out, I get told to go home and go to sleep. Like I don't give a shit, man, don't come to the gym. Don't come for two days, get eight, eight and a half, nine, scientifically proven. That's what I am. Some of the real fighters get nine and a half hours sleep.

I'm like, nine and a half, do you know how much work I do, dude? He's like, look, I'm just telling you, if that's what you want, that's what you need to get, figure out a way to get it every now and then, and you will benefit from it. And you've been doing that? When I, you know what, there was times there

where I was going to bed early and trying to get, I could do nine, nine was as long as I could go. Yeah. Just because it happened before I wanted to get up. But, you know, trans-adrenal meditation is like a nap as well, so I do both. I do that too. Twice a day, do you do it?

I do twice a day when I'm doing it, otherwise. It's hard to stick with it. But I finally am after 20 years. Okay, so yeah, I mean, here's the thing, like I feel like you don't wanna get, don't go to strip club and with her and just your sense of life is with her. Don't go at all.

Yeah, just don't. Like I think that- She's gonna know. Oh, here's the other thing. Yeah, just don't. Like I think that she's gonna know. Oh, here's the other thing. Yeah, you guys, I think you guys, if you're into that, if you're into the role play, I mean, if you're into strip clubs, bring some of that home, like watch some porn with her, like do some role playing, do some stripping,

like have her get her to feel sexy, go shopping for things that make her feel sexy, play with your, play with each other, don't go outside the relationship. Lots of what I gotta say. Thank you, Michael. Mike, hi. relationship. Lots of what I gotta say. Thank you Michael, Mike. Hi. Hey.

Thanks Jason. You're welcome. Thanks for having me. You're awesome. I like you. It's really fun. I like you too. And Jason Ellis, we can find you at the best place

is your website. I official Jason Ellis dot com or Wolfmate on Instagram. Instagram. Ellis mate on Twitter andA. 41 on Snapchat. I answer everybody unless of course it's like, hey man, you're awesome. It's kind of difficult when that happens. I'm like, what do you want me to say?

Yeah, that's a little league of tips to go, but if you ever need help, if you any ask for anything sobriety or any of that stuff or any questions about the show or health fitness, anything that if I feel like that you're actually need advice, I'm there, man. My fiance constantly reminds me that she's like,

I do not know how you do that. She tells other people. He will sit there for literally hours answering everybody that listens to me show. Because I know how I got here. And I love serious exam, but they don't pay me because they find it in their hearts to give me the money. They do it because everybody listens to the show.

So I owe them. That's awesome. That's really cool. So you're saying everybody listens to the show, so I owe them. That's awesome, Dave. That's really cool. So you're saying if they email you questions or if they snap them or... Email, I don't have email. I mean, I have email, but I'm answering people. I just, I'm a social media maniac. So the Snapchat I answer, everybody, my Instagram, if you DM me on Instagram, I answer it,

same with Twitter, I just answer everybody. That's great. I've been doing that, I've been doing that at Snapchat and I'm sorry to do that on Instagram, not as much. I gotta do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it.

I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't do it., but I sent them. Yeah, you what? I sent my boobs back. Yeah, I like to get. She probably won't be that pumped,

but you know what I do, you do what you gotta do. You do what you gotta do. You're doing the good work. I try. You're awesome. Thank you. And thanks everyone for listening. I answer your emails, I do.

Cause it's part of our show. And your snaps and your everything. Everyone follow me all these across the board. We're gonna do a little video here. Oh cool. There's a lot of fun. And thank you everyone. Thanks for my amazing team. And thanks everyone for listening. On the podcast, tell everyone. Thanks to my amazing team and thanks everyone for listening.

On the podcast, tell everyone and check out my podcast. That's a big deal. Of course. You guys are all podcast listeners. If you haven't checked out this podcast, you just got to do that right now. Yeah, I was Seanic, so we much appreciate you. Seanic. Every Friday is a good one.

Subscribe. It's awesome. I had a blast on there. Okay, everyone. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexfamily.com.