Sex With Emily - Owning Your Oral : 15 Years of Good Head

Episode Date: July 17, 2020

In celebration of 15 years of Sex With Emily we dove deep into the archives to bring you her best conversations about oral sex. Guests Bart Smith, Sydnee Steele and Sadie Allison cover all the oral bases: tips and tricks, oral as foreplay and the importance of getting to know your own body so you can be a better partner.We’ve all heard of Kama Sutra, but did you know about oral Kama Sutra? Listen for tips on how to use the ancient Indian philosophy to start having better oral sex. Then, stick around for some of the best calls with oral over the past decade, including one about tongue piercings. To lick or not to lick, that is the question!For even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it more. Well, in today's episode, I'm going all the way back to my earliest podcast episodes to give you the best tips, tricks, calls, questions, and answers about oral sex. First, we talked to Commissue to Expert,

Julianne Ballmain, about what the Commissue to says and doesn't say about giving oral. We are from a few collars, and I get in debt with my friend, Dr. Sadie Allison, about some practical things you can do to up your oral game. Stick around, because you won't want to miss what one caller says about oral and tongue piercing. I don't think I ever actually looked at my vagina.

And so I thought my vagina was funny looking. Your right hand is wonderfully just crouched right on top for a cute little cherry doorbell with the potatoes. I used to have an old girlfriend, and I loved her to death and everything, but she's been trying to bite and do all this other... The teeth?

Oh yeah. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Been through eyes, they call them in a bygone day. Tonight we're talking to Julianne Balmain, who is the author of a beautiful set of books about the Kamasutra. Okay, so Vatsliana has this very beautiful and quaint approach to sex. He's very open-minded and very liberal,

especially considering he was writing a couple of thousand years ago. He says, basically, you should do whatever is appropriate to the time and the place where you are. You know, it's sort of a win-in-room philosophy, but it's a little bit even broader than that. Like, there are times when it's appropriate to be with more than one woman at a time. So when it's appropriate to be with more than one man, there are times when it's

appropriate to do whatever sort of deviation. And he points out like this is a deviation that is not going to be appropriate in most cases, but behind closed doors, you never know what happens. Why? Because of the deviations. Well, I mean, anal sex, for example, is a serious deviation. And he says, this is not to be done unless you're in the south when it is done. And we don't want to talk

about it. But if you're going to do it, this is what happens. Another deviation is oral sex. And then he makes the exceptions and says, well, the harem girls like to do this to one another. This is okay. This is the kind of level I'm here. It's like, because there are really good tips for going down on a woman.

And I was like, yeah, it's been around for thousands of years and most men still can't do it. Except I think I wrote this. Because he doesn't have the ones for going down the woman. No, I know. I know. I wish you had interpretation, but I really liked how you did. No, because, okay, this is, and this is what I loved about you. Writing is that it does say that, okay, for example, this is the one that I have in my hand about the,

it says, some women of the harem, when they are amorous, do the acts of the mouth on the yonis, which is the word for female. Female sex. Female sex. Of one another. And some men do the acts of the mouth on the yonis, which is the word for female sex. Female sex. Female sex. Of one another. And some men do the same thing with women. And so you take the real, the actual quote.

That's the actual quote. And then the actual quote from the commissar, and then what Julianne does in all these cards, is she kind of, so again, like the oral sex here, it wasn't actually in the commissar, but it did talk about oral sex. And she goes into all these, which I think is, I want to give this to men and talk about know what to do for those who would like more detailed instructions

Here are six steps to heading south with confidence which I love that's your modern take on it Gently slowly pinch her lips together kissing and nuzzling as you would her mouth. I love that soap That's exactly what it is. Yeah. Well, that's I that's my wish list is what that is right I thought I've put it out in the world and maybe maybe you'll come back to me you never know. Has it come back to you? A couple times. Yeah. Plunge your tongue in devouring her take time to nibble her thighs run circles around her navel and generally delay gratification. I mean this is all like yes. run circles around her naval and generally delay gratification. I mean, this is all, yes, this is good.

Well, that's also in the spirit of the Commissue Tour. There's a lot of attention paid to foreplay in general, but also the kind of the non-the teasing. Yeah, there's a lot of shampooing of the thighs that occurs in the Commissue Tour. And I was like, what is this? And basically, when they say shampooing, they mean to use some sort of oily

Undoant and to rub it, you know, with these wonderful motions and you think we never do We was last time you had your shampoo your advice shampooed. I mean nobody does this anymore And if they did wouldn't you be excited? I just feel like these are all the things I want like slower like the everyone's like I want more but and you get to someone you just get into your team But this thing about the comestor is there's so much about sensuality and touch and about relationships and about all this, the beauty of falling in love and even being together for a long time, you know, about doing different things with your partner and keep experimenting and going to play like how you, you know, your interpretation also, but going to plays or singing a song together

or the great thing or they say, you know, after you've had a night of love of love together, you know, you should go outside on the balcony and have something sweet to drink, maybe something mint tea or maybe something, you know, fermented and you should, the male party of the pair should point out the constellations, you know, and it's like, wow, okay, on one hand it's kind of paternalistic, but on the other hand, how sweet, you know, that sounds really lovely. So I got like excited about that. So this is another one we're talking about, like teasing and one hand it's kind of paternalistic but on the other hand how sweet you know that sounds really lovely. So I got like excited about that. So this is another one we're talking about like teasing and touch.

All the places that can be kissed are also the places that can be bitten. Oh this is a very funny aspect of the chemistry trip. But to my knowledge has been somewhat lost in the modern era. They were really into biting and leaving marks when they bit one another. It was you know if you had a night of passion with someone and came away without being marked up all over, then it was really, you had nothing to show for the experience and nothing to remember it by, and it was just,

you know, it was shallow, somehow or hollow. They really like to make a mark that would not break the skin, of course, because that would be unpleasant, but you want to bite hard enough to leave a mark that lasts for two or three days. So there's kind of an art to knowing how hard to do it. And then they would make patterns and that some of the patterns meant things, you know. So if you're going away for a few days, you would nibble a certain pattern around a woman's

breast, you know. And you know, if you think about the time when Vat Salliana was writing, women went around with their breasts exposed or partly exposed. They had a very sheer silk, maybe, over their breasts. And so you could see these marks. Thank you, Juliane Balmain, and thank you for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about Nicole from the Insight Institute and she studies orgasmic meditation. And of course I called Nicole Halpartman.

There's a course tonight called 10 Things Women Want You To Know About Their Gino. So tell me what was learned tonight. Let's see, men learned how to be with a woman. I'll say her vagina. Yep, you can say that. Just be with a woman, I'll say her vagina. Yep, you can say that. Just be with it. Like, often times we have a partner in our lives and our partners never even looked at our vagina.

It's true. We've actually, I mean, before I started this practice, I don't think I ever actually looked at my vagina. Right. And so, just, just, like, looking there. Right. And so just like looking there. Right. Why do you think that women don't and men don't? I think it's really confronting.

Right. I think it's really, we have to look at our sex and we have to be okay with it. And I know before another thing, before I started this practice I thought my vagina was funny looking. Right. Compared to other things, or just in general, you thought it was funny looking. Like compared to the picture that I had always seen in the magazine of vagina. Right.

It looked funny looking. Right. So I had a lot of fear of that when I would have sex with someone. Like, oh gosh. He's gonna think it's funny, but he probably wasn't even looking, right? I don't think I can. They know, they're like whatever, it's deep and wet. Exactly.

Okay. I think that we could like make ourselves wrong about. Have Bart Smith on the phone. Because here's the thing, I can tell you a lot of things, but he really is breaking it down for you, okay? Okay, Bart, we're going to get another call here. We're going to talk to Matt. He's been holding for a long time to talk to you. Hi, Matt.

Yeah, can you hear me? Yes. Thanks so much for holding and thanks for calling Sex with Emily. You have a question for Bart Smith. Yes. Expert and pleasing women. Kind of like a question and commentary of been taking up a little friend of names Elizabeth now for about two months.

And we have great chemistry together in the bedroom. But she recently told me that in all our experiences together that I haven't brought her to orgasm, but you know, the chemistry is so good like she's never not enjoyed our time together in the bedroom but a lot of the times when I try to you know incorporate some other tactics into my regiment like that that's one of the key things when you are able to focus on a woman and and do that and it's enjoyable that you know that can bring a woman to orgasm since she's not a fan of it is there anything you could recommend that

I could incorporate to make her accept that? That's a good question, ma'am. And join the experience. Bart, what do you think? His girlfriend? So you think she doesn't like it, right? She never told me that she didn't like it, but I start and start to get into it. She just kind of like, push me away a little. Okay. Bart, what do you think?

Does she really not like it or is she just uncomfortable? Well, it's interesting because number one, oral sex is one way to help warm up a woman's soul because we're actually giving her some worshiping activity down there in her pleasure, love zone. But one cool technique that you could probably try is this. Let's say she's on her back, her knees are up. You've kind of slid your legs underneath her.

Your body carriages laying on the side, kind of like if you're just lying on your side on the floor watching television or something. I love techniques. And your love rock, it's a station on inside her warehouse of what Cherry Love. And you're comfortably lying there on your side. You're not in a push-up position.

And you're right-hand, because I'm assuming you're lying in your left side. Your right hand is wonderfully just crouched right on top for a cute little cherry doorbell with the croutures. And with your raw-dying seal inside her awesome love punch that is giving her a good feeling and sensation of stimulating the G-Spot up in that upper crest area, the little area that feels kind of riveted, you know, et cetera. But then you have the clitoral stimulation and you're going to do this for about 15 minutes. 15 minutes. And what's going to happen?? Mad are you getting this? Yeah, I am. Okay, good. She's just going to relax, you know, because you're not on top of her like a big weight, like,

you know, when us guys get on a girl climb up top, etc. You're on your side, so you can actually do this for 35 minutes, bro. And before you know it, the love iron of rock and roll, rock and ship is just, you know, it's nice and inside her. But then with the clitorial stimulation and you're right there you can give her a little kiss you can look at her she can lean over and look at you and give you blow you a kiss before you know it in this particular stimulus physical positioning she's beginning to shake shiver rattle and roll I am right now exactly and before you

know it even if you don't accomplish it the first night her body has already lodged certain memories of that was pretty good i've never had that right this is the thing it's like pushing it right bar because met your saying she kind of pushes you away and i think a lot of times women just aren't comfortable with it and you're and don't worry about the other that you know achieving the o that way don't worry about it remember all

women are different and as uh... look at it like a salesman to a customer we want to please them we want to provide excellent customer service and you know i guess like uh... the faster restaurants have it your way so honey whatever you want whatever makes you comfortable whatever it doesn't matter and that's one of the laws of the bedroom

ask her what she wants ask her i love this law anyway how else would you like it how else can i please you know and and guys uh... they say what's the benefit of my doing all this and i think i got let me ask you a question how would you like to hang out with a woman for four hours in the book new nakedness it's true oh yeah i want to so i hey, give her what she wants.

It's going to like just satisfy her. It comes back. What comes around goes around. All right. We're going to do a quick break, but stick around for more oral. We got Sherry here and Virgi. We're talking about sex. J.R. and Patelima, thanks for calling.

Hey, I just wanted to comment about that no technique needed with oral sex. Yeah, what do you think? Absolutely ridiculous. Absolutely. All in agreement. Yes, because you've had some women who had less technique maybe Yeah, I You know I love her to death and everything but you know She just she's been trying to bite and do all this other teeth. Oh, yeah, she bit. Did you tell her?

Because I feel like yeah teeth is kind of what you know not so how long did you stay with her? Did you get better? I stayed for probably a couple months. It wasn't anything too long but you know that's not the reason why we broke up or anything. No. But you know. She didn't bite your anything off or anything.

No, no nothing like that. Right. Just the teeth. I mean you need to have technique. Right. Well what's here? What would you recommend in sort of the least explicit language you could, J.R. about what you really enjoy, Orally?

Just play around. I mean, variety. I don't know what to play around with. And yeah. Variety. Okay. So would you find, like I always ask you this, like, what's the best sex, if she was like, oh, she was the best ever had

I mean do you really think it's more because like the chemistry and all the stars were aligned or is just really like wow She just had good technique like she knew what she was doing with her tongue What do you think when it's really good and it's bad? How does it? Compare differentry differentiate. I think it really That sets the whole mood up for the entire thing. I mean, if you can start off right, then the entire experience is good. But I mean, if something's a lock or you start to stop and you don't do this, don't do that. Okay. You can get nervous and everything.

Right. Okay. That's good. Technique is for J.R.I. We all need to take one of Virgil's Flasio classes. Yeah, you know. Right. Okay. Let's go. Technique is for you. Right. We all need to take one of Virgil's Fleeceo classes. Thank you, J.R. Have a wonderful night. Thanks for calling. Thank you.

You're the love of the show. Thank you. Andrew and San Francisco is calling about getting a world sexful woman with a tongue stud. Hey, Andrew and San Francisco. Hello. Hi. I had an experience before, I guess getting more of a girl with her tongue. Hi. I had a experience before, I guess getting more girl with her tongue ears. Right. But I would say it's not really as good as I thought it would be.

Oh, okay. I would say kind of hurts. Really? Yeah. Because I think it really like it depends on how well the girl. I mean she was good but I don't know. She thought she was doing something that was really good but I didn't want to stop her. Personally I would say like, I don't know. She was doing something that wasn't really as good as the girl. She could have just not been that good though, right? It's like what you're saying. It's home nature and nurture thing here.

Yeah, yeah. No. So that was your one experience. Now, did you think, okay, here, you hear my question. So you started dating this woman and she's got a piercing, like a tongue piercing, where you're like, oh, she must be good at oral sex. Like, what were you thinking in your mind?

I was thinking, yes. Down with going and down. So, and it wasn't that great. Kind of painful. It was good, but she did something with her tongue piercing in particular that just, I don't know. She thought it was going to be like, I the uh... different the trial because you have a great thing right

and it didn't work out well thank you for sharing that what yes that what we can say did you ever tell her to just like that you know it was it was just kind of like uh... it just happened i i i was really expecting i mean it was just kind of like uh... one night stand i mean it was uh... i was i was living at the dorms at that time and uh... i don't know just one thing that's another and like

that that's what i got it that's why we're in the dorms no i get it that's good but maybe don't rule out all the women with piercings but yeah i mean i don't i don't think i don't think everyone i mean uh... and kids and college i just can imagine that i don't I mean, I feel like I probably thought I was good. I think I'm a lot better now. Verge, you got to tell me, what's like the biggest mistake that men said that women make when they're performing oral sex?

There was, there were two kind of competing things I found. And I found this more from what would you tell women to do differently? So I didn't ask the question. What was the worst thing? I'm just putting it negatively here. Honey, you're much smaller. You're a humanitarian here. Okay. And so one was teeth, and that was a big thing, and the other thing was enthusiasm. A lot of men kind of conveyed that, oh my God, please just be into it. Just be into it.

And one guy said, I'm willing to take the mistakes as long as you're into it, you know? And I felt like it was this entreaty to please love my penis because that's all I want from you. Because when you look at me, saying then Virji did a lot of men get the sense that, oh, she's doing it, but it's like a favor and she doesn't like it.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that comes from, that comes from actual dislike of the act on behalf of women. And I think it also comes from insecurity that they don't know what they're doing or that they don't feel like they're doing the right thing. So then they don't like it. But if you teach them what they're doing in the different sensitive parts and how do they tend to educate?

Yeah. How to communicate. Then maybe everyone's happy. Yes, exactly. Because it is true. I was saying earlier that men said, oh, is it true when you get married, you don't, you don't have oral likes anymore, that men are like, oh, get married, never had a Felicia performed on me again.

Right. We got to take this one calls here. Hey, Joe, in San Francisco, thanks for calling Sex with Emily. How right, how are you? Hey, I'm good. How are you, Joe? I'm good. How are you, Joe? I'm excellent, thank you. Good.

Okay, so you want to know what we like? Yes, I want to know what you like when a woman is pleasing you. Or male, please, sir. Doesn't matter. It's Sanford. Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah, I am well. I'm a woman for me, but that's okay.

Okay. All right, what I like is to be teased. In other words, I like a little tickle, a little little little and then stop a little conversation. So it's like, wait a minute. What happened and then come back again and tease it again. You know, Women like that too, PS. Okay, anyway. Yeah. The pleasureable place. She just continues when my whole body shutters right after that. And you like her to continue at that point? Continue at that point even after I've arrived at Jackie.

See, and that's a really good point, Joe, because I was always... Again, we're going to blast myths, and I was like, we always do. And Virginia, I was always told that,'re gonna bust miss and I like we always do and for jay was always told that like right after a man does ejaculate that you're not supposed to touch it. Go away run you know like turn on TV but joe you're saying that it's actually still feels really good at that point. Oh yeah I'm so glad you brought this up. Yeah yeah. So they should keep going. Absolutely keep it going until I just can't take it anymore I mean you know it's just that's when we're extremely sensitized have you heard this

virtue what have you heard about that yeah I mean it I you know like you were saying it's very it varies from person to person I mean I've been with plenty of men who do not want just like women I plenty of women who orgasm and don't touch me get away yeah and there are plenty of men who are still you know like you saying kind of sensitive. Yeah, it's so pleasurable. Thanks, Joe, that's a great point. I appreciate it.

Have a good night. Thanks for calling Section Emily. Like Joe, that's a thing that comes up. That's another thing that, you, again, I bring this up all the time on the show, but you know, if people are just joining us for the first time in Section Emily, there's a lot of messages that we learn sexually

at a young age when we first start having sex. That you're like, oh, men don't like this and women only like this. And they're not necessarily the case in every situation. And we don't often like update that information. And so like, I was like, oh, never touch a man after that. And Joe likes it. Thanks Joe for calling. Okay, we're going to talk to Tim.

Hey, Tim in Falejo. Yeah, I think it's kind of like, you know, you kind of got to read the situation, you know, like, if, I guess there's a one-on-one performance, but like it's still like, you know, like, like comedians or musicians, like, they have it where, you know, like, they kind of read the audience and they,

and y'all have to each other like, and thought- So you're saying when your woman is performing where they kind of read the audience and they and goss of each other like that. So you're saying when your woman is performing oral sex and you get, you can, she needs to be reading your cues. Yeah, I mean, you can kind of like, you can kind of, you know, like feel where somebody else is at, you know.

Do you feel that when you're with someone that she doesn't? What's that? Do you feel that some women don't aren't reading your cues? I think maybe sometimes they can, you know, like, yeah, they're not really sensing it, and they might like, you know, like cross boundaries or whatever, and it's just like, how do they cross boundaries? You know, just like, you know, like when you're interacting

with somebody else, and it feels, you know, like it feels, you know, like when you're interacting with somebody else, and it feels, you know, like it feels, you know, like a certain way. Wait Tim, I know you're trying not to say anything bad because we're regular. I'm just, so it feels a certain way and they're not, do you get the... I get what you're saying. Okay, explain it minus from the minute. What you're trying to explain is the cues. Like with me, I'll make certain type of noises when it's feeling, it feels good.

Okay. Like a, like a, like a, like a, hmm, like, kind of, like, like, like, you know, and then so they know, okay, that's, that feels good, so they're gonna stay. The question was about the boundaries. The boundaries, yeah. That's the confusion.

Yeah, what was about the boundaries? That's why I didn't understand him. What kind of boundaries are they crossing? Just like, you know, how like, you know, you can have there's like an empathic like aspect to it Where you can feel the other person. Yeah, and then like you can kind of sense, you know What's what's working and what's not?

Well, you know like with a crowd. Yeah kind of of senseless working. Oh, that didn't feel right. That felt right. Got it. And so you've seen that women just need to follow that. Yeah. OK. I got it. I agree.

And that sometimes women, like we said earlier, and men, they're like watching a lot of porn. And they're like, this is what I'm supposed to do. And they like do this act maybe, but it's not actually responding to your particular needs. Yeah. It's like listening instead of waiting to talk. Yeah.

I have a hard time listening, but no. Okay, thanks, Tim. Have a great night. Thanks a good story. Thanks for calling, Secretary. Emily, I said people don't watch other people. I remember a caller called an earlier in the show a few months ago and he was like, I love like when I'm with a girl and like, I put my hand on her stomach and I can tell like

just I can put a paying attention to how she's reacting and I'm like that's good that's what you have to do and I remember that was like there's different things that you can learn about your partner like parts of their body to watch and like menace what was that noise you make menace? mmm mmm mmm okay like if your partner goes mmm okay we're gonna talk to Halein Mmm. Mmm. Okay. Mmm. Like if you're fine, it goes, mmm. Okay, we're going to talk to Haleen.

Hi. Hi. Hi, it's Emily. Thanks for calling. You're in San Mateo. Oh, I'm sorry. It's Haleen from the layout. Haleen, it's a San Mateo, but yeah.

Haleen. I love your show and I like it too. It's my call and this is the great subject. Thank you. I want to say something. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's Haleen from the layout. Haleen, it's a San Mateo, but yeah. can you? I love your show and I'm glad you took my call,

and this is the great subject. Thank you. I wanted to tell you that I'm a little older than probably some of your listeners, and it kind of took me till my 40s to kind of really get into trying new things. I used to have all these rules. And then I looked at it, it got different, and I got interest, and I started studying it a little bit. And then I looked at it, it got different and I got interest and I started

studying it a little bit. Okay. And I learned a few tricks. Oh tell me your tricks. Huh? You learned some tricks. I learned tricks from a book I saw at Barnes and Noble. It was actually written by a gay man, man, or women. Oh, I have that book. Okay, right. women. Oh I have that book. Okay right. Try that and just move it mind literally. About like you could they want you to be into it but I was that all of a sudden I was into it. I was like all those taboo that I had about it. I had all these you know ideas in my head about why I didn't like to do it. But once I relaxed and I got into it, I got into the power of it. And just the giving him an experience about that. I know in all the years we were together, I had never given it.

That was very cool. God, Helene. Great. Helene, this is so good because this is what you're saying that a lot of times women just might not have the information. And then once they do it, you're like, oh, I get it. So Helene, that book is tips to a straight woman from a gay man. I have that book.

Now, what was the tips that really helped push you over the edge and your partner over the edge? The tips, the tips. Don't remember the tips. Well, from the school, stuff in the comic picture that taught me to relax like that. Right, you have to. I would have procced with so much tension

that, you know, I would get the T.M. A thing. That way. And I sure am the T.F.A. thing that went. And I sure am not the only one. Okay. Was using your finger to create a ring at the face of a pressure? I heard you looking at me like yes the finger at the ring. Okay the rim, okay. Yeah, but at the face of it and using it around it, it's crushed there, and then using the other hand to kind of rotate

clockwise and counterclockwise. It completely changed the whole thing. I allowed my jaw to relax a little bit more so that I felt like it was working too far. It really did be hard, it actually is incredibly hard. Exactly. In that place, it's just someone else. Okay. That is so, okay, so Elinzo, you did, and you overcame it. Like you felt weird about it, and now you're like, you're into it, because you started it and I've learned how to give oral sex.

You hardly know what to do. I don't, I think you think I've been taking over my family's match. Oh, it's me. Well, people are taking this class on Tuesday nights. I think a lot of women are going to be out there feeling like you do. I'm so glad you called. This is great. Thank you. I love the topic. I love this show. Thank you. Thank you.

Have a great night. She is my ideal, Helene is my ideal caller right now, Virgie, because this is what we're talking about tonight. We're talking about the penis. We love the penis. We're talking about Felatio. How can women feel more comfortable when they are performing oral sex on the partner and Virgy is teaching a class. She's an expert especially after these all these studies

She did all these men answer these like intricate details and we are going to really change the world when orgasm at time tonight because You're gonna help a lot of men are gonna be happier and women and I like what she said that she felt bad She read the book or just didn't feel as confident and then read the book and was like, Oh, I need to relax. What are some other little like tips that you can give? Like the tips that you would get, we said that like a lot of the complaints are teeth, we said, and women not being that feeling, looking passionate or feeling that they're into it. enthusiasm, right? enthusiasm.

enthusiasm. I'm sorry. Enthusiasticism. What's another tip that you would give to women like right off the bat? If a woman's like, I haven't given my husband oral, I haven't performed oral sex in 10 years. Like, what would you tell someone like that, Virgy, who has all this fear around it? Um, well, for me to speak from my own perspective and how I like to provide my partner with oral sex, and I've gotten a lot of rave of rave reviews not not to toot my own horn or anything but you can blow your horn

but you know a lot of men have complemented me not only on my enthusiasm but you're asking variation like I love to just go all over the place and again listening to their responses and watching them. Watching the cues. Don't go away. We'll be right back with Dr. Sadie Allison. Top three tips for good oral sex. So this is for the women and men out there. Women and men out there. Women, make your men shave the hair around the shaft. Seriously, because who wants all that hair in your mouth? No, you can't get to it.

In a lot of cases, we were talking about men that weren't in doubt. The more you shave it, the more there is, and the cleaner it is. But there are tips. You have to kind of worship it. OK. So you have to worship it. Okay. So you have to worship it.

Okay. Felatio tips. Felatio tips from a gay man. Yes. Okay. Tommy, Tim, Gaskin. Okay, so it depends if they have four skin or they don't have four skin. But you want to pull it back. You want to grab the shaft and you want to put your hand over it and you want to...

Why didn't we talk about this two hours ago? Because that's what you need to do. But here's the thing about... Do you have the Gantt? Okay, I'll describe it with ice cream. The little ice cream after two mouthfuls just tastes like cold. Whatever you're doing in your folatio technique, you got to vary it. You can't do the same thing.

Do that. If you're going to go all the way down. All the way down. Then don't go all the way down for a few strokes. Very the intensity. Also, here's a great picture. What do we, okay, here's the thing. I thought that for men to actually, do you have a certain consistency that you have to

have? Okay, keep going. I'm not talking anymore. This is better. If you have an oral sex, the woman, if you inhale while you're there, it makes the air feel cool around the clitoris. And if you blow out, it's warm. So, man, feel the same way when you're giving full-ashe. Cold air is breathing in and hot air breathing out. So you can, and I'm like really trying to

focus right now, okay? You can vary the intensity, vary the depth of your fully accepting to man member, and use your hand over the shaft. You always just use a hand, right? No, no, no, no, no. I would hold the butt and then just use your mouth then I would Use your hand You go, menace. What do you think about these? You know, come on menace. What about I'm saying do you like? I mean No, I'm I'm having you teach the women not You know, yeah, definitely put menace is a sound familiar to you or enjoy well not from Tim Oh, definitely joyable so hand and intensity and what's the map the breath? But menists, this sound familiar to you or an enjoyable not from Tim. Oh definitely enjoyable

So hand and intensity and what's the map the breath? But yeah, if you inhale while you're doing it, it's cool air Okay, and if you blow out its warm air it just is it's you know, you want to you know vary the experience for the person And also, you know by the way men love their Tesco's played with you know, by the way, men love their testicles played with, you know, use the whole area. Some do some don't, right? We found last week. Yes, Justin. Definitely the testicle play.

Always like how so? How much testicle play? Yeah, what's the percentage of the time? Licking sucking before you get to the big shaft. Okay, I need some more concrete because I'm having a hard time because I You know, licking, sucking before you get to the big shaft. Okay, I need some more concrete, because I'm having a hard time, because I already is going to be my model. Think of the testicles as the breast. Oh, yeah, that's what I love to think about. Okay, so what about the difference between using your hand and your mouth?

Do you feel that you like to vary that too? You should. You should. Yes. But again, it goes back to the thing about listing. You've got to watch your partner. Are they responding? What do they like?

What didn't they like? Just pay attention. You know, somebody might just like none of it. Just be- Do you think it varies from man to man? Of course. I said earlier, every sexual experience for the person is different.

There are a few things that are similar. but it's a different vibe with every person. You got to bring yourself to the new person and just pay attention and communicate. And sometimes it's awkward to have a verbal communication. You got to with your eyes, you got to pay attention to what's happening in the room. Right away. Always. The first time you're with someone. Even when, no, no, you always because you have to reinvent sex every time you have sex.

So the way you're not going to keep your partner and your partner is not going to be engaged and pleasing you. It's symbiotic and it's pain-attentioned, it's communication. Have you been in a long-term and non-gum-in-one relationship? Yeah, for 12 years with a guy and trust me after year seven, every Sunday I had to keep the marriage. It wasn't, you know, from year 70 or 12, it was Sundays where, like, I had to keep the marriage. It wasn't you know from year 70 year 12 It was Sundays were like I had to white knuckle it It wasn't the best, but um, you know, 12 years. Yeah

Wow, did you okay? Yeah, and I dated a girlfriend to yours and after that no earlier She was 39 and I was 17 so 17 to 19 I dated a hot woman really yeah Yeah, that is interesting. And I have sex with women in between relationships. Now do? Yeah. I don't want to mention the name. Stady Allison's here to answer any sex questions we have, right?

Yeah. But we're going to focus on men right now. Because we love men and we love their penis and the penis. And Tickle his pickle is an award-winning book. It's all about pleasing the guy. Pleasing the guy. And so we're going to get into that in a minute and the fun toys for men. We talk a lot about toys for women and you've got I've got some self-pleasureizers for the guys. Okay. So people can you they can ask you anything tonight. They can ask me anything. Tell me how did you get into the sex business?

What's your situation? I kind of fell into it because it was a hobby of mine to give advice. All through high school and college, I was called the little Dr. Ruth. And I taught my girlfriends how to orgasm over and over by telling them just some basic things like this. What the clitoris is about is how it works here's some loob here's how you can touch it

go home and try all this and so time after time I changed all my friends lives and they were like wow it worked it worked and I said you know I should just write a little pamphlet and give it away for fun and who knows maybe it'll grow into something but I want to help more women and so that idea evolved three years later I came out with tickleler, your fancy. Okay. And now that's like the men's the playbook for the other team. We're going to talk about that too. Yeah. Tickler, your fancy a woman's guide to sexual self pleasure. So it's for, it's an empowerment book for women that teaches them it's okay to touch yourself. You know, women who grew up thinking it's wrong

and it's bad and you know, it's a taboo. That's all done and passed. We're in the new millennium now and it's, it's okay and it's part of our natural birthright. We're born with the parts it's pleasure. It's okay to touch yourself and it shows you how to do it. I read it. I actually I masturbated twice today. I read your book today. I did. Well I was talking for the show I know. I don't need to show that. I never. That's the most good. Well because it was's the kind of good book. Because it was new tips. And I like it there.

Oh, so you're trying to use it. No, because of Sadie's book. It's because of me that she's messing with me. I was prepping for the show. I read Tickle has pickle. I didn't have a chance to practice Tickle has pickle yet, because I didn't have a pickle around. And he'll be happy when she does.

But Tickle, you're fancy. I was like, oh, there's some really good ideas. It's like pocket-sized book. So keep it right in the purse. Everyone should read this book. Because I, okay, so you were the doctor, Ruth, there's some really good ideas. It's like pocket-sized book. So it keeps it right in the purse. Everyone should read this book. Because I, okay, so you were the doctor, Ruth, because I had friends, I didn't have the easiest time in the world having orgasms either in college

and I had friends like you that would kind of, so it's like that girl in the clique that talks about sex out loud. And that's, I was the one. I was uninhibited, I wasn't shy, I was sexually explorative, I didn't have boyfriend's much so that did why your beautiful Thank you. I always I just was going for the the wrong kind right. Oh, you know looking for live in other wrong places But maybe not boyfriends that you

Like surfers like that And you live in the Bay Area as well. Yeah, yeah San Francisco native Latif. And you've been on a million television shows and books and you've written books and you've been on radio shows. So you're proud. Thank you for joining us. I get out there.

I want to start with them. I love this. Tickle his pickle, okay? I can't say that enough. Your hands on guide to penis pleasing. So why do you think that women need a book like this? Well, because we're never really taught how to have good sex. When you go to school, high school college,

you learn about birth control and STDs and maybe a little bit about the anatomy, but they don't teach you how to have an orgasm, how to give pleasure to a partner, how to receive pleasure and feel comfortable being naked and just a lot of the common issues that no one ever addresses that and your parents certainly aren't teaching you.

And you know your friends might be giving you tips and the guys don't know what they're doing, they're fumbling in the dark so where do you ever really learn how to give pleasure to where someone can really enjoy it. And also everybody's so different what works on one woman or man won't work on the next. So you really have to be coached. And you never run out of examples here in tickles, but you're like, oh, I've never done that. And there's so ton more that didn't even make it in this book.

This is what I, okay, so I understand that too, because I think, and I've talked about this before, is that we do, we all get set in our ways. We're like, I do the same thing, you know, this, every time I maybe touch a penis or I'm near one, I might do the same thing over and over again and men the same thing, but you gotta mix it up and there's actually what I like is the manual stimulation part in here using your hands, but you're women using their hands. She's got like diagrams like eight different kinds of of just the grip alone, just the grip, the double wrap, the upside down. Okay, I was like grabbing my, I was like, okay, wait, the sausage wrap and the, what are some other ones in here that I like? The basic, it's the old faithful, the twister, the pumper, the cigar roller, pleasure tunnel. I like this. They all, they love this. So how did you know, though, what men liked? How did you know?

Well, a lot of it's based on personal experience. I practiced what I preach. So like I said, I was single for a long time and I got to explore and was uninhibited. So that allowed me to learn a lot. And then I also do a lot of research. I mean, I talk to hundreds and thousands of people throughout the years and I do surveys and I give seminars so I get a lot of feedback from people.

So I'm really hands on, if you will. Hands on. That's good. I mean, I want to know, okay, so what do you think the biggest complaints that men have about women when they're tickling? When they're tickling is pickle? Yeah. What do they do? How do women, how do we mess up?

Okay, well, number one, the most important thing over everything and over any technique that men really want the woman to have is enthusiasm. Believe it or not. Guys would much rather have a woman who's not so great at it, but it's really into it, doing it than a woman who can knock it out and two minutes flat, but she's just like, you know, doing the deed, you know, and then it's finished. That's not as fun than someone who's really into it. So they want you to- How can I tell if you're into it? You gotta express yourself. Oh, okay.

You retake on his pickle and you learn all my tricks. But I just off the top of my head, I can tell you that they like to hear sounds. Men love hearing things and men love visual things. So just right off the bat, you wanna make those little noises, you know, the sucking sounds and the spittin' and the little moons and aes and all that little stuff.

And you want to position your body in ways where he can look at you and get off on that. You want to see it. You want to see it. You want to see it. You want to see it. You want to see it. Maybe if you're on your hands and knees, you can lift your butt up and show parts of your body that you think is more attractive and flaunt yourself and let them see your curves

because women are beautiful with our curves. All of these things together, along with what he's feeling, really enhances it and makes it a really good experience. Do you think that some women then don't, they're more covered up with a color? Oh, I don't see me. Oh yeah, they won't even turn on the lights. There's so many people still that like to do it in the dark

because they're so shy and insecure about their bodies or, you know, it's very, they're not sure if they're doing it right. So just the whole thing is frightening to begin with. So it's really good to get some. Show your body, make noises. Okay. So what else? What are some other of the main tips that women,

how do we mess up? No teeth, no, I know that. All those, no, some guys like teeth. They do? Oh yes. That's the one cool thing about sex is that there's never a nobody likes this type of thing There's always going to be someone that likes this and someone that doesn't so it's all about finding out what your partner really wants

Okay, I know guys that like teeth It's yeah, how do you figure that out? Well, you got to talk That's that's the other thing that that you got to do is you have to communicate because you can learn by kind by their reactions and you can kind of guess it looks like he likes that. I think he's getting, but if you just ask or, hey, baby, does this feel good or do you like it when I do this? Or do you like when I do this? And try to, you know, and you think most men are honest enough. They'll say, yeah.

You won't say. Well, yeah, I like it, even if they don't, just a polite. I think that if you like to do that energy that you really want to know and you're trying Well There could be those guys that don't want to hurt your feelings. Yes, but I think most guys if they see that you genuinely want to know and you want to care, and it's all about what's going to feel best for you, oh, they'll jump right on and tell you what they want. Dr. Cady Allison. I'm Dr. Emily, I'm a Monday through Friday, 5 to 7 pm, Pacific on Series X and Stars,

for even more sex talk, calls, and interviews. Also follow me on social media, I'm at Sex with Emily on Instagram and Twitter, where I'm always posting the best tips and tricks to help improve your sex life. All me and social media, I'm at Sex with Emily on Instagram and Twitter, where I'm always posting the best tips and tricks to help improve your sex life.