Sex With Emily - Penis Rings and Kinky Confidence

Episode Date: August 12, 2017

The first step to better sex and relationships is realizing something needs to change. On today’s show, Emily is here to help you make that change to have the best sex yet! Want to be confident when trying something new in bed? Confused about liking your girlfriend’s fetish? Is it time to admit, “he’s just not that into you?” These are just a few of the common conundrums Emily gives her sage advice about. Plus, she and Jamie compare their recent excursions with a penis ring as well as sharing some Masturbation Routine winners. Don’t miss it! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show free: We-Vibe, UVee, Intensity, Magic Wand Rechargeable  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm helping you navigate your sex and relationship questions. Topics include, how to get your confidence up to try something new and bad, went to finally admit that he's just not that into you. Why you should learn to quickly get over rejection and celebrating our masturbation month winners. All this and more, Thanks for listening. You're listening to Sex with Emily, We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemle.com. You can easily subscribe to the podcast, our newsletter, check out the store. We talk about a lot of fun cool products on the show.

You can find them all there. And now you can find us on the iHeartRadio app or on the website, which is exciting. I love picking all these platforms because you can now find us, of course, on iTunes, Google Play, SoundCloud, Spotify, you know, all the places where you listen to your podcasts, we will be there. So thank you everyone for listening and also for reviewing the show. We appreciate when you review us on iTunes. I know it takes some time to do, but it helps slot and we love you. Okay, so it's been an exciting week here at Sex with Emily because you know, we get a lot of stuff delivered to the office and I love it all. We have so much fun here. That's why you should check out our Snapchat and our Instagram stories because you can see our unboxing of all the

exciting things that we get here. I got some crazy cool nipple clamps from Unbound, but Unbound also sent us our subscription box. Now, I don't know how much I've talked to you guys about this. I was like, I have to lead with this because I have a really cool subscription box that comes out every three months so you get it four times a year. And it's like the perfect gift, either for you and your partner,

or you know, for a friend of yours getting married, or just for any friends that want to spice it up. Hey, you can also get it for yourself because every few months you're gonna get a box from unbound. It's just like sexy things. It's like could be a vibrator, it could be lube, it could be what else? Butt plugs. They've got some, they've got some body lotion, they have some really cool, like I said this, I mean, some nipple clamps, I mean there's gonna be some great stuff in each box. And this is the perfect way to spice things up.

It gets discreetly delivered to your doorstep. It's beautifully packaged, whether you're the gift giver or the recipient who doesn't want like something hot and sexy delivered to their house four times a year. And these boxes don't disappoint. So check it out on my website or go to sexwithemily.com slash subscription box. It's a good time. The other thing I wanted to mention before we get on with the show is that I love my UV. I finally got it. And we were doing a kickstarter for them last year. So it's the UV cleaning system. It clean charges and sanitizes your toys, right? We talked

about it. It uses UV light. So you easily, you never have to deal with any of those problems that we have a sex toys because while sex toys are all about pleasure, right? We just want to use them to like have more gasms and be happy and join the world. The two biggest bummers are when they're, you haven't cleaned them yet and they die. They're not charged. You can't find the charger, you can't find a cleaner, you're like, I'm not gonna use them. So I actually have the UV now in my house, it's stored right next to my bed,

and it just so freaking cool, takes 10 minutes to sanitize your toys, and you store them in there, has it a lock on it, right? So all my toys are ready to go, and here's what happened. So I was having sex as I sometimes do in my bed at my house, and I realized that I wanted to use the new, the Wevi Pivot, which is their new

Cochrane, which is oh my god, you guys it's amazing Have you ever used a Cochrane yet? Oh my god, Jamie's here with me. She's a smiley image She's gonna have you you talked about this. I don't know if I talked about it with you, but I definitely used it It's epic, right? It was great It's so good Okay, so the first okay, so good. It's okay. So the first, okay. So anyway, it's a great, if you haven't used a penis ring or if you only have like one

of those ones that you can throw away or whatever, this one is rechargeable. One size fits all. It just has a lot of power, but you can control it with different motors, different intensity levels. First, I'm used to, I didn't have a penis around, so I just used it as a, as a literal vibe, which was perfect for that. And then I had a penis in my bed, so I was like, oh, let's try this cock ring.

And so I, I was like, oh my God, and usually I have this moment, even, even I am not perfect people, so I have these moments when I'm having sex and I open up my bedside drawer and I'm like, oh God, please be charged, please be clean, please have the right Lou, like, you know, I don't want to use the flavored right now.

And sometimes my drawer is a mess, it's true. But then I remembered in the moment that I don't want to use the flavor right now. And sometimes my drawer is a mess. It's true. But then I remembered in the moment that I had just put everything in the UV like a week ago before we're out of town. And I was like, oh my God, they're literally charged and right here next to my nightstand. And you can't tell it's a beautiful box.

I opened it up, I pulled out the pivot, I pivoted. No, and I put it on his finger, it was amazing. And he had never used a toy before. Which way is that what happens? That's exactly what happened with me! Jamie, we had our first toy experience. Wait, but let me, so you're gonna get your UV too. Cause they're finally shipping you guys.

They were all sold out, it was crazy. So if you want this thing, you guys, cause really it solves every problem that you'd ever have around toys, which let's be honest, it shouldn't be about problems. It cleans stores sanitize your toys. They have the go, which is the small model that you could bring around and they have the UV play.

And it's UVclean.com, it's the perfect complement to your sex toy collection, it rocked my sex world. Because it was charged. Do you have that problem, though, Jayme? And things... Yeah, I literally just had to charge my womanizer to go for the first time. And of course, it didn't start blinking into like in the middle of like me masturbating some, like looking at the light blinking and I'm like no just wait

I'm almost there just wait don't die yeah I die? No I yeah It's like yeah It's like 60 second orgasms so it takes me Exactly Oh my god okay so you love the to go and you love the pivot so yeah the pivot is cool you guys it's the new we vibe product I love they're coming

out with a lot of cool things lately They really are We both love the pivot and we used it with partners that I never used it. And how was, did we talk about this in the show? Your experience with it, it was just a blog that you wrote. I get confused. I'm pretty sure it was just a blog I wrote, which if I do say so myself as a good reader.

It's a great blog. That's what it was. You're so, actually, I was thinking about you when I was using, no. I wasn't. Yay! I was thinking about you. Oh.

Were you, like, this is how I'm going to write about it. But tell me how did your guy respond to using a sex trade for the first time? And how did you? I mean, he really liked it. It was actually my first time using a sex trade. Oh, it's right. That's what it was.

I knew there was the first. But it was also his. He had never used one. So it was like for both of us. And he liked it. Like, he actually asked me the other day. He's like, hey, can we use that again? Like, that was really fun.

And I was like, I mean, yeah, I just like, I never remember to put it in my purse, but now I will. Right, yeah, that's amazing. Put it in your purse and then put it on his penis. So how did it, exactly pivot? It's the pivot, it's a really cool. And I've been waiting for really good penis range

to come out for years. How, well, I was on top when we used it. I was gonna ask you that, okay? So, I mean, I like that because like the grinding motion, like you can really feel like that clitoral stimulation from the vibration on it because it has like that little raised part at the top that's like the mound kind of thing.

Right, right. So that felt really good to me. I was like, this is perfect. Exactly, the perfect, when you used it. Yeah, same thing. I used it on top and I used it. I used it the same thing, the grinding and I just like, I was like, don't move.

And then we flipped over though, because it stays in place and I still and then I actually am able to work as on the bottom now too which has been a new development in my life. So yeah, I do the whole thing of like pumping my pelvic floor muscles and my kegels muscles but also grinding and pulling them in. So it was like a blended orgasm if you will. So it was amazing but I started out on top with the, yeah, so how the cock ring it basically has a motor on it, that hits the clatter-up perfectly. That's the point of it.

And the vibrations feels great to man, because I think a lot of guys think that, like I always say, that they won't like vibrations or just for women. So obviously, he liked it, he's asking for a repeat. Before I met him. He really liked it. And also, I mean, I was made sure,

like I did before I put it around him. I put the vibration up to him first to be like, is this okay with you? Because I don't think he's ever used any type of vibrating to. That's exactly what I did to. That's exactly what I did to. So I'm like, I don't know, I don't want to freak you out. Like, what if it's too much?

I just didn't, I'm like, I just don't want to have any surprises other than good ones. Exactly. Right. No one wants bad surprises. any surprises, other than good ones. Exactly. Right. No one wants bad surprises, but that's exactly a good point. That's what I do, too, is that when you're with a guy who's never used it, you have to start because I know being a professional, I'm like, turn it up, just use it however you look with a guy, like if they've never felt it before, ever, you really want to put it

on the lowest vibration and you just want to like, softly, they might even want to do it themselves, so you can like touch their shaft, you know, touch their balls a little really lightly and just let them know what it's gonna feel like. You don't just want to like slap it on their penis and start riding. Just try to respect. Oh, okay, the kid is just funny.

Okay, I'm gonna pivot here for a moment, but if you want to buy the WeviPivot, you can find it in my store on my website. Just go to Sex Family and search Pivot. Yep, yeah, and store. Okay, so let's pivot. I brought Jimmy here with me today. store on my website, just go to Sex Emily and search Pivot. Yep. Yeah. Okay. So let's pivot.

I brought Jamie here with me today. I've summoned her to the show. Back in May, we held our Sex with Emily MasterBation Month Contest. And we asked you guys our amazing audience to share your masturbation routines with us via email, why you love masturbate, and what you love about it and your about your teens. And we were so blown away by the responses. We got hundreds of them. How many do we get? Like, got like at least 150. Okay. So, and you guys were detailed and you were into it and you're creative and interesting and celebratory. And you really like, you gave us a lot of Jamie went through all of them in detail.

Yeah, I like I sat there and I read all of them and like like I said, a lot of you guys were very detailed. It was very vivid. I was picturing a lot of things. I had to stop a few times, cool down, get a drink of water. You know how it goes. They you they turned you on. They got you.

They they're masturbation stories drove you to masturbate. Yeah. And then like, I mean, not at work, I waited till I got home. I don't care. I know you don't, but you know, I'm just saying, well, you can hear everything that goes on in that spathroom. Can you?

You can, that's why, like, you know, maybe that week when you guys were gone, who knows, but I'm just saying, I'm kidding, no, I didn't, but, that's what, but no, they were really great. And they were all very different. So many different things, stuff that I never even thought of. I was actually really happy how many people celebrated in the fact that they really, really take,

it's a whole event. Whereas I just go home and I'm like, all right, I'm going to masturbate real quick, knock that out, then I'm gonna go eat a sandwich. But they were like, people like literally spend so much time and they make like, they like get it ready in a bath and they like, you should. Music and they set the mood and I'm like,

I should do that more. That's what I'm talking about, mindful masturbation. It's really important, I mean, you guys, this is what I talk about, I don't mean just, yes, it's important to masturbate. I'm happy if you just sit down and masturbate, but when you really try to work on your masturbation and change in like a fun way and like make it a real routine where you're, you know, pleasing yourself and like relaxing,

learning about neurodegasones, we find it really hot. And Jamie did a great job, we had to pick some winners, which was not easy, because we wanted everybody to win. But we had to do it, and and Jamie did a great job. We had to pick some winners, which was not easy because we wanted everybody to win. But we had to do it. And it took us a while, but we've got the winners and we actually, they're on our website, so we actually published a blog on our website of the winners.

And I think we're just going to keep publishing some more blogs because it kind of reads like sexy erotica and it's also inspirational and informative and educational. Yeah, hot. So we're going to read two of the winners right now. Jamie, do you want to read the first one? I do.

Okay. So, the first one here, I dubbed it slow and steady because, you know, I get to name things and it's fun. So this is from Gabby, who's 29, and she wrote in first that she's slowly becoming more comfortable with masturbation and actually allowing myself to enjoy it instead of feeling guilty. So yay for Gabby for that, that's amazing. Anyways, she continues on.

So my masturbation routine has become slower, longer, and much more relaxed. I like to take a long hot shower first so I can slowly and sensually massage lotion all over my body. Ooh, that sounds good already. Then I run a feather tickler over my skin which feels amazing and really warms me up. And, ooh, this is to you Emily, you've totally converted me to using lube. Yay, congratulations.

I never really thought I needed it, but it really does elevate the whole experience. When I reach for my fave toy, which is a vibrator that's curved at the tip to stimulate my g-spot, I'll put a few drops of lube on my clip, and then I'll alternate between massage my clip and my g-spot. Only come with my clip, but I've been making a point of just enjoying the pleasure leading up to orgasm as much as the orgasm itself. I find it makes the orgasm better anyways if I'm not hyper focused on orgasming as soon as possible. Afterwards I make sure that I

mentally congratulate myself for doing something that's good for me and I try not to entertain any guilt whatsoever. It's not easy but it's so liberating. Oh Gabby I love there's so many great points in here. She gets like an A plus. I know it was so great. I picked this one because one, it just goes to show you we're not just saying it. Lube really does change things. We convert people all the time. And I just like the fact that she said that she's focusing just on the pleasure that she's feeling in the moment. So if she orgasms, that's great. But it sounds like if she doesn't orgasm, that's fine too. And that she really really just is enjoying the time that she's having with herself.

And the fact that she's able to get past all of this guilt that she used to have is just awesome. You know, and it's like it's just to show you that at any age, you can, it doesn't matter how old you are or where you're at in life, you can get there. I love that she's not a goal-oriented masturbator. Like because we think of orgasm, you know, and she's really discovering new parts of her body, G-spot, tickling all that. And so, as a result, she got a prize.

She did. She got a womanizer, pro? Yes. And so, I know she likes to slow things down, but maybe she will be quite exhilarated with the speediness of the womanizer. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're right. Good choice. You really matched everybody didn't you to their prizes. You're like, I did, I tried. I lost my whisperer. I tried you guys, you guys are really. That's awesome. Good job. So we're going to read the next one and then we've

announced for you after this, which is very exciting. This one's called, I can't take my eyes off you. I'm a 48 year old male with a 40 year old wife, but married for 24 years, and our favorite way recently is to be in the bedroom, lit by candles, and she bought me a vibrating penis ring, slash butt plug combo. It's fantastic. Had a vibrating bullet on the ring,

one of the perinium taints, and one in the plug. Well, you need to get a diagram for this, okay. This is really impressive. So, it had a bullet on the ring wound's penis, one on his taint, okay, and one in the butt, and one in the butt plug. So I have this on while I kneel on the floor in front of the bed and a fleshlight

in between the mattress. So it's in between the mattress and platform, and it's a bed of fleshlight that I'm gliding in and out of, while she's playing with an assortment of toys for my viewing pleasure and her own pleasure. This goes on for an hour and more with her orgasming multiple times, and I myself usually having two orgasms and usually ends up with me giving her her final orgasm with I mouth and tongue. Well, that's how we've

been doing it lately. Thanks for the great podcast, Darren. Darren, 48, amazing. Well, okay. So let's break this down, Jane, because first of all, they've been together 24 years, okay? This is gonna happen in relationships. This is why I tell you guys, do something, never has to be exactly how it is right now. You can always add something new to your repertoire. So he's doing all these things and basically, there's essentially they're mutually masturbating.

He's like getting off with his penis, he's like a flashlight, he's got the butt plugs, she's masturbating, and then he's finishing her off They're both getting turned on. They're doing a show. I love this. No, it's great and the fact and he's like seriously innovative like he's using the flashlight and then he has this vibrating penis ring butt plug combo in on like I Yeah, I like I wish he had sent a picture of it because I really like not of him using it I don't need to see that, but like, not that,

the toy by itself, I would love to see because that just sounds crazy. And then he's, like, incorporating it together with another toy while he watches his wife do toys. And it just sounds like a grand old time for them. Like, they, like, I love them. It's inspiration. And it's how I love the day.

And if they've been married for 24 years That means that they got married like Really young and it seems like they're experimenting together and they've grown together sexually and that's amazing Right, I love it. I bet you weren't doing this 24 years ago the butt plug combo and whatever So yeah, I love it. I agree a great choice for winner So we have like four winners, but Darren is way I perceive it. My subscription box, the Mutual Masterbation Edition. Perfect. Exactly. He looks so good. So if you want to read more of them because they are super hot, they're

on our site at sexwithmwe.com. It's called Masterbation Month Winners. You can find that when you Google it on the site, when you search it on the site. The announcement we have is we're having another contest because we were so friggin' inspired by U-Rock stars, by everything that she wrote to us and just all the great stories you told that this month, August, we are asking your best, we're calling it alternative sex month. Okay, we've decided some people called anal sex month.

It's been known for that, but I thought, well, let's expand it this year. Let's have about anything alternative. Basically, if you share with me how you've moved out of your comfort zone, explored new things, new sensations, maybe even you open a new dialogue with your partner or what you wanna try and bed, or maybe you've started sensation play

or maybe you're looking to each other's eyes or breathing together. I mean, really it can be anything that's outside of your comfort zone currently and how you're expanding your repertoire. We want to hear from you what you've been doing, alternative sex practices. And if you email us by the end of August, feedback at sexwithamily.com. Just like our masturbation contest, we're going to pick some winners.

And we're going to give you some special practices. Yes. Well tailored. Yeah, so alternative sex month. Because really, why not? Why not? I think that people often think, I'm meaning here they need to go out and buy a bunch of crazy gear, BDSM or do something.

And if you're into it, that's awesome, but really can just be like one thing. Exactly. And a word of advice, it's not necessarily like, I'm not going out there and we're not looking for the absolute craziest story. That thank you for just looking for something genuine and something that just when we read it, like warms our heart and just kind of says, hey, that's awesome. I love this story. Like it's something that resonates with us. Right. That you're actually really doing to that's a little different that you're challenging, and you can be single as well,

doesn't have to be in a relationship, try something alternatively sexy, it could be an alternative to your masturbation if you want. Exactly. So we would love to hear from you by the end of August. Thank you, my lovely Jamie, for being here. You're welcome. Of course. Yeah, you guys, we're going to take a quick break, shout out to our sponsors, and we'll

be right back with three emails. Okay, now we're on to your emails. If you have a question, you want me to answer on the show. I love that. We've made it super easy. So you guys, you can text me your question. Just text Ask Emily all one word to 7979. That's Ask Emily one word to 7979. That's Ask Emily one word to 7979. And what happens is you text Ask Emily and then you immediately get a link and you open that link

and it's a form and you fill it out and you ask me your question. And it's actually the same form just like you'd fill out on the website. If you go to sex with the M.E.com, you click on the Ask Emily tab and then you ask the question. However you do it, I love it, I love hearing from you, and as always include your gender, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. Hi, Emily, I just ended a 20-year marriage last September. I thought my vagina would be retired

and I would never need her again. Thankfully, I discovered I still had a motor down there and she was revving. Yay! I felt like I was a virgin all over again. I didn't want to give way my new hymen to just anyone, but I also wasn't looking for a serious commitment. After swiping right and kissing half the men and Los Angeles to see who would penetrate my golden vagina. If you can't kiss, you probably can't get it on. I found the one. He was good looking, had a sense of humor,

and a high profile job. We had a fun night together, a couple of rumps in the hay, and a couple of hours of interesting conversation. He left and sent a nice follow-up text 20 minutes later, because he was my first one out of the gate, I wrongly assumed I would click with every man I interacted with. Mean Prince charming got together one other time and it wasn't as a filling and I haven't heard back from him. I can't stop thinking about him or comparing every other connection to him.

This feels like an odd and display sense of attachment. I'm not nearly as hung up on my ex who wants to get back together as I am on this two-night stand. Have you heard of people becoming fixated on the first sexual partner for a long-term commitment? What can I do to move past this? I feel so silly for this overwhelming infatuation fixated on the first sexual partner for a long-term commitment, what can I do to move passes?

I feel so silly for this overwhelming infatuation, Sloan 43, Los Angeles. Okay, Sloan, this question, I totally get it. Okay, first of all, congratulations that your vagina is out of retirement and that the golden vagina lives on. Because really, I get it. I get that feeling, you're like, is my vagina a member going to feel again? But you are. And so let's just look at this guy. It was a gift.

Like you met a guy and you had amazing sacks and he did you a favor that he didn't show up again. I know you're not there yet, but let me just just hear me out, okay? You seem super self-aware and that this is like a displaced attachment and it's not totally healthy. But remember that it's not all about him, right? It's not even about the guy.

Because here's the other thing. When you're saying this guy is somebody that you feel could have been the one, we realize that that's like, I mean, you just met him. But I understand amazing sex can make you feel like you really love someone, but that's lost. There's no such thing as love at first sight. It's lust at first sight. And it, but what you're feeling is that rejection and the fact that, you know, you, you placed all this meaning on one, one encounter and that he could be this amazing guy But this is a favor because first of all like I said he showed you who he was and also I don't think you should be jumping into a relationship right now I think you got of a marriage and I understand you've been dating and all this stuff

But this is the time where you you're gonna be exploring yourself and you're gonna be meeting a lot of guys and a lot of people And you're gonna be learning more about who you are. I mean, you were just married for 20 years. So, who are you Sloan? Out of a relationship, single at 43 is much different than Sloan at 23, who got married and who has lived this whole life. So, I understand that natural inclination is to attach to these guys and to think, oh my god, could he be the one, could he be the one? But I'm going to ask you to change it, to flip this and have the expectation that when you go out with these guys, it's just for really getting to meet new people, have a good conversation, learning some new things, possibly having amazing sex.

So just know that this is going to happen again, that there's going to be rejection, you're going to reject them, they're going to reject you, but it's going to get easier first of all. But also, the less time you spend obsessing and worrying about like why he didn't call or why he didn't get back to you, which all of us can do, just move past that. The sooner you can do that and just keep dating and keep going, you will, you will move through this stuff. It won't even bother you.

You're like, oh, that was an experience. Don't think of it like I went to a movie last night. It was a bad movie. Like that's how it's going to impact you. You can get to that place. If you don't place as much weight and emphasis on these experiences. So it's your choice. So I feel like this was your first time that you felt something you weren't sure the vagina

was even a woken. Your vagina is healthy and ready to go and so are you slow. So good luck with dating. And remember, it's not how you fall down. It's how many times you fall down. It's how you get back up. So just keep moving. Keep dating. Keep sw, and have fun.

Hi Emily, I've listened to your show for a few weeks now and I'm obsessed with it. I've recently jumped into the dating game. I met this guy who's super into going down on girls and often talks about going down on me. Absolutely nothing wrong with this except I'm scared. No man has ever gone down on me before and I'm super self conscious of my vagina. I'm a plus sized woman and I can't wrap my hat around anyone putting their face down there.

I'm so into this guy and I guess I'm afraid that if he doesn't like my vagina it's going to be the end of it. He's also really into rope play edging and commands. I've always wanted to try that stuff. But at the same time I'm a little scared. How do I find the courage to not let me go down to me, but to try these new and exciting things? What would you do?

Thank you so much, and I can't wait to hear the next podcast. Alana 24, Alberta, Canada. Oh, Alana, I wish I was in your situation, because this sounds really fun to me. Because you're 24, and here's the thing, remember, don't be hard on yourself. We're also hard on ourselves. A lot of women feel this way at the beginning I remember when I was in college and my boyfriend at the time I'd been dating him

for months wanted to go down to me and I was like oh my god really how could you want to do that I didn't understand and I think a lot of women go through this we just don't get it we're like it just doesn't seem appealing we're self-conscious and so this is kind of like something that you need to go through and it's fine. So you're right where you need to be. But it's going to be challenging the first time. But let me tell you the good news here. This guy, he wants to go down to you.

He wants to please you. And that's the thing is that the guys who are actually into oral sex and into pleasing you, it's a pleasure loop. It's like a feedback loop. So if you can relax into it and take deep breaths and really get into your body and the pleasure that you're feeling and get out of your head,

you'll realize how great it feels. And then he's gonna realize how much it turns you on, which is why he's doing it. And that's gonna give pleasure to him. So that's the loop, right? He's doing it not because he's sitting there with like, you know, a checklist looking at your vagina going, oh, well, this should look like this. Does it taste like this? So guys like this

are like, he's into it. He's into the vagina. He's into you and pleasing you. Believe me, there's he's not the guy you, because I know guys like this, guys who love going down are not the ones who are like taking note. So he's a great guy for you to experience the first time with. I feel good about this. So it's really about you being relaxed. And you can be honest at your nervous about it. But it's really about you being relaxed. And you can be honest, that you're nervous about it. But every time you start getting into your head and thinking, oh no, he's not gonna like it or what's he doing, just breathe.

It's so important to breathe. Lay back, breathe into your pelvic floor, and then just go back to the sensations in your body. Like what are you feeling at the moment? You know, but there's his tongue, or his mouth, his hands, like whatever he's doing, just your mind, oh no, he doesn't want me down there and go, oh, that feels really good.

And then after a while, you'll get into that groove, we'll naturally be into your body and feeling the pleasure. But again, it's new to you so go easy on it, go easy on yourself. And I think you're gonna realize I like Oral Sex literally is the best thing since sliced bread. So I'm just jealous because I wish I was in your place

and trying it again for the first time. And also, I think it's cool that you're into ropes and bondage and you think you might be because that's, that's great. It interests you. So just remember when he brings it up, you know, you can let him know that it's new to you, but it excites you. And then, you know, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do, but it's the same kind of thing. You just kind of got to go into it, make sure that, you know, there's consent and you feel safe and let yourself relax into it, and enjoy the pleasure.

So I think he sounds like a great partner for you to have some fun with right now. It's just you. You gotta do the work. Take care of yourself, love yourself, and let your experience all this amazing pleasure coming your way, Ilana. You got this. Hey, Emily, I just started digging this guy, and I really like him. We've been an official couple for about a month now.

My new guy lives three minutes away from me, but can somehow only make time to see me twice a week and is never down to hang out when we both have breaks in our schedules or free time. A prime example is when he sends snaps of himself chilling by his back, Eric Poole, and I drop an obvious hint that I'd like to come on hang out. I don't receive an invite and it's incredibly infuriating.

Should I end it before I get too emotionally invested or just keep dating and see if it gets better. There is also the fact that I give him blow jobs all the time and he's literally going down to me twice. And the second time I had to ask him to spend more than two minutes between my legs. Emily 21 Vancouver. Oh Emily, from one Emily to another Emily.

Okay, sweetie, here is the deal. It's one of these. He's just not that into you things and that's totally okay. And I get it you're 21 and you knew it dating and you sound like loving and you're giver and you want to please and you want him to like you and give him blow jobs and you're like, I don't understand why he's not getting back to me. Because he's young too and he's 21 and all I know is how he's treating you and it's really, it's not respectful. And I don't even know what's going on with him. Here's the thing. Who knows what he's doing.

He's in his backyard. He could be stepping with his friends, he could be talking to other girls. All I care about is the way he's treating you. So no, you should not get emotionally more emotionally invested than you already are. You should not keep dating because this is not going to get better. There are so many strikes against this guy that I literally wish I could go over there and take his phone and throw it in the pool.

He never wants to hang out when you guys are breaks in your time and he only lives a few blocks away. He's sending you steps of him chilling and not inviting you, which is actually an aggressive, like a passive-aggressive thing to do, which is not loving. He knows that you're home waiting, so it's almost like he's playing a game. The fact that you're giving him blow jobs all the time and he's only gone down and you want her twice, it's kind of like, what if you went over there and every time you went over there, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed himself a beer and just sat down and

didn't get you one. And he did that every single time. Like, how would you feel? That's like essentially what he's doing. He's like, I'm going to get mine and you're not going to get yours. I'm taking care of myself and you're not getting take care of. He does not care about your needs. He doesn't know how to take care of your needs.

Has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with anything that you've done at all. It just said him being who he is, that's pointed in his life, so please don't spend any more time obsessing, worrying about this guy, because he's not worth it, and there's a lot of guys out there, I promise you that we'll be reciprocal and that we'll go down to you for more than two minutes,

because let's be honest, two minutes doesn't even count, because we don't even, that's like nothing. Like at that time, he could've gotten you a beer and that would've been more useful than two minutes each in your legs. You can get a lot more pleasure from a lot more minute there. So really just cut him. And I know it's gonna be hard

because we all do this. It's gonna take a little longer. Like right now I want you to delete him and block him but I know you're not right, I'm afraid Emily. But the sooner you can realize that that you actually deserve respect, you wouldn't take this kind of behavior from a friend, right? A girlfriend who treated you like that.

She was like, hey, we're all hanging out but you can't come over or didn't treat you to respect. We wouldn't put up with that with our friends or our family and you shouldn't put up with it for a guy ever, Emily. So demand the respect that you deserve because you sound amazing. So that's it, Emily. Run, don't walk away from this guy. Hello, Emily. My girlfriend likes to be milked like an animal and she likes to breastfeed me. Like I'm a child. She's not a mother though. Why does she like it? And why am I coming around to liking it too?

Is this normal or are we totally weird? Loving the podcast, KJ. And KJ, I'm reading your question even though you didn't put your age or where you're from because you guys know that's a rule. But I really like this question. KJ, this all comes down to one thing. Your kink is not my kink and that's okay.

I'm not going to judge your kink, no one's gonna judge it. And you're into it and it turned you on and you know why? Because it turns her on. So this is the thing about kinks and fetishes and alternative sex. It's that you see that she's getting so turned on

by what you're doing, because you're like playing with her breasts and she's turned on. And so it's a reciprocal thing. It's like that feedback loop. She likes it. It doesn't matter why it really doesn't. And I love that you're coming onto liking it because again, you're seeing her turn on

and she's turned on. And so I think it's, if you want me to use a word normal, I will, I hate using that word, but I'll say that it's normal and it's really not weird. I think that I want you to know that you have my permission. And if it's not hurting anybody, it's not hurting you and you feel like she's not forcing you to do something. It's totally healthy expression.

And I could sit here and surmise like, well, maybe it's because she's got some kind of fetish around being a mom one day or you've got something about breasts and motherhood and feeding, but you know, a lot of people try to make sense of why people have certain fetishes, and they're just, it's inconclusive because it's a case by case basis. So I would say that you and your girlfriend are having fun right now,

and you're having some sex that turns you both on, like thumbs up, and I'm happy for you. So don't trip on it. And August is alternative sex month here at Sex Family. It really is. So I wanted to highlight this and say, you guys, whatever you're into, this is a great month to kind of play with your edges and bring in some new kinks and new fun things into your relationship.

And just to go easy on yourself, I think I've said that to almost every email today that you should all just like really be kinder to yourself. And if something turns you on and it feels good and you're using consent and you're enjoying what you're experiencing and treating your partner well, enjoy your sex. Don't beat yourself up for things that you're into or things that you're not into. Like that's fine. Like the most important thing about sex is understanding what you truly like and what turned you on and being able to express that.

And then if you two of you come together with a partner and you're both getting turned on by things, even better. So you you know this month you guys go crazy tell your partner what you want experience it and have fun happy alternative sex month Thanks everyone for emailing me and for I love you all like for emailing me and checking me out on Snapchat and Twitter and Instagram I'm getting all your questions and on Snapchat you guys are sending me such great questions And I would love to answer them all, but it's just hard to do on Snapchat. So the simple thing, I can definitely let you know where I bought something or what to

do, you know, quickly somewhere if it's a quick question, but if it's a longer thing, you definitely have to email me through texting or through the website. So much easier that way, but I just love that you're all following us and staying in touch. I feel like I know you, again, it's all Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, at Sex with Emily. And thanks you to my amazing team, Ken, Jamie, or interns, Shannon, Miley, producer, Locke, and Michael.

Thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithamely.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪