Sex With Emily - Relationship Recovery: How to Survive a Breakup

Episode Date: July 6, 2016

You may recall my relationship spring cleaning show from earlier this year, about knowing when it’s time to call it quits. Well today’s podcast is all about what comes after the breakup! Emily pro...vides some rock solid tips to help you ease back into the single life, and shares some interesting uncoupling facts. Which gender is most likely to do the dumping? And what’s the average recovery time for a broken heart? Also, Emily and Anderson reminisce over their Loveline days, respond to your emails on clingy partners and female ejaculation, and weigh in on a study that reveals the real defining factor for why a guy chooses to wear a condom. Whether you’re unsure if you’ve found that elusive g-spot orgasm, want to spend more time with your lover without being clingy, or you’re having trouble adjusting to life post-breakup, this show is chock full of advice to help you with your dating dilemmas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, we're giving you the best tips to get you through your break up, from the sweatpants phase to easing back into the dating scene. We're sharing our expertise to help you come back from heartache even stronger. Thanks for listening. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪
Starting point is 00:00:17 Since I began telling you all about the womanizer, I've received countless messages from listeners telling me about how much they love this revolutionary product. I couldn't agree more. they love this revolutionary product. I couldn't agree more. I love my womanizer. We've made a short film about it, so you gotta check it out at sexwithemily.com. Unlike traditional vibrators, the womanizer uses patented, pleasure-air technology to indirectly
Starting point is 00:00:37 stimulate your clitoris with waves of air pressure and suction. Has a soft silicone cylinder that you place over your clitoris, just like your partner might use their mouth, if you're lucky. It's multiple settings make it easy to find the exact amount of pressure that's right for you. The sensation is so intense that many users found they can reach orgasm in one minute. That's a 60 second orgasm. Well, somehow the womanizer's engineers have found a way to improve a pound of original model. The latest versions, the W500 Pro and Deluxe, are smaller and quieter than ever before. There are now eight settings. It's amazing. And a new ergonomic design that will really help you find your sweet spot.
Starting point is 00:01:18 So come on, no excuses guys and girls. It's time to get your womanizer. You can see all the amazing womanizer models at womanizershop.com, or by clicking on the womanizer banner on my website. Thanks for listening. [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in 5-6 Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute
Starting point is 00:01:52 The girls got a hair stand, oh my The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm gonna feel so drunk
Starting point is 00:02:04 Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. We're, okay, here's what you gotta do. First thing, would love if you subscribed to the podcast. I know you listen all the time, we did two shows a week, but subscribing just really, really helps us.
Starting point is 00:02:38 So that would be amazing. And while you're there, you can sign up for the newsletter. I know you all like the newsletters and we send them to you. And you appreciate them because you all read them. Thank you and fall in the social media. Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook. It's all at sex with Emily. And we've got some great pictures up there.
Starting point is 00:02:58 I have to say on Instagram, there was a bikini shot. I'm here with Anderson. Anderson. What's up, Emma? I'm so excited to see you. It's unnatural. She was very excited. I pulled up to the parking lot and I was walking down the long corridor to get to the
Starting point is 00:03:12 lovely new sex with Emily Stuyos over here. And she rushed out to see me and immediately crouched down and hugged Stanley. Well, I know. Is that weird? I was very, very plan B, but that's fine. I'm fine. I wouldn't have even notice it, but you brought attention to it. Well, because I was like, is it weird to I hug Anderson first, but you brought Stanley and you didn't have to.
Starting point is 00:03:28 Stan is way more huggable, and yeah, I don't blame you. I would hug Stanley before me every time too, but. And you're pretty huggable. Hey, it's good to see you. You too. It's been a long time. It's been what? Six weeks.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Six weeks, which is like the longest we've ever gone. You were the thing, and I can see this without any shred of dishonesty, all my years on Loveline and it's gone now. I worked there five nights a week for 17 years and I don't miss Loveline, which is odd. I thought I would. I do miss some of the people I work with, you number one.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I miss you more than I miss Drew. That's really kind. I miss you way more than I miss those guests. The guests. The guests. The guests. They were kind of tapering out at the end. It was kind of like not a little guest.
Starting point is 00:04:11 I would see, I would see the calendar and I'd see guests were coming on. I mean, I don't, I dread that night. But just annoying. Working with celebrities just could suck sometimes. Exactly. And there was a high maintenance. And then whenever they come with their people,
Starting point is 00:04:22 it's like, what do you do with the people? Would you like any coffee or water? Or just say, I hate it. There was never anyone there to then whenever they come with her people, it's like, what do you do with the people? What do you like any cuff, your water? It's just, I hate it. There was never anyone there to really totally help them with that. But so you don't miss that 17 years of your life. So what have you been doing? I have been finally having the time to not only spend time with my wife who was very pregnant now, which is great.
Starting point is 00:04:39 How pregnant is she? She is six months pregnant. Wow. Tomorrow she'll be 26 weeks. That's crazy. And I've gotten over a fear because I had this really irrational fear. People have irrational fears, right? Yes. One of my biggest irrational fears, which came up a lot when I was up at camp.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I do that camp for the oncology camp, the kids with cancer camp every single summer. And we have pregnant ladies up there sometimes. We have pregnant like volunteer nurses, pregnant counselors. And I hated being around them in close quarters because I had this irrational fear that I was going to hit their stomach really hard by a mistake. Oh, and then what happened and they'd like lose the baby. Because I'm like a big guy and I'm clumsy and I'm like a bull in a china shop and I was
Starting point is 00:05:14 terrified that I would like smack the stomachs. They pro true. It's hard to get around them sometimes. And I am I'm happy to say that I've passed that fear. I'm over it. Right. Because you like touch your stomach. I'm around Jillian all the time, and I'm not worried about smashing our baby. I did not know you had this recipe. I think it's, I think it's rare.
Starting point is 00:05:30 You know you're having a girl or boy? It's a boy. Yeah. Oh my God, this is exciting. A little Anderson. It's going to be a small Anderson, yes. Will you bring the baby on the show and stuff? That'd be weird.
Starting point is 00:05:40 Call the deal, those around and whatnot. Dude, he wouldn't know he just suck on them. It'd be fine. He would just suck on them. That's be fine. He would just suck on them. Mm-hmm. That's really crazy. He starts crying. Put this in your mouth.
Starting point is 00:05:50 Well, he probably works that way. He's not going to swallow it. If you had a kid, I would imagine that it would be dick pacifiers all day. Do we have dick? No, that'd be inappropriate. What if I could? And then if I could became gay, you would think
Starting point is 00:06:02 that it was because of the dick pacifier. Exactly. And then the people would vote photos. They'd go, mean, yeah. Or if it was a girl and she became a lesbian, you would think that it was because of the dick passable. Exactly, and then the people, photos, the Thelvian. Or if it was a girl, and she became a lesbian, you would think it was because she had a fear of penises because they're forced upon her early. That's not a wrong, I'm sorry. That is wrong, I don't force penises upon everybody.
Starting point is 00:06:15 Anybody. What are we talking about today? God, well, I have to say that we saved this topic for you because, do you remember a few months ago, we did a, how to know when it's time to break up with your partner? Well, this is the show that we're doing today is how to get over on my partner.
Starting point is 00:06:29 How to get over it? Yeah, and you might hear something really interesting, I just remembered, so I was out the other night. I was at this cool new club called the Doheny Club. I'm sorry, it's like an LA, whatever. You were a smack in the dab in the middle of Hollywood out here. Right, and there was this guy that was really cute,
Starting point is 00:06:44 and he was talking to me for a while. And I kind of have known him and I came out of the bath. I kind of lost him for a second. I ran until I was happy. I was like, oh, you know, he's cute. What are you doing? I went to the bathroom. I was ahead a few cocktails. I go to the bathroom and I come out and he's talking to this girl. And I see him talking to this girl and she's hot.
Starting point is 00:07:00 What's she hot of? Yeah. I don't think about that. Yeah, you do. You're a woman. I really don't. I think no. I think about that. I don't because you're a dude. Oh, you were there's a guy. I'll like survey a room. I'm like, all right, who's got more alert than me, at least back in the day when I was in my, you know, in the game still. Wait, you're so cute, though. I guess I, I mean, yes, she was probably, I don't know. She was younger. The answer is no. I'm sure she was. No, she was not. However, she was like, you could see and he was into her. I'm like, oh, so I walk past together the bathroom
Starting point is 00:07:29 and like, I'm trying to avoid because I don't want to think I'm like stalking him. And all of a sudden, he goes, hey. And then he goes, oh, and he turns to her. And he says, before he introduced me, she was, oh. And she freaks out. She was like, that is powerful. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:07:42 And she starts freaking out. And she says, I'm a huge fan. I love your show. And I have to tell you that breakup show you did. I listened to it. And I decided to break up with my boyfriend. And it was like the best thing I ever did. Thank you so much. And she was like, fawning all over. And he looked at me and he goes, Oh, like people know your show. I was like, I guess so. But you know that doesn't happen. And then you went home with her, right? No, I went home with him. But that's all that power move. You're like, whatever fan I'm going to take your men now. Yeah, no, but it was funny. So I was like, Oh my God, that never ever. It's and it was the break up show you were on.
Starting point is 00:08:17 She's like, thank you so much. I've been listening. It was very, very funny. Are you hot in here, right? Yeah, helping people break up to the best, isn't it? Yeah, well, you know, that's what we talked about, because it was like, I think that a lot of time, well, you guys should go back and listen to what I don't remember what it was called, but you could go back and listen to that show because obviously it helps you, but there's a lot of times we just get stuck
Starting point is 00:08:34 and we talked about like setting a deadline, are you, you know, like looking at it now, where do you want it to be? And we gave good advice. And it's tough to break up with people. So that's what you're gonna be talking about today. Exactly, that's what we're talking about. I can tell you too that I used to be an insane person
Starting point is 00:08:46 and I had a really hard time. I'm a very sentimental person and I have a very, very hard time breaking up with people, making things in because I hate change and I hate the idea of saying goodbye to someone forever. And so I have had really, really tough time, numerous times saying goodbye and finishing things.
Starting point is 00:09:01 So usually it was done to me. I would wait till it was done to me. Well, you're like most men because that's what our studies show is that you know, when it comes to divorces, 69% of women initiate forces. 69. That wasn't just for our shows purposes. I promise. It wasn't 68 and you rounded up. No, it was 69. We're going to get to that in a minute, but that you said I really want to talk about this. So we'll get into that in a second. But first, we could do some sex in the news. Sex in the news has been so long. I'm so to talk about this. So we'll get into that in a second, but first we could do some sex in the news. Sex in the news, that's been so long, Em.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I'm so excited. I know you do 18 podcasts, but this, okay, it feels like 18. But this, I actually have some fun stuff to plug too. Considering the fact that I'm not doing a lot more. I have some fun stuff that I've actually, since I've had time.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Would you like to take a break before we get into this and tell us real quick? Yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to, I want to put up the sex in the news for my stupid plug. So let's go. Let's do sex. Let's do it. Okay, fine. We got to get back to it though. Men don't care about condoms if she's hot enough. I yeah. I'd never go for bad for a man's and general intelligence when it comes to anything regarding sex and physical gratification. I'm still amazed by just how willingly dumb we all are the damn time. Me included. Well, this is written by a man. Case in point, a new study
Starting point is 00:10:08 says that researchers in Britain found that the primary motivate primary primary motivation for men when it comes to wearing a condom is whether the girl they're with is hot, not whether or not she has an STD. Like, if she's hot, Mendoora condom, regardless of what risks are exposed to them. So they did a study, 51 heterosexual men between the ages of 19 and 61, and they said the more attractive woman seemed each participant to lower their intention
Starting point is 00:10:38 to use a condom during sex, even if the woman seemed to have a relatively higher risk risk of an STI. I don't know how they would know that. But so the higher the rating, they're more interested having sex with her. But this goes against a study that we just found that asked 2,000 people from Europe and the US. They said that men's number one greatest fear was that their partner would have an STI.
Starting point is 00:11:00 And number three was that there would be an unintended pregnancy. So men are just full of contradictions. Yes. But do you think that's true? Do you think it's more like, this is going so well, and she's so hot and God, you know, is it, do you think of these guys in their mind are going, well, if I have a baby, at least she'll be hot,
Starting point is 00:11:15 because this girl's hot, or they're just like, I don't want to mess this up by putting the condom on, because what's going on in the meantime? I don't think the baby actually ever comes into the equation. Where is it? She's just hot and I don't want to stop, because she might say no. Yeah, I think that if she's so, I think that okay,
Starting point is 00:11:27 if there's the sound so wrong, but if a guy is settling at the end of the night and he's going home with somebody who is not hotter, he's taking somebody home or he's going to bed somebody who is below his standards, perhaps he's thinking, all right, she's going to get the job done. And I'm going to use her for sex and I should probably be protecting myself because she may have been used by other people as well. Really?
Starting point is 00:11:48 Have you had these thoughts? No, I'm just from talking to guys and then if it's actually happening and it's a really hot girl, maybe a girl above his number, yeah, like what you said, I think that they're afraid of any kind of an eruption might not like a lot of the time what's going through a guy's head is like, I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe we're going to a round second guys head is like I can't believe this is happening I can't we're going to a round second base right now I can't believe this is happening for the last thing you want to do is have like the manager come to the mount right exactly right to be like this might stop the boy happens like we're right head on
Starting point is 00:12:16 run there's no way to smoothly introduce a condom into the the reach over in your nightstand open it up and just do it. Like, that's what you're gonna do. Sure, really swab guys and movies can do it without interruption, but there's always an interruption. It's the brief, and if you get really to practice, you just grab it, it's easy. I'm telling you guys, you're gonna get it. Just be good, people who they deem as risky or non-risky,
Starting point is 00:12:38 you don't know anything. I'm telling you, the people that you, I don't even know what that means. All right, this is cool. Risky, someone could have one other sexual you? Someone could have even worn other sexual partners you could have at S.D. Of course, there's any number, any count was not over,
Starting point is 00:12:49 or possibilities, but this is for the ladies, because I think the guys will understand what I'm saying, and they know exactly that this is true. When you're in the heat of the moment, and if it's a woman who's very attractive, and like I said, she was above your number, the way your brain is working, it's like infused with drugs almost.
Starting point is 00:13:07 You're not thinking clearly. In chances are you've had a few drinks, but you're thinking she's so hot, I could take one of her STIs. It would be okay. You're not that hot. Like her herp is one of being nearly as bad as herp is. You really?
Starting point is 00:13:20 That's true. At the moment. And then afterwards, I'm sure these guys are filled with shame, like, oh my God, what have I done? Yeah, they're called the 24-hour clinic right right because she immediately drops off the cliff and becomes if she's I had nine Becomes a four and a half right after sex Like any woman does after sex or just the nine drops for the wife Except for you know if you're mad and love but like talking like you know casual encounters Yeah, as soon as you're done whoever you're having sex with
Starting point is 00:13:45 As soon as you're finished they drop a number of points just for that night like, you know, casual encounters. Yeah, as soon as you're done, whoever you're having sex with, as soon as you're finished, they drop a number of points. Just for that night, like, because you're tired and you want to go to sleep, and then morning, this she go back up, refractory period. Is it the refractory period? She goes down and she goes back up again. Or is it just the first time she's so hot and then you did it, you banged her in your Don. Well, there's that too. But what I'm talking about immediately finished.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Yeah, as soon as you're done, you didn't wear a condom in your, in your finishing outside of her, hopefully, or not trust the her if she says that she's on the pill Her that before as soon as you're done. Yeah, she's no nothing's how all you want to do is be alone It sucks. It's a man thing. I forget they are they do they really do right until you're and last year with somebody You actually have a relationship and but for the most part. Yeah, I would, I would, I don't like to talk about these things, but. It's okay. It's past everybody. For the point of her feeling okay,
Starting point is 00:14:30 but because I felt bad for, you know, one of my things. I'm so sensitive. I would stick around, but it was the last thing I wanted to do. I did not want to be in that bed anymore. I didn't want to be on that couch or on the ninth green as it were a few times on goal course. Because you know right away if it's a one, you're like, I already know this is someone I don't want to get serious with. Or just in general. I'm a little bit snag course. Because you know right away if it's a one, you're like, I already know this is someone
Starting point is 00:14:45 I don't want to get serious with. Or just in general. Because you can tell, you know, it's a party girl. And, you know, we're just having fun. You're kind of annoying when you talk. Exactly. Like, I like to bet it when you weren't talking. And my penis was inside you.
Starting point is 00:14:59 God, it's so hard. Well, women do the same thing, I guess. But I do think that there's something like, a guy rationalizes and thinks, you know what? Her herpes kind of hot maybe. Oh, God. Herpes is, it's herpes.
Starting point is 00:15:08 When she have herpes, you just have herpes. You're not going, oh, that's herpes. That I'm going to call Jane is so sexy. She was sexy. No, it's just friggin' herpes. And your balls are itching for the rest of your life. And I'm sure that's not all guys are going to agree with me,
Starting point is 00:15:18 but a lot of guys know exactly what I'm talking about. And I know that for you ladies, that's insane. It is kind of insane. I mean, I just feel like I would use, I would never ever decide to use a condom whether or not I'd be someone safe or hot. And I usually do want to cut it off for sex. Well, you go out with the condom already inserted inside, right?
Starting point is 00:15:34 Like you're prepared. You're ready. He has worn on and I already have one inside. Exactly, of course, because I'm so friggin' safe. That's some good insight, Anderson. God, I miss your insight. I miss your face. I miss your face. I feel like I say too much on this show.
Starting point is 00:15:46 No, you don't, really? I just don't want to get myself in trouble, you know what I say? No, that's a real man. I'm not saying that I, I tell you're telling me anything I've not heard before. Okay, good. You're just looking me like this. This is the first time I've ever heard this.
Starting point is 00:15:59 You're in a saint's sick person. Do it really? No, I'm fascinated. I know because I know this in my brain, but when you say it, I'm like, oh, it's true. Not for every man, but for you, even the sensitive Anderson that you are. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:12 Which makes it even worse, because then I feel like such a shitbag for wanting to get out of that bed when it was over. You know what I mean? Because you could tell they, well, maybe they wanted you to leave. Sometimes I want guys to leave. I've had some experiences lately
Starting point is 00:16:23 where I'm like starting and I'm just like- You guys have the opposite thing though. It's like the oxytocin gets released and you want a nest. No, typically I do want a huddle. Yeah. I've recently had a few sexual encounters where it wasn't intercourse per se,
Starting point is 00:16:37 but I was like, I have to get it. Like I'm actually grossed out. Right. Yeah, those are fun. We're like, I'm with someone and I'm like, I always like to be over at someone else's house, too. So I could leave because asking them to leave is worse. Yeah. You're like, Oh, Uber's on the way. I had a friend that he brought a woman home. She was much older and he brought her home to his friend's house. And then
Starting point is 00:16:56 he, you know, they had sex on the couch at his friend's house in the apartment. Then he got up and he went to work early the next morning and he left the girl there. And it was like five in the afternoon when his friend kept calling him saying, dude, you got to come get this woman off. She's still there. She want to get off his couch. And they finally got her. She finally got up and left. And the reason why she was on the couch, she peed, peed the couch. She peed on the couch. How horrifying for that poor woman. She my friend really liked the older ladies So she was kind of you know, she's probably a metapod how old Right mid 50s. Yeah, yeah, I felt so bad for the thing
Starting point is 00:17:34 I imagine she was just slaying there on the stranger's couch and she was embarrassed and terrified to get up because she knew that the Cheat left a big pee puddle. Oh my God. She can just leave a check for couch cleaning and get the hell out They're no longer my friends, but that's how they approached it. That's just the last two. They started testing and they're texting. You have to pay for this. I think the 15-meter one would have a better plan than that. She left her shoes there.
Starting point is 00:17:52 I remember one over there. It was like a month and a half after. She walked in with Piana, making a Vaman footless. Her shoes were still there, like out on the front step. This is so sad. I'm so depressed. Oh my God. Oh geez.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Yeah, always have a plan after sex. I don't know, it's interesting, Lili, because being single, we're gonna get into the breakup thing because we can talk about that since I have been going through a breakup. But okay, here's the point. Well first I think we've do a little shout out to our sponsors who help keep the show free.
Starting point is 00:18:21 Yes, and then afterwards I wanna talk about a couple projects that I got going to the side. Oh geez, now we're gonna tune out. Thanks a lot Anderson. No, and then afterwards I want to talk about a couple projects that I got going. Oh, geez. Now we're going to tune out. Thanks a lot, Anderson. No, we're going to tell you about breaking out. We've got your emails. Don't leave us.
Starting point is 00:18:30 But here's, but this is important because you know what's great about sex toys. Anderson, they don't get jealous. They do the work. They just want you to feel good. Even if it means they sit one out while you try something new. Well, I was recently introduced to that something new. The rabbit company lay on vibrator. That's L-A-Y-O-N,
Starting point is 00:18:48 and I'm here to tell you that there is a little, it's a little pom-size beauty, and it's awesome. Like we got one year and everyone wanted to try it, I think Madison tried it first, and she like freaked out and loved it, and then they just sent us like six of them. It's simply awesome, it was made for external use, features two years, the little bunny years that are perfectly positioned for clitoral stimulation. And the whole piece
Starting point is 00:19:09 is gently curved to match a woman's natural contour. It literally lays on you. Get it. It's called a land as the name suggests, but it's ergonomic shape feels so good to hold and move around. You'll find it, the endless sensations by changing the land's positions. So it's got these two little things, these ears, and they feel so good because you can put over Laibia, the whole thing. Each of the ears has its own independent motor for amazing power, whisper quiet,
Starting point is 00:19:33 which is great for roommates and such. Has six vibration patterns. My favorite feature though, one, no, it is. It has built-in vibration isolation that keeps the motion in the ears, not the handle. Not as your hand can go a little numb by these things. It's just the ears, all the power in the ears, no more numb hands in the transfer of the vibrations. Like all rabbit company products, the Leon is a hundred percent body safe features intuitive,
Starting point is 00:19:59 easy to use controls, and a five year warranty, which they don't do with toys, Anderson. They just don't. To order your Leon, visit therabbitcompany.com or click the rabbit company banner on my website. Couple things. Go. Since six weeks without love line, some of this language is a little bit jarring, I forgot, because I'm out of the sex world. What?
Starting point is 00:20:18 We're kind of going in that direction. And then also, I thought of something else. What? I got an idea. Has there ever been a sex toy that actually speaks to women? You know, a GPS has the voice and Surrey's got the voice. Have they ever programmed a sex toy? I think dirty talk sex toy. And it's just like you're so beautiful. I love you so much. There is. You're prettier than all your friends. You are the hottest one of the
Starting point is 00:20:41 bar tonight, even though you're home with me. I can see that working for some ladies. And you give that program the different voices. You know it's funny. Have one with an English accent. That is a great idea. With a French. Really? I love the French guys.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Or there is. There's the, um, there is one of the talks. Well, yeah, there's the, oh my god, when it first came out, you could play music through it. And I think you could also record audio through it that you could have some talking. So you have like your boyfriend do it. Yeah. That'd be very uncomfortable if three relationships later, they're using it in bed.
Starting point is 00:21:08 They're like who's that guy? And then some cuspob. Some dudes boys. It's like, hey baby, that was so hot last night. That's actually a good idea, like for women who like to put that, I don't know, dirty talk, that's why we have porn. Yes. I guess.
Starting point is 00:21:21 But why not? If you can't always access your porn, your vibrator can act as that thing. I love hearing dirty sounds, dirty talk. Yes. I know. Women do. We're going to talk about how to cope post break up. Anderson's got some really fascinating, exciting announcements.
Starting point is 00:21:34 First, first, there's three things that I hope to accomplish here today. Sorry if I'm, I'm plugged happy, but it's rare that I have something actually exciting. No, I'm not going to go. I love that you're excited. I'm working towards creating my feature, making my feature. And that's going to take some funding. And in funding, we're going to do this whole campaign. And we're leaning up to it over the summer. And the name of the movie is groupers. And it's very insightful. And now and all about society. And there's no way this movie,
Starting point is 00:21:59 I wrote a script. There's no way I write this script without working on a love line for all those years. I mean, it's definitely about sexuality, homosexuality, homophobia, as well as group mentality, mob mentality, all that kind of stuff. And I'm very excited. I'm actually working with Madison's very good friend. He's, yeah, he's working with me on, on this. I love Max. What I'm asking for is over at my website, AndersonCowin.com, COWAN, or contact at AndersonCowin.com.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Just send me your email if you'd like to be a part of the campaign, not necessarily giving money, but just being a breast of things. Right. You know, it's going on because Anderson makes killer film. He's won a bunch of awards last year. All five of my movies have now gotten to, to, to, to fast. That is so hard to do. In fact, I might want about the Mormon going door to door and ending up
Starting point is 00:22:41 at the massage parlor. That's playing right up the street for me. Yeah. I love it. But this one's it's a work of passion. I've been working my entire life up to making a feature film and getting close. So if you'd like to be a part of just kind of be a breast as to what's happening what's going on. Anderson Cowan.com. So you put this on the website as well. Groupers is the name of the movie and I just and I'm not a bot and I'm not going to give it to other people. No, no, it's a good guy. Just very grassroots efforts, and I'm just collecting the email so I can keep everyone
Starting point is 00:23:07 in the circle. So, groupers, that's fun, that's exciting, more on that to come. After disaster, my carono and I actually, we do these things called destination disasters where we make a video, and we make them available for our Patreon subscribers. The one that we do most recently is the ICP disaster. Are you familiar with ICP insane clown posse? Yes, yes,'re from your hood. They're from your hood. I do. I am. They're called in St. Clown Posse. They're two. They're great. I love them. I love them as characters. They're my favorite guests ever to be on Love Line. Mike and I. Even they
Starting point is 00:23:38 hate guests. Their fans are called juggalos. And they wear face makeup and whatnot. I'm a juggle. And they don't juggle. but they drink a lot and they drink fego and. I love fego. They're from Michigan fego club. There's a lot of fego. We shut up. If you had fego, it's like I could. I had it squirted all over me at the show.
Starting point is 00:23:56 That's all they do, probably three hundred two liter bottles of fego. Get squirt on the ice. I'm gonna cry. It showed up. It's the entire thing. We drove down there. It's an entire event. I cut the thing together. I spent a long time actually put my cold caucal logo in the beginning on the others. I'm gonna cry. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up.
Starting point is 00:24:07 It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up.
Starting point is 00:24:15 It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up.
Starting point is 00:24:23 It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. It showed up. say this. And it got a little nuts at times. It got a little hairy and we got the whole thing documented. Oh my God. So it's a little like mini movie. Like a three minute documentation of the insane clown posse. And that's available. That'll be on my website as well. Okay, interesting. We're selling it for three bucks. I got through for to support to the app disaster. Very fun. I love it. That's amazing.
Starting point is 00:24:39 You're doing great stuff since love line. Yeah, I have a lot more time to actually. I'm during that time when I was at love line. I'm using that to actually create and really are you're getting up in the morning and you're going to better. That's still a work and progress still drinking till. Yeah, I'm not drinking anymore right now anyways, I'm getting stuff done. I'm not in the creative projects. Anyways, I get it. I'm so proud of you. I will put this
Starting point is 00:24:58 on the website too. I'm really proud of you. And that live show that you went to the film bought live show that's available as well. Filmville, I was so proud of you that night. I was like, oh my god, I'm so nice to have you went to the film bought live show that's available as well film But I was so proud of you that night. I was like oh my god I'm so nice to have you there at the Chinese team and I was like wow And this is a really good pocket like I yeah, we've been doing it for so long together You guys have a really good energy. I love it. Thank you very much for letting me to get that out there Very important to me you guys were all took we're all doing podcasts
Starting point is 00:25:18 You'll try and make a living here and we do good content that we really care about I got to send you a link I should have had you watch the ICP why didn't you you? I would have watched it. All right, next time. Just like reading your script, which I will be told we're not too good at it now. Don't read the script because I'm reworking it. Okay, fine. Okay, let's turn up breakups, ready? Breakups.
Starting point is 00:25:31 Facts about breakups. Who usually does dumping? I kind of did spoil, I already spoiled this. 69%. Women are more likely to initiate divorce, but women and men are equally likely to end a non-marital relationship, which I don't believe. I still believe it's mostly the women and men are equally likely to end a non-marital relationship, which I don't believe.
Starting point is 00:25:45 I still believe it's mostly the women that men become complacent, but it is 69% compared to 31% of men and divorces. Women are more sensitive to relationship issues. This is why they're already processing it, they're thinking about it, and I think that men are like, you know, it's okay. They're not really as in-tune. I'm not saying all men, but women were always talking about it and we're processing it. And you know, most common reason cited for the uncoppling lack of communication.
Starting point is 00:26:12 And that might explain why the women do the dumping more often. They tend to value communication more than their male counterparts. And also this won't surprise you Anderson that they experience breakups difficult, more difficult. Women do. Men do. Men do. Men find it harder. that they experience breakups more difficult. The women do? No, men do. Men find it harder. So talk to me about your experience with, yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:30 With breakups. Yeah. Well, I've identified it as the worst feeling in the world to be rejected. It's the worst feeling. I don't think anyone can agree with that. There's no worse emotion that gets brought on other than being rejected by someone,
Starting point is 00:26:46 whether it's a group or a friend or in most cases it's a relationship and there's nothing worse knowing that the love of your life or somebody you think you're in love with would rather be with someone else or just not you. Yeah, which is why many men don't even, a lot of men have struggles just because of the comments of asking someone out. And relatives who are just emotional cowards and they don't, they And they got their heart broken once. They decided never again. And they just don't date. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:09 They just see like professionals. That's it. Yeah. They do experience it differently. The research shows that women experience were pain, both mental and physical, following a breakup. Though interesting what they, for the breakups, hit women the hardest, it was the men
Starting point is 00:27:23 that had a hard time healing. Because I think we don't put in the work. Right. It's at men never fully recover. Because we watch ESPN or go out and drink with our friends and try to get under to get over. You're sleeping with other women. And that men just don't fully recover well
Starting point is 00:27:37 as we were like sitting home, you know, we're doing the badgeries, we're processing, we're trying. Talking to your friends. Can't imagine other penis insider of our vagina, all that stuff. Doing a lot of like, he sucks and all your friends are like back in the up. He sucks anyways, your way better than him. Exactly, exactly. And I never liked his nose.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Right, exactly. You can do better. Remember that time he did this or that? Which is always awkward when you get back together with him and then your friends are like, that's why you gotta be careful. I'm real careful. You can't say he's a total ass the first time they break up. Right.
Starting point is 00:28:04 You can't be like, he was a jerk because people keep coming back together. I've done that to him. And say he's a total ass the first time they break up. Right. You can't be like, he was a jerk because people will be back together. I've done that too. And now I've done that a couple times and they're married now. I don't hang out with those people in the pool. Right, exactly because like Anderson never liked you anyway. So okay, so this is how men handle the breakups, right? They say they think, and tell me if this is right.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I just sent you the email to somebody like six months ago and I'm like, we were going back before the first time in a long time and I'm like And I'm like, you ever since you broke up with that bitch like a few years ago, you've never been better. I was trying to be supportive, and he just wrote me back. He's like, we're married now. And I just still left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that.
Starting point is 00:28:35 I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that.
Starting point is 00:28:43 I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it at that. I left it with you. I'll show her, they got party with the guys. You know, act like nothing is wrong, they're not affected by it. I know this is true, like, they don't even tell their friends sometimes they broke up. Like, they just kind of, like, just kind of keep moving on. You know, to mask their feelings.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Well, what would get back at us the most? What could she do to us that would hurt us the most? And it would be sleep with another person or pretend like nothing that it doesn't hurt us at all, right? So we try and act like that, but that's not going to get that. What was the other chemical? What if it wasn't like a horrible breakup, but you just decided it wasn't like what if someone you broke up with someone, would you still do this behavior?
Starting point is 00:29:17 No. No? No, I wouldn't personally know. Okay. So, so this is also, which is so great, the research, that they don't start to mourn the loss for a while. Like you really started to lay it. They repressed the feelings until they can't ignore them any longer.
Starting point is 00:29:33 Like we said, I, because in my experience, right, like my life, but we said this, like the girls, and I was always more like a dude though. I always more like a girl, so this could work. Exactly. I typically would get into another relationship even though I didn't, you know, in my past. But women, you know, we face our, you know, emotions head on, we cry.
Starting point is 00:29:51 That's why we die so much earlier than you guys too. Right, because you know what it is. We don't process emotions. Yeah, we're not allowed to. Yeah, those kill you. Those give you a heart attack if you have more emotion. I know. But you do, you know?
Starting point is 00:30:02 We're more likely to like straight talk, be honest if I would feel about it, you know? And also we've got our friends, like women have our friends. And we depend, and the thing is, we've got the emotional intimacy with our friends. We've got that men typically don't. And so you're thinking, wow, this has been fun, partying and banging all these chicks,
Starting point is 00:30:20 but now I don't have anyone like my ex-girlfriend who I could talk to when I was having a rough day, but we've got that. And so women, we have a network. We can go to our friends and guys are going, what the hell, who do I talk to? And then they take longer to admit they're in pain and then a few months go by and then they miss her.
Starting point is 00:30:35 And then they struggle and then they sometimes kind of want to come back, right? Yeah, it makes sense. The struggle was starting over even more so than women. Men may be excited at first, but soon they realize that they don't have that intimacy with someone because it takes a while to build it. And the point is everyone handles differently.
Starting point is 00:30:51 There's no right or wrong here. I'm not saying every man needs change, but, or a woman. But I am going to give you tips for post break up. I've got five tips here. I wanna hear. I'll let you know if they work if they work for you. I don't know what this is discussion. And I'm going back to real quick.
Starting point is 00:31:06 If I do the breaking up, which I've done in the past, not as often, probably about 31% of the time, I do the breaking up. Right. I would actually go the other way, which is not good for me either, but I would like almost want to make them feel okay and let them know that I was feeling sad and stuff because I feel bad. You know, I didn't want to victimize them one, but then that gives them think that there's hope for the relationship. Right. So it was terrible. I mean, so many horrible mistakes when I was feeling sad and stuff because I feel bad. You know, I didn't want to victimize them one. But then that gives them think that there is hope for the relationship.
Starting point is 00:31:26 So it was terrible. I mean, so many horrible mistakes when I was younger. Right. No, I just do. I absolutely did too. The mistakes and I cost so much pain and I hate myself for it still. Really?
Starting point is 00:31:35 You gotta let go of that. I still, I know, but I still think about it. But now you're a really healthy relationship. So we go through the reason why. I almost did it to her. I mean, I know. I know. I was very hopeful to her.
Starting point is 00:31:43 But I love that you guys came back around. Like, I love that it could have ended and, you know. Thank know. I was very hopeful to her. But I love that you guys came back around. Yeah. Like, I love that it could have ended and, you know, thank God. Can I ask you a question though? How many times did you guys end it before you actually like, did you? Only one time and it was brutal.
Starting point is 00:31:54 And I realized like, just how awful it was. How many times? It was not very long. It's probably a couple of weeks where we just didn't talk. And it was awful. It was really awful. And that's kind of what was the wake up call. Like, hey, this she is really the one. Yeah. Because I'd felt pain before, but not like that before. Wow. And that's kind of what was the wake up call. Like, hey, this is really the one. Yeah, because I felt pain before, but not like that before.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Wow. And that's how you knew. Okay. So the first thing I suggest is a digital detox. No contact, card of all social media, separate yourself from your children friends. If you can set boundaries, you know, kind of all contact. Say no to break up sex. You know, you can masturbate, you know, you can take care of yourself that way. Don't have the breakup sex. That's tough with the digital cutoff these days. Real tough. So, see, that's tough. I have to say, like, my suggestion is like, you block their number.
Starting point is 00:32:35 You don't, you know, you're not friends with them on Facebook or Instagram, but it's hard. I mean, I went through this phase. So I've been going, I guess I've been broken up, broke up, I've been broken up six, six months been broken up. Broke up, I've been broken up. Six months. Sounds good. And right now, it's still going through that. I still am, yeah, but I'm, you know, I'm not. Digital detox?
Starting point is 00:32:53 Yeah, but not at first. No, not at first, like I was like, looking, and I was like, it's so painful, it does work. So then, you know, maybe the first week or so, I was looking and I'm like, you know what, I just, this isn't healthy. Like, why do I have to see who he's dating or who he's friends with? I'm making of ideas in my head. That's no way to move on. It's not healthy. I've got, you know, and
Starting point is 00:33:11 once they're like really truly out of sight, you can move on because back in the day as you recall, you break up with someone you never hear from them again. Like you wouldn't see him. You wouldn't. Maybe you'd run into me a forever. We're talking about back in the day. Like, you know, when we had nothing but answer machines, we didn't have a caller ID. No, we didn't have any. We're talking about back in the day, when we had nothing but answer machines. We didn't have a caller ID. We didn't have anything. We're talking about that those days. Yeah, and your friends would come home
Starting point is 00:33:30 and be like, guess what, I ran into the bar. They're like, no way, tell me everything. I'd be like, what kind of socks was he wearing? Like, you want to know everything, right? That's what he has, right? Who was he with? All the stuff. So, you know, you can avoid places
Starting point is 00:33:39 where you want to run into. You know, you might run into each other. Like, don't go to that place thinking you're gonna find them and run into them, because we're very vulnerable at this time, things are tense, and anything that your access to say is going to affect you very, very deeply. So what do you think about the digital detox?
Starting point is 00:33:56 I think it's super tough, especially for people that are so tied in to the social media these days. I don't envy you at all, because it would be even harder. It is. It was hard for me back in the day, and knowing that I don't envy you at all, because it would be even harder. It is. It was hard for me back in the day, and knowing that I could also create this whole false image
Starting point is 00:34:10 of how I really was doing, there's that, which comes into the digital detox as well, where I'm putting things on Facebook, hoping that she would see it. I'm fine, I'm sure. People do that all the time. A lot of time. And this is this whole other layer,
Starting point is 00:34:21 like almost a whole separate life, like an avatar that you have to worry about healing as well. So what you're saying is a lot easier said than done, but what you have to do is make a real commitment to yourself and maybe bring a couple of your friends in as you don't let them. Yeah, I had a friend who helped me kind of, but she was like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:34:37 And I was like, I know, she's like, you haven't blocked them. And then she said, just try it for three days. I mean, this is the very beginning. And I like just stopped. And then I just forget it really was so much easier because I wasn't looking or seeing. And the social media stalking. I mean, there's the very beginning and I like just stopped and then I just really was so much easier because I wasn't looking or seeing. And the social media stocking. I mean, that's that's you're probably going to do it for a few days, but then realize what you're doing.
Starting point is 00:34:52 I know that you're not a few months. You're you're bound to do it for at least few days, but know that you're not going to be able to heal, move on and find the next person that's going to be the better person for you without giving it up. This is why you're doing it. You're doing it. The longer you do it, the less chance you have of actually being happy with somebody else one day.
Starting point is 00:35:10 And we're not suggesting to be. Just torturing yourself, looking at you. Being like a love addict and going straight to somebody else, but you're not going to be able to heal yourself or fix yourself as long as you're wallowing. That's number two, then. Take time to process. Go through those phases. Like go through the sadness and the anger and the pain,
Starting point is 00:35:25 you know, many people want to like put a limit. Like I should be over this by now. I should take a month, just take two months. I know some people like that. I did that. Did I do that? Maybe I did. We're involved in something like that, though. I was involved in saying that I should already be involved in something where like there was a two month period. Remember we talked about this in the park in Lott. Yes. And the yes and the came back work out. Not so well. No, what did I do?
Starting point is 00:35:51 Are you saying that I stayed? You didn't do it. The other person did it. They came back around. They were gonna cut Emily off for two months, nothing Emily, right? Yes, exactly. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:35:59 And they did. And it was fine. And we didn't talk, we still haven't. So, oh, well, okay, I don't want to make it about me per se. Right. Yes. And they do, because they will circle back and we're going to think like, well, maybe things have changed and maybe things are different.
Starting point is 00:36:12 But listen, no one's going to change in two months or a month. They're not going to be like, oh, you're going to miss each other because we tend to have this euphoric recall when we break up with someone when we think it's great. Yeah, I do like people. Yeah, and you're like, oh, of course you miss them. Of course you love them. You were together for a while. But that's why again, no contact.
Starting point is 00:36:28 And I say no contact for at least, if you can't do the digital detox, then do no contact for six months. I don't even know if I say that in here, but that's so important. You know the whole idealizing people, especially relationships gone by and looking back on it. So only thinking of the good stuff.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Have you had any success in thinking only about the bad stuff? Have you been able to do that? If the guy was, yeah, I mean, I've dated, I, if he gave you enough to hate. If he gave me enough to hate and it was like something horrible break up, yes, typically I have. Okay, we've got to take that, take the time to process. I think, you know, it takes about three months to you're really ready to like move on maybe. And it doesn't mean that you're getting over the breakup, but maybe you're ready to start just going out more and dating and you process things. I mean, you're getting over the breakup, but maybe you're ready to start just going out more and dating and you process things I mean, you're like, you know, you might still be feeling pain, but everyone's different. Be patient.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Crab, you know, cry, it was a cry, cry and sob. You could cob. And um, so you know, take the time. Spend time to get in touch with you again. This is why it's so important is because we get lost and released of sometimes and we don't remember who we are on our own. Right. Very helpful work. Make good choices. Don't do the like go out and talk to friends and go out and drink and party and see people. I mean, you might do that for a week or two, but really, it's better to like start exercising, hang out with your friends and are like really
Starting point is 00:37:38 good influences. You know, and again, just be kind to yourself, take time to heal, do activities with people that you like. And just it's just's just, I think it's a great reset button. Get a new routine. Just shake something up. Like start waking up an hour earlier than you did or find a brand new like coffee house you've never been to before. A new supermarket. Again, on a different kind of diet, change something kind of major in your life. Right. So that, but for the positive, because the, one of the toughest breakups I ever had,
Starting point is 00:38:06 I ended up getting a brand new job and a new car all the same time, and a new place to live. So everything was totally different. It was a lot easier to move on in a different direction. Absolutely. You don't have to be that drastic, but if you just change,
Starting point is 00:38:17 like if you start waking up an hour early and doing yoga or something, something different that's gonna shake up your whole life. And also, if you're having a hard time moving right now, because you're like, oh, but I'm just, like, it's I find like every, for a lot of my changes, it helps to be accountable. Or type of friend is like, we're going to this new yoga class. Yes. We're going out tonight.
Starting point is 00:38:33 And let's commit to it. Yeah, come on. And I never regret. I always like, I don't feel like going out in the one I go out, I'm always happy. And I always, always be people. Worse than you do is lay with your own thoughts. Exactly. If you need to, a little bit. It's a dark room, man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Can't get out alone. What's that saying? When you're in the room, flailing around, I don't know. He's like Jack Johnson lyrics. No, no, it's a really good saying what I'm not going to say. Now, okay, rebound sex. Okay, only if you can handle it. Like if you can do it and stay unattached and you're like, I'm just going to have sex. I'm not going to get emotionally involved, but typically just a bandaid.
Starting point is 00:39:03 It's just something that you're going to, you know know, it's gonna make you feel good for a second, and then afterwards it might make you feel worse. But if you're having like horrible sex in your relationship, you're like, I really just want to get laid, but I don't want to attach and you really can stick to that, only you know the answer to that. And careful. Somebody else's feelings involved there too, you know, going out rebound sex in by yourself. The party girls that you pick out your house at 3 a.m. Should be an entire, this should be a whole, ah. What? Another idea?
Starting point is 00:39:29 There should be a, ah. For nothing but rebound sex. People that are both sides that need rebound sex. There should be another probably is. Rebound sex ups. Rebound sex ups. But people that, you know what I mean? Cause like, I hate the idea of somebody going out
Starting point is 00:39:42 and like, you know, banging just the, whoever they can just make themselves feel better than that person is just left in the wind. That sucks. But does that make you, I've guessed it, that's true. But does that, maybe they know that when hopefully you're a mature enough adult that you can be like, listen, I'm not looking for anything serious although often people don't hear that message.
Starting point is 00:39:58 Right, for sure, especially to be ladies, you guys are deaf to that. But how does rebounds sex make you feel? You know, the one benefit that it has, is it, it's a really a awake up call to like, wow, I just did that Ultimately in intimate thing with a different person. It's over like my other relationship It's it's a real like slapping the face. It's like this is real. This is happening because you're actually you just had sex with a different person Right, but other than that. No, I think it leaves you feeling empty. And like I said, I worry about the other person.
Starting point is 00:40:25 And sometimes, yeah, because you're so carried. I do too, and I also feel like it's, I sometimes, it's, it's, it's, it's worked both ways, but sometimes I felt like it made me miss my ex more because I was having sex. Because it's gonna be different, yeah. It's always a weird thing when you feel it like touch and like their boobs are different
Starting point is 00:40:39 and like their legs are different and they, they smell different. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's weird, because your intimate was, it's jarring. A lot of times I don't like it, but it is a good wake up smell of the coffee your life needs to move on. It's different.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Exactly. Okay, are you ready to date again? That's the fifth step. Okay, take the time to be single. I don't think again I did this. I went from one relationship to the next. Even though I would say listen, any time to heal, any time to whatever, then I'd meet someone
Starting point is 00:41:07 and then I would get it so much easier to get caught up because when you're falling in love or lust with somebody, typically those feelings, the feel good hormones can kind of numb your emotion. So I was like, well, that's really sad, but here's a new guy that I can get really excited about. That's how you get caught up being a love addict, though. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:24 I don't think I'm a love addict, but. No, I don't think you are. No, I am definitely not a love addict. So it's very tempting to hop from one to the next, but again, it's really great just to really get to know yourself as a single person and be settled on your own. And also, something that I've noticed is that we tend to heal past relationships in our current.
Starting point is 00:41:43 So let's say in your last relationship, you had horrible sex. So your partner wasn't very attentive or giving a flow job is or whatever it is or kiss. You meet someone who's like way into sex and they really love pleasing you. And so the pendulum swings, right? Because you think, well, my last partner did, but typically that's not what you need. Either just because it's one person is like the one, usually there's one area that was really lacking. So just be mindful of this.
Starting point is 00:42:06 And again, when you start dating again, you don't have to jump into relationship. In fact, this is a great time to just date casually and a time of great self-improvement, you know, reconnect with all friends, made some new ones, and that will lead to meeting potential dates. And I would think to kind of break that possibility
Starting point is 00:42:23 of a love cycle too, you should want to make it a goal that the next person to date, the relationship is going to be better. The person is going to be better all around. Right. Do a good job. Like you want to always go, if you get a new job, it should be a better job. If you get a new card, it should be a better card. Exactly. You should don't just settle and get in the first relationship that comes along, you should
Starting point is 00:42:42 always be going better. Right. Exactly. Parallel moves you want to go. Right. If you've kind of hold off and make sure. And Emily, yeah. Yeah. What? Say it. Do it. Go.
Starting point is 00:42:51 I just, it's been so long since I've talked about sex or anything or relationships with you. And I hope I'm not coming off as like, like, I'm no, I'm by no, by no means an expert. I'm just talking my own personal experiences. You're the expert here. I'm just going off of what I, you know, 17 years of love line in my own horrible and mistakes that I've made in my past. Yeah. Dude, you're very helpful.
Starting point is 00:43:12 You know what I'm not talking about? But I just don't want to come off like I'm a know it all because I know very, I never got to school for this shit. You know what I'm saying? Okay. All right. You're doing great.
Starting point is 00:43:23 And my last thing is that I just think when I say work on yourself, let me explain just real quickly what that means, is again, spending time to get to know yourself and also, you know, what you like, what you don't like. And really look at that relationship for what it was. And you can even do this. Like, these are the things that I require on my next partner. Like, they have to, you know, be sensitive or they have to be healthy.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Like, I'm healthy. You know, they want to take care of, they remember my birthday. I mean, whatever it is, like, they like, they like, same religion, whatever the issues are like really. Because if you have a list, is it to be a massive list or you know, you're like, and you meet somebody who does not meet those bottom line requirements, it could be three things. Right. Let's read flags. Read flags.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Pay attention. Okay. Why don't we go into emails? Sure. Wait, the one last thing that really, really helped. Oh, go. I always need to not. Yeah. The one last thing that really, really helped the one last thing, and I think I brought this up on your show before is I would visualize my future wife, girlfriend, life partner, whoever I was going to end up with. I knew that she was walking
Starting point is 00:44:15 the earth somewhere because I'm not a disgusting pig and I knew that it wasn't like she was born yet, right? So I knew that she was out there. She was living her life somewhere, and I imagined her looking at me being pathetic and being heartbroken about this person who ultimately is going to be a footnote in my life. So I would imagine my future faceless wife, girlfriend, looking at my present state and just going, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:44:36 And it gave me strength. I might be like, you've got really powerful life. I had to really work hard on it because I had so much pain in some of the past relationships. But that worked,, but that worked. That worked. Did you ever go back to people?
Starting point is 00:44:48 You get back together? Oh, yeah. Plenty of times. Even though you had those, no, that's a really smart way to think about it. There is more, but there's so many of you on the planet. And here's the other thing that you always hear people break up is that our biggest fear when we break up is someone is that we're not going to be loved, that they were the best thing that ever happened to us and we'll never find someone else. And just to that. And I've got to tell you that that's more I think of as someone. Is that we're not going to be loved, that they were the best thing that ever happened to us and we'll never find someone else.
Starting point is 00:45:05 And just to that. And I'm going to tell you that that's more of your life is over. Yeah, but particularly we think, yes, that's true. But I think we have a lot of fear that we will end up telling you. I used to think that I've dated a lot. You always will find someone. You will. That is not your best person.
Starting point is 00:45:20 Unless you get hit by a bus. Right, and then you die. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Right. That's hopeful. Okay. So, um, yeah, can we buy some emails now? How about that? Thank you for emailing me feedback at sexwithmwe.com and for including your name, where you're listening from, how you listen, and your age in your email. And we've got a new feature of the show, which you don't even know about yet. We're starting, Anderson. What's up? Um, you can call and leave your question for me by, by voicemail.
Starting point is 00:45:48 And if your message is selected, we'll play your question on the show. I'll answer it here. 818, ask SWE1. That's 818 275 7931. So keep your messages to about a minute. Don't include your last name or the names of anyone you're talking about. Um, do You're going to be talking about. Keep your messages about a minute.
Starting point is 00:46:07 Don't include your last name or the names of anyone you're talking about. Do that. Ask SW1. Exactly. And we're also going to be taking calls in here soon too.
Starting point is 00:46:15 Which I know you love the calls. Okay. Hi, Emily. I've been in a relationship for two months with my new girlfriend. Age 23, who I age 27, absolutely love. Although
Starting point is 00:46:26 we haven't said it yet, I'm in a situation that seems to be rather unusual these days. As a guy, I seem to want to spend quite a bit more time with her than the other way around. Right now, we're seeing each other about twice a week, which does not seem much to me given the fact that we live in the same city. I don't think I qualify as an overly attached boyfriend. I'm quite confident in myself and have lots of other things going on in my life. I'm giving her lots of freedom to spend time with her friends, but I wish we could spend more quality time
Starting point is 00:46:52 just the two of us. If we don't see each other, we text more or less daily, but I always start the conversation, and she just responds like with a smiley or a few words. This may lead you to believe that she's not that into me. I would not agree. Our relationship status was immediately made public to all of our friends.
Starting point is 00:47:10 We spent time together, we see each other's friends, I've met her parents. And this summer we said we like seeing each other all the time and this is her first serious relationship. I express my desire for more time with her once in passing along the lines of, hey, we live in the same city. What would you say about seeing each other more often, but nothing has changed?
Starting point is 00:47:30 How do I approach this about wanting her to spend more time with me and develop better communication? Because two weeks, you know, just seeing each other twice a week doesn't seem to make a lot of time. I want your opinion. Greetings from Frankfurt. I love your show, Marcus. Frankfurt.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Yeah. Um, I think she's waiting for him to take the initiative. So he's thinking, I said to her, I want to see you more and nothing's happening. I think he's got to just like, don't be like, we need to see each other more. Cause that can be annoying. But pick a plan.
Starting point is 00:47:57 They like for Germany. Yeah. How about that? Yeah, it's cool. I love it. I love it too. We got friends and fans all over. I mean, I don't think that she's going to be thinking
Starting point is 00:48:06 I've never been in relationship, but I should carve out time. You have and just ask a word. I don't think she's when I first started reading it until he said she might this might sound like she's not that into me. I thought maybe she's not that into him. But the fact that they both went public to all the relationships says I still don't do that. So, you know, I think just make a plan with her that he's way over thinking it. What do you think? I feel like we need, there's a missing piece that is like what she's doing with her life. Is she like a really career driven?
Starting point is 00:48:31 He said she's busy, he said she's got plans, she's got friends, you know, she's got a lot going on. How long has it been going on for? So, I don't know. We're fresh. Six months. Six months? Yeah, she's young, she might be.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Two months. Two months. He might be two months, two months. He might be being a little early guy. Yeah, you're being a little push. I think Marcus, I think you are overthinking it. You've changed your relationship status. You've met each other's parents. And I'd say don't have a talk. Just make the sasker what she's doing.
Starting point is 00:48:58 If you know you're seeing each other in Tuesday and Thursday, say what are you doing? Saturday. See how that goes. And she's like, no, I can only do two days a week. I hate to say it, but there might be another dude or two, right? That she might be like, kind of seeing, like, testing the waters. It sounds like, but they declared the relationship. How so though? I'm thinking Facebook. Where else do people declare the race relationship status these days? She's not a weekend time. If there's no
Starting point is 00:49:20 weekends available to him, and that's for her friends, that's not a relationship. I have to agree with him. You think two times a week, they've been dating for two months, is that a relationship? If you're only if they live real close proximity. Yeah, no, I agree. I think when you start seeing someone and yeah, and it's three times a week, I agree. But you think how would you approach it though, without pushing her away, which you might already be doing?
Starting point is 00:49:43 Um, yeah, it's tough. Just start making, just tell her I wanna see you, like let's hang out all weekend, how about you stay in my place, something like that, see what she says. If she keeps saying no to that additional day or days you wanna hang out, then you can talk about the fact that in a relationship,
Starting point is 00:49:56 you'd like to see her more. She might be a lesbian. Dude, you're thinking the worst. She could be. Well, I think it's time to get her out. Okay, hey Emily, I'm 28 year old woman, this will get you back on the Love Line track. I'm a 28 year old woman from New York. I listen to your show and iTunes and I absolutely love it. I greatly appreciate your advice and the fun twist you bring to conversations about sex. I've been having sex for a decade.
Starting point is 00:50:09 I've had a good number of partners in all sizes. I have never had a vaginal orgasm, though, because of your show, I decided to find my G-spot on my own with a dildo and some l lube I've been able to locate the spot. I think I get that I have to pee sensation for your advice. I kept going when I felt the need to pee, and eventually a lot of liquid came out of me three times. I say liquid, it didn't look or smell like urine. I also felt all the other orgasm symptoms.
Starting point is 00:50:41 My legs were shaking, my heart was beating really fast, and I even shed a tear or two. Wow. It felt good but not overwhelming. Was I squirting? Can one squirt without having an orgasm? And if I did have an orgasm, how come it didn't feel as amazing as my little orgasms or better? Thanks for all you do, Michelle. Let me ask you before we get down the rabbit's hole. Do you think that she had an orgasm? You know, it sounds like she did. Because my rule has always been I kind of like a multiple choice. I'll never say any, if one of the choices is D,
Starting point is 00:51:13 any, never marked that. If my rule with orgasms with the ladies, if they think they're not sure, then it wasn't. Yeah, I mean, if there's any kind of question. But she's never had one before. So, but the thing is she doesn't feel as good. So she could have just, I don't know. You're right.
Starting point is 00:51:31 I mean, I tend to agree. It's kind of like you can't be kind of pregnant. You can't kind of have an orgasm. Right. It's like, but I think that she's still got to keep working on it. So I think first of all, you can squirt without having an orgasm. So maybe it was your body sporting. That was the reaction.
Starting point is 00:51:44 You might be overthinking this too, like comparing them in your head and like the Clitoral one felt like this. She'd go for a blended too, because a blended orgasm is when you have the Clitoral and then a G spot, and I don't know if you tried to have a Clitoral first, but that always helps the G spot orgasm.
Starting point is 00:51:57 Which was better, G spot or Clitoral. You know, like choosing between my children. It's like choosing between two children, which dog do you love better? It's Emily's choice. Yeah. You should make a porn about that. You have to choose choosing between my children. It's like choosing between two children. Which dog do you love better? It's Emily's choice. Yeah. You should make a porn about that. You have to choose, give up one.
Starting point is 00:52:09 That'd be offensive. I can't. You know, people think that the G-Spot is the holy grail. What'd you just say? Say that again, I could choose one. Well, it's like a Sophie's choice. You're my psych rate, Sophie's choice. I must choose between orgasms.
Starting point is 00:52:19 You don't have to choose. So there's different types of orgasms feel different for different women. So I think, you know, your body might not be used to choose. So there's different types of orgasms feel different for different women. So I think, you know, your body might not be used to it. It might have been like a kind of a g-spot-ish orgasm. So go for the clitoral first, then go for the g-spot. And, you know, once you start having them, they'll start to grow and become more comfortable. And you might want to spin up your toy choices. Some women prefer to use G-Spot toys that vibrate because the vibrations of movements
Starting point is 00:52:47 make their orgasms more powerful. Some like ones that are just like dildos, that without vibrations. So you could play with that. I love the rabbit company vibrators because guess what? Most of them are all like G-Spot toys because they're like rabbits.
Starting point is 00:53:00 There's like the cum-hither rabbit, which is good for like G-Spot beginners. There's the beaded rabbit and the metal bead school around your G-Spot. Check out the rabbit company. It's cool. It's on my website. So I think that you're well in your way. I love kind of say Michelle. I love that you're really trying. Like this is what I always tell women I had to try my G-Spot orgasm did not just come from some penis in my vagina one day and I've had been having sex for a decade or two. I had to freaking like spend my time with like you know in my room figuring out and I've had been having sex for a decade or two. Or two. I had to freaking spend my time with in my room figuring it out and now that I did, I know that I have them. So Michelle, just keep on keeping on.
Starting point is 00:53:33 Yeah. Keep on keeping on. That looks like a trucker thing I think. It is. So that's what we have time for here, Anderson. I don't even have time to plug anything because you you put now on Canary, I'm sorry. I have nothing to plug. I didn't even plug the one thing
Starting point is 00:53:47 that I really wanted to plug to Cinematics, which is the show. It's, why other shows are very healthy, but Cinematics is said, we just did week 26, so I've only been doing it for six months, but I put a lot of work into this show and it's where we talk about the movies that are coming out this time.
Starting point is 00:54:01 Which I love, okay. So this one that we did this week, we did Swiss Army Man, which you probably never heard of Swiss Army Man. Yeah, Madison has, she's hip. It's got Harry Potter, he plays a chorus. Oh yeah, Harry Potter, I've heard of him. And Paul Danna, but the one that we really liked, we uncovered like a little smaller films
Starting point is 00:54:19 of people and see, life animated. It's a movie about an autistic adult who actually found a connection with the world through Disney cartoons. They can find all of this in your web. Great. I love it. It's all on, okay, cinematic.
Starting point is 00:54:30 And it's an interesting cow. And I'm assuming all this is there. Yeah, an interesting cow. Anything that I do, an interesting cow. Okay, and everything I can do, you can find it sexwithemily.com. And I just got, you know, I've been meeting a lot more listeners out in the world
Starting point is 00:54:40 and we've been getting so many great to see that news. Stealing their boyfriends from clubs. It was funny, wasn't a boyfriend. Clearly he liked me. But the deal is that we, I'm really into it. I love my Snapchat. You can do it.
Starting point is 00:54:50 Follow me there on Instagram and all that. And we put up a last week minus mention that I had a bikini photo on Instagram and a lot of people went back on to look at it and mention that they heard it on the show. So this week I've got something else up there that's particularly sexy. So what's it? Check it out.
Starting point is 00:55:03 Whatever I can do. No, but also I just love you all. Thank you for listening and thank you Madison, Laurie and Jamie and thank you. Anderson, great to see you. Thanks for letting me plug. I'm glad of it. You're awesome. So thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithammelie.com. Okay guys, are you looking for a way to mix up your masturbation routine? Well, let me tell you about the number one sex toy for men, and really, the only one you want. The flesh light. It's a masturbation sleeve that you use solo or with a partner that simulates the sensations of real sex and was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. There's a flashlight for every man's needs, and now there's a new addition to the
Starting point is 00:55:53 flashlight family. The Quick Shot, it's an open-ended male masturbator, has the patented super-skid material, but the Quick Shot is smaller, easier to handle, and requires way less cleanup. It can be you solo or with a partner to take hand jobs and blow jobs to the next level. I think that for every woman who has a sex toy, every man should have one of these. Go to sexwithamily.com, click on the flashlight banner and use code Emily to get a free bottle of their award-winning fleshloob. Check it out, you'll thank me.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Check it out, you'll thank me.

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