Sex With Emily - Ready, Willing and Anal With John Hill

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

On today’s show, I’m sitting down with John Hill of Radio Andy & The Feels on SiriusXM. We’re covering everything from cuffing season, to taking a break from sex during quarantine, to the suggestive app: Slutbot! We also cover a variety from anal and oral tips, so you can take a break from the chaos by amping up your game in the bedroom.We also dive deep into listener questions, like “what do you do if your partner gets soft during sex?” or “what are the best positions to prevent slippage?” Finally, we talk about how to spot scammers on dating apps—because how else are we meeting people these days?Check out John Hill on  InstagramFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I don't think it's about like mouth, breakneck, speed, face action. I think hand jobs are far underrated. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on days. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex.

Today I'm joined by John Hill, love and John's on the show, he co-hosts Andy Cohen Live Morning is on Radio and the End Series XM and he's the host of The Fields on Series XM. We get into a bunch of stuff, fun topics on the show we talk about, tips for anal and oral play, plus tips for talking dirty with your partner via the slut bot, one of my new favorite pastimes, and what do you do when slippage happens during sex? We also answer your calls and your questions. All right, intentions with Emily. The free show I want to set an intention for the show and I encourage you to do the same. So when you're listening, what do you want to get out of listening to this episode? How could it help you? I find it helps me when I really set intention before I do anything.

It could be, I just want to get better at oral sex. I think that's a great intention. Or maybe it's, I really want to try out anal play for the first time and I want to know what to do. My intention is to give you a different perspective on anal and oral from a guy who really knows what he's doing. All right, enjoy the show. You're popular. Oh, I hope you're popular. I hope people are. I love it. They do. We had a good show. Everyone. Today, would you guys talk about? Today on the fields, it was my birthday show because my birthday's tomorrow. So happy birthday. Thank you so much.

Didn't know. Okay. Well, thank you. This is like your birthday Eve. This you so much. Did it? No, okay, well thank you. This is like your birthday eve. This is so good, okay? That's right. And so, you know, I'm on the cusp. I'm a Scorpio Libra cusp. I'm on the day it switches. So I'm technically a Scorpio. And so that was kind of the theme of the show.

It's like birthday show. So let's talk about, I don't wanna like redo a theme, but no, I am, when you tomorrow, so you wake up tomorrow, you're a new age. 43. 43, okay? So how are you feeling about the year that's come by? And now you're birthday.

Any wishes for the new year? Wishes for the new year. I feel really good and positive and hopeful for the new year. I feel very glad that we're done. Yeah, I feel, for the first time, I feel very glad that we're done. Yeah, I feel for the first time, I'm not like, you know, I mean, for the reasons of courts that are obvious, like, fires and floods and politics and all that stuff and, you know, pandemics. But personally,

I feel like I kind of, I look back and was like, wow, I mean, like, you've lived kind of pap your life sort of. So you got, you know, now, you know, it's starting to join it. You know, like, you know, I was, I've always been kind of a stressor and somebody who felt anxiety and stuff like that. So I was like, you know, you might as well just start enjoying your life. Yeah, I felt that, I get it.

So how do you think you're gonna do that though? Cause I've had those thoughts too, but how do you just like say, okay, I'm gonna stop stressing. I didn't know you were particularly anxious. I am too, usually we can sniff each other out. Yeah, I avoid my anxiety and freaky outing that's by isolating.

So working from home has been good. So I liked working from home. I've been like, well, I can't, or I can't have to stay at home at work. But oddly enough, but now that I say that, I've realized I've connected with people more now that we've all had to isolate. Anyway, I feel like the next year, what, you know, back to your question of how I put into practice saying, hey, I'm going to be less anxious. I just take it step by step. Like, I won't avoid saying hello to the person who wants to, like, pet my dog.

Usually I like grab my dog and run. Don't bother me, don't talk to me. But it's like, all right, if they want to pet my dog, they can. I guess. But I don't. It's true though I get what you mean though. I'm the same. Part of me like this quarantine stuff, but then, but I'm avoidant too.

You're so funny. So I don't want to say it. I will let this person, I will count to ten and let this person pet my dog. Yes, exactly. I'll say what my neighbors, I won't like totally ignore them. And you know what, they're, I realized they're normal too. So that's like one little step. Those are good steps. Yeah. So I think it's going to be good. I feel good about 43. I don't really feel The number affects me at all and I'm like oh my god. I'm 43. I had hoped to accomplish Dot dot dot by the time I'm 43, but um, I feel Good about where I am and where I'm going

I feel like you're you had a good year. I mean well COVID so but I feel like you you found Love I'm gonna call it love. I mean, you you started dating somebody at the beginning of this quarantine, right? Ramon, and you met and then you you don't live together, but you see each other almost every day, every night or yeah. Yeah. We basically live together. Yeah. I mean, we immediately started isolating together. So we know what it's like to live together and we we did that really well. So that was a good barometer of like, oh, we could be boyfriend. You know, I'm really happy for you. That's because what I kept hearing

and I wanted to kind of put this out there today too, because there's sort of a second wave coughing season happening because the first we had a pre we had early coughing season this year with COVID. So, you know, coughing season is when you sort of you start attaching yourself to someone using the winter starting in October I think, September. Okay, here it is. During the fall and winter months, people who would normally rather be single are promiscuous. Find themselves along with the rest of the world, cough, or tie down by a serious relationship. But now, what I kept hearing is during COVID, people were doing it. I'm not saying you did that, but you did get together early. You kind of did. We absolutely did. Right? Studies came out that showed that breakups

increased double. They were like 60% of more than last year. But in this show, like if so many of our breakups didn't get together. And there's one people on the dating apps. I feel like a lot of our listeners are mostly calling in about like three sums in swapping and we could talk to Andrew 34 and Tennessee. Listen, let me just be for Andrew talks. John, I got to tell you when. Yeah, tell me. Andrew has had an interesting COVID. Well, some people here in California, whatever we've been quarantined and it's been tough. Andrew's got himself in a six-some situation, not like like three couples. And we've been quarantined and it's been tough. Andrew's got himself in a six-am situation, not like like three couples,

and we've been following him on his journey, navigating a six-am, because they're having a good time in Tennessee. Hi, Andrew. You're on with Emily and John Hill. Andrew, what, tell me everything? Hi, we think about you often. What's going on in your turn?

I know things are going great. Good. I just had some random question. So through all of this, I have noticed that we're having intercourse a lot more than what we normally would. And I'm just wondering, is there such thing as too much? Too much sex? Yeah. All together are different times. Is it all six at once? A lot of times, yes. How often is it happening?

Yeah, we've managed to get to where we were once a week all getting together. Now we have maybe one or two days apart a week. Are you all sleeping together at the same house every night? Five nights a week? Sometimes we spend the night, sometimes we stay with different partners, like we swap around a little bit. Okay, so here's my question for you, Andrew. Andrews had some concern.

Andrew's been through the ringer with this thing, but then he's, he's landed and things are good, but now we're worried. Why do you think, what are the consequences? Like this is when there's a problem with too much sex Andrew. Like when people are like, oh, I think I masturbate too much or probably, you know, is it too much sex by partner? It's when there's a consequence of there's a problem and you're like, oh, I can't actually get to work in the morning because my penis hurts or I no longer want to have sex anymore with my wife because there's so many other people around. So you tell me is there, is there, you know, how's your relationship?

Most importantly, everything's still good. I mean, I'm just wondering, like, is there, is there, you know, how's your relationship most importantly? Everything's still good. I mean, I'm just wondering, like, is there a brick wall that we're about to fly up on? Well, it may shift, you know, these things, they always shift. Even if, you know, a brick wall may seem like a brick wall, but it might just be, it might just be how you look at it, you know what I mean?

That's what I take. Is that sometimes, Exactly. Sometimes things seem like impossible, but they might be opportunities in a way. I mean, the other two couples, they're in their 40s. Okay. 40, 42, and I'm pretty sure we're starting to wear them out a little bit. Are you guys just showing up?

Are you making plans? We're all making plans and just following through with it for now. Andrew, why are you worried? Okay, so I have a question, Andrew, because let me tell you why I know about you. I know that you kind of worry about things because the first time that Andrew, you might not have answered, I recapped your thing here that he called it and he was worried about his penis size because the other guy's penis is, he thought, they were too pleasing and yours was smaller than they would like. But the other two guys in the six of them happened to be listening that night, John. Didn't know that they listened to each other.

No idea. And then he got off the phone and they called them. They're like, buddy, you're fine. We love your peanut. We love everything's great. We're having a good time. And then things have been great, right? Andrew, like then you've been going along and you said you felt more confident and you

weren't worried about it. But now we have a new concern. Are you feeling like you don't want to as much, but your wife's like, let's go. They got the condoms where, you know, we're going, you know what I'm saying? No, I'm ready to go. I think they're starting to flow down a little bit. Maybe then if you're getting that sense, trust your intuition, and what I would say, Andrew, since you're part of such a wonderfully communicative system, we know this.

Why don't you put that out to the group and say, hey, I want to make sure we're not overstaying our welcome here. Should we take a pause? Maybe we reconvene over the holidays. Have a little sexy Christmas. So you always say communication is the best. So yeah, communication.

What gives you the reason, though, like, did something happen? You know, like, did, or you're just getting the sense that you're wearing them out? That's it. I'm just getting that sense that it's happening because, well, they were like a weekend thing, and they'll, now it's a lot, and we're still young enough. Yeah, well, Andrew, if it's too much, they're going to tell you. But listen, I just think you've got to have a conversation with them. They'll tell you, you having sex with just you and your wife right now. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. All right. As long as you're connecting intimately and things are getting along and you're getting along, I think I feel okay with this, Andrew, but I would recommend that since you're worried about this stuff, I would have a real conversation with them and ask them. That's what makes the best way. The things that we think we can't say when we say it That's when we get the truth otherwise were we're delaying things were waiting till it's right. They're never gonna happen right now find out right now

It's under clip text. So true. I'll probably wait till everyone's back on Monday Okay, you have to do it tonight. You can do it Monday. You're good Andrew Send you lots of love take care of yourself. Okay. All right You're good, Andrew. We're sending you lots of love. Take care of yourself, okay? Uh, thanks. Bye, Andrew. Yeah, what do you think about that? What I wonder is about COVID is about

our people having sex. You know, I went to the doctor to get my physical a couple of days ago and he was just like, nothing has changed. Nobody should be like letting their guard down. It's like mass all the time, even mass stuff. I don't know. Like I thought I was expecting him to be like,

well, you can kind of chill a little bit, see some people for dinner or whatever. He was like, no. And so I mean, you know, one thing that I will say in this might be controversial, but gay guys specifically, and I'll say this because I am one. I was talking to my friend Ryan the other day, and I was like, are gay guys specifically, and I'll say this because I am one. I was talking to my friend Ryan the other day, and I was like,

are gay guys hooking up? Are they hooking up all the time? Are they having sex? Are they doing this on the grinder and stuff like that? And, you know, my boyfriend and I are monogamous. So I was asking him, I was asking my friend, what do you think about this? And he's like, yeah, he's like read between the lines

and see what's not being said. You know, a lot of the gay guys in WeHo are saying, oh my god, I'm so mad, I can't go with my haircut. I'm so mad, I can't go with my tattoo. I'm so mad, I can't do blah, blah, blah. But what they're not complaining about is about fucking. And so it leads you to maybe infer that possibly they're like, what's the infer? possibly they're like

one thing for. There's like, what the hell? And I know some people who are like, what the hell? They're like, I'm not gonna like, you know, so if you're negative, I'm negative, let's do it. And it's just a risky thing. It's really risky. You're so right. That's the way you read between lines.

You're absolutely right. And I don't know, I think it's the same thing. I don't think it's the same thing. Like I'm so mad, I really miss picking up, you know, no one's saying that. Oh right, because the people who really miss it went out and did it and the other people. You're right, people are doing it.

No, you're, and I think it's gay, straight everywhere. I think if you're somebody who is gonna date anywhere, you're looking for, you know, you can't be alone or dating online, I get it and a lot of people, I'm hearing that from some people. I feel like it's split into two camps. The people who are like, I'm still wearing a mask, I'm still wearing out and the people are like,

I'm gonna be careful, but I'm not giving up sex. Like I won't get my tattoo, I won't get my hair done, but I'm going to get fucked. Well, I know people who are like, I'm negative, they're negative, we're okay. And to be honest, I've done that, I mean, not sexually, but I've done that with friends. It's like, well, I've seen a friend.

It's like, we both know we're, you know, both negative or have, you know, like, not officially okay. It's not okay. It's really real. I mean, if you look at this middle states in America, like, there's still COVID is happening. It's raging. So we just have if you look at this middle states in America, like, there's still COVID is happening. It's raging. So we just have to hang out a little bit longer.

We're talking about the middle, the middle surge. But I just wonder what sexually, like, especially like a sick son, like Andrew who called in, like, what they discuss status that they discuss. Do they? Because I know, I think a lot of people don't care. I think they're like, well, I'm probably asymptomatic. Like, the most I'll get is like a little flu and then it's over. I'm willing to risk that to have sex.

And I don't not get that rationale. I don't think it's wise, but I think a lot of people say that. I think they're like, like our president just said, oh, it's not that big of a deal. I had it and it wasn't that bad. Forget it. Take your mask off. So like, because of his medical care, what he got,

but that is not realistic. Keep your getting it all the time every day. That is not a great message to send. I, you know, I wonder about like, you know, with a group like that, I wonder if that comes up. So I just wonder about the COVID of it all, but, you know, you guys, it's still happening. It's still going on.

I'm here with John Hill. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Let's talk to Elizabeth 21 in Vancouver. Hi Emily, how are you? I'm God, how are you? Thank you. I'm just asking how I'll tell you everything. I'm just calling because I've been with my boyfriend for about ten months. He's 26, I'm 21. And we're kind of on the stunt in the road where one

night all of a sudden he just kind of got soft before he was about to put it in. And that was fine. We got over it. But then it's been happening continuously. So I'd say every other time we try to have back he will get soft before he puts it in. So of course, this brings out insecurities, especially with a new relationship, you're like, this shouldn't be happening. So just some advice on how we can get over that. Yeah, Elizabeth, this is such a good question.

And such a very common question. First off, you have to hear me and believe me, it is not you. He is attracted to you. He wants to be there with you. He has the erection and then he loses the erection. And the best way to help him deal with this is first off to let him off the mic. I get it.

Like let's just keep going. Go down on me for a minute. What I found that works with men who experienced that, what exactly were you talking about? He gets turned on at first, right? You're saying he's hard, and then he's not. Okay. What you could do is just let him talk about it outside. Have you guys talked about it before outside the bedroom?

Not outside the bedroom. I know I didn't take your advice, but not outside the bedroom. Okay, Liz a bit. This isn't outside the bedroom because he, believe me, he's so nervous to have sex with you every time, because I bet a fucking get hard, this better happen, and you're like a better happen. And it's like literally, it's like the not erect elephant in the room. It's the same thing I always say when you're hanging out and saying, you could have an

honest conversation, be honest and say, say, I feel like it's me, but I have a feeling that's on it and I'll be like, no, I don't know why either. And then you could come up with a plan because what he could do in those moments what I've found that works for many men is that they just distract, they literally he gets soft

and then he goes down on you or you go back to making out. And once he takes his mind off of his erection, and then you get back into the moment, it comes back. So if he, because he's worried and you're worried, and so if you just kind of take the power out of it, because I'm sure he's worried. And I'm telling you, this is not what happens when men,

even if this is when men in their 20s, if he's not attracted to you, because that's what you're worried about, right? I'm not doing it right. He doesn't think I'm sexy. It's 26-year-old man. It's not going to be naked with you in the bedroom time and time again for 10 months if he is not attracted to you. It doesn't switch on a dot like that. It's not, it's not reality. And so mostly for men, this happens. It's really frustrating and they don't understand why. Now, there's a few reasons also I want to tell you this, it's been interesting, Elizabeth, I got to tell you.

In the last five to eight years, I would say, that I'm hearing from more and more men under the age of 40, who are experiencing exactly what you're saying. It used to be men over 40 because they lose testosterone and their penises just don't get as a wreck, not all men, but some men. But there's this crazy phenomenon now,

and it's changing. There's a lot of different theories. Why? I think some of it could be anxiety. It happened once, and there I go. I've built a new habit. It could be porn. It could just be that he mastermates a lot of a partner,

and that I found that for some men, they have this grip, and they're used to, but this is mostly actually for men who can't come, but that could be another thing. They masturbate so much that being with a human is actually like a bizarre experience because they're not used to it or the grip on their penis is different,

it feels different than being with somebody. It could be they grew up in a religious household and they're afraid of somebody finding them or that you're gonna get pregnant because maybe you gotta grow a girlfriend pregnant once. I mean, there's a lot of different things. I don't know. A history of being in over, you know, he wants to always get an A and perform and, you know,

just anxiety that's pervasive in all areas of his life. It could be medications that he's on. I mean, these have always existed. But the thing that I'm seeing with younger men is interesting and I don't have a conclusive reason. But what I'm telling you is I'm hearing it a lot more often. And so, and you like this guy, right? It's been 10 months. Oh, yeah, for sure.

And our sex flight is great. It's just, he has told me that it does give him anxiety, and it's, he's freaking out. And then I'm freaking out, and I get frustrated. Yeah, of course. So I think it would always been in the bedroom. Yes, let's take it outside the bedroom, have a glass of wine, go to dinner, do something, and say, I know we haven't talked about this, and this is really a nervous. Be yourself Elizabeth. Be the brave Elizabeth who just called into my show to talk to me about it,

and say, I know that we both have anxiety around this, and I want to talk about it when we're not actually in the bedroom, and let's just talk about it. Has it happened before? What do you think it is? I've had concerns that you don't think I'm attractive, but I know that our sex life is awesome, so that can't be it. And just talk about a plan together. I mean, do you have pleasure? Does he go down on you?

Do you have orgasms? No, see, that's another thing is I'm not a big, I don't like when men go down on me, and I don't know if it's maybe just that I've had shitty experiences and just shitty head in my past days, but I'm never, again, I'm always thinking about him, him, him, especially with the situation. I'm never thinking about myself.

Okay, well, now we're getting to the good stuff here. Elizabeth, it is the hardest thing in the world is a woman who knows her body and what feels good. And let me tell you this, you have had shitty head, you're 21 years old. I'm telling you that all the time you've had till now, if they're with men your age, it hasn't been of a man who's more experienced at all. I mean, maybe someone at 21 could magically be great because they had a girlfriend for three years and they spend a lot of time on it.

He started having sex when he was younger, but with the majority of it, this is a skill that you develop over time. And so how about your masturbation practice? What's that like? Yeah, that's fine. And I've been more into introducing toys, like trying to.

But yeah, I mean, I have been with older men. I think it's just one time I had to sit head. And I just, every time I just think it's so awkward. And I'm like, oh, you know what? And I don't even bother, even though, and I can get other ways for me to orgasm. And maybe it's not head. I don't know.

He wants to try that. He always does want to try, but I'm always like, no, no, no. But then I've also listened like, yeah, like your flavored Loube, I feel like that might help me feel more comfortable and confident. Yes, absolutely. In fact I just I have it all I just use it the other night with a partner.

I was like oh I haven't used the Crem Boulin while it is delicious. Like I use it on him and use it on me. It is delicious and the mint chocolate. So try out favorite Loub but I'm also hearing that there's some insecurities about how you might taste or if your

partner really wants to go down on you. Yeah exactly and I think that's okay from like when I was just younger and again like the about how you might taste or if your partner really wants to go down on you. Yeah, exactly. And I think that's from when I was just younger. And again, not having proper head and being with men that were not men, right? Right. Boys. So, yeah, and this is such a great learning experience.

So this is, and I would also just say that to him. I'd say, I thought, you could also do some mutual masturbation where you are, he's masturbating in your masturbating. So you're seeing how he touches himself and you're pleasing yourself and then you get to have an orgasm in front of him. You can bring your toy, you can show him what you like. And since you are so focused on his pleasure, he doesn't want that either.

Because now he's worried about his direction and you're worried about his direction. Who's worrying about Elizabeth? Yeah. That's worried about his direction and you're worried about his direction. Who's worrying about Elizabeth? Yeah. That's worry about Elizabeth. You know, that's a good point. Yeah, no, that's a good point, actually. And maybe that would take away so much off of him. Yeah, I think it will.

I think absolutely. Why not find out if it's just things, if he's just worried that he's like, oh, shit, it's going to happen again. Elizabeth's going to leave me. So if you just say, you know what, no pressure, you get hard, you don't get hard, but I'm gonna get off or I wanna play with myself. Or let me show you what I like.

Or in the past, I've had bad head. And let's go slow with it. Is it okay if I tell you what I like? Is it okay if you go really, really so we shower together first? Be honest with them, because doesn't, he's learning too. And I know he's 26 and that seems a lot, which it is a lot older than you, but that still might not mean he's had so many partners and he's incredible with oral. And the other thing is, you know what makes the guy really great at oral? It's about someone who pays

attention, like someone who is willing to realize that every time he's with a new woman, it's a new, it's a new vulva, it's a new and he's willing to sort of pay attention to your body, you know, it feels good and then and that you're able to communicate with him. So let's figure out what this guy, what happens? Can you do it? Yeah, yeah, no, and he has expressed that. So that maybe taking the attention off him, I think that would actually be very, very

important. I think the reason why it's so, man. Yes, absolutely. You'll be calling it. It'll be something that, because right now it's the thing that no one's saying, and that makes it so much bigger, and it's so much more painful when it's that elephant in the room that no one's talking about. And so if you dress it, then you get to really be present with each other without both of

you being in your head. And this way you can be in your bodies. And that's such a healthier way to live and have success. Not sure. You're still learning too. Let me know how it goes on this list. Yeah. Yeah, it might be nervous, but okay, good.

Keep it posted. I'll be here. Good to hear from you. Thanks a lot, Elizabeth. Have a good night, you too. Let's talk to Jamie 29, California. Hi Jamie. Hi, my name is Emily. Hi, Sean. How are you? Hey Jamie. So excited. We all have a phone with you. Oh my god. Love you, Dr. Emily. Love your birth control episode last week.

That was really, really great. So good. I had a question about I love that episode. It was really helpful. I had a question about positions. I have a new partner and he's really excited to do like, don't you style and reverse cowgirl and it just does not work for me. Not pleasure wise but like the actual anatomy and the physical part of it, it never works. It either gets like too weird or too sweaty and it just doesn't stick right so I wanted to ask her and buy it. Yeah, all really, no, these are, these are, it's a great question. So where do you want to start?

Which one? Because they're different. You said, doggy style. And what was the other one? The first cow girl. The first cow girl. Oh, yeah. Okay, so doggy style, you don't have to be up and all four.

It's like, you could be on your stomach, you know? You could be lying flat. People think it's so literally, you know? They have to be on your stomach, you know? You could be lying flat. People think it's so literally, you know? They have to be on all fours. But you could lie flat. You could use pillows to elevate your thighs. You know what I'm saying? If you're on the, I'm assuming you're on the bottom.

You could do it all, you know, another great workaround. And maybe John can't wait this too, but on the edge of the bed. So you could be lying on the edge of the bed with your hands and then your partner could come behind Would that work? Yeah, that's one of my favorite workarounds for Doggy style and also like the flat you have to be totally flat that part of it

You could also elevate yourself Even just like you could have your butt in the air, but you're your're flat. You know what I'm saying? Your front, your arms are flat. Right. So is that helpful? Just flip out. Yeah. But he made a lot of mistakes out of like, why isn't it yeah. You got to get his legs closer to your torso. Like he's got to get like, you know how like you have the inside or outside. You got to kind, you know how you have the knees inside or outside? You got to kind of sometimes split the difference. And other times, he's got to maybe get, he might just have to do it in a squat, which is kind of harder on the knees.

But he might have to, so that you know what I mean? If he's squatting and his like, you just, can you get the picture? Like his knees aren't on the bed, his feet are on the bed, and he's in you, and his knees are like up by your feet. But yeah. Oh, I see.

Okay, okay, so on the outside of me though, but the knee is folded by my hand. Exactly. Yeah. So the knee are right. Yeah. And another thing that if you slip out is you could also put your legs together. And you know, if you are lying flat, you know, you could say.

Same goes for you for reverse cowgirl, though. Like, like if you, you're sitting on him with your knees on the bed and your legs on the bed, there's not a lot of places to go. So if you get up on your feet, so you're moving up and down on him, can you picture that? So like squatting, like me.

Yeah, you're squatting on him. You're squatting on him. You could also be leaning. You could also lay back on him and just pull yourself up and down, you know? Like you're sliding, I know it's, explaining positions can be hard. I had this thing,

yeah, you're lying, you're lying back, I'm like trying to do it here, you're lying back on him and then you're flat, right? You are, your back is flat to his chest and you're sliding back and forth. Yeah, and that way you could also be squeezing your legs together too.

And rubbing your clippers, here's the thing. Remember, don't forget to stimulate yourself, use a toy. Oh, you know what else you could use. There's something else that would be great. There's something called the Doggy Style Strap. And it is from sport sheets. I think we have in our website, we can put put in the show notes at sex with only dot com slash show notes

and it's cool it's a positioning strap so he can put it around your stomach and like kind of hold you and pull you into him or so like you don't flip out any position you as a key steering her to go to the stomach yeah i think that's where it goes with your stomach or your thighs you can play with it just thought about that little hack. Very cool. Oh wow, thank you all so much. That's really helpful.

I'll have to try it out. Of course. Let us know how it goes, okay? You can call back. You know, thanks, Dr. Emily, if I don't. Of course. Thanks, thanks, Jimmy. Good luck.

Yeah, you know what I'm realizing? I was on this show today. Do you know what? They'll call her daddy. It's a podcast. No. Yeah, her name's Alex, and she's's a podcast and it's a really popular podcast. She talks about sex.

But today we are to I should circle back. You don't I want to ask you this because I don't know. First off in the 15 years I've been doing this and people asked me to describe position. Sometimes it's harder on the radio to be like, well, you do very specific. Like to me just now thinking like lay, your back is to his chest. It's just visually, it's hard for me to not just explain it visually, but then I was doing it today.

It was like a position episode, but I actually, I have to ask your vice about something about anal, about describing it, John. Okay. So we're talking mostly to heterosexual couples, right? She had a lot of questions from her listeners, and it was about the first time she uses her finger in her straight, boyfriends' ass, just a finger. But let's say it's the

first time you're with somebody, and I just explained the positioning when you're giving a blow job. I was trying to explain the best way to put your finger in someone's anus after you've consented that they're into that. And I was trying to explain it, and I was trying to explain the best way to put your finger in someone's anus after you've consented that they're into that. And I was trying to explain it and I was like, usually I don't stumble, but I couldn't, I was like, well, if you're giving a blowjob and you're lying on your back and then make you know, you could. I'm on your back giving a blowjob.

Oh. He's on his back and I'm giving a blow. I'm between his legs. Oh, all right. And you're being explained and he has a dick and he's on his back. Yes, he giving a blow. I'm between his legs. Oh, all right. And you're being so... And he has a dick and he's on his back. Yes, his dick. Okay.

He does a dick. He's on his back and he has a dick. And we've never, and it's the first time he's had a, she's like, what's the best position if you've never had a finger before? You've never had any any play. Or maybe it's even a butt-pug, but let's for this purpose, it's a finger.

And I was trying to explain how he lives up and then you could just kind of put your finger inside, but we got very technical. I don't want to explain why it was so very technical. I don't think you have, I think, the main thing is, go with the flow. It's a play-tale.

I think you have to be in the legs. And I think middle finger, don't worry about which finger it is, Always go with the middle. Because you can control more. You can't control anything with like a ring finger or a pinky or a thumb. True. Maybe a four finger, but always go with the middle finger. Middle stabilizes it as well, but also it's mostly about and it doesn't have to go in very far. That's the most important part. And suck it, when you're sucking it and it's super wet, then your fingers wet, then you

just kind of like go around, and then it just kind of goes in a little bit. And I think it can just go in a tiny bit and it's like, you motion, come here. Come here, you mentioned, come here, but you don't go in. She was like, well, do you go in and out like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no As long as you keep sucking it, nothing else matters about the ass because it's just going to help it out. But just leave it in there. A little bit don't stick it in. That's going to remind him of the doctor.

Exactly. As long as the dick is being sucked, it doesn't really matter. Just keep going. But the guy was squeamish about anal play so you don't want to go to aggressively either. Would you say sub harder? If you're sucking their dick hard enough, they won't care what you're doing to our anal play. I really care.

Yeah, just like, then say like, I'm going to put my finger in your ass a little bit and then just keep giving the greatest blowjob ever. And then you're good to go. Can you tell me real quickly, too, John? Is there a certain go-to blowjob sex move that you have? What is the best blowjob ever? And is it different for everybody? It's different for everybody, but I think hand is very important.

Hand-packed. I don't think it's about mouth, break, speed, face action. I think there's nothing, I think hand jobs are far underrated. Highly underrated. So I think a hand job with like a little, you know, mouth is nice, but like, jack it off. Jack it off and like suck the tail, like the tail. When your fingers up the shaft.

When your fingers up the stick, yeah, you're busy. There's a lot going on. Hopefully you can multitask. Walking to gum, suck a dick. There's a lot to figure out. You have your jaw break and just like, stroke it, lick it. Doesn't be break next speed. You don't have to choke yourself.

You have to do that. Yeah, unless that does something for him emotionally, it makes him feel like, oh, my dick is so big, it's choking you. Then pretend to do that, which is like we've all done. And then, you know? Right, we've all done that, but I don't think it's, what we're saying is it's not necessary

because the tip and the formula are the most sensitive parts. So if you're your mouth on the tip and you're licking around, it's good. I mean, I think shaft is quite important as well. With your hands, though, we could take it over the hands. You don't have to have like a... Exactly.

This is a good chat. More dating and relationship advice after this break. Thank you for supporting our sponsors. We love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I hope you do too. I love them. I something called slut bot. And every Thursday, I get a text from the slut bot asking me if I want to play, do I want something dirty, do I want something spicy. But when you start with slut bot back up, you say, I'm a woman, I'm interested in men, I'm a male, I'm interested in men. You can do any gender, anything you're interested in.

And then you just answer a question and then it's trying to get me to a hotel room right now with a, you know, a Butt plug and a necktie and it's telling me what to do when I get there And so you could also do this with a partner it gives you inspiration Like sometimes I'll just look down and they'll say hey babe. I'd like to take some time to focus on you How does that sound? And then you answer it but these I actually gonna be honest I ignored the the slap on the last few weeks cause I was just really busy.

But today I said yes, and now. You said slap on? Yeah, I did. Just like all the advice I tell everybody here, you can't be a passive data if you actually want a relationship. And I'm the kind of person I have to go all in. I have to be, I can't casually go on an app and then swipe and then I match

with three people and then I don't go back to it. It's like and then talk about not dating, especially right now. I'm not meeting people in the series XM elevators or whatever. That's not happening anymore. We're not out. And so if I actually want that, I know what it takes for someone like me, like it will be an effort. I'll have to have my assistant be on my schedule saying like right now you're going to swipe for an hour and you're going to mess if that happens or just follow up with people that I actually like that I have in a time for or you know respond to slap bot. Things like that. I didn't even time for slap bot. You know that I don't have time for dating right now. But January 1st it's on which will be a good time. Okay, let's talk to Rick and New Hampshire

speaking of dating apps. Rick wants to know about the dating apps. We're here to help. Hey, Rick, what's going on? How can we help you? Well, over the weekend I joined the Filipino dating site because I think age in a woman beautiful. And I get a lot of quick responses. And a lot of them are actually already located in the United States, which is fine. But what I'm finding out is these people that I'm meeting, they don't mind going on the Google Hangs, which they all want to go on there, that way, because it's easy to chat and everything. But once you start talking to them, they start wanting to know your income level.

And then once you start getting further, they start telling you that they love you, they want to move in with you. When can I in with you When can I come with you be with you it's like I'm 57 and it's like I haven't been on a dating site in a long time Is this a new norm for dating sites? No, I'm so glad you called into sex with Emily because it's it's not it depends I think on the dating apps that you go to and because it's not. It depends, I think, on the dating apps that you go to. And they're all different. Here's the thing. There's a dating app. There's a farmer's dating app. There's a dating app for people who have STDs. There's a dating app for people who like to surf. There's dating apps for

everything. So I'm curious what dating app you're on. It's a Filipino date. Because you like Filipino women. So I could see why that would be it feels like a shortcut. But if that's your experience, that it sounds like it's one of those apps that's arranged for women to find a husband and- Yeah, for me, can I just say? Please. I just want to plug TLC's show 90 Day Fiancé.

And this happens every single episode. This and it's all websites where, you know, the women are like, I love you. And they start a relationship immediately online and they kind of, and vice versa, men as well. But it's exactly what you just described and that's how it kind of starts. And sometimes there's real love involved

but a lot of times it's about a green card. Yeah, it's about a green card. Well, so I'm talking to Noah, one's in New Jersey and one's in Illinois and one of the states. The thing that throws me worried when the one in Arizona, she's already basically kind of hit me up money. No. No, I say no. Yeah, I'm honest. No. Yeah, it might be a... No, can you...

What about finding someone local in New Hampshire or in your buy? Or meet them first. If you like them, give them all your money. Fine, but like, not before you meet them. Well, the thing is, like, on Google Hangouts, you can do, like, little videos. So I sent out a field that everyone to send me a little video, try to match it up with the picture that they actually have posted online and two out of three have and

they've actually the exact person. So those are two I'm basically chatting with now. But what about like something like Bble or tinder or hinge? There's a lot of other mainstream apps that you could say your preference is Filipino or you can say that. You can say that. You know, I think this app is set up for primarily the women that are you're going to find in this app. I don't think it's that they're going to be catfishing it.

They're not going to be lying to you who they are. I think it's more about their agenda for joining this Filipino dating app is to find a, is likely to find a husband to pay for that, our partner. Yeah. That's going to be, that's what they're going to lead with. So if you're really looking for a mutually beneficial relationship or somebody who isn't looking for money, you might want to try a dinder. You're all ready.

Yeah. So. Give it a shot dinder. You're ready. Yeah, so- Give it a shot. Okay, good Rick, I would be careful. It doesn't sound like it's driving with you, you know, just go slow. All right, I appreciate it. Listen to me. Okay, thanks Rick, I appreciate it. Thanks for calling.

Good luck. Good luck. Meet the person. Okay. Give your money away. None of it. Everyone's out of a job. People are trying to take other people's money.

Thank you. Thank you for saying that. I haven't had this. I couldn't tell if he, you don't know. Like 90 days fiance, I saw one season, trying to watch more TV. It's like sometimes it works, but it's not.

It's typically not good, right? Can we say that? Not good. Great television, but no. Great television, but it's not. You're just yelling at the TV the whole time going, and the problem is, and Rick sounds like he might have just stumbled into the wrong place. That's what I was trying to understand, right?

Right. He says like a great person, by the way. A lot of the people on 90-day fiancee are great people. The point of it is. What happens? Tell me, you love it. Tell me. You see that.

People want to connect. People want to be married. People don't want to be alone. And they're willing to bend all sorts of logic. Like, well, I saw them on Google, hang out, and they look pretty cool and nice. Like, that's not enough. So, and I'm cool if people want to say I'm an asshole. But like, meet the person, give nobody any money. Like, don't trust anybody. And so, I'm so sorry to say that, but like, meet the person, give nobody any money. Like, don't trust anybody.

And like, I'm so sorry to say that, but like, don't tell you. You are not being in it. This is very helpful information. You should definitely meet somebody in person. And here's the other thing that's been happening is that during COVID, I feel like there's a lot of people I've been over here in conversations. I've had friends coming back. I'm in love and they tell me, like, well, back up, you haven't met yet.

But no, but we talk every night. I'm like, you gotta meet in person. But then these sites, it just takes another step further. You're right, meet the person. Take what's the rush? Better be alone than have all your money taken. Exactly. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

My God, that's another show. Oh, financial, what's about financial domination? Yes, oh My God, that's another show. Oh, financial. What's about financial domination? Yes, oh my God, it's so sad. That's a whole trend right now too. Findom, financial domination. Yep, that's it. Oh my God, this is so fun, John. I love seeing you, John Hill.

Everyone take out John Hill on Andy Cone Live and the show of the feels Thursdays. You can also follow him on Instagram at John Arthur Hill. Alright, that's it for today's episode. I'll see you on Tuesday. And thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, give us a review, you know reviews help us. And also, if this show helped you in any way, you learned something, right now just send it to a partner, a friend, a lover. We all need to learn, right?

We're all in this together. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at SexWithEmily. Oh, inside of my newsletter, people tell me I give really good newsletter. Sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, we've got so many great blogs. If you'd like to talk to me about your sex life, dating, relationships, just message me on Instagram or call in to my serious XM show Monday through Friday, 5-7pm Pacific. You can call me there, triple 8-947-8277. Get a free 30-day trial at sexwithemily.com slash SXM.

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