Sex With Emily - Roleplay, Foreplay & Premature Choking

Episode Date: May 7, 2016

On this show Emily is joined by the funny and talented ladies of the Wild Horses improv team. Together with Menace, they dive deep into their masturbatory memories and explore their sexual desires in a good old-fashioned Sex With Emily roundtable discussion. Mary, Lauren, Erin and Stephanie open up about their respective experiences dating in the L.A. comedy scene, weigh in on the worst parts of porn, and divulge some of their deepest fantasies. The ladies produce quick and dirty answers to Emily’s top 5 sex questions, and help her answer an email on body insecurities in the bedroom. From sexual improv and surprising turn ons to a real live simulated Harry Potter role-play, this show is packed with excitement. If you want to get wild with the Wild Horses and Emily, grab a saddle and have a listen! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show I'm joined by the four talented members of the Wild Horses Improv Troop for another tell-all female round table. We'll be going in depth and all things sex and things are gonna get there. I say, wild? Thanks for listening. I have a question for you. Would you go to the grocery store and pick out just one type of food to eat for every meal every day? Of course not. So why would you limit yourself to just one type of sex toy? That would be my biggest nightmare. So think of Adam and Eve.com, like a sex toy supermarket.

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When you select your one item at 50% off, you'll get three free adult DVDs, you know, for little inspiration, plus an extra free gift and free shipping on your entire order. They do not go into shipping because that's what I hate. So check out AdamNew.com today for this special offer, 50% off one item, type Emily, for the offer code to check out and when you do three free DVDs, free shipping, free stuff, use code Emily at Adam and Eve.com. My car sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes. They call them in a bike on day. Hey, Abelie.

You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta have a stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm so, so, so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Abelie's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. You got that right. Anything in everything. Anything in things in between for more information go to sex with Emily dot com. You got that right anything and everything. Anything and everything in between. It doesn't matter. We do it all. And thank you everyone for subscribing on iTunes. It's so easy. You subscribe. There's a great little button on our site because we do two shows a week and you'll ever miss it. And and minus loves when you review the show. Yeah, if you I see I've seen there's a significant amount of it.

I ask for the work, but you ask men. Yeah, please, because I guilt-tripped them, I go, look, you don't have to, you don't have to pay a dime for the show, nothing, it's free content. All you gotta do is do us a favor and go to iTunes and click that review button. And you know, give your honest review. Unless you want to. Emily would love for you just to give us five stars and say how much you love it. I'm used to getting beat up and people hating me so don't worry about it. Also it's not just there on iTunes. Anywhere you listen or how you listen to the podcast please just put a little comment. Put a comment, tell your friends. If you're like, hey, I learned something, tell your friends. It just helps because I really want to do the show forever, which my whole dream is always to find what I want to do forever.

And I think I haven't talked to men. It's about this yet. But I'd like to go back to doing it a few more days a week. Oh, really? Right now with you two. And I'd like to do it 10 days a week. Well, you're building your own sex with Emily Compound and putting you off as a- Yeah, putting a whole studio together so you can do that.

I don't see why you can't do that. Yeah, I think it will. Yeah. So thanks everyone for that. And also for following us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and now Snapchat. It's all at Sex with Emily across the board. Wow. And subscribe to our newsletter if that's not right. If you're getting addicted to Snapchat, which is great. I had a moment where I know it's so funny though because we're with my nieces I've been like wait show me. I don't get it. They're like oh and I mean I love me But I was like they've been on forever and then I started watching yours. I'm like this is really cool And it does they don't really give you instructions and then I everyone if you're on such a you know this But then I took a few minutes the other day and I

Focused, which is really hard, but when I do amazing things happen, I'm like, I'm gonna get it, it's genius, it's so fun. So you can just check out what's going on. Let's go feel the going on. Yeah, and then people they heard, you mentioned that the Snapchat that I run is for the boarding show that I'm part of called the Woody show, and it's mostly like food

and are like, the events that we go to. Sure, true. And then also the Woody show is a podcast. We podcast every day. It's about pop culture and a news and stuff like that. It's not, there's barely any sex stuff in there. So if you're not gonna. This is where you get.

If you're looking for a podcast, then that's the big two. That is not it. No, but it's a funny show and everyone loves it and loves you. And it's awesome. Thank you. So check that out the Woody show and also I'm going to San Francisco next week. Oh, what yeah, I'm taking a class. Oh my god Put San Francisco and a class together

Fuck what is it? It's not I'm not getting on your nipples. What? Oh well, maybe on my date, but not that no it's are you going thereer under nipples. What is it? Well, maybe on my date, but not that. No. Are you going there for penis because you're single? No, no. Oh, what?

Dude, if I want penis, it's for sure an LA not that I'm just gobs. I was there long enough. I was with every penis since I was a gopher. There aren't many. Yeah. It's a very small town. It's a small city. It's just getting.

Members of Celeste and Danielle who were on the show. Yeah. Celeste and the sex. They do this thing called, they were on and they were like come to our somatica training and somatica is a type of therapy and it's actually over six month period. I'm going to go every other week, every once a month for five days and I'm going to learn it's like a therapy technique where I can really help myself out with a listener as it's about attachment, how we attach to each other, how to really understand What you want sexually from a partner how to talk about it

I mean a lot of things I talk about but I think in life you always have to be you know learning and educating yourself more So you can always keep growing in your career Wait, so you're gonna be once a month back in San Francisco for five days? Yeah, like a lot We got it's like Thursday to Monday, but I'm really excited because I haven't really done anything since my sex school And I love learning and what ex-wife are you going to stay with in these five days? They all like tapped out like they're married or a week. Although you know what's funny and ex did circle back last night, he's like out of the

blue, you must have known. He's like, when you get back, I miss you. The well must be dry. The well is dry. Yeah, exactly. He just got to horse. Oh yeah. I am sleeping at my ox's house,

but he's gonna be out of town. I knew it. He's not gonna be out of town every single time. He's, but this time he is. Yeah, I know. That's why I'm staying. Oh, then eventually you're gonna have sex though. And so many friends, no, you know what?

He's a girlfriend, but. You're sleeping at his house for five days. It's fine. Every month. Yeah. You're gonna go down on him, like, on the second. He has fine. Every month. Yeah. You're gonna go down on him like on the second. He has a really nice penis. I have to say his penis is spectacular. But that's not why I'm so friends with them. Because obviously I don't get to see

the penis. So also I just need to welcome everyone. Welcome to masturbation month. It's my favorite time of year. Love it. People say that about Christmas and stuff. But I love masturbation month because we've got so many great things planned. We've got blogs, show topics that are really going to take your masturbation to the next level because it's not just about your solo time. It's about mutual masturbation, how to get more orgasms, how to get more pleasure really and how to understand your body.

We're doing giveaways. We're doing a get tight for some or give away. And this is a contest to encourage pelvic floor health because you know that I am obsessed with pelvic floor health. It's important for men and for women. So just take out the website for more details because what we're doing contest, we're doing a few of them, but we want to know how you self love. Tell us your masturbation routine, lighting candles, you know porn, do you have like a sex solo sex playlist? Like I wanna know how you do it,

like how, you know, like for women, like some women have their little, like, they have to be on their stomach or back where they use this toy or that toy. Men, I don't know what you guys do. You sit in front of your laptop with your pants, down to your knees. It's all different. I wanna know what you guys do.

So email me and we've got some masturbation-friendly prizes and you know I've got to get stuff. Cool. Yeah. And then recently we did a podcast which was probably one of my favorites, the Drinking with Emily podcast. Turns out it's called, did you see what, Drinking with Emily turns out, turn on's, turn off's and tequila. All right.

So we did our drinking show at the house, men's night, we finally had it. We would talk about it for years. My apartment, the whole team was there, the whole section family team, and it was a hilarious show, no editing. No limits. Yeah. That was pretty. It's very open. I know, it's very open.

Because I think a couple of your staff hate me. No. And then saw how to tell them. They don't hate you, they were afraid, they thought that maybe you, they didn't understand, they don't know you because you come in, we do the show and you leave. And I'm like, no, men, this is the bomb.

I love men, we hadn't hung out in part even a long time So I it was just I felt like family and I loved it and they don't think you they just threw men Cuz you'll put you off that thing What I explained it. Yes, we all explained it now. We're all love with you. We want to have a do it every week Every week. I don't know if I can handle it. It was a little much. I'm glad you stayed out as ladies you did. I know. It was way past my bedtime. Food was good.

Okay, so now quick shout out to our sponsors and we'll be back for the sex of the news and then our guests, which I love, they're hilarious and we'll be back. Okay, it's time to talk about what's in your pants. And for once, I'm not talking about your penis. Imagine that. I'm talking about your underwear. Okay, think about it. It doesn't matter if you're wearing a suit or wearing sweats. You spend almost 24 hours a day in your underwear. And not only that, on some of those days, someone else might see you in your underwear. So obviously, you want a pair

that makes you feel comfortable and confident. Now, for me, this has been a challenge. You know, there's always this underwear that like feel really comfortable, but like they don't look that good, advice versus a, but have you tried me undies? They are seriously, they are so stylish and they are the softest underwear in the world. I love them, they're comfortable.

And you might be hearing about them a lot. And I thought like, what is this you order underwear online? But like, I'm like blown away by them. And I was like, can I get some more? And you know that I am an expert, I have to say, about what goes on down there. And in my professional opinion, if you're not wearing me on these or giving a try, you are doing something wrong. Every pair of mayonnaise, they're made

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whether anyone can see them or not. And if you don't even like them, if you're like, oh, these aren't for me, I don't like these meandies. They're free. No questions asked. And so right now, sex with Emmy listeners can save up 20% off your first order. Shipping's free in the US and Canada. And you save up to $8 a pair with the meat undies subscription plan. Just go to meundies.com slash Emily. That's meundies.com slash Emily and save 20% and get some fancy panties that are comfy. Okay, there's a study bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more

about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more about the next time. I'm going to be a little bit more wrong but the quote it's funny that you say this I know some of the hottest women ever

and they love it a do we guy over a six pack guy I think that that's very very but I want to see her the reason there's reasons okay you're going to love this the question still stands though why do women like the six pack what makes women fall for guy because of it turns out it's just in our minds in a real world in a real the real in the real world a recent study revealed that three and four women would choose a man with love handles over one sporting a six pack. The woman claimed, when it comes to real life, we don't want chiseled perfection in our bed.

So why don't they want a hot, buff, perfect man? I know, weird. Do you know why? Why? The sad answer is we're worried we won't shape up. 74% of women in the survey said they'd feel self-conscious taking their clothes off of one of a perfectly toned man. We feel far more comfortable with flab

because it's less threatening. And women, we are under so much pressure to look a certain way and to be a certain way, and we're so worried about things that having guys not like doing the sick fact sit up all the time, take some of that pressure off of us. And this is kind of funny though. I love to meet a female who sex life isn't affected

by a fat day, and I've yet to meet a man who is letting fat stop them from having sex. Yeah, and what you have said you've had a fat day where you ate too much and didn't feel like having sex. Oh yeah, all the time. That's after like being in Vegas, being in Vegas at like a buffet and things like that Which you find very attractive and sexy, but no way it's funny because I forget Chris Pratt go back for seconds Chris

Pratt the actor he's married to On a fair. Thank you And she said because Chris Pratt he fluctuates from when he's like super in shape for some movies and then he's doughing other movies. And she said that she prefers him a doughy over super fit. It's true. And the same guy, Jim from the office, sorry, I'm really bad with names, but Jim from the office.

I don't even watch TV. Yeah, he just recently got in shape and his wife Emily Blunt liked him the other way versus being super in shape. So maybe they are saying that for the media, but it makes me feel good and I support it. I thought you'd like that. Thank you. Okay. That's all I got for sex and news because we have our wonderful guest here.

Yes. Okay. I want to introduce the Wild Horses women. How do Wild Horses troop amazing talent? Troop works, or see. You're all female long form improv show in LA. What is that? You're making a special hour group.

I have a special hour group. You're all super talented on your own right. Comedians, actors, improv, and then I met you. Well, Laura and I first met you at Bangering. Yeah. That was amazing. I'm Friday night, every, and then I met you. Well, Laura and I first met you at Bangering. Yeah. That was amazing. I'm Friday night.

Every Friday night or one Friday night? Yeah, we do a show every Friday night at UCB in LA. And you came and answered to sex questions from the audience, and it was so fun. Everyone, I mean, it was really great to see people open up in the audience and raise their hand and be like, I keep dating someone who wants to choke me. Yeah.

You know. And so I love the format, and it was the same thing for the world. I keep dating someone who wants to choke me. You're right. Yeah. Who would help? And so I love the format. And the same thing for the world. Of course, we came on. We talked about sex. And then they do improv. So everything we've talked about,

they do improv after it. And I'm just in awe because they're so amazingly talented. And I wish I really actually went to my improv class that I set up for. Oh, I got one to D in improv. They made me take it. No, when I went to film school, they made me take it.

That was terrible. I think it's like the best training for really good. Well, it's essentially in this business, but for anything, right? Just for comfort and everything. So, okay, so let's go around. You guys can just introduce yourselves, tell your name, what you do,

and how often you master it. You're talking about it. Wow. Because we're breaking it down. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not comfortable. I have to go. An astribute. No, we just want to go. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. My name is Mary Holland. And I am, what else was I supposed to do? What do I do? What do I do? I will be giving it all of your contact. And it will also be in our site.

You're welcome to throw it on your Twitter or whatever you want. Okay, great. My Twitter is at M-Halland85. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. I am an actor. What do I do? I will be giving it all of your contact and it will also be in our site. You're welcome to throw out your Twitter or whatever you want.

Okay, great. My Twitter is at M. Holland 85. I am an actor and comedian. I have a performance, a price citizen's brigade every week. And I would say that I masturbate daily, probably. Oh, nice. Yes, I would. I would.

Okay. I'm so excited about this. Do you guys have to learn about each other? I know. Okay. We're at least excited about this. Do you guys have to learn more each other? I know, it's interesting. My name is Lauren Lapkiss. I basically also do all the same things as Mary. I'm an actor and comedian, and you can find me at Lauren Lapkiss on Twitter.

And I would say I masturbate a couple times a week. Yeah. Okay. It's big and nice. Hi, I'm Erin Whitehead. I'm also an actress writer, comedian. And I go through spurs where I could not go for like six to eight months.

And then I'll go daily for a couple of weeks, but then I'll just drop off again. Go. Yeah. Yeah. I hear you. Yeah. Well, fast, fast. Great. that's a lot. Great.

Um, Stephanie Allen, my Twitter is at Steph Allen, and I'm also an actor and comedian at UCB. And I also masturbate. I would say maybe like four or five times a week. Okay, let's get comfortable here. No, that was like four-prite. Okay, so tell get comfortable here. No, that was like four play. Okay, that's me more. Okay, so tell me, so I, well, hold on, how long can you stay?

Yeah, you made everybody else share. All right, well, I'd be honest with you. So my job is to masturbate. I mean, truly, the guy, you know, I get sexed 25 pounds of sex toys delivered to my office every week. I mean, I just, I need to. And I think it's become some procrastinator.

Maybe I've been putting it off, I think, because I'm like, I have so many toys and I'm overwhelmed. No, but I typically would be, I go in phases. So sometimes I'll do it every day. And but lately, I feel like the last two months, it's just been, I think I need to more, because I've been stressed out, but I would say it's been like once a week.

But that all go and phase words like toy today, or like I don't leave my house on a Saturday, you know? So it's lunchtime. I can't do anything done. I can't do anything done exactly. I mean, so, you know, like I'm answering, like I'm taking notes and it's work, but yeah. I'm gonna do it more though.

Now, that we're talking about it. Maybe two good guys. You don't always ask everyone that on the top of the mountain. I'm gonna talk about that. What about you, Menace? What about it. Maybe two good vibes. You don't always ask everyone that on the top one. I know. Have you guys had a talk about that? What are you menace? What are menace do they do?

You don't watch porn. I'm not gonna talk. No, I don't watch any porn. And the French bulldog is always around looking at me. You gotta get over that. Do you have to describe the dogs or do dogs that you worry about watching you sex? I don't really care about animals watching,

but if they're just staring staring I feel like that is weird It is and she'd never stopped staring at me constantly I'm trying to leave the room And then she cries in a feel bad She's still a new puppy Sometimes I feel guilty if I'm asked to be next to my cat in that like she's just lying there I feel like you don't know what I'm doing right It's weird

Of course she does Yeah, again the moment Okay, so tell me about like wild horses I know what I'm doing. It's weird. Of course she did. I know. Yeah, again, the moment. Okay, so tell me about like wild horses. How did you all be? So you've all been doing stand-up, yeah, UCB? Or are you doing improv? Yeah, I got it.

Tell me. We all knew each other from different stuff. We were in a book club together and I think that's kind of where we started to get to know each other better, but we started hanging out more like just as a forceum. And then we went to, I got invited to do an improv festival that was all female. And so I put together this team because I didn't have a female team. And I was like, who do I want to travel with? So I picked like the more fun people that I knew. And then we ended up having good shows.

So we kept performing together. How long have you guys been doing it? I've been doing it for a couple of years. I was like three years. Two or three years? Yeah, two or three.. Two or three years. Yeah, two or three, yeah. And how do you think, how is improv help your everyday life, do you say?

I think improv, well, it really trains you to be in the moment and listening is so important in improv. So I think that it just, it keeps you, keeps you present and keeps you in the moment I find in life. Well, it really helps my mind. It really strengthens my relationships too, I think, because I'm so, I am the improv, yeah, trains you to just listen and be curious more and so I feel like I'm much more engaged in my relationships. Yeah, it makes sense. And it seems so common for people to need to control something or have something

tight or go a certain way or get in their head. It goes this, this, this, and this in every capacity in different areas and it's like an improv, you're like that will ruin the scene, that will ruin the scene. That will ruin everything. And so then, I feel like I see that in life too. It's like, oh, you gotta just, this is how your wedding's going. So you go with it.

Exactly. You're more likely to go with the flow because life is not neat. It's messy. Like, they never go the way you're supposed to. So that's what I like about it. Because the thinking that it has to go perfect and memorize all the lines and stuff for you guys

are, but just the way your minds work too. It's brilliant. You have to go see the their imbrawick. I was just I'm like, I'm always always fun to watch. But it was like, but they're you you were also just very, very talented. So I want to check it out. And I'm telling you, I'm always always fun to watch. It is. So impressive. Why? I mean, I'm sure you guys judged improv way more than I would. As, right? Since you do it. I mean, if you would go this sucks.

You've done a lot. I think well. I'm usually just an audience member who's had a lot to drink. So I think everything's hilarious. You're that guy. Yeah. I do. But I'm not like, I'm definitely not going to be heckling you,

but I probably wouldn't judge you as much. Yeah, that's nice. Are you in relationships? Yes't judge you as much. Yeah, that's nice. Are you in relationships? Yes. Okay, I am. I don't go through a divorce at this time. Okay. So that's me.

Okay, so not in a relationship. I'm not in a relationship. Okay. And I am recently married. Oh, congratulations. Thank you. Okay, so what about being so you've been single in LA? What do you good think about dating in LA?

How do you make people? I find it very hard. I feel like I tried, okay, Cupid, and I tried, you know, e-harmony. I tried all that stuff. I didn't know that you did that. I didn't know that you did that. I did, well, I've been with my boyfriend tried all that stuff. I didn't know that. You did. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. And I think I really started to meet people and have an easier time of it when I started taking improv classes and fell into a community of people with similar interests. And that made it a little bit easier,

but before that it just felt like impossible. So is it because you feel more confident and easier to talk people? Is that why? Because your skills are used to have a community that made you a kind of both. I think the community also like, yeah, I was getting more confident because I was like doing something that I like to do and I was having a fun time doing it. But also, it just was easier to meet people because people in your class would have a

birthday party and you'd meet people through friends versus like, I'll just go to a bar and hope to meet somebody. So you can tell people exactly. Because you can see about everyday questions. You're like, how do I meet someone? And I never do. It's like, leave your house. Do something that interests you.

Take a class, do something. So that's a perfect example. What about dating? Like, have you lived here a while and dated and all that stuff? Well, it's weird because I before I got married I dated a lot in improv community too but like that was to me I was like are we just hanging out and when I never felt like I went on a date or we were dating but then I was with someone and I was like what are what is this? Like, it felt like teenagers hanging out at houses

and having very casual, hooking up whenever we felt like it. There wasn't really anything that was like, what I was looking for at all. That's exactly what you're dating now. So you summed it up. People, I feel like there's not a lot of commitment happening right away. There's a lot of hanging out. like there's not a lot of commitment happening right away.

There's a lot of hanging out. There's like not a lot of... There's no label sketch. Yeah. Everyone. Let's not put a label on it. So annoying. That's what they're really moving for.

Just go, years ago, we started the show. And now it's just like, that is the way. Now I was like, how do I ever guide? Never ask you out like me, meet up with my friends. But now it's like, no one's even looking for it. Seems that way. Yeah.

I've heard from my single friends that it's like super hard in LA, more than other cities that they've lived in, that people just really don't want to commit or like go out again. Like it's just very vague, like a lot of the ghosting or whatever. Ghosting, yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. But I feel like that too, like on the other end of it where it's like, well I have this tomorrow and then I have that. So here are the days I'm free at 11 p.m.

and then oh that doesn't work for me. All right I'll check back in a month. Right, yeah. Because everyone is so you're right everyone's so busy and it is hard to pin it down. But I guess you know you also five people when you're at the right time when someone else is because to say that it's the everyone thinks that they live in the worst town. I would just go without New York LA. I think everyone when think everyone, when you're seeing, like, it's just hard. But I think, you know, if you're out there and you're, you know, you do meet people. I mean, I, I don't know. I think it's all dating.

I mentioned this before in past podcasts, but the single girls that I know in Los Angeles, they tell me that the guys, at least that they're talking to, are never actually doing what they want to do for a living So at all their free time is focused on that so they have a day job But they want to do improv so at night. They're doing improv Yeah, so they're yeah, the free time is constantly taking up and they don't have any time to put into relationship or wanting to just be in a You know, maybe a financial situation that they're not it like I feel like there's so many people that are like Yeah, I want to get married and have kids, but once all of these things happen

Yeah, and until then I can't really commit to this because if I then go that route I could lose everything I've built and so then you're in this like conversation of it's it's like who wants something to be with somebody that's fearful of their security. It's true. I don't know security. It's true. I think I've got to make the career first before I can ever do anything else and like

what any of the both sound simultaneously, but I'm guilty of that. I think it was an excuse to avoid intimacy, but I didn't do that for a long time. I did that too. I did that too. I just have to work. I would love to be in a relationship, but you know, I've got to work. You can come over and bring your laptop. We know those are my dates for a really long time. I just have to work, I would love to be in a relationship, but I've got to work. You can come over and bring your laptop,

and those are my dates for a really long time. So being calm to them, do people expect you when you're on dates, do they expect to be funny, or how does it affect your dating and relationships? I think for myself, I've always tried to avoid people who expect anything like that. For me, I think it's a natural thing to be funny in conversation,

but I remember going on a few dates with like, I'm a long time ago and I was actually like, I was like 20, but like, it was all with improv guys. You kind of naturally have that, but then if I go out with someone who doesn't do that at all, then there is a little bit of that. I mean, I was really young though. It's hard to say comparatively,

but I think typically it's a lot easier for comedians to do other comedians. Yeah. I was gonna ask that though, if if you would if you do like dating other comedians because I know somewhere like no I wouldn't want to because we're all messed up I mean this is just some comedians but there are more comedians stand up not improv right yeah very distinct difference yeah I don't think you guys are as messed up Thank you so much. I do fight. Well, it's to me like it's less about like I want to date someone who's funny. And more that there's just there's a similar like wavelength that's happening. Like we're doing bits and we're, you know, it just, I have only really dated or been interested

in other comedians, other improvisers, and I think it's because, like, oh yeah, we're like on the same page, yeah, versus, I think if I tried to date someone who, like, was in finance, it would be, it would take a lot of adjusting because we're just on totally different. I don't know. The way you communicate. Yeah, the way you communicate. They wouldn't get all the spreadsheets

and if you're like, it doesn't matter. It's all going to work out. It's all right. But we need to last down. Yes, hand. Right, yes, hand. I totally agree with that statement because my girlfriend, she worked in radio.

So she totally gets it, like, I need to leave right now and go record something or something like that. And people that I dated in the past are like, oh, you're gonna leave right now? Boba, what are you doing? When I'm out working at a concert or something like that. You need some support, you career.

They'll be totally annoying, but now it's just like she gets it, she worked in the industry. So I understand like dating somebody that does something exactly that you do. It makes it a lot easier. Well, the hour is too or a lot more understandable and forgiven.

When I'm dating somebody who gets asked to do an 11 o'clock show last minute, I'm not like, what the fuck are you doing? I'm like, I'm dating somebody who gets asked to do an 11 o'clock show last minute, I'm not like what what the fuck are you going? I'm like, yeah, you're like, what do you like? Yeah, I've like definitely seen that be destructive for religious people. Don't both do this like when one person's doing improper whatever where you have these weird late nights and the other person doesn't do that and that would be the time you spend together. You're not giving them that time, which it makes sense for what you want to do, but it doesn't necessarily work for that relationship. Right.

Yeah. But there's like a priority thing too, because I feel like there's, I feel like there's a point where, no matter how much you love it and you're doing it, you still want to at some point be like, but I do sometimes want to choose the relationship over like 11 o'clock last minute show if we had plans.

You know, like, definitely. That's true. That's a really good point. A career one thing, but if it's like yet another indie and rough show with 20 people in the audience, right? So what's more important? What are you doing? Yeah, then you just don't care about your relationship right? It's a balance. It's all about okay. I Just want to let you know that it's masturbation mom. So well, it's masturbation month. It's May

Hence the question They weren't here at the beginning but May is masturbation month. So it's it's a very important month. It's my favorite month of the year. And so I want to ask you guys some more questions now that we already warmed up with how often frequently you masturbate. When did you first start masturbating? Do you remember when you first like wow, because some girl were little girls and they were like in the shower or riding a horse, you know, girl or little girls and they, you know, they were like in the shower or like writing a horse or, you know, or, yeah, I'm just curious when you discovered it all. Um, I started very, very young. I discovered like in preschool. Um, and I remember, I remember just thinking everybody knew about it.

I was so excited when it'd be nap time, because then I'd get to lay on my cot and just like move around a lot. I have other friends then. I was late, but I didn't know I was like 20. So yeah, I started very, very young. But I have a lot of shame wrapped around it because I remember I would do it sometimes in school, like in elementary school.

God, I think I probably told you guys this very, but there's one time in fifth grade that our desks were clumped together in these little clusters, and so we were all the four of us at the cluster would be facing each other, and I was just kind of like rocking back and forth on my seat. And... You were doing that in probably the night. That was weird. That's weird. You were a Mary. No, I wasn't.

No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't. You should know. Yeah, I was just listening. But I, and I, I just thought, well, nobody notices or it's going to be fine. And then one of the guys at the desk was like, hey Mary, why do you go like this a lot? And I like my heart just dropped into my

stomach and I was like, is this not a thing that I just immediately just so much shame around it? I mean I kept doing it. I just won't do it at school. Yeah, I think that, I'll never forget that moment, because I was like, oh, you don't do this in public. Right, did your parents ever say anything to you? Did you go home and check? Oh, my, oh, man. I mean, there's so many times that, like,

I remember this one time I was supposed to be going to bed and my mom, when I was like, I have bunched up my covers and I was like, going at it. And my mom came in and I pretended like I was asleep on the covers. And yeah, there was so many times that I was caught. Right. But you still do it every day. Stuck it at the past. That's awesome.

Yeah. I wish it were. Yeah. Yeah. Good. at the place. That's awesome. I wish it were. Yeah. OK. Lauren. I don't think I had a couple moments of kind of experimenting with that when I was growing up.

But I think it wasn't really until I went to college that I really got figured out what it was more. And I think maybe that was the freedom of not being at my parents' house or something. Like I think like I always had like a door that wouldn't close all the way growing up. You know, just like I always had like things that made it more difficult for me to have like real privacy, I think. And my house is like small. You can just hear everyone like I can hear my dad cough

and you know, it's like it's like, it's like great. But I think so I think once I was like even though I had a roommate in my dorm in college, my freshman year, I still was like, now I'm figuring it out. And like, I would like take risks with her like in the room and just be like, oh my god. I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, touch her after that too. Which is like less privacy than I had before. But I'm like, whatever.

Yeah. How you learn to do it so quietly? So you do that too? Yeah, that's true. Quiet. Quiet masturbation. Well, I still remember too. Like, this wasn't masturbation,

but I remember hearing about it. And I had no idea what it was or what you would do. And so when I was like, probably between 11 and 13, 15, I would just pretend my hand was a guy's hand and feel myself up, like over and over. Like, because I would put my hand on there and nothing right like I don't know people do But I didn't know movement or anything like that so I would just keep pretending that there was a guy feeling them And I'd like imagine he was like you're so amazing

Visual to be able to visualize that and I get yourself turned on story one and I would just keep restating I was like I don't know what happens after those As far as I've got. How old were you? Like, anywhere? I bet that started at like 11 or 12 and then like I didn't figure out until a guy went down on me. My first boy was like, oh. When down on me and then I was like, oh.

Right. Now I got. That's good. The first time and it just worked like that. Yeah. And I was like, this is, oh, I get what this is. And then figured out the motion. But yeah, in college, I, I get what this is. And then figured out the motion, but yeah, in college,

I can't believe I did. I'm sure she did too. Right. But I remember being like, yeah, just like, I control my breathing. So you're not even like breathing heavily. Yeah, so the way I wanted her to know, she was like the worst.

She watched Golden Girl the other time. So Golden Girl's was playing while I was playing. Yeah, exactly. And she's like, I'm so white. And it's weird when you think about it yet. I was mostly, um, literal, well, we'll get, okay, first of all, Stephanie, we'll get your answer. Um, I also started very, very young.

Um, like, I think preschool, very young, but I didn't know what I was doing. They don't tell you. Yeah, of course. Of course. Or just like, this feels great. Like, trying different things. Like, not, not even even knowing it was sexual because you don't know what sex is It's just like this feels good and then I stopped and I don't really know why and then I didn't start again until Maybe 20

19 or 20 Okay, fair. I'm just always cute. You are. How have you been? What are you most? Me? I'm around this. I think I was in junior high. It's weird because no one ever told me about it. Somehow I just figured it out by myself. So guys do, you buy your pizza. Oh, this thing's sticking out. I touched it by mistake.

Women can't be more challenging. There was never a discussion about her. No one tells you anything. That's why we're here. We're telling people. How do you master it? Yeah, I think my friends didn't even talk about it. No, no one talked about it.

See, that's why I, so my friends, I, I, I, maybe they did, I wasn't listening. Maybe it wasn't paying attention, but I never, didn't even know about orgasms. It occurred to me, I had like a very liberal home, like growing up, but I had sex, it wasn't that good. I was like, it's okay, I'll do it. And then one of my friends was like,

well don't you have orgasms, I was like 20. I was like, what? What is that, what do you mean? And I know. Mary's a piece of like look of horror on her face. Well, I get it. Yeah, I remember, because I used to have them, well, I would bring myself to the point of orgasm when I was so young,

but and I didn't know what it was. I thought I was like dying or like something crazy happening. And so I would say this word when it was happening. And I go alert, alert, alert! That's so good. It felt like, oh my god, okay, dangerous, dangerous, and I got so scared to bring myself to, I would do it, because it feels good, but then wouldn't ever, I don't think it was until college that I fully was like, oh, I can survive this way. It's so great.

Yeah. It's so good enough information about it. I don't know. No, I don't. They really don't, because it's so bright. Yeah. Yeah, we still get enough information about it. We know, I know. I don't know if they really don't, because it's just all about porn. So that's kind of a bummer. Do you guys watch porn? Yeah, I do.

How do you feel about porn? Yeah, I think it's cool. I think it's hard to find things that aren't really aggressive and weird though. Or just really gross, people who are gross looking are like, I don't really feel like you have to like get really like deep into things to find things that are more normal seeming or like something I can relate to more.

But I have a hard time finding things that don't just like immediately turn me off with like a disgusting guy or like just like, like people who look really trashy. And you're like, you're like, I'm actually so glad. Yeah. So as I start talking, I'm like, I think this is the wrong, like,

see how horrible life I can't watch. Or just like really poorly shot or something. Yeah, so it's how they don't like each other. Crashy doesn't bother me as much as awkward acting and production. That's where I'm like, it feels like it's an act. Yeah, that's where I'm at. We know you're acting, but you just pretend

like it's something for us here. I feel like, do you know, I was like a website where it's like all cool or something? There you go. Yeah. Unfortunately, like a lot of them are been taking over like porn hub is like the conglomerate,

but there are like Tumblr porn. It's great. And you've ever got a Tumblr? I do. I do too. No. Lady Cheeky. She's a friend of mine.

L. Chase. Well, does she say her name? Lady Cheeky. It's a great jumping off point. Oh, cool. And there's a lot of great time to perform now. Yeah, it's just to scroll, scroll. So you don't leave your house all day. What is so true? You search in the search bar.

And then a word you want. Oh. Just whatever word. Frogs, bucket, hogs, ton. Don't give me a way more. I talked about that. Oh, hi. So yeah, I mean, how much sex besides when I was there? Do you guys do stuff about improv around sex?

Or is it because... Wait, that's kind of come up a lot. Yeah. For the longest time, and it wasn't intentional, we kept doing shows where one of us didn't know what sex was, and then we all got to explain it, but we would of course do it badly. Like, that was sort of a thing, for a while. Yeah. And we just of course do it badly. That was sort of a thing, for a while. Yeah, and we just like explaining sex.

Yeah. OK, so how about getting in the mood for sex? Like, do you, do you, should we talk about porn? Or did you, well, talk about the porn thing? But like, do you have to think about, we use the kind of thing, you're just, obviously, we're not always in the mood sense, we're in the mood sense, we're not, but do you fantasize about certain things?

Do you have to, what do you do? How do you get yourself going? You're not want to and then you get yourself. Hmm. Hi. Yeah, I think that I'll just go for it. Please. I think that if I'm not in the mood,

but my partner is, that can work for me. I can kind of get into the mindset of it and like be excited. But it's like if I'm not in the mood and I'm not thinking about it and they're not thinking about it, I can't just like turn that out of nowhere. This is the thing about we're just different, right? Women like that often, we just can't just turn it on like a lot of times our partners can. But that's what I was wondering was where I was leading with that. Like this improv helped you to like with fantasies because I think for especially for women, like a a lot of it is we have to be our mind has to be on board with our body.

I think that's where it starts. So I'm wondering if you guys create your own scenarios in your head about things like a more so able to. Because then I'm going to take improv. I don't feel like for myself I'm that I felt like before, like in dating, I felt like I needed a lot from people and that I needed an intensity and aggression to get into it. And then now, when I'm in love, I feel like it all is different. And I'm not really sure why, but I don't have those same, it's a lot easier to always want it. That's good.

Yeah, it's safe and you're in a place that you know your partner's there. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, that sounds amazing. Just post it. Right, no, I do feel like, my mind definitely has to be engaged. I can't just be focused on the physical and that's it.

Like I find that I really am mentally, I have to really be engaged. And I do a lot of fantasy when I masturbate, but then also when I'm in the in the act with my partner and and he'll you know like will like it will engage in like some little very light role play or like that's perfect. I like that. Would you bring in okay because I just did a show in this talk about role play and I was saying to you like okay if you're listening you're gonna roll your eyes

and you think I'm gonna tell you to dress up like the pizza guy, whatever. I'm not saying that. I'm saying that you can also, when you're with your partner talking, you can kind of talk about things that you want to, you know, that you fantasize about that, like you have to happen, but there's another person, or whatever it is, you create your scenarios.

I think they can just sexy, wait, mixing it up. I've had good experiences with that, with like, just, give examples, give us an example. Yeah, I have role play that I was a student at Hogwarts I've had good experiences with that with like just give examples. Could you give us an example? Yeah, I have roleplay that I was a student at Hogwarts and he was Snape. Oh! Snape is my ultimate sexual offense. That's awesome.

I love it. See, she can do it. Yes, I love it. Please. What are you saying? And it first, it could be upward, maybe there was it. Tell me how it went down. It wasn't. It was actually like, it was-

Can you roleplay with someone here? Let's just do it like, you may be a lord. I know you're at a university. I know you're at a university. Yeah, she doesn't really know. I know you're at a university. Any Harry Potter found. I'm kind of going to go, but I think Mary might be more good. I could say-

Let's do it like, so Mary should have this beginning. So am I snake? Oh man. I feel like then I'd have to give you my whole like like this is what I like and this is what I don't like Don't do that! I don't like this one! People have a version of them in their head and I'm like yeah, I don't have that version You're hurt and like you don't hate this student but you care about him very much but you can't show that

I could be whatever it's a witch So I'm hurt. You know, you know it's me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, emotionally. Yes, he is. Oh, yes, I see what you're saying. So without people, he's a little mean. Yeah, a little mean. Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, you are. No, too awkward. You are, no, too awkward. I don't want to say. This is also like, I'll be a little directive like that. And if you're okay with that, yeah. I think that's so helpful.

People are so free to be like, I get judged, whatever, like yes, and like awkward and weird at first, but keep going with it. Just keep it speedy. But that was great. I hate when things sound like porn, too. Like I've had guys who really like, in fact the last couple guys I've did it, I feel like verbal like a lot of talking and I don't have a

problem with that but I hated it when I could sense they wanted me to just sound like a porn and it felt fake and I was like I'm I hate being fake anyway like in any conversation I feel like I'll go for being truthful and throw myself under the bus by like over sharing or or just saying something or I'm like I probably didn't need to say that but it it's the same with sex. Like I don't want it to be like, ooh your cock is so hard. It just sounds so fake to me. Exactly, I really want to say things

that are meaningful to me, but then I also want to also please him in the way that he is into. So, I absolutely get it. A lot of people say that they're like, I'm having some guy friends, like I'm having sex. Because I think it's so cheesy. It's so cheesy.

You always say this too. They're like, I don't know every, my friend is dating like a 22 year I think it's so cheesy. It's so cheesy. You always say this too. They're like, I don't know every, my friend is dating like a 22 year old, and he's like 40s, but every girl I have sex with now. I feel like they just watched a porn because it's like, they are acting exactly like a porn. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you came on the show and it was,

yeah, she's 22. She's not gonna fucking know what sex is. Exactly. This is what it is. You're age, right? Exactly. But I love the C.C. I think this is really good that you were able to do this

in relationship, just like kind of bring it, and just say like this is what I like. Cause it doesn't have to be that hard. Well, I think it's been a learning curve because I still like get so shot. It was a hard ordinary, I know. Yeah. And this is what I'm curious about with this.

Because like, it doesn't your partner, or it doesn't matter if your partner gets off on that side of it. You know what I mean? I feel like I've been with people who are like, I like this. And if they like the opposite, it's like, great. So you're not just trying,

they would have to question. If I felt like they were at all kind of like, sure I can do that for you and it was a chore, I would not, it wouldn't turn me on. Right right I have to feel that they're very turned on so it's like you you're kind of like initiating it there is like an element of like is this what you're like yeah actually it's been a conversation first it's like I wouldn't have jumped into roleplay without being like what if this or waiting it was like a back and forth of like we could do this we could try this would you be into this and like you can't talk about it first right instead of just like because all of a sudden you're like

What do you mean you know how boring what are you talking about? You're talking about scenarios. Can I share the scenario that I've been sharing for a couple of years on the show? Yes, all right. Don't interrupt okay? I asked her a few years ago. I go look the perfect guy He's he's well endowed, he'll take care of you financially, perfect, he conversates with you, you love talking all the time. The absolute perfect man.

For you. For Emily. Oh. I go, but there's just one thing that he wants to do in bed. He just wants you to dress as the hamburger from McDonald's. That's it. And she said she wouldn't do it.

I just don't find the hamburger sexy. Because she says it will. But he finds it sexy, if he found it sexy. And that's what he needs to get off. If I could make it more of like my own version of it. We can get about you. This is what striped out. Striped out. Yeah, but this is get about you. This is what striped out.

Yeah, but this is what he is. He's going to take care of you in every single way. I probably, you know what? I think I've evolved. He think you will. I would be because she made it

about her. She said that because it doesn't make me feel sexy. No, but I would make a different version of it because I think like what you were just sitting here and what's really important or 70 years.

Like if you don't, can I ask them if they would do it? Yes, would you dress as the hamburger for the perfect partner? What you the perfect idea what you describe necessarily but for my version of okay, whatever your perfect I don't like perfect idea. It takes care of me for now. That's never been a thing either But you're saying a general if you can okay your perfect partner. Yeah for whatever you're looking for That one because unless it was degrading to me

I think I'd be willing to do almost anything. I think I might feel humiliated wearing that costume as it is on the mascot now. Right. But if I made it like a full dress or something, maybe you're something like a full dress. That would be something I would do. Like I don't know if I'm going to be

on a flowy garb of hamburger or actual. I feel like I'm not imagining it, right? It's just like a flowy garbage. Right, Amber gore actually. Like, he just escaped from jail. I feel like I'm not imagining it, right? I just, it's like a straight hand. He's like a straight hand. And he's got a thing. And this is Joe, but really I think the point of it is, is that your partner, I think that it sex is so confusing

in relationships and it can become such a place where we don't know what our partner wants and then we don't even know how to talk about it. So I think that for a lot of people, like they're happy that their partner's sharing what they like and if your partner's on board it, they want to please you. I think most of us want to please our partners. We have a good caring, loving people.

Yeah, but if you don't, I'm really trying to think about that. Yeah, it's like to me, it's like I wouldn't feel sexual. I would feel like, what am I in? You have a hamburger. Yeah, I don't smell like hamburger. To me, there's like disconnect from my own sexuality. It's like I wouldn't feel like sex. I feel like what?

That's why I would make it a sexier like one. Yeah, but are you just saying it just because you don't like the character? No, it's a word like anything else. Anything you'd be okay with. I think I'm so open to things. And if I can, at the same time, feel like part of the sex, like it's like,

oh, okay, this turns you on, I can get into this, I can get into how it turned out, like whatever. But I think if something was like really? Just out there. Not it's out there, but my own, my own, my own like what I'm into. Right.

So what are you into? So what could you just example of like what has worked for you? I really like them to be more dominant and submissive. I can't have that reverse. Right. Like really at all. And it had you had to like explain that to part, do you have to discover that about yourself?

I mean, you know, it really, I mean. It took me a really long time to share that with someone I was dating, and so I would just be very frustrated sexually. Because we don't know how to talk about it. Yeah. And it's like, it seems wrong too. Well, a lot of people are disembarrassed

to have the conversation. And it's just a lot of, I mean, I'm with a woman now, but I think a lot of guys, when I was dating guys, it was like, well, I don't know what, like, they're shy in that area. Because it's like, I don't want to, you know, make you feel bad, or I don't want to disrespect you, or, and it's sort of like, yeah, but I would like to respect you. But I respect we still have the life of you. And that whole thing was really tough. So you're with men, we always, but I expect we still have a life. Yeah, and that whole thing.

It's really tough. So you're with men, we always, bisexual, we've met a woman. I was always with men and then I'm now with a woman. Wow, so how did you see that coming? No. How did this happen? I'm excited. It was never even like your fantasy.

It just, you met a woman. Never considered it a thought about it. Really had no experience with women, had never fantasized, I mean, really nothing. And then fell in love with someone who I really liked and we would go out and have dinner all the time and then I would just be like, but I'm not unless me. And then I was like, hey, sucks. And then what happened?

It was like, how did you get you? It was like six months of that conversation. And then she was seeing other people, I was seeing other people. And then really, she said, I can't do this anymore. It's hard to find. I'm gay and I'm fine with it. Not that I was a fine person,

I just really didn't think I was. And then I slowly was like, God, what is, I do really like her. I would prefer to be with her than these other people I'm with. And I was telling my sister about it, I'm like, it's just, you know, I, like, I don't know what to do about it. It's so interesting. Yeah. And my sister was like, maybe you're just prude. And I was like, oh, I think, I really hit me. I'm like, I'm terrified of the sexual aspect of it because it's so foreign to me. And it reminded me of like being in middle school going like, okay, what's a blowjob? That's crazy. Yeah.

And that's how all the sex part of it, I was just like, okay, so I'm starting at zero and this person's been with people, she's an adult, you know, and I'm like, am I gonna be bad at this and what is, and in the same way of the submissive sort of my desires, sexually, I'm like, I don't know how that works with women, is it like the same, do we like go 50, 50? Right, exactly. And I was like, I'm not gonna be so bad. And then everything I wanted in one person. Wow.

And hands down the best out of anyone. That's amazing. So the first time, but she knows that you didn't have experience. Right. So she would probably, obviously, more dominant, took the lead. And then you were like, when you're riding writing a bike then you're like, oh, it was fun. It was very insanely easy. See Emily, you need to date women. That's what's going on all

these years. No, but I have. I mean, I've had my dialyances, but maybe, yeah, maybe I've been in a relationship with the woman. I support this idea. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way.

Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way.

Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. Maybe that's in the way. I, this is actually a fairly, like, I've always known that, oh, I really respond when I see things like this, but, but now I've started to

lock into, oh, that this is, this is something I should start trying to incorporate, and it is playing with the dominant submissive thing. I really, I would always get, like, I can remember specific scenes in movies that I'm like, I love this. And it's when the man is in, he like, okay, I'm gonna just cry of a scene. I was even really, because I feel like it this captures it the best. I don't know if you need an extra actor. I don't know if it's actually a music video. It's the movie Lolita with Jeremy Irons. There's a scene in that where if you're not familiar with the movie, it's about,

or the book, it's about an older man who falls in love with this young teenage girl and is just driven mad by his love and desire for her. And there's a scene in the movie when she, he like went out to go get groceries and she's in their hotel room and her lipstick is just a little bit smeared. And he loses his mind because he's like, you've been with someone, you've been with someone else. And he like pushes her down on the bed and they start like messing around. And she's like giggling, like laughing at him.

And he's like crying and begging her, please tell me, please tell me. And he's just like losing his mind. And she's laughing at him. And I was like, oh, this is so hot. And I don't know what that is, because it's not so much, I really don't wanna be like a dominatrix or something.

I think I've discovered recently, and this has surprised me, that I want to be worshipped, or I wanna be desired in a way where it's like, they can't control them so that's a VNC. Yeah, so you thought because I think I forgot what it's called but so you thought it was hot because the the guy was like crying that he was very upset and distraught. He was so at the mercy of her. I just love that. Yeah, you see this is the basis for a lot of like dominant

submissive relationships. I think that did put more simplistic though. We just, a lot of us want to be worshiped. And we want to feel like he couldn't or she couldn't control herself. Yeah. It was really like, they couldn't do anything they needed. They had to have me. No matter what, like, it was like, it was their life with them. But like, I, they're lost, their love for me was pouring over and I was so desired, they had to go through like mountains, like all those romance novels and stuff. Just to feel like a desire to want it

and that's why it goes to the aggression too. People are like, I don't get that, but it's something about just like, it's okay if it gets aggressive because you can't handle himself because you so overcome with how sexy and amazing and desirable I am. And the thought that he would, this is gonna sound so terrible, You can't handle himself, because he's so overcome with how sexy and amazing and desirable I am.

And the thought that he would, this is going to sound so terrible, but like that is ruining his life. Right. No. He can't live without you. He cannot live with, yeah, exactly. So did you recreate that? No, I haven't yet, but I want to.

I like it. You just stand in and out with that and fast fast. No, it can happen. I, but I know what you mean with it. I feel like sexually, too. It's sort of fun to be in a safe place with someone. And like you were saying stuff, guys will be shy about the dominant part of it.

And I'd rather date someone like that so that it's so clearly we're acting out of fantasy because there's no part of me that wants in life to date a guy that is dominant or mean when I really actually snake. Well, no, yeah, I do. But like, I like the idea of exploring sort of like dark things or things I'm afraid of with someone's actually when you're like, but this is totally not how we are in life. This is like just us getting to do this like really intimate thing together and it's not real, it's not what our relationship is. Yeah, that's what you know.

I think it can be scary when someone assumes that role without kind of discussing that. Oh, that would be so scary. Yeah, and that would be like, oh, you're like, there's a night fear for my life and I don't think you. And just very presumptuous. Even some other comedian was talking about how

she's dated multiple men recently who all go straight to choking and sex. I don't like this. Why do you assume I want to do this or why is this something that's prevalent in that? You said a porn thing? I think it is. I mean, nobody was talking about nobody asked me about choking. I mean, I started this 10 years ago.

I've done that was in podcast, we never came up choking. Squirting never even came up until four years ago. And I believe some women do like it. They like the question, but like choking comes up every single day now. And I think it's in a lot of porn, right? Like women are being choked in the question.

They're doing that before anything, like it's telling me to be like, go on, you know, it's like, what do you think is happening? But I actually said we did, I had a weird bad date a few weeks ago by mistake. I had a like, kissed a guy and then went out with him. Thought I liked him.

I did. But he was a clever girl who's dumb. But he's like, I have a world of likes to be tricked. That's what the, I mean most women do. Like just this stupid, like, because he saw it some, I don't know what it is, like they do. They do. I mean, we had never had sex.

I was like, you're just just ignorant about it. I think there's assumptions, you know. And some, but again, you've deemed to discuss it beforehand. Always, don't assume that your partner wants, don had never had sex. I was like, you're just just ignorant about it. I think there's assumptions, you know, and some women, but again, you've deemed to discuss it beforehand. Always, don't assume that your partner wants, don't ever make assumptions. And don't assume that what you're seeing in porn is most women.

That's my problem with it. Right, for them, ready to buy men, for men, not for you. It meant to be a really heightened reality. Like, everything happened so fast and so crazy. They don't need with the choking. Like, could do a little like like I was saying, give you just spank someone like a little like tap. Like see how that goes over. Like we're like whacking someone. So has there been anything that you've wanted to try that you haven't

yet? Hmm sexually. Are you talking to me? Sex choice? Yeah, you can come back. I was looking because that whole choking thing, there was something I was looking at that one actor from Kung Fu. Like it really was in the... Oh, you want a fixation? Yeah, that was like in the news where it was really mainstream, where everyone really heard about it for the first time, I think. I think that maybe was the jumping off point.

Right, oh, when he was doing it, yeah, and you just got to be careful. You can probably do it. Like I get really nervous when yeah, yeah, I'm probably like I get really nervous People are like I'm jokies are I know what about okay, so I have you I try what it sex toys do is toys anything fun? You guys are all like natural in masturbation. Yeah, but I don't even for that It never has it always feels really foreign and not If you need one, Emily has like her clothes. I would love it. I really hope that you would give an amazing one

that you had. The womanizer? Yes. Yes. I totally agree. Did I not bring you on? I'll tell you how you were showing it at the show. And I was like, that was amazing.

Yes. We could bring you womanizers. Oh my God. I mean, you've been her boyfriend for a long time. I'm going to tell you. Next time you have a music though, it's a clay whisper. Yeah. It's like if tie. It's a tie now. It's a music though. It's a clay whisper. Yeah.

It's like if you're a clip, it could speak. It would say, oh, I would like this to be on my clip. It's right now. She has a whole garage full of stuff. I would like to tell you about that. That tummy. That's a machine, the Sip, Sibian. The Sibian.

That looks great. That I have on your show, but I am not sure what this is. What is it? The Sibian is... It was made popular by the Howard Stern Show. By the Howard Stern Show. It looks like a horse saddle. He would put girls on it on the show. Yes, yes.

Do you remember this? And so it is the most powerful sex toy in the world. And they set me one. They were one of my sponsors and it's... I mean, it actually came from our dinner party there tonight. It's heavy. It's heavy. It's heavy. It's hitting an ottoman. You can't tell.

He said, can I sit on that and you can't move it over? So you turn it on as two controls, like a spaceship almost. You turn it and you ride it and it's all these other attachments. And it really is the ultimate- It's pretty crazy. It's an old-fashioned machine. Yeah, I do like it. No, I do like it.

It's just really, it's a thing. It's like an event. What did I do? I know, there's a whole it. It's just really it's it's a it's a it's a thing. It's like an event. I know this a whole like yeah But it's apparatus is like you your partner can watch you could do it together There's like a tattoo if you want like For a little over a thousand bucks. Yeah, oh my god. Oh my god pocket change Exactly. That's why I mean and the butter is like a brain to be honest I wanted it but it's a nickel-hawk. I sure. And the butter is like a blank. I didn't want it, but the thing is I'm like, well how can I share it?

Cause we were reviewing it and stuff. And they did send me a text, I was like, well people in your office, and it's like, is that weird though to use my sex strip? Because it does, I mean, you can't clean it off, but it is kind of like, I can't give you a shitter at the point. To share it. Like Lori was gonna come over,

I got you some of the, and I was like, this is just got way to the masturbate and when we went to my house, I got to bring it to the office, that's where two, but then nothing's really weird in our office, so it was all very confusing. But yes, I will hook you up with womanizers for sure, because they're really cool. We would have answered some emails here. We're going to do a quick email. Okay, that would be awesome.

Okay. Oh, thank you everyone for emailing me feedback at sexwithelmy.com. I love hearing from you, include your name and where you live and how old you are and how you listen makes us so happy Hi Emily. My name is Claudia. I'm 25 years old and I'm from Portland, Oregon I'm emailing you because I need advice on how to become more confident and secure with my body during intimacy Back in 2014, I breast implant surgery and after the healing process was over I was left really ugly kiloid scars around my area Olas, which messes with my self-esteem around my breasts.

I plan to get as much of the scars removed as possible, hopefully next year, however, I currently can't send sexy breast pictures. And I don't want to take my shirt off during sex because the scars are so in sexy to me. It's depressing. I just want to have big sexy boobs. Any advice on how to go about this during intimacy with someone should I be up front and honest. Thanks a lot Claudia. All right can I answer it? Yes. The kids we talked about this on our drunk podcast that we did. Guys don't guys are not going

to care about the scars so she shouldn't worry about all that and then the sexy photos, Photoshop it's easy or you can download it. Photoshop is like face to him. You can download an app on your phone. You can download a Photoshop face to Yeah, you can download an app on your phone At that point a guy is not gonna care Right, but I'm just saying why not just be up front. I feel so no I totally off of me and then I was like okay, so now I'm just laying no no no I totally understand No, I'm just reason why I was in laughing. I was like it's just funny that that she's like How do I send sexy photos, you know?

But I just thought that was, because you know I'm care, I just want to say that. You guys do not care. And it's like, we all have things as well. Okay, a bunch of women, like, is there anything on your body that maybe you're insecure about? Like, don't you have things?

We all have things that we worry about. And that's part of the process of becoming sexually confident is that you just kind of like you just you know you learn to love your body and you realize that like no one else is judging you as hard as you're judging yourself. Or like being creative with the picture is like not necessarily showing you. Yeah like green, you know, you know, doing some sort of like that. Right, but I also like picture active. Oh yeah, you're in show to.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I showed it at wild horses. Yeah. Oh my gosh, so sexy. I showed it at Wild Horses. Again, yeah, I had a Hogwarts theme. Yeah, a Hogwarts theme. So the guy I've been dating had given me a wand, a scarf, and Harry Potter glasses. And I, at the time, was like, that's so nice.

Even though I was like, everybody knows this about me. You couldn't give me a less meaningful present. But at the time when I was still dating him, I was like, well, I'll wear it all, but only that. And so I took a picture and I had small breasts, so I generally showcase my butt when I used to. You just choose your right. So I set it up for the time.

I used the timer. It took me like four hours of doing it. This is the other thing. Oh my God, I was like, I said it like a candle thing. I kept it like I didn't even occur to me to not have it on silent. Or it was like, because then you can hear the photo go off. So I was never, I was like, did it go off?

Did it go off? But I lay on my bed with all this stuff on so you could see my butt behind. I like poked it, I was like, this is my ankle, but I had like 500, then I was like, all right, here's the only one that is okay. And send it. That's good, right?

It's such a process, take it the picture. I mean, I've never sent one, I just don't, I don't, I just don't know, I don't have time, it's stressful. I just like, take 500 photos. It's a real hard time. It is don't know I don't have time. It's stressful I just like take 500 photos There's a blue there's a bluetooth a bluetooth button that you can buy at the Apple store for your butt photos So you don't have to use the timer. I guess like the button for your butt photos. Yeah, no, I'm just saying there's a blue To you

I'm just saying like yeah, what's so easy to say? Don't worry about it, men or whatever. I was just going to say, well, first of all, I think a lot of people like scars. I love scars. I love scars and know a lot of people that do. And also, I always think about it too. Think of when you're having sex with someone or you're dating someone, are you ever judging their body that what you're thinking about yourself?

That's what I'm saying. You never go, oh, look at that weird, whatever. It's, it's, you're really dumb. And they're not thinking about you, everyone's just thinking of themselves and nothing matters if you can just get into it. Yeah. I think too, if you're, if you're with a partner

that you trust or that you are in a relationship with or feel like you can do this, I also think it's okay to be like, hey, just so you know, I'm pretty like self-conscious about these scars on my breasts. So, you know, just like getting it out there. So I don't know if that would. No, that could totally work.

So she's not the whole time kind of worried about, like, like Anderson, you know, from love I need to say that he dated a woman in high school for like, or college that for like two years, but she never took her breath like the whole time. They were together. He's like, what was under there? Like I didn't know.

They went swimming, you know, just like, exactly, they're vitamin C. You're right, something where, but just, um, and it's so attractive to be confident. Like I think about being a teenager and I was so like aware of my body and like going to the beach and a bathing suit. And it's like so many years wasted

of not just like running into the water and having a great time at the beach, you know? And it's like I think that when you see people of course like anyone's gonna notice a great body, that's a great body. But also like if you go out with people that are bigger or smaller or whatever in different areas, it's like if they don't give a shit, you're like, that's the most beautiful, cool-looking person. So true confidence. Yeah, I mean, I always say cultivating confidence is like the most important thing that you can do.

With your work, do you think it's really helped you? I'm sure with your confidence, doing what you're doing, and just kind of risking it all and going up there and saying, yeah. Yeah, I just thought it was fine if you were looking. I don't have any confidence, but I said, yeah. Yeah. I am as you delivered it.

But I do feel that I was confident about the fact that I don't and I share it in a way that I'm like, listen, this is where I am. And so the times that I have told someone I was insecure about something sexually, it has felt strong because I was like, I'm just going to tell you this and I don't feel good about it and I'm sharing it with you. And that for me was the confident instead of being like,

I'm fine with it, which would have been fake for me. Right, just be honest with you. Because like, life is short as like, suffer through bad sex. Yeah, I think you want. That's a really good point, like being confident with your insecurity, like not being ashamed of your feeling yourself conscious.

Like that's still confident to be like, having that. I'm insecure about this. Yeah, exactly. Okay, I five questions for you. Like five sex questions. I want to ask you all each one. Okay, ready? Okay. I will start with Mary. Biggest turn on. You know, I think, you know, lost.

Lost. Okay, Lauren, biggest turn out. I actually want to say confidence. I feel like that is totally. Aaron? Oh, I got confused. Oh, like, we're on the last few. Like, well, but in someone else, or what are some things you want?

What turns you on? Yeah, what turns you on? Biggest turn out, game and love. Good. You know your stuff, see? Good. Stephanie. I would say talent and energy.

Yeah, I feel like the answer is wrong. Biggest turn off. My biggest turn off is I think probably a, you know, a... You blocked it because it's so awful. I don't know. Probably just like Oh, I don't know. Maybe everything turns you on. Like maybe you just don't see the positive. Yeah, I think like really like if we're talking of like porn, I watch a lot of porn. I think this super aggressive, like really close up shots of like things going in butts.

Right, we're doing things in butts. That's a good one. Okay, based on how? I think when I actually kind of goes hand in hand with confidence or the opposite of how it, like when someone's very like self doubting or like having or feeling like they suck or something like that is the turn off. confidence or the opposite. Like when someone's very self-doubting or having, or feeling like they suck or something,

like that is the turn off. We'll never have sex. Yeah. Anytime I sense any level of someone being faker and genuine at all, that's a good one. Oh, that is good. I guess a great answer. That was so good.

Yeah, that's just, oh my god. Yeah, I agree. You could do that. Like self-obsession. Yeah, you. Yeah, I could have done that. Like self-obsession. Yeah, you know, I'm going to change my into self-obsession. I shouldn't say close up. I'm so chill here. Change your answer. OK, crazy place you've gotten busy.

Head sex. That's his fascinating, you know. Rapid fire. You don't want to go first? You don't have to. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm so much pressure. I'm really sorry. No We started putting these back. We used to be right. I'm mixing it up. We don't usually have four people

We would have what this is amazing. Hey, go in a car in the rain Uh, in a in a tractor in a field, but we didn't finish because I felt like it was too dirty for his butt and I got grossed out That's so scary with you, but his butt. In a very narrow staircase. Hot. On a stranger's front lawn in the middle of an ice. Oh my! Glad you didn't go first.

Crazy in the normal. Sexiest word to you. Anyone? Sexiest word? Word. Love. Sexy's word to you anyone Sexy's word word love Need Fuck I don't know like that I know it's hard sexy like I said employment No, like that, I know it's hard. Sex is, like, sex is weird.

I said employment online. Blaming? No, not a cash. Right. Like, women with a paystile. You do? You do? You see cash?

I totally don't know the whisper that there's a joke that you didn't hear me. I love that one. No, no, no. It just like, it just meant to like bring it all together that somebody that has their own thing going on. Yeah, absolutely. To be honest, there's no second sort.

The one thing that you wish to tell your current or future partners about your body or your needs. I know. It's a hard one. I don't even remember that one. I'm gonna get to it. Yeah, probably. The one thing you wanna tell, like the,

yeah, like what do you wish you could tell? What do you wish that all men are what we knew about sex that you don't know? Like I'm thinking. Oh, okay, I remember it now. Yeah, I don't know. What do you wish you didn't touch a lot? Like I could, there's no like,

like during the day or during sex, whatever. Like I, a lot of touch not touch Do not do not discount for play like for play is so important Yeah, I don't even call it for play Yeah, but it's some if like someone just goes straight to touching the private Well now I hate this We're not sure yeah, we don't know the world to it the whole thing. It's like, well, now I hate this. We're not trying to. We're not trying to.

We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room.

We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room.

We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. We don't know if they're walking the room. It's so hard for me to be sexual with someone who doesn't really want to like emotionally be there as well Right, I just watched bull Durham And they're reminding you that like the difference between Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner like a young guy and a man Who can like undress her and Slow and it's so like beautiful and then when she's with the young pitcher, he's just ripping it up. Yeah, yeah.

That's such a great example, right? Yeah. Oh, funny. I'd be with a man. Holds me on the day. Oh my God, so good. That's such a good movie. I'm going to watch it, that's it.

My mom had that poster in our bathroom when I was growing up. That's a great one. That is so good. Now you have to see it. OK, so thank you for being at anything else. You to promote. What's coming up? Tell me everything. We do a show. We do a show.

Every month at UCB in LA, the first Saturday of a month at 10 o'clock. And then the most. It sells out, right? Like every like in... Yeah. So the guy who tickets. You guys have your own podcast, right? Oh, that's what you do. It's, yeah, we do want to, howl, which is earwulf's paid subscription podcast network.

But, yeah, should we go to howl.fm, you can use the code wild to get a month free. And you can listen to our whole show for free because there's five episodes. So yeah. And Lauren, you have a podcast? I do have a podcast called with special guest, Lauren Lapkiss,

and you can hear that on the air wolf network on air wolf.com or iTunes. That's my plug. I love it. OK. And if you ask me, thank you so much for coming. Oh, plug. Oh, plug.

No, no, no, no, I'm going to do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it so good. Do it so good. Do it so good. Do it so good. Do it so good. Do it so good.

Oh, boy. Come on. Come on. Well, you know, you could get the stars app app now. They've got an app just like HBO go and all those other STS T a r z yes, and I'm on a show called Bluntalk that's on that Congratulations, you guys are all doing really well. And I've honored to meet you in your show It's really great. It's for us to come here and talk to you. I didn't know where they gonna be comfortable time I know you and I know

But thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. Check out their show. Comfortable time is better. No you're not. No it's great. But thank you for being here. I really appreciate it. Check out their show. Menace, what's up with you? Anything else that we can do? Just follow me on Instagram and Twitter at menace. That's it. Okay.

And my dog Tiro. My dog Tiro? Okay, add a yeah, same thing. Because I'm into the Snapchat thing. Everything's sex-friendly. Yeah, keep on Snapchatting. Let's tap that. Oh, it's fun.

It's so fun. I know, I just understood it. Just figured out like five minutes ago. Okay, thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithenley.com. Okay guys, are you looking for way to mix up your masturbation routine? Well, let me tell you about the number one sex toy for men. And really, the only one you want. The flesh light.

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