Sex With Emily - Oral Sex, Return of the Ex & Relationship Red Flags

Episode Date: March 2, 2016

As we get older and wiser, our dating situations are bound to evolve along with us. From discovering new sexual horizons to being honest with yourself and strong in your goals, this show is all about pointing you in the direction of pleasure and satisfaction. First on the docket: how to orally please a woman. Going down on a woman can often be a baffling labyrinth of lady-parts, and some guys need help to get it right. Luckily, Emily is here to impart the 3 most important cunnilingus components and explains how to employ them in an expert fashion. She also provides advice on how to decipher a guy’s post-breakup behavior and helps a listener figure out why his girlfriend gave up sex for lent (and more importantly, what to do about it). Whether you’re looking for oral sex tips, communication pointers or an explanation for why your guy can’t keep his hand out of his pants, Emily’s got the guidance you’re looking for! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. In today's show, I'll teach you how to make the most of your mouth, lips and tongue wherever you're using them. I'll also be answering emails about mastering oral sex on a woman. Should you get back to other with an ex and should you give up sex for lint? All this and more, thanks for listening. But first, the genius design team at Wevibe has done it again. The brand new Nova by Wevibe is quite simply a dual stimulation superstar.

And that it expertly pleasures your clitoris and gspot at the same time without missing a beat. And you're probably thinking, yeah, that sounds like a rabbit vibe. You've talked about those, but it's not. Because unlike traditional rabbits that tend to lose contact when you slide the shaft outward, like outside of you and it leaves your clitoris, the Nova's external stimulator is long and curved and it like has this flexible appeal where it applies external pressure to your clitoris while you do the G-spot. See, so a lot of them say they do really stimulate you, but this one actually does at the same time without losing stimulation ever.

Does that make sense? Check it out. And if you don't totally, if you want to know more, you're not convinced that this one rocks our world. We just did a podcast, we reviewed them, looking for the G-Spot, something, or it's called to find that. Also, has lots of controls.

You can cycle through multiple vibration modes, which are really cool. And you can use the app to control it. Your partner can use it. Check out the Nova Web Web only if you want to have a good time. So go to sexwithemily.com and click on the Wevibe banner. Use promo code Emily at checkout for a special discount. [♪ music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on day Hey, Abelene, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, Malawi? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so gone

Being bad feels pretty good But you know, Abelene's not the kind of girl you just play with Kidding me. Oh my God, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, It's a good place to be sex family. You could also subscribe. We have two podcasts a week on iTunes Do that never miss them again right Anderson. How you doing two a week? It's a lot man. 12 12 podcasts. How you doing? I'm doing good. How are you? I'm good. I just felt bad because I was a little bit late Yeah, I thought that you were upset you do that thing I got sisters and I got a mom So I know how you guys can be something like you come in come in you think they're like I got them all upset and that before I don't even I'm like hey I'm how are you and then I grow out of

way like your mad aren't you I'm not I'm not I'm trying to do too much yeah everything is good. We're good for chill. Are you looking at apartments for you moving? I'm moving apartments and offices. That's that's too much at the same time. And I'm getting a dog. I found a dog that looks just like Stanley. Are you moving because you're falling? It's psycho if I get a dog that looks just like it. If I need him standing. If you start cutting your hair like my wife, and wearing her clothes, that's going to be a

problem. It's true. Did you see someone tweeted this or like I think you're only friends with the Anderson for his dog? Oh, that's hurtful. But it's not true because I knew you, I liked you before your dog. Yeah, but you didn't really like me until you met Stanley. That's true.

Yeah. No. Stanley and I bonded on our own. It's a bonus. Hey, can I use that? Like, next time we're getting a little bit of a tip, I'll be like, hey, do you want us to Stanley again? Be nice. You actually could. You could do a lot for that.

You could totally bribe me or something. I'm gonna do anything because I love that dog. Are you moving so that you can have a dog? No, I'm maybe- Did you find a dog? Is that what is he using? No, really, well, my best friend is a vet and I've been telling her that one dog,

and she sent me a picture of this one that's really cute named Pepe. Yeah. Pepe, that's my wife's dog's name. You're freaking me out right now. No way. Yes. Do you want, I'll show you after the show. You can't have a dog that looks like Stanley named Pepe. I can't do it ever. Why?

I could change his name though. He's a rescue. He's like six years old, and yeah, because she works at shelter. And she's always matched with my friends and dogs. She's keeping her eye out. She's like the dog watch the whisperer. She can always like match people with her dogs. We should talk off there, too, because Drew, I don't know if he told you about the dog

that he's watching right now. Yeah. He says it's like a carbon copy of Stanley. But I think he has to keep, like, maybe, out of that. When you get your dog, is it gonna be a lot to be in the room when you have sex? It's a lot of change.

Oh, funny, you should ask that. You get to kick the dog out for sex. That is such a good idea. That's, I had a dog for a while and I, I would try to, but it was sometimes just hard because it was like a jack Russell and she was always jumping in the bed and I didn't really care. Right.

And it's hard to do. I like the dog in the bed. I mean, sex, it'd be nice if they're out with them and they're barking. Can't we just be in the moment together and not think about the dog? What do you together? I'm not thinking about the dog. What do you think? It's tough, because especially the dog.

You're like 18 dogs, so what do you do? I breathe, it's a lot less than 18. It's 15 lessons. But you have them in the bedroom. I lock them out when it's time. But okay, aren't you getting hot and heavy? Let's say. Yeah, a lot of the dogs are, yeah.

Wait, let me get the dogs. It's a little bit more than scratching. And I scan for a bout that height under the things. It's way worse than putting in a condom. Yeah, you're way tougher, you're right about that. Yeah, getting the dogs out,'s a white and it's Russian. It's way worse than putting in a condom. You're all like that. You're way tougher, you're right about that. Yeah, getting the dogs out, but we'll see what kind of dog. Maybe I'll get like a chill dog that will have a little bed.

I'm not a invention. Another invention here. A condom with a treat inside. You open the condom, it's got the treat. You throw the treat out, the door, the dog goes out of the bedroom door and you slap on the condom, bang, bang. That is the, that is a great idea

My tastes a little like latex, but hey dogs don't care I don't believe the beef trumps a latex will be fine. It's funny. You should bring up sex because I did it on purpose For the sake of the show Well, I have a really good sex story. I'm really good at taking the show away from sex, which I don't want to do I don't want to do that. Yeah, I know, but then you brought me back and I'm like, you're not interested in the fact that I want to dog people? No. So I'm looking for, no, this is, listen. Okay. All yours. I'm, I'm gonna get to freaking sex in the news.

Okay. So I'm looking for an apartment because my place is too small and it's, I just, whatever, it's, it's, it's, it's not working for me anymore. Things are breaking down. I want a different neighborhood, the whole thing. So my friend, It's like with your landlord, huh?

No. My friend, Anna, lives in an amazing place. That I love. So things never come up in this building, but if they ever do, there's like a yard and there's like, there's the apartments don't touch each other. They're like little houses that don't share walls. They don't touch each other.

Oh, they're a little bungalows. The bungalows, the word you're looking for. Thank you. You live in one. There's not a shared wall, but it's a building. There there's eight of them you live in a bungalow right now I do live in a bungalow But like they kind of show. Okay, so here's the thing so I've gone to barbecues there She's people over her places amazing super reasonable love the part of town

She calls me Emily the place next to me is available. Oh, no Who I and she's one of my closest friends. I know that's a problem and I was like well And I didn't know the wall thing she's well kind of shares a wall Well, it doesn't really friends. I know, that's a problem. And I was like, well, and I didn't know the wall thing, she was like, kind to share as well. Well, it doesn't really show. I'm like, does it? I said, you ever heard the guy next to you? She goes, well, sometimes I'm like, what if you're, she goes, well, maybe if I'm having sex

and you're in the kitchen, you can hear. I'm like, wait a minute, I'm thinking of this. I'm like, well, I don't want to hear you have sex. Like if I'm in the kitchen, like, what if I'm having you dinner party and you're, she's like, that'd be kind of funny though. Like, you just would tell me to be like no like I think that's uncomfortable and then I'm like well I could come look at it and you could go have

sex or fake sex and I could stand in the kitchen and you can make noises and then we could test it out tomorrow because I'm super sensitive to noise is the one thing but she was like they'd be awesome but then it's like living next to a friend was that we did that happen yet or was that today that's happening That's happening. That's happening. So tomorrow, she's gonna do the fake sex thing. She's gonna fake sex to see if I should move in and I'm gonna put some amazing face. That is hilarious.

Yeah. Now, you gotta be prepared to say goodbye to Anna as a friend because it's like working. I know this is the thing. And she said, well, are you loud as a neighbor? I said, well, when I don't happen, but in San Francisco, the walls were really thin and I had all lesbians in my building.

Next to me, a lot of lesbians. A lot of lesbians in Cisarene sounds. Yeah, exactly. But they thought I was loud because I was on the phone. She said, well, what if I texted you to stop, you know, be like, I don't want to get an angry testament. Wait a minute. You know what? It just something just occurred to me. Does she have a show called Sex with Anna?

No. So shouldn't she be concerned about hearing you have sex in your kitchen? Exactly. You should have been worried about that. It's going to like rock the whole building. Like it's an earthquake. Shouldn't she be concerned about me as a neighbor?

Can I tell you though that everyone should should heed this advice. It took me too many years to figure it out, but everyone should have sleep machines and everyone should put on the white noise when they go to sleep. I do that every night. Yeah, okay. Good. It's a noise isn't an issue with you anymore because you can't slow it out with the white noise.

Right. I actually, yes, I've been using it for 20 years. 20. Now I use an app. Yep. Okay. So here's one thing I have to say March 10th at the Hollywood improv. Yeah, then we're gonna get out of the show. You're gonna be there I might be there. Yes, yes, the show So Brian howie of the great love debate he was on my podcast a few weeks ago you And everyone loved it was a really great show and it we talked about dating and he's got this thing called the great love

Debate he goes around the country and he's been doing it for a year. Do you know who he is? Yes. It's been really popular. Like, he's done like 160 times people come to baton. To baton people. Man, women, do we love, you know, it's like, why are we still single? So we're doing a live podcast there and it's sort of a combination of both of our shows. Oh, you know what he should do? The Republican love debate and the Democratic love debate and break it up. That's a good idea. Tonight, that night. Not that night, but like moving forward. No, but yeah. You should do that.

Just having all Republican night. I'm sorry, I did that thing that you hate where I threw you off a little bit. I'm sorry. I was going to a story. That boy's gonna tell you is that we're gonna have the girls talk about sex and the men are gonna be the ones to talk about love and dating.

Because you're the first. So, in the audience. The audience, there's men and women. And a lot of people like hook up with these events, apparently, it's a good placed to eight single people and debate there's going to be a panel. But he thought the women should be the ones who are like talking about what they want, like, sex and it'll be fun.

And it'll be a great place to break up with somebody. Okay, if they don't, if you want to get out of a relationship, bring them to this thing and say, hey, honey, we're now, uh, separated as soon as they'll show you. Oh, because once they get there, yeah, oh, they could be angry, people get angry, they get fights and stuff. Do couples show up or is it almost like stuff do couples show up or that almost I think it's mostly single people So that'd be a good way to let someone know that you don't be with them anymore He said the women in LA are sad from he's like all these theories like women in LA are sad They're single and the women in New York are angry about the men. Is he happily married? No, he's single too

Interesting, so I think people, you know, I think it's gonna be interesting. I know it is March 10th live at the improv and You get tickets at like Hollywood improv so Thursday so Thursday night show and it'll be very fun 7 30 to 9 o'clock got an uncomfortable question. I want you to be honest with me Go this Thursday night show March 10th improv. Did you invite menace? I didn't are you sure? I'm sure. If I find out, I'm going to be very, very hurt. Yeah, why do you love menace? But if you're inviting him to do the shows with you, not me, it's very hurt. No, you're not going to be doing the show with me. Sorry, but you're going to be there recording your show. I'm going to be doing my own show in another room. In the other room. We're in the big room. But I just wanted to make sure that you weren't.

You let know I only wanted you. That'd be very hurtful. But he minus wouldn't come anyway. But you're going to be there. So here's the thing, sex in the news. Let's go to that. Do it. Extroverts have twice as much sex as introverted people. I believe that. I know. I mean, this is kind of like one of those like the moments.

So if you have an outgoing, ram, bunxious personality, a new study just discovered that those described as having extroverted personalities are having way more sex than those of interverts and not even close, which makes sense because you got to talk to someone to get laid, to connect extroverted men or poor to having sex 5.5 times a month on average compared to three times for interverted men. Wait, wait, wait. 5.5. Okay. Women, extrovert a woman, had more sex, 7.5 times a month.

I don't know what happens to that half time. Uh, an introvert's 3.1 times a month. I said oral, but they're 5 times a month. I don't get it, you know. So the truth is that extroverts need stimulation, meaning they're often more prone to talking about their sex lives and staying close Big eye contact have that gaze which it totally makes sense I mean if you're outgoing

That's like half the battle your guy that doesn't know our woman who can't talk and no personality I mean that's you're really hot is what I hear from guys that that goes a long way But for women I think the guys I was reading this thinking God I always hear from men. I'm so worried that I'm too short, I don't make enough money, I don't have a great job. Women, sure, yes, just like anything, there could be women measuring you, literally, on that. But if you're the guy that's talking and you're interesting

and again, it's a muscle that you flex, you can get better at it, that you're gonna have better luck with women and vice versa. Right. You know, I tried the dark brooding guy for about two years of my life, and it didn't work out. And I held onto it.

I really wanted to be like that dark mysterious brooding guy because I was an awkward kid. And I was kind of shy and awkward, right? Did it work a little? Couple girls here and there, but it was always really random and awkward and afterwards you've even more awkward because neither one of us knew each other, you know what I mean?

So would you just be like, you get drunk and how come with them? I try and be like, drunk and mysterious and like not talking to anyone in the corner. And I think most of the time I probably just be like you get drunk and hug up with them? I try and be like drunk and mysterious and like not talking anyone in the corner And I think most of the time I probably just look creepy. Yeah, exactly It's funny that you the stages you go through. Yeah, so I don't even think they're saying like it's okay. I'm actually actually Interverted no shut up I spent a lot of time alone super isolated

Which is another weird thing I of living next to my friend, because when I'm home, I don't want anyone stopping by. I don't want anyone to come. No one likes the pop. No, but I need to. So. You get very focused, but you're in it.

It's exceptionally extroverted person. I love meeting. I actually enjoy meeting people. They're actually like, like I just want to hear their stories, I'm interested. So yeah, so just start talking. Meeting for conversation. This is like obvious, but I just wanted to make that point. This doesn't vote well for the new generations. All introverted. I know. They're social media.

Have to talk. You should see the look of horror. Everyone in my office is under 30 when I'm like, just call them. They're like, what? Call. Do the second worst thing to call is. I'm trying to get them to someone in the office, somebody to mail stuff at the post office. You're like close to what? They don't know how to go to the put, they're like, what do you mean? Like what I get there? Do I put the envelopes?

Oh my God, I just heard this. A very similar story. And then one of them was addressing an envelope and they're like, which way does the return? I'm like, what? That's like a bad 80s joke, but it's true. I feel like a talking about it now, like that makes me, but fucking post office is still around.

I go to the post office, I got a PO box over there and you know, listen or send stuff over to us. So I got to check it out like once, twice a week, I send my shirts off, my cold cockles shirts through the post office. And now that I think about it, I am always the youngest person in there. Yes.

Oh no, so we should stop going. We should stop going. We left we want to still young. It's a good place to hang out if you want to feel like the young guy in the room. Oh my god. Anyway, I thought my football. Yeah, you're the oldest person. You know, you should actually do. We should talk about that could be an interesting film. No, that's not really terrible. The young guy at the post. But I even knew the thing about the post offices. I even mail letters now that like don't get there.

Like that's happening in the last year. So I feel like the whole system is breaking down. Yeah, things, yeah, I've lost many things in the mail. And it does break down. And the 80s, no one lost shit in the mail. 90s. No. You put it in the mailbox, that blue box,

it's gonna get there. It's gonna get there. And now, not so sure. I think there's problems, even back then. Okay, so science explains why guys are always sticking their hands down their pants. What? We are?

Yeah, we're not doing that. We're not all doing that. No. You don't sit at home with your three dogs on the bed. Negative. At watching movies with your hands resting, nestling, nestling, and any of us. You go room down there, I keep Stanley in between my legs

in my pants. No, I don't. No, I'm kidding. No, I don't keep Stanley in my pants. I'm not a jangler. No. You never just like rest there. Okay, so many men do. Many do. No, I don't. I'm kidding. No, I won't keep sailing in my pants. I'm not a jangler. No. You never just like rest there. Okay, so many men do.

Many do. They just kind of hang. So here's one reason. It's a safety measure. So it goes back to the cave man days. They need to protect the crown jewels. Afraid like a rocks going to fall in the day. No, shit.

Right. It's like, it's exactly. It's like biology, right? They've been victims of too many unexpected nut shots. No. So the hands are there like an insurance against a friend who might give them a nut job or who are kid who accidentally has a ball, then that's one that makes sense, but there's more.

It also says that it releases oxytocin. So this is what I thought men did it because oxytocin is the cuddle hormone. It's like comforting. So I feel like it says this that they it calms the body. So when you put your hands on your balls, it relaxes you. It's like comforting. So I feel like it says this, that it calms the body. So when you put your hands on your balls, it relaxes you. It's like soothing. Sucthing. Yep.

And then the other one is to keep them warm. Yeah. It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what?

It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? It would make you know what? If I'm laying around on my couch and I'm watching like a movie or TV or something and I have my my hand on my On my stuff. I think that would make me more nervous like somebody who's gonna like walk by and see or come in and like Why is your hand on your dick? You but you you know these men that I'm talking about and your friends like that You like walk around yeah, I do I got a couple like military friends like do that thing like hey

What time is it and I look down on their dick is around their wrist? I'm like dude I don't need to see your dick. Why are you doing that? I guess I had a brother and he would like. He what? I know your brother. What are you doing with this dick? No, I just remember them like, they just sit there watching TV,

their hands are like other pants, or like boyfriends. How are you doing this? I don't know, I feel like. I feel like, dude, I think every is many men do that in fact. You know what? In defense of the men as well, M. But actually this doesn't really work

because you guys would be doing the same thing. But when you're laying on the couch, like the hand is kind of like, it's like right there at waist level. You know what I mean? It's almost like perfect. Like, if you just let your arm just fall by your side, it's going to land right on your day. Right.

I would do it. I wish that women could put their hands on their pants all the time. You can. Why not? You guys got a purse down there so you could like, you know, be fishing around for stuff. I know. I know it's true. I definitely need to do that more. Um, I'm bringing, I'm bringing, I'm going to make that happen. you could like, no, be fishing around for stuff. I know. It's true. I definitely need to do that more.

I'm bringing, I'm bringing, I'm going to make that happen. You ever like to go opportunity done that and like, you're like, yeah, I left a toy up there. I forgot. No, never have that. No, but it's so funny that lately, I'm just, it is like a stressful thing for me that I do have a lot to try that come to me, that I come to me that I, that I, they're like, and people I meet that are really nice at these conferences who are making these amazing products, like have you tried the, you know, fliboried or yet? It's just like movies for me.

It's the exact same thing. People are always like sending me links to movies or you wanna watch this movie, I haven't heard you talk about that movie. It's like, I only have so much time in the day, you know, I can't watch every movie. But wait, it's your job, but, but on the outside, you'd be like,

your job is to watch movies and do a podcast and talk about them. And my job is to review sex, face, and a pleasure. And I have like, oh, here's nothing. I got the short end of this stick. I want a job where I was banging myself. What the, what the fuck am I? What I'm saying is we both have ideal,

but don't get me wrong, I'll get around to the toys. Just that's really like, I walk around going, when am I gonna try this? Okay, that's fine. Maybe you can make double the money if you were to also review porn. So you could be like using the toys, while watching the porn, and then reviewing the porn,

and you could have like, you know, my job and your job. Double. You know, I'm trying to get back into television. It's been a while, so. Well, porn is just, I'm like, your laptop, it's really easy. I want to get back into watching. That's a great idea. You know, there used to be porn reviews.

I think it was in Penthouse or something. Now they're all just so much porn. You can't review it. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yes, of course. I remember a Renault as a kid and who's really funny, instead of like a five-star rating, they had an erection rating.

They'd have like three and a half dicks. I swear to God. Really? Yeah, I'm sure some of your listeners don't know what I'm talking about. That's so funny. This movie gets three and a half dicks. Oh my God, that's funny. I, that makes sense. It'm talking about. That's so funny. This movie gets three and a half dicks. Oh my God, that's funny. I, um, that makes sense.

It's very smart. That's very smart. I, uh, was I gonna say to you? I don't know. It was really important. Was it? Well, we could go into emails, do, uh, should I? Speaking of sex toys, you got anything?

Oh, well, that's exactly what this is going to tell you. Yeah. One of the toys that, so that came that came to me that I took a little bit while to try because I was like have so many they were like, can you please just try this toy? And I was like, yeah, I'll try it because they were like, it's called a womanizer. And the owner said, can they send me one? And I said yes, because I always say yes. But it was the like, it's like nothing you ever seen. You know, it's a different kind of toy and I honestly, I do only talk about toys I like

and toys that I've tried and I was like, and they're all like have similar, this one truly is unlike any other toy. Guys, can I just butt in here for a second? Yeah. She talks about this off air in between shows. The one either. Two people who are just wandering by. I've seen it happen with my own eyes. I've heard her talk about it off air in between shows. The womanizer. Two people who are just wandering by. I've seen it happen with my own eyes. I've heard her talk about it off the show. Yeah.

This is not like her just doing a really. I've never, yeah, exactly. She loves the womanizer. Do you want one? No one in my office is trying to get either. So it's like freaking me out, because we can't talk about it. I don't know if you've charted it out really am,

but your relationship ended right around the same time. The womanizer came to me live. I did it. It did. God. I noticed that. Oh my God. Well, I think it's perfect. but your relationship ended right around the same time, the womanizer came to you alive. Did it? God. I noticed that, yes. Oh my God. Well, I think it's perfect. I think you let one door closes and other one opens.

Yes. So it was designed in Germany, of course, so they do things well there, but here's the deal with it. It looks, it has a silicone cylinder on the face of it and it kind of looks like it's sexy, earthomobitor, and you turn it and you place the silicone cylinder over your clitoris. Kind of like how a partner might use their mouth. And you vary the suction and you move it around and you create this like, it's just like a really

intense experience. So it has this suction. It's like indirect stimulation to your clitoris, which is why it's really different. And it's in stone category, it's got this like air stream technology, category, it's got this like, air stream technology. Literally, it sounds like a jet and it blows around and it's, their focus groups, the women had 60 second orgasms and most of them and multiple and it's true and it's funny

because I go to these conferences that was like, have you tried it? Have you tried it? And my one friend, she's like, I have like five every time. So anyway, it's a great toy, it's a great gift for yourself. Your lover go to sex with L.A.com. Click on the womanizer banner.

It's a shame that pigs have such a bad reputation because they have they have very long orgasms. I think they have like some of the longest orgasms of all mammals. That's something like 30 minute long orgasms. And that'd be like a good like tagline for the womanizer like have pig like orgasms. That would be. Have orgasms like pigs, but that would probably read poorly. People would just think messy pigs. They wouldn't think orgasmic pigs. I wish that was more well known.

But yeah, pigs come a lot for a long period of time. The lady pigs do. I don't ask me how I know it. I feel like that's a trivia that I, you know, a piece of trivia I would have learned and I have not. I wish I did. Okay, so let's talk about going down.

All right, I'm gonna go over here. What are you going? No, I know I did. Okay, so let's talk about going down. All right. I'm going to go over here. We're going. No, I know, I know woman actually. I need your, I might need your, um, Yeah, that's why I want to tap out. Oh, I didn't know if it was the penis thing, but this is about a woman. So, hey, Emily, I need some, oh, here's a thing. If you email me, which I love, please include your name where you live, um, how old you are and how you listen and email me feedback at sexwithmwe.com. And if I didn't mention, you should totally be following me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, at sexwithmwe.com.

Because that's fun. And Anderson, at Anderson Cowan. Yeah, I'm barely ever over there. Yeah, but dude, still, oh yes, I don't follow them because he's never there. Oh, you should check out Cinematic, so that's my movie podcast. Cinematic is the podcast. Yes. Two new movies, two big sexy movies that are coming out of the theater

and you every Friday, every Friday. I love it. And we release it on Wednesday. So you get to hear it before the movies are actually even released to the public. That's so smart. Like I can't believe no one has done a podcast like that. I think there's others out there. Because I feel like people, not like that.

They're not nearly as good. No, but it's smart because people look probably at a Wednesday like we should see a movie this weekend. What's coming out. That I do. And I do. And I do. And you're entertaining and smart to listen we should see a movie this weekend. What's coming out? What are you doing online? Listen to you and you you're entertaining and smart to listen to and know a lot about movies. So it makes sense.

Thank you. Am I doing it with my co-host who's an actual board certified critic and he's actually been a critic for 25 years. And I don't even say Fawkes. I like to fight like this. No. Why? We are you can we have very different. I love to see it's like fiscal neighbor.

But I don't get heated because I love the guy. He's a great guy. Like his dad just died on Tuesday dad just died on Tuesday. We did the show Wednesday anyways. I mean, he's a you know the show must go on show That's amazing cinematic Cinematics that's that's I don't say fucker or shit Because I want people to get trash all over my show. I want people to be a little bit of a listen with their kids I don't think that people should be listening to the show with their children. So I gotta say fuck to make sure I just started swing I think it's your fault. Yeah, it might be you swore before me on this episode again as well.

Rack one up for the M. I wanna say, did you understand that I didn't write for a long time and then something the floodgates opened? Could be me. I never did for 10 years. I never used the cut word ever. And then I started listening to Bill Burr

and Jim Jeffries and now like I say in front of my mom. Oh, no. Yeah, it's terrible. That's bad word. People. Yeah. Oh, you should have seen the face she made. I mean it.

If you look at Popeye, that was great. All right, I'm sorry. Let's go down. And I need some advice. I dated a girl for eight years who didn't care for oral sex during those eight years. Apparently, she was never a fan. We're now not together, but because of that long relationship without giving her oral, I have no idea what I'm doing down there. I started taking a new grout. She's amazing. She's very blunt and open about things. And she

recently shared that she actually likes receiving oral. What can I do to make her experience a good one? She sounds like a sex with Emily. Listener. Hell yeah. Yeah. You know, I don't know. Yeah. Well, you know, it's some women Fates too sensitive before you give your advice. But a lot of women Just don't know how good it could be. You're there insecure about it or the lot of reasons But if you haven't tried it, we're gonna get into it. Go Mike might be okay. He might be in the clear Because every single lady likes it different anyways, right? So it's always like starting over.

Mike, don't get intimidated. That's interesting. You go. What else did you say? You're so good. What else would you say as a man? So you probably have been, now it's going to you. I'm just saying.

You're so great. Every vagina, it's like the like snowflakes. And if you put a hundred women in a room and they all started or masturbating. It's all trial and error. All those women, you'd watch, they would all be doing something different to have that orgasm. Now, I'm not done this, but if I looked at a hundred guys in a room, pretty much hand going up and down.

And you got to keep your eye on the guy that uses his left hand and does it upside down because that guy's weird. That? Okay. Wow, like that. There's some guys that do that I'm sure. and does it upside down because that guy's weird. That, okay. Wow, like that. There's some guys that do that I'm sure. They do the upside down anyway. What I'm saying is we're all different. It's a very mysterious and complex being.

So if you don't know your way around and you never really would down there, I get it and it can be intimidating. So I hope that you, the more pressure you put in yourself the harder harder it will be obviously. I'm sure your new girl, she's not expecting you to be a master because she knows that you haven't done it. If you've told her, they haven't done it. But again, it doesn't matter because everyone is different.

So before we get to technique, here's the three things that are the most important. I will always say this, communication. How does this work again? Yeah, I think it is. The thing is you're not a mind reader, your partner is on a mind reader. So you got to be able to ask her feedback and she has to be able to give it to you. And you said that she's blinded open. She's already saying, Hey, I like oral. So I'm thinking she's a good candidate and she'll communicate with you and what she likes.

It doesn't. So ask her if you're not sure. Also confidence. This is a universal. You want to bring confidence to the bedroom, okay? Even if technically you're not sure because you haven't been down there before, you know what you're doing in other areas. So you're probably great kissing and touching her. I mean, there's other parts. It's not just about the world. It's not like you start making out and you go right down there because that actually is one of the things I would advise you not to do. So go into it like it's just another, you know, you're warming her up, she's getting

turned on. That is very important to have, make sure she's, you know, lubricated. Lubricated. And enthusiasm. You could be amazing at oral sex, but if you look like you're like swallowing like cough syrup or something or you're really annoyed with it, she's not going to be comfortable. She's going to be worried about it because here's the other thing. A lot of women who don't like oral sex is because they have insecurities just like men do. You know, they think that maybe you don't want to do it or there's a weird taste or you know, they're just, they're not feeling so great. So the more comfortable, I'm saying that's not every woman, but some. So the more comfortable, I'm saying that's not every woman, but some. So the more comfortable you are, the more comfortable she'll be, and then you'll be, you'll be, you'll be, she'll relax, and then you'll be able to get into it,

she'll get into it. So right. Yeah. Can watch a little or a lesbian porn. That'll help you probably. Lesbian porn is awesome. Yeah. And, uh, it's almost a seven. I can't remember now.

I can't remember. It's wasn't. That's almost a seven. I can't remember now. I can't remember. It's one of them. Oh, is it? No. Oh, you just pay attention to her. Pay attention to what you're doing. Because her breath starts to quickly, that kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah. How can you, right? She, her breath quickens. Right, it's not that hard. It really is not. Just figure out, trial and error and figure out what she, what she's responding to. Exactly.

So yeah, you want to tease her and then let me tell you this. You're tongue. People like tips, so I'm going to give you a specific one. You want to start slow and gentle and You never want to go directly for it. So you want to lick around you want to like lick on our thighs You can use a soft tongue a flat tongue and no pointy tongues No only when you get really like I wouldn't say starting out I say when you're starting you want to do like flat You want to do whatever. It's like the stick ship. You got to learn exactly

Then you can go crazy with the pointy tongue that when you're starting, you want to do like flat, you want to do whatever. That's like the stick shift. You got to get a learn. Exactly. Then you can go crazy with the pointy tongue. Try lighter versus firm pressure. And again, every woman's different. So pay attention to her number or cues. We said that. And then use your fingers. A lot of women do like being simulated.

You could also stimulate her due spot. So you have to test that out though, because I haven't done a study yet I don't know Andersen you would know Perhaps if it's 50 50 For what oral sex women who like fingers as well. Yeah, probably about 50 You could try though. You could try it. Maybe a little less someone don't someone or like that bothers me But if you like use your fingers again, you're starting very slow. You know, you're putting them in there See how she likes it and if she's open. Yeah, I'm sorry if she's open to and in there, see how she likes it. And if she's open, yeah. I'm sorry, if she's open too,

and she brought this up that she likes it, she'll let you know too. Yeah, so she'll take your hand even. She'll take your hand away or vice versa. And here's a thing, your mouth might get tired. People that understand their fingers are also at the disposal always, actually. So your tongue is great, but you got your hands.

So you can tap your fingers in. Yeah. Give your tongue a break. Yeah, exactly. Licking, sucking, sizing your partner's clippers with your tongue and then just insert one or two fingers right to fungus fingers see what you like Um And you know what I haven't heard this in years used to come up on love line a lot back in the day But it's probably been years as I've heard it and it's great and Tarou would tell young dudes this The vagina is not an inside out penis and a lot of guys go out to vagina thinking that it's just like the dick, but it's inside out. And it's

not. So that's where the lesbian porn I think comes in, because it'll show you how gentle and like, like, like, it's like five times like softer than you think it should be. Exactly. Exactly. Same kind of thing you used to say is more like butterflies. Like they're like, it's true. But men are like, after it. And that's why I it. And that's why I'm telling you, everything is soft and slow. And then once you find the spot, you'll know it. And then you got to stick with the one spot. So I'm telling you to move around and try to everything.

But once you get the spot, you got to stick with it. And then she'll, you know, she'll let you know. You'll know. Unless you have a mask on or something in your plugs, you'll know. But don't let the inexperience get you down because everyone's inexperience with a new girl. Don't sweat it.

It's true. Don't sweat it. They're all different. Okay. Yeah, what are you looking at? I was looking at, I don't know how long I'm going going. Oh, we're good. Okay, good.

Another one? Yeah, it's good another email in there. As long as it's a good one, I mean, don't give me some boring stuff, right? Okay, next email, this is the re-return guy. Hey Emily, I find your podcast during the summer when I started a long commute to work in the city. I've been hooked ever since.

I have a question about this guy I've been seeing. We met after he had a bad break up and we took things slow at first, but things heated up and I started having a lot of feelings for him. Our chemistry is amazing. The sex was great, although he wasn't emotionally ready for a stronger commitment and I felt like I was. So I felt like he was best to let things cool off and we created some distance for a few months. He recently began reaching out again and looking to hang out.

I still have so many feelings for him and can't help but wonder why is he reaching out again. I don't want to get hurt and not sure if I should let him back in or just continue to move on. Do you think this could be his time of emotional readiness or is he just missing a guaranteed hookup? Simeh Madison not the Madison Okay, I think he's reaching out because he got used to having you in his life and as a friend and otherwise

And he probably misses you But I think good for you actually for being able to go a few months Without seeing him Right, so that's hard to break us up. So when and then they always circle back I always say eventually someone's gonna circle back. So, let me just say this, guys, do a tendency, when you know as a guy, when you're with someone, and it ends, but it doesn't really end,

or it's a hook up, you always kind of check in, right? You're like, hey, just to keep them on the, because this is another option. Yeah, as long as you get the option. Or single, for a lot of us, unfortunately. The more random hookups you're having, or the more casual hookups you're having, the more like casual hookups you're having the more of a Man you feel it's a true for how long and then you then you get to arc and depressed most of your 20s

It's really fulfilling Yeah, when you're just hanging out with your friends and you don't have anything you don't want anything serious and you're kind of Focusing on yourself and your career and some people should deal yeah, and and guys with the like if if If a guy's hanging out with his friends and his friends know that he has like five separate girls and you know, I mean, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career.

And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I'm not a real career. And you know, I me how old you are. Oh, that's one of the rules. Okay, so- She's not dating material. I'm just saying. I know, she can't follow directions.

It's okay, Madison. So I think, yes, here's the option. He might want to keep his options open and you're one of those options. Of course, he's probably going to check in to make sure you're interested. But you mentioned that a few months ago he was getting over break up

and that's why he wasn't ready for commitment. So there is a possibility, maybe he's ready now. But you won't know unless you ask him. So you have to be careful, try with caution because you still have feelings for him, and you need to protect yourself, and that get too hooked in until you know what his intentions are. So you've got to find out,

is he just looking up again? Because you missed you or he's like, you know what, I'm ready, you're the one. But you know what you need. You know that you're looking for something more serious, and so don't settle for it. Don't settle if he's not ready to give you what you need. You know that you're looking for something more serious and so don't settle for it. Don't settle if he's not ready to give you what you need.

He'll keep coming back and doing it for free because essentially that's what it is. It's like a transaction. And if she likes, so she gets feelings, and now she's gotta lay down the ultimately. You know, when you break up with someone and you know, Drew always says it on Loveline as well, like he says, we say six months,

but even just like three to six months, I think is what you need to not that you're gonna be totally over months, but even just like three to six months, I think is what you need to not that you're going to be totally over them, but like no contact. But she's making that fatal female flaw, which is maybe he's still coming around and having sex with me. He's probably still wants a relationship and he might, but he might not even know it. And he's going to take as much as he can from you until you lay down on ultimatum and you just have to say, look, no more of this unless we're actually gonna have a relationship because I'm not into it.

You gotta be strong. You gotta be honest. Because you're gonna, you know what it is? Like ripping the bandaid off? We're not ripping the board. So yeah, you take like 10 steps back and then. Because otherwise you could have, she could be wasting her time with this guy.

She's wasting her time, that's it meant. Or is it a deposit? You start, yeah, once you, if you sex them again, you're gonna be like, oh God, you can be back where you were. So hard to stick to it. And she could have more feelings for her because you guys and your oxytoc you're gonna be like, oh God, you can be back where you are. So I'm tired of you stick to it. More feelings for me, because you guys and your oxytocin. Exactly.

Yeah, right? So many men out there, like, I don't know why this is all, one of our missions in life as humans is to figure out what we want, what we like, professionally, personally, and sexually. And so if we know or in relationships. For you, that's all everything in command. No, I'm telling you, what we need, well, yeah.

But there's a lot of things you have to figure out, but that's our mission, like what do you want? And this is a really hard thing for people to define, I think. It's just, it's because there are maybe there's so many options and we don't think about it. But if you look at the relationship you're in, or you look at what you're trying to attract to your life, think like would I want a guy who wasn't being very

affectionate, didn't want to commit meant, was sleeping with that their girl, didn't treat me that that well Like would that be on your list? Right those things be what you want, but she know I heard her say chemistry, too Which is very important to see but then the sex trumps everything else But you have to think like what does the perfect takes some time men and women when you're you know Instead of looking at Instagram for five minutes and they if I could picture the perfect person right now, no, we're not, what would that be like?

That relationship. And then go after that kind of person. And then when you see someone who doesn't want a relationship or isn't into oral sex, whatever, you dump them, you look like you don't go the direction. Yeah, that's what I got. Okay. Especially when you're past your 20s.

When you're in your 20s. And you're 20s, but then it's like, yeah, I would like to say that, but then there's some people who you learn from these relationships with your 20s. Well, you're in 20s. And you're 20s, but then it's like, yeah, it's, I would like to say that, but then there's some people who you learn from these relationships with your 20s. I think that we, we change so much in our 20s. Yeah. And there's a lot to experience that they don't have a great success rate. Marge in their 20s. And you learn other people and you learn about yourself. So that's another way to learn. I think when you're younger, you, I'm asking you to picture what you want. You might not even know because you've never, you've been dated that many people.

So it's sort of experiential. You date and you say, like this, I don't like that. This is fun. I want someone who does these things with me. I couldn't have said these things when I was like 21 because I didn't have as much experience. Right. I'm like, I know exactly. And with each one I learn.

And we experience ourselves through other people, right? So the more different people we date and get to know and hang out with our lives, friends and relationships, the better we're gonna learn ourselves in our own tenon season one, not that's why experience like that is so important. Don't get hung up on one douche bag who's using for sex, move on, Madison, not females.

I think you're right. Yeah, yeah. But I hate saying that, because you know, I'm just doing the experience. But it's not looking good. So I just think, get clear it. Should we have one more? One more. This one's because you know, I just think get clear it. Should we have one more one more? This one's that this one. I find it interesting as long as they have an age.

What an age they got to follow the rules. There's no rules. They didn't do it. I mean, there is a rule. There are rules Madison. She could be like a seven year old woman and then we have totally different advice. That's true.

I know sometimes it's really hard. I'm like, what the fuck you should be 50? different advice, right? That's true. I know, sometimes it's really hard. I'm like, what the fuck, you should be 50, I don't know. I know, right? I don't. But here's one that we don't need in age. So is it weird to, if my girlfriend chooses to give up sex for lent, she kind of just dropped it on me and I'm a little perplexed as to why.

Thanks, Tim. Okay, usually for lent, you give up a vice. Yeah. You give up something that you really enjoy. You really enjoy it. But you probably have a pro, like a vice, something that has a negative, like you give up smoking, or you give up meat if you feel like you're, if it's bad for you, you don't give up. Really is it always something that, it is.

It is, it's kind of a vice. It can be like caffeine, chocolate, junk food, alcohol. What is the purpose of it? Is it to kind of show your love and devotion to the Lord? Catholics, yeah, they could give it up between, what is it between? It's something until Easter. Until Easter. And so I think that it's through Easter, it's like how many days is it? Like 40 days?

It's a long time. And so I think that it suggests that she feels like sex as a vice and probably not a healthy part of the relationship, which gives me pause because no one's like giving up like hugs or cruddles for length. I'm like, I shouldn't hug. You don't sex is kind of the same thing. You need to connect with your partner and that's an important part of your relationship. So I think you're going to have to have the uncomfortable conversation. It's okay to ask her why because she's your partner. So you can also ask her like, so what have you given up on past years, you know?

Yes, that's the key right there. She goes. She goes. Because it could also mean like she's giving up something that is the thing she likes most in life. And she is the hardest for her. Or she could be like a lazy stoner and she's giving up something that's the easiest to give up

because she doesn't really like the sex. I don't know. There's something going on or she could have some guilt There could be some issues growing up that she had some some kind of teachings around sex It still makes her feel shame which a lot of people carry into adulthood if they don't deal with it So you know that though you just got a she's just gonna find out what she gave up last year And then you can nail her for for those for you nail, but so that's exactly the answer right there I'm done then my work here is done well done

Thank you. It was really good to be here and thank you everyone for listening and My name is Michigan accent come see me at March 10th at the improv it'll be a good time It'll be chill fun people talking about dating even if you're in a relationship calm because apparently these get sold out everywhere and Anderson check out his pot.tac podcast. Yeah, we just did a We just did Oscar locks last week on the old film vault and that means this week and the biggest week of the year of the film vault the vaulties the vaulties it's when we do our top 10 list of I do my top 10 list of the year which is a formidable I want it to have a really good list of

movies that really affected me that because I saw like 170 movies a lot of Jesus so the mic the 10 that really were my favorites, we do the list, 10 to one on film vault this week. Film vault, and cinematic's podcasts, and also my podcast. And you could follow me on Snapchat too now, sex with Emily, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook.com, Sasha, because that we do a lot of giveaways, and we give you

lots of great information at Better Sex. I'm really just going to snapchat right now. I need to figure some stuff out. Mine's stuck on one second. I have no idea if it's true. I have to figure it out. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you?

Email me. Feedback at sexwithaml.com. Hey guys, are you looking for a new way to touch yourself? You got your hand, you know, women, we've got hundreds of toys. Some people have thousands of toys like myself, but you can get the flashlight. It's the only one you want. It's a male masturbation sleeve and it looks and feels like the real deal. It looks like a vagina. It feels like a vagina. I mean, I've had guys say that it's better than sex. And again, I love sex. I'm not going to try

you not to have sex. But if you're like, God, it might be kind of cool to feel something that's like sex, even if I'm not having sex because I'm watching so much porn anyway, or I'm masturbating a lot, mix it up. It feels really good with a partner too. She can give you a handy hand job. There's so many different kinds now. You gotta go to their website. Well, actually go to sexwiththeemlee.com, click on the flashlight banner, use code Emily,

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