Sex With Emily - Penises, Pineapples & Sex Life Revival

Episode Date: August 13, 2016

We’ve been talking about it for months and it’s finally here. In today’s show, Emily and Menace are answering not only your emails, but your voicemails too! Are you perplexed by your partner’s refusal to reciprocate oral sex? Could your lack of sexual experience be considered a dating dealbreaker? How do you up the kink factor when your longtime lover is strictly vanilla? Emily and Menace help listeners navigate these predicaments with a mix of communication, literature & sexual confidence. They also discuss a new dating app that can help you steer clear of (or steer into) sausage fests at your local bars. From tips for co-working with an ex-lover to coming clean about your bedroom insecurities to the first ever “Ask Emily” voicemails, this podcast is packed with moments you won’t want to miss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily, so you know how much I love hearing from you and receiving your emails. Well, I'm excited to announce that today I'll be answering your voice-mails, as well as your emails, but voice-mails. That's a new thing. So, topics include how do you recover from a breakup when you work with your ex? Tips for reviving your less than satisfactory sex life. Also, what to do in your partner does not like blow jobs, and why your lack of sexual experience doesn't matter as much as you think. Thanks for listening. Since I began telling you about the womanizer, I've received countless messages from listeners telling me how much they love this revolutionary product. I couldn't agree more. I love my womanizer.

We've made a short film about it. Check it out at sexwithemily.com. Unlike traditional vibrators, the womanizer uses patented pleasure air technology to indirectly stimulate your clitoris with waves of air pressure and suction. It has a soft silicone center that you place over your clitoris, just like your partner might use their mouth. Its multiple settings make it easy to find the exact amount of pressure that's right for you. The sensation is so intense that many users found they can reach orgasm in one minute, a 60 second orgasm. Well somehow, womenizers engineers have found a way to improve upon the original model. The latest versions, the W500 Pro and Deluxe are smaller and quieter than ever before.

There's now eight settings and a new ergonomic design that will really help you find your sweet spot. So come on, there's really no excuse anymore. It's time to get your own womanizer. You can see all the amazing womanizer models at womanizershop.com or by clicking on the womanizer banner on my website. Check it out now. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute.

The girls got everything. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here.

So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlee.com because it's a party going on at sexwithemlee.com. Does that remind me of us? It's so cool there because we've got so much happening. We've got the shop with Emily, all the cool toys I talk about most of them are there on

the site. I would just love you to go there all the cool toys. I talk about most of them are there on the site. And I would just love you to go there and go, boop, I'm gonna subscribe. And so I'm gonna get your podcast in my inbox twice a week. Cause that's what we do. That's what we do here. We do podcasts. Produce podcasts.

And you can also, though, find it. You can subscribe and iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play. You can also follow me on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, section thenly, it's facebook.com slash section thenly, it's all section thenly, everywhere, all the time, section thenly. And you can email the show.

Yeah. Feedbackatsexnamely.com. Or, right from the website now. Yes. Go to the Ask Emily. It's a lot happening. If you haven't been there lately, we changed the whole damn thing.

It's next level now. Dude, right, finally. It's super clean. It was a little bit easy to navigate. The old one was older. It was like, er, we we changed the whole it's next level now dude right clean the old one was older was like yeah it's like that so now it's better and we love it and subscribe to our news that our that's all that's a lot of do do do do but I'm just asking now that's out of the way recently you've had some great shows you should check out hot wet summer sex because the show is packed with tips

tattoo your tail help take your summer love into the next level. The do's and don'ts of getting busy and water and like, why? You know, it's a summer everyone's taking trips. So hot I've had hotel sacks. And I am here with menace as I said, but menace, here's a funny thing. Summer sacks show, just remember this. So the day after we recorded the summer sacks show, my mom called me and we were talking about going on a road trip, how that can be such a great wave

to spice it up with your partner, you don't need a lot of money, but you guys can have hot sex on the road, why that's such a fun thing. And my mom called me and she goes, guess what, Ed and I are taking a road trip and we're going up to, I can't what you said. Somewhere in New York, season falls.

Nice. Not Niagara Falls, but some other falls. And I was like, oh my God, mom, you guys should have sex in the car. And she's like, I don't think so. He's ed 83 years old, and he's gonna have sex in the car. Like I literally without even like,

I was like, mom, you should do that. She was, I'm gonna pick both of them. Do you think I would ever have that conversation with my mother? Never. No, but it was like, oh my God. You're so good. I'm like, mom, bro, Chip, are you listening to my show?

And she's like, no, I don't have that long to have sex in the car with that. He's say to three. Do you think women are more open to having sex, open, obviously, but having a discussion about sex with their parents than a guy would because I would never have that kind of conversation. And I don't think any of my male friends would.

I think a lot of guys don't. But I do, my female friends, I believe that they do have conversations like this. Yeah, they do. I mean, a lot of, I think a lot of women more so are comfortable talking to their moms about sex. And I think guys talking to their dads, just weird, right?

Like, four of their moms. I don't wanna talk to them. You don't wanna talk to your mom about it because that's to like mom, edipo, edipo's thing. And then I also think that, yeah, everyone, you know what? People don't, they don't want to talk to them. You don't want to talk to your mom about it because that's to like mom, edit post thing. And then I also think that, yeah, everyone, you know what? People don't, they don't, not only do they want to have their parents, they don't want to have their partners.

Yeah. So if they can't talk to their partners about sex, they're not saying, hey, mom, so was the last time you had an orgasm. Although I say that to my mom all the time. Because. Sinclair record. Same loss. Yeah, I should.

Yeah. My mom, I don't want to talk about her sex life, but you know, he's 83, she's 70, they still have sex. And they're very happy. So, but not in the road, apparently. So the other thing I want to talk about is, so you know I've been going to these the somatic therapy training in San Francisco. And I go every other month for the next eight months

and it's been, I've learned a lot, really transformative and I'm always talking to you, it's a, it's less than Danielle. So, slasendeniel.com, if you check it out, they've been on the show and they inspired me because I've known them for 10 years, they're renowned sex coaches in the Bay Area and they came on the show a few months ago and I was like, I gotta take one of your classes

and I'm always saying that they're like, sign up for Somaticom, like, what is that? I didn't really even really know and I was thinking a class, well this is a course. And it's actually been amazing and transformative. So rather than like there's a lot that is going on for me, I've taken this because I want to learn and then once I learn I teach you.

And again, nothing is really new with sex, just like different ways you can kind of approach a lot of the challenges that you're having. So these are some things that I would just like to share with you that came up for a lot of the challenges that you're having. So these are some things that I would just like to share with you that came up for me when I was there a few weeks ago. One of the things that I got was Celeste who's one of the teachers she would say, God, you know, we all have this psychotic optimism when it comes to relationships. And I thought that was such a great way to put it that, you always think that sex is supposed to be perfect.

And relationships are supposed to be easy and flawless. And you're never gonna hurt the person you love. And you say, God, I never want to hurt you. I'll never hurt you. But it's like, guess what? Hello, relationships are about pain and disappointment and repair. They really are.

That's part of it, okay? Like 60% of your relationship, you might be disappointed. But that doesn't mean that your relationship is over. It means it just accept it. Just like you know that life is about being healthy and taking care of yourself and going to the gym and eating right, like it's about working on your sex life because it's just not gonna always be amazing

without working on it. Changes, your body changes, your life changes, your partner changes, sex does. So to have this optimism that, oh my God, it's no longer perfect, I should go have an affair or it's no longer perfect, we should break up or it's no longer perfect, we should have a threesome. No, guess what, you're normal and that means that you need to maybe listen to sex with Emily and a better sex.

Yeah, people put so much pressure on relationships. Why? Because you know why? Because we go into the relationship on drugs. Because we're falling the relationship on drugs. Because when the falling in love, you're in high. So your brains, they looked at the brain wave patterns of people in the honeymoon phase, falling in love.

It was the same as people on cocaine. Like that's the high you're feeling that rush, the serotonin in your journal. Oh my god, it's amazing. But that's what it is. Walking on sunshine. Doesn't last. Walking on sunshine, it doesn't last.

And doesn't last like, it doesn't mean to say like, wah, wah, it's gonna suck. No, it just takes work. It just takes it and it's a good fun kind of work I'm saying like oh my god. Maybe you need to master it more Maybe you need to like talk about what really turns you on is that so bad. No do it now Yeah, you have to have your parents about it. Talk to your partners about it I'm drinking coffee right now. I know I'm so glad So much coffee men. This isn't sleep. I don't I used to be the non-sleep right now. I know, I'm so glad. So much coffee. The tyrant medicine's sleep. I don't.

I used to be the non-sleeping one. I know. So question. Go. All right. So when a guy or a girl, I'm sure the same thing. When they drink a lot of coffee and then they go to the bathroom, you can kind of smell it, right?

So what about if you're giving a blowjob to a guy that's a big coffee drinker? Do you like is there a different? I've never I've never tasted a guy see when in thought it tastes like you just had sumato. No, no. You know, I mean, that's blue bottle. Right, right. Was that blue bottle? You're so fancy. Yeah, I love blue bottle coffee. No, I mean, there are certain things like it's not just like if you drink coffee or like it's going to that, but definitely having a healthier diet can change the taste of your semen. But drinking coffee I've never had one. And next I'd be sorry, I could be like, game is a more than, I'm gonna suck that down, suck that semen down.

Damn, I forget what movie it is. It's a girlfriend about that. Yeah, I forget what movie it is. I think it's a Damn it. I think It is fanboys or something like that. It's hilarious. Oh, no dammit. I'm sorry. I Forget the name of the movie. Okay, but it's a really good movie and it was a really good movie And it was about how These girls they wanted to give these guys blow jobs, right? And they kept on hearing that you have to give them pineapple juice. It makes it taste better.

Right. And then so they're like throughout the whole movie, they just keep on giving these guys pineapple juice. And the guys are like, what's going on? And they're like, I don't know. I think these chicks are Mormon. That's funny. It is true.

They say pineapple juice, cucumbers, all that stuff. I mean, just be healthy overall. You have a burger, do whatever you want every once in a while, but the healthier you are, the healthier your seam in what. I know. Now you're gonna find the movie. I gotta find the movie. I know what it is.

I know what it is. No, I know who it is. All right, I trust you. I know this stuff, do you mind? Okay, so do you mind? Okay, so we've got some sex in the news. And I know a lot of our sex news lately about dating apps because everyone's dating online. So this one is a

new dating app that checks the male female ratio at local bars. So the ritual of hitting bars and hooking up at New York night clubs is getting increasingly high tech. So there's a new dating app. Tell me if you use this minus it's called Weepo And it allows users to check the male to female ratio at a given bar club before they head out. What? Instead of finding out the hard way after shelling out for car ride and cover charge, basically if it's a sausage fest. Yeah. Like, you know, you walk into a bar, you're like, sausage fest. How do they? So I don't know. I figured, yeah, I know how they do it. Right. Because it's like to you tagging or whatever.

Yeah, because you you know all these apps They ask you if they can use your location. So there's a bunch of guys. I mean this is it could totally be off because not everybody's gonna Have this app on that's what I'm saying. I read this I'm going well, what if you don't have this will go app But 50,000 people have signed up for it and they say once a venue with a favorable ratio is found It allows users to swipe through the profiles of others who are headed there to Tinderstow. So they're like, Hey, you're heading to this whole new wall. So you there. So the big idea is to cut short the pro long chats that have long plagued other dating apps, ending to off with no dated

all. So you can again, hit up these women, really, hey, you're on the way there. But again, I don't know how you know you're on the way there. I guess you'd have to tell the app where you're going because it also does it while you're in the bar. I guess, that sounds right. So a lot of the girls says here, go to high end clubs, like Tau or number eight or marquee, which typically requires stiff drink prices and drink and covers.

Young guys, meanwhile, gravitate towards no cover bars, particularly those with cheaper drinks. So people want to get effed up, have a good time. They want to meet you. This app makes the process a lot easier. I don't know. I don't know. I mean, honestly, do we need another app to find?

Like literally, I'm not gonna go to that bar, there are no chicks there. I think the sounds kind of lame. No, it sucks. I love the old stories on how people met at, you know, the grocery store and stuff like that. Now it's like, I know. It's going to be so weird when there is, there's going to be like grandpa's and grandmother's.

How you guys met? Well, we're on Tinder. Exactly. We hooked up. We hooked up on it. I gave you your father a blue job in the car. And he loved it. So we knew we were meant for each other.

His semen taped like a double latte. You know, it was delicious. And I was like, hmm, that's scrumptious. That scrumptious semen-ish is sandwich there. Yeah, yeah. So that's my sex in the news for you, Matt. Nice. But let's take a little break.

We're gonna give a quick shout out to our sponsors, Cosby and Love Them. I almost have that movie titled, by the way. You know, it's so great about sex toys. They don't get jealous. They just want you to feel good. Even if it means they sit one out while you try something new. Well, I was recently introduced to that something new, the rabbit company Leon vibrator. I'm here to tell you that this little palm-sized beauty is simply awesome. It's made for external use and features two ears that are perfectly positioned for literal stimulation. The whole piece is gently curved to match a woman's natural contour,

so it can literally lay on you, as the name suggests. But its ergonomic shape feels so good to hold and move around. You'll find endless different sensations by changing the lay-ons positions. Its whisper quiet and has six vibration patterns. But my favorite feature? The rabbit company keeps the motion in the ears, not the handle. No more numb hands from the transfer of vibration. It's really amazing.

Like all rabbit company products, the lay-on is 100% body safefe, features easy to use controls and has a five-year warranty. To order your LAN, visit therabbitcompany.com or click the Rabbit Company banner on my website. Hey, why not? Lay it on today. All right, onto your emails and voice smells. What? This is exciting. So we do have a new voice smell number where you can leave your messages 818-ask-swe1 or 818-275-7931. And today we're going to have some of your emails. We're also going to be sprinkling a little of your voicemails. So thank you for getting a lot of great calls and messages.

And it's super fun. And if you missed that phone number, you can find it on sectrathm.ly.com. And still, always include your name. You don't have to include your last name. You can make up a name. We don't care. But don't include to include your last name. You can make up a name. We don't care. But don't include the names of anyone you're talking about. You know, like my best friend, Menace, like no, that gave me a way.

And but do, do, do, do, as in emails, as in always, tell us your age where you're calling from and how you listen. We love that. Can't wait to hear from you. Okay. Emails. Real quick. Okay, this is the name of the movie with the-

Finally, found it. But I think you would really like this movie by the way, too, because it's the movie is called the To-do list, right? Oh, and it has. And it has Audrey Plaza, who I absolutely love. And the movie is about how she's feeling pressure to become more sexually experienced before she goes off to college. So she makes a sexual to-do list. And then- The bucket list. Yeah, and then one of them has to do with the blowjob that comes up with the, you know, drink the pineapple juice. I feel like I already saw the movie there now.

There's a pretty good masturbation scene with her too, which I think that she's like full-on masturbating for real. Really? That's crazy. I love her. Her comedy is hilarious. I don't know. It's just very dry. I love it. It's an old movie. I love it. It's an old movie. It came out in 2010.

So watch it with a partner and then maybe you'll get around the camera. Yeah, it's all about getting around. That's a do list. Don't be so afraid to watch some sexy movies with the partner, baby. I know. Okay. We're going to talk about one of my favorite topics. All right.

The next email. Hello, Emily. I'm a long time lister. My question is, I'm totally in love with a girl who is 15 years my junior. I love giving oral, but she won't reciprocate stating she does not like the taste of my semen. Oh, we were just dying. I'm just talking about it.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm raising how they come together. That's so weird. What? So you can feel it. Freak pineapples is. Sex is amazing, but I would love attention down there.

What can I do, Emily? Please help Floyd age 54. So she's 15 years is junior. So do the math. So she's like 39. Okay, so this is funny Floyd because menace and I, we were talking about this not just now, but recently on a show, you don't know about this manace,

but you know, because you were there, but you called me out for a double standard. There was a girl, there was a girl who called who emailed and said her boyfriend won't go down. And I was like, listen, that's important. Like you've got to prioritize that. If he won't go down, I gave tips, except if you're like, yeah, and that's double standard. You wouldn't say that if a guy called in right in about a blow down, I'm like, yes, I would.

I would give the same exact advice because oral sex is important. And it's not true. All right. You got butter because people, people like because I got tweets about it guys like yeah, you tell you tell Emily put it straight because I was when I ever when am I ever just like like helping the girls are helping the guys. I think oral sex. Oh, men should get blow jobs and women should get oral get kindling. Yes.

And I do not discriminate, no matter if you're a penis or a vagina, and if that's what you want. If you want your armpits, I'm not changing my story. You just call me up for nothing. No, I did it because I said, because in the past,

and anybody can listen to any of these podcast, the podcast. Yeah, go to 5,000 podcasts and it'll be Ron to get research projects. It just says that, I mean, that you get extremely offended when a guy won't perform Conolingus. True.

True. Now, if a girl didn't want to give blow jobs, they're like, well, she just doesn't want to do it. Then you've got to live with it. I've never in my life said that just live with it, because girls, I never would. I'm in high right now. I've never in my life said that just live with it because girls I never high right now. I wish. I don't even do parallel universe. I don't even do that with my friend. My girlfriends who are like, I don't want to give my husband a blowjob. Like,

let's talk about this. It's really important. It's like flowers for women. How can we make the blowjob out of you? So you're wrong. All right. And let's go back to Floyd. So Floyd, I'm just going to your or your're I look more classy holding a good vibrations mug mug as I'm talking to you drinking coffee. You do have never seen you hold a mug. I've never seen you hold any like it's like you can like plot some silver or put a napkin or

like that so civilized. It's good. We've never been in a restaurant together either. Have we? Yeah, we have plenty of time. See, you don't remember anything like the statements that you had made before. I guess it but it's cool. I'm just going to let you you know, it's the sex time you show. It's not my show. I guess it. But it's cool. I'm just going to let you, you know, it's the sex comedy show.

It's not my show. It's not your show. So do it. Do it, man. Say what everything. Say what everything. Here's the thing. Your needs for your penis to be sucked by your girlfriend

is totally valid. You're 54. You know what's important to you. You've had a blowjob. You probably know what it's like to go without them. And, but what you got to do is you got to figure out what happened in her past that made her not like load blow drops This is the conversation Better tasting gizz nope listen this needs this need maybe but I think she does it. Okay. Here's a thing

Perhaps but she won't even go down on them because in the past she says She says she doesn't taste of seem it so she needs to be she needs to say more to you Like I just you know you need to pick it back up Floyd You need to change your tune to you can't just say I won't you go down to me and her saying no and then you think you talked about it That is not a conversation That's the actual real communication So you might want to bump it up and ask and say you know, I'm wondering babe Why why um, I know you don't you said you like perform Earl sex because it up and ask and say, you know, I'm wondering, babe, why, why, um,

I know that you don't, you said you like perform oral sex because it's about taste. And I'm curious, is there anything else? Anything else about oral sex, you know, why you don't want to do it or, you know, then see what she says. Because the thing is, if it really is, and it made it, first of all,

maybe there was another instance in her past where a guy did have bad taste and just could be true or maybe she feels like she lack some skills in that apartment. She all takes is one part of telling you that you suck at blow jobs and you suck it kind of like you're bad at sex to like ruin you for life unless you like check in with yourself and go wait a minute that was one person story I am not a bad kind of lingus provider I'm better than that but I don't know what

her story is, but it's really important that you get to the bottom of it because I think that to me would be a deal breaker. I have a suggestion. The color bluff. Maybe she doesn't like doing it at all. This is what I'm saying. Maybe not even just thing.

Maybe it is here this is how you can call her bluff, all right? What? Get a flavored condom and see if she'll do it with the flavored condom. Well, there are flavored condoms and I was gonna talk about flavored lube. Right, flavored lube is a great idea. So if it is, okay, Joe Luberkins, I love you,

you need to check out their line. If you go to the shop, go to sectionalme.com, you've got a shop site, but they've got lube, listen to their lube. Hazel and espresso, mint chocolate, salted caramel. I mean, they've got these amazing flavors. So if she doesn't like the taste, and here's the other thing, one of my top tips for blow jobs is there never,

like you got to make it wet. She puts a little around her lips, and then she goes down and you and it's like slippery, and you taste like mint chocolate sundae, she's psyched. So she could put a mint in her mouth. Also right here, I have, I use this every single show, Doc Johnson's Good Head Blow Job Spray. I use it for the show because, like that, I just spread it.

I made it good to it because what it does is, it makes your home-out-taste like strawberries and it lubricates your mouth. So she has a natural lubrication and she just sprays this and I do it for the show so I'm not like, so I have enough lubrication to talk. So she could try some of that. Also, I mean, dude, would you complain? Would you really complain and feel bad Floyd?

If maybe she just wanted to give you a really good hand job with Luba, maybe she just focused on the tip, just the tip. So there's other things she can do. If she's really into this relationship, sex is about compromise. It really is. Couples have to figure out where they can like, you know, give and take. And if she'd still be willing to work with your penis with her hands and a little bit of mouth and a little bit of lube, you might have a solution. But if she's like, nope, I'll never do it,

then you need to decide there's something you can live with. But have a kind open conversation with her where you're not making her feel bad and you're not attacking her, but it's open. Do the condom test and then go to the loop. She could, that's true. No, men, that's not a bad idea. She could use a condom with new, over it or a flavored condom and then chose of Tasty Men. So that's another thing.

I'm saying, gradually go to it if she, you know, is afraid of doing it. That's all. Yeah. Okay, let that do. Nice. Shining with some. Where all these loops at? Oh my God, they're over there.

We taste them on ice cream, Joe. On ice cream? At the sex conference, I went to a few years ago. They were giving out ice cream, and they were pouring these flavors on. And literally, I poured it in my mouth. It's so good. Do you want one, Sam?

Before we go. I would like to look at it. Okay. I would like to read the bottle. Well, let me get, well, Madison, can you get the bottle? Let's peep game. Next one. Dear Emily.

By the age of 30, I have extremely little sexual experience because of my shyness and negative body image. And I've never been in a serious relationship. I'm sure most high school students are more experienced than me. Now, I'm finally looking for a relationship and hope it's not too late. But I'm afraid that my negligible experience can be a deal-breaker. What would be the best strategy to honestly speak to my prospective

partner or to act naturally without saying much about my sexual past? Best wishes Julia H 30 in Hungary Hungry Julia What's up? Speaking of which I'm gonna be in Germany and I'm gonna be an Amsterdam in October speaking of Hungary We're loving our piece from here. So let's all pay attention to what I'm gonna be there soon I'll let you know okay Julia Julie Julia, listen I'm so glad that you've gotten to the point where you feel like you want a partner now and you're ready to put yourself out there

Sounds like in the past like you said you had some bodies some insecurities and you know, we've all got insecurities when it comes to sex We all have anxieties like that's what this show if you guys in have anxieties and securities like I wouldn't have a job here But we all go into new sexual experiences all the time worried concerned what are partners gonna think and might not gonna be good enough. I'm not gonna be formed is my penis gonna fall off you know will I perform will he know what that I it's my first time you are not alone in this be all suffer from an experience like fantasy probably do all the time all the time right my whole life is that a vagina never seen one of those before.

Exactly. You're scary. Right. You're like belly buttons, like your nipples, you don't know. You get confused. I'll give you like a little map. But I get it.

So the best strategy. What do I do with this? What do I do with this? Good trees. I need to put my scuba gear on. Right, whatever works for you. But here's a deal. Julia, and Hungary. I know, that's really cool.

So I think the best strategy, sweetie, is I wouldn't say you got to go on a date with someone and be like, and I don't have a lot of experience. No, wait until you're with someone. You've dated them a few times and you know that you're feeling safe with them. Because again, I think that safety is a really important thing for women and men.

Like insects when we're feeling like an experience, especially if you're like, for anything we want, well mostly women want to feel safe and secure in a relationship when they all the time, but also if you do a lot of experience. So make sure it's someone that you trust and you have a real connection with. It's authentic, not just some dude you meet out. Let it happen naturally. And when you're with them, if you start hooking up and you start feeling like, God, I'm worried, you know, then you can say, you know what, let's take it a little slow.

I haven't been with anyone a while. You can say that. But you just might surprise yourself and you might start hooking up and be like, Oh, I know this. I can kind of get into this. And it might just sort of naturally happen. You might not be as out of touch with this whole experience as you think. So I don't say, you know, you can also just go with the flow. But see what happens in the moment,

but you don't leave it this. You don't put in your dating profile. You don't tell them on the first day. What do you think, Menace? Fagirl didn't have a ton of experience. How would you like to learn that information? It's not a big deal. It's not a big deal. Like, to be honest. It's not a big deal. You don't have a ton of experience. Cool. Let's figure out things together. Nice, menace. Easy.

God, Dr. Menace, that's so good. You're right. Figure it out together. I think that we all trip on this stuff that doesn't necessarily be a concern to our partner. In the meantime, though, I cannot encourage you enough, I cannot free enforce this enough that the more that you get to know your body right now, you masturbate, you make yourself, you know, feel good, spend that time, the more it will, you'll feel better and

better, it'll improve your sexual confidence and the whole experience will go a lot smoother when you know your own body. Because I can tell you this, no matter how many women the guy that you're with have slept up with, your body is a whole new wonderland for him. Oh wow. Jean-Mier shout out right there.

Yeah, it's true. Your body is like every woman's body is different. So he literally has no idea what to do with your body. You're Jean-Mier slays only Jason. if you know, I know I would I'd bang him. I've met him. He's very nice. You look like someone that I would bang. Probably.

Did you think you'd be able to text on a douchebag? So maybe you won't bang him. Because you're really into douchebags. I'm wait, menace. Do you know that I've never daked douchebags? Says you. If anything, John Mayor is a douchebag, isn't he? No, he's not. He's super cool. He's super nice.. You were supposed to do. If anything, jump here is douche bag, isn't it? No, he's not.

He's super cool. He's super nice. Because he was nice to you and he didn't dump you. Okay. The guys I date are douche-ish in character, you think, but they're not mean to me. They're not like, asking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

They just give up. You just think they seem douche-ish. Yeah. But you think everyone's douche-ish. No. You generally don't like most people. No, I found a guy for you on Tinder. I think he was douche. Which no you generally don't like most people. I found a found a good guy for you on Tinder I think he was douchey

So the more than you just you know it. There's no people that you hang out Friends I do some are cool you like what's her name? Anna she's super cool. Yeah, I like her. She's not dou not do she's like my I know I love Anna and um Kevin who works in the office he's cool is Kevin is it Kevin? There's no boys here except for our oh okay my bad I'm high right now my bad okay are you okay you know who I'm talking about. Never mind. Kevin? Never mind. Ken. Ken.

I don't know why it's like Kevin. I'm on, how could you not put that together? Kevin Ken. Jesus Christ. Do you know who he's like? I know I didn't know who he's talking about. We know I do. So not close.

Ken. How is that Ken? Ken. It's not like it was like, he's not in the office. He's in New York. I know, but he was cool when I met him. He's so cool. We love Ken. The dou was cool when I met him. He's so cool. We love to come.

The douche meter didn't go off. That's awesome. I'd love to be a douche meter because your douche meter starts at 10 and it's got to go down. You think most people are douchey. No, no, just a douchey hanging over. No, not a lot of them. That's true.

You never met them. Crazy. So one more thing I got to say to you here, Julia, is that there's lots of blogs on the website about how to masturbate if you have done it before and like how to make it the best experience for you. So that's my advice to you, sweetie. And don't be so hard on yourself. I'm glad you're putting yourself out there. And I think you're going to surprise yourself at how much you do know and how comfortable you are with sex. And if not, so what? It's the learning process. It's fun.

Sorry, Ken. I'm running on no sleep. I your name, Ken. I don't know why it's like heaven. Ken's has a thick skin. Skin? Skull? Thick skin. Skull? That's my reason. I'm tired too.

All right. So, but this is exciting. We're moving to voicemails. This is our first voicemail. Cool. Let's do it. Thank you for calling. Hi, I'm Courtney.

I am in the Sacramento area, and I had a question about how to revive my sex life with my partner. We have an at-sex in over two and a half years for a number of reasons. My partner is more vanilla than me. I tend to be a bit more adventurous. I'm into tink and bisexual. So not quite sure how to fix things.

We really want to try to settle down and start to raise a family, but first we want to figure out how to fix things. We really want to try to settle down and start to raise a family, but first we want to figure out how to improve our intimacy. So if there's any books or anything you might suggest to try to do this on our own without getting a counselor, that would be great. Thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback. Sweet.

I feel like Courtney is here with us in the room. Yeah, that was really cool. That was really personal. I love it. Courtney, what's up? What's up? I love Sacramento. I feel like Courtney is here with us in the room. Yeah, that was really cool. That was really personal. I love it. Courtney, what's up? It's just a little bit more. I love Sacramento. It's capital.

Raise it. So Courtney. I know, so weird that's the capital. It's a little bit more. So Courtney, okay, so thank you for calling. This is a big moment here. First voicemail. Okay, two and a half years, you said no sex.

Let me just make sure you said you've had zero sex and you want to build a life together and you're bisexual and you're kinky and he's not and he's vanilla. So we're already starting from a challenging place, okay? But it sounds like you really love him and you want to be with him. And so I would suggest, and you don't want to see a counselor, that you guys have some work to do. But this is some fun work. You already know. The good news is you know

what turns you on. And I'm not sure if he's just not into being, you know, bondage because he's never tried it or a domination or kinky or stuff. So I think that there needs to be some educating here. And, and I think that some real conversations about what turns you both on and the book I would recommend is Making Love Real. The Intelligent Couples Guide to Lasting Intimacy and Passion. It's by Danielle Harrell and Celeste Hirschman. You can buy it on Amazon. It's called Making Love Real by Danielle Harrell and Celeste Hirschman. And it's part of the somatical work that I'm doing.

The courses I'm taking to San Francisco. And really when I read this book and what I'm going through, I feel like it helps couples connect with what they truly want on an intimate and a sexual level, like your erotic energy, like what turns you on, what turns him on. He might kind of intellectually understand that you're into King, but not know how to do it, and you understand, think he's vanilla, but maybe he's not as

vanilla as he thinks. So if you guys can go through this book, there's exercises that you can do as a couple. I think this could save your relationship or at least let you figure out if this is really the guy that you should be marrying and spending the rest of your life with. So that's my advice. Love it. Love it. Still thinking about Sacramento. They have a really good sushi place there. I forget the name of that. They have sushi in Sacramento. Oh yes, so good at the mall.

At the mall. At the mall. Okay, you lost me with sushi at the mall. No, no, no, it's a high-end restaurant. At the mall. It just happens to be at the mall. Oh, sushi at the mall. How'd the sushi get in there?

No, you don't know. You don't know. I don't know. Don't knock until you try it. I don't have time. I'm not going to Sacramento for anything in that sushi. No, you don't know. You don't know. I don't know. Don't not can tell you try it. I don't have time. I'm not going to talk about anything in that position. No, I like Sacramento. I used to work in politics, dude.

I was there all the time. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Okay, should we get, we have one more voicemail. Yes. For today. I just tested this, you guys.

I don't want to freak your old voicemails, but I think it's kind of fun. What did you think of that? I loved it. I loved it. Like, I love hearing from the listeners. Just like I say, when I see you out on the street, and you come say hi, it makes my friggin life.

Now, if you wanna leave your own voice mail, go to sexwithemlee.com and click on Ask Emily. I'll give you the number again. I'll give you the number again just in case, and that is eight one eight, two seven five, seven nine three one. That's eight one eight, two seven five, seven nine three one. And if you're driving, you can't write it down.

Once again, the sex with the web site asks Emily. It's right there. OK. OK, let's check this out. What do we got? Check it. Hi, Emily. My name is Brandon.

I'm age 37. I live in Wichita Falls, Texas. I have a question regarding your most recent episode about surviving a breakup. I just happened to work with the person that I broke up with most recently. And I was wondering if you have any advice for dealing with a situation where you see each other on a daily basis.

Thank you. Wow. Thank you so much for calling. That is such a great question for men because he banged to everyone in his office to definitely go literally everyone. Is that true or not real? True. But I don't know like it wasn't really a relationship.

So yeah, I don't know how it wasn't really a relationship so yeah I don't know how like mad is just being them once no no I've definitely I had like long-term Girlfriends that I worked with and then we broke up and we continued to have to work with each other I don't know it depends I guess how bad the break up was I never really had well I kind of maybe did have a bad one, but it's just like when you're not work, you're just like, you're just work focused. You don't even, I know you used to have a relationship

with this person. You see them all the time. But when you're not work, you pretend that never even happened. Guys are so good at that. You just turn it off. You're like, you are the secretary. You are the production assistant. I am. Yeah, I mean, you could, but here's the thing.

But that's how you had to, I mean, how else would you have a thing? Yeah, you got to like, and here's the thing, I know that you're going to want to really try to like, you know, you might, I'm sure you still have feelings for it. Sounds like, you know, you're actually, the fact that you're calling and asking leads me to believe that it was probably, you know, an intense relationship and you were together while you're having emotions about it and you got to see her every day. And my heart goes out of you because I know when I break up with someone it's hard like I just, you need distance.

Like I typically tell people you need to like six months, three months, so you don't see them. And so you got to see her every single day. And so I would just say you know do your best to, I don't know how big your office is, but just to, if you know that she always goes to lunch at this place to avoid, you know, going into that place. And I would just say that like, like, when I said, if you can just like keep your head down and like make other groups of friends and don't go to the happy hour for a few weeks, I

know that you're friends too with the work happy hour, but things you can do to distance yourself. And also I would say, start to like, you know, make maybe there's stuff after work you can start planning things that you look forward to, like taking a class or going to the gym and start like rearranging your schedule a bit. Other thing I would just warn against is talking about her and talking about your situation. You don't want to create drama in the office. And I even have people ask about it. Say it's fun.

Yeah, because you can't trust anybody. Everyone talks about everybody and you don't want to triangulate, meaning you're going to start talking to each other. You don't want to bring your drama because it's your job. I mean, obviously, it'd be great if you could quit and get a new job. That would be maybe easier, but I'm not going to suggest that because you've a job. I'm sure you really like. Um, and you can get through this. You can. And right now it's probably really hard because gosh, I

get I would not want to be in that situation, but just you got to like use some self control here. Because I know part of you might want to see her and check it out and see how she's doing and rekindle and it'll be easier to like have a late night hook up, but just don't do not cross that barrier. And eventually it will get easier and you'll just see her as that girl who works in the office. Yeah, act like you never even dated. Yeah, don't we mean to her and don't talk badly about her, but just keep moving on

your life and then maybe don't fish off the company peer in the future But I don't want against it because I feel like I get why people do date people they work with because we spend so much time in the office But yeah, I just wish you luck and again just take care of yourself and be strong and Keep just your wits about you God speed God speed. Yo That was fun. I feel like oh you love the white males. I really do. I feel like I understand and we connected Yeah, that's great. Yeah, and um you guys yeah your age also helps people did that I don't know how much time we give them but a little more information is fine But not too much like we say like leave it to a minute, but like a minute or two is fine. Yeah, right?

That was good. What else minus Minus time to wrap up this part. Wrap it up. But it's great. Again, if you want to leave a voicemail, you don't have to leave, you don't have to say your real name or your real city or whatever. But definitely give your age, go to sexamely.com, click on ask Emily. I'll have the phone right there for you if you need it. So true. And you can still go old school, send some emails or whatever. And there's always, Emily stepping up her hot picks for some reason on Instagram.

Yeah. She's trying to, she's going out there fishing for some kind. I'm just hot. That's why. Oh, okay. Instagram.com slash sex with Emily. Also, the Snapchat is super fun.

There's sex toys and all kinds of craziness that's happening in the office. You know, Emily, she works in office with the all women. So they're, they're getting dirty in here. So make sure. Well, yeah, we're having an orgy right now. We're snappet. So you better find it. And I'm super excited for you to be in Brooklyn coming up. That's awesome. I know. 10th, 24th and 25th, I'll be in Brooklyn in October. I'm gonna be in Germany and the UK and travel all around there.

So I can't wait to see all my listeners and is there anything else? I think that's what we got for you today. Ah, love you, Menace. How about you, Menace? Fine you, Menace. The Woody Show podcast. Yeah, the Woody Show podcast.

Money through Friday, we post. It's about pop culture and news. What's going on in the world. You can download it on iTunes and SoundCloud and all that. So download the Woody show. Do that. Okay. Thanks, man.

I love you. Thank you, producer Madison and thank you, Laurie and Jamie and Ken for Kevin. Kevin. We have to hire Kevin. And see more our intern. Yeah. Maurice, sorry, I always come see more. See, you messed up on the name.

Don't give me crap. I'm gonna get see more from. Okay, how did you guys not know that I was talking about Ken when I said Kevin? It's not a far fetched. It's not like it was Jacob and Ken. We both didn't know when Maurice the intern didn't know. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ It's almost that time again. The Sexual Health Expo is back. And this time time it's taking place in one of my favorite cities on earth, New York City. I'm so honored to once again be hosting this one-of-a-kind event like seriously. What other event brings today's top sex educators and the hottest pleasure products together under one roof?

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So mark your calendars for September 24th and 25th and get ready to come visit me in Brooklyn. Whether you walk, run, drive, fly, swim, or uber, you're in for two days of sex positive education and fun. Just reserve your free tickets, visit sexualhealthexpo.com today. And remember, the free tickets are limited to the first 2,000 reservations.

So don't wait, these will disappear quickly. I'll see you there. There.