Sex With Emily - Order In the Courthouse (of Love) with Judge Jerry Springer

Episode Date: November 20, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by TV personality & icon Jerry Springer and they’re talking about his new show “Judge Jerry” on NBC. Plus, Dr. Emily is answering your sex & relationship questions.The two discuss what Judge Jerry is all about – human connection, relationships & (of course) entertainment, as well as Jerry’s angle on how to maintain a happy marriage. Plus, Dr. Emily gives advice on ways to up your oral sex game & what to do when you have feelings for someone other than your spouse. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor more information on Judge Jerry, click HERE. For even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you listen to other people's stories, you can't help but start thinking, if I was in that situation, how would I react? Right. Maybe I should. And if how one person's reacting looks really stupid, file it away. So the next time you're in that situation, you know what? It was stupid when that person said it's a why? It's going to be any better when I say it. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show, I'm joined

by TV personality and icon Jerry Springer. And we're talking about his new show, Judge Jerry and NBC, plus I answer your sex, dating and relationship questions. Topics include what Judge Jerry is all about, human connection, relationships, and yes, entertainment. How to maintain a happy marriage courtesy of Jerry Sprer. We used to up your oral sex game when you've gotten some negative feedback and what to do when you're married and in love but you're starting to get feelings for someone else. All this and more, thanks for listening. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only what do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. You're gonna love our website. Check full of information out. You have better sex and relationships and finding all social media. It's at sex with Emily across the board

All right guys, I hope you enjoy the interview with Jerry Springer Jerry You're actually like a cultural icon. I apologize Okay, but you really are I mean well known for your talk show the Jerry Springer show and now you've a new show judge Jerry on NBC which I've been binging on and now you've a new show, Judge Jerry on NBC, which I've been binging on. Well, thank you. Of course, I do my work. And so I feel like that you have such an amazing way

of getting people to communicate, which I was realising we've a lot of similarities because my whole thing on the show is, you know, people call in, they ask for advice, I always say communication is a lubrication, get your partner to talk. And I feel like, you know, at 75 now, you've a lot of knowledge, a lot of experience. You've been helping people for a long time. So now with Judge Jerry, what has made you want to do this show at this time?

Well, it wasn't my idea. I was getting ready to stop taping the the Jerry Springer show. And we've been doing that for 27 years. So being 75, it was time. I thought I wasn't crazy about it, but it really was time. And literally one month before our last day of taping, Sean O'Boyle comes in, he's head of sales friend BC. And he comes into the office, he says, do you have a minute, I say yeah,

and he stands up and shuts the door. And that scares me because when they shut the door, this can't be good news. He says, you're a lawyer. How about doing Judge Jerry? And I just thought about it literally for a few seconds. I said, yeah. And as it turned out, it's the only job

I've ever been trained for. Every other job I've had, and I've been real lucky in life, has been handed to me. It's not anything I went to school for. But this was, you know, finally, all the money my parents put into law school. They're like, right, exactly, right. And it's the first grown up job I've had in 30 years.

Right, so the other, so, but that was a real job showing up for 27 years. No, it's, I'll tell you what, to be a talk show host, I mean, on the kind of show that I was doing which was a circus, you only need three lines. You need to be able to say, you did what? Come on out, we'll be right back. If you can do those three lines, you're a talk show host.

What else did I do? It was, I mean, it was great fun, but anybody could have done it. I happened to have been a host of a show that took off. Yeah. But it wasn't because of anything I was doing. Well, I would like this. I would like to dispute that because I believe that you are

somebody who has a personality that you don't judge people. You kind of help people see what is morally right. Even when all the craziness was going out with the Jerry Spinner Show, you were still kind of the voice of reason in the room. But now with Judge Jerry, you really are. Like you are, it's a little more control. I mean, it is controlled. Like you are kind of seems to come to you.

Yeah, this is right. This is, you're dealing oftentimes with the same kind of issues. That's what you can say. What are the issues? Well, it's small claims. It's a $5,000 and less. So it's automobile accidents. It's landlord tenant. It's a guy has a fiance. He gives her a ring. Will you please marry me? She says yes. And he slips their engagement

ring on her finger. Two months later, she finds out that he's cheating on her. She breaks off the engagement. He wants his ring back. Does he get it back? Does he get it back? Oh, what's Judge Jerry? No, well, yes, and I'll explain why. Okay, why? There is, if he would have given her the ring for Christmas, let's say, that's a gift. When you give an engagement ring, that's what we call a conditional gift. Will you marry me? If she says yes, she gets the ring. So she's accepting the ring as a condition of marrying him. That was the agreement. He didn't just say, hey, have a ring. You know, it looks pretty

on you. Will you marry me? Yes, here's the ring. If. He didn't just say, hey, have a ring. You know, it looks pretty on you. Will you marry me? Yes. Here's the ring. If she breaks it off, even though she had every reason to, she has to give the ring back because the agreement was, if I marry you, you're giving me this ring. Right.

Okay. That makes sense. I mean, the ones that I saw, I watched a few, and a lot of it was families. It was like, it was like a father and an uncle, right? They were fighting over meatball sandwiches. The daughter gets a bill for, you know, a lot of it was families. It was like, it was like a father and an uncle, right? They were fighting over meatball sandwiches. The daughter gets a bill for, you know, over the $1,400. You really have watched.

Of course, dude, this is a lot of work. How can I sit and talk to you if I don't know what's going on? You're very good at what you do. Now, thank you. Same with you, which is why I'm very interested in this, because I feel like, because when I'm watching, then there was a family, a mother, and daughter, the daughter, or the mom money.

And I thought, are we really just, do we just not have the right tools to operate as humans? Do we not know how to communicate? Have we not learned? Are we not teaching in schools? And, you know, what, do you feel like a lot of really is just getting people to know the right thing? The thing is that there's no...

There's no school for becoming a parent. And you know, people have kids with absolutely and not because they're bad human beings, they haven't acquired the skills maybe because they didn't have parents that taught them those skills. So we all of a sudden are bringing children into the world without the skills of teaching them how to deal. So maybe they grew up in a household where things weren't talked out in a reasonable fashion where you didn't learn responsibility, where you didn't have a moral code that says if someone is doing this

I should be nice to that person. Well, this is a family member because I agree and I said in in some of those cases Why would you ever sue your own kid right or? grown daughter why are you suing your mom? Right, right. You know, what are you guys going to do with Thanksgiving? Exactly. It's bad enough that we have to watch that we can't talk about Trump, because that'll go crazy. Right, let's not talk about politics. Yeah, so now we can't even...

So it is said that it reaches that. But, in a civilized society, there has to be some structure whereby disputes can be settled without grabbing weapons. So the reason you have a judicial system, the reason you have a court system, is that these disagreements can be worked out where everyone is going to accept what the result is. And they have to. But the argument's over there has to be at least. And if we don't have that, we don't have a civilized society. Then we will have Anarchy, chaos, total violence, et cetera. But what do you think about, so if you're in your 27 years of doing the Jerry Spinger show, and now just a month into your new show,

Judge Jerry, which everyone should check out? Yeah, NBC Universal syndicates it, but you check with your local listings because it's in every city in America. Congratulations. Well, I had nothing to do with that. That's Jerry.com. But they sold it in every city in America.

So you just check whatever community you're in and see what that, it's a daytime show. Right. So it's a daytime, but here's what I want to know though. How do you think in the last 27 years we're doing this, has Americans changed that much? Or has your audience changed like, do you think that we are with technology, for example,

that we're actually way worse at communicating? Are you kind of seeing similarities like, oh, it's really kind of the same issues. There was 20 years ago people don't have people aren't. Most of us have childhoods that have some challenges. I would say the majority of us and I would also say the bright side of that is if you do the work, most of us are kind of here to work through that stuff. Well, I start off on the assumption that we are all social beings that if you had television

2000 years ago, you would have had talk shows. And if we have television 2,000 years from now, we'll still have talk shows. We are social beings. It used to be 2,000 years ago that people would gather in the town square or in the market place and just chat with each other about what's going on. Oh, did you hear what happened to so and so and that is being a human being. It's why we're different than trees or even animals. We communicate about what's going on with people with social. And that the only thing that's different today is where we always talked about what was going on in our neighborhood, because of technology, our neighborhood today is the planet Earth. So through first radio and then television and

then social media and the internet, now our neighborhood is the planet. We know more about the Kardashians than we do about who's living next door to us. We know our neighbors, which I think is a huge problem. We're also disconnected. Yeah, so it's like, so I'm not, so if you asked me 30 years ago, we're talking about the same things and we will always talk about it. We will always talk about people and what their current problems are. Think about it. Every day we're alive, there are at least a hundred decisions that we have to make.

We're not even conscious that it's a decision. You know, which way we're going to go to work today? What am I going to wear? My kid asked this question, should I take the get to the soccer game or what about? You know, there's constantly making decisions. If you just mathematically know that every human being on earth is making a hundred decisions a day, just mathematically the odds are that some of those decisions

will turn out not to be right, not because it's a bad human being, but because sometimes you don't have all the information, you're under stress, whatever. So they're gonna be conflicts. Just. So they're gonna be conflicts. Just mathematically, they're gonna be conflicts. And therefore, we have to have a system. Communication is obviously the best way to do it.

But not everyone has the same communication skills. I think this is the main thing. People always say, oh, sex with Emily, what do you talk about all day? Or it's mostly my job is I'm helping people communicate. What do you want, what does your partner want, how do you talk about it? And so what do you think, like, know you've always been very, do not judge mental, you vote people, or you're beloved, like your list that you are. I mean, really. And so what do you think it is about

your upbringing, how did you get set up for this? How do you know the right thing? I'm not saying you have it made mistakes, perhaps you have. But what is that about, like, your upbringing, and what would you love to see here? Well, I I locked out in the gene pool of parents. If you think about it, 99% of what we are we had nothing to do with. There's not one person I've ever met and there's not one person listening to your audience today that had anything to do with the decision to be born to whom they'd be born, in what era, in what country, with what brain, it with what health, with what environment, it has nothing to do that. I could take Bill Gates, admittedly one of the most, what we would all agree, successful people,

you can imagine. If Bill Gates had been born in Ethiopia, he would have been dead at the age of five. Imagine if Bill Gates had been born in Ethiopia, he would have been dead at the age of five. So therefore virtually everything that happens in our life, we had nothing to do with. Now the last 1% we work really hard and some of us will turn out to make better decisions maybe because they were born with a better brain. I had great parents, they guaranteed that I would get to school, that would learn you know it's not using the law degree. Yeah, yeah So you know that's it But if I didn't have my parents and had perhaps different parents who weren't Where neither is smart or weren't given the opportunities or whatever who knows so it's

I think if we're conscious of that first of all we wouldn't be so elitist. We wouldn't be well I made it why can't they? Right. You know no one should say I made it on my own. Right. No one makes it on the road. I mean just get over it. Right. You know when you're sitting alone in the room at night before you go to sleep just think about it. Don't we all. You know those are people who have been quote successful in life. We know this is a show. I mean my gosh. How did I get this? Right. Well how did you though Jerry? Like what I know you're saying you're so humble and you're like oh I'm just. I'm just. I have a mirror. Say welcome to the show.

Yeah you're like oh I was just really good at saying it and we'll be back after this. But that's not true. I feel like there has to be some things at 75. What could we learn? What do you hope people learn from the show watching your new show, Judge Jerry, which I got sucked in? Well, I mean, what I'd like, you know, it's the same thing I told my daughter or my grandson. It's, you know, just be nice. Right. It's, if you, if that would be the only rule in life, be nice. And if you're nice, you won't hurt

someone. If you're nice, you won't steal. If you're nice, you won't be inconsiderate. You won't inf purposely inflict pain. Um, if you're nice, she'll be charitable. I mean, it's, it's not that difficult. Okay, but, but, but in the sense, okay. So I'm going back to the meatball sandwich one because I was really into that episode. I'm like, how is this father suing his daughter over? It was their uncle who made the sandwiches for the bill. And then all of a sudden, what I love with there was a moment where he's like, you will, you, in the daughter's hand, they're crying.

I can't afford this bill. And he's like, but you, you never listen to your teenager. And then the husband you married was against my will. And you're like, that's the problem here. So it all goes down to that she went against her father and married someone he hasn't like. And now for years, they've been, so I guess he would probably think he's a really nice guy.

That's the dad. He probably, his employees like him is family like some, but people don't know how to resolve conflicts. And then they just sort of, they just sort of insidious. Well, here's what I think happens. And if I had your job for a day, and I am not qualified to have it, but the one advice, I, you know, when people like because of the show would ask, you know, I'm having this

problem with my wife or husband or whatever. When the things people are yelling about, a most often not the thing they're upset about. Exactly. Yep. People calling about things and like, that's not the question. Right. That's, and, you know, when I tease around about guys, you know, not understand my life yields to me for this. And, and now we're fighting.

I said, you're getting drawn into the fight over taking out the garbage. She's not yelling at you because the garbage hasn't been taken out. She's yelling at you because there's something that she asked you to do that you don't think is important enough to listen to and to just do it because she's going to feel better about it. That you thought, you made your own decisions. It's not that important. she's going to feel better about it that you thought you made your own decision it's not that important you're gonna watch the game instead and this could have been building up for years you you know, she's throwing things at you know verbally and you just say, but it's the thing that they're yelling about is not what they're angry about. So instead of getting into a who can shout louder or use the bigger curse words, just deep breath.

I believe that everybody needs therapy to help them. You've been married for a long time. 46 years. Okay. Did you guys ever have therapy? No. So what's the secret to your success? Marry the perfect woman. Come on. That's not fair. We were all trying for that. I know. I know anything to say in our final seconds here. Oh, uh, If you love someone the first question always has to be an even drill it into yourself. What's gonna make her happy? Okay, what are the happy wife happy life? Like the happy wife happy life thing? How about making you, okay, that makes sense. But if she's, because you know what,

if I'm not happy because something happened great with her, then how much do I really love her? You know, if you're threatened or jealous, when you're young and you fall in love with someone Hey, I could argue that's the most selfish thing in the world because the truth is You love that person because they're making you feel great, right? You love the way she looks you love the way she treats you You love the way that she just stares at you and you you know, it's because it's all you

You don't love someone out of charity. Yeah, no know it's because it's all you you don't love someone out of charity. Yeah no it's true. What she really likes me so okay I'll marry her. No but when you're together after a while it's like with your kid or with now with our grandson. Honestly the happiest thing if he got a great report card and the last two days we've just been bubbling over it. You know, it's like, oh my gosh, we never thought that he was taking it seriously. And he's got these great grades.

So, you know, that if you can be happy because they did well. Right, because someone else is happy, your partners have. Yeah. And if that doesn't really make you that happy, then think about it. Right. Are you threatened? Are you jealous?

What's it bringing up for you? Which is why I think we need therapy? Or listen to judge. Okay, so judge Jerry, people can about it. Right. Are you threatened? Are you jealous? What's it bringing up for you? Which is why I think we need therapy. Or listen to Judge. Okay. So Judge Jerry, people can find it at judgejerry.com or jerrysbringer.com. Judge Jerry TV on Instagram. We'll put all this in the show notes as well.

Is there, I'm trying to think, what else here, Jerry? Thank you. What can people get from watching the show? What do you hope? Besides being entertained. I think when we hear other people's stories, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we think when we hear other people's stories, we, I know that, you know, if you listen to other people's stories, you can't help but start thinking. If I was in that, just like we were talking before, if I was in that situation, how would I react? Right. Maybe it has.

And if how one person's reacting looks really stupid, file it away. So the next time you're in that situation, you know what? It was stupid when that person said it's a wise, it's gonna be any better. Or I say it. Which is why we love watching the human get- condition because we are all mirrors.

So thank you for the new show, Judge Jerry. All right, we're gonna take quick break and we come back. We're gonna get into your email questions. All right, it's time for emails with Emily. I love answering your questions. It's why I'm here. So if you want a question answered on the show, go to sexflamie.com, click the ask Emily tab, fill out the short form or just email me,

feed back at sex with Emily. com, but always include your name, your age where you live and how you listen to the show. Thanks, guys. Came here with producer Jamie, you want to read the email? Of course, but of course. Okay, this first one comes to us from Rowan, who is 23 in glass glow. Okay, hi, Dr. Emily. I've just discovered your podcast and I love it.

I have a question for you. My boyfriend is getting really worried that he can't please me when we're having sex, which has led to him not wanting to have sex most of the time. He finishes quite quick whereas I take ages so don't tend to orgasm. I suggested we spend longer on four play but this made him anxious too. How do I help him feel comfortable about sex again so we can get back to having a great sex life? Also, any tips for him to last longer. Thanks so much. All right, Rowan, 23.

Here's a deal. I love that you are realizing that, yeah, you actually need some foreplay to have your orgasm, which is just so you know, the majority of women. Remember that only 20% of women will orgasm through penetration, and for the majority of women, 80 that only 20% of women will orgasm through penetration and for the majority of women 80% We need literal stimulation to get us there. So what I suggest is that you have a talk with him outside the bathroom when you guys are just chilling and you just say don't listen I really want to like talk about our sex life. I love you our relationship the sex we're having But I really would love to let you know explore together

about what would make me feel good and you could let him know what kind of foreplay you require. Now for many women it could be kissing, touching, slowing down, oral sex, using his fingers, using you know his hands. The reason why he seems anxious about it is because he probably doesn't know what to do to please you, which is very common. He know, and I think for a lot of men, they just kind of shut down around for play because

they don't want to look like they don't know what they're doing. So I think that having a talk and saying, let's explore together would be great, a great place to start and let them know that you can show them things that you like. I also like the idea of mutual masturbation because I'm hoping that you already know how to orgasm or you've had orgasm on your own if you haven't This goes for everyone listening You got to do it all on your own. It really helps to masturbate on your own to figure out what feels good Now if he's not lasting long enough. That's another thing

He has to work on that himself as well for men who are I I'm going to assume he's a premature ejaculator. So coming before he wants to, he has to work on edging, essentially what we call edging. And that's masturbating where he's about to orgasm and then he's stopped. So he's he's figuring out a jack, a jack literary control. So he can learn to regulate it when you're having sex. It's important for him to do his keglexercises. They're great for men and for women. I know that really helps men last longer. He can also use permessant, which is a delay spray.

You don't need a prescription for it. It helps men last 64% longer in bed, which is pretty awesome. You spray it on. You just wait 10 to 20 minutes. During that time, he can actually go down on you and please you and make sure that you have your orgasm And then he's gonna be ready to go. So that could be a quick fix But does remember there are no quick fixes to sex to be honest It's a lifelong process of understanding your body having really smart conversations. They get a lot easier as we have them

The conversations get easier, but also your sex life gets better. So it's worth it. Yeah. All right. I agree. All right. It does. It just like with anything, even when you have like the best partner in the world, there's going to be a point

where you have to work on it to make it better. Yes. Because it'll get it'll change, it'll get boring. Certain positions won't feel good anymore. You're going to want more. Everything gets a little bit stale after that. Yeah. Isn't that the worst when you have a position that works and all of a sudden you're like,

yeah, I can't. I'm over it. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly.

Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly in Texas. Dr. Emily, I've listened to your show for years and love it, but can't believe I'm actually bringing up

this question or topic. I'm a 50 year old male who has been happily married for three years now. My wife's my soulmate and I would do anything for her. Well, my wife has best friend who is single that has lived with us for two years now, and I'm finding myself extremely attracted to her and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

We touch each other in those ways that let each other know we like one another. I fantasize about having a sexual relationship with my wife's friend and having my wife be okay with it. Luckily, she's pretty open-minded, but I don't know how to bring it up to her and I can't get the situation out of my head. Can I actually be in love with two women? Am I a freaking mental case to even think such a thing? I'd really like some advice I hope you can help in any way. Thank you. All right, okay, so Colin listed.

This is a tough situation, but the thing here is you've been married to your wife for three years or three years into your marriage and this woman's lived with you for two years. And so even if your wife is super open-minded, it is her best friend. Now, if you bring it up and you say, you know what, I've been thinking that I'd really like

to be with your friend, it's gonna be a huge problem. Although there's a part of me that thinks, does she not know at all? Like another woman, I don't know how big your house is or how much you've spent together. But if your wife came to you and said, hey, I've been looking at your best friend, I think Bob's really cute.

You know, how would you feel about that? So I would recommend that you have a conversation with your wife about your sex life and just ways you guys can keep it interesting and spice it up. And I actually think that if you really start investing time with your wife and prioritizing your sex life and exploring, touch, conversations, getting toys, doing all the things we talk about on the show every week. I feel like that could become a new focus for your fantasies. Like if you guys are trying new things, experimenting new things, you have a project together that

is your sex life. Whether you download our yes, no, maybe list, you like I said, take a watch porn together, figure out new things that'll keep it interesting. That's where your tension's gonna go. But right now, I would just have to think that maybe things aren't that interesting. And so it's allowing you to have all this time and all this attention to focus on the other woman. So I feel like if I was one of my best friends living with my husband, first off, like my very best friends, it's just wouldn't happen. Like they would never be with my husband. First off, like my very best friends, it's just wouldn't happen. Like they would never be with my husband. Exactly. So I, but I don't know, I feel like I

would, I would be able to read this energy. So maybe she has a sense of it. Maybe she has a sense, but also maybe he's, he's, he's said, because he says, like, oh, we touch each other in those ways that let each other know we like one another. I'm like, but maybe she's just like, because Emily, you're very endearing with your friends. You touch, but that doesn't make you want to see what's all your friends. And I have to tell you that in the past, like I feel like there have been situations

where men have gotten the wrong idea, like guy friends, like, oh, maybe she does like me. And I'm just super affectionate and, you know, I hug. And I think that men sometimes can notoriously misinterpret women's touch and women's gestures to mean that they're more sexual than they actually are. So I would just be nervous of risking a lot of drama with this situation. Yeah, I feel like, and it's not even gonna just

like put a pitch wedge in the marriage, gonna pin in the pin in their friendship. And then especially if the friend is like, no, dude, that's not even what I was thinking at all. The wife's not gonna trust the friend. But it's like, it's gonna be super, super messy. It already is messy in your mind. So I think the good news about sex is a lot of us

get wired in these ways that we think it's the only way we can have sex. We have thoughts that are obsessive about sex. We can only orgasm a certain way or we can orgasm at all, or even more premature to ejaculate or like our last You know our last email. It's like These are all learned practices and our brain gets wired But we can rewire our brain with practice of filling it with other thoughts other

motions other activities other ways of moving that can actually allow us to redirect our sex life back towards actually Having pleasure and satisfaction that works for us, not against us. All right, thanks for your email. Let me know how it goes, Colin. Okay, this next one is from Lauren who is 25 in Long Beach, California. Hi, Dr. Emily.

Thank you so much for your podcast. It is so helpful. My question is about oral sex. I've been single for six years, so I haven't been consistently giving blow jobs like I would be in a relationship. My last boyfriend kind of taught me how as I was when I was young, I was with him for three years and gave them often and he always seemed to enjoy them a lot. He would give me positive feedback and I felt very confident after a while. Fast forward to my single life and the last two guys I slept with complained about my teeth during a blow job. The boyfriend I mentioned before never said anything about teeth, so this was a new realization.

I have a very small mouth, so I think this might be an issue I didn't know I had. Now I'm very insecure about giving one, and I'm worried I will hurt any future guys. This has given me some anxiety, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I saw online tips about covering your lips with your teeth. However, this makes it difficult to get any suction going. If you have any tips, please help a girl out. Thank you so much. All right, Lauren, this is such a great question

because I have to tell you that one of the first tips about giving a blowjob is to cover your teeth. And so I know what you're doing it like right now. If I sit here, I think it would be hard by teeth or cupboards or jammies's without a penis there in your mouth, it'd be hard to picture that we actually be able to work. But you're not necessarily sucking the whole time. It's more like you're moving your mouth up and down, you're using your tongue, and you're really just like copying your, it just becomes a practice, you know, it's like

riding a bike. I feel like I've been doing it, a practice, you know? It's like riding a bike. I feel like I've been doing it, so I don't even think about it like my teeth. I know, I'm saying. I just automatically go, you don't have no teeth. So I feel like, you know, the first boyfriend, you're like, watch the teeth. So babe, I understand why you have anxiety over it

because it's two guys told you this. But I feel like, you know, if you have, if it use a lot of lube, that would be great. We love Wumar Play. It's like a coconut oil lube or muse, which is water, which is water-based and they're flavored. And that also makes it fun. Our producer at Serious Christina was saying that,

that she used the muse, the mid chocolate, giving her husband a blow-dup and she just not like giving blow-dup and she's like, I gave him the longest blow-dup because it tasted so good. That's the muse lube. But I feel like, using gave him the longest blowjump because it tasted so good. That's the museloop. But I feel like making sure that your mouth is covered and then using your hands, you guys,

our hands are great accessories to any blowjob. You can focus on the shaft with your hands and then on the tip, just use your mouth, use your tongue. You know, suck around the head. The fernulum is the most sensitive part of the penis, which is the underside where the shaft meets the tip. But also, I would even make a joke about it. I mean, I would even say to the guys,

like, tell me if you like it. I want to make sure I'm not hurting you or like, you know, like, you could just look up and say, I want to make sure I'm doing this right. How does this feel? And just be like playful and fun with it because then you'll know. Be like, be sure to tell me.

I mean, I think that women and say it was bad. We think they have to be perfect at it and then they don't try. Just like our first email from Rowan and she was saying, oh, now my boyfriend's anxious about going down on me or about foreplay because literally, we just don't know what to do. And in your 20s or sometimes people in their goddamn 40s, if no one, if you, but especially you haven't been with as many people, they know and gives you feedback really, but now you've two guys in a row. So now we know you have to cover your teeth.

So it's really just a, it's practice and it's being open and knowing that this is like something that I promise you you can learn. It just takes a little bit of practice. And if you play for like this feel good or let me know and just play with it, they'll be happy that you asked and that you're guiding them. Ask them all, you're like, it's in your hand.

And you're like, this feels you're like licking the tip. And so I understand, you know, just be playful with it. And I get the thing about the teeth, but once you get in there and you're covering your mouth, you're gonna understand what I mean. You're gonna, you're covering your teeth, you'll understand. Yeah, and I coming from someone, I have a, you know, I have a pretty small mouth,

but it should, the covering of your teeth should not affect the blow job. Yes. In fact, it kind of makes it easier to keep things wet in a sense. It does. Because you can lick those parts of your lips and it feels better for them.

Exactly. Lick your lips, put some lube on it, keep reapplying lube because a wet blow job is a happy blow job. So wet, use your hands, you do enough pressure, and then just cover up your teeth and just ask questions and get back out there girl, get back on the blow jobs. Make sure you're getting yours girl. Alright, great question.

Love a good blow job. Love all these questions. Thank you for listening, for supporting the show, for giving us five stars wherever you listen and subscribing. I so appreciate that. That allows us to continue to do three shows a week, which we love doing. Thank you Jamie I love you my producer Jamie and thanks to my awesome team Ken Kristen Alisa Michelle and Michael was it good for you email me feedback at sexwithamely.com You