Sex With Emily - Porn & Pleasure w/ Jacky St James & Ana Foxxx

Episode Date: June 30, 2021

Ever wonder what happens behind the scenes of your favorite porn? Today I’m joined by adult film director Jacky St. James and performer Ana Foxxx. We discuss their hottest scenes, what it’s like being on set, what constitutes ‘ethical porn’ and whether porn actors fake their orgasms.Plus, Jacky walks me through her approach to creating an adult film and how porn has evolved over time. Ana shares what it’s like dating as a porn star, details from her dirty 30 birthday party, and how porn has shaped her sex life on and off-screen. We also answer your questions like: is porn scripted or spontaneous and is it normal to get jealous when your partner watches porn? Find Jacky St. James here:jackystjames.comInstagramTwitterFind Ana Foxxx here:OnlyFansInstagramTwitter Show Notes:Bellesa Erika LustFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm curious, and what have you learned about your own pleasure, your own pleasure doing porn the last decade? I found a lot more places that I didn't know I liked to be touched. I thought sex was just straightforward and missionary and maybe doggy, so I've learned a lot more positions. I do anal, Guys and girls, I'm a lot more fluid than I thought it was before. Okay. Which is pretty awesome. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mark our secret

institutions. Betrubize. They call them in a fight on day. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Alright, you ever wonder what happens behind the scenes of your favorite porn? Well, today I'm joined by adult film director Jackie St. James and performer Anna Fox. We discussed their hottest scenes when it's actually like being on a porn set. One actually constitutes ethical porn and whether porn actors fake their orgasms. Plus Jackie walks me through her approach to creating an adult film and how the porn industry has changed over time.

Anna talks about what it's like dating as a porn star, details from her dirty, dirty birthday party. That's a scene she'll never forget. And how porn has shaped her sex life on an off-screen. We also get into your questions like, is porn scripted or spontaneous and is it normal to get jealous when your partner watches porn. So I just want to make clear two things that we talk about in this episode. Ethical porn.

Ethical porn is porn that respects the rights of performers, has good working conditions, shows both fantasy and real world sex, and celebrates sexual diversity. And they often say it's porn for women, by women, but I don't want to limit it to that because I know all genders, I know penises who love ethical porn because it's just more realistic. You know, you're gonna see things in there that actually feel like real sex. But the closest thing we can get to authentic. Now, I also wanted to find tube sites. So tube sites, if you've seen porn, that's probably what you've seen is one of the tube sites. That's just the basic free porn sites where anyone can upload clips. So as he birthed throwing up videos, they took from other sites and this is porn that's made by men for men

and it's with the male gaze in mind. What men find sexier, what penis is, fine sexies. So I just wanted to find that for you as we move into the episode. All right, intentions with Emily. For each episode, join me you as we move into the episode. All right, intentions with Emily. For each episode, join me in setting an intention for the episode. It really helps. Like, what do you want to get out of listening to this episode? My intention is to give you an inside look at what goes on behind the scenes of your favorite porn sets, because I know you want to know.

Explain what constitutes authentic sex and porn, so you can find some realistic visuals that work for you. Oh, also, I realize that we mentioned Bolesa a lot in this episode because Jackie and Anna do some work with Bolesa. If you want to check out more, it's bplus.co slash sex with Emily. We have great articles on our site. The latest is 12 tips to revive a stale sex life. I promise you we'll find something in there that speaks to you.

And if you want to ask me a question on the show, just call my hotline. It's 559 TalkSex or 559-825-5739 and just leave me your questions or message me. Sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily. As always include your name, your gender identity location, your age and how you listen to this show. Alright everyone, enjoy this episode. Jucky St. James is an award winning writer, director, and producer of Ethical Arotic Content. She's a huge proponent in positive sexuality, her work aims to explore, embrace,

and normalize the very, very path of female desires. Anna Fox, Triple X, is an American porn star, and she is performing over 200 movies. Anna Fox has several recognized performance you can see her at, Balesa. I'm excited because you came highly recommended as a fabulous duo that worked very well together because I thought how great to have a director on

and a porn star to kind of talk about what it's like working together, the state of porn today. And so maybe you could just start with everyone always wants to know and I want to know how did you both get into the industry? Anna. I had a boyfriend and we would home very often and very terribly often.

So I really wanted him to be better and it just so happened. My cousin was a club motor and they were promoting porn parties. One weekend that I went, I just didn't even know porn people still existed. I thought that they were just in hustlers on the back of my dad's toilet. So I was like, oh, they exist and they're here. And in front of me, they gave me a card to join porn.

And I was like, I'm gonna give it to my boyfriend because he needs to learn how to like, give me those like storybook orgasm and he didn't join porn. So yeah, I decided to take the bear instead. And then so you that's how you got into acting and porn? Yeah, I really wanted to learn how to have better orgasms. So when it came across, I was like, oh, nobody's ever going to want to watch me do porn, but at least I'll learn how to give like a BJ, you know. Right.

Jackie St. James, I've heard of you for years, you're legend in this industry. Tell me how you got into this, Jackie. Thank you. I worked in corporate America and basically watched a lot of porn. I watched porn from the time I was 18 when you had to go back behind the curtain at the video store. But when it got on two sides, my guy friends was sending links, and we'd always laugh,

like, oh, that's a crazy scene or whatever. And one of my guy friends sent me a link to a clip that was for a studio that was doing romance porn. And it was scripted, and the people were attractive. The guys were attractive. And I was like, what is this studio? So when I googled it, I found out a little bit about them and they were doing a screenwriting contest for their studio.

And I entered the contest in one and then went and I went to win AVN for best screenplay that year. It was like a whirlwind. That's amazing. You entered the contest. You won. And now you've been doing it for 10 years. And Anna, how has it impacted your sex life,

your sexuality being, we're acting in porn? I definitely am very thankful for porn because my sex life definitely would have sucked a lot, like in bad ways. I feel like I have magic powers now that I've been in porn and like experience so many different people and different situations. Like it made me step outside of what I thought was hot. You know, now I've been more scenarios

in situations that I never would have tried before. So I feel like a very well-rounded oralist. I don't want to be a oralist. Yeah. Well I'm curious, and what have you learned about your own pleasure, your own pleasure doing porn the last decade? I found a lot more places that I didn't know I liked to be touched. I thought sex was just straightforward and missionary and maybe doggy, so I've learned a lot more positions. I do anal guys and girls.

I'm a lot more fluid than I thought I was before, which is pretty awesome. Well, what we want to talk about to do, one of the things is porn that's made for women by women or just ethical porn. There's so much challenge in the industry because people like porn, but in heterosexual relationships, they're like, my partner watches, like if it's a woman, she's like, but I don't feel great about what I'm seeing. And I'm like, well, you should check out porn that's more, you know, I've talked about

like, Erica Lust or Bolesa. And now I'm happy to see that there are more Places right now doing it, but Jackie I know you've been doing this a long time and we grew up in the same way that we didn't have porn to watch really And so I feel like when I was learning to have sex I was just sort of feeling my way through it And then I wonder when you're working with younger women now in their 20s even in their 30s Like are they kind of like mimic it? Oh the mounds and like throwing their like thing, things you're like, does that actually feel good to you? So in a way, you're sort of part sex therapist, part director.

What's been your experience? Oh, yeah. I mean, I find that anyone in younger generations, I mean, the gen actors, I think, get it because they had to feel their way through sex. Yeah. But dealing with younger women, especially that are taught that gagging and dry heaving on a penis is how you give a blowjob or making a sound even before a hand has touched them. It's really about reeducating and trying to untie because when you grow

a horn and a bad horn, that's kind of what people think is how you have sex. And for me, I mean, just looking at the women, you know when a woman is having sincere pleasure and when they're faking it. And like a lot of times the younger performers, they're clearly faking it. And I just wonder if they've ever even experienced an orgasm.

So have they, I mean, so if you found that maybe they haven't, like do you have to be like, okay, cut, we need to go back in this, we gotta talk. A lot of times I do, but sometimes you can't fully untie somebody what is so fundamentally part of their sexual, I guess, experience. And so, if they grew up only watching hardcore porn, it's very hard for them to understand that like, open, it doesn't have to be what you saw. I mean, maybe you do enjoy giving a slump of blowjob in that spine, but that doesn't

mean that that's what every man wants. And so it's sort of trying to open women up and really getting to them to understand that an orgasm isn't just this flailing thing. And I was noticed when the guy is doing something and she she's like, oh yeah, I'm about to come. And then he completely switches up what he's doing, and she still manages to happen to work out. And I'm like, clearly you didn't come. Right, exactly.

You're changing up, dude. Do not move. When we say don't stop, we mean don't stop and don't change. We mean like, do not move. Do not do anything. Don't go faster. Don't go slower. Do the same thing, right?

Right, Anna? I agree. So tell me how long have you been doing this? And do you mind if I ask your age? I am 3032. Okay. And I believe I'm on my decade. I believe in all 10 years. Yeah.

Okay. Most porn people see these days, we talk about porn being so ubiquitous since we all got phones in our hand about the last decade. It's mostly the tube sites and it's made by men for men. I would say in the most part. And so when people think of porn, they think of this free porn that they go to, people that don't even look real.

And that's where there's so much like vulva shaming. And I'm always saying to them, like no, she's cheating towards camera. They tug labia's in, there's makeup on it. And the amazing thing that I saw, when I saw something that you directed, Jackie recently, and I was talking about this in the when I saw something that you directed, Jackie recently, and I was talking about this in the office today,

that she had like razor burn, like she, like it was so real, but still hot, but like she, you weren't trying to cover that up because that's fucking real life. You're like, God damn, I'm having sex and I shaved and I've got these bumps. So, is that mostly the kind of porn that you're doing these days, Jackie?

That's for me, there's this, there's a blessed plus series is what I meanly working under and everything is, is natural. A lot of times I'll just get to set and we'll talk about, you know, what they're in the mood to do and I let them have at it and it's not about opening up because in all honesty, and I mean, Anna can speak to this too. It's when they're opening up for camera, it's just not going

to feel the same way it would if they were just at home having sex with their partner. And we want to see the connection less than the penetration because the connection and the hotness between the two performers is so much hotter than just seeing a penis and if a giant go at it, it's just that's so uninteresting. Right. And it's been done so many times that why not provide something different. Right, exactly. And so I always think it's like it has contacts,

it has a plot. Do you actually know why they're having sex? Maybe there's some tension built up. So Jackie, that starts with you though. You're coming up with these stories. How do you come up with the content? I mean, for me, it always starts with the relationship. So I just pick like two characters.

And I'm like, what is their scenario? Is it, you know, do people always want to have sex or maybe they've had sex and now they've broken up and you want to get back together? I mean, there's so many, I mean, there's a limitless possibilities of what can be taught and sexy. So with the scripts and stuff,

I just pull from a relationship and I build a story around it. And it's so authentic because it's whatever the person is feeling in that moment. And nobody ever has the same way twice. Right. No, and porn, in traditional porn, they always do. But like, we don't.

We have sex whatever we're feeling in that moment. Right. Yeah. Okay. Anna, what about you? So you got to let say they're Anna. So tell me about some of the some of the hot scenes that you've done that you've worked on together.

By far, my favorite scene for Jackie was with Mr. Castle. Tell me how far. By far, time we are. I think everybody who, I think everybody knew that day that we were gonna like come crashing together like magnets. Like, I fucking loved Donnie and like, Jackie did everything she did to give me the person that I wanted. So for me, the story didn't even matter. I was just really happy.

Really happy to hump Johnny for Jackie. Okay, but the story was really good. That the story built a lot of tension. And like a lot of like flirting, which was really fun for me, like not right away attack Johnny like I wanted to so to like sit there and like do dialogue with him all day and like ran at him pretend like I didn't want to home him. It was so cute. Walk me through a day like you get to this. Like how do you get ready for a day in the set? Like do to do it all. I do all the things. I'm such a moisturizing like goddess. I have like a tower of moisture. So Johnny got a special bath bomb for the morning time and I sat there and I thought about his cuteness. And then when I finally got to set, I just was like really excited waiting for him, you know,

and then like, it's fun like giggling around the corner with Jackie and be like, oh my god, he's coming. He's so hot. I love it. It's just like gets that way. That's good. Yeah, it's like such a girly like exciting day. So, you know, my cheeks hurt. And then like when he finally arrives, everybody's just like shocked at how handsome he is. So it makes me feel better. I'm like, yes, I'm doing good. I'm getting good dick from my hands and goddess. So it's just like a fairy tale day. Everything went so smooth. I love the crew. I love Johnny. I love Jackie. Everything was perfect. What was the hats? Can you walk me through a scene like the hottest scene with him? Like, I've had so much sex with Johnny and I've never seen such a giant puddle of sweat on the floor after. Like, it looked like someone took a giant bucket

and just dumped it on the floor. And I was like, wow, we were really fucking. And it wasn't until I saw the scene after that I realized how hot it was because I was like, and I was in La La Liana, I was not paying attention. But I saw the scene and it was so hot like the angles. There was this like, angle, I'm like,

you made them a blowjob and he's like finger-binging me and the perspective was really cool. And I was like, oh my God, the crew knew they were doing. Well, I have a question. When you say you were so in the moment and you were a La La Land, so do you actually lose yourself? Oh yeah, especially like when it's a good day

when I really want to work with the talent, like the only time I feel like I'm on camera is when we're doing dialogue. You know, once like we kiss and there's no cut I'm like completely forgot that they are there until we're done and I'm like, oh, yeah, oh yeah That's to me the ideal Exactly like it's the best day. Yeah, that is it so most porn we're watching it really is scripted like okay, you know time to move from doggy to Choking on his penis. Okay, but but with this one it's not happening you're

saying it's more like you just chemistry and where it goes like real sex you know I don't plan it out I don't text my partner and I'm not like I'm gonna give you a blowjob at 802 and then at 816 you're gonna go down a meter 915 although sometimes I do say that but right so you've really just go into the moment of what is what's going on. Yeah, like it's time that it's ever, I mean, I don't wanna say scripted, is like if what we were talking about,

if it was somebody that's younger, that's like immediately like, you know, gagging on the penis, and just really going extreme and screaming, you know, some sensitivities or whatever. I don't really like to interfere because I want them to have organic sex and like Anna was saying where she doesn't even know

where their tent's over. And that's why it's critical for us. Like I don't like to cut unless it's like an absolute emergency. Because the second that we start putting our crew stuff on their sex scene, it feels produced. So we try and just do nothing. Like we communicate through headsets.

Like I do with the crew and be like, oh, get this angle, look at this. We try to not have the talent here us communicating because we want them to have fun and enjoy. Okay, so tell me about that Anna, how do you, so you're in the moment, you're with someone, you're attracted to them this guy. Are most of them, would you say you are?

I mean, we just talked about wouldn't be your best experiences, but how do you turn it on for someone if you maybe aren't that into them? For the most part, I go to work to have a good time. So whenever I'm given a person, if I have a connection with them or not, I just wanna try them out and make them react to me. So I just kinda feel like they're gonna be excited to work with me. So I just kind of feel like they're going to be excited to work with me. So I like moisturize myself and like I got all the nice sense and stuff.

And if they're not excited just from like sniffing me, then you know, I don't know. But you know, I try to make a little like fun on beyond. So that way like there's an attraction no matter what's going on. Like if they can't, if I don't know, like if I'm smothering their face, they can smell me. I smell good. If they're looking at my butt, it let's not. So, you know, there's lots of things to play with and explore and it usually goes well.

I know there's been a lot of talk about how this is real. There's real orgasms on the set. Oh yeah. Always majority time. I try to have orgasms as much as I can, but sometimes I don't like get there. And I'm not necessarily sad if I don't like have an orgasm, but I'm kind of like, you know, like we only have so much time in the scene.

So it's a lot easier on sets like Jackie's versus somewhere else. I got it. But for Jackie, you just chuck your head. You said they don't always have orgasms, but do they then do they fake them? Or there's just no orgasm in the scene. I mean, so again, it comes back to this, you know, and even in like interviews with performers, you'll see a lot of them be like, Oh, yeah, I come all the time. That's a lie. And they're staying in who appease their fans. Right. The family wants to believe that these girls, their breasts can be touched and they're having an orgasm. But that's just not realistic. Right.

So for me, I always tell them, don't fake it, no fake orgasms. But at the end of the day, I can't control if they choose to fake it. And there's other reasons why people might want to fake it. Like maybe they're trying to encourage the male talent because you're struggling. And there's a lot of things that are at play. But no, I mean, a lot of times I tell the performers, I just say, if you aren't going to come, it doesn't matter. It can still be hot without an orgasm.

And you can still really enjoy sex. So I haven't really seen, to my knowledge, fake orgasms from Pholesa. That doesn't mean it hasn't happened, but I don't. Because you can tell. Oh, yeah. They're good orgasms. They're good orgasms. Oh, sure.

It comes like six times in a scene. We know that they can. Right, right, because that's not going to happen there. So now there's all these trends and points I'm wondering, like, milf porn and cuckolding or wife swapping or hot wife. How do you decide, like, is there any new porn that you want to do that you haven't revealed to you? Or do you feel like, well, I still got to do what people like?

For me, it's the reality stuff. We're doing this series called Blind Date. It hasn't released yet, but we set up two people and they have no idea who they're working with. We make sure that they're not on their no list. But again, it's getting back to the authenticity because having worked for 10 years, I mean, like, really nothing feels new to me

except for real sex. And that's so sad to say. But I've done Fossess to the Milf and, you know, I mean, just all the genres because porn is about the genres. And so for me, I love doing the reality, I'm a surey stuff. It just feels good because you can tell the people are enjoying it and it's not a performance. What about you, Anna? What do you like doing these days? Oh, I have to 100% agree with Jackie.

Anytime I'm given a script where I'm a mill for someone stepmom or something weird, I don't relate and I just feel kind of ridiculous. I'm 100% about the authentic porn right now. I love just going to work and coming because I I feel like it, you know, having a good day is always best. So anytime I can do authentic part of down. So let's talk about what is authentic porn. Let's define it. Real sex, you know, where I don't feel like I have to compete with other girls that might be in the scene or other people on the site where I'm literally hired just to be me. Like, you know, I'm not a stepmom or an Ebony or the teen or whatever.

I'm just a human girl, fucking another human. Okay. Would you say that ethical and authentic porn are the same? Because a lot of people don't know what ethical porn is. I kind of want to rebrand it because ethical makes you think like porn and ethics sometimes through some people doesn't go into the same sentence. But would you say that's kind of like authentic porn as we're talking?

There's more connection. There will always be a connection. There's no fake word essence. I mean, again, this is the same thing where it's like, we're not forcing people to behave a certain way. We're asking them to behave how they feel in the moment, which is seldom asked in any other studio. Feel what you're feeling.

No, it's a performance for the audience and the audiences in joining will come from seeing their enjoyment. Yeah. And I talked about this with Johnny Castle. I always will ask people who they want to work with, and that is not done very often on porn either. So you're just stuck with who you're working with. Whereas I'm actually seeking out somebody that they genuinely have an okay interest in or a very big interest. I mean sometimes scheduling just workout.

But yeah. What do you think Anna? If you just had say what comes to your mind? It's less of a performance. It's like one of the first times I feel like I'm having like real sex and not having to like, you know, beatbox on a dick or whatever. Like, you know, I just like selfishly enjoying myself without thinking about the audience. Right. So from a performance standpoint, it feels very real, really authentic.

And I love that. Man, I know when I first saw the pictures of Lesha and like just the pictures of the girl's faces I was like oh I want to I want to do that. I want to do that. So do you guys, but it's scripted but really the only part scripted is the actual scripted part but the sex is not like how much about regular porn would you say that like the tube sites porn is all scripted right? Yeah it's definitely the other sites are scripted. We take pictures of how we're gonna have the sex, we map out how we're gonna have the sex,

we know how long it's gonna be, we know when we're gonna change, they'll even call it out like football plays, you know? They do. Yeah, yeah. So I'm sitting there like getting fucked and like, you know, the clock's ticking like I've got two minutes to enjoy this, so because we're gonna flip into and then the next thing is for five minutes. We're gonna flip, flip, flip.

It's so scripted. Yeah. So scripted. You guys are taking so time. I think I, yeah, I mean, I heard you say in an interview, Jackie, that it's like 16 hour days. Yeah, if we're doing features, yeah. For the reality stuff, no, because it's not, you know, the reality stuff isn't scripted. So it's your in and out. But I mean, our group. Literally and figuratively. How do you know when a scene is over then? Well, I do tell them because we try and keep the scenes to about 30 minutes, but you

can also, I think the performers naturally feel an end. It's a we feel it too. So we'll be like, all right, whenever you guys want to wrap it up. But on the amateur stuff, I tell them you end when you feel like it. So it's completely on them to decide when it ends. That's great. I feel that. I feel that. Anna, you're so happy. It's so smiley. Yeah. Anna, is there any, I know you probably get asked this a lot. What is your like, the scene that you did that you're like, I have arrived or this was the craziest scene that was really a turn on and erotic and amazing. If you had to just break it down, what was going on?

Probably my 30th birthday, I had a dirty 30 orgy and it was by far like the craziest, like both nothing I ever did. I'm on a film. Yeah. Where is it, can we find it? I wanna do it. It's on a birthday party.

It's online. It's on my only fans and it's on, um, analyzed. OK. But I got to pick. I wanted to have as many people as I could get without going, like, crazy, like, I didn't want, like, 50. But not 50. So what's the limit?

10? I think I had 13, which is a pretty cool number. And I picked six of them. so I specifically knew who six were and I didn't know who the rest were. And I wanted to be ready for them to just attack me and then after they all fucked me, like they could fuck each other. And so I dressed up like Kwella Deville.

I'm amazing. Because my birthday's by Halloween. And I came out and they were all butt naked and they all just like attacked me. And it was really cool like being like a cookie for ants and not knowing whose hand was touching me where and like who's what was what. And I could just like see through like crevices of fingers like people's reaction and they were like whoa.

And like because there's like at the point that Venus is starting entering you they're like oh my god. It's like a Mayweather fight. doesn't start entering they're like, oh my god. It's like a Mayweather fight. So it's pretty interesting and really fun. That is a lot. I mean, that would be a lot to drive you directed a scene like that. I've never directed a scene with that many people. No.

Well, I guess kind of that one kind of coax directed it. Since it was my vision. Yeah. Jackie, what about you? Is there like a career you've been doing this a while? Like, highlight? We were like, ah, this is what I love. Is there what was going on in the scene?

You know, this is a strange thing. And this isn't like a career-defining moment. It was just a moment where I was like, oh, we're doing something different. It was a lesbian scene. And it's not like this most epic memorable scene, but what I remember and I remember, because it's a lot of times, I mean, I've seen so many people have sex that it's like sometimes it just keeps on same old,

same old. But with this, it was two female performers and for 13 minutes, they didn't even take off their shirts. And I remember the male camera guy at the time who doesn't work for me anymore, was like, tell her to get her chicks out.. No, like this is exactly what it is. It's just letting two people explore. And it was so fast named because I didn't even realize how long it had been until the camera guys started yelling at me to tell them to get their shirts off. But I realized they've been doing this for 13 minutes, but yet I was totally captivated.

I wasn't looking at the time. Right. And they were just making out and like grinding on each other. And I thought, this is different than anything that's being done right now. This fucking cool. Yeah. That's real. That's what we're talking about. That's ethical and that's authentic. We're going to take a quick break when we come back. I ask Jackie and Anna are Don't go away. So what, tell me if you said, say, like, what is the best part of your jobs? What's the worst part of your jobs? Best, what do you love about it?

The putting people together part, the good surprise is important, is always really fun. It's a good surprise. When we and Jackie just worked together, we put a lotus with David. Yeah, with David Lee, and they were so cute. We were like, we had our own non-sex scene going on. Right. We were excited, and they were excited. And the genuine attraction and the adorable bitness of two people getting together was like, oh, this is why we do this. What about you, Jackie?

Yeah, I mean, I think it's just really connecting with the performers and seeing them happy and walk away feeling good. And that's my favorite one. Okay, what's the least favorite part? Hey, Ro. Hey, Ro. Hey, Ro. Hey, favorite part? payroll. payroll.

paperwork. I mean, there's so many laws in foreign, like these 2257 laws, which I think started because tracing boards, I believe that's when it started. So we have so much paperwork and you can't just do one set of paperwork and it applies for it's like every day on set you have to fill out different paper work and it's very tedious. Yeah, I feel like that's the same in every industry, right? I don't know in a way, like I hate paper,

I hate running paper rolls. Nightmare, what about you Anna? What about being in porn? What part of it is like, some days you're like, I don't feel like having sex today. What about you? I don't know.

Yeah, probably that part, like sometimes like, I see people grinding every day and I am like aggressively horny like once a week. Yeah, you know, trying to find the drive to like always want to like turn an a fox on is probably like the hardest thing. But then when you get cuties, you just say you make it work. What does turn you on Anna? Like, even in your, I guess in your personal life, are you in a relationship? Are you in a relationship?

Kind of, I guess, trying to figure it out. Okay. What's it like dating at a porn start? Like, so I would think of the just certain expectation that when people date you, that you're gonna be. Oh, yeah, it's terrible. I prefer dating porn stories over civilians because there's always a point when the understanding is like,

miss, you know, like we're on two different pages. Like, my job is always gonna remain my job, but, you know, the other party wants you to like stop or change because, you know, they're like, no, I really want you to myself and I don't want you doing gangbangs I mean learn I'm like, but I love gangbangs So how is it different? Can you talk to you about what is so if you're having sex with a civilian? What is the difference like if I was watching you at home with your partner? Well at home sex with civilian versus porn star, because porn star sex, we kind of like

are like in a jungle gym and just, but sex with a new partner at home, it's like slower, a lot slower, you know, like take the longest time just like kissing and exploring before any of that other stuff comes out. And it kind of feels like high school, you know, like your first high-mish where it's like taking such a long time to do the fore-playing, getting to know each other. So it feels really romantic to me, you know, like, I definitely don't do any of the porn stuff, so I have to let them know, like, right away, like, don't put that shit in my butt. I'm not squirting on the couch, like, we're not gonna fuck through the house. Fuck right here.

You know, like, it's very slow, very casual, until there's tequila, but for the most part, it's very cool. Well, that's very real life, right? But the thing that I liked about the porn that I did watch that you've directed and that you've been in, is that some of it is slow. Like it's, you've 30 minutes, there's like build up, I love that there's a lot more oral sex on a vulva. You see that way more in leading with that. We're not just starting with

blowjob on a penis, you know. How do you create that tension? Because I think some of us, even in relationships, can think about like, how do I go home and we're still one of sex play partner after so long? So what are the elements that you've learned, Jackie, that actually create the sexual tension that we could learn from? For me, I mean, I think it's just connecting through the eyes. And I think a lot of performers are really timid about doing that, like really looking at the person and not looking around and trying to move some sort of thing that's all over the room.

Like if you just hung in to the person that you're, you're desiring and you're just staring into their eyes, like there's so much that builds just in looking at somebody. And it's not done enough in form where people just look at each other and stare and you can feel that palpable like, oh, I'm not going to close off. But I mean, every scene is different because some of the scenes I write, it's literally, it is like a race to the finish line and we're going to rip off each other's clothes. But then some of the other scenes are like, what are we not saying? Because we really wanna have sex.

So it's trying to figure out what every scene, like how the two people in this scene are going to have sex. And it's gonna be different for every scene. So some scenes will be slow, like somebody's first time, or whatever it may be, would be a little slower, but maybe it's two X's that are getting back and rushing until somebody comes home or something. Right, right.

Do you find yourself, Jackie, on set, that there's something that you're like every single set? These are the same kind of instructions I'm giving. Correcting the eye contacting. That's a good one. It's so intimate. What else? True, I will often get after the male crew

because they like to cut off the guy's head in the shot. Okay. It's very traditional porn where it's like, okay, let's dehumanize the guy, he's just like a fucking torso. When the thing is, women, you know, and I don't like to make blanket statements. But like the men and women do want to see the man

in his reaction and how he reacts to a blowjob or how he reacts to whatever it is, it's sexy to look at a guy and him reacting. So a lot of the male crew, especially if I'm working with new ones, I'm always like, stop cutting off his head. He's at least, unless there's no way to get the shot, like the guy's head needs to be in the shot as well, just as important. I agree. So what do you have to tell the porn stars though,

and say like when you're directing the... I mean like the way they get below jobs. So the guy is like the way they pussy is like... Tell me, let's talk about how not to eat pussy and how to eat pussy, please. I cannot imagine a woman enjoying like the flicking tongue or like the really rough fingering. And so some people may like that.

I mean everyone's different, but like I think the men also ignore the clit a lot. And so it's like, the clip, the clip is like really important here. So it's stuff like that that the aggressive fingering is like, what are you digging for change in there? Like, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't even need to, at least personally, for me, like, you want me to put your fingers in the light of the effort, just rubbing your foot. It's pleasurable. Yeah Yeah, but like guys don't, again, I think it's easier to do the insertion of the vagina because on camera, it's easier to see that than if they're actually

paying attention to the clip, it's harder to see on camera. Right. So what do you think, Anna? What about you with, or let's just break down oral for a minute. So what have you found makes, when you're receiving oral, what is ideal for you, or what have you learned about receiving oral that you really like that maybe we wouldn't have known before? Probably not to receive it from a guy in porn.

Just probably. Yeah. Unfortunately, like the most part, guys in porn perform like they perform off camera on camera off camera. So they still kind of do the same thing off camera. And they are unfortunately taught to be terrible pussy eaters. And the civilians they got can eat on that. They like romance the stone, like make out with the pussy. That's like the best, the best. The porn guys, I've had, I've had porn guys that wrote books about how to treat

vaginas like that, like, are just the worst pussy eaters. And I'm like, what? You're a educator. That's a good reason. I'm writing a book about you. Why? Yeah. Yeah. We need some women, some vulva owners to write those books. So, so Jackie, you probably, like, yeah, we need some women some vulva owners to write those books. So so Jackie You probably like you you go in and direct you're like this is not we do that you're like okay cut Okay, this is what you do like here's the literal hood it retracts slow. Do you have to do that? I mean I practically have to do that even with my lovers. I think it is why I don't I mean there's a few reasons one You don't want to have escalated somebody but secondly, I think it is the responsibility of me to communicate to the performers to communicate to each other.

Because again, what Anna is pleased by an oral might not be what I like and vice versa. So I think it's important that performers say, hey, I want you to do this to my vagina or, you know, because there are some girls that do want to be penetrated, I don't, but communicating to your partner and really telling them. And that is something I try and encourage people to do is to communicate what they want because I think everyone in real life

needs to be communicating. And not making this assumption that there's one way to do everything. But do you talk about this before the shoot then, because if we're not scripting the sex, like if I just went in with a guy, and there was no skit to know what I like, and I find myself in real life correcting,

because I'm like, no, don't go, don't put your finger in right now, don't go so fast. So in the scenes where you're not directing the sex, like, and you don't want to cut the scene, like Anna, when you're making a porn, can you actually direct them when it's it's rolling, because there might not be doing what you want. I find that if I'm not like messing with my male partner

or whoever I'm fucking, I try to non-verbally communicate with them before I say it. Okay. Just because that's kind of like my love language, like I just like to like motion. And if you go with me this way, then I'm like, yeah, we're doing it, you know? So I prefer to like try like motion them to do it.

If I have to say it for me, it kind of like throws me off. So I'm just trying to like move your body talking shit in my head. So you're saying you're like, God damn it. Does not eat. Another porn star that doesn't eat pussy. Jesus. Right. Right. All right. Here's another one. The tricky part about it is that every person who has a vulva is different what they want. But are there any general rules that we should follow? People could follow if they have a special vulva in their life. What would you say Jackie or Annie?

Don't ignore the clip. I mean, I think it's the most exciting universe. Everyone's clip is a huge arachnist on for them. That would be the one thing not to ignore. Let's talk about penis is real quick. What is the right and wrong things that we're seeing with oral and penis? It just feels like a performance and I understand that like visually a sloppy blow job is very fascinating to watch, but at the same time and you'll hear a lot of guys, especially uncircumcized

guys, will complain that they're too rough. A lot of girls will just go down and they don't realize that a circumcised penis is a lot more sensitive and there's a lot of other things at play. So, I mean, I would just say that like, gagging is not, it's gone so porn and it's not universally liked by home men either. It's not universally liked. That is true. So Anna, do you have orgasms through penetration? Um, I do. I do. Um, I find it hard to perform with a toy, um, but I prefer I would like a toy with a, with a dick too. That would be fun like at home.

It's a lot easier, but performing wise. Yeah, like the guy is going to, I don't really need the guy once I have the vibrator. I don't really need him. He can support the toy. But. But compliment each other. I know. So. Thank you. Vibrators. Bigger than penises too. They do. But it takes a special penis to like, want to like work with the vibrator and the girl and like know that Like you have to close up and be in different positions like most performers

Men want to be like the spotlight of giving a orgasm about the toys So we're like Jackie said they'll definitely like want to throw it away. Okay. You're good. You're done Well, I um, I want to ask you is we got some questions We put this on our Instagram and people want to know, is it normal to get jealous when my partner watches porn, even if he communicates with me. So I get that for women all the time. And people are always getting jealous.

I think it's like a threat. They think it's taking it. Yeah. I don't understand. I don't understand either. It's a problem of entertainment. And you know, if that, you know, if whoever is not the one watching the porn, I'm sure they're masturbating to something

with their to get jealous of whatever it is they're masturbating to, whether it be the love interest in a book or whatever. The person at Starbucks who gave them their coffee that morning, like there's just going to be other things anyway. I just think it's about communication and feeling safe and getting rid of shame and all that stuff. Well, here's another one, like, someone else and I feel like guys tried to reenact porn with non-porn stars.

How can I compare to a porn star? So I think that's probably from a woman. Yeah, they're probably choking her, they're doing all these things and she's like, I don't want it to be like that. You know, you just gotta talk, talk about what you do on. That's the problem is a lot of you don't like porn or don't like what they're seeing.

They actually don't not have a it with what they do like. You know, what what actually does feel good to me. I know I just learned that through my own like masturbation and figuring it out. I think found more that they liked, you know, because if they're turned off by these whatever reference scenes or whatever it is that they don't like, they might want to explore something more like the less where it's very natural and maybe show it to that person and say, hey, dude, this is like more my thing. Then, you know, yeah. So do you have any, well first of all,

how can we best support adult filmmakers and stars? Is there anything we can do? I was gonna say you could follow your favorite porn stars and, you know, click their links in their bio, go to your favorite sites like Lesa and recommend your favorite porn stars that way we come up for them yeah okay how is the only fans how is the only fans infected impacted what you guys are doing what you're both doing man only fans is like only fans put

power in performers hands which I'm very thankful for. It gave a lot of us the opportunity to start producing stuff for ourselves, which kind of like brings more ethical points to the table, you know, especially like once you work for an ethical company, you realize what you want to produce and you're like, yeah, this makes sense. So only fans, I think think was pretty awesome for performers. Cool. Yeah. And Jackie, I have to ask you because I mean, we're not in the same industry, but I've been talking about sex for 16 years here. Like, I don't know, did you still get inspired every day? Do you?

I do. I mean, there's definitely when the steps, the step is genre, it sucks your soul dry. And I mean, I was doing that for years. And initially, I thought it was great. And then I, you know, just drains you. But I think the industry, the one thing about the industry that I've always noticed is that it definitely, it goes through waves and changes all the time. So it's hard to get really bored

because something new is always coming in. Yes. Exciting when new people are always joining the business. So I love my job. And I never really feel like I'm in a rut. You have a great job because this is great service for people too. I think that we don't know where to go for information and to learn how to have sex. And I love that you guys are creating the kind of work that could really help people and

not hurt them, inspire them, putting power of their own pleasure into their own hands. Okay. I have to ask you both the five questions. They're just quick, quicky questions that we ask. Oliver, guess they're easy. Don't worry. It's not like a part with that scary. Jackie, I want to ask you what's your biggest turn on?

Kissing. Anna. I was going to say licking, but I think I meant to say kissing because I was like lips and licking. What is that? Licking is going to do though. Okay. I mean now Anna the second question biggest turn off Do Sherry Jackie ignoring the clips

Okay, what makes good sex Jackie? I contact what about you Anna good sex chemistry Okay, Anna something you would tell your younger self about sex and relationships It did pretty good, so. It's been pretty, yeah, right. Probably stick to that in. It's a pretty good deck. Okay, love it. What about you, Jackie? Don't fake your orgasms.

What's the number one thing you wish everyone knew about sex, Jackie? That it's different for everyone. There's no one way to have good sex. It depends on who you are and who you're with. Anna? Probably that sex doesn't have to be fast. That you could take your time and you don't have to always strangle your partner with your penis.

Let them breathe. Okay. Great. Tell me how people can find you. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at Jackie St. James at JACKY STJAMBS or all of my work on Bolesa.co or Bolesa.co. We'll have that in the show notes as well.

Anna, what about you? You could follow me on Twitter at A&A F O triple X or Instagram at Anna underscore fucking underscore Fox. I got it. Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate both of you. And thanks for the work you're doing. Thank you.

That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review where every listener podcasts and share this with a friend or a partner. Believe me, if you got something out of this, they will too. We released two to three episodes a week, find me an Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter.

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