Sex With Emily - Pelvic Positioning Changes Everything

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Episode Description In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily takes live listener calls and answers the questions you're dying to ask but won't. A caller discovers she can only finish one very specific way—what's really happening in your pelvis when your legs are straight, and why changing this pattern might unlock entirely new pleasure. The masturbation habit that's secretly limiting your orgasms—and the exploration technique that expands your body's repertoire without any pressure to "fix" yourself. Why one couple finds anal more pleasurable than vaginal sex, what this reveals about nerve endings you didn't know you had, and the specialist who can actually help if penetration hurts. Plus, what happens when you stop chasing what you think should feel good and start discovering what actually does. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro 1:57 - Orgasming with Straight Legs: Finding Positions That Work for Your Body 7:42 - Why Having One Way to Orgasm Is Completely Normal 8:38 - Dating After Loss: Navigating Chastity Play & Delayed Ejaculation 16:21 - Male Chastity Explained: Pleasure Beyond the Dominant Role 17:43 - Erotic Lactation: A Surprisingly Common Intimacy Practice 24:15 - When Anal Sex Feels Better Than Vaginal: Understanding Different Pleasure Pathways 27:40 - The Clitoris Extends Internally: Why Anal Orgasms Are Possible 29:37 - Dealing with Vaginal Pain: You Don't Have to Live with Discomfort

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And if you don't always have to be in the dominant role. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily. Here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the. the conversation around sex. Today I'm answering your most personal sex questions live and we're getting into everything. We're talking about how to explore new positions that actually work for your body. We're diving into chastity play and delayed ejaculation because kink comes with questions and we're breaking down the taboos around anal pleasure, including why some vulva owners find more

satisfaction there than with vaginal sex. If you've ever wondered if your body is normal or felt like you're doing sex wrong, stay right here. Because pleasure is yours to explore and there's no one right way to get there. This is Donna. She's 33 in Kansas. Hey, Donna. It's Dr. Emily. Thanks so much for calling in.

How can I help you? Hi, Dr. Emily. Hi. I have no problem getting to the magical O during solo play. I am a vulva owner and usually my partners are penis owners. And when I am with a partner, it does typically take longer and things to you. your help and all your advice, like I've grown to accept that and not beat myself up over that anymore. But I have learned that there are positions for girlies like me who finish better or

faster or just in general with my leg straight instead of bent. But I've only, only found one position so far. And it seems like a lot of positions are for bent legs. And I was just wondering if you had like one, two, five, ten different recommendations that I could finish with a partner with my legs kept straight. Okay. Well, thank you for your question. And I just want you know this is really, really common that for a lot of women, this is how we learned to orgasm. We have one way that we learned during masturbation because what happens is when our legs are straight, this changes the position of your pelvis and the clitoris. So with your legs straight, your clitoris, you're versus more prominently upward than if the legs are bent.

So when you're straight, you're tighten your pelvic floor, you're clenching this whole area, your muscles are working together, right? And you're squeezing, and then you can have this orgasm. And it's amazing. And that's super common and all good. I definitely have some positions for you, which I will get to. But I also want to invite you to start to explore on your own. Yeah, like what else could possibly feel good when you're masturbating?

Because a lot of penis owners do this as well. They have the one way they masturbate with their hands. And it can be sometimes more challenging for them to orgasm with a different kind of pressure or grip. So for you, you get to now learn other ways if you're interested. So masturbation, you could start with your legs straight and start to feel that arousal as you're clenching your legs together because what we're doing is you're also pumping your pelvic floor muscles. So you're sort of like it's a pumping and you're able to squeeze and tensing and relaxing and relaxing. So that's great. But if you start that way, then you can start to breathe, you'll feel the arousal and then see what happens if you bend your legs a little bit.

See if you can still have that kind of arousal and then you can straighten your legs again. And then you can bend them again. And just play around with different sensations because perhaps that could be the way that you start out and then you'll find that there's actually other ways. Because the cool thing is having a vulva, we have so many nerve endings. And so those are the ones that you've learned to specifically stick. stimulate effectively and efficiently. But then there's other ones that you can explore on your own. Okay. Okay. I will stay curious just because you challenged me to do that. I love it. Well, it sounds like you listen to the show and you're, you know, you know that it does take some,

you know, you're not going to feel bad about that. That's the only way you can orgasm. I'm just suggesting to you. Okay. So one way to do it is missionary. Missionary position with your legs straight can also be really hot for a penis owner because when you, you're on your back and your legs are tighter together and you're squeezing, that pressure could feel amazing on his penis. And they actually like that position too, or they can. You could also do a flatter doggy style with your legs together. Laying down on your stomach. Laying down on your stomach. You could put a pillow underneath you, like use a body pillow so you can elevate a little bit your chest and your pelvic floor area, your stomach. Just play with pillows. I'm telling you,

we do not use pillows enough because they completely change up the position. And then also you could try spooning. Even though spooning, your legs are usually closer in, you could also do it that way. Okay. Those are some off the top. You could also do your legs straight on your partner's shoulders. You could be in missionary and your partner could put them over your head or you can put them on one shoulder or the other shoulder of both of his shoulders.

Like you could take your legs, cross them even so they're tighter and put it like on his right shoulder or his left shoulder. So you're still having the squeezing. right? You could also put them over your head if you're flexible. Well, that would be adventurous. You know. Exactly. See, this is your goal. Your goal is to find other ways for solo play. And then try out some of these positions. Do you have a partner right now? Yes. Okay. The fun thing is our partners, the ones that we want to be with, the ones that have growth mindsets around sex, are excited that you're finding ways that feel good to you. He'll be down with experimenting. And then you'll see that you'll be able to adapt in a lot of positions with your leg straight, if you so choose. Okay. Cool. Yeah. So first I need to try and make sure that it's not just straight legs. I can open my world up, but then also encourage different positions. Yeah, just for fun. And just see what happens.

Yeah. Just see what happens. As long as it feels good, right? Exactly. You wanted to feel good to you. And you wanted to kind of do some mindful masturbation where you're just not thinking about orgasm. You're thinking about what else could feel good to be right now. Where could I move my fingers that I haven't? Can I go slower? Can I? you know, take deeper breaths. Can I move in different positions? And probably not being in a rush either. Exactly. Because it's usually like, I'm going to try and pencil this in right now because I need a stress relief. And so therefore, it's leading to some creativity exploration isn't really on the docket.

Yeah. No, I hear you. I maybe need to carve out some time. Absolutely. Like, let's just talk about it, Donna. Like making time for ourselves. We all talk about self-pleasure. care, but putting it on your calendar and saying, when am I going to have a night at home? I'm going to

take a bath. I'm going to take the time. I'm going to explore. I'm going to, you know, use the body lotion that I love. And I'm going to, you know, charge a new vibrator, use a lube or whatever it is that's for you. And then just taking time. And then when you're masturbating, like we said, you're going to start with your leg straight. And then you can slowly bend them in as you're feeling more turned on and just see what happens. And then, yeah, the other positions are just, you know, missionary, flat doggie style, spooning, you know, your leg straight. See how it goes on your partner's shoulder. I like it. I like it too. This is good. This is your year. Let me know how it goes. We're here for you. Okay. So keep me posted. Thank you for listening and calling in. I appreciate

you. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. Thank you for your time. I appreciate you. Yeah. Have a great day. I love this question. It is so common for Volvo owners to have one way that they can orgasm. It's always rubbing their clitoris. And so they think, well, therefore, I can never have an internal orgasm, or it's always on their stomach or always on their back. And I'm just happy when you can have an orgasm. Like, thank God, that's amazing for a lot of Volvo owners. We can't have orgasms or it's a little bit harder. So that's great. Then you get to explore because you have 12,000 nerve endings between your legs. So let's just do the math here. There's probably a lot of them that are not being stimulated from this one way that you orgasm. And so for the majority of

all the owners that do take time, just a few extra minutes with the goal of exploration, seeing what else feels good. Taking your hands, moving over your body, your nipples, your inner thighs, you know, basically we're teasing ourselves and finding out all the ways, all the pleasure zones we have, all the past of pleasure, because we have them all over our bodies. This is from Josie. She's 57 in the UK. Hi, Josie.

It's Dr. Emily. Thanks so much for calling in the UK. Yes. Well, I'm actually in Spain at the moment, Dr. Emily, because I'm on my holidays. Oh, good. So I'm getting a last bit of winter sun before, you know, it really, it really disappears. Oh, yeah. It's coming soon.

Well, I'm glad you're doing that. What a great time to talk about sex and think about the new year as you're finishing out the vacation. Exactly. How could I help you? What's going on? Right. So Dr. Emily, what happened was I was married at 20, so from the age of 19, I was married for 34 years with my husband for 37, and then he passed away a couple of years ago. So at 57, I have now found myself in this new weird world of dating. I have met an extremely alpha male who is completely different to my husband, and the only question I have for you is he's very into male chastity, edging. He loves edging.

and sounding rods, which I didn't know until a couple months ago, that was even a thing. But when we're together, sex is very interesting, but he never ejaculate internally. So I'm wondering if all this male chastity and all this edging that he does has actually done something, or is it a whale? He must ejaculate through me giving him masturbation or oral sex, but he could go for hours. And I mean, I know people think that's a good thing, but it's not. Really, it's not. Okay, right.

Well, first off, I love where you found yourself right now, you know, in this next stage of life, finding someone that is really fun. You can play with him in the bedroom. So here's the thing. Have you ever talked to him about it? Because he might be okay with not having an orgasm. It sounds like that might be part of the practice. Yeah, yeah. I mean, at 20, back in 1980, whatever, and me, my husband didn't really speak about sex.

So we had a very vanilla life. And as I said, you sort of dream about this stuff, but you don't actually think it's out there. So we've had some really in-depth conversations about it. And he loves the feeling of just about, but then not. Oh, edging, right. Okay. Yeah, the edging.

He loves that feeling. So he gets a lot of pleasure, he says. And he says, it's very rare. I mean, not just with me, it's not, I've worked out. It's not just a me problem. It's a hymn problem. Okay. So with past relationships, it's been the same.

but I seem to feel I feel the needy has to do it and then eventually you'll go oh I could go on no light let's not let's not try so I just wondered if male chastain that can

cause some sort of delayed ejaculation because when I've researched it there's an awful lot of podcasts and leading out there for premature ejaculations but not that much out there about delayed ejaculation well okay so to get to your specific question

is, is all of this play that he's doing, edging, which is actually the process of building towards orgasm and then bringing yourself back down so you don't orgasm. So getting on the edge of orgasm. And he likes to be dominated by you. He wants to take a submissive role. He's super alpha in his life. But during sex, sex becomes like this really connected playground for him where he can, you guys can play things out and BDSM. So it sounds like through all of that, That's part of his sexual arousal cycle is the power play between the two of you. And so what I'm just want to understand is orgasming might not be part of his process. It might be really hot for him to do all of these things.

And if he comes, he comes. And if he does and he doesn't, he doesn't. Now, I know you've been able to make him come with your hand or with your mouth, you said. But also for some guys, he might be a delayed ejaculator. Now, delayed ejaculation is almost as common as premature ejaculation. And this is guys who take anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour to orgasm, even when they're with themselves, typically, and they have a lifetime of this. And there's a lot of different reasons for it, just like premature ejaculation. We don't know if it's psychological, if it's a learned behavior. Maybe he's been having sex for a long time, too. He might have a pattern of his arousal. So it just means that that's just how he's patterned. I don't know if it's specifically because of what he did. Maybe he got into all of this stuff because he was a delayed ejaculator, right? Like, you typically, if a guy's an dilated ejaculator, that's something that happens is from a young age.

And so that would be something interesting to, yeah, ask them. Yeah, to talk about that because I just felt this sort of, as a woman, you kind of feel like you're not, it's new to me. Yeah, no. In a monogamous relationship for 37 years, it's sort of new to me. I'm thinking, is this, is this like a learned closet? Is this just something he does? He doesn't seem to mind.

He doesn't, you know, he's not saying he's not enjoying it. He's not coming back. next week. It's, you know, it's just something he does. He's been in a very female-led relationship before where male chastity's been around, you know, some lady who liked controlling all that for him. Okay. So, yeah, I just wondered whether that's sort of psychological or whether it's just, it doesn't matter. It doesn't really matter. No, you know, Josie, it doesn't matter, like, honestly. But I think definitely talk to him about it. But it sounds to me like you guys are having a good time and everything's going well. And what it sounds to me,

you that everything you told me is that he's not really focused on his orgasm and if it happens it happens but what a great conversation to have with him because I also understand as a woman we're like well this is my job if he doesn't come is it really great sex does it mean I'm not doing enough am I not enough for him and that's just you know chalk that up to all the misinformation or zero information we get about sex it's not always about that and I think that that goes vice versa, because he's very much trying to, you know, from my orgasm, and I'm a bit like

to him, forget it, forget the goal. That's not a goal. I'm just, I enjoy all, you know, everything else is fantastic. Just don't worry about that side of things. I'm not worried about that. So perhaps we need to have a slightly more honest conversation. Like, he's not worried. I'm not worried.

Stop, you know. Right. That's a great thing about wisdom and being a little bit older. It's like, let's just have the conversation. Josie, you're saying that you don't care about your orgasm, but maybe you do. Maybe there's other ways you can orgasm that he gets to work on play with your orgasm. You said he gets off on that too.

So I think there's a lot more fun and exploring you guys can do together. And I think this is going to be, continue to be a really good time as long as you. I think I need to stop worrying about him. He needs to stop worrying about me and we just need to crack on together. Exactly, Josie. Really. You know, get out of our heads, into our bodies and have a good time with this man and just have some frank conversations and then you'll know, right?

Yeah. Okay. I think that's the issue. I think the issue is he didn't, he's in his head a lot. And I did listen to one of your podcast today as I was walking about people being too much in their head. So I think that's his issue. He's in his head and he's thinking about it. So right. So my main question was the chastity and that hasn't caused it. The chastity of having his penis locked up into a cage. Let's ask him. We don't know if it's like chicken and egg thing here. Maybe he was always a delay ejaculator and thought it would help or maybe it just doesn't matter. It factor into it. I have no idea. But again, if it didn't. cause it, he would know and he probably doesn't bother him. He would, yeah, he would know. He would know, but let's just have a conversation when I get back home. Okay, good. Enjoy the rest of your vacation and don't blame yourself here about it. You guys just going to get more information and find out how it goes. See what happens. I'll let you know.

Okay, keep us posted. Thanks, Josie. Thanks, Jozy. Yes. Okay, have a great day. Thank you. Bye-bye. Chastity, mail chastity. I love talking about these things because a lot of guys, you know, don't really understand or don't really see how the other ways. that they could have pleasure in their bodies. And if you don't always have to be in the dominant role. And so guys who are into being more submissive, maybe they're having their penis in a cage, that their partner controls the key,

or maybe they just have their partner control their orgasms. They tell them when and where they can orgasm. And as Josie said, her partner is a very, like, masculine guy who is very strong and assured in his day-to-day life, but wants to be more submissive in the bedroom. Makes sense, right? we all get to decide different roles that we want to play. And I love that, you know,

we get to explore. Chastity cages should be perfectly safe. As long as you use a cage that fits properly, you clean it regularly. And then you work up to longer periods of wearing it. You don't have to just try to go for hours and days, definitely work into it. It's a process. A lot of times they can be used as, you know, solution to premature ejaculation, but it shouldn't cause any delayed ejaculations or any other problems. But remember, we can learn so much more about our partners by just having open, honest, and curious conversations about sex. Love this question. Hold the phone. I'll be right back after a quick break for our sponsors. Let's be real, okay? Sometimes intimacy starts to feel like another box to check. You're tired, your stress,

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level. And that's exactly what this butter does. It helps you slow down, tune in, and actually enjoy each other again. And it's 100% organic made with clean natural ingredients, and the scent alone just sets the mood. So whether it's foreplay, massage, or just a little moment of connection after a long day, this is your reminder that pleasure starts with touch. And Common Confidentials massage butter makes it effortless. Get 15% off your order with my code, sex with Emily at checkout. That's Sex with Emily for 15% off at Common Compt. Confidential.com. That's commonconfidential.com. Hey, Cody, it's Dr. Emily. Thanks so much for calling in. How can I help you? Hi. I just have a question about if this is something you've ever heard of.

My wife recently gave birth to our first child. And one of the things that we've been doing in our sex life is that I'm actually suckling from her breasts. Okay. Is this something that you've ever heard of? Yeah. In fact, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's called erotic lactation.

It is incredibly common. In fact, there was a survey. I pulled this up for you. 4,000 Americans shared their fantasies in 31% of men. 31% said they fantasized about breast milk in some way before. I would say that definitely before we started it. It was something that caught my curiosity. Oh, okay.

What did it taste like? How would it make me feel? And I love it. It's really fun. It's very engaging. It's just a new form of intimacy. Yeah. It really can enhance intimacy. But also, how does your wife feel? She really enjoys it. Sometimes they'll start out as a foreplay and just and sometimes just thinking about it. It gets her aroused, wet down there. Yeah. I mean, these can give partners, you know, a real sense of intimacy. and you also have the hormones like oxytocin, which is the love hormone that's released

during arousal and sexual activity, but even more so when nursing. So when nursing women release even more oxytocin, it's like we call it the cuddle hormone too. So it would make sense that this would really be enhancing intimacy with both of you. You're good. You know, a lot of people after childbirth or when their partner's nursing, it can be a challenging time for couples to connect again, but it sounds like you have found a really beautiful way to, you know, connect with each other. And it can also feel great, too, because the breasts are

highly erogenous zones. So if she might be feeling some kind of stimulation from that, that's a great bonus. Yes, she is. And it actually started out as me trying to help her, because even though pumping and trying to feed our daughter, breastfeed our daughter, she wasn't able to get all the milk out. So it was causing her pain and her breast. And this all started because one of her friends, who's a nurse, suggested that I suck the milk out to relieve the pressure. Because I guess just an adult will be able to suck more, you know? Yeah.

And if she's having pain. So that probably helped her clear it out. So that was good advice. Yeah, definitely. So, I mean, it sounds like her friend knew what she was doing. And so she was having pain at first, you said. And then you were able to clear that out. And now she's actually having sensation again in her nipples.

That feels good. Yep. There's so much more to know about this, right? I think this is a practice that could help, help women and with their partners feel more connected. So good on you. It's a very taboo, taboo experience at first thought. Yeah. A lot of things that are, you know, beyond what missionary sex people often think are taboo. But this is probably what makes it erotic, too, is that it's something that's sort of forbidden. And when we have the forbidden taboo things, that's kind of adds to the eroticism. Yeah? Does that make it more hot for you? Oh, yeah. It's definitely half for me. And at first, it was just to help her relieve the pain. And then I think I had stopped for a while she was starting to get the ducks cleared out through pumping. And then it was just one night while we were having sex. I just squeezed the breast and just the milk started squirting everywhere. And then I just lashed on and started sucking him. And then I asked her what she felt about and she really enjoyed it.

Okay. So we continued it. All right. Well, great. I don't think there's anything to worry about here. If you guys are too consenting adults, you're both having pleasure. You feel more connected. Your wife's in less pain. Sounds like you guys are really healing each other. Yeah. All right. I just want to get your thoughts on this side. And if you ever, because I've been listening to you show for about five years. I don't think I've ever heard a topic about this before. Oh, yeah. You know what? I don't think that anybody has asked me during the show. I definitely

have friends who have brought this up before. This fantasy can take different forms. It can be drinking a woman's breast or drinking directly from the breast or watching a woman lactate or, you know, watching them lactate during sexual activity or watching her lactate on you. There's like a lot of different ways, you know, so it's kind of an umbrella term. Also, people call it adult breastfeeding. But there's a lot of different ways that couples can play with this. And it's more common than we think. So I don't know that we've talked about it. So what I love is that you brought this up because I don't know if I haven't talked about the show, it's been a while now.

So I'm glad you called in. I love people call in with things that maybe they don't hear because what you've done here is you've helped to normalize this for people who might be having this fantasy or who might be thinking about it. But I just want to say there are health risks. Just don't buy breast milk online. Just for anyone listening, you get excited about this. Like it's not regulated.

It could have some bacteria in it if it's untested. Just do the real thing. Yeah. And from a trusted person that's in your life. Yeah, exactly. Sounds like you guys are in a good place. I appreciate your call and being, you know, open and honest about what your experience is. Thank you for taking my call.

Okay. Thank you. It was really great to talk to you, Cody. Thanks for listening, calling in and sharing your question. We appreciate you. Okay, Cody. Have a great day. Bye.

This is something that comes up. People have whispered about or you feel a little bit taboo about it. but I think that the more we can talk about things that could allow couples to feel more connected, this is not the kind of thing that you can do all the time. Obviously, your partner needs to be lactating and breastfeeding. But I like the idea of couples finding ways to really connect during this time when sex can be really challenging, can be painful. I love that this question just sort of probably opened up for a lot of people, maybe fantasies that they've had. So if you have a question as well, and you haven't heard on the show, even better. But there

is no bad, stupid questions. There's nothing that's wrong. I'm not going to shame you. I'm not going to blame you. You're probably already doing that yourself. We're never done exploring our sexuality. This is from Bill. He's 40 in Wisconsin. Hey, Bill. Thanks so much for calling in. This is Dr. Emily. How can I help you? Yes, I'm a big fan. She won't say that. What was that when we started to try doing sex, I realize that her vaginally, it was always tight. It always hurt her, always gave her comfort. And one of the happening was,

we had to have her breathe more, have her, to bring exercises to make it more comfortable. So what I learned, then when we tried to do, we learned where we started doing, I'm having anal sex. And what's happening was,

it was a lot, for some reason, it was a lot smoother for that process. But it was always weird because it was always, with Vigina, it was, so I think we could just comfort but whenever we did anal it was it was a very long time

it was the opposite okay so I never met any person how that ever came about so I was trying to figure out how was that possible you know right okay so you're saying yeah so what you're saying is that

you tried to have vaginal sex with her and it was more painful for her but when you have anal sex she really enjoys anal sex and so she prefers that to vaginal penetration Okay. It's not as common, but it would make sense, first off, if she has vaginal pain, she might have just enjoyed anore sex more because she has pain. But also, for a lot of

vulva owners, they do have a lot of pleasure during anal. They can have orgasms. There's a lot of nerve endings in our, you know, anus as well. So that might be it. Have you ever talked to her about it? Yes. She said with people before me, she said that it was no problem because, because with them, it was, it was, it was, it was, I know it was normal, but she also said that it also wasn't as long either, like a couple of months long. What wasn't as long? She said the sex wasn't as long either, though. Oh, okay.

So you're saying it's lasting a lot longer, right? So it sounds like she's exploring with you different ways of experiencing pleasure. So it's all good, you know, it sounds like if she's having a good time and this feels like a different experience for her and you're a, enjoying it. I love it. And also, can I add one more things too? Sure, of course.

I think for, because I've been listening to your show for so long, even from a while back when we did sexual personality, and did I explain to people and it's like that everyone is different. You know, and also, too, one thing I've also learned is that also wanted to be ashamed to take adult sex and class. It makes you realize that you never thought was possible. Yeah. I'm telling you, I used it all ever since I was 21.

Wow. Thank you very much. Of course. Yes. I'm so glad you've been listening for so long. Thanks, Bill. It's really good to talk to you. I love it.

I'm at the post office, so absolutely. Okay. Whenever I do, I'm working. Okay, you're working. Well, thank you for making time. I'm so glad. Thank you for listening and for, you know, Just challenging yourself sexually and continuing to grow.

We're all in this together. Appreciate it. Okay. Bye, Bill. It's pleasure. It's pleasure to talk to you too. Have a great day. Let's just talk about anal sex for a minute.

I mean, thank you, Bill, for your call. There's a lot of Volvo owners who have pleasure that way. They do. People always like, oh, women can actually like anal sex. Yes, they can. And they can have anal orgasms. So remember that the clitoris is really an internal and an external organ. So when we talk about having all these nerve endings, we have legs. And the legs of the clitoris

extend all the way deep inside and it can even extend into the anus. So it's like you could have be hitting the nerve endings of the vagina of the clitoral legs. Again, women's sexual health is not as studied as much. So people still have, there's still debate about all of this. But I believe a lot of the pleasure that we have comes from these incredible clitoral nerves that extend way deep inside. And so a lot of Volvo owners can't have pleasure that way when they learn to open up and explore because a lot of us have been told that it's painful. You know, maybe we had a bad first time experience. But now, if we're with a partner who's open and willing to slow down and explore, we might find that there's just a lot more pleasure to be

had all over our bodies. If you are a little bit more intimidated or haven't tried atoplay, Remember, you can try during solo sessions. You can try to stimulate yourself and see how does it feel to be penetrated. How does it feel to have a finger inside me or even just externally? You know, the sphincter muscles has a lot of pleasure there. So play around. I would say there's still a lot of taboo around anal sex. But I'd just like to get to the point where we all just get to explore it and see, does this feel good to me? Do I enjoy it? Can I let go of limiting beliefs I have around it or even bad? experiences I had in the past and start to build up, go slow, explore, and see what feels good. Remember, if you have vaginal pain, you do not have to live with vaginal pain. It is something that has been really understudied for women and oftentimes they go to their doctors and there's not a lot of accurate information, but you can find someone who can help you on the path to healing. It might be a pelvic floor physical therapist. who could help you figure out where is this pain coming from? Is it tightening of your pelvic

floor? A lot of us don't realize that we are chronically tensing our pelvic floor and therefore we don't even know that those nerve endings have become a lot tighter. Or maybe we were born with an overgrowth of nerve endings in our vagina and we don't really know how to explore that. It could be hormones. There's a lot of reasons why we could have pain. But I just want women to know that you don't have to live with pain, it is not your lot in life. It is not, you know, the end of your sex life. So you can talk to your gynecologist and see if they've information about that. Pelvic floor physical therapist is a great way to start. Figure out what you could do so you can have more pleasurable sex. Thanks for your question, Bill. We appreciate you.

And thanks for being a longtime listener. Did he say he's been listening since he was 21? That's amazing to me. Thank you, Bill. that's it for today's episode thank you so much for listening to sex with emily and if you love the show please like subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcast and hey share this with a friend or a partner it might just spark something it usually does you can find me on instagram tick tock youtube facebook and x it's all at sex with emily oh and i've been told i give really good email. So sign up at sex withemly.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure.