Sex With Emily - Overcoming Jealousy

Episode Date: August 27, 2014

Emily shares four important steps for overcoming jealousy. You can get past jealousy in most situations if you can let go of your insecurities. (Unless they really are cheating on you with that young thing down the street).Also…Find out why she’s really moaning during sex. Is it because you’re a sex God? Or is she just faking it? Do shiest people really moan the loudest?Is there a platonic dating site for those who don’t want to get down? What if you just want to ride bikes with someone instead of riding that someone?What do say on your first online dating message (no, “hey baby I want to wear you like a crown” is not a good first message. Nice try).How to deal with body image issues, because you’re fabulous and everyone should know it. Start walking around the house and winking at yourself in the mirror! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Dr. Emily Morse from sexwithemily.com. Do you want to last longer in bed? Promessant is the only FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation. One in three men suffer from premature ejaculation, but they don't have to. Go to promessant.com to give the desensitizing spray that will allow you to have the sex you deserve. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Been through lies. They call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man, he here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got everything. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. So you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships

and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can get all your sex news, information, tips, holes, answers to your questions, all your sexual needs. Well, most of them taken care of at sexwithemily.com. Today's topic is how to overcome jealousy. I know you've probably been jealous before in a relationship or maybe you're with the jealous partner.

We're going to get into all of that of how to deal with it because people get jealous. They do can ruin your relationship. And yeah, that's what we're doing. Hi, menace. What people get jealous they do. Can ruin your relationship. And yeah, that's what we're doing. Hi, Menace, what's up? How you doing? I'm great, how are you?

I'm awesome. But yeah, jealousy is, yeah, happens all the time to all of us, to a lot of us, people are snooping. And there's more reasons are who will come jealous now, right? I mean, every day there's a reason to become jealous if you log onto your person, your dating, or your access Facebook page, and they became friends with some hot chick.

Yeah. There was a funny conversation actually. I don't know what even sparked it, but some people started tweeting me like listeners of my other shows and then friends of mine saying that one of my ex-girlfriends, current boyfriend saying like he's a better man than me and blah blah and all the stuff I never even think about this X-throw friend this guy doesn't even cross my mind right so he's threatened by you well I don't know I don't know because I can't I can't see what most jealousy comes from insecurities I can't see what he's saying

right but anyways I just like blew it off I go that's cool I just kept that's what I kept on responding with I go go, I don't care, whatever. I go, I never think about, I never think about my exes. I only think about the girls that I never took a chance on. I just want to respond to this. And what's just true. Right. And also, something came up where she was talking about,

there was a photograph where her current boyfriend is in, and I'm also in it and she's in it too and I don't know why this is brought up. So I also responded with a guy I don't care about whatever he's saying I go but on the side now I have many photographs of girls that I hooked up with that she's taking pictures with. So I wouldn't be praying that around. I think my town is a little bit higher. Are these who are these people? No, like I was just, he's obviously something that's hitting your ax who's like threatened by you because you're super cool. I guess, I don't know.

I don't even know of the same. I was just wondering if it was just other people that were just building up trying to start out. But I just, I thought it was funny because I, they were trying to rob me up and I just didn't care. Right. Good. But I thought I would share the story anyways. That's a good story to share. We have gotten caught up in jealous things before, typically a lot. Yeah. I don't get jealous, but I've dated people who get jealous because I'm a dad. Well, you're overly flirty. So that's why. I just want to say that. you think I am too you of course

oh man of course in some of these days you they're gonna get pissed off when yeah they get jealous and I'm just a flirt I can't I've been this I hate that I can't help it but really like I I'm naturally in my bones is a flirt I don't even know I'm doing it what's that about we can analyze me if you want but we don don't have to. I'm not a, I'm not a jealous person at all. Like I don't care. Right. And I also'm not going to waste my time worrying and trying to prevent somebody from cheating on me. If you didn't cheat on me, the cheating on me, whatever,

they cheat on me, I find out that they're done. But there's only one thing that annoys me. And I brought this up on the show, which I hate when, and it doesn't matter for it's a girl or a guy, waitress or waiter, I just don't like when I'm at dinner or at a meal, and you're overly talkative. To the waiter or the waitress? I don't want you to be addicted to the waitress or waiter. Right, right.

I want you to respect them. Well, do you think it's because they don't want to talk to you anymore? Why do you think they're talking to you? They're talking to you? They just feel like a tool, a jack-off. When I'm just sitting there saying nothing to you. What do you mean they're talking to the waiter? They're like saying, could you please repeat the daily specials? No, they just get into this whole conversation.

They're like, oh, hey. Do they do that with everyone though? Like the checkout person at the store? I mean, do they talk? No, there would just be like Tissue Waiters You talk No, I like you everyday bringing a point where women should talk

We should vote no no. I don't like women that nag should be vote Nags we drive cars go ahead Okay, you can vote just as long as women dad Yeah, I was doing that. I'm not a nagger. I things you say. I was like I just think you dated women who are psycho Oh, yeah, I guess who nag or jealous to whatever. No, I just Yeah, what's up with you and your filthy mouth lately? I can't help it. It just pops out. Yeah, yeah, I can't help it. I you know, I'm just me man. I'm just being me Keep it real. Yeah, so what's up with you? I'm going out

I have like a million birthday parties to speak and they've all been really fun I think you called me the other night about something and I was about to house having girls over when you're heading out to some party Dreaming some wine. My friend owns this really cool art space Lounge club called project one in San Francisco and it was her birthday and a bunch of us went there. It was a really good crowd. People hadn't seen it in a while, and that was fun. And then I have two birthday parties this weekend, one in Sincin Beach, which is this great beach north of here.

You've been to Sincin Beach, right? No. Never been to Sincin Beach. No. Do you like beaches? I don't go to beaches here because they're too cold. I know, but this beach is cool. You should come. You won't come.

But whatever. Then I have another party in Sonoma with a friend and another friend's birthday party. And yeah, I've just been like, I hanging with friends, working, hanging with a dog, I forget dog park people, man. I've made all these friends, but every day there's like a new dog park person

that comes in there, like my dog is super, super cool. You get some of every dog. And is very friendly and she's a puppy and she plays with everyone, but she's like, your dog's not every dog. Yeah. And is very friendly and she's a puppy and she plays with everyone. But she's like, your dog's still my dog's ball. Like people get angry. Like I was like, there's some reality TV show about like the dog park drama.

Because people are like so obsessed with their dogs. I'm not obsessed with my dog yet. And they fight in the yell and they're like, this woman was like literally yelling. And she's like, your dog's still my dog's ball. And I was like, I'm leaving this place. You people are meeting angry. Yeah, I hated them. I hated the whole thing.

There reminds me of a clip of a woman at a dog park. And I have to, I have to find it. I'll be able to play for you guys. My friend has this really funny porn site, porn site website. He said he called hot chicks picking up dog shit. Yeah. It's really funny and it's just hot chicks picking up dog shit.

It's hilarious. So yeah, I go there are my five and sheels and pick up dog shit. Nice. Yeah, it's fun It's good times. So yeah, and then I Don't know I've got some sex in the news here. I can read unless you've anything else that you're gonna share with me That's gonna change my life right now and it will it just Do you know what sucks? What sucks, dude is that uh on the keyboard here the computer the freaking V. When they did the numbers break on cut the letters break on keyboard like I can't press V which you know we use the word for China a lot. I know what the hell what are you doing this weekend even though it's the only Thursday where it feels like Friday. Tomorrow's free Friday. You

better bring it tomorrow for the show. Yeah I I am. Well, I luckily I'm not leaving. I was going to leave for Los Angeles tomorrow, but I'm not going to do that. That's what it was. Yeah, don't do that. I'm just hanging out. Yeah, I don't really have any plans this weekend, because I'm going to Los Angeles the weekend after for the VMAs. Cool. What are you gonna wear? Can't see suit or something? I guess. I don't know. No, I don't have any fancy clothes. I'll tell you you're shopping.

Not that you don't do a good job yourself. No. And you love shopping. Terrible. I know. Okay. Go ahead. Sex and news. Go ahead.

I love this first one because I really make me think, I think it's true. Do women really make sex noises to help men reach orgasms? Study finds women's sex moments are voluntary, not of reflex or consequence of orgasm. Expert Dr. John Grohal recently wrote about a study published. In the archive of sexual behavior, which found that women's sex noises are not generally a reflex or consequence of orgasm, it rather an effort to help the man reach the finish line. The researchers found that a woman's vocalization is most often occurred around the man's

orgasm just before her simultaneously with ejaculation. So it's true when you make noises, you know that a man's going to ejaculate. It's kind of true as a woman. You kind of know that, but it's funny that it's someone's doing a study on this. Did you know that? That woman's noises get a little get quickened when you're about to orgasm? Did they get louder? They get more vocal. Everyone knows that. But they actually did to study to prove it. It's a disassociation. I need to say, can we like spend it on cancer research

or something? That dude who was here, Billy Sunday, Mars the other day on the show two days ago, if you guys want to check that out, he was saying that if you really rock a woman's world sexually and give her these intense orgasms, she's not going to make a peep. So all the sounds that they're making, I mean, are just for the men's pleasures that they're saying. That's not true, though. There's times that I make noises that are real. I'm not just like making hands on, but we'll get it over with. So it says, yeah, that it clearly demonstrates a disassociation

of the timing of a woman experience. So whatever. So she's making noises to get you, because I know she's done and you're not done yet. We're done. So we're making noises. I just want you to fall asleep after. I get a word.

That's where I want you to shut up. Is that part? I know. Blah, blah, blah, blah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about what just happened right now. Was I vocalizing in an inappropriate time? So what are we? What are we?

Where are we at? And then I go, oh, we're two people that have said sex. That is what we are. Can we talk? I used to have a joke with one of my exes. I's what we are. Can we talk? I used to have a joke with one of Max's I do is be like can we talk because it's such a cliche that girls women say to men. And I was like we really need to talk about us. But I've never said that to a guy ever. Candy Burris is releasing a sex toy line. Who's the candy bird? Exactly. She's from the Real Housewives of Atlanta. I thought you knew television.

Candy. Oh, okay. She's branched out from her online talk show and housewives of Atlanta and started making her own sex storyline. We won't know much about the products in the line until launch party, which is happening sometime in the near future, but lots of people are at animal prints. She was the one that I was her and Dr. Drew said or maybe I'm quoting the wrong person but was bashing her because she was saying that you should put sugar in the vagina. Never put sugar in the vagina. Never put sugar in the vagina. You can use whipped cream, you can use chocolate, you can do all that stuff but leave it on your breasts or leave it on your stomach but do not get it inside the vagina.

It's a very bad bacterial things build up. Don't do that. People should all of this stuff all the time. It's bad. Okay, before you go on to the next thing, I found that clip that I want to share with you. And it's a woman at a dog park. Okay. Okay.

Can you like to do the volumes that we do? Yeah. So smart. I love how smart you are with the technologically. All right. So this thing is about a woman. Probably like yourself that is let her dog just run rampant around the technologically. Alright, so this thing is about a woman probably like yourself that lets her dog just run rampant around the dog park in their noise other people. Even after 10 years of teaching I never know what's gonna happen.

No hold on. Oh my god. Oh and he's gonna be mad. He can have this to the left. In the middle of teaching and I look over my shoulder and there's a strange woman's dog that's attacking a man's leg. I want you to come here for a second. No, no, no, no, no, you come here for a second. This way it gets good. Well, I think I was taking every one of them. This is like my dad parked with all these personalities.

People are like angry. I'm gonna have the dog take him. All he was doing was walking to the park. That's what's wrong. I've had some things happen to this woman's dog before, where I've been out at the park, training my own dogs, and that dog has gotten away from her and has come up after my dogs and myself,

and I just throw myself in my dogs and my car. What if it was one of these? What if it was a child? Oh my God. What if it was a child? I can't find it. What if it was a child? I can't see it. What if it was a child? What if it was a child? I can't see it. What if it was a child? Like what did he steal? He found out the dog.

He found out the dog. I think everybody. I think nobody. I think of the bestie in the dog. Oh my god. He's giving me a girl out for right now. I'm gonna give it to him. So let me write down real quick what's happened. Yeah, you have to and then it's gonna get awesome Okay, so what happened was is

There's a dog park and there's a bunch of people at the dog park and This woman's dog gets loose and the dog bites So there was this man that was walking by the park and the dog ran up and bit the man. So now the man is upset and then there's a bunch of children out there and then so he starts pointing at the children and he goes, what about if it was one of these? What about if it was one of these? And now this woman this woman is about to go ballistic and share pretty funny story. Okay. So here you go. To dog has some serious aggression problems. And just because a dog is small does a thing that it can't hurt. For many days, I didn't bring them here because I saw for when he bites me. When I'm in my vagina, when I'm walking and he sees all the dogs, he's right away.

He jumps on my vagina because he gets so crazy. He fights by the vagina. Oh my God. And he fights the labrador and his penis. I don't want him to fight the ador and the penis. He fights the dead. What's the law? Law enforcement. It would be Vian It's beautiful. One person I mean.

It would be Van Aizel IPD. Van Aizel IPD. There. You get the point though. But this one is crazy. So you should get rid of that dog. You should go on YouTube. If you want to watch the whole thing, it's hilarious

where she just goes on and on how the dog bites or in the vagina and bites other dogs and the penis. That's hilarious. So is that what your dog is doing? No, my dog is awesome. My dog is like, the people tell me that they're like, when's Daisy coming back? When's Daisy coming back?

Cause Daisy exhausts all the other dogs cause she has more energy than any dog. It's cool. So when are you going to give Daisy to one of those people? When are we going to give her up? Yeah. I've got a few more weeks to decide. Thanks for asking.

I don't want to give her up. I would feel like honestly, the dog is such a, it's such a personal thing, like I feel, would feel like a failure. So just to prove everybody wrong, you can do it with the other. No, I'm not that stupid either. I just feel like I should be able to,

as a grown woman, have a dog. I like dogs and figure it out, but I'm also insanely busy, and I have a lot lot going on that it might not be the best time. Yes. Rice fun. This is perfectly. So I'm trying to figure it out. It's a good way to get out of it.

But it's like, she's a lover. Did you put your face? Okay. A dating site for lovers who can't have or don't want sex. Imagine that. Sex. A dating site without but not about getting laid. Love relationships in romance satisfies and need many of us that is as strong if not stronger than our sex drive. Unfortunately, when a person is unable to have sex for whatever reason, this often disqualifies

them from enjoying the romance and companionship that makes up 99% of a healthy relationship. To address this problem, to dateforlove.com was launched by a woman with the intention of connecting singles who are looking for love without sex. It enables people who can engage in intercourse or experienced love and intimacy and all that. You can upload photos, blah, blah, blah. So for whatever reason, if you don't want to have sex, or you don't want it to be all about sex, to date for love. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. That sounds familiar. reason if you don't want to have sex so you don't want it to be all about sex to date for love.

Sounds fun. There's dating sites for every friggin thing and every friggin person. I was just talking on the phone last night. I mean like really with my buddy. Yeah. I share the story where he's been one of my long time friends. Right. And then he started, last time he hung out he shared with me and he's like yeah I started dating chicks off Craigslist.

And then he's had a couple bad experiences of course as you would if you either hook it up, be one person. People don't say to hook up on Craigslist anymore that you still. But now he's on a dating website. I forgot which one he told me, but he said, who were trying to break it down, he already has a date with somebody. Okay, good. So he was asking me about places in the city, what he should do and should we meet up or should I pick her up?

And I go, well, did you already go on a date with her once before? And he's like, yes, I go, well, but you gotta go pick her up. Even though it's like really all the way. Right. I go, go pick her up and go out on your date. But then he was telling me that whatever the dating website is, it recommends a new person every day with your criteria.

This is why no one's committing. Yeah. And what happened was we're trying to break down and trying to figure out why, but he keeps on getting connected with little people. Oh. And he doesn't know like nothing that he doesn't have anything against little people, but he's just trying to tell. He is not little. He is a very large man okay he's yeah he's he's

six foot way tall and okay that's odd bigger than me and he's like a linebacker like he'll oh okay little bit like real people like like little people like for 10 9 no for no it's like for eight four seven and then he's like he's trying to figure out where's the glitch there's not a glitch but he just think maybe they're maybe they're maybe I don't know how it works but maybe they're criteria that's what they like is like what his description is so we're trying to figure out, you know, how is yeah Scientific study to be there like why is he so similar to what little people want what he wants Yeah, when he's a very large person when he's like that is very interesting. Yeah, we gotta break that down I know I need to get some detectives on that or something. We got a calm up on the sky calm in the sky man

That's interesting. I should we should all data online just for better content better improved new daily content for me. Yes to go on dates I know I've just never I'm the only person I know isn't done it because everyone else I know is on it you've done it It's all right. Oh through the social network right, but I can ask out on Facebook a lot But I don't know the attention. I don't know what those people are all right not that you're not my friend if we're on Facebook Because we're friends. Okay. We've got some emails. Okay, what do you got? Some topics on today's show include what to say on your first online dating message, which might be what your friends says something that I wonder what he says. What is the initial? Kagle exercises, menopause and sex and body image. And then later we're going to be talking about jealousy and how to overcome it because you really can. You can. You can.

You can. There's some people that are just insane. I know, but I've learned to overcome it. I'm not a typically jealous person, but when I find myself having jealous thoughts and I'm going to get into this more, you really can, like, just change your thought patterns and to not go into that negative place. I'm going to keep on talking, but can you turn on the fan? It's going to be hot.

Oh, yeah, yeah. And another thing is with me on the social networking, if I'm going to on talking but can you turn on the fan? It's Ken Han. Oh yeah. Yeah Another thing is with me on the social networking if I'm gonna ask them me out like my conversations will be so short Right because I'm not a writer right so it would just be like oh, yeah. Oh cool. Let's let's go hang out So like the hanging out part would happen super fast right because I'm not gonna sit there right right like I'm better in person Yeah, I'm so much better in person writing Not my thing. I know. Well actually we're having a all the English language are the English language Yeah, I'm better than you give yourself credit for I'm terrible go ahead No, we're actually having I don't know when the show's gonna air but we have an expert He's an online dating expert names Evan Mark Katz

He's gonna be on the show this Friday, but we're doing it later in the day We're gonna play in a few weeks But because you can only come up from the light at a certain time, but he, it's amazing what he does. He's a dating coach, and he profiles, he helps people write their online dating profiles. So for example, someone can go to and be like, I've had this up on match.com for three months. I've got nothing. No hits, no interest, no one wants to date me.

And then like, he'll come in and be like, did it, did it, did it, did it change the whole thing? It's like marketing. And then he gets like this person like, I'm got nothing. No hits, no interest, no one wants to date me and then like, he'll come in. I'm like, did it, did it, did it change the whole thing? It's like marketing. And then he gets like this person like, like, I'm not. Or he helps him individually dating. Yeah. Yeah. So he's going to be interesting. That's good. You like them. Okay. Word up, Emily, I just recently signed up with okay, Cupid to give this online dating thing a try. That's so funny. We were just talking about this. Being that I am a newbie, I'm not up at all the rules and hidden rules. My question is, would it be cool to tell a girl she's cute in the first message? And is there any tips on what girls want to see in the first message? Thanks. Stan from Costa Mesa, he's a premium friends with benefits member. And if you're a friends with benefits member,

you get your emails answered right away. We answer your questions. PS, read this I would have sent a message to the school to call my eye I'm really interested in just seeing if the message I sent was the right one. So he wasn't way in for us to get back He was right here. I would say Yeah, I never I never do but I don't know I'm As a woman I mean, I think you could say that she's cute in the first message, but I would really focus on like for interest and show that you really read her page. And maybe you have like a similar interest or something that you can talk about.

Because for example, like I just posted on credit, let me just totally separate thing, but it's like you want to know that the guy has read your profile and isn't just like hot chick, hot your hot, let's go out. Because then the girl feels like the woman feels like, I spent all this time on my profile, you didn't even read it, you're just looking at my face. We just probably what most guys do anyway, okay?

But try to pretend that that's not what you did. Yeah, you look deeper. Just look deeper. I'm gonna trust. Wow, I noticed that you like the Appalachians, that sound must have been amazing. I was gonna do that. It's amazing, you're doing something.

You're doing something. Yeah, and then your titties look hot. No, don't say that. But I would say that I would focus more about that and ask her a question. Like try to find a question about something specific on her page, try to come up with something funny. And you could say I found your profile attractive or something. But I wouldn't leave with your hottie because she's hearing that you're believe me. You're not the only guy who is sending her that message.

That's why I've saved that. So we don't want to hear that right away because we already know that. I know I am and I never tell girls that they're cute. No, don't do that. Which I don't recommend either because you should tell her 10 times a day. Yeah, right. What else we can say? There was something else that I just texted my friend to see if we can call him. He might be. Oh, by this little people debacle. No, not that. I want to see What kind of conversation he has when he's messaging with these people that would be great To get them interested to go out totally

I mean, and I think that's what this like dating coach focuses on is that there are right and wrong ways to oh this I was gonna say so for example like I was looking for new interns, right? So I posted in Craigslist and I said very specifically in the in the thing I'm like, okay, please some of your resume. Please send me this that Some people just like here's my resume like they don't even read the job profile, they don't even read the job description, and I'm like, delete, like you didn't even read it, you didn't send me what I asked for, you didn't send your resume, you didn't send a cover letter, and I deleted those people.

I think that people do that when they're dating too, when they're online, and they're like, this person didn't obviously didn't read my profile, he just thinks it's cute, delete. That's what I would do. Okay. Obviously, you didn't read my profile. He just thinks I'm cute, delete. That's what I would do. Okay. I just wanna thank you for developing this app. She's talking about my Kegel campaign. My boyfriend and I both use it for Kegels regularly and I must say that our sex life has never been better.

I did not write this, this is true. The feeling of a challenge and different levels have helped me to be successful in doing Kegels with this app. Will there ever be any additional levels in the future? I think a few more levels will be great. Thanks again, Alicia. Alicia, thank you so much. That's awesome.

We have to up the levels. Yeah, we've all be updated a few times and we're gonna do another update. And I forward this to my engineers, so hopefully we can do that. But just if you don't know this, I have an app called kegelcamp that you can download.

I tune store and keggle is really the most important sector size that you are not doing and that you need to be doing and Alicia to set it improve their sex life. They're doing it together. How cute you and your boyfriend can do the little Kaggle together. Do you have a friend that we can call about online About online dating. Don't you have friends that do that? Tone Uh, text them say we're gonna call them because I want to see a girl because then we can see what does a guy say? They get you to go out with them Who could I text right now? Let's take a line. Hold on hold on.

Okay, I know I know I know I'm called a wrong mistake. You're filthy mouth friends? Yes, it's my filthy mouth friend. I just called her by mistake. Oh, he said sure. Okay, I'm going to call him first. I'm tall. Okay, this is going to be good.

I love this guy. He's one of my favorites. Go ahead and keep talking while I. Oh, you want me to talk? Yeah. Okay, dear Emily, well, I'm just kidding. Okay, so this is hilarious. Okay. Dear Emily, are you going to start another question? Yeah. OK, dear Emily, well, I'm just kidding. OK, so this is hilarious. OK.

Dear Emily, are we going to start another question? Dear Emily, my wife and I have been together almost 25 years. We love each other to death. She is going through menopause, and that as meant that sex may only happen once or twice a year. I have a very hard time in my mind dealing with it, and she has had a very hard time talking about it. What can we do to allow us to continue the much needed special moments together? Love your show. Menace is a slut.

Yeah right. Seriously. Didn't say that. It does. Look. Mark from Ontario Canada. How's Mark from Ontario Canada? I think she's slut. How? I don't know. Maybe it's an old rainbow. You used to be a slut. I love him. What? Can you hear me? Let's go on. So coincidentally Here on the sex with Emily show we started talking about online dating and you and I just have a conversation yesterday About online baby and the part of online dating that we want to know is, what do you even say to a girl that you want to talk to? What's the first initial email?

What do you say? It matters how, you know, like you can check out Craigslist or be talking about, you know, like I could teach you something like that. If I'm doing off a Craigslist, I'll probably base based on what they posted on cringes. I'm going to go, I have this similar interest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The same thing you can do is, you can kind of like, oh, you're looking for a guy who has these qualities.

Oh, you have these type of qualities. Oh, you have these type of similarities. Oh, I do too. And you have to ask of qualities. Oh, you have these type of similarities. Oh, I do too. And Yadda, I asked you questions. You know, well, what do you do? Or, you know, you like alternative musical kind of bands, you like, and stuff like that. That's good. I got a buddy. So you don't say like nice rack or anything. I love your titties. You don't say like I like your techs. I mean, if you see a picture of the balance, it's good. No, you said, I'm glad you don't send a picture of your penis

until her nights are rack is that would be bad. Do you do you ask her to rate her blow jobs on a scale of one to ten? No, you sound like a good guy. You do handle it well because we just had a guy ask like should I tell this girl she's hot. I'm like every guy is emailing her and telling her she's hot. You don't tell her she's hot. Pay attention to we want to feel like we are heard as women. When you read our profile you took the time. You're not just like hot chick. I want to go out. So you sound like a good guy. How's the online dating going for you? Okay. I mean, I mean, a few people here and there go on some dates. What? Does she have a date? That's good. Tonight or this weekend?

Do you have a date? Tonight or this weekend? Last Sunday, this weekend. Sunday. Wow, what kind of guy? Okay, so are you excited? Oh, yeah, most of the time. Did you plan the day? I was the girl once before the prior, so, you know.

Did you make out with her on the first date? Sure, you did, you made out on the first date? Made out on the first date, yeah. Did you do other stuff on the first date? Did you touch your boobs? Did Uncle Last Farm. Good. You know we kind of met in the street on the sand.

Okay. You can't talk over them on the internet. I can tell you how to tell you live on the show. No, that's fine. I kind of assume, but you know, that's all good. No, no, no. Go ahead. You can ask me a question. No, I feel not. I feel quieted. I'm sure I feel shushed. No, I'm just saying you have the way for me to find. Okay, so, okay. What is so this girl? So what you found her on Craigslist?

No, no, I'm not getting serious. Okay. Another outline dating site. And what was it that matter profile that you like? Was it a picture? I know you thought she was happy. I was like, what it was or something, she said. We're trying to give people advice about writing online, dating profiles. As there's certain things that a woman says that catches you, can you think of a phrase or something that was like, oh wow, she seems like a cool chick.

Or conversely, the things that they say that you're like, whoa, run for your life. Like she has 10 cats. And one of the things that we're in there, and you can be honest, is it the first thing, the kind of, the photo kind of catches you can be honest, is it the first thing, the photo kind of catches you a little bit, right? Well, she might be a missile catch, you know what I mean?

Because it's kind of, you know, when you first search somebody online typically, it's going to be just a quick contact information like their photo, their location, and how old they are. So it's kind of, well, if the bat is coming to your judge, it's going to be going to click on this profile to see this person further. So right off the bat, yeah, you have to at least see this person. If you know, this person kind of, something I could be into, and then if yes, then click on the picture and kind of see the different, you know, text on the profile and everything. Different, you know, signs that might be good. Just similar interests, you know, I'm a type of person, you know,

I don't want any drama or anything like that so I kind of want something that's similar to me or least interest that like hey me my friends we do these type of things I want to go on days and do these type of things and this person has those type of things I'm into. Anything that's kind of that would scare away or just, you know. Right, right, right, you just kind of run. Oh, there's a little mark. The decisive list maybe, what kind of like, you know, maybe it's what you're looking for.

You know, if it's kind of like, oh, I just got out of relationship, I'm just kind of looking for one thing you like. You kind of know if you get into this, you might be in some decisive list or you might be that rebound type of person. Which, you know, if you're in hope into that, that's fine some in the size of this or you might be that now rebound type of person which you know if you're open to that that's fine but I'm kind of you know okay so good but I'm getting online that's good I'm thinking about doing it myself that's not my list of things to do I think

that's good that you're doing it I love these shared stories thank you very much good luck can you call us back and let us know if you touch our boobs on Sunday no pressure you don't let us know if you touch our boobs on Sunday? No, pressure. You don't let us know. I just want you to have a good time. It's not about sex. Okay. I have some some warning signs. What? What the online? What's the warning signs? Chicks that you do not want to talk to. Okay. Here you go. Go. And then all starts with their main image. And he checked that has a main image of a of scenery. Okay. Sunset or anything like that. And he checked that has pets in their main photograph. Okay.

And he checked that only has one or two photographs. Right. And they're all waste up. And they're all waste up. And they're all waste up. Or no, but if they only have one or two photographs, it's most likely I would say 99.9% not them. Because why do you only have two photographs of you? Well, how much do they take to post? So the photos.

You can post thousands of photos there if you want to. Oh. Well, it's not legit. And the other one to look out for is the group photos. When there's a large group photos, and you look through it and it's all group photos. Right. What does that mean?

She doesn't think she's the least attractive one at a, just look for the least attractive one out of the group photo. Oh, menace. And that's the person's profile. It's science. It's science, scientific, really. Okay. It's a scientific study. I don't know what to check that out. But like her being in

unattractive pictures of yourself. I mean of you in a group if you're trying to get someone's attention. Yeah. And then you know what? I mean, I hate the guys with a drink and a beer. Oh, one of those like cookies on it, a cat. I don't want to date you. No pressure, no events. I mean no no no no events. So okay. Cool.

All right. This is with the letter that you, oh your friends off the phone, right? Okay. So my wife and I, this is I'm going to read this again or sum it up again. 25 years we love each other to death. She's going through menopause and sex only happens twice a year. and he's got a really hard time dealing with it in his mind and she's got a hard time talking about it and what can they do and he loves to show and menace is a slut. I don't know why you think she's a slut. I don't know either.

The loss of estrogen following menopause can lead to changes in women's sexual drive and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can purchase at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can use at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can use at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can use at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can use at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can use at Adam and Eve.

You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can purchase at Adam and Eve. You can use a water-based lubricant like Astroglyde, which you can really try to take a warm bath, relax and use lubricants. You can use a water-based lubricant like astroglyde, which you can purchase at Adam and Eve. You can get anything at Adam and Eve.com for 50% off, most items, plus three adult DVDs in a free gift, if you use coupon code Emily checkout. So I think Loub is great for a lot of sexual situations people are having because she probably is more dry. And if the sex drive isn't what it once was, you don't think you need counseling. You should just try to take some time

to have intimacy with your partner and rebuild the intimacy. It doesn't mean that you have to have intercourse. Maybe there's ways you can take intercourse off the table and start connecting in other ways because I have a feeling that it's not just about the sex that you're not connecting, but there might be other ways in your relationship that

you're not quite connecting and that you might need to go back and repair whatever's happened. Maybe you guys have got some issues with each other. You've been together a long time and there's ways to get in there with the issues or whatever issues you have and heal them. First, what? I'm sorry I always go to the alcohol but maybe she needs to loosen up a little bit. Take the stick out of her ass She's going through menopause dude. It happens. Yeah, maybe you know Sue's menopause with you know some alcohol

It's a little bit in the life. Thank you. Or maybe some you know you you recommend some wacko drugs like what is that? No, not lubricant, but that lubricate doesn't get you in the mindset That's why I wish I could just pop up a bag. That's why, you know, I'd be a morning dog all the time. All the time just banging. No, you need something to help her to get in the mindset. Exactly. You've got to get her in the mindset.

I mean, that is the thing is that so many times women don't want sex. Like, yes, she's going through my iPads. She's greater challenges now because her sex drive literally is has taken a note a nose dive but for women the brain is a larger sex organ she does need to be warmed up you do need to do things to set that intimacy to set that romantic mood just because you come in and you have a boner does not mean that she's ready to go and it's kind of a bummer for you but she's gonna need more time warming up you might need to romance her you might need to plan a special weekend away. There are ways to get it back.

And on a side note, I got tweeted by Marilyn, who's a listener in Arizona right now. Okay. And she said that she totally agrees with me on the profile picks online. Oh, cats, the scenery, the group photos. hilarious. Yes. So I'm in tune. I know the scientific. You do know.

So if I do data online, you'll help me to shape my profile. Yes, I will. Okay. Emily, I'm glad to say I'm back from Baghdad, all in one piece. I'm getting caught up in the podcast because I've missed the last few.

I'm writing tag on my sexual pet peeve. I can't tell you how much of a mood killer it is to have a woman after we're both naked and about to make love instantly become self-conscious. When we're both naked, it's absolutely the wrong time to lose all of our confidence. I don't care at one bit if she's 10 pounds away from her to I do wait. I'm no personal trainer. I'm just trying to share an orgasm or two or three with her. If that's not enough to at least temporarily remove those insecurities, then it's a major buzzkill and I'm not as intense as I once was. What I'm saying, what I'm saying is she's got to see what's in front of her and what she's got as a man who wants to be with her, all parts of her, even the flawed parts. As always, keep the good work in her

remember, go Navy, Jamal. Hell yeah, Jamal. Preach. Dude, it is so true. One of the biggest issues that women have, sexually, across the board, is with low self-esteem and insecurities about body and body image. And I think that if you're a woman

and you're experiencing like issues, sexually, you're not connecting with men. A lot of it has to do with your body image issues. And there are ways to get past it maybe you need some therapy read some good books on it guide and I'll just so many of them but really just like start loving your body start working out if you don't feel good about your body like make yourself go to the gym like go once a week like that will make you feel better there are things to eat healthier I know it's easier said

than done and you've heard this a million times but truly if it's wreaking havoc on your sex life and you're having problems and you should start to take because no matter how many times a guy tells you like you're so attractive and you're so hot and I don't care if you gain 10 pounds or whatever, no one's gonna believe it until they deal with it on their own. Yeah, and then I also should say, hey, you see my dick right now? Is it not erect? Does it not like what it's seeing? Well, women feel like... So she ought up.

I know, I know. It's a bad time. It's a bad time. So when should she ask you for Aslaq's fat and the jeans? Not when you guys are going to address during sex. Well, you should never ask that. Never ask that. I'm just kidding, but you know that joke.

You can ask the fat and the jeans. Yes, they look totally fat. Fuck you. Okay, so yeah, insecurity. Fuck you, I don't know. Um, okay, so yeah, insecurity is huge. I mean, I think we've done shows on that body image of just women, but that really is like, the reason why women can't orgasm, the reason why men aren't enjoying sex sometimes, the reason why women don't want to get on top of a man is because they feel like they look. They're over-analysing everything.

I know, guys are just like, I'm psyched, there's some boobs bouncing up and down and down. Okay, I'm 45 in good health and I have the problem of too much stamina. So much so that often after a vigorous week in my girlfriend needs a couple days off, I'm sexed to rest because her vagina is sore. My girlfriend isn't complaining, I'm just saying, as she often says, I'm not bragging because it isn't as fun as some I think. When I say stamina, I mean, an hour longer of a full on heart on an active sexy entire time. We move through many positions, oral, vaginal, and she even tried anal a time or two

and helps her bring me over the edge. It is so bad that I often do not organize it myself and it isn't from the lack of trying or any lack of enthusiasm for my girlfriend. I've had several partners over the last over the years and this is this one is the only one so far that can stay with me the longest thought tapping out so to speak. So anything I can do to encourage an orgasm on demand, how do porn stars do it for the camera all the time? You're the best sincerely, Paul from Heartless Bird Connecticut. Well, there are theories of delayed ejaculation and they

suggest that it's cause a fear of loss of control, hastily and anger and too much reliance on fantasy during sex to get aroused. It can also be some, maybe there's ways that you have your body trained during masturbation and you just can't with a woman, there could be some earlier things from childhood, some deeper things going on here. Also, the problem can be caused by a man learning to masturbate in a particular way, which cripples his ability to reach orgasm through normal stimulation. So, again, it has to do with the way you masturbate. But there's got to be ways that you could work with her maybe because that's on the hour every time full on hard on like we don't all want sex for an hour every time.

We just don't. Who is time? I have to walk my dog. You know how you say women once they think about it it's gone. With men, I mean, you just kind of think about it the entire time just think about it. Think about the orgasm. Yeah. What do you mean? Think about how do you think about it? Thinking about orgasm. You're like orgasm or has them. That'd be awesome. Yeah. And just think, you know, how awesome would feel and all that stuff. Then it will happen. We're different that way. It's not working for them. So there might be some other underlying issues. But yeah, just think about your orgasm.

Been breathed a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Sounds good. Okay, should we get into our, um, I think we should get into our topic of the day, which is jealousy. What? Okay. What are you looking at me for? Nothing.

I'm a little tired today. I'm too. Yeah, go ahead. We should, we should, we forgot the alcohol the alcohol like we need some kind of like offers or something I have a red bull back in my other office I wish you brought me on sorry okay so jealousy let me just say this a lot of things about jealousy jealousy comes up with every relationship whether you're in a monogamous relationship or you're in an open relationship or you're a singer or you're

whatever jealousy is gonna happen at some point in a relationship. It just happens. And usually jealousy is a byproduct of someone's insecurity. Because we feel threatened, this girl's hotter, she's with someone who's better than I am, her new boyfriend is a football player or whatever I'm jealous. So while everyone gets jealous or suspicious, experiencing jealousy on a daily basis

is a problem. So if you're with someone who is really jealous all the time, like I've dated guys like that who were like super jealous and I wasn't even okay, yes, I'm a flirt we established that early on, but there are people I've dated that are like you were funny with the waiter. I saw it. I'm like I was ordering like my chicken like I wasn't you'd probably didn't have 30 way. I literally wasn't. I'm willing to say I wasn't fighting, but it was like a dis- it was like disassociation.

And I think a lot of times people have issues with mistrust and jealousy when they come from homes, from alcoholic backgrounds, or from parents who are distrustful, it's true. Like parents, let's say you come from family of alcoholic parents. A lot of times it builds, you don't have trust in people because everything your parents said, for example, we're like, oh, for sure we're gonna show up

at your first birthday party and then they're wasting on the couch and then you feel like you constantly distrust people. So a lot of the issues that people have in relationships are on trust, don't even have to do with the person's behavior. So dating like me, if you're someone you already as a problem with Kelsey and you need to be like me, if you're someone who already has a problem with

Delsi and you need to be like me who's a big flirt, you might have a problem. But a lot of it is like predisposed, okay? So according to the US Department of Justice, 49% of nearly 3.5 million violent crimes committed against family members were committed because of spouses due to jealousy. It's become a problem one-third of couples seeking marital therapy today, and 44% admit trust issues have put a big dent in their marriage.

So 70% say, you'd be jealous if your husband had a close, botanic female friend. 53% of people say they secretly check his phone messages and emails. 53% of women flirt to make their man jealous. Maybe women think flirting is innocent and fun, but it's a way of testing your husband's love

but ask yourself as it contributing to the problems. So again, why do we get jealous? It may be because our partner was unfaithful, something that our past girlfriend or boyfriend was jealous, but it's just there with you and we have the jealousy. I thought you said that you don't get jealous. I don't get jealous but I have gotten jealous in the past. What made you jealous? I'll tell you it's interesting that you talk about that because I

think that when a person like I never get jealous I think we all have an in us to experience a range of emotions. You can someone can make you jealous so I did a guy who brought out my jealousy in me, but it wasn't, I wasn't jealous the first year we were dating. But after that, because of like some like he was with some chick, we were broke. I don't know. He lied to me about something and he was with this girl. He sort of cheated on me, but not really, because we were kind of broken up. Long story short I instantly

distrusted him like everything he did I was like he says going to the drugstore but he's really probably going to meet that girl in the corner like crazy thoughts going your head you become obsessive and jealous and from one thing from one little thing that he did. So I think like I have in me because I saw that but typically I'm not looking for it I come from from a trustworthy family. My background's pretty healthy. I don't have a history of men cheating on me. And I'm pretty confident, person, in many ways,

that I feel like, if a guy's with me, why would he want to lie and be with anyone else? No, he would. Yeah. I do believe that. On the best. So when jealousy does strike, it's often because people are insecure. They feel like they're not good enough. A lot of times they compare themselves to their rival. So, for example,

like if we were dating, I'd be like, or like if I found out, like, for example, whenever you find like an accident, someone, we always assume she's like some tall hot. No, but you guys always talk crap about her all the time. Yeah, but we make the assumptions our brain goes to like the worst possible place You know they feel threatened they imagine the worst case scenario that our partner might leave us for someone else And so not not only Chelsea unpleasant but individuals who are chronically jealous or suspicious often misinterpret what's going on So they create stories in their mind Like you don't even become so like self-perpet thing, like you get a little jealous and you're like, he always goes, you know, he never drinks too cups of coffee, like he must've been up late, like whatever those crazy thoughts you have for exactly,

you know. Being with a jealous person is difficult because highly as a specialist partner can be over-controlling, needy, and invasive, invasive. So there's some dip, yeah, have you been with jealous chicks, right? Yeah right yeah and like what do you do I? Just kind of blow it off because there's no reasoning with those right it's not like you're really doing anything wrong and if it gets overbearing then it's like Just kind of loose right Okay, I'll offer some specific advice here. Okay, so for dealing with Chelsea in four steps, four steps, still Chelsea.

Okay. Talk about your insecurities. So this is the hardest part. Because if you're a jealous person, you want to be like, no, it's you, it's you, you're constantly blaming someone, but you have to be like, you know what? I'm a little insecure about it.

I've got issues. I'm afraid you're gonna leave me. I'm afraid that every time you walk out that door and you just talk about it and you bring some light. No one ever does that, that's a shame. That needs to be like, and this is the concept that I think people need to talk about before they get married too.

I mean, like, I'm jealous, I get jealous. It might make, I might be threatened if you all of a sudden become BFF with a coworker and you start texting or late at night or whatever, even if it's not sexual, but we might become jealous. So, why? I don't know if I get jealous, but I do get annoyed. I do get annoyed sometimes.

You do get annoyed with why? I'll be upset. Like why are you doing that? It's not like I'm jealous, like I'm mad in that way, but I just get annoyed. I'm like, why are you even doing that? Right, right, right, exactly. So as a general when talking about jealousy, it helps to focus on your feelings and not your partner's behavior.

So you don't want to say like, you did this do that but it's like no this is how I feel when you do something like that because sometimes their behavior can be inappropriate right if they're flirting with the coworker or whatever. So another thing about interpreting about jealousy is that you can learn to interpret things differently. So if I'm in a relationship with someone and I interpret that every time he's working late in my mind he's sleeping with someone or whatever, you can change your thought patterns. So it's trying to think about the events that make you

suspicious and you think about them differently. So for instance, if a husband or wife with a girlfriend does not answer the phone right away, we can be thinking like, oh my god, he's outboning some check. But you can also think like, maybe they're phone died, maybe they don't have the charger. I mean, it is true.

Like you can switch those thoughts in your head because you're going to make yourself a little crazy, right? You just got to like, because people who are very jealous, they jump to the worst case scenario. Always. What? No, they do. And then they go to the extremes where they, you know, follow you. They hire a spy, right?

But the best part is when the TV show cheaters, when they are cheating. Well, that's a thing. I mean, your partner might be cheating too. So we're gonna get into that. Well, a lot of stuff, yeah. I mean, a lot of suspicion comes from a true place too, sometimes.

Well, then then we get into the whole, how do you get more information? Like, if you tried to interpret things differently and you tried to talk to your partner, you're very delicy and that's still not working, you gotta get more information. So do you get more information? Like if you tried to interpret things differently and you try to talk to your partner, you're very delicy and that's still not working, you gotta get more information. So do you snoop? Okay, so when you do snoop though,

and you don't find anything, that's when you need to drop it though. You do need to drop it. So you keep it going, then you're gonna destroy the relationship. So you can snoop, I guess, if you have to, but that's what it's gonna take to, you know, make everything fun.

But often this suspicion is fueled by a lack of information. So you don't have enough information so you're suspicious. So if you do need to do some stuff, but if you find, if you look and you just set a time limit on it and you look and you don't find anything, then move on. It's your own issue, right? So I mean, when you're looking for it, so the thing is like, okay, so the whole thing is about snooping. If you do think it's right for people to like I feel like

In a way, it's good to look for information, but also you're always gonna find something like there's always gonna be some ambiguous weird XX Oh, 30 texts from someone don't you think? You're looking at the phone if you're looking at your phone. Yeah, sure. I don't want anyone ever looking at my phone That's why I delete the lead to you, delete. You delete all your texts? Yeah, I'll time. No more time. Hi, because you girls looking at your phone? No, I don't even know whoever will look at my phone.

If you lose it, like I do. OK, asking a lot of invasive questions is usually not a good way to go up but discovering the truth. If someone is trying to hide something from you, they usually aren't going to go going up to an immediately. So you do resort to snooping, but there are ethical issues, but if you don't discover anything by a certain time, you just gotta let it go. So how do you deal with this jealous lover that you have?

Okay. You got to deal with your fears and anxieties through communication. It's the same thing. It's not a lot of times, you tell me like, when I've been with jealous men, and I recently, I was last year when I was dating that crazy guy who's car crashed by mistake, he was so jealous about things that were just unfounded. I know that I can be a flirt, but he was making up stories, and every time I was out, I was like, I'm sorry, I was at Whole Foods. I don't know, you were out.

The people who are obsessively jealous. How do you deal with it? I think they're really hard people to deal with, and they've got a lot of issues. And if you're willing to sit with this person and go to therapy and figure it out, but someone who's like obsessively jealous and is unfounded, it's problem. So don't want to dismiss or just count their feelings.

You want to work them on it, but you want them to get to the bottom of their feelings and not keep blaming you. Yeah. Yeah. It's a really hard deal with really hard. You've had that. Yeah. Yeah.

You just got to, yeah, again, cut it off or go to therapy and try to work it out with them. You do. I mean, you really do. And maybe someone cheated recently or their past partner cheated. I mean, again, a lot of it is just like deep underlying issues. But I think that one of the key things is to really interpret things definitely like in your mind. If you are the one who's experiencing jealousy and you feel like, I'm sort of obsessed with this jealousy. I've sort of feel like it's taking my life and I'm thinking about too much about stuff. You can, like I've had to do that like dating, several dating, several people now, for example, not being in a monogamous relationship.

You can, there are things that can happen that I can be like, oh he's out with so-and-so, like I'm out with so-and-so, but I can think, I can think of a mind and go to the worst place and just think like not really think about it and just be like, I'm, oh, he's out with someone. So like, I'm out with someone. But I can think, I can think of him. I can go to the worst place and just think, like, not really think about it and just be like, I'm being honest, he's being honest. And it's all fine. Like I've learned to transcend jealousy. Oh, you're above and beyond it. When did this happen? I'm not saying it wouldn't happen. It's been a process that I've been working on. Been working on it. So it's still going on. Yeah, it still goes on. But I really just, like, flip it. I do. I flip it. I'm like, that's not happening.

And I don't really care, and I'm awesome. I love myself. I love me. Cool. That's what we got. Okay. That's it for the show today. Yeah, that's it. We got for Joss. You said everyone. Don't be Jolliceko person. And I really like the, a couple things real quick. Go ahead, man.

We sign off. Uh, number one. We're at the Stitcher Studios here in SerumSubscoastiture.com. You can download the app and listen to the show on your smartphone, your droid, your iPhone, and iPad, and all that kind of stuff on the go. And I really enjoy talking to people on the phone, so I know you just put the phone number now on the window So our people can go to the website and write down and then When we're having the show going on give us a call. I want to talk to people who want to talk to you God, so I answer questions. Okay, everyone

Thanks for listening to Secretary of the only was a good for you email me feedback at section Emily dot com Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to sex with Emily I need to tell you about one of the great companies. It's keeping my show free Who doesn't want to spice things up in the bedroom? Maybe you've been fantasizing about surprising your lover with an adventurous new toy or don't movie? Well here's a really special offer for my sex with Emily listeners. Go to adamanif.com and for a limited time you'll get only 50% off just about any item. So this is a great time to try a couples toy like the Lilo Siri or a vibrating ring or even a rabbit

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Thanks for listening. you