Sex With Emily - Physically Fit Fornication with MindPump

Episode Date: August 3, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by the guys from MindPump Radio to talk about how health and fitness affect your sex life. Emily, Sal, Adam, and Justin dive deep into the ways fitness can affect your life – from your hormones to your self-confidence, and even between the sheets. Plus, they help listeners get over penis anxiety – from vibrators to circumcision. Thank you for supporting out sponsors who help keep the show FREE: Womanizer, Fleshlight, Apex Follow Emily: @sexwithemily Follow MindPump: @mindpumpradio Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by the guys from Mind Pump Radio to talk about how health and fitness affect your sex life, as well as how to finally get comfortable with your body and yourself. This is a crazy for some, I love these guys, so get ready. All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, though? What do you mean, like laundry? It's drinks. Can we not talk about sex so. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithanley.com. Check out our site, because it's a good time.

It'll help you better sex and relationships just like listening to this podcast because that's what I'm all about, and my team is all about, we're constantly producing information and podcasts and blogs to help you have the sex life that you deserve because we all deserve amazing sex. And let's interact.

Let's get together on social media. It's all at sex with Emily Cross the board, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and I really help you guys enjoy today's show with the Mind Pump Guys, Adam, Sal and Justin. I love the way they make health and diet accessible. Let's you think guys in this field are just beefy meatheads think again. They're just they're intelligent, they're thoughtful, they're caring, and they really know what they're talking about. They're gonna make you want to get healthy, I promise. They're gonna make you want to get to the gym and probably into bed. So I hope you guys enjoy this interview and let me know what you think. I've got the mind pump guys here. I love you guys. I did one podcast. I feel like I was on your podcast.

Very successful, fun, informative, changing lives sort of thing. Mind Pump. And I really enjoyed being on your show. So I'm so glad you guys came to the Sex with Emily office to share all of your wisdom that you know about health and fitness and how it, your own relationships. Because I love that you guys are so, so what can first introduce you guys? So I was talking to Adam, right in the last name,

shaffer, Justin, Justin Andrews, Sal, Sal the Stefano. Right, Sal the Stefano, we're gonna have all of their links on them in the show notes.

I love that you guys are so, you might all start out as trainers, right? And then you, but you also like, you work with people to sit in a really smart way. Like you have the Emotional intelligence you help people like with life skills It's not just about like working out We just also really important but kind of holistic approach to having people feel like they're best selves

You have to if you if you've been training people for as long as we have because we've been Working in your background how you all met and all that stuff So I've been in fitness for 20 years and these guys for over 15 and We actually met right before we started the show, but we all worked we all started in the same company We'll start at 24 our fitness managing health clubs, okay, but if you've been training people for as long as we have you start to learn that That's the most important part about helping people get become successful is that vulnerability that That psychological aspect of that relationship building helping people get become successful, is that vulnerability, that psychological aspect of that relationship building,

helping people change their behaviors. It's not about eat this diet and do this workout as much as it is, how can I communicate what I know, and how can I communicate it effectively, and how can I get you to change your behaviors in fundamental ways, and usually that means one small step at a time, and it also means being empathetic and vulnerable. And so we do on the show a lot of,

it's because you see three meet head looking guys, right? But we share a lot of our own vulnerabilities and people are like, oh my God, I can't believe you guys do that. It's like, you know, I learned to do that because it made me so much more of an effective trainer. Because clients would look for business. Absolutely, because clients would look at you

and think, oh, you're a trainer, what do you know? Or you have to be approachable. For sure, there's judgment, right. I could see that. So that was your incentive because you all were loving what you do. Absolutely. And you want people, there's a lot of trainers out there

but the fact that you can actually connect with your clients and they kept coming back. So was there a moment though most men, I'm gonna say are a lot of men, something happens in their life where like maybe there's a death or a divorce or they get an ultimatum. And I'm not saying, oh, men, but many men, and that's their incentive. But for you guys, it was a work that you really loved.

I think it was, for me, it was, I remember after about four or five years that I had been in the company. At this point, it was a very sales-motivated business. And so you were measured by your success of how much you sold in the company or how well your club or facility did. Most of us managed facilities. And so I had, you know, broke all kinds of records. I was considered number one. I was so good. And five years later, I was kind of reflecting on, okay, well, what about my clients as far as like the results? They're saying, well, I was really good at convincing you to buy personal training and to keep buying from me.

But when I really looked at like all the people that I trained, if I was completely honest with myself, maybe 15 to 20% saw and kept the results forever. So I was really failing 80% or more of these people, but yet I'm considered the best. And if I'm considered the best, like in the best is fit, but what was wrong. It's a big corporate mentality like self-self, but your heart was like what? What, what, what? It was just, I was, I finally kind of,

I think at the beginning I rode the high of the success and making money and that kind of filling that void for a while, and then I realized that I wasn't really truly helping these people. And I think we all kind of had a similar situation where that had happened for us. And I think that's where for me, that's where I really started to change and started to look deeper into what I was exactly doing. And what I found was, you know, the industry spends so much time focusing on like supplements and the quick 30-day

fix and the magic pill. And, you know, and what I realized was none of that stuff really matter. Like none of my clients that did actually see incredible results, that wasn't the reason why, because they took some supplement I gave them, I gave them some miracle diet. It was the people that you were able to connect with on a more psychological level and break through that piece. And what I started to realize is they weren't that much different

than all of us in this room, which you know, we were driven by insecurities. Most of us that go to the gym, we go to the gym because there's something about ourselves that we don't like. I was a skinny guy who couldn't build muscle, and so that was what drove me to the gym. I think once we started to look, or personally, when I started to look into the psychological piece and digging deeper into people's why, like why are you here, and first addressing that, and trying to help them uncover that first, then I started to realize,

or started to see them get real success, and long-term success. Now it was not, it wasn't faster, it took longer of a process. Real change always takes a lot longer. It does, that's amazing. I love that, like a lot. I think all of us were very somewhere that way.

Very similar. I remember for me, it was learning, people will come to you and say, I want to lose weight, I want to lose 30 pounds and you ask them, well, why? And ultimately, at the end, they say, well, so I can be happy. And you know, at one point, I realized you, the order is reversed. It's not lose weight and get happy. It's you get happy and then you lose the weight. And when I figured that out, I actually figured it out for myself.

Like Adam was saying, I was very motivated. I was very insecure growing up. I was very skinny. A kid, I wanted to build more muscle. And so I dedicated myself to working out as a result and never really felt better about myself. In fact, the bigger I got, the more muscular I became. The worse I treated my body and the less fulfillment

I got from what I was doing, then I had my son. And I have two kids now, but my son was born and watching him grow up. He's like the spinning image of me. He's exactly like I am and all good and bad, right? Not athletic skinny kid, just like I was. And I was sitting there looking at him one day playing as a young boy and I was thinking,

gosh, I love this kid more than anything. And then right then and there, at the time my wife said to me, oh, he's just like you, you know, he's just like you, totally. And I said, and it dawned on me. How come I can love him the way I do, but I can't love me, you know, in that same way. And it was in that moment, I realized like, okay, I need to, I need to come out this completely differently.

I need to, the motivation behind what I do can't be behind, it can't be motivated by hate. It can't be motivated by self-hate or self-discussed. It has to be motivated by self-love if I'm going to want to truly find fulfillment in what I'm doing and maintain this forever. And that's really the secret behind a long, a long life and health and fitness. It really, really is. If you go to the gym because you want to take care of yourself, if you eat because you want to take care of yourself, the decisions that you tend to make tend to be the better ones, versus I hate myself.

And what happens when you hate yourself? Well, you treat your workouts like a punishment. So I'm going to be the crap out of myself. I'm going to beat the crap out of myself because I hate myself. You treat food like a punishment. And at some point, you rebel because who can hate themselves all the time? At some point, you rebel because who can hate themselves all the time.

At some point, you start to rebel and what does that rebellion look like? It looks like on the wagon, off the wagon. I'm either on a strict diet and I'm working out real hard or I'm not working out and I'm eating all kinds of crazy crap or whatever. This became the message that I started communicating. And it's funny because when I met these guys, I first met Adam and we got on the phone and started talking This was through some business and we started talking together We set up a meeting and we all sat down and it was all of us had come to the same conclusion And we wanted to start a podcast where we

Uncovered the bullshit in the industry because the fitness industry is very very Riddled with it a lot of day, there's something to write. Oh, it's terrible. Terrible information. It's not the solution to the health epidemic or the, you know, the health epidemic that we see here in modern societies. It's not the solution to feeling bad about yourself, like it could be, it could be the solution, but it's not.

It's actually part of the problem. And when, here's a scary thing. And for anybody who's listening right now is in the fitness industry, they'll attest. You see more eating disorders and more bad relationships with body image and food in the fitness industry that needs you outside of the fitness industry. Yeah. I mean, all the trainers that work for me,

I'd say 80% of them had some sort of an eating disorder. Wow. And it's just not what's portrayed, right? No, not at all. It's an ink covers and e-pills. Well, it's like those who can't do teach, or like what does it like the, the cobbler's kids have no shoes?

Have you ever heard that saying? Yeah. It's like when I, you know, he's a cobbler where his kids walk around barefoot. And even with me, with sex, went for so long, I was so busy doing my, starting this podcast that I wasn't dating, I wasn't making time for myself.

I used to have vibrator, like one of my jobs is trying toys. And like my sister, like, I'm like, I really, I really, I just want you to know, but I wouldn't making time for myself. I used to have a vibrator, like one of my jobs is trying toys. And like my sister really, like, I really, like, you got to know, but I wouldn't even try the toys. They're by my bed. And they'd have to remind me, like, you got to try that this weekend. My job is to masturbate and date and have sex and talk about it. And even I, so it's a, I can see that happening in a way because I was, it's not important for me. I want to help everyone else. So I think it's kind of a similar in that way. But what I want to ask you about the self-love thing, which I think is so huge in a lifelong journey, because I'm sure maybe you don't, but I still have days two where I'm like, God damn it, you fuck this up again or that again.

The negative, it's, we're not a negative self-talk essentially. I think that's how it manifests in myself. So when you looked at your kid that day's cell and you were like, okay, I'm going to start here. Obviously, that wasn't in the day that you were like, I love myself unconditionally, but what were some of the things that you switched that you really could come a place of love and not hate?

You know, because I had my child, and a lot of parents will tell you about, when you have a child, you feel this unconditional love, kind of for the first time. And so I started trying to reflect that onto myself. So when I would start to get into those spirals of hating myself

or I gotta go to the gym, I don't look good enough or why did I eat that, whatever, then I'd start thinking of my son and how I loved him and how he'd wanna take care of him, and then I'd start to reflect that on myself. And it actually was a pretty rapid, yeah. It was actually painful but rapid. Painful because you start to reveal to yourself

and start to become honest with yourself with your practices. But also fast and also fulfilling because you made those I've started to make those changes. Later on in in my career right around that time my body also started to rebel on me So it was like perfect timing all the years of the abuse that I had done to my body with you know supplements and crazy training regimes and food or whatever, my body started to rebel and I started to have to examine fitness and health from a health perspective versus from the aesthetic, how I look perspective.

And luckily, I had a wellness facility at this point. I wasn't working at 24 fitness anymore, I had my own wellness facility. And I had these health and wellness experts that worked with me who were both from the I don't know I don't know what you would call it the hippie side of the Bay Area holistic yeah so I was from the you know I'm from the like build muscle burn fat side they were from the holistic side and I respected them but you know we didn't really have too much crossover well when my health started to rebel

I turned to them and they really helped me out and changed my perspective completely. Once I started training and eating because I cared about myself and with a health focus, the irony of it was I looked better doing it that way than I had done with the previous hit. And it's funny because I wasn't even really paying attention to my appearance because at that point I kind of shut that off. Right, right. And it was about six, maybe seven months later, I started getting compliments and I started

really paying attention. I was like, whoa, wait a minute. And I looked at pictures and I said, I look better than I did before. And I'm not even focused on the aesthetic aspect. I'm just trying to take care of myself in a real sense. And I'm just focusing on health. And that's when all the like, I'm just focusing on. It's holistic too, right?

You're probably working in your mind, your body, what you're eating. I mean, really listening to my body. And you probably, you probably presented as such a brighter, like, with all that negativity that we all carry around, you probably just present people as like a much more. People say you look great too, they probably meant it, but also just the energy, if you will, they definitely. Well, I always loved working with people,

and I always loved my clients, always. So I was a much better trainer for my clients than I was for myself. This tends to be true with a lot of personal trainers by the way. Where if you'll see a trainer, you'll see your client overdoing something and you'll tell him, okay, you need to back off a little bit.

But then when it comes to me, I'm gonna go to the gym and just, this is where I'm. Yeah, this is definitely where, from coming back from an athletic training kind of background, I mean, intensity was everything. You had to own every single workout, like I just beat myself up for decades.

And the moment was actually training people, one to one, where I had to realize, well, this isn't really working for your average person. And I have to really tone it down a bit and I have to really pay attention to signs and signals of stress and how they need to recover properly. And I'm telling them all these things,

but it's still not clicking in the way that I'm training myself in my own body. And it took me, honestly, I was stubborn. It took me probably another couple of years to then for the light bulb really to come on and be like, why am I not training myself? Exactly, it's the self-love thing. It's really true, like giving to others,

often we give to others what we actually really need for ourselves too. Oh, that's it. So I even think about the love languages that we were talking about earlier, I'm obsessed with them always, but like, mine's like words of affirmation and physical touch, right? So I feel like for me a lot,

and I've noticed with everyone else too, I've been checking them, people in my life, that my biggest challenge, and I work on the stills, like negative self-talk, like you fuck that up, Emily, or why'd you do that? And I don't know where that comes from, it's been there, but yet I'm a very positive, open person, but for me, I'm not, I'm often, I don't give that same self-love. And even touch, I was talking with the masturbation thing,

I've got that down now, by the way. Not to worry people, I do masturbate, but just when I was very busy or even sexually, like I realized we crave it, but we're just, I don't know, we're not great at giving it to ourselves It's an interesting twist on it. I think if you in in regards to fitness if you because we have body image, right? So you can you can have an objective body image you can look in the mirror and say Okay, my body right now is reflecting poor health. I haven't been making the right decisions. I can either

a little overweight or I have poor posture or I look tired. And that's okay. You can be objective about your body image, but you don't want to confuse that with your with your self image. Right. Those are two completely different things. You know, it's like, what's that saying? Like you're not fat. You have fat, right? Right. It's that understanding. And the irony of all this, I think a lot of people are afraid of letting that go because they think I know I've worked with clients like well if I'm not mad and myself and I don't hate myself and I'm just gonna eat whatever I want I'm a stop working out. That's not true at all it's the exact opposite you literally start to take care of yourself like somebody you care about and the decisions you make when you're in that state of mind are always often better than the ones you make when you hate yourself. How do you treat things that you hate? You don't treat them very well at all.

Exactly. It's so true. We think that we have to be hard on ourselves. We get this wired, we get it linked up, this wire that the wires get crossed, that we have to continually beat ourselves up and be really hard on ourselves or no progress will happen and which is what you're saying is not true. We can actually do it from a place of love. So what if you guys found you work with mostly men,

women kind of everybody now? Yeah, everybody, yeah. Yeah, I've always trained, it's always been almost even split, maybe a little bit more, and I think women more women tend to hire trainers than men, although, is true.

Yeah, and that might still be true. It was much more true early on in my career, and it still might be more true. And I just think his men are less likely to ask for help. Right, that's true. That's true. Yeah, and that might still be true. It was much more true early on in my career, and it still might be more true. I just think his men are less likely to ask for help. That's true. That's true. That might be the reason. But I was going to say, well, what have you found? I know this kind of a general question, but when you find, is there anything universal that you found like men who would come to you that continue like that you'd hear maybe about their their sex life or dating or love? Yeah, it's very, very common to get and I don't think I even put this together until I got into my mid 30s, but to get a mid 30 and above mail, it's really, really common to hear low

libido, low sex drive, not a lot of sex. So men, right? Yeah. Very, very common. It's like that whole myth that's women. Yeah. You don't write. And when I was a when I was a young 20 year old trainer, I used to always think to myself, like, oh, man, that's supposed to be him. I'll never be like that because I work out and I eat well. And I actually went through that in my 30s.

I felt the same thing. And, you know, I didn't realize that how much the stress and the work and all that could affect my libido. And so it was one of the best things that I ever went through because it gave me this different perspective now and it made me a better coach because before I was always speaking to nutrition and exercise, which is extremely important when talking about hormones and men and testosterone

and their libido, but I also realized how important like learning to either meditate or take time for yourself and have balance in your life can really affect that also. Yes, yes. I would have to say that the lack of activity, if you were to look at, or lack of proper activity, if you would look generally at the male population, is probably one of the top contributors

to low testosterone in particular. I know that testosterone levels have been declining now for a few decades, and then when they test them, and one of the single most effective things a man can do to raise his natural testosterone, and this is true for women as well, in terms of balancing out the ratio of estrogen to progesterone is resistance training,

not just exercise and activity, but specifically weight training. Yeah, because resistance training, well, in fact cardio and other types, it could be worse. It may actually be negative, right? Because we tend to overdo cardio. I mean, you can overdo any type of exercise, but proper resistance training in order for your body to become stronger and build muscle, if you're doing it right and you're measuring progress based off of your performance in the gym.

So am I stronger? Are my muscles more conditioned? Am I building any muscle? In order for that to happen, there has to be this ideal, anabolic environment. So this ideal ratio of things like testosterone, growth hormone,

and then a women estrogen and progesterone. And when your body's in that state where it wants to build muscle, metabolism speeds up. So for women, what does that mean? When your metabolism speeds up means, okay, now I can feed myself more. My body literally can be more fertile.

In fact, many times I've had women who over-diated and over-trained, who lost their periods. Then they come and do traditional resistance training. We do what's called a reverse diet where we slowly increase their calories. Then they would start to get their period back and see hormones bounce out. Yeah, they're such massive relationships.

Yeah. And then same thing with men, I would have them lift weights. Many times I'd increase their healthy fat, decrease their processed carbohydrate intake, give them better sleep. And within months, you would see testosterone level structure. And I know this through tests. I would have been able to go to the other. No, that's amazing.

I feel like that hormones are so misunderstood. And it really is a contributing factor just to so many things, to moods, yeah, to fertility, just, I mean, a lot of it and we don't really, it's hard to test, test out, you know, it's kind of hard to test. You guys did a show on this as well. I love all, you guys have covered like everything

on your show and I feel like, yeah, that's a big one and I do think, yeah, low libido or low drive. Stress is one of the biggest killers of our sex right too. So if you're stressed, you're about, but to kind of, I didn't know about resistance training either. Yeah, because- And diet. And I think that we were fed so much.

I know that I, like in the 90s, it was the whole, like, I feel like I dig it screwed by the food pyramid. It was like grains and all that stuff, the low fat. And I did all of that. I was like, no, it's so stupid. And I did, I was really, I was a marathon runner and I was like, wasn't lifting weights since I'm now,

yeah, it's good to be- Oh yeah, low fat and marathon training is an ideal way to destroy your hormones. I could just throw the balance out and cause all the side effects of having control. Which, right, which people can show up as anxiety, depression, all these things, you know, and I think that, I didn't realize that at the time,

and this is why so many people are over-medicated, they're taking antidepressants or anxiety or other pills, blood pressure, and a lot of it could be controlled with health, diet, and sleep, which is why I love that you guys cover all of that. Is there anything in particular, so for men who are saying resistance training and for women resistance, what about foods? Like, what do you, it's so hard because there's so many different, there's so much different information out there. There's a lot of variables, right? There's, and every person you'll be hearing is going to be uniquely different.

You can say there's like, right. But I would say there's, there's some general truths that we tend to run in and I think because of the, you know, from 1980 to whatever it was where we were on the low fat thing and everything was low fat. So I think that was one of the biggest ones that I had to switch up as a trainer, because I was a part of that. I mean, I had subscribed to the nonfat milk and did all that stuff in my early 20s, chicken breasts,

and low fat. So I think, and also to get in shape, you push real hard on cardio and do those things. So I think even though there's gonna be individual variances, I do think that's a good general truth. That most people that struggle with this this a good place to look is Are you getting enough healthy fats? And back to Sal's strength training like so I went through so when in my early 20s

I messed around with anabolic steroids, handful of times, didn't do the right protocol afterwards and forever kind of fucked up my sex drive And I didn't really notice it until I got into my 30s. And when I turned 30, I went and got tested and I was below normal. And so they put me on TRT. And I was on that for, you know, it's now one of my 36, so almost six years. And I'm on nine months now of no hormone therapy. And I've been doing everything I can to naturally kick it up.

And I share this on the show. So people that, so men that are listening that may be struggling with this. And so I'm definitely really, really low because of the things I did. And even if you're just low from stress and other things, I can tell you that, you know, and I'm very careful about how I add things into my diet or I add certain regimens that are new, like, okay, or a new tool. For example, like infrared, like a jive light, like I've used that. I've done the sauna stuff, I've done meditation,

I've done the blue blockers before night, so I get better sleep. Like, out of all the things that I've done, there's nothing more powerful than when I go into like a heavy squat or a lift day, and then I feel what I feel like afterwards. And if I don't train for four or five days in a row and I can feel a dip big time.

The squat, because of the power of the... Just because it's a big floor. Because it's a big gross motor movement. Yeah. Yeah. Gross motor movement meaning you're using a lot of your body. So, so... So, your whole body can treat me to that exercise.

Okay. Yeah, not all resistance trainings exercises are created equal. Some are more effective than others, and the barbell squat, deadlift, overhead press, barbell rows, pull ups, like these big, gross motor movements, by far cause the most change for the amount of time spent you're doing them. So like three sets of a barbell squat

will give you the effects of like three times as many of different exercise, if not more. Now I share that because one of the hardest things for me to do, it was extremely hard to even get up to go exercise. Like if any male, any male that's listening to that time. I was going to say, yeah, what's the motivation for what I just hate exercise is. The only, luckily I knew I needed to. Like I knew, I knew the things that I needed to do in order to to get this back naturally.

And if I had any chance whatsoever that I would have to get in there and do that. So when I get in there, I just did not have the same motivation I did when I was competing and when I was training clients. And so it was like I got to get in here and do at least two or three things that are going to help me. And that was that like Sal was just saying the squatting, the deadlifting, those I just do five, six sets of that. Okay. Just to get for women too or is it more about? Absolutely I need to get back into the journey. I need a long-term.

And I think that's part of what's wrong with this industry is that we over-copplicate some things like and we make it sound like oh Then you got to do this special exercise and follow this regimen and do this and do that It's like they're just get in there if you haven't been training for a really long time, like get in there and work on squatting. It's especially a lot of misinformation with women, you know, in general, like just with having lifting in general, like not just doing a ton of reps because all you see, like in infomercials

is like, women doing a ton of reps and this is an answer to get a ton, right? So yeah, we're always trying to stress the fact that, like, if you can hire a a coach or if you can hire somebody That knows what they're doing and really like learn this is a skill. It's gonna last you so much longer It's gonna be so much more effective For you to to learn how to like properly back load squat and do deadlifts and things like that that are gonna have way more Effect on your body that you've never experienced before. That's really good

So what if people don't have like access to a gym or a trainer, but they wanna work out, I have people that's all over the world, like where do you even start? That's one part of the question. The other is like, we're up, the people are just like, I hate working out, I'll never do it.

It's a, it's a have to go, but I don't like it. Like do you think you can switch those people? Yeah, so you know, most people are like that. And it's kind of like the nutrition thing too, is you have to first start to make a different connection with what you're doing. Right. And I think part of the reason why we eat bad food

and we love these things is because we've learned to numb ourselves with food and we don't really make the connection of like, how our body feels post eating that meal and the next day in the day after. Just about the taste. And the same thing goes for eating healthy food. Like, you know, and some people that have been on a diet for a while and ate really well, they kind of make the connection.

Like, oh, I feel so good, but then it's short-lived and then they go in the indulge and they forget all about it. So like when we talk to clients about exercise and training, you know, we try not to talk about the weight loss, the weight gain, and the aesthetics. So healthy. And talk more about like how you feel. Like so instead of us getting on a scale and measuring you up or down and stuff like that, I'm asking questions on your sex drive and how are you sleeping and how are your relationships and your energy level and how's work been for you and how you getting up in the morning

and how you falling asleep. And like when you start to help them make those connections, because I guarantee you that once you start exercising all those fucking things, they start getting better. And when you start making the mental connection that all those things make work, you perform better, make your bedroom better, make your relationships better, then you start looking at exercise instead of this daunting task that I need to do to counter this bullshit bad eating or to get rid of this body fat. And you start looking at it like, when I do this, I'm a better version of myself.

Right, I'm happier. Yes, and when you can make that connection, then the whole gym process is not that daunting, but you first need to make that connection of all the positive benefits that you're getting from it. And then it doesn't need to be so crazy either. Like, that's another thing. That's a big one. Like, you don't have to go beat the crap out of yourself

when you go to the gym. You wanna do the minimum effective dose. That's always the best prescription, the minimum effective dose. And if you're a beginner, if you're new, if you haven't worked out in a while, it doesn't take that much. It doesn't.

No, and the reason why the body changes when you exercise is because it's adapting to a stress. So it's really no different than getting a tan from going out in the sun. If you've been in your basement for the last five years, how much sunlight are you gonna need to see before your skin reacts, starts to get darker? And how much sun do you need to see

before you get a sunburn? See what I'm saying? Same thing when you exercise. But back to Adam's point of thought. It's a quick result right away is what you're saying. Absolutely. And back to Adam's point about making those connections, I'll give you a great example when it comes to food.

Because a lot of times when we eat food, we think of the food based off of one main signal which is the taste. How does this taste? How does it make me feel right now? And that's one signal, but there's a lot of signals that can be attached to food. And I'll give you a great example.

When I go to the movies, I crave popcorn. And no other time do I crave popcorn. And that's because of the associations that the, whatever, popcorn industry or whatever has made for me. You can do this with other things. So I'll give you a great example. I had a client who, she was, had one of the worst diets I'd ever seen in my life.

She didn't drink water, all she had was diet, cocoa day. And little by little, I would have her change her things to her diet. And one of the things I would have her change her things to her diet. And one of the things that I wanted to change was I wanted her to eat more vegetables, but she absolutely hated them. She hated the taste of the vegetables.

They made her gout. So I taught her, okay, let's start with the vegetable you can tolerate the most, which was broccoli. I said, have a little bit of broccoli. What I want you to do is I want you to pay attention how you feel before, during, and after, and then the next day. And so little by little, she started noticing

my digestion is better, my skin is better, I have more energy. And little by little, because she was making those positive associations, what do you think started to happen? She started to crave the broccoli. She started to want to eat that broccoli. Food manufacturers have known this for a very long time.

They're constantly trying to make these associations for you and it's not just the taste of the food. I'm gonna look at the commercials, right? You're drinking beer and it's got hot chicks around, you're doing whatever. It actually works and you can do that to yourself and you do that with exercise, you do nutrition. And part of it is, look, when I go to the gym,

am I going here because I hate myself? That's a negative association. Of course, I'm gonna hate going to the gym. But how about if I go to the gym, like I wanna take care of myself today, I'm gonna go to the gym and just, going here because I hate myself? That's a negative association. Of course, I'm going to hate going to the gym. But how about if I go to the gym, like, I want to take care of myself today, I'm going to go to the gym and just, I'm going to feel good. It's true. Well, now I'm enjoying the process. And when you enjoy the process, then it really doesn't matter. The goal, who cares about the goal, I'm enjoying the process. Right. Exactly. Well, people, people also tend to punish themselves when they go in

the gym too. And it's like, back to what Sal was mentioning, like, you know, the goal is to do as little as possible to elicit the most amount of change. And so instead of like, what happens to every single client ever train, which is it's January, you know, wait a little bit more. Right, right, right, I'm gonna start eating clean, I'm gonna exercise every day. It's still January, all my alcoholic friends, like, come on.

Yeah. We should just temper it like throughout the year anyway. Right, and it's like, instead of going from eating garbage, drinking alcohol, sitting on your ass, not exercising, all like, how about you just start with walks every day? I think we'll do one thing. Yeah, let's go for a walk for 30 minutes to an hour. Literally a walk could help you.

Literally. You guys don't like a more of the filmmaker, right? And I remember him saying like, for years ago, he's like, I started doing, he's always been overweight 10,000 steps a day, like they'll fit bit. But that just changed him, like it's a walk, we can all walk, you're so right. And then you start with that

and then you slowly build it. I think the part that people get discouraged or don't like it so much because it seems so, like if you're not someone who works out and then I'll send you follow some magazine guys workout or magazine girls workout, it's like that's so intense, there's so much volume in that.

There's no reason why a 40 year old girl or guy who just got in the gym for the first time in over a year has any business doing anything close to that. In fact, it would be a terrible strategy. Even if I don't blame people though. I mean, that's what's being marketed to us. You know, it's like you have to like kill yourself and you have to look like the superhero that you idolize.

Right. So everybody has like a magazine they follow, they have some TV show where they, you know, want to look like so-and-so, and that's what they're coming into the gym with. And it's like this unreasonable deadline to accomplish like this specific look. And I mean, we're all susceptible to that.

Yeah, we are. I'm glad you guys kind of went through all of it. So I think you guys are such great teachers. Well, you really are like your great teachers and like leaders, people in the space and I guess. Years of mistakes. Yeah. That's how we learn from all of the things you have to. But I love that you guys the way you guys talk about it and you're so open. So everyone can check out your podcast. We're going to take a quick break and give a shout to our sponsors who we love and then a few more questions for you. And I'll be right back with

the Mind Pump guys. Okay guys, Adam Justin Sal. This has been fun. I love it. I have more questions for you about the people that you've been seeing or people you've heard from your podcast. What are some changes that you've seen from people's self-confidence, body image, and how it relates to their sex lives after adopting a healthier lifestyle? Oh, I mean like a four-after story. My favorite favorite favorite demographic to train as a trainer and I have for love the old people. I love people in advanced age. For many reasons, one advanced age would be considered into nice ways to say an old people. Over the silvery was. Over 55 is considered advanced age would be considered into nice way. Nice way of saying old people over the silvery was over 55 is considered advanced age, but reality is most of what once these people were over 60 and 65. Okay. And the reason why I love training is there's a few reasons.

One, there's just great wisdom. I so love asking for advice. They're also very honest. And the other reason why I love training with them is I would always get this same comment about two to three months into our training, especially with the ladies I would train. So we'd be working out, we'd be working on mobility at first,

building some strength, oh now they can squat properly, now they can move better, they can reach up above their head, they're feeling stronger. And then inevitably about two or three months into the training, they come in and they look at me and then, you know, I'd always ask them,

like how are you feeling? Like what changes are you noticing? I'm feeling hot. And they'd be in, you know, and they'd say something like, so I feel more energetic. I'm like, so you just have more energy you wake up in the morning. No, no.

Vibrant? Yeah, more, and I'd be like, is your libido higher? Yes. My libido is much higher. Is that normal? Absolutely normal. Always. Every single time they would have an increase in libido higher? Yes. My libido is much higher. Is that normal? Absolutely normal. Always. Every single time they would have an increase in libido,

and I think there's a multi-pronged reason as to why their libido would be healthier. One, your body's healthier. Obviously a healthy body is gonna have a more natural, healthy sex response to the bouncing of the hormones. Also, I think resistance training in particular has this incredible power of sculpting and shaping the body.

So you start to feel tight and firm. And versus just getting skinny, you feel more firm and you start to feel more confident with your body. And then for the ladies that I would train, something that was quite common, one of the comments that I was quite common was that they felt more empowered. I guess strong is very empowering to be strong,

but especially if you're a woman and you feel like you're either not supposed to be strong or you've never really felt strong, now they felt more confident they could lift things. And I- They don't even help putting the suitcase above the- Right. And that's all confidence.

So, ladies drop one on my head today, she did She did really? Literally today on the way over here some lady dropped to fucking suitcase Oh my god, I can see like you're doing that Oh my god, you need to help me out with that Yeah, super common for people to comment that their libido would and I know for myself Yeah

When I'm judging the effectiveness of my routine I know my libido is one of the routine, I know my libido is one of the best signals. If my libido is strong and healthy, I know my workouts are effective. When my libido starts to drop, I'm usually because I'm overdoing my workout. We're not training properly, so it's a really good signal. Well, it's a good signal. You can also, too, if you're training correctly, too, and you're hitting the body balanced,

we're training all the muscles and the body balanced. You also start to stand upright. It's crazy what it does for your posture. Like, all of a sudden you, and of course, I have all the same stories that Sal does with clients. I mean, 100% across the board, it's rare that you get a client

who hasn't been training for a long time that's above 35 years or older that you get into exercise and they can't, because libido always goes up, always. I thought the guy's such a good, yeah. I noticed like, I think for me, I thought it was crazy that, I'm a fitness guy and even when I'm,

quote unquote, out of shape, I'm still in better shape than the average person, but I even noticed my own personal habits and Katrina was the one to really call me out on this is we go in these little vacations for a while and I kind of fall off a tiny bit. And then the next thing you notice is I start, you know, waiting till right before bed before I take my shirt off. I turn the lights off and I get naked and stuff like that. And then on the total opposite when I'm feeling like walking around naked, she's the kind of the neighbors

and we're like, I don't care. Windows open, walk around the whole whole house brushing my teeth all morning long and so when I see that in myself with just the little bit of change in my physique and training that it affects me that much I can only imagine that my clients who have you know are really really out of shape how insecure they have to fill with their bodies which then in turn reflects their confidence with their partner, and then which in turn then probably affects their sex with their partner.

So I know it's a night and day difference when I exercise. I can totally, yeah. I know that's true too for, you know, I have the same kind of things when I'm in shape, but I'm out of shape, taking my shirt off a little later, all those things in my clothes. But body image is huge for people, like so many men and women are like, they don't want to have sex, they're health. I mean, there's so many things

that contribute to people not wanting to have sex. So I love what you guys are saying here. I think this is gonna be super inspiring for my listeners. And you guys also have a program, right? People can sign up for it. They have multiple programs. And the way we design them was to target different goals and different circumstances.

So for example, you earlier you had said, well, what if somebody does- I've listed it all over the world. I'm like, I want them to know you. Yeah, so like you said, like, what would it, what does someone do if they don't have access to a gym? So we created a program called Maps Anywhere where you can literally do this at home. You could do it in a hotel room. You don't need any equipment to follow that program.

Then we have programs for more hardcore people. Like if you are experienced then you want to train more like a physique competitor, bikini competitor, or the stage presentation athletes where you kind of sculpt your body and look a particular way. We have a program for that. We have a program for people who have some experience

but really want to get into traditional resistance training. We have programs for correctional exercise. So a big thing that when you first start training a client, typically where you start them off is you start them off with correctional exercise. So a big thing that when you first start training a client, typically where you start them off, is you start them off with correctional exercise. You want to eliminate all the pain. All the bad habits they've been great. Yeah, you're coming with a lot of baggage.

And you want the body to be able to move in a more optimal way so that when you start to progress them, chance of injury is low. And there are optimal and sub-optimal ways that the body moves and the joints move and whatever. So we also have programs like Maps Prime and Maps Prime Pro, which is designed to create what are called favorable recruitment patterns.

Because, you know, not to get too deep in the wheat, but pain typically comes in two different categories or two flavors. You have a cute pain, which is like, I hurt myself, I fell down. And then there's the chronic pain, like, oh, my back bothers me or my shoulder bothers me. The chronic types of pain is the more common ones that we see, especially today in modern societies, and that's the result of poor recruitment patterns.

Like, you know, I have neck pain, why? Well, because I sit at a computer all the time, and now my muscles have adjusted to that posture, and some of the muscles are weak, other ones are tight and I'm holding myself in the sub-optimal position. So now when I try and move or do anything, I'm causing myself some pain. So we have a program that creates more favorable recruitment patterns so that you feel better. And then from there, we can move to the more traditional exercise and get much better. I would love you guys to turn you on and turn it down in a second. But to watch your programs, because I think you guys, I'm sure they're all,

I mean, haven't seen you yet, but I know you guys do good work. Well, we went in a lot of deep, I mean, we're, I think we're up to what, eight or nine specific programs. And we're still, we release one every quarter. And what we started with, with very broad areas like South, saying like somebody who like you mentioned

that doesn't have a gym, then somebody who's just getting the strength training, then we have performance and athletes, and then we have more aesthetic, and then we have correctional for aches and pains. So we kind of hit all the real broad stuff, and then now we're starting to get into more niche stuff. Like we have a strong program that's getting ready to come out right now that we did a starter one for someone who's extremely de-conditioned. So we have these other programs that... It's like, it's kind of a unique take on it. I love it. So it's mind-pump media? Mind-pump media is, yeah, that's where you go to the website. Awesome. Okay, you guys.

I'm gonna there's a story that came out. I wanted you guys to have it with this as well. Let's talk about it It was a survey fitness fanatics have higher incomes more sex than couch potatoes About that if this didn't inspire you enough So it says a new study shows that people who work out frequently tend to have higher incomes than those who rarely hit the gym if people did not need enough of an incentive here, because we know that your sex life's going to be better if you work out as well. It says that those people in the regular fitness groups, people who are regularly into fitness earned an average income of 74,000 compared to just 49,000 for the less active group. Yeah, there's a strong indicator that people now feel the holistic effects

of fitness can have on their lives and not just their bodies, which is what we're saying. It's 360 inside out. Absolutely. And then yeah. Well, we've talked a little bit about like who the type of person is that's in the gym and it's a really growth-minded person.

It is. And they're in there obviously because, you know, they're applying this discipline to themselves, but they're open to changing their body. They're open to not being good at something and trying to improve themselves constantly. And of course, that's going to translate into work, life, and sex life. Yeah, because then you're open and you're admitting that there's more I can learn. It's amazing how much and it never fails and I know these guys for sure have had this. I've had probably

thousands of people sit in front of me and tell me that they don't have the time. You know, super common and I can totally relate and understand that because I too know it's like to work seven days a week for a year straight and work 10 12 hour days and like trying to get kids and work 10, 12 hour days to try and tell. Or if kids too, it's like, right. So I can totally relate and know what that feels like to feel like I don't have enough time in my day already and now you want me to spend another hour in this gym.

Or what's amazing, and it never has failed. Every single time, one I've felt that way and every single time a client has felt that way. Once you get them in that routine or two, three times a week, they're given you one hour of exercise, it's amazing how much more time all of a sudden opens up. All of a sudden you get way more energy, your days become longer, you're faster and more productive, and then all of a sudden all of this time frees up. It's amazing how much when we stop working out,

we stop actually how centering we become. Especially in today's society with everything so convenient and accessible by our phone. You could waste an hour just looking at your phone. Oh, all the time, I'm like, all the time you're scrolling on Facebook, Instagram, you could have been walking. You could have been at the time. There's a saying in marketing where you wanna trade,

you wanna trade dimes for quarter. So like in marketing, you wanna invest $100 and you wanna get back $150 and then you just, that same is true with exercise. Of course, if you, there's definitely a limit, like if you do too much, but if you do the right amount, Adam's 100% correct, you'll invest, you know, three hours a week, you'll actually get back four, five, or six hours back in productivity because you're more fit,

healthy, and energy just all this already. This article just says everybody's a smart investor. That's what they all have. Exactly. No, you they all have. Exactly. No, you're so right. It says, and also if we look more closely at the mental effects of fitness have, we can even see that those who exercise regularly were also more likely to rate their own happiness level, a 10 out of 10, as of those who don't exercise.

You know, I used to also love training kids. So sometimes a client, and this is all connected. I'd have clients that I trained for a while, and then they'd bring me there 13 or 14-year-old kid, and they'd say, hey, Sal, can you help them work out or whatever. And I used to love doing this. Many times the parents would bring me their kids

because they were struggling in school, and they thought, okay, I want them to maybe develop a good habit or something, right? So these kids would come in, I'd work out with them, and let's say today was their first workout, we did 10 push-ups. And then next week they'd come in, and they'd do 12 push-ups, and I'd work out with them, and let's say today was their first workout, we did 10 push-ups. And then next week they'd come in, and they do 12 push-ups, and I'd point it out to them,

and say, look, last week you did 10, this week you do 12, your body is fundamentally different than it was last week. You have changed something, fundamentally in your body, and it's a very black and white, I put in some work, and I get this return. It's very black and white, it's like a microcosm of life, like I can sacrifice a little bit, and I can get I get this return. It's very black and white. It's like a microcosm of life. Like I can sacrifice a little bit and I can get this kind of return.

And I think exercise, when you do it right, does that very, very well. It starts to train that behavior and you can see like, oh, if I work hard and if I'm smart and I do the right things, my body starts to respond. What else works that way? Well, it turns out everything.

Everything works out. Everything works out. Right, what you give, what you get. It's so true. I wish there was more programs like that for kids like schools really emphasize. Nobody do now more, but health and nutrition. Like they're still so serious. Not all of it. It's a climb.

Also, it has people who work out often also seem to enjoy more action in the bedroom. They found that 34% of those who get regular exercise indicated they have sex several times a week, just 15% of the non-fitness group could boast the same. One of four people who never exercise say they never have sex compared to only one in 20 exercise. I know this I've always worked out to five times. So I hope this is inspiring people to go out and have great sex this summer. And oh wait I'm so good. I love the way you guys are talking about it because I just think it's you break it down. It's like people can really get it. It all works together.

It does. The separating all these systems and the body and stuff like that is for marketing purposes, I think it's funny who way we take all these little subcategories and try and focus just, oh, do this for that and it's gonna make it better. It's like, well, there's so many systems of the body and so many of them are so important.

It's like a car, it's like putting a spoiler on a Honda Civic without building the engine version. I think it's just backwards thinking. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's because of the way we market to people as we find the little things that you might be insecure about, sell you the magical fix and market to people. And in reality, it's unfortunately, it's not that simple.

There's no quick fix. You want to do it all, you realize that you want to eat healthy and exercise and all work together and meditate. But in reality, it's unfortunately, it's not that simple. There's no quick fix. Right. You want to do it all. You realize that you want to eat healthy and exercise it, and it'll all work together and meditate. All you have to do is be a little bit better today than you were yesterday. That's it. And that trajectory actually becomes a massive difference in a month, two months, three months,

six months down the road. You just have to be a little bit better than you were yesterday. And so what does that mean? Well that means sometimes you got to aim low. And what I mean by aim low is not necessarily don't be motivated and stuff like that. But when you're getting started into a health journey, you want to become more fit. You don't need to do crazy workouts right out the gates. Like we were saying before.

You can do yourself as well. Do something. Just do a little bit. Like I wasn't walking before. Now I'm going to start walking. Do that for a little while. Now I'm doing that for okay. I've been doing that for a month. Now I'm going to add a little bit like you I wasn't walking before now. I'm gonna start walking do that for a little while Now I'm doing that for okay. I've been doing that for a month now. I'm gonna add a little bit more Exactly if you do it in that fashion and just compare yourself to yourself yesterday You'll be successful you start comparing yourself to other people

That's a Yeah, that is a losing game. I totally agree and it's funny You're bringing me back to when I started exercising because it was I was late bloomomer with it in the sense of I was never athletic in high school. I kind of think I was sad on the couch. I was more, I was bad, my parents were getting divorced. I wasn't at like, I was smoke cigarettes. So I was just, then I went to college, freshman year. And I was motivated by the freshman 15.

And, which, whatever, I was like 18, but I was like, oh, I'm just gonna start, I would join a gym for like three months. And then I remember just doing it and just feeling so much, so much better about it. And I was like, I'm gonna run a marathon, I joined a gym for like three months, and then I remember just doing it and just feeling so much, so much better about it. And I was like, I'm going to run a marathon, because I threw my D it at the time,

and I just started out running like five minutes a day, and then 10 minutes a day, and then 15 minutes a day. And I never had to worry about, obviously, the weight, any of that stuff. It was more like, I got so the serotonin rush, the high of building on that fight. Now it seems so silly, but I'd forgotten about that. That's really how I started it.

It felt great at a good 10, 15, 20 20 and just, I mean, it just makes sense. I don't have time. How often you exercise now, you look, I mean, obviously very fit. Yeah, I actually, like, I, you know, ideally I would love to every day, but I would say four, four, five days a week. I deal. I deal. That's just it. I'm sure your listeners know what you look like.

I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, you look phenomenal. I think people get, you know, the wrong idea. They think you need to be like in the gym all the time. Oh, yeah. No, and like, like sometimes it's three times. And if I can't, I go for a walk. I mean, I go at night, I'll just, I'll just walk. I need to move my body. Because if I don't, a few days go by and I don't, I'm just like, just, and then you go and you come in, you're like so clear. And so yeah, I, but it's always been an important part of my life. One other thing that I want to make a comment on, because this is a, a sex show. One of the, One of the hottest things you could ever do

is work out with your partner. I think so too. I was gonna ask you about that. Let's talk about couples who work out together. Oh, nothing sexier to me than seeing a woman in a gym exercise with a good form. Oh, my god. That's a mess.

That's it. But you work out with your partner, you're sweating, you're vulnerable, you know, maybe not wearing makeup, whatever, but you're working hard, you're getting a pump, the pheromones, the foils, and lighting. Oh man, and then afterwards you got that rush. I tell you what, me and my girlfriend have sex

more often after I'll work out than anything else. Yeah, I've seen studies on that as well. I think that's a great incentive. So couples are like, oh, my partner won't let me. You guys join it together, join them together. Like you can, or take a class together. I think the couples, if they have to separate out. It wouldn't be sexy, but you're absolutely right I have I haven't had a guy that I worked out within a while

But when I did I said a guy was training with we did marathon and it was amazing Oh, yeah, we go running through Marin like we'd run every weekend We'd run the the Dipsy ice to the Dipsy race. Okay. Do you guys know the Dipsy race in Mount Mill Valley? Anyway, we do run it was just so hot. I remember like always having sex off the side of the road One of the one of the mistakes that people make too is that they think that, and this is again, back to the fitness industry, the bullshit they put out there, is they think that many women should train so differently. Yeah, I would say- It is not the case. No, no. That's why it works just fine for a spouse and

and why for a husband can work out together because a woman should be training just like a man. That's how it goes. That's how it goes. And that's so hard for people to hear, like, oh, I don't want to look like, well, you won't look like that. You will. That's so interesting. In fact, I think I prefer working out with women because two things, and this is general,

this is a little bit of a stereotype, but typically, that's not why I'll, typically the women tend to be afraid to go heavier with weights and men tend to go too heavy with weights. Yes. And when I work out with a female, we balance each other out just nicely. I push the weight a little bit.

She calls me out when I go a little too heavy. If I work out with another guy, sometimes it gets competitive. I can see that. You push the weight a little bit too much. Forum goes out the window. But it's not like that when I work out with everything. That's why I love this. I think it's a great date thing to do.

Go to the gym. Oh my gosh. take a class, take a class pass. You guys have class pass and stuff. No, I've heard about it, but I have this thing. Like I said, for once a month, you pay monthly, you go to any class in the city. Oh, that's brilliant. Yeah, I'll show you the app. It's cool.

Oh, such helpful advice. Now, do you guys want to help me? I would love if you would help me give some advice to listeners, then emails. Let's do it. Perfect. Okay. Let's see, did that, we're gonna do some of your work right now? You are give some advice to listeners. Absolutely. And emails. Let's do it. Perfect. And help them.

Okay. Let's see how you did that. We're going to do some of your work right now. You are going to support work, dammit. And then I want to do a workout. Adam, Justin and Sal from MindPump, MindPump Media, check out their podcasts. Only if you want to be healthier and have a better life. You should.

Otherwise, no pressure. I love answering your questions. It's why I do what I do. If you have a question, you want answered on the show. You can text Ask Emily all one word, two, seven, nine, seven, nine, seven, nine, or go to the website, fill out the form, and always include your name, your age,

where you live, and how you listen to the show. Okay, this is about bringing vibrators into the bedroom. You guys have experienced with toys. Yes, that's awesome. This is from Lauren, 20 in New Jersey. Hi, Emily, I know that women are constantly asking you how they can orgasm with their partner, but it's truly a problem for me. I can only orgasm by myself and with my vibrator. I've been dating guy for about 10 months and I'm trying

to really hard to integrate the vibrator into the bedroom. We're also part time long distance because I'm in college six hours away. He told me that the vibrator physically makes him feel uncomfortable when you're having sex and it's pressing and it is pressing against my clitoris. I would love to be able to experience an orgasm with him and any advice would be great. Thank you so much. I love what you're doing with this podcast.

Reverse Cowboy with vibrator on. Oh my God, that's so good. I was gonna say doggy style. That's what I was gonna say. Reverse Cowgirl meaning like he's laying back on his back and then you turn it around. So good, I was gonna say doggy style. That's what I was gonna say. You're right though, reverse cow girl meaning, like he's laying back on his back and then you turn it around, it's like, we'll run it on top.

So she can use it, he doesn't have to see, he doesn't have to see. I'm gonna work now, I don't need to job if you guys done, but you're right, that would be a great one. Really? Is he playing about that? I know, but you're like really well-rights.

Well, I could, you know, in some manner, he's also young, I'm assuming he's young because she's 20. So, so I mean, this could be also his first experience with a toy being brought in the bedroom. And I can see how that could be intimidating. So I think it's a great position because one, I think it's a great position. It's just hot. Yeah. Periods are great. You can't really see what she's doing on the other side of that. So you give

us to watch her amazing backside or grab her butt while she's riding back. Right, grab her butt. You can never do that enough, I think. That's a great call. Or yeah, I was thinking doggie style, but also just holding away that's more comfortable for him too. And I think also you could try to use it to orgasm before you start. So I think I always think she comes first because men are more, you know, not like only,

not only she comes, but make sure that you get your orgasm, that you figure that out, he helps you with that, and then maybe you could also have sex without it, try that out. I think that a lot of women and men we get set in certain ways around sex, so it's like, okay, I can only have orgasm this particular way. I can never, since I've never had an internal orgasm, I never will, and it takes practice,

just like training, there has to be sex training. Yeah, we get your mind mind and you link it up. So I thought that too until I started this show and I started doing my homework before my brief period of no masturbation, I really was like, okay, I want to do all the things I'm telling people and figure out my body and I never had orgasm internally. I'd never had one without a vibrator for so long

and I was like, I retrained my body and I was like, I figured it out. And then when I was with the partner, I was like, this is how I need to move and I showed them and it doesn't, it's not a quick fix, it's not going to happen once, but just to keep going and working on yourself. I think Lauren, you're 20 years old, you're starting out right now with a boyfriend having sex, maybe it's only been a few years, so just know that there's other ways you can also like orgasm and figure out your body, but also try without

the vibrators to see if you can. I was talking to a woman last night at a dinner party. This happens to me. Probably happens to you guys too. I would think sex and hell people like wait a minute. I would go over you and read a movie. What do you think about diet? She's like, I can only have it.

I used to be able to without a vibrator. I just think it's like everything else. You don't like your body becomes, you can't no longer have it with your fingers. Try it. Just start out without a vibrator and see where it goes because you could just find all these other delicious things. Well, it's a little more discreet for him too, that way. Exactly.

But I'm not saying it's a more... Right. There's quieter vibrators as well. There's a lot of different things you could try, but I love the idea of Doggy's Style and Reverse. Cowgirl and... Yeah. Thank you. And wait, oh, question.

Which pin your experience with vibrators in the bedroom? Oh, guys started great. Right out the gates. First on himself. Yeah, oh, no, I've seen all of them. Hey, vibrators work on guys too, and I don't mean in trouble. They do, well, her boyfriend's not into it yet,

but he might be one day. No, it's not, Joe, you can. You just get to reveal a lot to us. Yeah, absolutely. No, if you get a strong enough vibrator, you can put it on your penis, and it just get a reveal a lot to us. Yeah, absolutely. If you get a strong enough vibrator, you can put it on your penis, and it can actually work for a man as well. It has to be very sensitive in order to do that.

Yeah, usually it's the lower settings for a man, but also I was gonna say to her, thank you for saying this, Lauren, maybe on a shaft or his balls tickling it, let a lighter setting on the vibrator, and I like that, women want, but then, he might like that as well. That's how I figured it out.

Right, it feels good. Actually went to the sprint. Not just for the 16, maybe 16 or 17, bought one to use with my girlfriend, use it on myself and I place it on my penis and it worked. Yeah, see? So there you go. There you go.

Learn something. I just say, yeah. You guys didn't know this yet? What's that? Didn't we bring that up? We didn't know that about Sal. Yeah, that's not new information. You guys are awesome. Okay. I think he's being coy too. I think there's more that he does. Yeah, that's not new information. You guys are awesome.

Okay. I think he's being coy too. I think there's more that he does. Yeah, I think there's a lot. So there are prostate toys. There's prostate. Prostate is important. We have some toys for you if you want.

We can check out the sex trick closet. Okay. Here's another question from Vincent 34 in Georgia. Hey Emily, I have an uncircumcised penis and women tend to look at it funny when I pull it out. One girl even asked, why does it look like that? At times it made me insecure because I told one girl at work and she told her friends and they find it mysterious and not sexy. So my question is do I need to get a cut or is it okay like this? I pull back the skin wash daily plus I use coconut oil to keep the poor skin from drying out.

So I just want to say Vincent, there's nothing wrong with you in having a circumcised penis. In fact, 77% of males in the US are circumcised, but only 30 to 37% of men globally are circumcised. And like in the US, it's not as common and the women you are sleeping with might not be as used to it, but like you just have to show them how you like it touched, you know, with confidence. I understand that you can just take one or two women criticizing

your sexual performance or your penis and you might be done for life. And so I don't want this to happen to you at all. Vincent, so the thing about it though, you do have more nerve endings when there's a foreskin. So I need you to take care of it. You're going to be fine with it. So I think just women are cool. Like I feel like it's much different than a guy with a smaller penis or one that hangs

the left? It's the same kind of insecurity. It's the same kind of challenges that men have around their penis. You gotta address the elephant in the room. Exactly. And Justin has a really weird penis, so he's been dealing with that for a while. Curves really far. Yeah.

It's hard to be. Right, like no, we're right, but that's kind of cool. I think it could have some good access. Yeah. I think hervee penis, I think there's a- Different angles. But I can understand that it's just really we're talking about self-confidence and body image hair, which I think a lot of men

are challenged around this, but I think no. I think that it's where he's in Georgia. The women, maybe they haven't seen a lot of who knows, but keep going. Don't get pleased, Vincent. Do not get it cut. If you go down this road and you forget what I said, email me again, get in touch with the show.

You are fine. Learn to rock it. Learn to masturbate. Figure out all those nerve endings, and then you show women if they ever look at it sideways or in a weird way, just be like, let me show you what I can do. I wish I wasn't circumcised, honestly,

because I've read about my... I was all over now. All the nerve endings and stuff, probably better. Yes. I would say that for, I mean, it's hard to know, like if you had a guy who had an uncircuit, he'd be like, my orgasms are stronger. Yeah, you're like, my, my orgasms are stronger.

Yeah, you're like, really? How would you measure stronger? Is my orgasms stronger than, like, my producer, Jamie's, we don't know. We haven't tried that yet in the same room. We probably won't ever, but what I'm saying is, how do you compare orgasms to orgasms you can't? So you're fine, Vincent. I'm glad you addressed it.

Now we'll nip it in the bud. Keep going with your penis. So thanks, guys. This was fun. Yeah, I think I also really enjoyed this. I think that it's very inspiring for my listeners. Oh, guys. This was fun. Okay, anything else I really enjoyed this. I think that it's very inspiring for my listeners. Oh, no, thank you for having us on. Definitely.

That was a nice change of pace. I know, to say we can answer a sex question. Yeah, it's like, yeah. This is a lot more fun. We're gonna have, yeah. It is fun. I want you guys to come back in and I love that we're gonna do another episode of your podcast.

Everyone check out Mind Pump Media and their podcast. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you. Oh, I would like to say this for your audience if they want to get started on some good information and they don't want to have to purchase anything just to kind of, you know, we have a YouTube channel lots of free information on there. We also have a free 30-day workout on there. So they don't have to pay anything. I love it. It's MindPump TV. They can go on there and then just watch some of our videos and try things out and then later on if they want to get one of our programs. Oh, that's awesome. Okay, I'm to do that. I don't know that. Okay, check that out. You guys on their Instagram. It's MindPump Media and all their other Instagrams.

You can check out there. Twitter, it's MindPump and MindPump Media.com. And the rest of them. You got it. You're cool. Thank you everyone for listening. I love you all. Thanks to my amazing team.

Can volunteer Sarah, producer Jamie and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamlade.com. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that.

I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that. I amazing team, Ken volunteer Sarah, producer Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithaml.com.