Sex With Emily - Random Acts of Masturbation

Episode Date: October 2, 2014

This Podcast is all about keeping it classy.. Just kidding!Emily is joined in the studio by a surprise guest who is no stranger to talking sex. Mike Catherwood, well-known radio personality and one half of the Loveline dream team, stops by to talk love and masturbation.. Among other things.Emily and Mike discuss following your passions and what it takes to give a really good Podcast. Emily tells the story of how she came into the Podcast game, and Mike shares the epic tale of his most recent masturbatory conquest. Mike and Emily discuss the How-To’s of masturbation as a new father, no details spared!  Then they move on to the good stuff. Mike and Emily talk about a recent PornHub study on what women want in pornography. They discuss why women are so into lesbian porn, and why, according to Mike, most dudes are not. This leads to a talk on fantasies and the meaning behind them. Next it’s on to the relationship talk- Emily talks about some of the most common question she gets asked, and how to handle them. Then Mike shares the story of the slow romancing of his now wife, from Loveline to Twitter to waiting six months for sex, and talks about how sometimes the things that make you “Undateable” might end up being the things that someone loves about you most.  This totally random, totally uncensored show tackles some interesting questions. Do all guys jerk off standing up? Why does Emily need a wife? And how does one masturbate like Mike Catherwood? All this and more in my latest Podcast!  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to this episode of Sex with Emily. You're going to love tonight's show. But before we begin on our journey here tonight, one of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at good vibes.com. They carry all the best sex toy brands like I'm obsessed with the new Vibratex Dalia. And they also make the rabbit habit. If you have one of those old rabbits from 10 years ago, you do have to see this new one. It's amazing.

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Betrubized, they call them in a bag on day. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The world's got a standard, oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common with all of it? What do you mean, like laundry?

It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Evelyn is not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships,

and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithelary.com. You can check out all of our podcasts. We should just go to iTunes and subscribe. So easy that way, but what you really have to do, have to do, ASAP, set up for your mailing list. Because it awesome and I just want to say, I'm not bragging about you. I'm really good at this. I know I have some faults, but for some reason everyone lately was like, hey, I love your emails. Like people I don't even know, like random at this show with trade show, I love your emails. So apparently I can give good, give good emails. So check that out.

I give good email. I really, I really, you know, everyone needs their skill in life. And that's one of my, I hear the Anderson, Anderson, we're, sorry, Anderson, are you paying attention? Yes, hi. Doesn't matter. I just want to audio, but we just have a special guest that just walked in, and which is amazing because we're starting a little later. How come these headphones don't work? I don't know. See, welcome to my world. Hey, I mean, you're seat. You're my seat. This is my cathode.

Yeah, hi. It's happening. This is so perfect that you just dropped in because we're starting a Lavin we thought no that works. Yeah, isn't that awesome? Yeah Okay, so I'm glad you started later. I mean, I don't want you to be late It's been a long it's been a crazy day. Yes, I'm sure you're maybe you could just talk to all time and like do like Rudy or something I got your sex life tell masturbation stories Mm-hmm. I beat off last night for the first time in a long time Okay, for you a long time is... Well, now it's like a legitimate long time, like four or five days.

Oh really? So it really is. Yeah. Cause you're not like the guy you called into a line who master who does it when the child's awake. No, no, no. Do you remember that? How old? The one was complaining about her husband? I would do it when my child's awake, but she would have to with my wife she would have to be with my wife in the other room Exactly. In fact in the other side of the house No, no, no, you're a good man like that. I got it. So it's been four or five days. Wow. So it was a good one Would you yeah, yeah, it was massive? Okay, so what did you master it? Can I just my cat the wood? Yes

People I don't think not everyone knows you. I mean no in fact, I would say by far The more the majority of people don't know me. Mike Catherwood is the co-host of Loveline, which is, I talk about in the show at the time, long running, you know, 31 years on the air of Loveline. It's been the host, probably for the best years, the last three years, Dr. Drew. And I am honored. In the opinions of most, I am the host of the second best era of Love line behind Corolla. Corolla is the master. But I think you are. And I'm not just saying it's like, I just really like you're good. You're good.

I laugh. I truly, like you're very good at what you do. Oh, thank you. That means a lot to me. And I've never, I've just been sitting here in my room alone all these years. Like I've never worked with anyone, you know? It's a big difference. I tried to do podcasts by myself. And it's a whole different thing. It's a big difference. I tried to do podcasts by myself

and it's a whole different thing. It's a whole different thing. And I'm much better going off to I think sometimes, you know? I think anyone is. I think it's going to answer you, yeah, true. I think it's true. Like either you're,

there's something wrong with you or you are like a weird, like you must be some type of strange genius. If you prefer to do broadcasting alone. Right, just a lot, or with callers. What about like the doctor, doctor, doctor, lord? I don't think that, yeah, I don't think that can constitute as alone.

I'm talking about like these guys, some guys do podcasts and I don't know if there's women that do it, but I know a couple comedians. Like you, and either good. Yeah, Bill, Bill Burr's pretty good. Bill Burr's pretty darn good at doing a podcast and he just, most of the time just talks about just fires of a mic and just goes. And it's not planned.

Doesn't seem like it. I mean, I think I think though, I think he has bullet points like of like stuff he wants to touch on, but it doesn't he certainly is not like he's not doing his stand up. You know what I'm saying? He's not just like he doesn't have an act. And I find that to be far more difficult. Far more child. If you get up and even be a stand-up, right?

Deliver material. Well, again, it's a whole different beast. I mean, there's a lot of similarities to a great radio personality and a great stand-up, but it's really a different mind frame. It is different, because we always have someone to like, you gotta find the good chemistry as someone to help.

If I can split a hand or something, usually he's like sleeping, but I'll try to talk to him and then he'll show if he's on here. Well, and and and a great standup really needs to needs to control the momentum and the audience's attention all the time. Right. A great host actually has to do that very in a very limited capacity. If you're a really good radio host, you have to know when you to divert attention.

I mean, because you can't, you can't, certainly can't interview people if you're trying to constantly work in jokes. It's got to be more about- Exactly. So give it a take. And I think you also have to have a good sense of like, like, I always feel like when I'm bored, like, my own sport, or when I don't get it. You know what I mean? Like, I can kind of, and I think I move it, I can move it along. Yeah. If you, if you, conversation, I just- Yeah, I worry about that because I oftentimes because love. But you do it too.

Well, love. That's what it is. At late at night, late at night. You can sense the audio. Do you just like what you're saying? It's the same things. You can kind of like read what people, you know, I think I can. I don't know if I'm successful at it, but I certainly get a sense that man, if I'm,

you know, the person listening to this radio show right now is not getting their money's worth or right sometimes even though it's utter silence in the state in the studio I'm like I'm crushing right now right now I'm on fire. You can just tell you just feel like it yeah exactly I used to do that at um well tonight I was just gonna be Anderson I we got you know I've had so many guests so we got to important stars in here I love the porn stars yeah but a lot of them like I never I've gone and phased them doing this for you know eight years and I've had the the porn starts. But a lot of them, like I never, I've gone to phases. I've been doing this for, you know, eight years and I've had the, the porn starts shows. I've had the guests all the time and then I know guests for like three years, just like reading emails. Oh, that long. There was like, it was just, yeah, no, like, like every, you know, maybe once every few months, but it wasn't guests at all.

It was me and menace in San Francisco. He was in most time, and I would, he's awesome. And we'd read emails and just I talk and have a topic. And it was so much easier to know so much less stress, I I think sometimes having it and we can go back and forth and answer. And I like, I think people like this and because they really want sex advice, you know, they don't want to just, I don't know, I feel like I'm just having like, well, the great part about you when you give advice about sex and relationships is that it's very authentic. And that's, that is a hard commodity to find in that field because most of it's, I don't wanna say it has an agenda, but when you could read like a woman's interest magazine,

that's not unfiltered sex advice. That's kind of sex advice that comes from the mind of someone who's trying to make a palatable article. Right. I don't mean that it's an insult. It's just, it's not really designed to be helpful advice. It's designed to be a good read. So I can break it down in a way that people can understand.

Just like couples therapy on VHW. That's, I mean, it's number one goal is to be an entertaining show, not to be good therapy. Right. You can say it's bad there, but my point is, is that when you're getting advice or therapy or self help or anything from a, a, a, commodity, from a, from a marketable commodity, right?

It's number one job is to be entertaining and enjoyable, not to be therapeutic or helpful, you know, I was sitting here like, yeah, like talking about, you know, and much more, you know, my academic way, people fall asleep, they wouldn't care. So you gotta make it entertaining and informative, so we can laugh. Well, and you're, you're, you're, you're the, the best part, which you don't ever see in women, is that you're an open book.

I mean, there's like Anderson and I were talking about it. I think I told you that on the air last week that, like, you couldn't fake being you. There's no fake Emily Morris. Like, if you wanted to be a fraud and just this put on, it would be impossible for you to do that. There's no way that your personality is... It's different than, like if I came over your house

for lunch and you were like, It's just impossible. Like the way you are, the person you are, it's impossible for that to be contrived. It's just too frenetic, it's too like, it's just too unique and unfilled, you know? It's too raw, there's no possibility that it's. See, and I feel like I've hold that like maybe

I should reveal more, but you just mean. No, because there's a fine line, you know? No, there is, that's a fine line. That's a fine line. That's one of my show I was like, do I tell everything, do I not? No, there is, it is fine line. Drew and I's friend Jason Ellis, I think you met him. Yeah, he's the master at that because I think when he started his radio show

He was so open he was such an open book that it got to the point where he became an exhibitionist You know, it's like I'm gonna go so far in the I'm an expose myself The bread that it then it got to the point where he was an act and it's a fine line now. He's tone it He's gotten so good at like being very vulnerable and open about certain things, but understanding when to pull it back. I have to tell you, I have to list, I've never heard a show,

which I don't consume a lot of other media actually, which is on the list of things to do. But, but I liked, I mean, it's true. Like even when I started my show, I was thinking, God, at the beginning, like I was worried so much about the litmus has of the right, how to know how much we've, and then I'm like, well, if I thought, where do I slap with less, I'm just like the girl that I gotta keep raising the bar, raising the bar, all was worried so much about the litmus has of the right, how to know how much. And I'm like, well, if I tie right away,

slap it less side, then just let the girl, they got to keep raising the bar, raise the bar. All that sense up with this guy. I'm not going to share that much. But, you know, and now it's just, yeah, I'm just, yeah, I'm who I am. Yeah, it's weird too, because I've given up on that. On like, wondering whether I'm sharing too much.

Oh, no, this is like, this is my first line. Now, I'm like, you're saying, it's funny that you say that. Like, no one else could be me, like authentic, but I feel that way about you and that's why, right? Do you think, no, you think you're not, like, you different when you're, I don't know. No, I, yeah, I definitely think there's a, I look, everybody is turned up a notch

when they're on the air. There's no, I'm, right, for sure. Not, not, that's not it. That's not it. That's not it. That's not it. I remember my ex-boyfriend the first time I was on the air in San Francisco We called into the after he heard it and he was like you're much more articulate you finish your sentences

They're gonna the rate like I think sometimes like yeah better when he out with me like I'm happy or something I'm happier on them on the air me too, and then I leave you I'm like oh then just like coming down the whole time I mean I think that that makes me a little bit more Likeable is that you know what I'm on the air. I'm happier so I think so too. What is it that? Okay, I know what the show we have to go back to what you're masturbating to because you're doing what you're passionate about I mean it's very and I'm not I'm not one of these guys that like hey man find what you're passionate about and say no because sometimes You're five foot four and white and you're passionate about. No, because sometimes you're five foot four and white and you're passionate about basketball. So I don't I'm not one of the I'm not from the school where it's like

always follow your passion. That's it. No, sometimes you need to have your passion as a hobby and you follow what's reasonable. Exactly. Work for work to work or work to live. When you when your skill sets and you're like way of life aligns with what you're passionate about, that's a damn good reason to be very happy. You know, and I feel like you Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. This is my thing, a lot of women men, but they graduate from college or wherever and they think I'm going to find my goal in life is to find the one, to find a partner, to complete me and to have a life in a married and a children. I was on the phone when I was walking in her. I was talking to my ex-girlfriend who was having like a midlife.

I melt down like that. I melt that out of my window. I need to stop trying to find the one because it's just my numbing. Exactly. It is when you're when you're focused on that. It's true. Well, fading is a whole lot. Yeah. When you put out the doubt if she's desperate or if she's frustrated, whatever it is, she's frustrated. She's frustrated. She's not desperate. But the point. I think you know what I'm saying. Like there's just so my thing was I have to find what I'm passion about. It was never about it, because my mom drilled into me that you have to never rely on a man to take care of you. So I figured, my dad hated his job as a lawyer. So I figured, okay, I don't want to hate my job after I found my passion.

So I kept working and working in politics and all these different places until I was on the radio. And the first, I didn't even know. Like it was like, I was a document and did the podcast, the first night, and then I got a radio show. I was like, in the studio, and I was like, this is it. I felt like I felt the first time I was on the radio was how I think it must feel when you fall in love

and you think that you found the one. Yeah. Cause I cared so much about the passion. Yeah, I mean, I could see that. I don't know, like that was like how I was oriented. I've never done a show like this in my life. I'm just like, like my therapy, my way of getting to places, funny.

But Mike, on the way over here, I heard a mini-couper commercial. Oh, yeah, yeah. And I thought it was funny because a lot of people don't know that Mike um he might have he has Dick Morpheal like I think a lot of men do and I'm gonna blame it on porn like everyone blooms everything on porn like they're like oh my god the traffic lights out must be porn I mean that's a hell. But I think that men have seen so many penises now and women with a vagina, women are getting leabial plastic you know, with incredible numbers. But I think the fact that that guys are seeing these huge cops and they're like,

I can't measure up and you might have already had this thing about it. So he always said, I use small penis. Yeah. And like, I just don't believe it. And when we've had on love line, I'm like, we want people to call in. I'm like, one woman like you like tortured or with her desk, like an intern or something like that. But I just think that, yeah, it's like the dick morphine thing. So anyway, I thought and then Michael, one of it, Michael just got a new mini-cube. He's one of his sponsors. I have a mini-cube or two. They did not give it to me though.

And I thought that's so funny because you're always making jokes like the guy in the Porsche, probably is a mini. So he has a mini. So actually people might think you have a large penis. Yeah, but it works opposite because they're like no guy with a small penis. I have a mini-cube and I love that. I really do. I'm not just saying that.

But that was given to me. The cars that I purchased are all the biggest I'm kidding Most overwhelming horse power fucking I know that's what's fun. It's like a link ridiculous, you know small dick cars I know no one I'm saying is though. I just I get it. You didn't pick it But it was funny in my mind the mini the mini I know I just wanted to share that with you Okay, so you hadn't ejaculated in four days. Yeah. And tell me what you chose to watch. I watched. And where did you, is it on your iPad? Yeah, on my iPhone. iPhone.

Yeah. The sixth. Do you have the new one? No, just this one. Whatever this one is. I mean, I'm like really a little guy. The six that came out yesterday. No, no, I need you that one.

Okay, go ahead. So you go where? Where's your where's your watch? I went to my three to like the guest bathroom. The guest bathroom. Okay. And your wife's with the baby, the baby sleeping. No, the baby is a stay.

The baby is a new baby. Mm-hmm. Yeah the, in your wife's with the baby, the baby sleeping? No, the baby is a stay, the baby's asleep. My cousin knew baby. Yeah. She's six months. Six months. Yeah, a little under six months, yeah. Okay. She's in her crib in her bedroom.

Okay. My wife's in our bedroom. And so we have a bathroom attached to our bedroom, but I opted to go to the bathroom like in the house. No, does she know is your wife like, oh, Mike's going to the other round. No, I mean, I think she would, except for two reasons, I don't think she has any clue.

One, it was like four in the morning. My wife's dead asleep. She's so tired from the baby constantly waiting. Oh, okay, yeah. So she, I mean, she wasn't. I thought it was like five minutes ago before you got here. No, no.

It was like four in the morning. So, and, and, I use that bathroom so much because that's a bathroom I shit in. Okay, got it. I don't want to shit in the bathroom near our bedrooms to like that's kind. Yeah. Right. Thank you.

Yeah. That's great. So you went back there. Yeah, your phone. Yeah. That's all you need. Yeah. And then you sit on the toilet.

I just want to understand. I'm okay. Sit on the toilet. Do you like going back? I put the seat down down. Not the seat. I put the seat cover down. And I sit on the toilet like a like an actual chair

Okay, but do you ever put a towel them because it's kind of cold, isn't it? No, well, well, this is what I do I sit there and then I scroll through like you porn or spank wire till I find a scene I like I love it. Yeah, so I find a scene. I like then I start watching it and then put the Turn around take my pants off and put the seat back up so that I could shoot a load into the toilet. But are you standing then? So it goes right into the toilet? I always jerk off standing. Oh, do most guys jerk off standing? No, I found most guys jerk off. I would like to know you know, I guess most guys jerk off lying down from what I've heard, but it's so much more efficient just to do in the toilet. I never I tried once after Jim Jeffries, the comedian was on here. He said, you don't understand what you're missing out on. It's like so much more comfortable.

It is more comfortable. And I've spent my entire life jacking off standing up. In the bathroom? Yeah, mostly. Mostly. Okay, but what about if you're embedded night? You get up. I get up.

Back up. How did we not know that? Does everyone know this about you? I've said it on the air. Yeah, talk about it. Other airs. I love like, I'm not in love line. Yeah, yeah, you never run your stuff.

I can wait a minute. So you're embedded even tired. What you're like, I would imagine you stay up by the window. That's exactly what happened this last instance was I was I was kind of racing I had a racing mind but I really wanted to go to sleep I was tired but I wasn't sleepy and I was like I bet you jerk and awful help me go to sleep and so I got up and went to the bathroom jerk off. So we just can't work for you lying down. I just can't yeah. Because growing up in your home like you could probably only do in the bathroom and brothers.

That's totally the reason I think I spent the look the first 2000 loads I shot I was standing up. So I just know and we all get a lot of you again to their patterns. That's why a lot of men I think a Jack Lake quickly too is because yeah, they're so afraid someone's gonna come in you learn men learn. So okay, so then you search, you porn spank wire, when you said you found something that interested you, what was it?

Uh. You might also like like Amazon, because it knows what you liked last time. Yeah, yeah, well, no, what it does do, what those tube sites do though do is that, if I watched, like say, well, I ended up watching Sasha Gray.

She's one of my favorites. Oh, yeah, you know, she's in my top. She's in my show. She's in my top five, I would say. Sasha Gray. Right. So I ended up watching like a scene where it was her and another young lady who I'd never seen doubling down on a gentleman.

And what they will do is like, if you're watching a scene with Sasha Gray, if you go down, it'll like from go down, it'll like from that scene, it'll recommend others. So like, there'll be 10 other scenes below that are say like, you know, try, also try this and it'll be like either the stars that are in that senior watching or like the theme like if you if you put in Sasha Gray anal, it'll give you a couple Sasha gray. It'll also give you a couple anal. It'll also give you like a couple, you know, okay, got got it so it tries to play off the themes of the tags of whatever senior watching I got it okay so tell me because I actually had a study here about porn I didn't get any

much I love that you're here because today it was crazy but there was a whole thing here about porn and statistics and what people watch what I knew we need to finish our story so what did you what did you what did you it was heard much like it was her and much like, much like, much like with women and my taste of women and my sexual partners in the past. I'm not pretty, I'm not like discerning. I don't have like, I'm not into like just big butts or just anal or just group sex or like I'm pretty.

What's going on? You're like, I'm different. I just like, I just like sex with girls. Like I'm pretty, but you like more ethnic I I'd like if you wouldn't look at the if I was an important you I wouldn't turn you on No, that's not true because you're you're like like aesthetically you're all you're very much my type like darker hair darker features right Right, I'm not like okay. No, but you're you're like I'm like spinner. Yes, you are but you mean because you're because you're thinner

No, oh, I don't know. Yeah, a short thing. You're small. You're smaller than the average girl I would be into. Like most women, I'm with are either actually either taller than me or close to it. Right. But like the girl I was talking to,

the girl I was in a relationship was shooting like five two. So I mean, I'm definitely. Right. So like I said, when you did master me, masturbate to me once, at least that you told me which made me feel Yeah, and I was also thinking about Okay, wait no finish this so so you

Because I was thinking today on the show and when I was coming here that it was funny how what okay What listen tonight? So I'm not gonna go there. Okay finish what you watched really I just I She was like I'll tell you off there. Okay. It's one of those. Yeah. Okay. I watched this, like I said, Osasha Gray and some other young lady and a gentleman and how quick, how long did it take? I blew load pretty quickly. Because like, like, they, you know, like most quarantines, it starts with oral and then they go to sex and then maybe like anal. Right. I already blew my load before they even got to sex. Like it was this Justin Oral. Wow. You didn't even finish it. And you won't go back and finish it.

No, fuck no. Like it's done. Like you look another one. No, I actually thought, like I used to think like Corolla was insane because he always talked about how he really needed to like be into the scene. Like not only was he watching this, it's a chick thing though because women are usually the ones they want the plot, they want the romance. One of the relationships. He assumes it's because he grew up

in the 70s like when that's all they want to move like a part of yeah like they didn't have sex until he's like 10 minutes in those movies right so I I I I uh I yeah I I find that's insane to me when guys are like well it's babysitter porn I got to find out if the parents come home I'm like you're fucking're fucking in. I know exactly. It's like, right? I'm feeling that it's cute. That's like that. OK, so when we come back, we're going to talk more about porn and stuff. And actually, there are some stats about people most searched for.

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You'll use it there. Oh course, okay, and then do you have like do you like hair other places like back or not? I I don't have that stuff to do in my asshole and balls are the only hair on my body besides my head Okay, do you shave him normally. Yeah, shaving trim. Yeah, I'm like the pubic patch above it. I'll use scissors and then my balls and then. That's the whole thing, just use my balls and taint. I'll use it. Okay, good, you'll love this and no no pro.

And if you go to no no emily.com, you can check one out and you can also get 100% 60 day money back guarantee, a $50 gift card to an award-winning skin care line. And it's like the only thing everyone wants and all that got my guy friends want it Mike once when now you should get one to know no Emily dot com also flashlight the flashlight as we know is it whoo love have you actually used one I gave okay right because I gave you for a baby gift if you used it

yeah it'll the leg strap yeah but you can't but you can't. I'm going to say that. But you can't. I know you can. I am not a type of person that will clean it and use it again. I'm at one load. Like, once I have a load. Because that's why you don't use it regularly, but you have a new one. Once I blow a load and something, I'm getting my leg strap.

But I did you that leg strap. Unless it's a human being. Right. Right, exactly. Yeah. No, I get it. It's hard. But it's not. It comes in a little container. The the flashlight's an excellent product. I'm not just saying it. It feels it feels like having sex

It's way better than masturbating like just with that with your hand and that comes from a guy who loves Dude, that's all I talked about and I feel like I knew everything about my expasteration except for the fact now It stands I can't look on the same but anyway it does it is better than masturbation You know women we've got six thousand toys to use from you've got one and you might as well try it out before you die Because what if it's like the best I could ever had and then you're in bed. You're like holy shit. I never tried this before so check it out. Go to sex with Emily.com and click on the Fleshite banner and buy a flashlight there. You will love it. Okay. So what the hell will we do? I'm so glad because I'm like this show today was insane and I was like, have these emails. I'm gonna read it and I am gonna help you all the way.

I was gonna go off on a whole thing. Wait, first porn categories. This is the thing. You want me to get, I'll take a guess. Are you talking about America or the world? It's not, it had a graphic on here that's not coming up, but yeah, I'm talking about the most popular search categories for women.

It looks like the Wi-Fi is being temperamental. Do you agree? Okay, I'm having, it's not your fault. I've been having, that's what we started late. No Wi-Fi is being temperamental. Do you agree? I'm having, it's not your fault. I've been having, that's what we start late. No Wi-Fi. Lesbian porn women, mostly searched for lesbian porn with gay male porn coming in close second. Predictably, predictably men's top care categories

favor both ends of the age spectrum. So. But I bet you, milk is more popular than teen. Teen and Milf's number one and two. Milf's second. I thought we'd learned on the show or some kind of art of the sort of came out a few weeks ago. It was all it was all Milf's. So lesbian porn comes in at six. I'm in this. Guys are not typically into just girl on girl. I know. It's sweet. Don't get me wrong. It's awesome.

Because you want to be the you want to dick there to kind of like use as point of reference. Like do you like the guns of porn words like you actually can't see Don't get me wrong. It's awesome because you want to be that you want to dick there to kind of like use as point of reference Like do you like the guns a point where it's like you actually can't see the faces or you don't mind seeing the guys I don't mind it for the most part, but I do I have dabbled in the POV Yeah, yeah, cuz I feel like people a lot of guys like I don't want to see another guy I don't dick, but I can kind of pretend you're dick. That's good Okay, so surprisingly enough women are also on the hunt for multi-partner scenarios with three sums and gang bangs including in the top five search videos. So just so you know people should support.

I don't think that that's surprising. I don't find that surprising only in that a lot of porn viewing is escapism. I don't necessarily feel like these women are interested in gang bangs. It's just like that's so different than your average day. You just like that's so different than your average day. That's so different than your average sexual activity. And it's alluring because it's crazy. It's being ravaged and cherished and it can turn a lot of women on.

I think a lot of fantasies, especially for women, no, they definitely doesn't mean to do a fantasy that you want to act it out. It just means that you have a fantasy. But some things like maybe a threesome or something because or why women have the fantasies about being with so many men or even like the rape fantasy, which doesn't mean you actually want to be raped. It's something about I think women always being told that they don't really want sex or not,

and to sex or they were, have been socialized until maybe recent generations that you have to make them, men have to make the move and we're not really into it. We don't really want to see like it wants. So then like if we're if someone just takes us then there's so many different psychological explanations about why people have rape fantasies. But also just in the one of just being taken by a man is because I think women want to feel cherished. And rape

fantasies are way awesome compared to rape. Oh yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like no one who looks like the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way

you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way you look at the way I think that we all want to be friggin' cherished and loved. Right. And so I think what I was going to come in and say initially on the show tonight was that I was thinking about communication. And I always say one of my things that I say is communication is lubrication. Yeah. Right.

Because couples have to, I was thinking about the best people that are asking me, I got an interview today about therapy. And what kind of therapy do I follow? And what, you know, what belief do I have about couples? And we're having this whole thing therapy do I follow and what you know what what belief story I have about couples and we're having this whole thing and I just thought you know because it's been bumming me out I get all these emails from listeners and we hear it all the time that people and I thought maybe I need to change the Where I talk about it on my show because I'm always saying well, just talk to for example I'm not even going to read the email and find me and I guarantee you that either one or one of the partners is writing and saying that either her husband or what you know a husband okay, Garrett okay

I'm just gonna look at the name. Have a chance wife, have a chance wife are so increasing the bedroom and they have an insect for three years and they have a kid who's two and they don't want to do about it okay. So I would might say to them you know I think you guys really need to talk about it and you know but here's the issue I, is that nobody knows how to communicate. And it's not just that they can't communicate about sex, they're not communicating about anything in their relate,

like as well as they could. And I thought, well, maybe if I explained to people, it would demonstrate rather than just saying, well, come up with your partner, because if they haven't even told their partner that they're upset that they spent so much money on the credit card last month, they're certainly not gonna say,

hey, I've been wanting to try this fantasy. There's communication issues all around. And we're not taught these skills until we're older, and a lot of you will learn, never even taught that, right? Well, and I don't think that, I don't think that a lot of people take into consideration sexual stuff, even, like, I don't, like, what's on fire?

No, no, no, no, I don't even think, when you talk to couples about communication, I don't even think they factor't the problem. No, no, no, no, no, I don't even think like when you talk to couples about communication, I don't even think they factor in the bedroom. Like I think they automatically think like the bills, the kids, future plans, and stuff like they're not even thinking like, oh, and also what I want in the bedroom. Exactly. Well, right. So I'm always telling people you got to communicate about what you want, but what I started to think was

that they're not even think that that's the point. Is that they might, yeah, maybe they could communicate about all these other things, but the bedroom thing is that there's no clear picture on how to do it. So to them saying to their wife, this is what I want to try, is terrifying. Because when you get to also, when you get together with someone, sex is amazing at the beginning. There's nothing you got to even talk about, right? Right, right, right.

Because you have to be together, you have to be sex, you know, three know three four times at a time every time we see each other remember that like you know in the first time you're with someone and then It's that first time that you're together and you don't have sex and you're like, okay It's that part. It probably happens like six months to a year you're in half into a relationship typically Don't you think it's the beginning you've sex every single time and it stops yeah yeah it's weird though see I mean such a weird guy to ask that because like my relationships are so incredibly erratic as far as the relationships I have to draw reference from like it's either it's either like I didn't have sex with her until six months in or like what is this the first time we had we didn't have sex like I can I there's girls that I didn't actually do anything else with but have sex and then there's like girls like my wife were like I waited so long

have sex in my wife I don't know it's worked out that way did she put you off or you I just kind of you wanted to wait no not really I didn't want to wait it's just but she was, let's take it slow. Literally six months. Yeah, like make like three months at least once a week. I have a really bad gauge of time unless it happened last week. Okay, but it was it was definitely over three months. That's that's really it was like 15 days. Yeah, that's so impressive. Oh, thank you. Yeah, and it wasn't like it wasn't like a conscious effort.

And I don't think she was trying to wait. I just I think she what the big problem was with my wife and I said she met me on love line. I know I love her. She was a guest on love line. So she got a whole different impression of me than how I really am especially in a romantic capacity. But after she met you, what do you mean? So she thought you'd be different better. I don't know. Guys, you met your ex. She thought I was like some big ladies man. Like I was like totally gonna throw on the moves. And so then when we went like two dates and I hadn't even really tried to kiss her, she's like, I wonder what's up with this guy?

Like what's he got up his sleeve? Like either she said I just assumed you were banging like five other girls. Which by were. No, not at that time. No, no, not at all in fact. Really? You think it dries up for like a week or something before you matter. I was assuming you were like banging chicks all the time in between your divorce and then I was I was. I was. Don't get me wrong between my two wives. I had. Ridiculous. So what I'm saying is there was like I had

a dry spell when I met when I met my wife. Um, you got to remember, but between me meeting my wife and actually going out on our first date There was like a year shut up. Why was there a year? Didn't I had no idea yes, but I had no idea she was interested in me. I had no Did you like tweet you or something? Yeah, that's exactly what you did shut up Yeah, like a year later and that she emailed and to like let me know that she had a great time and that She wanted to thank us and blah blah blah. So she tweeted you after the love line show and you to like let me know that she had a great time and that she wanted to thank us and blah blah blah. So she tweeted you after the love line show and you're like thanks you too or you didn't even respond. That's exactly what I was like oh I had a really enjoyed it.

It was like a public tweet. But you got a shan that happens nine out of ten guests. Right. Okay. So again we have a lot of really beautiful girls that come in to promote their their actresses or models and promoting something. Yeah, you see me into an actress Bianca. Bianca Kylik. Kylik. And she, listen, we have a lot of beautiful women come in here to promote it. Never in a million years did I assume that any of them wanted anything to do with me. They're just they're here to promote their doing their job.

Right. But you didn't feel like a chemistry right away. I felt like a personal chemistry in that I got along with her very well. Right. Okay, so it took her a year after the tweet and she's like, I said she'd been following you It's even like kind of obsessed with you for a year. That's what she said. I didn't know that I mean this she was obsessed with you like tracking your tweets or Instagram. She said the second time I was On filling in for Regis on live with Regis and Kelly now live with Like she said the second time I did it she was like she'd like had friends over to come watch with

With her and like was like into it That is so cute, so she had she had a you're like you were there on there for a week, right? I'm just gonna please I know during a during that period that interim period that year where my wife and I didn't Talk or like didn't go on dates right? I was on the live with Regis She kept all the time I was like filling in all the, you know, I did on YouTube. And then I was on dance with the stars in that period. I know, wait, and that is my favorite period

of your life. One of them, because he slept with everyone and dancing with the stars. Not everybody, but a dude, an alarming amount. He didn't see that anyone from craft services. Okay, hold on. Oh, did who would you say? No, just not all.

I would just, no, I you? Who'd you say, but all the dancers? No, just not all. I would just, I feel bad saying that because like, not even most because a lot of those girls are like in relationships, like I said, I said, I said three dancers. Right, and I wardrobe,

specials are in. And I wardrobe girl and I produce. Right, she was measuring your producer. And a producer. Dude, that was awesome. See, that's why she probably thinks that's about you. I don't know, who knew, who knew. Yeah, but she didn't.

I get that, but she didn't know that. Okay, so she was obsessed with you. And then, and then she was like, Effet, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna email that producer and say Mike, tell Mike I like him. What? No, she's she emailed Ann and said like, I just had a really great time. Please pass along the message to Drew.

Here's my number and email, but it should Drew and Mike. But that was after the show. That was immediately after. Right, but then a year later, how would she get fun again? Well, no, we just kept doing tell the chef Having conversations back and forth on on Twitter, but like innocuous ones not you know, not every Yeah, just be like like I saw you on Craig Ferguson You need to ditch the shoes like joking. I would say joking stuff right and she would ha ha that then

to ditch the shoes like joking, I would say joking stuff. And she, haha, then her co-star Wendy McClendon, Kavi came in to promote bridesmaids when he's a fabulously talented actress who also was on rules of engagement with my wife for many years. She was coming into promote bridesmaids maybe six months after my wife had first been. Okay. She said, uh, yeah. So I, you know, I, you guys have a lot of my coasters on. You know, Patrick Warburton and I was like, yeah, tell Bianca I love her, you know,

because I was just joking. Like I was like, you know, because she's pretty. And I was like, you know, and that I, you know, I got a special place in my heart for. And she goes back to the cat to the to the set. And she's like, I was on Loveline last night. The host said to tell you hello and that he wants you. And like, I was like laying on thick jokingly.

And she's like, oh, so she tweeted me back. And she said, Wendy told me that we need to have a little conversation. And I was like, is that what we need to have? You know, and then kind of snowballed. Yeah. And then she direct message me instead of tweeted me. Okay. And then finally she's like, are you gonna ask for my number or like are you just completely inept? And I was like, oh is that what this is?

Right, because you still didn't get it. Yeah. She's hurting because she's just reacting to being funny because I just said to her co-star. Yes. And then you end the day and then she still wasn't sure because you didn't make out with her for six months or whatever. Correct. I didn't even try to kiss her. No, went. Did she finally kiss you? You have to try women. You never make the first move to you. Nope Did she make the first move with the kiss Yeah, the first time you kissed you guys would still be dating now. I don't I honestly I don't remember our first kiss

I think I think she did I think she did she didn't leaned out. You don't remember? I remember. She does the first everything. She has to. I'm practically her pet. I mean, I'm completely incapable. She has to be like, Michael, now do this. That's what I need. Kind of like you remind you what to do every day.

Oh, yeah. I think I do need a wife. What do you mean? Like packed your or like tells you don't forget today. Oh no, I do. I'll cook 100% cooking. One of the things made that stuff. Like how to survive in life. Yeah. I take care of with that. What does she take care of you? Michael say goodbye. We're like we'll have get and I'll be like reading a book while we have guests over. Like I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm like barely, I'm like bordering on assburgers.

You know, not, I mean, well, no, just, you can't, when you, you shut down sometimes. Not that I shut down. I just, I get, I get in my own little world. I'm very introspective and to almost to a fault. And so my wife has to be like, like, like, I remember the first time, for instance, here's a perfect example. When the first time she told me she loved me

She's like Michael Camille and it wasn't like Michael. I love you. I just want you to know something She's like Michael Camille and I'm like what? Camille Camille I need to talk to you. I was like oh fuck. I was like what did I do and So I got like closer like closer and she's like no Camille Camille I need to talk to you and she's like closer and she's like, no, come here, come here, I need to talk to you. And she looked me and she's like, Michael. And this is not good for podcasts, because I'm trying, I'm mind-meeing how she did. She's like, look, look in my eyes. She's like, I love you.

Does that mean anything? I was like, I love you too. And she's like, okay, good. I'm, she's like, are you listening? I love you. I want you to know that. Oh, oh. So she knew she was like, it was like talking to a child,

you know, in many ways I'm very adolescent. Right. And you're in your development emotionally. Yeah, I don't have anything instinctive. I don't. I wish I did. I'm not saying that as a point of being proud of that. I just, I'm not someone who has a lot of natural instinctive ideas or feelings. I, everything I have to do, I have to intellectualize, I have to learn it.

That's me. I totally get it. What do you get emotional about? I mean, are you saying that you typically just don't experience as many emotions around a lot of things or just when it comes to relationships? It's harder for you to just. stuff. Yeah. I'm a very caring person. I really do wish everybody. I want everybody to be happy. And I hope everybody, I want everybody to, I mean, I don't like it when people are like, I don't care what people think about me.

Like, no, I really would love for everybody to like me. I would like that. I want, I don't, I understand. Sometimes I offend people or I say things that kind of rub people the wrong way. But I don't like that. I don't want I understand sometimes I offend people or I say things that kind of rub people the wrong way. But I don't like that. I don't want to make people angry. Right, no, no, it's because I get it.

Like I feel like sometimes I shut down about things. It's hard to. But at the same time, like I don't, I don't, like I, some people, like Kimmel's a perfect example. I'm not saying that as it, like, I don't mean to say it is to make it sound like, oh, we're best buddies. Right. Jimmy Kimmel, for those of those of you don't know he started his career as a radio personality here at K Rock where I and he worked at Kevin and Bean just like I did and so

I knew he's in this family and we've we've crossed paths and he I know him he knows me but not in any way we're not buddies you just we just but everyone who knows Jimmy most notably Adam who they're like they're like best buddies. Okay, you got to say like he is He just it's so natural for him to be like a likable Jovial person and he gets like Introducing people and he can be the life of the party and not in like a campy way. It just it's very instinctive to him It was he as a person is very affable and very Good with people and that aspect of me is bad. I just never developed it.

You think you're so, so socially, you know, you get uncomfortable or awkward. I spent 90% of my life until I was 18 years old in my bedroom, you know, like I just did. If I wasn't at like sport, practice, whatever. We met the band till you were 18 and the bedroom. Oh, fuck fuck yeah I masturbate a lot going up right so what we doing about I had Mike sober now just so you don't know his history but he's been sober for 12 years 12 years yeah it's amazing a lot of a lot of a lot of it's numbing yeah and even learn to

even as an addict even as an alcoholic I was a, I was not a very social user, right? I was very reclusive. You know, I love that. It was my favorite thing in the world. I, everybody talks about like, man, do you miss partying and stuff? I was like, well, I wasn't really that much of a partier. I, there was nothing better in the world to me

than an 18 pack, some blow and cable TV. But what would you, you just sit there and watch TV? I know a lot of, I have a lot of friends or adults in some where the life with partying, some are like, no, I just at the end, I was just doing blow and I'm like, that was like a dream come true to me. It's like. I know a lot of friends were at X in somewhere the life with party and some were like No, I just at the end. I was doing blow it all like a dream come true to me It's like if I had a couple of organizing. I mean, you're literally just head and watch TV But I know that point in my life. I didn't have shit to organize. I was 19 with no money You know, I know what wait, so you just did it to like kind of numb and just to entertain yourself Yeah, no, I would I would come up with funny ideas or like try to write songs

I thought I was gonna be like some big rock star something where I Draw pictures like I just it's very very content in that you know, and in my watch a lot of movie I was really into movies and really music a lot of you weren't like popular in high school or right? Um, no, no by no means I had a very strong core network of friends, but it was very limited. I was not like I wasn't by eating me I don't mean to make it sound like I was like bullied or a dork But I certainly wasn't like people were like Yeah, when I showed up at a party or something. I was not social But the point is that your wife was able to recognize what you needed How she needed to communicate with you. Yeah, well, you say it's like a child. I totally get it

I'm sort of like a dude and really Sometimes and I've had very similar scenarios With men being more like taking a more of the feminine role with me and saying can we can I be boyfriend girlfriend? Sure. Like I get it because I'm the same way. Well I, it's funny and I don't mean to hijack your whole podcast but. No, whatever.

No, I love it because I love it. My wife. I'm like. My wife through my, my what I perceive to be my inadequacies, my shortcomings socially, romantically, saw something so special and unique in those inadequacies. So what led to me being kind of shy and vulnerable and weird to other girls was what made my wife fall in love with me. Right, because she loved those things. It was attractive to her. It was sweet.

It was she saw you, it was like yeah she she got you like that so that's So we want right all the things that we Criticize ourselves for you just want someone to love you the way you are. I remember I remember like our second day, you know, she's like she's She my wife's the kind of like not kind of my wife's like a hippie like she's way into meditation and Eastern medicine and non-traditional like she's way into meditation and Eastern medicine and non-traditional therapeutic practices things like that are you Veda and and yoga and it was very into it very spiritual and and not just like lip service. He's very devoted to it and I remember like On one of our dates. It was like our second data. I think she brought out this like this huge bag of pills to take

With her meal. Diamonds. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like that, but like, yawksies, yeah. No, but they were like herbs and ashwagandha and turmeric. And she's like, I take this to, you know, but you know, and she was kind of embarrassed of it. And I, very madder, I wasn't trying to put on, I was like, oh, what's that tell me about like all that?

You truly are and and I was like oh, that's kind of cool What and I didn't at the time know what are you Veda was which is ancient Indian medicine and? I asked her what is it and she told me and then I said oh, what's are you please explain and I was sincerely very Interesting and she said at that moment because she had been going on so many dates with other guys and stuff, where that was like something she had to like almost hide, you know, and when she did expose it to them, they were so kind of...

Judgment, probably. Sightly judging, her taking these, you know, like a capsule pill of turmeric, it sounds dumb. She's like, that's what I knew, you were different and special, and I was appealing to me. She's like, that's when I knew of you were different and special and I was appealing to me. She's this little moment.

I'm so sure I love it because I could totally see you guys being like, oh, yeah, you're heavy, but you are actually curious about people. And you are actually into health and fitness and life. And then that day, that night, I said, she was eating, we went back to her house and then I had to come to love line because you know It was a weeknight, and she was eating an orange and taking the peel off I was like what I wonder if you ate only the outside

Would you poop out your insides like who does it go vice versa, you know because like right if you ate an orange But would you yeah, and she's like what like this guy? What a weird you know, it talks about poop That was how the first thing on the first date you talk about poop because I listen here's my text of poop all the freaking time it's me in a nutshell yeah is I put a lot of effort and focus and thought into stupid stuff right like I'm not trying to solve the world's problems I'm thinking about what if you ate the outside of the world is exclusively right you were trying to prove out your inside totally I love it okay Okay, we gotta go.

Apparently, thanks, Mike Catharine, for being on the show. So I was a pleasure. So I was a pleasure. So Michael and everything. Mike Catharine. And Mike Catharine. And Mike Catharine. On both Twitter and Instagram.

And Instagram. And Instagram. Do that. Thank you for joining us. Thank you Anderson. And yeah, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily and I have to tell you that just today another friend said to me, Emily, I really want to start a website, I want to start a blog and I don't know how to do it. I'm like, okay people, how have you not heard of Weebly? It's so easy. People think the internet is like so overwhelming. Like you got to spend $20,000 on a website.

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