Sex With Emily - Penis Pulses & Primary Partners

Episode Date: October 17, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by comedian and main man Ben Morrison to talk about sex toys, relationships, and so much more. Emily and Ben share a milestone in their relationship, and why cleaning up messes can actually enhance intimacy. Plus, the latest in penis sex toys, the right time to bring up a fetish to your partner, and what to do when couples therapy just isn’t working. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Adam & Eve, ThirdLove, Brooklinen, Fleshlight Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemily Follow Ben on all social: @benthemorrison For even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit: sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by comedian Ben Morrison, and we're talking about sex toys, relationships, and so much more. Topics include, want to have a better sex life? Start by making your bed. What to do when couples therapy isn't really working? Fetishes. When to bring up your love for pantyhose, and why cleaning up messes can actually enhance intimacy in your relationship. All this and more, thanks for listening. They call them in a bag on me. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm off here. I'm so, I'm wrong.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. MUSIC You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemmy.com, check out our website because there's a lot of amazing information there that will change your life. Also you can find us on social media. It's at Sex with Emily across the board, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and please, please

we love when you subscribe and iTunes. That helps us make a better show and make more shows for you. And also when you comment, we love that, and give us five stars. That's amazing. You can also listen to us on Spotify, Google Play, iArtRadio, all over the place. Wherever you find your podcast, we are there. So I'm here with Ben Morrison comedian

Mm-hmm special friend special Special friend yeah, that's the word. That's the worst thing you've ever better. You know you know what you mean to me in my heart I'm your special friend. Yeah, especially in my heart special to me special friend right court documents say that she described him as a quote special friend I'm glad to be that for you. You are. What would you like me to call you? You're my special friend. I mean, you're technically, yeah, you're my boyfriend. But I, for whatever I don't love it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no a thing, like, leading with that or my, I don't know. Anyway, well, I just feel like I felt that it's just, it may be

probably relating to your longstanding attachment issues, but we don't have to talk about that. Okay, good. No, I'm sure it does, but I was actually thinking about it deeper than that. Yeah. How do you talk about me if you're talking? So deep. I feel like, um, it's because, you know, Ben, I used to feel that being in a relationship I feel like it's because you know Ben I used to feel that being in a relationship took away my Strength and took away my power and my individuality like how could I be my best self when I was on the climb and very much in my masculine all these years Yeah, I'm working my heart. There was a boyfriend. I just felt like it's to be independent and to be like that was my straight the power and I didn't really And it's been a long time since I've realized how an even intellectually understood it for my own life How or at least you can enhance you enhance it. Yeah, these people are not but I still don't love it

They're not listening to vulnerability with Emily You know, I'm saying like Which is it served me my my attachments. You've served me very well for serving others. Oh very true Very true. You're your inability to commit has led to a deep dive into the sexual research that America has needed It's true. I was like I'm not gonna commit to anyone but my listeners and sex in theory So yeah, but then here you are but then Someone came along and saw your ass across a crowded view. It's true, Benny.

And now we're here. Well, I'm glad you're here today. Uh-huh. Because I wanted you to come in and talk about being special friends. Yeah. So Ben, you've been on the show in a while since our great trip to Greece.

Yeah, that's been a while, since our, so I thought you had to come by. Santorini Live. That was so fun. After the summer wrapped, I did this insane apartment cleaning slash purge that just kind of happened and once it started, I committed to it. And where I just got rid of layers and layers of just crap. I've been holding on to deep clean apartment, finished the entire thing, and then it was

time to talk about your purge. Well, yeah, exactly. And I was a little envious your purge. Yeah, exactly. And I was a little envious because I have been living in this, so I moved to a house about a year and a half ago. It's almost two years. And a beautiful Emily-sized house in an amazing location. I mean, literally, it's a whole house, but it's Emily-sized and it's adorable,

just like you are. But. But. But I moved in and I've never had a, how I was coming from, I don't know, I'm excited. I'm a bit sure. I've never had furniture, right? I've been busy, it's been a very busy for you.

And I'm not a natural like homemaker and decorating. I don't walk into and go, this is how it should look. I'm much more about people and connections. And I want things to be comfortable and cozy and have it feel like my home. But time has gone by and I haven't bought any furniture. It's true. I haven't done anything to it really.

And so as a result, there's a lot of systems in place, things have kind of piled up. There was an attempt earlier in the year to do something about it. I tried to hire to throw money. I tried to hire someone to help me. And what I realized is that your home, much like many things in life, you can't,

you have to figure out what you want. I live there, I know, but I couldn't, the project was over, there were a lot of things that were wrong with the place and that didn't work. You couldn't reach any of my closets because the things were too high, so I had to get on stools or I got a hanging rack because I couldn't reach any of the things. So for a year, it's all, just things were piling up that I couldn't do with. I didn't know Ben worked, you had a drill. I knew he has a drill, but not like a drill.

Oh yeah, it's cordless, I can detach it. To make a metaphor that your listeners will understand, your home is a lot like your vagina. You have to spend a lot of time in it, really thinking about what feels good. Exactly. It's so good, Benny. I love how your new sexual analogies are good.

Oh yeah, I'm doing a vaginal redecorational show. Come on, flip this veg. So, yeah, before the vagina lift, it looked like this. And now, what I do like is all of your knowledge that you retain such a great knowledge and depth around around all the sex. So I've ever used like you remember them, you use them, you actually imitate them. Well, speaking of sex. Oh, do yeah They want to hear my womanizer impression. This is yes. All right Do it goes the South smart tell technology because the womanizer turns off and on with your skin has this thing so it's

with your skin, it has this thing, so it's skin. Oh, holy shit, what is this thing? It's really good. And I'll be like, maybe I grew up with a pivot tonight, babe. Like, I love that you, I feel like we're really sharing hobbies now. So anyway, we've gotten into my house, and it was like some kind of mental block. I couldn't, when I have two hours free in the weekend, and I was like, no, I'm going to lower my clock, it just, it piled up. And I was, it got to be a problem that was really, when you're, and also just like when

you don't know your vagina, like you're not connected, I didn't know my home, I didn't know. I was never relaxed got to be a problem that was really, when you're, and also just like when you don't know you're a dyno, like you're not connected, I didn't know my home, I didn't know, I was never relaxed when I got there. I need to, I need to relax, like everywhere I go needs to be kind of chill, because in my brain, Zana was like that. So I was getting home and I was like, oh, I got to, I couldn't find things,

leaving the house, it got kind of a mess. And I would go so far as to say, kind of affect our relationship. That did. You know, it's because it was like, there was, because it was like there was no decompression from, there's no decompression from where you live, you know, and you need decompression. Yes.

You're like, you're a little hummingbird. And you're, you know, in much like a hummingbird, they're always one hour away from starvation. See, that is like me. Yeah. Right now I'm starving. Starving, you never eat. I don't know why you don't eat.

I don't know why you don't make getting up and eating part of the routine But maybe now that you've purged your kitchen I got rid of everything last night right so it's been very healing so to have someone so Ben came over this weekend and we I Pulled a thread that I knew Could not be undone like your garage was kind of the the closet of yeah, you're getting tense right now I know and he has this tiny little Emily size garage. It's adorable, but let's just say the things that she didn't want to deal with were basically chucked

in there. And then a designer that she worked with who didn't know how to deal with all of Emily stuff just boxed it up and chucked that in there. So it wasn't just my stuff that actually used. So for five months, I haven't been able to find things that were mine. And everything got out of order.

It was almost like there was like a mini earthquake in my house and thrown it in the garage. Like a really cute photo of you wearing adorable little blue game dress that a barbecue. You're trying to reach something and you're actually climbing over like actual mountains. Of trash in my garage.

Your possessions. Mm-hmm. I mean like. It was crazy. And it's been like that for five months. So every day, I'm like, I should really be doing the garage or whatever the home of, like, I should be. I think because the knowledge that any actual deep dive

into the house would have to involve untangling that garage, that became such an overpowering thought for you that it kind of paralyzed you and not really ever tackling it in any real way. So, like, I knew that you needed to, it was time. Like I had just done it. And so, I'm not done.

And I've been slept now and been doing it, though. It feels amazing. Like I'm telling you, I have clarity. I've got rid of a lot of things and I've been able to, yeah. You get purge happy. You get like addicted to purging. You're like, you start throwing away trinkets

and then you just look around your house. You're like, I don't need a bad. I'm gonna purge the bed I'm sleeping on the floor right But you're in it. That's what I wanted you're in it now like where you're really obsessing about the space and making decisions And it's painful and you're tired. You stay up all night and you listen to good music and you get rid of stuff It's true, but once we started cleaning out your garage, it became clear, the volume of sex toys. Better.

Sort of, I'm not a border, but I have like literally every sex toy. I've ever had pretty much. But they're just, they're in every nook and cranny. Like I'd lift up a box being like, oh, you know, more like Christmas wrapping and then, oh, under it. Oh, yeah, there's a rave. Exactly. There's a lot of boxes and I say the boxes and like, oh, under it. Oh, yeah, there's a rave. Exactly, there's a lot of boxes and I save the boxes

and I'm like, oh, I want to show people. Cause here's the thing, whenever I get these sex toys, I always think I love them and I'm grateful. I actually did do a part year, I'm doing this for 13 years, I don't have every sex toy, but I probably have most of them for the last seven, eight years.

So I always save everything because I think, for my, I am really always thinking about the show cause that has been my life less than having a man about the show I'm thinking I'm gonna save the boxes and the packaging because I want to like Take video and take pictures and show people all this cool stuff and a lot of times doesn't happen Because just so life is so I've saved them and we just and it was we kind of went through rockdown sex to Elaine and Benton and like I was like now I can bring the Sivian back to my house the Sivians here in the office

I think yeah, see there's a whole thing and then I'm like, now I can bring the Sivian back to my house. The Sivians here in the office, I think. Yeah, Siv, there's a whole thing. And then I'm like having visions that like, the garage could be, because I don't actually use it as a garage, like that could be some kind of sex debt. I feel like the liberator bed. Having visions of you using the Sivian. Exactly.

I'm like, I'm plugged in the Siv. But I think being vulnerable and having you in and seek all that stuff has been a great release. Yeah, we found like old love notes on the the flurry of garage all crumpled out. It was like your whole life is just my entire life has been in there. So it feels but now how does it feel now? I think we're constantly peeling back these layers in life and I don't know what I was not dealing with and now I feel like it's all being released energetically and creatively speaking and

visually it's not I don't know yet but it's changing I can tell that it's changing but I think that holding onto stuff that whole book that the Japanese art of cleaning up what's her name the tart of tidying up. Oh yeah I had it but I threw it away. Exactly you're like your book is useful. The art of tidying up that she talks about, you have to hold on to something, this is being a joy or not. Like, you hold on every object in your home

and you say, this is being a joy. And if it doesn't, you throw it away. And I thought that was silly when I read it, but the truth is, even if it's like something that I like a makeup, it has stains on it or it's always kind of bent or things that just don't work for me, it could be like a wrap of, it could be wrapping paper,

it could be a socket, it could be a socket could be a purse. But if it doesn't, you just you can tell if something hasn't is a hell yes or a hell now and you just pitch it. And then just like in life and in relationships, when you, whenever you get rid of anything, it could be a partner. I'm not getting rid of you. It could be your thing. You release things that don't serve you and you bring me so much to it.

You release things that don't serve you and then all the good stuff can come in. And other things that are waiting to come into your life can come in. So I feel like there's going to be a huge shift energetically in my life now in so many ways because of this, because of all the stuff that's waiting like her right now and all the stuff I'm realizing. I think it's the growth and gonna take me be, take me to the next level here.

Yeah, I think for the people listening to this, just look around the room you're in and just throw away all your stuff. Just get rid of all of it, all of it, except the device you use to listen to sex with Emily. I think for me, why this has been, what I've realized about our relationship and this whole process is that when you try to do things for so long, I've been oriented towards doing things on my own and not asking for help and not and so you want to come to how stuff right? No, I don't have a boyfriend. I don't have anyone that I'm going to be like come over and hang this. I'm going to call a handy.

I'm not the most like, get things done. It's hard, you know, with work I can do that, but with my home stuff, it's very overwhelming. So to be like, it's a whole project and how I need to help with simple things, moving things around and drills. And I never thought like, Ben, could you, you might have a drill or you might not do this stuff. And I'm just going to figure it out on my own.

I'm going to someday sit down and figure this out and have someone help me in a way that's meaningful. And it's also very vulnerable because in my life, it's gotten so much messier now. And it's hard for me to say what I need to walk through step-by-step in each room and all these things and hard to say what I want. And I realize that and you're like, I wanna help you.

Cause I realize this has been such a for months now. It's been like this all I talk about. It's like I have to get this stuff out of there and figure it out. It's been like this kind of cluster fuck. I've got myself into and then you came in on Friday And you're just like show up with your drill Which by the way didn't know you even knew how to you had a drill that you were handy Which is like whoa year almost a year in like you have another drill that's useful

That you could use wield and that I realized that I am so So all these years of having the masculine the energy of my life is that that you could use, wield, and that I realized that I am so, so all these years of having the masculine, the energy of my life, is that my dad died when I was 19, right? I've always been on my own, and I love men, I've had many boyfriends, but not in this level of, at this stage of my life, of realizing that I, how much it helps and I need that. I love it. You built a certain empire on not needing that was like a that was a round of applause for some vulnerability that was

amazing. No you kind of built your empire your life around the fact that you didn't need. I just couldn't make time for it. I didn't think I needed it. You didn't need male energy in order to be a girl boss. Right. And that has been kind of your rallying cry. And one of the things, frankly, I find most amazing about you. But with your house, it was such a not on the on on in every way, spatially speaking, that you needed a male energy to come in and work with you to dive deep that was not able to be purchased. I think you couldn't just hire that, man. You couldn't, you couldn't, you can't hire someone to understand you deeply enough to

know that when you're going through like a box at the bottom of the drawer, what should get tossed and what like old photos of you and your friends should be framed. So where to put them, you know, I think you're so amazing at thinking huge and big that the little things of which in this case there were maybe like a thousand that needed to be thought about kind of our maybe little more confounding to you because in your head, you're busy saving the world. So. My own world gets typically, gets chaotic. Not too, not too a crazy degree.

I mean, her house is beautiful. And it looked beautiful in the house. It's just there was not. There's a no order in those systems. No, yeah, it was chaotic and how it was assembled and put together. It was chaotic and how it was expected to run as an organism,

just even the flow of the rooms and what they were to be used for, because your brain literally didn't have the time or capacity to be able to think that way because you're kind of busy saving the world. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I know what you're saying. So it took a weekend of drilling the house and you to get it into it. We did, yes, good, good sex. Oh, there's nothing like putting shelves up and then...

It's hot, like I actually get a dip in the air girlfriend. Taking a dip in the air girlfriend. There's all these studies that are like women find, you know, housework sexy and like, I don't find that, that's not, what do you, I don't need that, I was like, I don't get that, I'll empty my own dishwasher. But you with a drill and like helping, it was hot. Well, what's nice, I would like find that, that's not. What do you, I don't need that. I was like, I don't get that. I'll empty my own dishwasher. But you with a drill and like helping, it was hot. Well, what's nice, I would encourage ladies to explore the handyman fantasy with your guy

because not only will you have just a super hot role play, you'll finally get that door fixed. Everyone wins. Speaking from my own experience with the purge, right? And the week that I was doing it You I think we're a little jealous of fact that I was diving deep into my Living all I talk about is my house and you're doing yeah because for six days You'd be like how was your day? And I was like oh my god I threw this away and then I went and I got these new carpets and you were like I think you're being selfish

That's what you that's how you describe me And now you understand it. And now you understand it. No. That diving deep into your house, diving deep into your house is like going to a year of therapy in one almost insanity boundary pushing week. Because if you do the deepest of dives

where you open up that cabinet that's been closed for four years and just has crap in it and you go through that shit. It is a physical tour of your attempts at shielding yourself from reality over a period of years that just builds up like a crust and you have to chip away at it later by layer by layer and it sucks but it's really weirdly rewarding. And kind of addicting once you know that you're going so deep that you're going to clean out every closet. And that's what you're going through now. And it's raw because

it's kind of a referendum on how you got here, you know. And I think what would we talk about? Like don't fix it. Don't fix it on how you got here. Phantasy about where you're going. Yeah. You know, how did this happen? How does that happen? But then when I get into the moment, I'm like, oh, there's a lot. Every. Yeah, I just have to be like, how did this happen? How did this happen? But then when I get into the moment, I'm like, oh, there's a lot. But I, every, yeah. I just have to assure you that the whole how did this happen thing, once you're done and you have your new space set up and you're meditating in a room that you fucking love,

the whole how I got here thing will then become a useful question because you're able to answer it in a space that represents the next phase of your life and you can reflect on it in a space that represents the next phase of your life and you can reflect on it in a way that's like, wow, that really was incredible to me now, that I was living like that for such a long time and I'm so thankful for where I am right now. I should always be wary of that feeling when I think about it and never let it back into this new incredible circumstance that I'm in and I think it's's gonna, I think it's gonna change your life, honestly, finally having a space that feels like Emily Morris,

the second you walk in, you know? And that's what it is with me, dude. I walk in every night when I come, you know, if I come home from a show or from your place, I fucking, I sound a music that shit in the middle of my living room. I know, it's great. You did a good job.

But can I just, I can't get past that the, the, the selfish thing. It was only because I was so happy for you. And of course, I was, you were so happy for me, you were keeping me and being selfish. I was having intense meetings in New York. No, see, this is you know, and you were like,

I saved it for when you were away for a whole week. It was a story comment, because I was like, for four days, you were like, I got to, you were asking about anything about me, and I was listening to you. And I used to be like, how's it going to New York? I'm sorry, baby. But I was into it for you, but I was like,

I don't care, that's why I was like, can we just talk when I get back? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were like, we had a conversation that was like, Emily and I, our conversations are always really good, but sometimes when the energy is off, it's just a little like, when I travel, it's hard.

We just, yeah. I'm like, it's just talking to me. You know it's bad when you're like, so what else is new? Oh, you're fucked if you ask, so what else is new? If I said that? No, I mean, if you say that in a conversation

after something of a pause, the energy's off on that one. And then you were just like, have what we just don't talk until I get back. And I was like, what? It was like, my dad would get back, I know I just couldn't, so that was good for you. It wasn't spring. And I've done this. You've was like, my day, I'll get back there. And I just couldn't, so that was good for you.

It wasn't spring. And I've done this. You've been like 10 years since I moved here. So I just feel like it's a growth phase. So thank you for supporting me with this. And I am very proud of you. You're doing an incredible job. Because you're in it.

Yeah, I'm in it now. And I found like all the cool like stuff from the beginning to like I have every letter I've ever received from any guy I've ever dated. And we've gone in there. And there's one folder, this one huge box. All my love, it's in the garage. Every sex toy.

And then all the old sex, then the first show, the first 20 shit, like all the... Yeah, to talk about that, the memorabilia you found. It's all in there. I found the first, so when I started this, every single podcast I did, the first day of podcast, I filmed them. So I found the first, so when I started this, every single podcast I did, the first day of podcast, I filmed them. So I have the mini, the mini tapes.

Many DVDs. Many DVDs from the first 50 podcasts from 2005, which I haven't looked at because who is a mini TV, who is a camera TV. I also have a bag of mini DVDs. What do you do with those? I found some of my first notes from like writing, I used to handwrite everything, so I have these whole thing of journals and notes about the first ideas and what shows and what guests was gonna find, I printed notes from my show,

and how long it's been, and press articles, and just the climb, you know, like everything in there is this, this is from San Francisco, I'm making the show and the initial ideas and the thoughts and the guests, and every single sex club, now the most were in the office in Toy,

and just it was just, it's been in a, for so long it was about creating this show from a place of passion, and then it was the struggles of being broke and putting everything on the line to, as soon as when you go through periods like that, in your life when you struggle, like financially, for something, and then you fear a fear of first of all,

that's gonna go away. So it's a part that's like, is it really gonna, it's everything really okay? So there's a lot of that in there. Like, so if I can get rid of that I bought years ago that I don't need to, and things are gonna be okay. And trusting the process and knowing that

like you're in a different place now, so maybe feel like it was emotional too, because I was like, I'm not in the same place that I used to be and it's come so far, but for so long, it's been everything. My entire world has been about the show and making a company and it's important.

I've support people and their families, and it's amazing, but to look at that, and then realize that a lot of it, the stuff that I even talk about, right, that I need to, all the answers, all the things and all the help I have people have to start, no, giving that to myself as well. now I'm at a certain place where I can kind of have a full life. It doesn't have to just be this, I'm no longer in that struggle of that climb.

It feels good to have gotten to another place. I left you alone for the last two nights after we did the major rearrangement. Knowing that you're in it and you're just gonna spend like you're gonna stay up late You texted me like three in the morning you never stay up that late and I was like whoa she is in it Because all that's crazy stuff in the kitchen like what is that stuff? Like I don't even know what was happening And most most most random thing you found in the most random place. Oh my god. I I Don't even know what something I was gonna ask you you, like I saved weird, like, um,

I had a, I held onto a bagel slicing machine. Why? That was my granddad's, but it was, it was, it was huge. When you put it on the countertop and you'd plug it in, and it was this big box and you'd drop a bagel under the top and it would slice it. You saved it, what?

No, no. No, you didn't save, you got, that's it, that's it, that's it. That's it, that's it, that's it. That's it, that's it,'t save it. You got it. That's a thing. That's really kidding. Right. The kitchen just said everything. Like, why do I have underwear on the kitchen?

Why did you have underwear on the kitchen? No, no, there's just like piles of things that have been put in the kitchen. Why do I have underwear on the kitchen? I don't know. Like, it was like in this box, or someone had sent me, and then I was like, oh, it was like a pair

that I'd been looking for, and that was in some bag that I'd used for something else. I have a lot of little bags. I'm obsessed with, so here's the other thing that I've learned. I am obsessed with being organized. So this has been an iteration of my life. I've always wanted to be organized, right?

So I used to go to the dollar store, like in this in San Francisco too, and I would just go, because I would try to buy organizers, and I'd go study classes, like this guy wrote a book, David Allen, getting things done. I write it like six times, and I went to one of the seminars, like 15 years ago at organizing, because my dream, I have notebooks and the tabs, and I'm very 80, it's hard for me. And so I realized that most of my,

how is this attempt to fail the attempts to organize? So little organizers, then organizers to be organized, but yet I'm not, I haven't executed. So it's all I want is to have order, but yet in that striving, it's just kick. Yeah, yeah. It was a lot of unorganized boxes of organizers. Exactly.

So that's what we're all putting together. The advantage being, however, is that once you finally dive deep and get organized, you already have all the organizers. Yeah. Now it's just time to use them. You know? I think now you can wake up and look yourself in the mirror and say, I am no longer the kind of person

that will find underwear in my kitchen. You think so? I think so, I really do. You think I can find the phone before I'm leaving and the keys will have a bowl? I mean, you're still, you know, Emmy. Like, there's gonna be a little bit of that, but not like it was before.

Every time you call me, call my phone. Oh yeah. Hey Siri, call Emmy. It's fine, it's all cool. And home. We found a lot of crazy sex toys. And then you found the one that you just gave me. That pulse thing.

Exactly. That was your present. Oh baby. Tell me, what do you think of it? I knew that you, okay, so this is the pulse by high octopus, pulse three, and it's a male masturbation device. It's a guy-brainer. It's a guy-brainer.

And I, we, I needed you to try it. I was excited, and I'm glad that you were excited about it. Because you would mention to me, like, why don't they have anything for men? I'm like, wait a minute, I just got it. So high-locked, my friend Adam started, he's now a friend since he started the kind Adam who I met, he started the company like four or five years ago and I was like, this

is going to be big and now you gotta get your back. It's basically a robot that hugs you dick and has a seizure until you orgasm. Yeah, that sounds amazing. It's pretty cool. So it targets the Frenulum, which is, I think it's interesting that men don't know the name, which kind of the clitoris. The Frenulum. Frenulum at REN.

And, F is a Frank. And penis? Who the hell's thinking of these terms for my junk? My Frenulum, which is on my penis? What? I don't know why they named it the Frenulum. What do you like the G-spot named it for Gravenberg, like a male doctor? Wait, that's named after a dude.

So if I found it, you'd be like, oh, hit my B-spot. Yeah, exactly, but you didn't yet. Whoa. No, you have. I know you're saying. Take that back. You have, it's all good.

How could you say that? That'd be funny. You find all the spots. The Frenelum is the most sensitive part of the map. I have made you scream like you're walking in on a loved one getting murdered in front of your face. Remember, remember Greece and the cave? Remember that? Yeah. I know you love talking about orgasms. It's fun. They're great.

Yeah, I know. So you were talking about how I have never found a G-Spot? Yeah, no, you have found it. It's fine. But you're frenulum. The men have it underneath the tip of their penis and people don't We call them a benulum. Yeah, much better Yes What's called that who's red yes, so the pulse goes on Mabinulum and I turn it to

You like your friend every guy but I what right and dude turbo mode. Oh my god. It's intense It's a little it's sometimes it's doing tense. I'm like do I want to go use Where does it feel like those for the friend? No, it's a sensitive spot like I'm saying under the tip a little on the underside of the penis Uh-huh, it's where the the tip means a shaft. That's a funny one for everyone doesn't know yet But you always know when the tip makes the sound about you who when the difference Yeah, when you always you've liked that spot in your penis before just because we didn't have a name for I don't know Though every I think many men do but they don't know that it says but so when you're masturbating on your own Do you target the frenulum? Yeah, you have to okay? I don't know that if I'm tugging from the bottom

It's just gonna wave around like one of those guys I don't know that if I'm tugging from the bottom it's just gonna wave around like one of those guys You know one of those big floppy guys in front of cardio Tops that if you start from the bottom and you're not fully fully erect It's kind of what it looks like Yeah, and I paint like I paint eyes on it and put little hands on it just like complete the metaphor Yeah, and and I offer a great discount on a 2003 Corolla. I mean, honestly, if the guys are listening and you want to try something completely different that you will use, give it a go. What does it feel like? How is it different than your masturbation

sessions? It's very different. It is very different. It's very... there's such intense concentration on the one most sensitive spot. I have found I like using it with actual motion, you know? Because you could just let it, you could just rest it upon your penis. Oh, I've got that. You have to. The lazy jerker. That's great. Yeah, but that's true.

They actually, it's actually was created for people with disabilities. So people who don't have all range of motion, they could just have a sit there and master weight their pain. It was created for people that really? That initially, it was like a medical device. I can't wait for my favorite sex toy, Emily has a house. What's that set up?

I'm gonna create a sex toy. You have made a promise to me that once I help you get your home set up, you and I are going to start an exploration journey together. Right. So that's another interesting thing, which I wasn't going to ever bring up, but I'm clearly I mean, go for it. I know this is my life. Yes, we're going to start journey because all that I've actually become one of my losers

that my boyfriend has asked me to to make it more interesting right now when I've been become one of my listeners that my boyfriend is asking me to make it more interesting right now when I've been super overwhelmed with things. So that's the thing. It's great. I gotta do that. Look, I love you. I'm happy to help you ferry you into this next phase of being, you know what I'm saying?

Like big things are coming up for you. And it's, I think if we do one thing you and I is like we have a unique ability to tunnel into each other's psychosis and be like, dude, if I can give you a hug, it's gonna be okay. Yeah. You know? That's true.

Thank you. You're my best friend, Yolom. Now that your new house is dawning, do you think you're gonna be one of those people that makes their bed every morning? Yes, that is one of my goals. That is one of my goals. That is one of my goals, Ben.

All those self-help coaches and all those performance coaches, they're always like, make your bed every morning, like successful people make their bed. Happy people make their bed. So they're make your bed for a better sex life, was in the news this week. Make your bed can actually boost your sex life and help your relationships,

according to a new study. So look at the differences between those of us who make her beds and those who are guilty of leaving the sheets untapped. So it turns out that people who make their beds have more sex. Yeah, because they have a made bed that have sex in. Obviously, but here's what's interesting that non-bed makers are identified as introverts more likely to be night people and those who make their beds are more like are morning people. So I have all the traits of a so listen, people who make their bed, these are their

profile, ready? They are a morning person, wake up without an alarm, has sex three times a week, their average nap is 43 minutes, they are, they work in the health or tech fields, they enjoy jazz, they watch episodes of House Hunters and romantic movies and, well, personally, this is make make their bed. So I'm not going to have a change. They enjoy, they enjoy jazz. Nothing, nothing goes with a tucking today, like a little Miles Davis, am I right? Fold in the corners Right I want to be a bedmaker because I'm not because here's the people who don't make their best you hate jazz I don't love jazz

They don't make their bed. They are a night person. They snooze you learn from we're getting up. They have sex twice a week Their nap is 50 minutes instead of 43. I'm most I'm not what I'm seeing time to nap They're more likely to be in business or financial fields and they enjoy rock music They watch episode of Seinfeld and comedy movies and their traits include shy moody curious and sarcastic So I don't know if this is not science here. It that just sounds like to me that people who make their bed have a job and the people who don't make their bed, either or depressed or like. Right, anyway, I'm gonna start making my bed more

just because I know that that is part of a habit of having a healthy life in the morning. I thought I don't make it, but it's a messy life. I don't necessarily make my bed as much as you just fold the comfort or back over, you know what I'm saying? The key to keeping your bed made is to tuck everything in at the front of the bed, right? So everything at the front of the bed is tucked in so it's anchored. So then you just kind of get in

and get out. You mean the foot of the bed? The foot of the bed. Yeah, the foot of the bed tuck all that in so it holds everything in the right place. And then when you sleep, you just sleep and you get up, you just toss over the bed. Yeah, the foot of the bed tuck all that in so it holds everything in the right place And then when you sleep you just sleep and you get up you just you know toss over the covers You just throw it over and then just and then just fold it back down Got it. Thank you True boom life fixed life fixed now you can enjoy rock music enough ill-gilt my exactly Tegative jazz concert We're gonna take a quick break.

Go make your bed if you want to do if you don't, no pressure, and we are going to be answering your emails. Back with Ben Morrison. BEND MORSON. BEND MORSON. All right, Ben Morrison. We're gonna be able to find you, what's your? I am Ben the Morrison on all social platforms.

That's true. In places. So on all social platforms. That's true in places So check him out Because he's funny You can't get me out already. No, we're gonna answer your mouth. Okay, so I love answer questions So please send them along you can text ask Emily all one word to seven nine seven nine seven nine You can also go to our website sexbootmeme.com, click the Ask Emily tab, include your name or age, where you live, and how you listen to the show. This is from Amelia, 33 in San Francisco. Hey Emily, I love the show. I'm currently 33 and in a long distance open relationship. My boyfriend and I have known each other since

high school, but this first time we've been together outside of friendship. I originally brought the subject of an open relationship to the table to help with the long distance, but I'm starting to feel like I'm the secondary and the new partner is the primary. My boyfriend is in a casual relationship with a 46 year old woman who is a showgirl and the physical embodiment of perfection he talks about her all the time and never seems to have the same excitement when referring to me. Even their sex life is more active when they're together,

and she also lives in another state. It's breaking my heart and making me feel like I'm worthless. Is this a sign that open relationships aren't for me, or is it just a rough patch to work through? Okay, Amelia, everything you're feeling here makes total sense. So, you're in a long distance relationship. And I understand why you might have said

open relationship could help us out. We're not in the same city together. You want to have sexual away. I want to have sex and more away. The challenge is here, when you're in an open relationship, I mean, when you're in a long distance relationship, first of all, you want to make sure that you actually have plans to see each other frequently as you need to, but also you've

plans eventually moved to the same city and that you're really working on that part of it because the sex can't be as present. You have to enhance intimacy in other ways on the phone using FaceTime, all these things. There's all these great ways now to be in a long distance relationship. However, an open relationship, I think, isn't the best solution for people in a long distance relationship. If you haven't talked through all of these things and practiced like, what are our boundaries? Are you really allowed to see what other people, you know, more than one? So they're going to be sleepovers, you know, you need the boundaries. So it sounds to me what you're realizing is you have a boyfriend, you love him, but this isn't working for you. Whatever long, whatever open relationship you've negotiated isn't working.

So I think you have to go back and talk to him and let him know exactly how you're feeling and that maybe you need to restructure this arrangement because that wouldn't feel great to me if I was like, you're not, when you're not having sex with your partner in your long distance thing. And then they're out with someone who's jealous of, of who's hot like you don't need all this information so you probably just need to Amelia handle this setup of the open relationship part differently when you're in long distance. Part of the kink of open relationships is the coming together of partners where wall you're

having sex you kind of discuss the other experiences you've had. It's the turn on of this is what you did and now it's our time together. And with the secondary partners, you know, you and your primary partner, if it is going to be a true open relationship, need to be physically together frequently, much more so than secondary partners, or you're just setting yourself up for disaster because you're doing this in a long distance relationship. You're stripping yourself of the ability to have a lot of physical proximity to your partner, where you can sexily and lovingly discuss experiences with secondary partners.

You kind of set yourself up for disaster with this. And I think these are, this is the natural outcome of the situation that you decided would be the best answer. So my advice is to, in title break up and stay friends while he does his thing. I don't think they need to say break up, but what I think is that not everybody. But the alternative, lives together.

No, but they could decide that they're really, that they really actually wanna make it work and they're not gonna no longer be open and they're gonna work on their intimacy. They're gonna work on it in him. But I think the failure of that is probably what led to them having this arrangement in the first place. We don't know. We don't know how long they've been together

and how long it's been long distance. For some people, they're like, I just feel bad that we can't always have sex. Let's try this out. And without having a stronger foundation, like I don't know if they were living in the same city for five years. And then that happened. That might be different. But I know they've known each other since high school. But if you don't have that basis and that open relationships, swinging, all that threesomes, you have to be held on your house. If your relationship has to be built on rock and not on sand, you have to have this very strong foundation to use house analogies throughout the show today. But you have to actually both live in the house built on rock. Great. Or even the foundation has to be

strong. I'm not sure that they have that yet, so they have to go back to, yeah. And not all couples want to have sex and talk about it. Correct. But I think- You know, that's your thing that you like. You hear about long distance relationships a lot. You hear about open relationships a lot,

but you rarely hear about long distance open relationships. Oh, right. And there's a reason for that. Yeah, because you're basically outsourcing the sex, which is the way the gym needs. Is detitle the relationship, assume that he's your best friend. And if in the absence of an actual title in the relationship,

and continued exploration in your separate worlds now, which is now legal, you just can't take it and have to be together, then you're in love and you need to rearrange your life to facilitate that. But the way it's going now with this situation, you're only gonna drive yourself nuts. This is harmful part because, it really, you're saying to me,

it's breaking my heart and making me feel like I'm worthless. So what I feel is I don't want a negative pattern to get set up here where you're feeling worthless and that this isn't working for you, but if you can kind of, you guys can agree that this no longer serves you the open part and go back to just, see you have to talk to him and see how he feels about this because this particular arrangement isn't working and that's totally okay.

Well, I mean, I think he's probably going to want to keep this arrangement going because he has this person who's a show girl to have all the funny wants with. And then he can come running back to you for all the emotional support. So I think it's a great situation for him. I don't think he's there's not. But he might think she's here to hear, can they be glad they're playing this out? They might have discussed the fact that

if it gets hard for either one of us, we're going to keep checking in, we're going to want to talk about how it's going. And so this might have just been having a month now. And she's like, oh my god, he's seeing someone a few months. So I just think she has to share with him. He would be like, babe, I will drop the show girl for you. Let's get back to this. Or they might say,

you're right. Let's keep it open. I think we both know that's not going to happen. I think the well has been poisoned at this point and they need to detail their relationships so they don't go crazy. Okay, bad. Yeah, that could be the could be an option. That's a true. Yeah. The male and female perspective. It's very hard to get back to when she's always been picturing him with someone else It's all right. I agree there could be a lot but they got it if she's this if she's this jealous and hurt right now

This is only gonna get worse if they keep on with this So thank you, but I think you just have some serious talk to them and be honest with yourself And if you have no plans move to the same city you're not gonna see each other frequently and this doesn't work for you Don't say the relationship get some more information. This is from Confused in the Midwest. Dear Emily, I'm writing you because I'm madly in love with my wife. We've been married for a few months, but have had intimacy issues for years.

We've been to couples therapy. The therapist suggested we have more sex, but because eventually she will become more comfortable. This had the opposite effect. She began to let her mind and body part ways. After each love-making session, she cried her eyes out. A couple of years ago, she remembered being sexually assaulted by a family friend of the child.

She said she blocked it out, but something sparked her memory. I'm stuck, Emily. The last thing I want to do is leave my wife, and I'm afraid I will, if she does not try to repair the damage from that piece of shit family, remember as a kid. Being physical is how I show my love love and I want to protect my wife. I understand this is a traumatic experience and I'm willing to do what it takes. My wife thinks we'll get this, we'll get better without therapy. That is what we've tried for the past two years with minimal improvement.

I have no idea what to do anymore. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Okay so here's the thing about sexual trauma. Untreated trauma really doesn't go away. It stays with you. And so she really needs some more time and therapy by herself.

So it can be really hard for to deal with it on her own. So just let her know that this is not, I'm not just saying this. If we talk to any other experts, trauma expert therapist, trauma therapist, she's got to do the work. So it sounds like it's good that it came out in couple therapy, but this is the kind of work she, again, she has to do on her own, like EMDR

therapy is great for people to trauma. There's a lot of other things. So I think it's going to be a slow process. You have to be patient and learn to be really supportive in other, in other ways with her while she's going through this, because I know that you love her. And it sounds like she really, she does want to do the work, but it can also discuss a very, like, you know, trying time to realize you had trauma, which a lot of people are going through right now. I mean, the good news is that I don't, I think this is a lot less a problem with your new marriage than it is with her stored trauma.

So I think this is going to be your opportunity to as a new husband, man up and hold her hand through what has got to be a long and dedicated course of her own personal therapy about this. Because if she's crying after sex, it doesn't have to do with you. It's relating to a lot of horrible memories that she's never processed and that's going to keep happening until she gets into a long and dedicated talk therapy program that you are going to be loving and supportive through. If you want to get your sex life back,

and you want your wife to not be haunted by this. The really important thing here in Ben, you remind me this when you said this, is that this could be the thing that if you really show up and you are the loving, supportive husband, as she's going through this, you're gonna build communication and enhance intimacy through this one experience

that I think your sex life will be so much better, deeper, more satisfying than it ever would have been before had you guys not get into this issue right now. So you could look at it that way that it's going to be serving you for a lifetime of connection. So right now, I think you gotta hold her hand, support her, if she refused to go to therapy, I have a problem with that.

I think that that she has to wanna go and do the work, but if you're with her and supporting it, I think it's gonna, it will heal her and heal your relationship in a life. Yeah, Emily is having much stronger orgasms now that she sees me. Also, is the man that fixed her house. It's true.

I feel more love for you. Okay, so this is from Ben at 25 in Florida. Not me. Another one. Hey, Emily, new subscriber to your show and it's life-changing. Recently, I broke up with my fiance because I noticed she had mentally checked out. Our sex life has plummeted and I knew she wasn't happy. She was okay with the breakup because she knew that she had given up on the relationship. We ended up having sex the night of our break up and a couple

more times since then. We're currently still living and sleeping in the same bed while trying to figure out our living situation and how to split everything. I'm honestly still madly in love with her, but I just knew that she wasn't happy but I regret the breakup. She wants to continue having fun and hanging out since we're both best friends and we're still Honestly, still madly in love with her, but I just knew that she wasn't happy, but I regret the breakup. She wants to continue having fun and hang it out since we're both best friends and we're still living together. We continue to go about kind of like nothing has changed and it's really messing me up. We work on every level together, but she believes that we just don't click, and she loves me, but she's not in love. She's acting very hot and cold, loving, and then now acts like she wants to live together. Well, also finding another place.

It's confusing me entirely and would greatly appreciate any advice. Sorry for how long this one was. That is, then it was long. I understand what you're going through. So I understand there's a lot going on in here ahead. She's back and forth. She's back and forth. It doesn't sound like this is the healthiest situation for you right now.

She wants to break up, but you guys are together and she sells feelings for you because when you break up with someone, you still love them. Like, it's not the end of it, right? Well, unless it's a horrible breakup, I know you've had some of those bad, but I feel like it's still loving enough

that you guys can share a bed, but she's just that sure and confused, which sounds like that still hasn't changed. You just happen to be living together. And so she's a love to share a bed. Get out of there. He's got to move out as soon as possible. Get out of there.

Stop it. What are you doing to yourself? I've been in the situation. And it was the most toxic situation ever. Yeah, where I broke up with someone. We were still living together and sure. But why? But you're doing that because you probably can't afford to about.

I was doing that because I was biting my time with someone that I knew I needed to get away from. And it was really only a month. I mean, it was horrible. And that was, it was the most toxic situation ever. And that was without the other party thinking that everything was hunky-dory and we could keep doing this in the situation. If you're madly in love with her, this is torture to you. You need to go in state of friends place.

You need to go and get a hotel. You need to have her go state of friends place, but you have got to stop sharing a bed and you have to cut off contact with her. Because whatever she's going through is causing her to need all kinds of emotional support that are contrary to where you are and where you're able to give. And you're warping yourself to be able to facilitate

her need for emotional support and all these crazy random levels and you can't do it anymore. Kind of sounds like this is really personal for you. You've had this exactly what happened to you. But I think this is a, see what I wasn't sure here is if he still loves her, said he's still like, I mean, I'm not sure that Ben, hold on a minute.

I think you're, here's a thing. I didn't see all the damage and the manipulation that she's doing, but because I, my brain goes to like, oh, maybe like, there's still communicating on level, but you are right to look at this and say that she, she's saying, hey, I don't want to be committed to you, but I still want to own you. I was that, I was like that girl.

I've done that. Yeah, I just in a way of like, I wasn't committed, but I still love you, let's not be in love. I just, they're 25. So I agree if they can move out, he just, he's got to move out, get his own place, cause it's not going to change.

And then if you guys are meant to be together in your separate places and it works out, you know what? I will leave a minute. Here's my prediction. You listen to us, you take our advice, you move out, you establish your own life, you have probably the hardest year of your entire life, but then you get on your feet and you're doing great.

The phone rings a year later. It's her. She went on her little fucking journey of finding out that people suck and low and behold, she has not been hugged and snuggled like you snuggle her, and she doesn't like watching Netflix with anyone else, and maybe she got involved with some weird people, and she's got a fucking STD or something like that. Trust me, get out of her toxic path right now,

establish a life independent of this whole situation, thrive, and watch her come back to you. Wow, Ben, does that happen to you? Yep. Did she have an STD? No. No. No, I just thought I'd throw that in for some flair.

She gave it, no, but... But the point is, I got away from a toxic situation like that and reestablished my entire life, and it was difficult. It was the hardest two years of my life, the most rewarding tears of my life. And at the end of those two years, after I'd done the work and walked through the fire, I met you.

And because I had done the work and gone through the fire, I was able to hold on to you because I deserved someone like you because I had done the work and walked through the fire and gotten away from toxicity. You have to do that now too, Ben. Wow, he's like your soul brother here. I think that was really, thank you Ben. Thank you for sharing that and for being vulnerable.

I think he's gotta take care of himself. You gotta go, you gotta be about it. To have a place and when couples say together because they can't afford, go stay with your friends. It's not a real break up if you are sharing a bet. This is from Mark, 32 in Chicago. Hi Emily, I have a question about my penis and my fetish. Is it normal to have a slight curvature to the penis?

Is it caused by masturbating or is it normal? I am in a new relationship. The connection is great and the sex is amazing. I'm a little nervous to mention my pantyhose fetish. I don't wear them, I just enjoy the way they look and feel on women. Should I just keep this to myself? Should I slowly drop hints? What's your advice?

Thank you for creating a sex positive atmosphere. Okay, Mark, here's the thing about your penis. Some penis has to have a curve. It's totally normal. It's not from masturbating, it's just how you're born. And I actually think a curvy penis can be very beneficial if you are looking for g spots or something like that or just in life. That's exactly my note too. If you're a guy, if you're a guy, guy viewers to the left a little bit, spin yourself to the right when you're doing the do, and that little curve is gonna hit a G spot in a way

that no penis before ever has. Make your curve work for you, buddy. Make work for you. We're not looking at your penis. It's like men are looking at your penis way more than women are. How many perfectly straight Dildos have you seen they all got a curve and your dick has that same curves you got a dildo dick son use it

Here's my thing. I think the more comfortable that we all are talking about these things The sooner if that's really your fetish you're calling it a fetish a fetish means you actually it's a requirement for you to orgasm So I think that if you want to be honest and truthful and you like this person, I think you got to talk you can just bring it up. You could talk about it. I wouldn't say this is the first or second date thing unless you guys are sleeping together right away. But as long as you know, you're gonna get intimate. Be like, hey, let's talk. So what are you into sexually? See what they say? You can go, yeah, you know what? I got this in for panels. Do you have anything? think it'd be so hot to see with them?

Done, like don't make it weird because it's not weird to you. So I feel like the more comfortable you could be about and just say, would you be into that or I think it's hot or, you know, I don't know, like just normalize it and have a conversation about sex that it will, it's gonna be great practice for you Mark

because this is your thing, like this is with you. So I think the more that's the thing you come up, you talk about in every new relationship, like, and if the person's not into it as you freak out, you could probably just, you know, explain to what it's meant to you. You don't have to rush. She doesn't have to repair any hose, maybe having pantyhose presence would serve you. But I think, um, just the more comfortable we all get talked about these things that we think our partner is going to freak out about, you're going to find that nine to ten times your partner is not going to run away and freak out. They're actually,

that whatever you're afraid to talk to your partner about is actually gonna make you closer or you close together. But take it slow, you're gonna know when you're with someone you could trust and bring it up. I also don't sound like, none of this sounds like it's a big deal at all. None of it.

So you gotta, you gotta curvy, you gotta a little curve in your Johnson and you like stockings, man, big deal. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, I wouldn't like sit her down and be like, we should talk. Just be like, if you're looking at a photo, it's just basically just to hang out, be cool.

And if you see a girl in a photo or on TV or something who's wearing some sweet pantyhose, just be like, that is hot. And then they'll be like, oh, what? And you'll be like, those pantyhose are really, those are hot. And then she'll be like, oh my God, should I wear them? And you'll be like, oh my God, that'd be so great.

And like, it's not a big deal. Just point it out casually, let them take the lead and then follow up from there. And then it's like, they brought it up. Yeah, it's almost like saying, like, looking at something for Italian food, like that restaurant is just be great. Let's go try this restaurant.

Like if you point, you would point that out in a relationship, I'd love us to feel more comfortable. Like, I love if you're watching a movie or someone has, Paneo is like, I think Paneo's our hot, do you wear them? Like, I wanna fuck you're watching a movie or someone has panos, like I think panos are hot, do you wear them? Like, I wanna fuck you on a pile of feta-chini alfredo. Wait until top chef and let them do the work for you. Exactly, whatever works.

This is from age 36, Austin, Texas. Hey Emily, I love your podcast. I like how naturally and openly you talk about sex and pleasure. First, let me say that I'm divorced, currently single, straight, but wishing I was having more sex. You mentioned you were able to have a vaginal orgasm with a toy. What toy did you use to recommend?

I have the womanizer, by the way, thanks for that. But the internal toys. I should have been a little bit more a little bit more. I was a little bit more. It's so good. Thanks for that. The internal toys I've tried hurt me. Number two, how do you have safe oral sex?

I really discovered oral and I love it. Can you imagine me the first time you discovered oral? That's as good. Go back to that day. I've always worried about STDs. It just does not seem fair that I gave a blowjob with a condom and he gives me oral sex without it.

Thanks in advance for your help. Okay, H, this sounds, I love your questions here because first of all, love the talk about G spots. Okay, what did I use? The first time I think it was the um yeah the end joy pure wand which is a dildo it's an amazing steel dildo the we vibe rave is awesome for finding your juice but it's like it's it has all those little facets and faces on it it's the gspot gps it. It is the G-Pen, there's all my choice.

It is the G-Spot GPS. So I would try the RAVE and go slow, patient. It also do your cagal exercises. I'm telling you, doing your cagals will help you let G-Spot and help you find your G-Spot. With the RAVE, they can pair it with the Wii Connect app and they can swipe through the different patterns and intensities to find the one

that most appropriately stimulates or use fun. But I noticed my toys so well, you're right. This is what happens when you go out with them. It really does. You're right. So you can use an app with it, which is fun. I actually love the apps. I literally wish every toy had an app now, like we can act.

Okay. And here's the thing. I love this also that you actually use condoms for all sex because for performing on a man because that is the way we're all concerned about STDs that is that you can catch it that way so it's great to use one for you You can use a condom you can use a dental dam. So when your partner's going on down on you A dental dam is great. They can still get an SED from giving you oral. And then you can also have the have you been tested

conversation. Can I have your question? Yeah, who uses dental dams? I'll help you use a dental dams. Let me tell you about this. And could they maybe think of a better name that would make people want to use it? Be like, oh, baby.

I can't wait to gently kiss your clitoris and bring you to slow, sultry climax. Now just put on this dental dam. So not hot. You're right. Dental? Nothing is sexy about dental. The word dental. Because they got it from dentist. We need a new name for it. Like I think you're right.

The dentist is scary. I don't want to think about that when I'm going down on you. Can I be honest? I agree. The only thing I want to do involving the dentist is really good. I want to fill your cavity. So here's the thing about dental and so no one uses them, but they should. No, I mean, come on. They feel good. No, here's my, they don't, they do. The clitoris, which is so sensitive with eight gazillion nerve endings, that it's a different sensation. So putting that thin,

please piece of like latex or what over you it actually Can feel good. It's like I think everyone sure you could put a vibrator over it like it feels good So if you are truly concerned. Yeah, but I mean it would feel good to stick my dick into a can of big beans But I'm not gonna do that. I actually I think I want to try that I have a can at home. I was never gonna eat them. Yeah, I thought you men expect right. Hey, baby. I'm fucking the beans How sure to be careful? Listen, I but I but people don't typically do this, but I'm telling you I've tried it and doesn't feel great You fucked the camera feels great. No

Did you don't get cut on the metal can? Oh? Yeah, no, I probably put them in a microwave safe First don't hurt your junk first of all have the have you been to has a conversation and dental tams, though they don't sound sexy, they might feel good to you, but that's really your solution to it. And you could also take a condom and make your own dental dam by cutting off the tip. And then let me go back to your G-spot real quick, is that it took me time to find it. Make sure you have clitorargasms first if you already have orgasms that way. So yeah, you like the womanizer.

Dude, use the womanizer. Get turned on. It's great to have something under your back. So you can use a pillow, lift up, you can lift your pelvic floor up, that can help. Just try different angles and move that toy around. Like, it's kind of, if you get the rave, like, it does have these facets and faces because all the, the, the, the, you need, you need clearal stimulation while also being able to stimulate your clitoral legs, which extend past the vulva.

It's so true. It's like a, it's like a pdia, a volunteer. Go slow and, uh, reapply, reapply, use lots of lube. I love lube. Be patient. You got me into lube. I did, right? You didn't use the loop before. My whole entire night's in this building loop, that one, it's way too much right now. All the bottles we put together? Oh, yeah, it's really just the thin system Joe ones that tip over and then kind of open in the drawer.

And you're like, why does this shit sticky? And why does it smell like watermelon? Okay, I think we're done here. I think we're done here. Jesus. This podcast has been, it's like playing that old game, the Oregon Trail. We finally made it to California. A couple of kids died at Disaday, along the way. Thank you, Ben the Morrison.

But people can, you're doing a show at the improv in LA. Yeah, very excited to, I can announce this now. It's official. My show's Funny is now at its new home on the Hollywood improv, the best night of live comedy you are ever going to see. And the next one is October 28th, Super Funny's getting the Super Spooky.

And what you listening should do, because the lineup is gonna be huge, big names, amazing show, go to Super Funny. Show, and join the private email list right now, because I am going to be huge, big names, amazing show. Go to superfoney.show and join the private email list right now because I am going to release the block of comp tickets for my people and the lineup very, very soon. So you want to be the first ones to find out about it. So you can grab some of them comps before they fill up and they will fill up. So go to superfoney.show, join the email list. I will only email once about the show and be on it. So you can come out last, Angela, October 28th, the Hollywood improv 9 p.m. for super funny.

It's gonna be huge. We'll be funny. Very funny. Cool. Okay, thanks everyone. Thank you to my amazing team. Thank you, Ken, Sarah, producer Jamie and Michael. And thanks everyone for listening.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com.