Sex With Emily - Safe Sex & Naughty Texts

Episode Date: June 6, 2015

In today’s show, Emily’s getting down and dirty with advice for people who LOVE sex, and want to have more of it! Emily shares some startling statistics on STD’s, discusses her favorite things about fellatio, and tackles some of your emails.  Is your relationship ready for anal sex? When you lose your orgasm, where does it go? Can sex ever be 100% safe? Emily addresses these listener questions, and shares some tried and true ways to overcome your “O-block”.  Whether you’ve been worrying about your sexual health, have reservations about butt stuff, or you just want your girlfriend to sext you more, this Sex With Emily podcast has the answers you need. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, welcome to this show. Today we've got sexting, anal sex, safe sex. I'm giving you advice and some of your top sex and relationship questions and so much more. Thanks for listening. Okay, but first, I'm starving. You ever get to get starving in the middle of nowhere and you've nowhere to get food, but you're so hungry and you're like, why didn't I go to the store?

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That's g-r-a-z-e.com to get a free trial box. Okay, free food. Who does want that either? That includes four of their most delicious snacks when you use my special code Emily. That's graze.com code Emily. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Evelyn? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. broke anything she kind of kids. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common only? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm so grown.

Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemle.com. Check out everything there. Check out our mailing list, sign up for it, our videos, our blogs. We upload it every single day. So if you can't listen to sex with Emily at work, sex with Emily at work, you can read sex with Emily at work. Because

we got good stuff going on there. Hi, Anderson. What up, M. So good to be with you. It's fantastic. I know. How was your weekend. It was good. Yeah, yeah I'm very worn out, but it was good. Yeah, good. Well, I'm glad to see you I had a very interesting weekend. I had a lot of sex talks this weekend that were very intense. That's interesting for you Well, I would think that sounds like no other than that no it is run-in-the-mill But like there's been all these things that have been coming up and particularly the topic of women and blow jobs I have some guy friends who are like obsessed with the fact that one guy got married and then this other guy is like, I don't think that women like it.

Like women really don't like it. Don't like giving blow jobs. And is that your inherent belief that women do not like it? I think some women really just like it and some women love it. Right? Exactly. Yeah. That's what I think. I think choose to believe what you want.

And if you're with a woman who doesn't like it, you'd be like, ah, she's not into it. This is fun. She's not wife material. I think choose to believe what you want. You can and if you're with a woman who doesn't like it You'd be like, uh she's not into it. This is a fun wife material. Yeah Exactly or she's so great that I can get by without the blow jobs Right And they let it go. Yeah, you make a decision and I believe there are women I have a lot of friends like oh yeah, God is this birthday. I got to get a blow job because everyone's here Is that story like you get married and you no longer have blow jobs anymore anymore and I just think that's sad because I think that you should... I mean it's like blowjabs are like flowers for women and like women the fact that women just decide like oh I'm just not going to do it when it takes like two seconds. Well it depends on who you're with. 10 minutes. Yeah. And he's

doing stuff for you and I just so I asked my friends because my other friend pulled her friends and they were like, no, no, they were married. They were like, I don't like it. I'm not into it. And then my friends were like, yeah, of course. And I like it. I've never done any sex act that I didn't want to do. And so I just want to hear from you.

I would hope not. No, but I'm saying why do anything you don't want to do. I believe it is, but just men don't like performing oral sex on women. Well, that's also a misnomer often. But I think that like you guys, I mean, you put on the makeup and the heels and the hair, all that. That's like bait that you're luring us in to get married. And then once your gikata is a lot of time, it's like, why the fuck do I gotta make bait? I know, but I feel like, you know, I had a guest on my show once. She was like 20 years I've been married and I never said no to a blowjob. I always give him a blowjob and I just feel like that's a good attitude and he should always do things for you. And I just don't believe it.

So I want to hear from you guys, like, do you, are you a woman who, or a guy who thinks that women don't like it? Are you a woman who doesn't like it and you want to know how? Because we've talked about this on the show that if you don't like it, I have also given tips on how you can learn to love it and be really good at it. I'm just a little bit of a judge. You can do that tonight. No. No, no. Not gonna be over the tips on how love it.

Well, okay, I've done this on my show a lot, but here's the thing, if you don't love it. Oh, first of all, I want to know why. Did you have a bad experience with it? Did some come fly if you're nose one time or something? Did a guy make you, you know, or you just hate the taste? There's a lot of reasons, and a lot of women just don't feel like they know what they're

doing either. They feel like they're not that good at it. They have low self confidence in it, whatever it is. So I think that you have to start to think if you're giving a blow to someone that you care about and you're having sex with them, think of their beautiful penis as an extension of their body and you're doing something to them that's making them feel amazing and all the power is in your hand and giving a really good blowjob is kind of as an art. And if you get into it and really the number one tip is enthusiasm.

So be into it, even if you have to fake it till you make it. And then you'll start to realize like once you're into it, you start practicing different things, it'll be like fun. Like you'll see he's happy, he's getting off, you know he's happy, and you've done it, and it's fine. And I think just like anything when you practice it and you're feeling good and you get good feedback, you're gonna like, you're gonna wanna do it.

I'm not saying every day, I'm saying just, don't take it off the menu after you, or in a serious relationship. Yeah, that's rude and selfish. Don't do that. You can play a pandemic as a game too, like Pop goes to Weasel and like you're trying to get to the part where stuff pops out.

Stuff pops out, it's a good time. If you're a competitive person with yourself, you can start timing yourself and see if you can do it faster, it's faster, get the result quicker. And I gotta tell you something about blow jobs. So I, you know, I give a good blow job. I know that and I know that I've definitely improved over the years, you know, it's my job.

But I've also not to give blowjob, but to learn about them and study and teach. So if you want more details, actually, sex at mme.com. We have a lot of articles, blogs about it. But here's the thing. I was reading this book once about blow jobs early on in my sex family. Wait, the book was about blow jobs. Yeah. Was it a how-to book or was it like a novel and that was like?

You can buy this at Good Vibes 2. It's called Tickleless Pickle by Sadie Allison. Oh,ie Allison. Oh I know Sadie. She's been there. Yeah. So the point is it was that book and it was some other book I was reading and I remember I was dating a guy for a few years and I was reading this book she was coming on my show and I was like oh and I can't remember the exact move but there was some one thing I did with like my tongue and my fingers around his ball it was like I can't even remember what the move was but I'd giving him blow jobs, really good blow jobs for about a year and a half. And at the end, he was like, oh my God, what did you just do?

Meaning that I learned a specific tip at that point or something that I did that was different. And I think a lot of sex is variety. Like he hadn't felt that sensation before because probably my blow jobs were the same. So there's little things that you can learn by reading, go to my website, go online, buy a book that could rock their world, and then you, they felt good. I'm like, oh my God, I'm really, really good. It's, you know, any fun, good. And then you feel good.

To get on some of the thumbs around goes around. I'm just saying if you don't like it, like, forgive or I don't like it. Okay, so, but I just don't believe that all women hate it. And I believe if you do, you can learn to love it. Let's do some sex in the news because it's your favorite favorite part. I love it. Love it Is it good? Is it about blow jobs? No, I just talked about a job. This is about This is what I got for you STDs are on the rise thanks to social media hookup apps

I don't know if you can really, you know, but this is with the Department of Health Reports. HIV is up 33% from 2013 to 2014. Gone areia, up 30%, syphilis, skyrocketed, a whopping 79%. Why the sudden uptick? Officials cite better testing, but added hookup apps like Tinder are partly to blame.

Everyone wants to blame Goddamn Tinder. High risk behaviors include using social media to arrange casual and often anonymous sexual encounters, having sex with out-econom, having sex with multiple partners, and having sex with under the influence of drugs or alcohol. So they said that this data sends a clear signal that, despite the progress we've made in reducing STDDs, STDDs, STDs, STDs, and HIV over the years, that we have more work to do.

And then another study said, whatever, there's a lot of studies. They're saying that syphilis, though, the fact that it went up so high, it's because of these apps, but it could just be because people are hooking up now. And more frequently, there's more partners you can meet more readily. Just bring some goddamn condoms with you and pay attention to your sex with because this is upsetting I don't I don't believe it on the apps. I absolutely blame on the apps. Of course. Yeah, I don't think it's only the apps are really every That many people I guess though people are on Tinder and hinge. I just think that Perhaps people are stacking dates throwing ten in a week and they're hoking up with everyone and they're like too drunk to use condoms,

which is why people make those poor choices. Therunkeness, yes. Yes. Every beer should come without condom. That's a great. Not bad, I know. Not a bad idea. My favorite condoms ever, ever, ever now are skin SKYN.

A lot of women allergic to latex over there. Latex, yeah, these are probably I'd say they're good. It could be the apps, it could be the social media and general people are hooking up from people who like their photos and Instagram as well. Yeah, these are probably guys playing. They're good. It could be the apps. It could be the social media and general. People are hooking up from people like their photos and Instagram as well. So I guess it's social media. We're meeting more people than we ever did before.

And so that means we have more opportunities and we're having more sex and spreading diseases for use condoms. I think I'm a little tagline on Facebook. I never go on Facebook, but like going out and was last on there like four or five years ago was like Facebook help and spread STD STDs since 2002, or whatever. I think that's my tag line right there. You wanna do that? Yeah, well I mean, I knew it back then.

I saw it back then. I mean, people were just scrolling through, looking for like friends that they lost contact with. Yeah, or like high school. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, X-Sweetheart, it is true. Back in my day, I'll tell you, we used to look at, we had to go to yearbooks.

So we had to do, look for the phone numbers. Like keepin' touch, KIT. Yeah, and then in the summer, you don't know to yearbooks. That's what we had to do. Look for the phone numbers. I keep in touch. KIT. And then in the summer, you don't know what the hell they're doing. You can't be like, let's meet up. You're right, it's a whole different world. And then the other thing, oh, on my last show, I ditched with Anna David, a friend of mine. We talked a lot about Tinder and dating apps and all the stuff so you can check out that

show. Here's how much we Instagram about love, vibrators, and pizza. Fascinating story, Anderson. We gram what we love from beach vacations to boozy branches. Sure, hashtag foodie and hashtag food porn are super popular. But hashtag, we hashtag the things we really love, do we? Is that true? Well, super drugs online doctor looked at 645,000 tagged Instagram posts.

But super drugs? What? Super drugs online doctor. Okay, this is like the source. This is the source, people. So okay, this is really interesting. They looked at Europe, they looked at the US, and made some very interesting observations about how we document sex, love, and pizza, according to Instagram.

So according to their hashtag data, users are more, much more likely to hashtag their pizza than their hashtag girlfriend hashtag marriage. However, there are a few states who do gram their relationships even more than their cheesy slices. It's the Southern states, Mississippi, Georgia, and a couple of other pizza hating states like Nebraska and Ohio. They are much rather to say pizza than girlfriend of marriage. Okay, then there's love versus toys, hashtag dildo, hashtag vibrator,

or far more popular hashtags than hashtag love in the colder, northern regions of the US. You have sure Vermont, one and two, Montana number three. I guess they're just trying to keep warm. I don't know. Meanwhile, Wyoming, Idaho, Hawaii, West Virginia, Utah, showed the least amount of love for sex to our related Instagrams compared to hashtag love posts.

So I don't know what the hell that means. It just means in different regions, we care more about hash tagging our food and hash tagging love in my restaurants. And people probably look at the hashtags of those around them more often than high on. You don't really go on Instagram, like I don't click on a hashtag,

because I use hashtags on my sex with on Instagram, at sex with them, but I'm not like, going who else talked about it right now? No, I'm a cynical bit of a romance and I can't wait for hashtag to stop. I know. And people, I wanted to just stop.

My wife tells me it's never going away. I just hit it too many times. My really good friend, he makes a living by hashtagging for like companies, and stuff like that. Yeah, no, people do that. Even though he might be out in the cold and on the streets, I want hashtag to start.

Everyone stop with hashtag. Please stop with hashtag. Hashtag stop. Oh, because people are using it like in languages. It's annoying. Like hashtag annoying. But I'm old cynical man. You are old cynical man, which I'm learning more and more about.

But you've such a soft loving side. Let's get into some emails. Hashtag stop. Hashtag e-mails. Okay. We've got a lot of them. Thanks for emailing me. FeedbackItSex with Emily.com. I love hearing from you and include your name and where you're listening from.

And your age. And your age. And your breast size. Penisize, we say. And your sex. Okay. How to get more sex-ding. Hello, Emily.

First off, love the show. I've learned a lot from you, especially the wide variety of sex toys Okay, how to get more sexting. Hello, Emily. First off, love the show. I've learned a lot from you, especially the wide variety of sex toys available, which you seem to have all of them. I'm a 23 year old guy, and I've been with my girlfriend for the past seven years, soon to be engaged, hopefully, if she says yes. I have a high sex drive, and so does my girlfriend.

When we're alone together however, she doesn't necessarily like sending pictures, which I kind of understand, but she doesn't necessarily like sending pictures, which I kind of understand. But she doesn't respond very well. I.e. you reply or play along with sexting. Do any tips I could use to make her feel more comfortable at sending pictures and sexy texts when we're not together? I sometimes think that by saying stuff like, I want to put my cock in your pussy, etc.

Fricks her off. She uses. I can't imagine being with anyone else. And this is in no way coming between us, but I'd love to make this part of our relationship better. Thanks in advance, S from Essex. What's his age? Where's Essex?

23. Essex. It's in the UK, London, right? Oh, yeah, right, yeah. Yeah, he's 23. So cock and pussy, that's a different thing in Essex I think. I think it's a little bit more casual that kind of language because I know that throw a country around it quite a bit over. You know what I mean? Yeah okay so here's the deal. A lot of

women she might not be responding because either she just doesn't like it, it makes her feel bad or she doesn't know what to say. And you could probably find a way to speak her sexting language that will get her going. So I don't know what you've tried or if you tried it once and she didn't respond because like even if she was your girlfriend of a month, you should always escalate very, very slow with sexting with dirty talk with all of it. So the best thing is to be descriptive. Like tell her what you want to do. Confident or like last night was so hot baby I can't wait to like take off your clothes again. I mean start like something fairly benign and you can also tell her things that like about

her that would get you excited because you know tell her like you looked so hot last night and that's skirt and I can't wait to see you take it off you again. Or something very like mellow see how she responds to. And then you can start to escalate it. Here's a deal, just don't overthink it. And don't try to text exactly what you think like women want. You know her, you've been together seven years with her. So you can know how she could respond.

And if you feel like it's something that she's just opposed, you can talk to her, say, baby, it's during the day, because I always say four play all day. And if you send a sexy text to your partner, like, then she knows you're thinking about her, but she might just want to hear how bad you want her, or how hot she looks, or something like that. So kind of gauge her, like, figure out what she wants,

but don't get too dirty too fast. And again, when you're in person, you can tell her things that you like, and then you could say it again in a text, so she knows it's not so foreign, and then build from there. As far as the pictures, not can tell her things that you like, and then you could say it again in a text so she knows it's not so foreign and then build from there. As far as the pictures, not all women are into that, you could take pictures together and take a picture

and she could pose in a way and then look at the camera because I know I never take selfies and we're like take selfies and I'm like, I don't have time. I take a selfie, I'm like, I'm like, that's so bad. It's an art, Anderson. And it's not one in which I choose to. I think that they actually teach a class on taking selfies. They probably do. No, they should. And I always have like, people work for me like, just do it.

Just do it. I'm like, I don't have time. I don't like it. It's such a... It's such a guy. So like, they want to trade because like, we don't really, the dick pick doesn't really do nearly as much for you guys as the side boob pick would do for us. I know. Oh, so here's the thing. Even a side boob is better than a dick pick. I know. Oh, so I see, here's the thing. The side boob is better than a thick pick. You know what I mean? I've actually been reconsidering my whole notion on it because I've always said I've never sent a sexy picture

to a guy which is true. But there's a part of it that I could definitely send one in a way that isn't really revealing just sexy. Like I'm not going to show my nipples or my intimate areas. Right, you could just show like, you know, your legs or something. Or my stomach. I'm great. So yeah, and I don't know why I don't, so I'm not gonna rethink it. I'm gonna...

Make up your neck. But I'm gonna have like a friend help me, who's really good at you could position it, it's about lighting, so here's... Oh my god, you're so tight, man. I'm just checking. I'm gonna send this out. My friend, I'm kidding. No, I was talking to my girlfriend at breakfast this morning and she's like, oh my god, I'm so good at it. So I was joking my cover and showing, because I like it, but you could like, fit the light, the whole thing, so I'm just gonna do it eventually but the point is She might just might not know what makes her feel good. She might not feel that sexy So if you guys do this stuff together

You start talking to her sexy and you say let's take some pictures. I'll delete them and see how sexy she is She might start doing it in a row Like you got you got some chocolate and flowers you take a picture of those you send them off tour and say hey These are yours if you send something to return. Huh? A little bribery. A little bribery? Yeah.

I don't know. I think he needs to tell her how sex she is, and then he wants to capture a picture of her. I don't think bribing food for sex is a good idea. Okay. You don't like the alphamadams and you don't like that. I hate alphamadams when it comes sex. Because that's when sex gets tricky, when couples start to say each other like, wow, if you take out the trash, and then it becomes a chore.

But this is a sex, Sam. This is sex. You know, so there's a might be a little leeway that's funny and playful. Maybe she wants you to write in a certain way. I don't know. Read a rata could together get comfortable saying the words, watch porn. There's a lot of things moving away from cock and pussy. Yeah, don't do not lead with cock and pussy.

Do not lead with the cock and pussy if I've taught you anything. But thank you and let me know how it goes as this is not a lost cause at all. Hey Emily, I'm a new listener and love in the show. I'm enjoying your idea, ideologies of sex positivity for women. I have an issue and I would like your advice. I really enjoy having sex with different people and having lots of connections at this stage of my life. However, I have a constant fear of catching STIs.

I always use protection, but STIs like Herpes, HPV can be transmitted even with condom use. What's the realistic chance of catching STIs with condoms? Or am I freaking out for no reason? Thanks. I don't even have a name here. But, for starters, I'm very happy for you, sweetie, that you are embracing your sexuality, you're enjoying yourself, and it is time to have fun.

And I love that you're being safe. That is so important. I definitely don't think that you're freaking out for no reason, but I do think you're being smart, like I said. And when you use correctly, condoms really are 98% effective in protecting you against pregnancy and STDs. Unfortunately, you are right that some STIs can be transmitted from a skin to skin to skin contact like pubic lice hates saying those two words together. I'm sorry and herpes. And there's no 100% proven way to protect your skin, to protect yourself from skin to skin. So the best way is just be careful. What? What suits? What suits exactly? The best way to

protect yourself is just to be careful about your partners and keep your eye open for any signs of infection and sores and rashes. However, many people have infections and you cannot tell. Their penis looks completely fine, same with her. So you could also take a test together, you know, you can make sure like I'm not gonna stay with you until we get tests, but that can be a little tricky. So don't freak out too much, but keep using condoms and just check out your partners, but I, you know, there's nothing we can do. This is the best we can do here, unless you guys walk into a clinic together, and then you have to wait 10 days. What? 98%

it's not bad. I mean, if she she goes out I'm assuming it's a her Yeah, with 50 guys. She's only get one STD. That's not bad. The numbers aren't bad. It's not bad. You're so right That's a great point. Okay So yeah, but I think more people should be a little freaked out about it carry those condoms with you people's Okay Now we've got to talk about something else Anderson before we get back to emails and that is flashlight. Who doesn't love flashlight? Well, apparently 8 million men, because it's the number one sex toy for men.

They do love flashlight. I said he doesn't. Oh, right. Other than like scorn jealous girlfriends. I know, but they do. But jealous of the flashlight. Okay. Remember earlier, our combo about blow jobs, you don't even have to give them a blow job

or a hand job if you hand them a flashlight. You could do it for him. It's a male masturbation sleeve. You could be like, hey, honey, it's a flashlight night for you. The thing about the flashlight is that it does, it is made to look and feel like the real deal. What? I'm just picturing a girl who hates giving him blow jobs and she just like fancies some

kind of band that she could put around her head with a flashlight right underneath her throat. Exactly. And then she could just go like, and it doesn't even go in her mouth. It's just going on the flashlight. The whole thing he doesn't care. He just wants to get off. Put it on the side of her head with the flashlight right underneath her throat. Exactly. And then she could just go like, and it doesn't even go in her mouth. It's going to the flashlight. The whole thing, he doesn't care. He just wants to get off. Put it on the side of her head. Whatever.

She could still still watch TV, the back of her head. And she could still be watching TV. Oh, that's true, the back of her head. It's not a bad idea. They do have the launch pad, which connects to your iPad, so you could be watching porn and the flashlight's connected to that, but that has nothing to do with your partner. But hey, check that out too. So the thing is that it looks and feels like the real deal,

and it's not only that, it's a different sensation that you feel during sex and during your hand, using your hand, because it's like has these bumps on it that like make your penis feel things it's never felt, and you've orgasms like you've never had, at least from all the penises that have reported to me, so it's discreet, it's portable, it's so easy to clean, orgasms like you've never had, at least from all the penises that have reported to me.

So it's discreet, it's portable, it's so easy to clean, and for every woman who has a dildo, every man should have one of these. So go to sexofamely.com, sexwithemely.com, click on the flashlight banner, use code emily, and then you get a free bottle of their award-winning flush lube. So do that now. Flushlight, check it, love it, live for it. I never gave you one, did I, Anderson? Is it because you don't want one

or you don't want to ask me for one? I'm good. I don't need one. I'm married. Good talk. Yeah. I've put my finger in a lot of them. Yeah.

Really? Just for a test of mouth. Well, because I work on a loveline. They sent us like a giant box. Are they dead? They did. They did. They were all shaving our fingers. And I noticed that when I put my finger in the vagina one, and then the mouth one, and then the butt one,

the butt one was very tight. Oh, very tight. You can get the butt one, people. And it was in the stock. It looked like a beer. Like it was a beer can, right? It looks like a beer, and then you take off the top. Yeah, well, yeah, the flashlight looks like a beer can.

No, no, no, the butt one was a beer can. Yeah, I got it. It was designed to look like an actual beer. Right, they make him for gay men. They make him for anyone who wants to get some tight butt. Oh, speaking of which, guess what the next question is about? What's that? Anel sex.

Hey, look at that. Hey, Emily, I absolutely love your show. I'm in the car lot and it's been a savior. My name's Emily as well, and I'm living in Nashville, Tennessee, and I'm 25 years old. All the info that we need. Perfect. I love it.

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love that we need. Perfect. I love him. He's born on it. I've recently started seeing a new guy. He's 31. Our sex has been amazing and we connect on so many levels. We've been seeing each other since October and it's long distance. I feel like we're still in that beginning phase, which where everything, which everything is pure bliss at this time, which is true honeymoon phase. My question is, when I watch porn, I love watching anal. The guy I'm seeing barred up and he said, he wants to try it.

I've done anal before and liked it But I feel hesitant to do with him. I feel like I give in too quickly now That it's going to give us one less thing to try down the road and inevitably lead to a sex demise I want to keep it exciting in the bedroom as long as possible and Other part is the fact that I'm also feeling nervous and anxious that something wildly embarrassing is going to happen as well. What should I do? Should I wait? Should I venture down this road? Is it premature to venture down this road? Thanks, Emily. Thanks, Emily. To me, Emily, from another Emily.

Okay, it sounds like you guys have a great sexual connection. I love that. And you're really open with each other. You talk about sex. You watch porn. They're in a good place. As far as you're concerned open with each other. You talk about sex, you watch porn, they're in a good place. As far as you're concerned for being too soon, anal sex is not the end of your experiences. It is a beginning point. It can be a beginning point for sexual exploration. So there's so much to try after, you can even improve upon your anal sex.

So to think you're like saving it is like your card, like people are like, I'm gonna get married and then I have anal sex. I think like if you wanna try it and he's into it, who knows? You try it? Could open up the door for even hotter sexier stuff than the roof. They're right.

Okay, here's the important things for anal. I understand that you're worried. There can be some dirty things that happen. People are concerned about this. So make sure that you clean your bowels. That you go to the bathroom at least few hours before, like, don't go out for Taco Bell. What? Don't do an enema though. You're making faces about bowels that work. I like it. I don't like it.

I don't like it. Okay, shower before. You know, you guys can shower, feel really clean. Most important thing. You want to use lots of lube. You can never, ever use too much lube. And also for play before, it helps you to have more orgasms. The problem is a lot of women tense up and then it hurts and it's painful. So here's what I want to say to you. Before you even jump into Adelsec since you want to kind of prolong it, why don't you spend like a week just with some anal play. Have them have lube on his finger, stick his finger and your butt one finger than than another play with that sensation or

By a butt plug a lot of women report it feels amazing to have something inside their butt while they're having it right Sacks while they're having actual normal I'm saying building that normal while you're having intercourse and then you could start to get used to that sensation of something in you So that could be a lead-up and it teased to him and a time. So you could also go to good vibes and use code Emily or whatever and check out their butt plugs and- Got all sorts of butt things over there. Butt stuff going on and just make sure that you like take your time and don't- if you're not ready or not ready, but start doing butt play and never choose who for that.

Can we go back for a second? Yeah. Alright, I've heard a lot of people talk about anal sex over the years. Lots, lots of people. And most all of them say, get an animal, which I always kind of, I always kind of think, I don't know if that's really right to be descending like the layman off to a label or off to get, be, animizing herself. Even porn stars.

So it's interesting that you said not to do that. Don't get an animal. Listen, you know when you're clear, like you know, like you could have a lighter lunch if you know that didn't, like you just know. It's all I'm saying. Animals are not healthy for you because they mess up your whole tract but let's talk about orgasms right from the okay easy transition there you know what I love about my show

is that all transitions all over the place yeah dear Emily I'm a nipple maniac I love sex I can't get enough of it, but recently I've discovered a problem. I seem to have lost my ability to orgasm. It started about three months ago when my boyfriend of a year and a half and I broke up. I've noticed I'll get a horny, but whenever I've sex, I just don't get that special feeling, leading to me, usually faking it. Could this be due to the breakup or could there be something else going on? I just want sex to be enjoyable again. Thanks, Christie.

Christie, first of all, let's distinguish between being an infomaniac and someone who enjoys having sex. Shall we do that? Infomaniac. I just got this definition for you, sweetie, so you got it all down. It's a type of hypersexualized disorder that involves compulsive sexual behavior. One of the defining characteristics of any hypersexualized disorder is that you have a pre-occupation with sex-related acts that interferes with your ability to sustain normal relationships. Keep a job or stay physically or mentally healthy. Let's care that out. It doesn't sound like you're an infomeraniac. It just sounds like you're having issues with your orgasm. Okay, so you're getting oblocked by yourself.

This happens to women, Anderson. Like we think we're going to, we think we're going to, and then we block ourselves. You guys think you're so excited about it, yeah. I see that. We do, because the brain is a largest sex organ, and if your mind isn't in it, the orgasm becomes impossible. It can become own damn near impossible. Like you think you're there and then you're anxious because each time it happened one

time, you think it's going to happen again. And it is possible that you're trying to fill the void from your breakup with, you know, this new guy and it's not as filling as you want it to be, all this could be true. Because you said you never had the problem before. Oh, and of course, I have to mention, mention if you started birth control pill, if you're on any medications like any depressants, that could also be a reason why you're not orgasming. So let's talk about that. Just think about that for a moment.

But if you really think you have the case of the missing or the disappearing, oh, because you're o blocking, there's a few things that you can do. This might sound new agey. Don't hang me for it, but the simple act of mindfully breathing. Do you know that women and men hold, we hold our breath a lot during sex? But when you breathe, you actually enhance your sexual experience. Especially when you settle in for like solo time, little masturbation time, which maybe you might need to like beef that up a little if you're not able to orgasm with them.

So it also helps you be in the moment. So if you're in your head thinking, oh my god, it's not going to happen. Is it going to happen? Not what it is. You just go back to your breath. Just like they tell you meditation, go back to your breath. Go back to your sensations in your body. And it also helps you relax since stress kills our sex drive and

our sexual pleasure. So don't be patient, it helps you relax. Best part, number three of my tips of breath, it increases the blood flow to your pelvic area. So then that also will help you because the more oxygen you're taking breaths. So now there's more oxygen being pumped into your bloodstream increasing the blood flow and now your brain your genitals they're super happy and oxygen rich everything's pumped it's all pumped up so you're probably thinking that you breathe naturally but you probably you might be holding it so just try this and try relaxing because I think you're just really stressed out about it it's a great tip because also if she spends more mindful of the breathing she's gonna stop thinking herself in a corner with as it gonna happen,

as it gonna happen. Now you're focusing on the breathing. Everything else kind of falls into place. Did she mention if she's capable of still doing having one on her own without him? She did, that's why I said. That's a big thing. I think that you might want to start masturbating more

on your own and just figuring out what's going on. And also, experimentally, what I told you about the breathing, using toys, using fingers, whatever it is that you normally do. And then you'll start to feel that orgasm again, because if you're just relying on this one relationship right now, because- I just got a couple of other boyfriend on the side. Yeah. So diversify.

What? Duty dating. What? I was actually going to talk about that what no shoot the guy don't do that but but No matter if you're in a relationship or not You need to always keep the masturbation going. I just wrote an article about this That should be out by now for ask men talking about like why it's so important that you need some masturbate because you do No matter what in a relationship or not. It should never stop. You should always stay in touch with your body do it That's what it got for you today.

If she, but back to the point though, obviously, if she can still make herself, but she can't with him anymore, the problem lies with him. If she can't with herself or with him, problem probably lies with her more than him. That is a really good point. I really think that you should try it with you, right.

If you're fine in your own and then you're with him, then there's something going on with you guys. That's a good point. That's just numbers, man. I'm just playing the numbers. I know, but I just think that a should try it with you, right? If you're fine in your own and then you're with him, then there's something going on with you guys. That's a good point of something. That's just numbers, man. I'm just playing the numbers. I know, but I just think that a lot of us stop ourselves from it. Way man, we don't have time or stress.

And that's why I made the candles I talked about, which actually, they do relax you, like a massage. It's a gateway. A gateway, massage is, right? How many times is giving a girl massage gotten you laid? Oh, that's like, that's the thing. Hey, you do that massage. Yeah, right So I gave it a lot of bartenders. So it was always like hey

You're serving me these free drinks and probably is painful on your back I'll pay you back a little massage after after really and then you go home with them for the bars years ago Different life. I know Before you're married. Yeah, yeah, and they leave they believed you they left with you No, I would give married. Yeah, yeah. And they believed you, they left with you. No, I would give them a massage. And yeah, okay. Well, I gotta say, I found for the massage thing too, because if you just start massaging my back,

my neck, my feet, anything, there's no woman on the planet who doesn't want that. You're letting them know a lot of what you can do to how you can mini-point to. Right, how are you with your hands? And then they get curious, like, oh, those could be painful. They can't, right, they got the clothes, the shirt off, maybe.

Is that whole, like, diet trap, even in a pulp a pulp fiction actually I was kind of pissed when I saw pulp fiction my keys given away my secrets quiet but he's talking about Samuel Jackson's talking about giving the foot massage and how that's a I don't remember this part yeah yeah because well it does also your the like reflexology like you push certain pressure points like in the Asian places that you go to they have a little maps of the feet you're like it orgasm big toe serious it's it's smart guys get smart at the female body and certain pressure points. Like in the Asian places that you go to, they have a little maps of the feet. You're more like it at orgasms. It's a big toe.

No I'm serious. It's smart guys. Get smart at the female body and her pressure points. And yeah. I got candle really even takes it up to the next level. You lost the candle. You guys took the medication right? I was using the candle.

I mean I can give you a massage. Actually there's this candle. You want to believe it, but there's a candle that is actually made for a massage. No way, really? Yeah, I got one of my car. I'll show you later. It's a great, I'm telling you. I know so many guys who have done that. It's so creepy. I did not like myself back then. No, but it's actually made for a massage. No way, really? Yeah, I got one of my caros, so you let it. It's a great, I'm telling you, I know so many guys have done that.

It's so creepy. I did not like myself back then. No, but it's true. You could like, no dudes, here's a deal. You should have a candle if you're a guy. You should just like candles. And it's not just for chicks. They look like regular candles.

They're from Emily and Tony. They're just like, they're beautiful. They're from France. They don't, and they're masculine and feminine looking like they're for both. There's actually a black one if you feel that's really masculine. But the point is they smell really good, so they're sensual, and the warm oil pours on her body.

It's not waxy or weird or like, why you pour in hot wax? I mean, and it's so sensual, because it drips, feels amazing, and then she's putty in your hands, or he's putty in your hands. It goes both ways, and it's not. You didn't make a battery operated one,

that actually has the fluid inside, and it could turn on, on its own. And turns it, turns it. It goes both ways in here. You don't make a battery operated one that actually has the fluid inside. I know it could turn on, on its own. It turns it. It turns it. Well yeah, like they've got those battery operated candles and they turn on like every 18 hours or whatever for six hours. Yeah, but they're not making you warm, luxurious massage.

But maybe like it heats up inside. What we'll talk about. I don't talk about that. We'll talk about it. Okay, Anderson, what else with you? How's the smoking thing? How many weeks beyond? No smoking.

It's good. I still steal from the wife here and there and you know, every now and again, I'm about in biobin or having some particular stress. I'll have a cigarette and I feel like an idiot because I go right back to vaping, which is really heavy cut down. I'm probably 200% of cut down. If not more.

I'm so impressed. I used to smoke like a packet a day. And now, at the end of a week, it probably averages out to about six cigarettes. Wow, interesting. And I'm still getting all vaping. I should not be smoking at all, but if it wasn't for craft Wow, interesting. This is amazing. It's all vaping. I should not be smoking at all, but if it wasn't for craft vapor, he'll come me up.

There's no way that I would be even close to where I'm at right now. So my lungs feel a lot better. I feel way better in the morning. And that's thanks to our friends over at craft vapor. And they got a little deal, much like you have some deals with your people. That's great.

Go to craft vapor. I did my due diligence in research before I actually approached them. I went to them and I said, hey, do you want to do something? Because I want to quit smoking and I want to work with you guys. And they said, yes, they're the only company that I approach too. So go to craft vapor, they have everything. And if you put an Anderson in the promo code, you get 20% off your order. So that's nice. Bam. Be like Anderson and quit smoking. Okay. I only said that if you smoke, don't be one of these people who's like, yeah,

I've been thinking about picking up vaping. Don't do that. Let's just do it. Don't pick up vaping. No. Don't do that. There's no time for that. Okay. Anderson, so what else?

And how's your film? Don't ball. It's doing great. We're last week we did red light green light where we look at movies in the future that I'm not even been made yet. And we red lighted them or green light. Oh, you're predicting how we're going to be. We're talking about movies that haven't even been made.

So you listen to that and you're like, you know about movies before they even like shot for one day, which is pretty cool. That is pretty cool. We'll check out his podcast. You're all podcasters, you're listening. And also if you like my show Anderson, show tell your friends.

I feel like people, most people, I was having breakfast with someone. She's like the same friend that we were talking about, blow jobs or whatever we were. She's like, I just don't get it how you listen. I'm like people, it's so easy. Wait, your friend, your idiot friend who doesn't like blow jobs doesn't understand I'm even randos people everywhere I go. They're like you just download like the podcast one app you download

I tuned if you have an I tuned man, just you play it like a song But all you people know this because you're listening to but tell your friends out easy is because it changes your life I got a friend who I he's a family friend. I've known him for years. Like he practically raised me. He was like my babysitter when I was a kid. And I haven't talked to him in a while. He moved out of state, but he called me up to the day. He's like, hey, I just learned about these podcasts.

And he's like, you know, middle age man. He just learned about podcasts. One of the first things he did was he's typing sex just to see what would pop up. He's a listener of your program. No, he listens to your friends. He is? I can't believe I didn't he listens to He is I can't believe I have been listening to podcasts for years like he feels like he's got time missed You know I mean like he has time to make up because it's like this whole new world There's so much not to listen with a jam down your throat on the restroom right fuck that fuck that

Yeah, that okay hashtag fuck that hashtag fuck that. Well Well this was awesome. Thank you Anderson for being here. I adore you. And thank you to all of you for listening to this show and supporting the show. And if you like it, tell your friends to listen or like send them to the recent show or send them the newsletter. I would love that because you know, I want to keep doing this for the rest of my life and I hope you all have better sex. You can also like us on Facebook, which is sexual-friendly and also follow me on Twitter because it's

a good, for good time, at sexual with Emily and Instagram, at Sex with Emily. Thanks for listening, was it good for you? email me, feedback at sexwithemely.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Okay, so you've heard me talk about candles. Oh, I was already talking about, I was, I guess I was really just, didn't talk about candles earlier than the show.

I was talking about the down under comfort earlier. Which I took, we talked some time. Divir, I'm so confused. I don't know if you gave all the info. I don't know if I did. I don't know if I did. So I make these candles, right? With my partner, Tony.

Emily and Tony is the brand. And we made them, and he's actually a skin crack expert. He has a huge line called Anthony's Skincare for Men, if you've used it. So you know these are high quality products, but you might even care about that. The point is, you need to spice things up in the bedroom. You need atmosphere. And a massage candle is the perfect thing because it says they atmosphere the mood and

then amazing sex follows because like we said, massage is an awesome way. It's an awesome gateway to get laid. No, to have to make your sex life better. Like what happens is like, let me just break it down. Looks like a rather candle, you light it. Smells amazing. You wait a few minutes, you wait 10 minutes, 20 doesn't matter.

Blow it out and you'll see that it's pooled into this warm oil. That's not wax, not messy, not hot. And then you pour it on your partner and it's like it like moves into your skin, like relaxes you instantly and it feels so luxurious and sensual and sexy and amazing to be honest, you know this. I understand. I love it. And I created them so you have the best sex of your life. I created them so you will feel something different with your partner and it'll get you in the mood and And it'll smell good and it's from a therapy.

How's that for a three-fer? So go to emilytoney.com, use code sex with Emily, 20% off your order for your first time, and also until June 8th, use code Emily fresh to receive a free-down at our comfort, which is our other thingy that's great for your

anywhere you sweat, when you buy a Menagetwa candle set. Now, the candle set comes all three candles, little mini ones, so you can try them all. Use code fresh till June 8th to get a free-down at our comfort. This is all at Emily and Tony.com. Thanks for listening. Hi, it's me, TV's Ross Matthews. You know, from the tonight's show, Chessie Lately, E-Red Carpets, blah, blah, blah. Well, now I have a podcast straight talk with me, Ross Matthews. You know, from the tonight show, Chessie Lately, E. Red Carpets, Bob-Bob-Bob, well now I have a podcast straight talk with me, Ross Matthews, and it has become the go-to destination for some of Hollywood's biggest stars from Lauren Conrad to Kristen Bell, Kelly Osborne, Brad Graski, RuPaul, and more.

And this week we have Britney Snow from Pitch Perfect 2, just like the biggest movie in the world, No Big Deal, coming up, Chloe Kardashian, and who knows who else! Straight Talk with Ross Matthews on hotcaps1.com