Sex With Emily - Relationship Roadblocks: Less Ruts, More Sex

Episode Date: June 21, 2014

This week’s podcast is all about relationship and sexual roadblocks and how to move through them so you can have the best life all around. Emily gives advice about which sex toys you must have to start your toy collection, the best erotica, where to find female and couple friendly porn, and remedies for premature ejaculation (including exercises and Promescent!)  Emily and Menace answer (and debate)  listener’s questions including: what to if you can’t orgasm with your  husband, why women need to dedicate time to masturbation, virgin etiquette, sex in the workplace and why you shouldn’t google someone before a first date (even though you’ll probably do it anyway.)  Plus should you date someone who looks like your ex? Does Emily have a boyfriend? All this and more in this fast paced, funny but always informative podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Emily from SexWithEmily.com. Thanks so much for listening to Sex With Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at GoodVibes.com. They carry all the best sex toy brands. You can get the new Vibratex toys, which are amazing. They have a new rabbit habit. You know, the initial rabbit that came out years ago, it's no longer clunky.

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They have toys for couples. They also have video on demand, which I'm telling you rocks. So if you are in your partner or even on your stuff, you want to watch some videos. They only have the best stuff on their site. Highly curated, they have toys they have videos for couples. Check it out at goodvibes.com. You can even get the strongest most orgasmic vibrator of all

time, the magic wand. So go to sexathemely.com, click on the Good Vibrations banner, and use coupon code gvmly20 for 20% off. That's gvmly20 for 20% off. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kinda cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Mollie? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good.

But you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts, our vlogs, our videos. We've got so much stuff going on on our site because if you love the show that has an extension of us, you can also find it on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Sex with Emily. We're just all day long pumping out sex, relationship

information to make your life better and happier because that's my purpose on the planet. Right, man, I switch your purpose on the planet. My purpose on the planet is to survive. Just survival. I hear you, man. I've been in survival all my whole life. But nice to see you. Nice to see you too. The first time we talked to you shot a porno. Yeah, that was a good time. To San Francisco for your birthday. And now we are back together again. I know. And it's great to see you. And I have to tell you the funniest thing that happened. I was just thinking

driving over here because I was I was my friend for dinner. And she fixed me up with this guy. And oh, you've been talking about here. guy. And, um, oh, you've been talking about it. You're like, no, this is, I've been fixed up so much here. But this is like, I went out with him like two months ago. And someone who's like me works at this place that we always go to. And, and she kept saying, you got to go out with him, you got to go out with him. So finally, like, I went out with him one night. And, and he's a really sweet guy. We went to this play. It was a storytelling series. You know that you stay out of those

until you have a school, like, people get up for 10 minutes and tell stories. Boring, yeah. Good. I usually like them. I've done them before. They're interesting. I'm like, oh, that sounds fun.

Archie was in Venice. So meanwhile. I already hate it. Go ahead. I had a really long weekend when we went out. I had my friends in town from San Francisco. This was like a month ago, but I hadn't seen them until last night.

And I was so tired and we went on the day was a Sunday night day First of all, which those just bum me out like why didn't you agree to those like Sunday nights for like hanging out at Home and doing whatever so I went out with him and I was leaving Venice racing to get home back to where I live Which is 40 minutes away and I calm like I'm gonna be late He's like, oh, we're actually going to Venice. I'm like well, I'm stuck on the freeway as I gotta go home Get into card right back to Venice go to the storytelling, well, I'm stuck on the freeway. As I gotta go home, get in the car, drive back to Venice, go to the storytelling. Well, it turns out the storytelling

is usually really interesting topics, but this was like for geeks, like it was like a nerd story thing, like you're talking about like Star Wars and stuff that I didn't understand. Now, like a boy. Well, I was so tired and he knew his friend puts on. It was kind of an intimate, go to 60 people.

So the first few stories, I know, and I didn't understand what they're talking about, I don't know like all the geek stuff. So I actually, I kind of fell asleep and I did the whole like turn my head thing like away but we're sitting next to each other and I started doing like the whole neck rodeo thing where I'm like falling asleep.

And I'm like, hope he doesn't notice. I felt really bad because it was his thing. And then finally, at the intermission, which was like an hour and 15 minutes in, there was another hour after that. For you and Nightmare, I was just tired though too. I really had a long day and I said to him, he's like, well, we could leave.

But then I feel kind of bad. He's like, I know this is kind of a weird, I've been here before. It's never this kind of obscure topic. I said, honestly, I don't think I can last. I'm like, I'm really a chemi-go. Like, I feel so bad, you know, with your friend. And then he drove me home and that was it.

And I had a forehead and a herd for my man. I texted him, like, thank you so much. I'm sorry, you know, I was so tired. So I saw him last night. I was out with my friend and I saw him. And I hadn't seen him since. And we were joking about it. And he's like, yeah, you at the worst time.

And I'm like, I was really tired. My friend says to me, she's like, well, you didn't fall asleep on the date, did you? And I said, oh my God, I think I did. He goes, yeah, she totally fell asleep. I was hoping to know, notice. And I thought, oh my God, he did notice anything that fell asleep.

How bad is that on a date to fall asleep? It was friggin' hilarious. But then we were laughing about it. He's like, I thought you were the worst time ever. I'm like, I'm so sorry. I don't usually fall asleep on dates. It's funny that you bring up this topic because I was asking some of my coworkers

have they ever fell asleep on the phone talking to somebody. And I did that before with a girl and she got super upset. I said, I swear I'll never have it again, but this is like what I was working crazy in saying hours. And then I did it again. What was the late night chat after being called for something? They can get it so compelling. It's so hard to make crazy.

They've been playing clips of me snoring on the radio lately. How do they know you snoring? Oh, because they have this recording of me when we all shared a Vegas hotel room. We were there for some music festival working. And I thought I was smart because I woke up in the middle of the night and everyone was snoring. So I started recording everybody, not realizing

I was the one that fell asleep first and they recorded me. That's hilarious. So I was like, so I was like, ah, I got you guys and then they played the audio of me too. So now anytime a caller is boring on the radio, they play your snore. They play my story. That is so fun.

Snoring, do you still snore? Oh yeah, insane. It's so, I was dating a guy who was a big snore and I actually could play it for you because he didn't believe me and it is the most disturbing snore that you've ever heard. Like it was, I would think he'd kill me, if he ever heard this, because it was like, it sounds like someone's dying, being strangled.

Yeah, what's... And then I had ear plugs in, I had to sleep next to my noise machine, and I wrapped things around my head. Yeah, I mean, my snoring is loud, but not crazy. I have a buddy who we would go on all our Disney land trips. Like, we had like a whole crew of people and we would we would all share hotel rooms and

He was so loud That people would get out of the hotel room and go sleep in their car because they can nice Oh my god see that's that's only wrong. The patient you can get the good operations Yeah, and I go how did because he goes on tour buses now And I go how do people even deal with it on tour buses now, and I go, how do people even deal with it? And he goes, well, they, they party all night long. Oh, so they sleep, they sleep through it, but he's so loud. I wonder if it's a deal breaker relationship. And we're, oh, I'm sure it is. How does your girlfriend live with it? Uh, she's used to it. Yeah. But I know couples, yeah, with the whole air plug thing. Oh, yeah. That's

why I do. I was hitting this guy at night, kick him and I hit him and he got so mad, I'm like, you're so loud, I'm gonna kill you. I hate it, I wish I did. I'm sorry, I don't mean to criticize snores, but. No, no, no, I mean, I never heard. It happens, dude. It's hilarious.

I know my mom's snores, actually. So I have to do your bed with her sometimes. I'm like, don't yell at me for my snoring. You probably, you probably snore, you just snore. I don't snore, I talk in my sleep, which is no surprise. That I talk all the time, and I actually talk in my sleep. Yeah, but you don't know you don't snore, you just snore. I don't snore, I talk of my sleep, which is no surprise that I talk all the time. And I actually talk of my sleep. They're tickling.

You don't know you don't snore. I do, I've dated guys, I've spent the evening with many men in bed and slept over, they've slept over and they all tell me I talk of my sleep. Full on stories. Wow. You think I talk a lot, obviously I'd never slept but in my sleep.

I know, I'm like, oh, am I saying anything interesting? I'm like, nah, not really. Okay, today's show, we're going to be reading the emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithdaemily.com. We've also loved hearing from everyone on Facebook. You can find my Facebook page, sex with Emily, Twitter. Some of your questions I'll ever tell you on to because we've been getting so many

and I want to help you all with all of your stuff. So this show is really about sexual roadblocks. We kind of grouped together some emails that are all around this topic of sexual roadblocks. So also I want to say that on Twitter, every Wednesday from 12.31 Pacific Standard Time, it's at Sex with Emily, I will answer all your sex and relationship questions

that you have on Wednesday. So check it then Good. Yeah. Oh another thing on Thursday nights. I do a show another show that menace is not on which is sad But I release two shows a week home with menace one without And you can also call into that show on Thursday nights 839 30 Pacific standard time At the number 1 800 5-568-3191. That's good. Yeah, so you can have to talk to Emily.

Talk to Emily live in the flesh. Go for it. Exactly. Be fun. And all your information is up on your website. Sex Family Dark Brain. Yeah, it's all the sellers that it is. It's all sex Family Dark Brain.

I don't know if we've all this up there, but it should be. We're at it. Okay, so anyway, we've got a little bit of a six in the news to start with. Before we get to the topics of the emails, which did some of the topics include just so you know it's coming up, increasing stamina without the use of creams, a woman's unable to orgasm. After sex, someone can't get their sex drive back and is female pubic hair sanitary for her. We're talking about Loub, a few other things, spicying up marriage, some sex toys, all that and more. Coming up after we deal with some important news.

All right. Oh, I have some news. I watched a video on worldstarhiphop.com and the guy was doing a girl doggy style and he was able to pull a poor subservial and eat the cereal while he was doing it. Was it for a joke? It was pretty.

Really? It was like pretty skillful. Pretty skillful. That is skillful. Yeah. He was banging her and then eating cereal was he spelling it all over the place or no? No, no.

He poor, he was able to pour the cereal in a bowl on her back and then eat it while he was doing her dog style. Oh, I would feel really good about myself then if I was eating the guy. It was obviously for a joke, right? I'm sure they were serious. No, but really, yeah, that's funny. People have med skills. What's the called? Ruralstarhiphop.com. World star hip hop? Yeah, you should check it out. I'm sure you'll love it. I need to spend the weekend just checking out websites

exactly and watch and tell version. Okay, husband sells cheating wife's wedding dress online after she slept with his best friend. Well, the people always sleeping with their partner's best friend, aren't there a million, if you're gonna cheat, aren't there a million other people? You're gonna hurt your partner anyway. Why a super thirtier goddamn best friend? Women love doing that.

Who, who women love doing that? And men do too. I would never do that. You ever women do it way more than guys do. Because no, no, no, no, because if it's a guy going after a girl that's like his partner is best friends with, most likely the girl won't do it. But- Are you using the girls going after the guy?

But if it's the other way around different situation, if it's a girl that's been hurt by a guy, she is gonna go after his best friend. And the best guy, since it's a guy, and they're freaking stupid, they'll go ahead and do it anyways. Well, then he's not really a best friend. Yeah.

But I believe that they both men and women do it with the same kind of a tattoo. Like maybe, I don't think women do it more. I don't think the numbers match up. I think, what the hell do you get your numbers? Huh? It's called living and not being around effing hippies that you live in in San Francisco with,

you know, this actually. And I live in hippies. I wasn't hippy. Am I not a hippy anymore? Because I live in a life. Oh, I just, you're gluten free douchebag friends that you suit. Dude, they're not douchebags. Shut up, probably your friend.

I don't even know your friend. I don't even know if you have any. My friends are cool. Oh, good. That's awesome. Good to know. And me and both my buddy Danny at school. Oh yeah, sure, Danny.

My buddy Danny, we're gonna- I don't know Danny. What are you gonna do? You met Danny. Where? I thought you were attractive. Really? Yeah.

Should I bang him? If you want to. Is he cute? He's a good looking guy. Yeah. Where are we going? After this? We're going to go see Arctic Monkeys at a private show. I love Arctic Monkeys. Do you? I do. No, I really, really, really do. I swear to God. Can I? Okay. I didn't know you like. No, I mean, I really like them. I'm gonna try to get you in that way. Okay, let's talk about this after. So anyway, so this woman cheats on any sign of the dress. So here's the thing, an Australian man was left heartbroken,

under-sendably angry after he found out that his wife was having sex with one of his best friends. And an advertisement for bride-seeking eventual infidelity, the Sydney-based man labels his wife an adulterous, deceitful, double-crossing, and tritorious soulmate before adding, cosmetically, the garment is in better condition than the marriage, not looking for much, make and offer.

According to the mail online, the ad was written by Dan Campbell, a friend of the husband he writes, do do do do do do married soon, not planning on staying faithful, want to sleep with one of your soon viewers, when his close friends friends. This is the wedding dress for you. So. If people have to dress, that's cool.

But if it if she spent the money on it, that's not good. I mean, this is like he's lash out. The groom was actually rocked when it broke up. Then he got nasty. He went through a lot of crap. They had a divorce settlement. He's happy now. He was laughing actually when I told him all the attention the ads been getting. That just sounds like like people are just trying to retaliate. He's angry and upset. I don't think that's a bad retaliation. It's funny. It could be worse. It's not hurtful. It's not sex tape or something. Yeah, it's not a sex tape. It's not naked photos. They're not, you know, saying all this stuff that's going to disrupt that person's family.

Just on the one dress. You know, it's fine. I can wear it again. Okay, but this one is upsetting. A saled doctor suspended for sexting during surgeries. People got him, put your guy down, cell phone down. If a doctor can not put down his guy down, cell phone during surgery, we should all learn to don't text and drive and don't operate on anyone with freaking cell phone in the man. Doctors and nurses live double lives. I mean. I swear to God, they do. They do. They're like police and people are on this pedestal and I'm like, yeah, please, but you know know when you're a little you look all the doctor They're people too. They party just like you do. I have a friend who is a nurse and she's like clummin all the time Right. Yeah, I know same thing Jesus come in next day without being ever so listen to what this dude did a Seattle and it's these

Anisee theologist who allegedly sent sexually explicit text dozens of times a day while he was supervising C-sections and other surgeries. He had his medical license suspended immediately. So Dr. Arthur Zilberstein, he compromised patient safety because of a preoccupation with sexual matters. So it says that many of the texts were apparently sent minutes apart, including one that read, I'm hella busy with C-sections. Like, I'm hella busy saving lives, delivering birth, delivering children to the planet.

Northern California? Uh, he was in, um, Seattle. Seattle, oh yeah, I said, at least North, because they used the term hella in North. Yeah, they used it here too. You used to use it, do you still use it? Uh, you hate it because people in LA hate it. No, I've hated it.

When I moved to Northern California, I'm like, what's this? Hell, like, what? It is a lot. I just don't like it. Just say a lot then. A lot of it. So, allegedly, he acts as medical images improperly. I'm a lot of it.

Your hell of it. It doesn't make sense. And probably for sexual gratification, and had sexual encounters at his workplace. So, beyond the sexting, he was having sex in his workplace. So he is, oh, and he's also been accused of issuing 29 unauthorized prescriptions for controlled substance. He sounds like a banter doctor, really.

I'm glad that we've taken away. I heard a worse doctor though in the news the same week. I heard this one. What? There was this doctor who was on on crack. And he was like seeing patients while he was on crack. And he was giving prescriptions to people, he was just signing off on stuff

that he never, people that he never even talked to you. And he was letting people in the office that were not qualified to look after someone's patients, but he finally got busted. Doing crack is a doctor. I mean, really, I mean, that's what I don't get about crack and heroin, like those hardcore drugs. You know they're bad, you know, you know, nothing ever comes good out of them. But I mean, I guess if you're desperate and I mean, if you're doing crack,

you probably can get addicted instantly. That's why the feeling is probably don't have access to really good drugs. I mean, whatever is a good drug, versus... No, but heroin crack. I mean, those are like the most like devastating drugs in like, I don't know, pills, but I think the people get addicted and they just can't. That's why they need... I know, but... My point is, why even do...

In the first place? I don't know. People are curious. They're like, I'm just gonna try one. It's curious, I don't know. And there goes my life down the drain. I know. I know you just, people are curious. Like I'm just gonna try one. It's curious, I'm gonna die. And there goes my life down the drain. I know, don't do drugs people. I know you just see faces of meth online all the time of this.

Yeah, like just destroys your face. Yeah, it just destroys. What does meth is speed, right? It just makes you speed in. And it's, yeah, they had the, like, one of the top models. She started doing meth and she looks like a 90-year-old woman. Oh, God. People don't do drugs.

It's bad for you all around. And you could kill people if you're a doctor. I have this stuff. So yeah, it's bad. Say no. It's true that people don't realize they're going to addicted after trying it once. So that's what happens.

OK, there's a new nasal spray claims it will boost the amount of orgasms that women have. The drug known as tiffina is a used as required testosterone nasal gel. It has been designed to use by women who struggle to reach orgasm and apparently test show it's safe and effective for use in dozen call side effects. Developers say they will work towards bringing it to the market after successful trials take place. So the gel designed for treatment of female orgasmic disorder, which is characterized

by difficulty reaching orgasm and distress as a result of this difficulty. During trials, 253 women with a condition in the U.S. can Australia were geech-given. One of three different dose of the drug, or placebo, blah, blah, blah, they had positive results. There's no adverse effects. Although I heard nasal sprays aren't even that you're not supposed to take them because you can get addicted to that. But I guess I'd rather have an orgasm. I wouldn't mind if I'd be difficult if I couldn't have an orgasm. But I'm going to teach you other ways on the show how to have an orgasm so you don't need to take nasal spray. So we can get into the emails from the people unless you have any sex questions for me, menace. My sexual questions are, when are you going to go

to Vegas again and do a seminar? We talked about doing the drunk show last on the last show and in Vegas. And so just you let's go. I'm down. And now you're you can now you're one of the spokespeople for Vegas.com. Yeah. What's your code that people can get discount? Oh, uh, take 10. Just take spell it out and then take 10.

You get a discount Vegas.com. Menace is the embatt. He's like the mayor of Vegas. He already was the mayor of Vegas, but now he's like, especially the mayor of Vegas. But he's never been even been together. So that's where we could do the drunk show. I know. Menace and I, which is funny because we've been talking about. Was it show 169? And now I think, I don't even lost count. I think I've done 2000 shows, but I will show 169 because 69 get it. We're like, we're going to get wasted and we're going to do a drunk show. But we were never in a safe

environment where we could do it. Right. We're at the radio station get wasted and we're gonna do a drunk show, but we were never in a safe environment where we can do it Right we're at the radio station. Yeah, but now Now who cares? Yeah, who cares? Just get wasted. I wonder if I'd be better. Funnier. I'm sure Okay, I'm sure I'll be a lot healthier. Okay. Yeah, you'd be dirty and swear and stuff Okay, increasing stamina without creams. Hi, Emily. I'm a 34 year old guy who's only had four intercourse partners spread out over the course of 16 years. I've had many partners who I've shared oral sex and masturbation with,

but I feel a deeper connection with intercourse, a greater level of intimacy and vulnerability that I've only chose to share with a select few. That being said, I found that I have a little stamina with intercourse. It actually aggravated my last partner after two to three nights together. It's been about 11 years since I've had an intercourse partner and she also chose to pretty much forego foreplay and write into it search him.

I'm greatly afraid to scare off an amazing moment because I can't last long in bed. My question is, is there anything I can do alone to improve in this area and prepare for my next partner? Is this something I should address to my future partners so we can work on it together or worse, is just some unfortunate hand, I've been dealt and must accept my shortcomings. I'm hoping for something that doesn't involve

numbing, desensitizing creams, but a natural way to perform longer. Thanks for your time, Tony G. I already got it for you, but go ahead. What do you say, pre-gaming? Yeah, pre-masteration. It doesn't work for these guys. Totally works. It doesn't. for these guys. Totally works.

It doesn't. Totally works. They'll come after a minute each time. It works for you. If you know, like, okay, I'm probably going to have sex within two hours or so, then totally pre-game. When we're talking about pre-gaming,

they're going to be masterbiting. Yeah, that's minus coin that. But it is true. You could master maybe four sex. But I assume that he's a 34-old man and he's probably tried that. So Tony, here's the deal, I'm not gonna tell you. There are things you can do and it takes commitment

and it takes time, just like I go to the gym and you can't go like twice. You know, and you're gonna get results if you go twice a month, you know, yeah. But this is the kind of thing that you gotta do like every day or a few times a week, but I'm gonna give you some ideas and this is what I recommend to people.

There is the edging or the stop start method. And that's when you start to masturbate on your own and you start at your, you're the base of your penis and you move up to the shaft to where it's more sensitive at the tip until you get towards the frenulum and you just keep masturbating until you get to the point of no return until you're about the frenulum, and you just keep masturbating until you get to the point of no return, until you're about to orgasm,

and then you stop. Wait a few minutes, a few seconds, and then you start again, and then you stop. And this might sound brutally painful, but this will train you to learn your body and to know the actual point where you're about to orgasm, and then you can learn to actually incorporate this during intercourse.

It's the stop start method, it's called edging, all the stuff, but it really does work for men, but you got to stick with it. Another thing that you could add to that, the fleshlight has a stamina training unit and it's the same thing, but you use a fleshlight, which is a male masturbation sleeve, number one male selling sex toy and the standard training is just for this purpose and you can also use this on your penis as you're doing the stop start edging method that will also help you. And if you want to buy one of these you can go to my website and just what is sexwithoutme.com slash fleshlight.

Oh yeah, okay go to sexelm.com and click on the fleshlight banner and then you can see the standard training unit. So that has been really the example. The third thing that you can do is kaggle exercises. And then you can do all, I would say you do all of these. Kaggle exercises are your PC muscles. It's, you know, when you're back,

when you're stop and start the flow of urine and you wanna like, let's say someone's coming to the bathroom and stop those muscles. You tense and relax them. You do it five minutes a day, and that will significantly help you control your erections. I also have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp, and it actually, people, I've heard from more men than women, it's funny because women can do Kegels too.

It helps them have stronger orgasms, it helps them, with urinary and continents after childbirth. There's so many benefits. And the reason why I created the app is because doctors always tell you to do kagal exercises for so it's just important to have a strong pelvic floor. But my app, it, it, you can set a reminder every day because the problem is doctors tell you to do it, no one remembers. So it pops up, you can set it 11.30 a.m. Every time it says, every day, it says time for keg of camp. And so for five minutes, I do the exercise. It's my voice walking you through it,

giving you little tips along the way, and there's 20 levels. So check that out. You don't want to hear about any numbing or desensitizing spray, so I won't tell you about promessant. But promessant is a numbing spray that does desensitizing spray that can help as well.

But I totally get that you want to do it on your own Tony. So I would just commit to it. Like you would any other health routine or nutrition or whatever you're trying to work on. I get it Tony. I get, I mean, that this has got to be frustration for you. And, you know, I know that you think this other woman left you for two to three nights.

I mean, I don't think you have to start out telling them that this is your issue beforehand, but when it happens, the first time you're someone, because this isn't gonna be solved overnight, just make sure that they're pleased. Make sure that they have their orgasm. Make sure that there's lots of foreplay if you know this is gonna happen.

So there's other ways that you can please women. So good luck, try these things, and let me know how it goes. I wanna hear. So commit to this, do this. Good luck, Tony. Godspeed, Tony. Godspeed.

OK. A woman is unable to orgasm. That's a tragedy. I know. It is a tragedy. But it happens. I get these emails every single day. I am 28, and I've been, but it's always different reasons.

So I'm 28. I've been married for over a year now. I was a virgin before marriage. I read about sex and magazines and all and all and had high expectations. But it was in vain. I haven't had an orgasm with my husband the whole time we've been married. Even if he pumps in and out, left and right for 15 to 20 minutes missionary, does nothing at all for me. Doggy legs up. Do make me feel a little sensation but nothing more than that. Oral clit simulation makes me a little wet, but I have yet to orgasm.

I also tend to think about anything and everything else when he's kissing and caressing me. I really want to have and enjoy sex and want, I really want to have and enjoy and want sex for all of it. Please help Bella. Okay, Bella, here's the dealio. No matter how hard he pumps you and throws your legs around and whatever else he does to you, you're not going to probably have an orgasm with him until you have one on your own. Sounds like you've never had one and you probably haven't masturbated.

And so, you know, there are some lucky women, first time they have sex with them and they have an orgasm. Most women need to spend and dedicate some time to their own bodies and getting to know themselves and getting to know themselves, getting to know what makes yourself feel good in the privacy of your own room, you know, when your husband's gone, and just explore, explore your body. It could take you weeks. It could take you a month of doing it every single day, but commit to this process, start by, you know, touching your clitoris.

Like you said, you said it starts to get you a little wet, but, you, but you haven't had an orgasm so you don't really know what to expect. And then you also said, you're thinking about anything and everything else while he's kissing you. So, why is your mind wandering? I'm wondering if you grew up with any issues around sex in your household you waited until you were 28. And so, I'm not sure you've any experience getting to know your own body. So take the time, use some lube, turn on some music, set me, set the atmosphere, and just start touching your body without the expectation of actually having an orgasm because it's not going to happen the first time. You might not even have in second time. It might take you three weeks,

like my friend that we've all heard about a million times, who spent a month every single day trying to have an orgasm. And she, in college, and she finally did, like, the last day of the last week, and she did. And now she's still, like, the most multi-orgasmic person I know. And I believe it's because she just stuck with it and she won't have an orgasm. So I really believe that, that you can try this now. Also, if it's not working for you, get a vibrator. Use a little bullet to start. There's so many great bullet vibrators. Go sexzummy.com, click on the good vibes banner. You can see all the bullets and all the toys because that will really help you as well.

But I'd like you to try it on your own first and just try some things. But I wouldn't feel like there's anything wrong with you. You can also, again, you're married. There's no reason why you, I'd like you to try it on your own, but if you and your husband want to engage in some mutual masturbation, maybe he wants to masturbate you. Maybe he can help you explore your body, but it sounds like expecting that it's just going to happen magically during, and of course, clearly,

as you can see after a year, it's not going to happen. So just know that you're totally fine, you're normal, and we just got to do some work on it. But if you are, again, if you're taking any medication, if you are on antidepressants or maybe some certain birth controls, they could also prevent you from having orgasms. So that's something else you need to check it. I was the same way. I was this woman. I was in 28. I was like 19, having sex. Until I was like 21, never had orgasms. I was like, what the hell? Like what I was blaming 19 having sex until I was like 21 never had orgasm I was like what the hell like what I was blaming the guys. I was like what are they doing wrong? I didn't even know about masturbation and everyone and I grew up in a very liberal home as you know my family

They're fucking crazy But he never cursed me to touch myself. So so I understand Bellas pleat like I understand that thought that it should like someday My prince will come and so will I the guy's gonna ride up and help you but you got to do the work The handy work definitely everything that Emily and help you, but you gotta do the work, the handy work. Definitely, everything that Emily just said, you should do. You agree? I totally agree.

Well, I mean, we get those emails all the time. I know. And they might be a first time listener because you're on Love Line. I am on Love Line, I'm friends. And my catheter would, and you got a ton of more listeners out of the show. So they might not hear us say that. And I know I always say, oh, we get emails like that all the time.

They might not know. But again, there's something that you've been preaching since the beginning of the show. Since the beginning of time. So yeah, that is true. I am on Love Line, naturally, National Syndicate Radio Show. You can also check out the podcast. Love Line. Yeah, it's awesome.

I'm on Thursday nights. Okay, so I just want to take a moment though and thank my sponsors and thank everyone for listening to this show. I love being able to help you have the sex and relationships that you deserve and want. So I want to give you the best show possible and keep it free. So thank you for supporting our sponsors who helped. So let me tell you about Promessant. Did you know one in three men suffers from premature ejaculation?

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I can tell you that. So what? Before we get another email, we haven't talked in the past couple podcasts. Do you have any potential people in your life currently in Los Angeles? But I'm dating. Yeah. I did. I mean, you have those. See, I think getting hooked out through friends is kind of a bad thing because it could go bad. You know? Yeah, but there's a lot of friends. Like a mess up, friends.

Yeah, but this guy, my friend was talking about the beginning of the show. It's not even a friend. It's like a Queen's. And I think that these are friends who are not attached to the outcome. They're like, you guys might like each other and if you don't, you don't. But I think actually meeting friends through friends is a great way because you like your friends. And so if they recommend someone's better than that,

or your friend's single, or you're the only single friend. I'd say that in San Francisco, everyone's single. And here, my friends are more committed, are married. And I did, so I did get fixed up with this guy. We had our first date, two weeks ago ago and we're going out again this weekend. All right. What happened? How was the first day? It was good. It was like a three hour date. We sat and talked the whole time. There was no kissing or anything like that. I know you're gonna ask.

Where'd you go? What'd you do? He went to a West Hollywood. He went to a hip little restaurant. Me, though. And we talked for three. I was one of those like we looked up and three hours ago and by. I got a little buzz. You know me, and out of the big ride to glass wine, I was so hung over the next day. I really liked him. He was really interesting. He's smart.

He asked a lot of questions. He didn't, oh, he didn't Google me. He didn't know what I did. Like he was shot. Like he literally didn't, I thought for sure my friend would tell him. And I always like him like, oh God, I can never, they're gonna know, and he didn't.

So then, but then we ended up talking about work a lot because he was like really interested and fascinated about it. But it was a good gonna know I need in. So then, but then we ended up trying to work a lot because he was like really interested and fascinated about it. But it was a good day. I liked him. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. And I don't know what we're doing. They're going to dinner.

But they're independent of sex. To look forward to seeing somebody. I am. Like the second day. So we'll see what happens. But like, you're done. And honestly, this is like, it's been really busy, like knock on wood.

Thank God for work since I moved here, but I haven't made a lot of time to go out. Yeah, there's even guys that I like, and they text me and like, forget text back, and then I think I'm blowing them off, but really, I guess I am technically, but I really need to take some more time to take. So you totally given up on Tinder.

You know what, I overwhelm me. I hate five matches, I was like, I can't deal. No, I didn't like it. I mean, I liked it, but it was like another thing to answer. Like, I've got emails, I've got Facebook. I don't know. Are your friends still dating on Tinder? I mean, everyone is.

I mean, I turned all the guys on to Tinder because they're too dumb. They didn't know. But no one. Yeah, they've been using it ever since I, because a couple podcasts back, I talked about how I was part of a wedding. And I was one of the wedding and I was one of the groomsman and all the groomsman were single. So my guys are your single. There's a thing out there that women are also obsessed with called Tinder. You need to get on it. So we're

we're at dinner together and I made them all download it because I just want to see how we're at work too. And one of the guys within the first hour had a match. Yeah. And it was already talking to somebody. Yeah, exactly. I mean, everyone's doing it. And I actually did go out. I had a live dinner day on my show.

I went out with one other guy, but honestly, I had so many. I just again, didn't keep up with it because I've been prioritizing. There's too much time. Survival. I would never survive one. No, you wouldn't. You'd have to be able to dictate it. No, just like just the texting and the texting. It's like 85 matches. It's worth it. No, you wouldn't, you'd have to be able to dictate it. No, just like-

Just the texting and the texting. It's like 85 matches. It's the school and the school. Yeah. Right, enough at the back and forth and then you got to check a separate thing. But I'm good though. I feel like there's prospects.

And I'm getting ready to have more fun in my life, free time. Good. Oh, so check this out. Some news. Some news. Speaking about apps and finding people, I just heard about this news story where match.com, have you heard about this?

No. Mashed.com has a service, is for the premium users. And let me tell you, it's for six months and it costs five grand. I don't know who is spending five grand. Oh, it's like a real matchmaker. Okay, tell me. So check this out.

It's part of the premium service. So there's a bunch of other stuff that you get for the five grand that you're spending. Okay. But one of the parts of it is you can upload a picture of your ex and I will search the database to find somebody that looks like your ex. That's, why would you want to date someone that looks like your ex? Well, yeah, that's not the right one.

Because we were talking about, yeah, it's like, oh, I really like how my ex looked. So then you're trying to match. But wouldn't that be, you could maybe use a service, but you can never tell the person that you found said, oh, the reason I found you is because I Look at the pictures it grow from when you start dating and be like real about yeah Or also you bring that person around and people like oh you look so much like That's super is that the only thing you get for $1,000. No, no I made you whether it's like matchmaking and stuff I said if you're spending $5,000 on match You need to spend that five grand on therapy.

Because there's something wrong with you personally, that you need to make that much effort to be able to find something. And to find something that looks like your ass just seems like a big, big, bad mistake. They're your ex for a reason. You want to be staring at the person and skipping your ex the whole thing,

something that's going to involve people, spend your money and other things. Yeah, like therapy. In fact, I think we all need therapy. But a lot of people, I mean, not their exes, but they want, I mean, it would be good for like, hey, I like what this girl looks like and put that in there and say, hey, if there's anybody

that kind of looks like this girl, because that's the type that I like, then that would be cool for the service. Right. But I can also understand that. Like our intern that's in the room with us right now Lauren. She likes big meathead guys She can just find like some muscle magazine, right and then just throw it throw it into the system and find some She says yes thumbs up sure she'd be into that she isn't to that as long as you know your type of types change too, you know

Yeah, but there are guys like I only never day blonde, they only date brunettes the whole thing. So you're off board with this service? Off board with match. With the, with the, uh, finding, using your ex-girlfriends photo or ex-boyfriends photo. So worse. The fucking worst idea I've ever heard in my entire... Yeah, I know a lot of people, you know,

had some, some good times with match and, you know, it's not all bad. It's just some, some, some part of the service. No, match is responsible for with match and, you know, it's not all bad. It's just some part of the server. No, match is responsible for money, and it was all stuff. I get it, but like really, like that's what you're gonna spend all your money on, you can do some other stuff. I'm sure somebody flipped it though.

I'm sure like if you wanna upload some photo of, you know, just get the money. But you've got money. I would say hire a matchmaker then $5,000. Like my friend Amy Lawrence in New York. Crazy Amy for my show. Okay, so one more thing, I actually give a shout out to one more sponsor that I was like, okay, so everyone, one more thing is a flashlight. The number one sex toy for men wouldn't be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having

sex anytime, even when you don't have a partner. The flashlight is the most popular sex toy for men. It simulates the sensations of sex. It was engineered to look and feel like the real deal. Some people think it even feels better than sex. Not that you never want to sex again. And the flashlight's damn interesting. It doesn't talk back to you. It don't talk back to you. And you save a lot of money on, you know, going to movies and dinner. Exactly. Exactly. Think about all that. Take a moment, people.

Get that flash. People freaking love it. I'm telling you guys in my office, it's so funny masks because we got a shipment and guys are like stalking the off the lawn. My assistant they're like hey do you think I could maybe try and like only if you review it and they all freaking love it. So push your experience when you're bimbling orgasms of your life and people like I've got my hand it's fine what else do I need. But just try the flashlight and then we'll talk because you're gonna love it. So also if you're a fan of size about having sex with a porn star you can get one that is shaped in the mold of Jenna Jamison's Bits,

Christie Mack, Joanna Angelina Hartley, all these people, and so check it out. Go to sexwithanley.com slash flashlight that's sexwithanley.com slash flashlight. You will thank me. I promise. Okay, so we get time for... Yeah, we're getting time for one more. Before I go to the Arctic Monkieshow. Okay, so we got time for Yeah, we're time for one more before I go to the Arctic

Arctic monkey show. What okay, so where is it? It's in Burbank, California. Okay, so I'll just go with you after this Yeah, I got to figure a way to get you in you know People have been getting into this movie for the I'm a movie the show for the past month now I have to try to get you in, you know, 30 minutes before it happens, but you know, whatever. Well, I, you know, hey, it's okay. Okay, so, but let's get through this because we gotta go the show.

All right. Okay, hey Emily, you're the greatest. I have some more questions for my favorite sex expert. Number one, could you have another sex ed episode? Two, what do you think about Arotica? Where do you go for Arotica? And what are your tastes? I've been thinking about masturbation

and your 30-day challenge. What do you recommend to get my toy tower started? I've never masturbated hence never had sex. So I've never orgasmed and I wanna get it all out. Smiley face, thank you, Sydney. Okay, so another sex episode, we did do sex ad. We'll do that again, that was fun. Yes, that's a good idea.

What do I think about Arotica? I think it's amazing. ROTICA is amazing. I mean, you could read ROTICA, you could watch videos. I would say, go to Good Vibrations, VOD, they did this video on demand. You can click on the banner on the sex on the website and you pay per minute.

But they've curated the best porn for women and couples and stuff. That you could check out there. You could also probably find some other stuff online that you like. Erotic literature, some great stuff. There is by Rachel Kramer-Bussell. Every year she runs awards. She writes some amazing erotica.

Beared to you by Sylvia Day, the claiming of sleeping beauty by Anne Rice, sweet addiction by Maya Banks. Also, you can check it out. I'm trying to think where else the average or cream a bustle. The best erotica, there's always these big best erotica things, but again, at goodvibes.com,

you can check them all out. There's like some great erotica. As far as toys, if you've never had an orgasm, I would say that you should start with a bullet, because that's a simple toy that's not for insertion. You can put on your clitoris and start to play around. Use lube. Lube is very important for women.

Don't use a sly volume fingers, but you want to use a little lubricant. And I love that you're going to do the masturbation 30 day challenge because that is what I'm all about. Take 30 days and don't expect to have a master. You know, don't expect to have it organized on the first day. Touch your nipples, like play around with your whole body and get into your body. Not just your friggin vagina, clitoris, the whole thing, but start to learn what else makes you feel good.

And I think erotic, a porn, reading, watching, whatever it is, we'll turn you on. Go for it. Try something new every week and you'll enjoy it. So good luck to you. Oh, also, I love the Mimi too. If you go to sexliving.com, click on Good Vibes. The Mimi Retardable Vibrator is one of my favorites of all time. You may not have seen it, but you know I talk every day and you love it. So that's why I got to say, I'll use coupon code GVMLE20 for 20% off. And that is what we have time for today, Mattness.

I know. Anything else that you'd like to say to me before we depart and go to the concert? I love your throwback denim today that you're wearing. Do you like it? Yeah. Yeah, my little tank. It's down. I'm bringing it back.

Has it ever been gone though out? I mean, there's points in time that I don't like it, but you have it together. But I'm rocking it, right? You're rocking it today. Okay, good. Thank you. That's good.

I appreciate it, honey. Well, thanks to you. Thanks to you. Thanks. Thank you for being here. It's good to see you it, honey. Well, thanks to you. Thanks. No, thanks. Thank you for being here. It's good to see you. Yeah, you too.

And we'll see you all again soon. And thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemlee.com. Okay, everyone. I got to tell you about NoNo. I am obsessed with my NoNo Pro.

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