Sex With Emily - Orgasms, Ghosting & Condom Confusion

Episode Date: July 27, 2016

Today’s show is packed with tips to help you solve a range of communication conundrums, from broaching the topic of new toys to concerns with STIs to unease surrounding your partner’s orgasmic abilities.     Finding it difficult to keep up with the hot new digital dating lingo? Emily and Menace go over a glossary of trending sex and dating terms, from ghosting to benching to haunting—Oh my! Then it’s right into your emails about how to get past your partner’s sexual history, confusion surrounding the female orgasm, and how to discuss bringing new sex toys into play.   Whether you’re unsure how to open up an uncomfortable sex conversation, are struggling to hold onto your condoms, or you just want your partner to tune in to Sex With Emily, this podcast will surely get you talking! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're helping you navigate a variety of sex and love issues. What to do if you can't get past a partner sexual past? How do you discuss STI concerns with a partner? And advice for listener who's seriously confused about the female orgasm? All this and more, thanks for listening! Since I began telling you about the womanizer, I've received countless messages from listeners telling me how much they love this revolutionary product.

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sweet spot. So come on, there's really no excuse anymore. It's time to get your own womanizer. You can see all the amazing womanizer models at womanizershop.com or by clicking on the womanizer banner on my website. Check it out now. Betrubized, they called them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but all we? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, just check out sexwithemily.com. Subscribe to our podcast, so friggin' easy, and follow us on all the social media stuff that we're doing cause it's good time. Oh, and now you can listen to my show on Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify. Sweet. Cause all those places are happening too. And I'm shop with Emily.

And the little button on my site, I've got a store. Oh, these years I've won a store because I always talk about toys and I'm like products. And then just these are the ones I love. Curated by me. Do you know how many womanizers you probably sold like a billion? Oh my god, it was the number one search term on my site for like months because it's a bit so pretty amazing to me. Yeah, yeah, we think that it was burrs. I wish you got royalties off that. Me too, dude. Oh, because we'd be doing this from your mansion right now. No, dude, when's the mansion coming? I don't know. I got a little guest house, it's on the way. But the womanizer, yeah, that's, it's funny, but we did a video, we video, okay,

so we have a YouTube channel. And we are putting more on the YouTube channel and we did a really funny video called the Clint Westboro, where I'm not gonna tell you what happens, but it has to do with the womanizer and it's freaking hilarious, because Lori makes killer videos. Lori and Jamie work with me and you should check that stuff out.

All right, so that's youtube.com slash sex of Emily. I believe so. Yes. It was really good my site too. For all that stuff, and we have been some great shows lately, recently Oral Sex Hangups and Office Obsessions. So we talk about what to do when you want to like bang your boss, if you got hangups around Oral Sex, that was a fun show.

But now I'm here with Menace. Hello. Hi. How are you? I'm so good. Nice to see you? You see me? I see you. I was gonna tell you that I was thinking about you. Oh, I always think about you. No, I wasn't thinking about you. But no, you have to tell you that I was thinking about you. But you know, I was telling you that I've been listening to shows lately. Uh-huh. And it's interesting because I

admitted a few shows ago that I was like, I don't, I don't often listen to the shows, like I know that I record them. I know you guys, I'll like them and they're helpful, but I'm not like sitting and listening because I love other podcasts. I love listening to radio. I don't have a lot of free time, but it's interesting listening back because you often don't remember what's happening. And I was thinking about that a lot of what we talk about is, what would you say?

What we talk about on the show tonight? Well, I try to talk about what's going on in your personal life sexually. Right. And then the advice we give mostly is around what though? The advice, I mean, you're always pushing to have guys go down on women. That's true.

That's like, one of your campaigns, pussy, pussy, pussy, putting in sex toys, you're pushing some sex toys. No, right. Okay, we talk about communication a lot. You're not getting it. Communication is the lubrication. Yeah, you're hilarious. You know you're reminding me of right now?

What? Medicine so tired is the drunk show. Yes. It was like, Medis, you're reminding me of right now. What? Metis is so tired is the drunk show. Yes. It was like, Metis, you do the opening, like which I've said, 5,000 times, you're listening exactly and you can do it. No, I don't pay attention. I do now. I know.

But the thing is, I mean, yeah, I mean, there's three major things. If you guys not going down on you, then screw him. No, no. No, no. Get yourself a womanizer and communication is a lubrication. There's three main things. Oh, and your kegels.

I can't get to do your kegels. Kegel camp is an iPhone app I have that I love. I have personally, everyone loves it. It's because you get to do kegels because then you get kegels to steal and you have orgasms of explosion. Yeah. And get a butt plug.

God, you just can have it. Thanks for listening. Hey, yo, it's so sweet. We're out. Matt has summed it up. He's out. Yo, bro, see ya. Thanks for coming.

However, I was listening to the show and I was thinking about, you were listening to that funny show we have with the Lady Freaks on. Remember Jen and Grace were on the show. They were so funny. I love them. They were so funny. I love them. They were so funny. And I was thinking about it and Grace was telling a story. That was a great show called,

oh, Sexfully, Seven Lady Freaks. You'll see the title. Their comedians. They're really funny. But she was saying how she had sex with a friend. And then afterwards, she's like, we just actually talked about the sex. And I was like, like a playboy. She was like, yeah, we talked about like what he liked, what I didn't like. And I was like, it's she's like, I'd never had sex with them before. And I thought to myself, because we're always trying to make communication easier, but like, here's a great, I thought about this as I was running

and listening is like, here's a great like, communication hack, if you will, is that, I always say like don't talk about sex in the bedroom like if you're having like an issue or you want to try something new, but why not just after you're like, God, you go, another thing every time, I'm just saying, I've done this before as well,

it reminded me that afterwards, wow, that was hot. If I'm with a guy, I'd be like, what were you doing there with your fingers? I have that killer orgasm, or making out, that was really hot. So I can tell my next partner. Yeah, exactly. But like in the moment, even after we're just like

saying what you liked, and you know, even if you are in bed, and it was like just fun, like playful, like in the, because it's really fresh in your mind, you know what just went down, and you'd be like, like even if you're a guy, and a lot of guys, I know email me their, you know, questions, because you know, women, we, we have a woman too, but we talked to our friends about it, we've got a lot of guys I know email me their you know questions because you know women we we

have a woman too but we talked to our friends about it we've got a lot of places to go men how many of your friends had done said I'm trying to for a perform kind of link is on my friend and I'm not really sure what does chicken not to do so that's right lot of guys so that's just a great sex hack for it if you're with a woman you're like that you come did she not did I like this you could just be like you look you know that was so hot when you were on top of me, right? And me like, is that, is that, you know, does that feel good to you? Cause it looked really hot.

You know, just like in the moment, it's what happened right after, like, when you leave a movie, after the movie. And cause you should never talk to a movie. No. And you talk about the movie. Why don't talk about the sucks? It just like is an easier way to do it.

But again, not to bring up issues, but just to be like, that was fun. And that was a cool movie day when you were swinging from the rafters. Just an idea there. So what's up with you, Minus? Anything besides the fact that you missed me. I miss you dearly. I might get another dog. I know you said this. Yeah, working on it. That might happen. Who watches the drama when you go away? She either goes three places. She goes to San Francisco,

if we're leaving town for quite a while. She's like, Take a train. What does she do? We take her up to San Francisco and then passadena and some local areas. I was saying we're always with friends

and with other dogs. I got it. She likes playing with other dogs. That's why I want to get her sister. You think that they're going to, then there will have two people watching you. There is two dogs watching you and you have sex. How you going to handle that? I got it. She likes playing with other dogs. That's why I want to get her sister. You think that they're going to do, then they'll have two people watching you. You never two dogs watching and you have sex.

How you going to handle that? Oh, well, no, see, maybe this dog is going to be taking care. They're wrong. You're wrong. They're both going to be watching you. It's going to disappear in your sex life. I'm watching your sex life die right now. No, no, no.

There goes sex life. You know, I think you showed a you like your shopper down for dogs. I'm shopping around for dogs. I look for dogs too. right now. No, no, no, a glossary for modern dating. So these are all new terms that have come out with benching. Exactly. You've heard a ghosting, right? Yes. So ghosting is sort of being in the zeitgeist, right?

Because you're kind of over it, everyone's like, oh, he ghosted. She ghosted. Yeah, Netflix and chill. Yeah, yeah. But here's the new, but I thought you'd like to hear. Okay. You can bring this into the Woody show. All right.

You can learn something. Here's the new one. And it was funny because everyone in my office the other day was like, we all talked about benching and we all heard about it because, okay, so benching is a new term and it's not like a new dating trend, but it is a new name. And it's basically just the string, is somewhat stringing someone along. Like keeping your nets in the water,

leading someone on, keeping your options open, like saving some backups for a raining day. You can even call it passive ghosting. Oh, so back burning something. But it happens when someone's kind of into you and the person texts you in response just enough to keep you on the hook. Yeah.

So it's, you know, they're still kind of in the round, but they're just doing enough to keep you interested. So they might snap at you, they might like, do something like your Instagram, but they just want to keep you on the hook. So it's called like, you're on the bench. But I'm not necessarily going to do anything with that. But that's just back burning. That's just it.

Yeah, but they people got turns now. So here's haunting. All right. Maybe this is something. One more thing about benching, though, is I feel like that's what everyone does now. When they even they go, I feel like nobody with digit was, and this is these are all social media.

I'll have social media involved. Nobody really goes away any more. Like every day, it's not even like, oh, I ran into him 10 years later. No, you ran into him five minutes later, like on Facebook or Snapchat or your friends all. So, you know, where is that? like, oh, I ran into him 10 years later. No, you ran into him five minutes later, like on Facebook or Snapchat or your friend's home. So, you know, where he's at, what he's doing? Everything.

I'm looking at your eyebrow by the way and it looks like he has jizz in it. On the other side, that, yeah. Where you go, what is that? Is that some of your loop or is that actually jizz? You know what it is? It's a piece of my green nail polish fell off on my eyebrow.

Really? Yeah, I wish it was jizz. That's such a very story. Yeah. The'm my eyebrow. Really? Yeah, I wish it was just. That's such a better story. The nail chipping. Haunting. Yes. Haunting is when the ghost returns in the form of social media interactions. Without being in touch with you directly like words, it was coined in a tweet by tech insider Allison Chantel. They actively like your Facebook posts, Instagram pictures, via Snapchat, or Snapchat stories,

give you mixed signals, only conclusion in the form of, well, I guess they're alive. Some have said this is particularly painful, but unlike benching, they don't get in touch with you directly. So they're just like in your photos or whatever. And you're like, you broke up whatever you go,

so you don't stop it, block them. I don't know unless you can handle it. Sliding. This is social, have you're like, you broke up, whatever you go, you didn't stop it, block them. I don't know, unless you can handle it. Sliding, this is social, have you heard of sliding? No. Okay, me neither. It's a form of social media flirtation that happens when someone you don't know sends you a personal message on social media,

which has happened to me, didn't know there was a term for it. They slide into your direct messages. Oh, slide into the DMs, yeah. Slide into the DMs. It's an action that while seemingly inoffensive is usually a little percusious, if not abrupt, it's yeah, it usually happens before you've indicated any interest. So you may have been interactively open on, say, Twitter. So tweet each other, but they slide in with the DM.

I get that sometimes. I get that. You get your DMs as full. I get the DMs. I get the messages on just full. I get the DMs, I get the messages on the Instagram. There was a singer slash a model. Her name is Nikki Heeden. There's some video of her doing an interview talking about

just people just constantly trying to slide into her DMs and then they put like D picks in there and she should have that. Yeah, totally. You should see my Instagram. It says you have 99 plus things. Oh no. And I do respond to some people, I don't know. I like it says you have 99 plus things. Oh, no. And I do respond to some, I don't know what I'm saying.

I do respond to some people, but a lot of times I was like, I love you. It's hot. You're hot or dick pick. Okay, so that's sliding. And I think, okay, the next one is tuning. So, so sliding is when you think they're gone, or there's a further tuning, is flirting, usually online.

In a way that skirts the possibility of being rejected and may lead to a booty color text, the person is sending signals in the form of, you see, they're all very like closely related, but in the form of Instagram or Facebook likes text messages and snapchets. So once there's been a back and forth validating interest, like a late night direct message could follow. So I've been hearing more about this lately where like

My friend was like she's like oh my god. This really cute guy that I don't know liked for my photos like if you know I In the last week like and then she liked his photos and then they started messaging So I feel like it's kind of flirting online. Yeah, so you're tuned in into the person all right passive ghosting Is the way someone you've matched with unsay t say Tinder or Bumble or Grinder is passive when you message them. You can't really get through to them though. You're supposed to have indicated interest because you like matched and the replies are like short and brief, but it's never like, let's get together again.

Does it sound like a real person? Exactly. Right. And then there's talking, which is like, hey, yeah, you hanging out check even talking Yeah, but that's just like that's put around forever like yeah, you started out We're not something we're seeing each other. We're talking which means you're probably not actually talking you're texting So it's kind of a half-ess way of connecting and I'd say people I get it though No one's gonna stop doing this but I get that it's the reason why this is all happening minus is because

You know that we're all so afraid of rejection and being, you know, rejected, not loved, abandoned, that just it's so innocent. You're behind your phone. You can just slide and tune and text and whatever ghost on your phone, never have to get hurt. Really. I say take it risk. Everyone feels good to it.

Oh, here's some news. I don't know. It's not really sexual thing, but do you know the average American woman weighs the same amount as the average American man in the 1960s? So we're all getting larger in America. Wow, I did not know that. So I knew that. I think it was like 130 pounds. That's

what the average American man weighed then. Yeah, in the 60s. But now it's 190. Yeah. Way too much processed foods. Way too much sugar, corn syrup, corn, and everything. They're sugar and everything. It's crazy. And America, yeah, definitely. Processed foods. I know. I feel like real like eggs and steak like stick to like good food Right, it's crazy kids. What was the women's weight back then? That I don't know I'll ask 90

Yeah, yeah, probably a hundred pounds, but the yeah, it's crazy when I went to Mexico and all the food wasn't like Process or anything like that is good, right? Yeah. It's like there's no sugar. You can feel crappy after you're eating. It's harder to find that, you know, in life, like you're like so easy to just to run across street and grab like Taco Bell or something. I'm sorry, you left Taco Bell. I love Taco Bell. But the thing is also it's just, I know we're talking about, but it's, I feel, you know,

when I'm actually like working out in healthier, I definitely feel that I want to have a lot more sex. Which is not- It's absolutely true. And when you are healthier all around, feel like, what can I eat? Or I have a low libido. When you are exercising, I mean, it is true. It's biological, it is physiological

that when you eat a food and you're serotonin, you feel good because you just worked out. Like that is going to directly lead into you feeling better about your body and wanting to have sex. So stop eating all the talk about. Alright, so let's get into some emails in a second, but first let's give a shout out to our sponsors because we love my magic wand rechargeable. Oh yeah. Of course, it's from Vibratex and that's a great company. But they also have another great toy to try in 2016. This is the Rabbit Habit Original Deluxe.

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American company that's making pleasure pieces for 30 years go to vibertex.com All right everyone e-bills. Thanks for emailing me feedback at saxoflme.com You can also oh so easy on our website We have an ask Emily button and it and you can just send it right there, write your email, send it to us. I love it. A new feature also, leave us a voice mail message. We'll be playing them on the show,

eight, one, eight, ask SWE1, ask sex with Emily one, or eight, one, eight, two, seven, five, seven, nine, three, one, and as always, you can follow us on all the social Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, yeah, 1, and as always, you can follow us on all the social Snapchat Instagram Twitter. Yeah, social. Okay. Hey, Dr. Emily, I've been happily married for 10 years now and I've enjoyed great sex with my wife.

Recently, we brought up the subject of having a threesome. Either male, female, female or male, female male. It's been hot to talk about and even suggest certain friends we'd like to do with. I know she'd done the two woman and a guy thing before, but one night recently there, recently during one of these talks, she admitted that she'd done a three-way with two guys in a previous relationship. What? With an ex and his best friend multiple times and even a full-on two-couples romp. I'm not a jealous guy and I knew she was more sexually experienced than I was, but this is really getting to me, and it shouldn't.

Love my wife, and in no way of you are differently or in a shameful way, but I can't get the image of my wife being spit-roasted, who cheered her ex and his friend out of my head. Any advice I had to get over this. Oh, man, that is so mental torture. How would you handle this? head. Any advice I had to get over this. Man, that is just mental torture. How would you handle this? I'm a perspective. I love the show.

Love you. You're just damn. I know. You just don't share with guys because guys can't get that in the show. It's so true. Well, okay. Here's what I got to say about that.

In many relationships, your partner, man or woman, man, man, woman, they might actually get off on your path. They'd be like, wow, tell me about that time. You had a threesome, and when we're having a good day, that's hot. So it's not always, but what I recommend is that you before you, no, no, or you just say, hey, do you really want to hear about my past? Like before you,

but then you say yes, but then when you hear it, then you can't get out. That's true. You were running the risk of your partner thinking about all the penises that have been inside your vagina, staring at you, or all the dicks, or all the, what happened?

Here's the thing that I can say to you too. All the vaginas. Thinking about all the nasty shit that you've done in your life that you haven't shared with her, you know? Just think about it. He says he's not as advanced as she is. Yeah, but come on, dude.

There's been a moment in your life that you did something that you don't want to share with her. Right. That's true. And then you're just going to have to go with that when you think about this. Right. Because I know again, once you hear it, you can't ever not think about it. No, you can't get that mental image of his wife's past days when he was out of his head. So you've got to counteract that with some messed up ish that you did back in your... No, because she probably doesn't have the same issue. It's not that.

I just say that you guys should not be having a threesome right now because it started because they want to have a threesome. And I think you guys should kind of, if you really can't get this image on your head then you've got to work at making your sex really hot right now. So, you know, you're fine when it was an image of your wife with an unnamed male and other woman. It's only when the penises and the names were brought into the mix that you're uncomfortable.

So what did that say to you about your brain and the way it works? Like was it too many details for you? Like there's a reason why you're holding onto this and maybe you feel like you won't Compare or maybe you just are like God she had this experience without me. That's why I again like yeah I agree with men as that just air on the side of no details. And in fact, in most of my relationships, I have not shared details. So again, work on making your present life like so hot and explorative and amazing and exciting that that the reality of the sex you're having with your wife now can just completely eclipse whatever she's done in the past that you're obsessing.

You know, you can say, babe, let's get together and make a bucket list. Like let's eat right down five things you want to try this year. I mean, it can be a game. I mean, this can be fun for you guys to like, because it sounds like you're both really adventurous. And you know, keep talking about other things, but I think a threesome right now could trigger

you thinking about the other things and just don't do it. So that's what I suggest for you. Hi, Emily. I just recently listened to your podcast during work. Yeah, IT desk jobs get real slow, and your show gets my mind going. I'm learning so much by the way, thank you.

But to my question, I'm kind of at the start of a new relationship. I say kind of because I've dated this guy before. Twice, this would be round three. We've been very open this time of what we want, whether we actually want each other or if we're lonely, everything. There's a whole other story, but my question is about

sexual health with him. After dating him two years ago, found out I had HPV. I know guys don't show signs, but I was fine at my annual path before dating him monogamously. My HPV is cleared up now, but is there any way I get from them again, help Gail 26 from New Jersey? Okay, Gail, I'm so glad you asked because I think a lot of people have questions about HPV

very confusing, like everyone's HPV is that true. But here's the thing, women can carry the virus for years and have no symptoms, and it shows up on pap smears. So you don't necessarily know that you didn't have it before, even if you had a clean pap before you met, before you started eating them. So don't blame it on them because we don't know for sure. What you do need to do is talk to them about it.

He could see a doctor because he could have gotten it from you over his first. I mean, if he doesn't show signs, you're both 26. I mean, it's true. The HPV vaccine, like you're not supposed to give it to people after 26. Some doctors might, but they say it's only legalized by the drug manufacturers to give the vaccination until you're 26. But you can't pass the same strain back and forth. You could still catch other kinds from each other. So, you know, depending on the kind you had, it could come back. So just get checked regularly, talk to about it, get your pap smears every six months,

and it's not the end of the world, as long as you're staying on top of it, making sure it doesn't advance. Yeah, and then right now, you can get a preventive, preventive, yeah, shot, right? Up until 26, although there are some places where you can get a little older. I mean, it's because the drug company's only approved it for use till you're 26 years

old, but you might be able to get it some places. Yeah, but also I'm just putting that out there for anybody that is younger listening. Go ahead and do it. You have nothing to worry about. Nothing to lose. Nothing to lose. But it's also not the end of the world if you have a HBB. Okay.

Hi, Emily. I'm having a little trouble giving my girlfriend of a year in orgasm. She can give herself off pretty easily when she's on top, despite the fact we really have passionate for playing sex, I just can't seem to give her the big O, either with prolonged oral and massage or penetration. She seems like she's almost there sometimes, but she can't let herself go with it. I've never had this problem with any of my axes. They were able to orgasm with me multiple times during sex.

My current girlfriend has told me she's only orgasmed in a few times from penetration, except for when she's on top. It's driving me insane with front frustration. I'm considering leaving her over it. Despite the fact I love her and want to have a baby with her, but I don't think I can take the feeling of failure much longer or even worse on a permanent basis. Please give me some advice. Thanks, Christopher. Christopher, I'm so glad you emailed because Jesus, this is something like, ah, you love this woman. You want to have a baby with her and you're thinking because she can only have an orgasm on top that

you're not necessarily giving her an orgasm and there's something wrong with your sex life. You are so mistaken here, okay Christopher? Let me tell you this, every woman is dinner, different, dinner. If a genus are like snowflakes, okay? Every woman's gonna orgasm different because all your partners in the past were able to orgasm easily, but let's be honest, some of them may have put it on a show.

I mean, I'm just saying every time they'd multiple orgasms, they need to think different to reach the big O. What do you think, Menace, about orgasms and women? Like, he's not easy. It's not easy. It's not easy. It's not easy. It's not easy.

Not easy at all. Right. But are you going to leave someone because you love them because you can only have an orgasm one way? No. He's thinking he's not in charge. Listen, it is not your job to give her an orgasm. The fact that she can have an orgasm is great,

but like, it's her responsibility. And just like you coming is your responsibility, it's hers. And it sounds like she gets on top, she grinds against your penis, and she has an orgasm. I'm not sure what your problem is with this. Like, you say it's your ego,

and you're feeling like you're failing. I mean, well, have you talked to her about it? She probably doesn't feel like you're failing. You know, I'm just really like the fact that you're thinking like you want to dump this woman, you know, a lot of women can't orgasm from moral sex. A lot of women can't orgasm from figures and a lot of women have one go to position. But it's if you found them when you're with a woman, you twist her around and then I'll be like, boom, boom, she's, you know, I don't know what, she's on all fours and she has an orgasm, but no other way I can't she.

Any woman you're with in the future is gonna need something different, no two women orgasm the same. And if there's a difference between you- Unfortunately we wish as guys that, you know, they could, but they're all different. I know. All different. It's true. So I think that, first of all, I don't know if you've talked to her about it, but like let her know what you're feeling because she'll soon clear in on how much she's enjoying the sex. So I think you're tripping.

Tripping too much in your head here. Tripping son. Tripping, stuff the tripping. Chill. Okay, we got another email. Emily, notice that with my boyfriend and I, orgasm at the same time, which for you, the condom sometimes comes off and stays inside me.

Oh, no. What causes this? And it's something that I should worry about. It's like my vaginal muscle squeezed it off. When this happens, it makes me nervous because it seems like it may be more possible to come pregnant. Is this true? What can I do to prevent from happening?

Thanks, Laura. Tempe, Arizona. Well, no, like, the penis after he orgasms shrinks, it gets smaller. And then he falls out. Yeah. I mean, okay, but wait, wait, you're, yes, it's true. So you've got to pull that condom off right away. And yes, if it's inside you, the, the, the semen can see how you get your pregnant. As a man, I'm going to tell you, like, guys are super into sex. Love it. That's all they're thinking about.

And then the moment they orgasm, they could say goodbye and see you later and go to bed. Two seconds later, they're immediately disinterested. It's actually painful to keep the penis inside of a woman. So like two seconds longer than orgasming. I mean, guys will fight through it. I know guys are so done. Yeah, but they are really done. I turned with, yeah, I didn't want no piece of it.

So, my family's having this image. It's so sad. I just want to roll over a little bit. I know he had this image of every time he has sex with a woman. He's like, I wish that the floor would just come and. Yeah, she's got it. She's trapped door. It dropped door.

But I mean, I want you to come back, but just in the morning, like, drop door, you're gone. I can't. We're just so disturbing, but. But it's the truth in this. But it's because you're an existential, yeah. But it's because you're an existential, yeah. And then it dives and then you want to go to bed.

Immediately, yeah. I get it. Okay, here's a thing to raise. You can can get pregnant if you're not in a birth control. I think there's two thing a few things going on here. He might need a bigger a a different condom either bigger or smaller. It sounds like this condom is not fitting him. I love skin condoms SKY and they have a lot of different condoms sizes, shapes, they feel really good. But let's be clear, it's not coming off just when you have, you know, some of the things orgasms because she's taking what squeezing her muscles and she means she's doing like a cagula around his penis. It's the way he's removing

the condom. So what you have to do is if he's still inside you, he's got a reach in or you can and he grabs like he can reach in and grab the tip of it. You know what I mean? And pull it out like right away. Like at the base, you know, he's like, reached down, hold the conum around the base of his penis while he removes it and he pulls it out. Like right away if this is happening, but I think it could be have to do with the conum brands as well.

And try to just relax your vaginal muscles when this is happening and he pulls it out because yes, you could get pregnant. I don't want that to happen. So, and people think that conums, like they get used to get like really into their brand and their kind. They're just so many different out there now that you got to play around that. But yes, I'm glad you asked this because this condoms falling out. Never, never fun. You probably had condoms fall out. Yes. So not fun. No. Talk about a buzz. I mean,

get a start. Talk about wanting to sleep. It's weird that it happens almost immediately though. And every time. Clearly it's the condom issue. It's the extraction removal. So that's what I've got to say. I have to say for a good 10 minutes before it falls off. What we forget soft again to me? Yeah.

I mean, that software fall off. Right. Right. What? It takes it after you come. Yeah. Yeah. Some guys just right away. Right. Right. Just take it out right away. I mean, I know what it feels good. Like shrinkage. I was in the pool. I don't know. Okay. We got another email. Yeah. Dear Emily, my name is Steven. I'm 26 and I'm from Connecticut. I'm a new listener and love the podcast. It's awesome. I'm also engaged to my beautiful fiance.

Our sex is amazing. We played games and used only cock rings. I would really like for her to listen to your podcast and is educational and always has new and exciting ways to enhance relationships. Well, hello, if you're not already listening, if you are, welcome. My question is to how do I get Ascrito

to listen to your podcast without or taking it as an insult on our sex life? I don't want it to get the impression that I'm unhappy sexually thanks for your time since you're really Steven. That is such a good question. I'm so glad you asked this because Steven, a lot of couples actually do listen

to this show together because I- I'm on trips and stuff. Well, yeah, on a road trip, you're listening to it. And yes, you do, no, Steven, I'm not like saying, like, it's entertaining and it's, you know, sex information and men and women equally listen. And a lot of couples do a hard time like talking about sex so they can listen to it together.

So just say, I would just tell them that you're really into podcasts, they're so fun. And they're just wanting to say, it's so funny. All my friends are talking about this one sex Emily. And I started listening to it and I get turned on and listening to it thinking about you and all these fun things that we could do. Like I know our sex is hot but like let's just listen

to it together next time we're on a road trip or you know you should listen. It's really fun like everyone's talking about it. Boom, it's entertainment, it's a podcast. That's it, not the raving bed sex. To say it's really funny like about relationships And it's I just think we should listen together because yeah, I think that's great Yeah, get turned on. What do you think? What would you say to our men is to get your girlfriend listen to something?

To listen to the podcast player this part right here Say I got really into this podcast is not a perverted sex show You know, it's a sex show for real people, just have conversations and just play her this part right here and say, hey, look, they gave you a shout out and we're talking about it. Yeah, exactly. And I would just say that, tell her that you think it makes you think

like how hot she is and how much you want to have sex with her. And like, it's really fun too. It's all about really what he's emailing in his... Cation. Well, not even discommunication, how to make her more happy. That's all it is. Well, that's the other thing you could say.

That's right, you could also say, I get, say, I'm concerned because what she talks about, you could also say, she talks a lot about, we're getting married. I love you, you're beautiful, we have great sex. And I was listening to this podcast and she was talking about how so many couples get married and they stop having sex and I'm talking about, I'm terrified that

happens because I forget love our sex life, let's listen together. Lots of ways like that. I mean, just, yeah. And if you are in a couple and you're listening like, I'm just, you know, or you're not listening with your partner again, I'm kind of like that third party where maybe you've been wanting to tell your partner something, but you can't. So just have a listen. A lot of couples tell me they're at road trips

and they listen together and just makes me really happy. It makes me really happy. Okay, we can have the email. All right. One more. Do it. Hi, Emily. MJ here.

I'm a 31 year old female North East Florida. All right I've been a swim since April and I love your podcast. Thank you. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years. He has recently been reassigned a job in a city that's four hours away. We used to have sex three to five times a week when he lived in town and now it's only a few times when we see each other on our once a month trips of him coming here or me going there. There was a plan for me to move up with him soon. The past masturbation may, my favorite month, I dabble a little with anal toys. Oh, hey.

I got to begin her set of beads and plugs. What a great time though, dabble and blah, blah, blah. The masturbation may. It's been great, so low fun. Well, no, it was solo, play when she was master reading which I recommend. But then she's opening the back door. Right. She says, my boyfriend, I've had plenty of anal sex and I've loved it. Here's my question. How do I bring it up that I want him to put an anal toy in my butt before during sex? Note, toys are new to us in the bedroom. I have to have my

vibrator in order to orgasm during sex and he's totally found with it. Thanks for your awesome tips, MJ. MJ, he's your man. Okay, I can understand if your guy is like never seen a toy and you wanted to, we've had those many of those emails but your guy's on board. He's already on board with anal sex. So he's found with the anus.

He's fine with using toys to orgasm and you've had great sex. I would just say, hey. Just put it in there. Just be bay. But guess what? Since you've been gone, I've been keeping myself busy. And I can't wait.

Would you put this inside me when we're having sex, dude? He's going to lose his mind. He's not going to judge you or think it's weird at all. I love it. I think like, you know, you're using a toy in the front. You got a booty butt plug in the bid your booty. This sounds like a party. I think he's going to want to put it in for you. I'm really not worried about it. I think that you're overthinking

in your head that this could be the one thing that he's going to be like, no, no butt plugs, but it sounds like he's super open to great sex. I think a majority of men would enjoy that and welcome it. Yeah, but remember you use lots of loop. I think also that your long distance, how awesome that when you are in the long distance relationship, that you can start to get excited for those weekends and plan fun things, I'd say butt plug is a great plan for this Thanksgiving weekend. Called the weekend butt plugs.

I'm not worried about your guy. I mean, seriously be like, babe, I'm on shopping. Look what I got. This is so hard, I used to all masturbating. But in the whole time I was masturbating with this butt plug in my butt, I was thinking about having sex with you and how great that would feel. So would you please put this in my ass? Yeah. Done. MJ. I love you. Love your sex life. Sounds awesome. MJ's great.

Send photos. Send photos to menace of your butt. And we get lots of butt plugs in our site. Check out our store, feedback and sex of menace. No. Yeah, that's what you should do. So that's what we got time for today, yo. Menace. It was great seeing you. I love hearing from the people, all the emails, please keep them coming.

Keep coming, keep messaging. Oh, if you haven't, go to sexoemlee.com and check out the site. It's a fun place to be. It's great. Right. And also our listener who said, how do I get a listener podcast, you could also check out the website too. See if she likes to be. It's great. Right. And also our listener who said, how do I get a list in your podcast, you could also check out the website too. See if she likes to read that maybe a little different.

I don't know what. You'll find it. You'll figure it out. But it is great. And if you love this podcast, it would also great. Share it with a friend. Tell me about it. Everyone would love it.

Most people in the planet need a little bit sex and relationship information because it's constantly getting better. Love you, Mattis. Thank you to my amazing team, Madness and Laurie, Jamie. I love you all. Thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

FeedbackItSex with Emily.com. Okay guys, listen to me. I know some of you tune out every time you hear me talk about chaglacterizes. Well guess what? You're making a mistake. Chaglacterizes are not just for women. Try something for me now guys. Tighten up the muscles you'd use if you wanted to stop the flow of your own. Congratulations! You just did a keg exercise and doing these regularly can make an impact on your sex life.

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Download Kegel Camp from your iPhone today and tell me about your progress at Feedback at SexWithMLA.com. You can get Kegel Camp from the iTunes store by going to SexWithMLA.com and clicking on the Kegel Camp banner. See ya, camp!