Sex With Emily - Seducing the Booty w/ Alicia Sinclair

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Are you curious about anal play, but don’t know where to get started? It’s Anal August, so we’ve invited certified sex educator and B-Vibe CEO Alicia Sinclair on the show to break down all things booty. In today’s episode, we talk about how to experiment with beginner butt play, avoiding common anal mistakes, progressing your anal play (from analingus to penetration), and the best products for anal training and butt orgasms—yup, they’re real.Plus, we answer your questions about the best ways to prep and unwind after engaging in any sort of butt stuff, how to actually find your prostate, how to let go of shame and replace it with glorious anal pleasure.Show Notes:Woo More PlayArticle: Anal Massage: Master the Best Anal Foreplay TechniquesOHNUT Pjur LubeAnerosAlicia's last appearance on Sex w/ Emily: Snug Plugs, Butt Hugs, & b-Vibes with Alicia SinclairFor more information about Alicia Sinclair, visit: bvibe.comFor even more sex advice, tips, and tricks visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your finger is your best text toy. It's about the size of what you want to start with, and playing with yourself allows you to be giver and receiver, right? So you can control depth, you can control frequency. If that makes you uncomfortable like be your partner's finger or a small butt plug about the size of your finger. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a male obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize they call them in a fight on day. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Alright, this is the episode you've been waiting for. Are you curious about anal play but don't know where to get started? Well, it's analogue, so we've invited certified sex educator and B-Vib CEO Alicia Sinclair on the show today to break down all things booty. On today's episode, we talk about how to experiment with beginner butt play, avoiding

common anal mistakes, progressing your anal play from analingis to penetration and the best products for anal training and butt orgasms. Yep, they're real. Plus we answer your questions about the best ways to prep and unwind after engaging in any sort of butt stuff, how to actually find your prostate, what an anal orgasm feels like, how to let go of shame and replace it with glorious anal pleasure. All right, intentions with Emily for each episode. Join me in setting an intention. What do you want to get out of this episode? Well, I do it. And my

intention was to bring you a comprehensive one-stop shop podcast where you learn all things anal and we answer your most pressing questions you can explore in the healthiest way possible and have the most pleasure. And remember we so appreciate when you rate and review the podcast and subscribe wherever you listen. It helps us keep this show free. And I just love you all. We love reading your reviews. Thank you, thank you.

New article on the site is five ways to boost your sex drive, ASAP. And one more note, we're gonna be relaunching our YouTube channel shortly. So if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube channel, it's sex with Emily like everything else like all of our social Subscribe and look for videos of the podcast coming very soon So excited if you have a question you want me to answer on the show call my brand new hotline

559 talk sex or 559 825 5739 just leave me your questions there or just message me sexwithfamily.com slash ask Emily. Alright everybody, enjoy this episode. Today my guest is Alicia Sinclair. She's a sex educator and creator of BVib as in but BVib. An amazing company created to support all things anal play. Alicia Sinclair recognizes the importance of sexual well-being with over 16 years of experience in the sexual intimacy industry. She has made it her mission to help people achieve pleasure by providing them with superior and heavily research products, approachable educational materials, and extensive coaching and support. Hi, Alicia! I guess we should

just break this down for people the best way to start exploring anal play if you've never done it before. If you've never done it, I know it sounds really annoying, but like take some time to educate yourself. I would say like one of the things that really drove me really strongly to create what now we call our anal academy on v5.com is the fact that like my first experiences with anal play were

not pleasurable because I didn't have any type of knowledge or understanding of what makes anal play pleasurable. And I just thought like many heterosexual women that I've spoken to, that this was like something you did for your partner. It was like a Christmas or like birthday present and you just like got drunk and like grunt there. And it was not a fun experience. And so I think when you learn that like, anal training, right, like slowly graduating through a series of sizes before you experiment with something the size of a penis in your butt, using lots of lube, right, being mentally prepared, and just kind of understanding and

like having a dialogue with your partner about like limits, consent, like those type of things can really make your experience. They all sound like annoying rules, but actually they enable like really awesome experiences. Yeah, it's like demystifying and getting rid of all, you know, there's so many myths around it. There's so many misconceptions, but you write it just yeah, we just they go, it's going to be anal, and I'm going to, yeah, it's going to be your holiday present, like happy birthday. Right. So the best way to start, just start exploring, figure out what you like if you don't with a finger, but it's okay to say to a partner, I'm not ready for that yet. Let's just experiment, let's explore. Yeah. Yeah, we don't

want to like rush through it. So people are saying anal sex. They just think it means penis goes into the butthole. That's anal. But anal play, what we're talking about is anal play is that what do you actually want? Like, is it a finger? Do you have you done anything before? Do you want to explore? So yeah, kind of let's talk about that. Where do people start on their journey? I mean, there's anal massage. There's like ringine. There's ass worship. There's, you know, like, butt plugs, there's seeds, there's dildos, like, there's really a lot in this category. And then if you're starting, I think kind of a cool thing is,

like, what I like is, like, adding a new type of food into your, like, restaurant routine, it's like, there's so many things to try that you've never tried before. And I don't know, it's exciting because, you know, if you're starting to answer your question to give you the simple answer, like your finger is your best sex toy. It's about the size of what you want to start with. And playing with yourself allows you to be giver and receiver, right?

So you can control depth, you can control frequency, you know, like that. So your finger is your best friend. If that makes you uncomfortable, like the ear partners finger, or a small butt plug about the size of your finger. So something like our snug plug one, if you see that little guy, that's a great place. You can put it in. You can feel what's the that has a little bit of weight in it. Small, small, small neck. So it's, it'll be, you know, you'll get it in and then you'll be able to test what the sensation feels like. That makes sense. So what's some of your favorite products that you sell? Okay, I like the Rimmie plug. That was our first patented product. What makes that special, right? Rotating beads in the neck of the product.

So it's a dual stimulation, but plug. Right. It's one of the very few things like like a rabbit for your butt, make it really simple. I like that. It is a bit more of an intermediate to experienced user plug. So I would say if you've been in the anal play game for a bit, that's a great product. I think our snug plugs, which we have in now six sizes, vibrating and non-bibrating, those are incredible because you can have a whole journey with with those and they're really comfortable and they're weighted and I just think that weight doesn't get a lot of like love in the sex toy game like most people think like vibration or suction and like these but like there's something about weight inside the body like I just think it feels so good. How do you know though if you have like the weighted versus the vibration? Like do you find somebody who are like, I just don't want vibration, but they want the weight, you know what?

I guess it's all about experimenting, right? It's all about experimenting and it's like different goals respond differently to different things. So like your vagina might really enjoy vibration while your butt enjoys weight. But this is the cool thing about experimenting and like it's play time.

You get to like really like, yeah, enjoy. You have the best job, Alicia, really. I mean, people just, it's true. You truly do, you truly do. What are some of the mistakes that you hear from people a lot that they're making with anal? I think the number one mistake is probably like pain, people experiencing pain. And a lot of that is due, I think probably going to too fast,

too, you know, too quickly and not using enough lube. So it's like we say slow and slippery. That's like how do I like, you know, like slow and slippery is key. Yes. Yes. Slow and slippery. That's it. Everyone just remember, am I going slow and is it slippery?

Then you're just going to cut out a lot of the mistakes that you can make and a lot of the pain because it doesn't have to be painful. It shouldn't be. Oh, God. I know. So let's get into some emails because we let everyone know you were coming on the show at the shop and we got so many questions. So I just want to get into them because I thought it's 80 sex month. Okay, this is from Sophia. She's 38 Canada. Hey, Dr. Emily, my ex always

asked for anal and I wasn't into it with him for various reasons, but I'm not fundamentally opposed and I wonder future partners will ask. So I want to know what you recommend to start with or explore. Yeah, I like this question because it sounds to me like she's taking an ownership of making it pleasurable for herself before she's willing to say yes. So I like loved the way that's all put together. But I think, you know, experimenting with small sex toys, for example, like the snug plug one that I recommended or the novice plug. I don't know if you've seen that one, but that's about the size of a finger and it's remote control So what's cool about that is you can put it in your butt and then you can experiment with patterns and intensity Like different vibration on your own body and see how you like that and actually what's I mean my personal tip

You will like you know masturbation, you know like just adding a little something in the butt feels really good Like when your regular masturbation routine. So that might be a great way to just introduce anal play into your own solo sex life before you like move into her play. I 100% agree with you because then there's less pressure. No one's looking at you. You can go at your own pace and I love that you have the remote control because this means that you don't have to keep fuddling around. You're just like lying back doing your thing and this helps you control the toy. No butt clicking.

No butt clicking. Exactly. Oh my God. Okay. Listen, those two products are great. What I was really thinking about is like price point, like a snug plug is $45. So if you're like really on the fence and you're not sure, buy a snug plug, that's a great, you know, you can experiment. It's also great for long-term wear. So you want to, you know, wear it before anal sex, if you will. It's a great like precursor. And

the novice plug is really fun because you'll have, that's like an investment that you'll have for a long time. And what's cool, even if you, when you get to that point or hopefully you get to that point where you decide anal sex is for you you can give the remote control to your partner and like you guys can play together and you know you could take it out to a bar like I've done that's fun go to a casino you know like there's a way like a dynamic that's the fun stuff that is the fun about you know I tell you I am I've become very fond of it Alicia so I might need to place an order for some that I don't have to fill out my collection, but we'll talk after. It's not about me.

Thank you so fear for your question. This is from Ellie 24 in Illinois. Hey, Dr. Emily, my name is Ellie from Illinois, and I'm 24 years old. My boyfriend of two and a half years keeps asking me to eat his anus. He has to be about eating his anus, but I've never heard of it, a guy wanting that done.

I also don't even know where to begin. If I did do this for him, please help. Okay, yeah. So I would say there's like a couple of things I want to break down. Number one, toxic masculinity. So the entire concept of that being that like if a man, heterosexual man enjoys anal play, that must therefore make him gay. And so just want to remind everybody that like

the sensations that you feel in your body have nothing to do with like who you're attracted to. So like he likes the way it feels when his butt is stimulated. That's it. It doesn't have anything more to do with anything other than that, like literally. It just feels good. And I would say like if that's something you're open to, my kind of trick that I feel like is a great place to start is flavored lube, you know, so find like a flavor lube or hint that you really like cherry vanilla, like caramel, whatever your flavor is. And like use that for a lot of lube and then like, you know, basically like the lube off and like start there and use it as a four-play thing and like see how you feel about it.

Like, you know, I love the anal loop. It's so true. I love Joe Lou, but when you said the caramel, I think I have it right here. They taste delicious. I mean, I've literally had them on ice cream before. Yeah. We had them on ice cream at the trade show, right?

Yeah, that at the trade show. It was so good. It was so good. They're like, here's some gelato and here's some flavored loop on the great. I will love it. It was so fun. So that's a great place to start. So just, just, yeah, like off the

leaves, yeah, like literally eating an ice cream cone. Yeah. And you can use kind of the same techniques that you would like up and down, right, around in a circle, right, you know, back of, yeah, just like you're literally eating an ice cream cone around the outside, but it, you know, like, get fun with it. Exactly. Like, make sure some doesn't drip, like get it all the way around, and you're gonna go inside. Play with those cheeks, smack them around a little bit while you're there.

Cause it's not just the whole, right, it's the whole, and you can even massage it, like to open up, to release tension. We all carry so much tension in our anus, so you can give a massage. This is the sput's slowing sex down, exploring the whole area. I love, that's a great anal angus explanation. And with the sput slowing sex down, exploring the whole area. I love that's a great

analingus explanation. And with the flavored lube. So good, Yisha. Ah, okay, getting hungry. So this is from Becca 37 in Kentucky. Hey, Dr. Emily, can a monogamous couple male female share anal toys? Washed between uses, of course. I figure if we have unprotected sex, what's the harm in sharing an anal toy? Am I wrong in this line of thinking? No, you're not, especially if you're cleaning them properly. I would say my best recommendation would be to use a non vibrating anal toy because that's something you can sterilize.

So what I mean by that is like something that's glass, metal, or made of silicone that doesn't have a motor inside. You can boil those toys, you can put them in the dishwasher, and that would make them really safe to share. If you still have a little bit of concern, you can always put a condom on a toy. And that protects the toy, creates a barrier, and makes it super easy to share.

So if you're not really bonded with somebody, it sounds like this couple has been together a long time, they're monogamous. So this is probably a very safe scenario for them, but even if you're not with somebody, like you're not exclusively with somebody, you can do the condom thing and that therefore protect your sex toys. To fix so much sense, we get so many questions from people who say, how can I share toys or how do I, is it wrong to have toys from one lover to another? It's like, you're not going to throw out expensive toys, but you put a condom on it. No way. He's a mind toy. He's a condom on it.

That's a really good, so do you have any of your silicone toys that you recommend from B-Vib for that? If you're going to share a toy, I think the best things would be snug plugs. Those are totally fine to boil because there's no motor inside. Basically, I don't, yeah, there's the slamer where you're still ruined your motor if you put it in water. Okay. If you're boiling it specifically, but, but you can always use, you know, like, we like to recommend, because sometimes people write us with like concerns

around smell of their products, you know, they wear a butt plug for three or four hours and maybe like has a little bit of an odor. So we say use a solution with like lemon juice. Actually lemon juice is like a really, it's an antibacterial, it smells good to like wash your toy. I like using like a mild soap or a sex toy cleanser specifically, so you don't get grade,

especially silicone toys. And then like use a little solution with lemon and just like clean your toy. It actually gives it like a nice smell and it makes it a little cleaner. That makes so so much sense so you just put a little bit of lemon in like a water like a water soap mix kind of it yeah yeah yeah and then there's a way to do with our floors here that makes sense do with your toys. Maybe some way to do it. Who knows? Already so good right whatever you need it's fine just clean it just make sure that you clean them

yeah important okay so I have a question from Instagram about how long and I've gotten this question a few times. How long can someone leave a plug in? Sounds like a challenge. I would say the longest I've heard of anybody wearing one and I'm sure there are people that wear them for longer amounts of time, but it's like around eight hours. So people often tell us through customer service that they wear them to work. So that's actually pretty, I mean, at least for us, is something we commonly hear. Our recommendation is two to three hours. Like take it out, re-lood, like, you know, because your body can, you know, absorb, lubricant. But yeah, two to three hours is our normal recommendation. Okay.

So what do you think that is when people wear them to work? Like I've worn kegoballs during the day, weight balls, but it wasn't for anything sexual, it was like, because it actually straightens your muscles when you're walking around, but I don't know. I haven't gone that deep, but they don't tell me. What do you think? I, from what I understand from the folks who've written into us is that they feel like it's kind of like a secret.

Tevue, yeah. Yeah, and it's kind of kinky. And then the other dynamic that I've heard regularly is that it's a doms-submissive thing, and they've been told to wear it. Yeah. That's kind of hot too. Or just some Anyone knowing it. Yeah, no, that is really hot actually. It's if you like it's a dom sub thing or just Because it is people don't know that's why I love the remotes because you could also do this with a partner, take it to a restaurant, have the remote, they're wearing the butt plug, no one knows. I've done stuff like that but I'm thinking about going to work and being focused with the butt plug in but it depends on your job. All right, thank you Alicia.

That's awesome. Okay so this is from, I love it. I want to read your emails. We get to when emails I'm sure that you get the best customers emailing you, the best emails you do. Yeah, we get a lot of personal shares. Because they're so happy, they can't believe that these products exist and how good they feel.

That is, yeah, it's amazing, yeah. That's it, Alicia, good on you. Okay, this is from Rick. My wife thinks anal sex is only for gay men. I said, read about it and see how many women have tried it. And many women seem to like it if you take it very slow with lots of lube and these suggestions. Oh, so his wife doesn't want to do it. Yeah.

She basically is saying she doesn't believe him. She doesn't think it's anyone should do it. And like, it's not even true that it could feel good to a woman, I suppose. So I have, I guess, really two things to say about that. Number one is, you know, educate together. That can be, and it sounds like he's trying, right? He said some really like key things, right? Slow and slippery, you had it right there.

I think maybe like sharing some more information could be an idea or reading together or offering anal play in a dynamic that's not penetration. So maybe some anal massage with fingers so that it's less pressure. That sounds more sensual than I want to put my penis in your butt. Maybe I could massage you with my fingers. And we can see if you like that sensation. So start small, I guess, is kind of the key from that. The other part of it is, at some point,

if your partner tells you, you also have to respect that your partner told you now. And you can try as much as you want, but there is going to be a chance that the person may never come around to that, and you will have to accept that, because that is a boundary for them. All really good points. What about anal massage? How would someone start with anal massage?

I think what we were talking about earlier in that adfeeding, which is you can use a massage oil, especially if you're just playing with fingers, right? You can use a nice coconut oil. I love woo-woo for example example, of a great meld yummy. But you could rug that and then maybe start on the outside. And like you said, kind of squeezed and play around a little bit. And then maybe just move. We have on our blog, which I'm happy to send a whole thing with different finger massages.

Oh, there's different techniques, sort of around the whole, if you will, and little techniques, you know, sort of like around the whole if you will a little circle then like sort of spreading and putting back and maybe just dipping a fingertip here and there while you're like erotically massaging. So, you know, there's like using the whole area as inspiration for your artwork. Oh, that's so good. We'll put that in the show so you guys could follow along. Okay, this is from Bella. She's 27 in British Columbia. Hey, Dr. Emily, I've been dating my boyfriend for two months' ish. I'm absolutely in love with him.

I'm having the best sex in my life. He's never had anal sex, but he recently brought it up. I've tried it in the past, but I didn't enjoy it, and I've never done it sober. I'm trepidated because he's quite large, and it's been uncomfortable and painful with smaller penises. However, I want to have this experience with him. How can I prepare and make this good for both of us? Thank you. Love you. Oh, what a sweet heart. I love her.

The best listeners. Great. That's when she wants to have even better sex. I love her. I love her too. Okay, so I would say definitely a training set is gonna be key in this scenario. And what we mean by training is like, literally think about exercise, you know? So you're gonna like, think about butt plugs as like yoga stretches, you know, you're gonna go further and you're gonna take your time

and you're gonna listen to your body and do it when it's like appropriate for you and it feels good. It's not a race. But I would say like plan and like take your time and definitely like, you know, read up a little bit more on Yale training. That would be a good idea because if you're preparing for penis and you want it to feel good, right, you need to be using sizes appropriate. So I would probably try and find a toy like before you go to penetration,

that's maybe like one to two fingers smaller than the girth of the penis. So when I'm talking about fingers, I'm really talking about width versus length. Okay. So like maybe like look at that penis and like find a sex toy that's's slightly smaller to it and work your way towards that. And then when you reach that last plug, if you will, then you may be ready for the penis. And I would say lots and lots and lots of lube. And also, there's a really great product. It's called Onut.

I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but it's like rings that you can put on the penis that creates basically like a cushion so it doesn't go all the way inside the body so it shortens the depth and that might be helpful to start with those. Mmm. I love the O-nut. Yeah, before you like, you know, go the whole pickable enchilada, if you will. Exactly. You don't have to take the whole in Shalada. You can go slow. And so I guess what we're talking about, I love this question because we get so many of these. It was painful before, my wife who just wants anal sex.

So what we're trying to explain in this show, which is why I love Alicia being here, is that it's playful, it's a build up. You don't just jump right into anal. You get to build up to it, and that's fun. It's not like it's a training, because you're going to get to this apex. No, it's actually all really pleasurable and enjoyable.

Now I'm gonna put out your beginner ail kit because now you're making me think like the two fingers. Yeah, so you see like one's about the size of your finger and then you're gonna move up and then it's kind of like two fingers and then the last one's like three fingers. I love the weighted. Yeah, and then what's cool about that set is

there's three different plugs with three different sensations. So this is also gonna help you figure out what you like, right, do you like vibration? Do you like a really flexible silicone plug? Do you like weight? So this is also giving you a little bit of an experimentation along with your sizing up.

I'm so happy to have this. This just came for me. And I gave one of the, you gave me one in the past, and I gave it away. And for like a year, I've been like, I really wish I had the anal train day. It's like when you clean out your closet, you're like, why did I do that?

Why did you want to leave? And then the loof shooter, can we just tell? Oh, first, what's the best loo, do you recommend for anal play? It's kind of a tricky question. I would, if you're using a sex toy, right? If you're using a silicone sex toy, you want to get like a thick water-based loop. So you're looking for something that typically says water-based gel. And then if you are playing with

fingers or glass or silicone sex toys, I highly recommend silicone lubricant or oil-based loop. Just want to flag that like oil- lube is not safe for condom use so If you're playing with the toy doesn't matter, but if you're playing with like another person then just know those aren't safe for condoms Okay, very helpful Pure has an anal lube pure PJ you are they have an anal lube They're medical line or medic line. I don't know. It's in a white bottle It's awesome. We we love that one. I love pure loop. Can we talk about the loop shooter for a minute? Sure. I haven't used it yet, but I'm very excited too. So what is the concept of a loop shooter?

Think about it kind of like, I know the shortens, it looks a little bit like a turkey baster. Yeah. And it kind of works the same way. So you want to basically put it, you know, take the lid off your loop, put it in your loop, you know, pull up. And then you can directly deposit the lube to wherever you can use it vaginally. It doesn't have to just be but it's great for anal play because it lubricates the anal canal. So a lot of times what happens is people put lube on, maybe they put it on the outside of the body, maybe they put it on the sex toy or the penis. But like, if you think about like, I call it the squeegee effect, like, you have this really tight but whole, you know, you put something in it and like all the lube kind of gets like

squeegeed off, if you will. Yeah. So I like a lube applicator because you can put a lot of lube inside your anal canal and that'll just help with the friction. Yeah, think about like anal sex without lubricant is like snakeburn. That is the best way that I can give you an example. So the lubricant, you get it in there, it kind of drips out, it's really sexy, it's slippery, feels great. It's fun and sexy and then you should have to reapply as much. You like to lube out of the way. We got the slippery part done. Let's just and sexy and then you should have to reapply as much. You're like, okay, and loop out of the way.

We got the slippery part done. Let's just keep going slow, slow and slippery. We're going to take a quick break to hear from our sponsors. When we're back, Alicia and I get into your Instagram questions like, what's the difference of gene anal beads and butt plugs? Okay, so now those are emails we got a bunch from Instagram too. What's the difference between anal beads and butt plugs? The main difference is butt plugs go in and stay in.

So like when you put a butt plug in, a properly designed, well designed butt plug, it has a neck, you know, and the neck will sit like where anal sphincter is, and that's meant to keep it to state so it stays in place, right? Straight up and down, butt plug just fits right out. So it has a nice neck and it stays in there and what it's goal is really doing is it's providing pressure, sensation,

preparing you for penetrative sex, if that's your goal. And anal beads are the opposite, literally. Their entire intention is to stimulate the anal sphincter through movement, through in-out movement. So, like those beads are kind of like popping on that double-ringed, what we would call your asshole, right, that double-ringed muscle. And that sensation actually feels really pleasurable. So it's two different things.

Like, one's going in, it's giving pressure, sensation. The other one is through movement, right? A stimulating anal sphincter. Some people pull them out, dip them in, back and forth. Yes. Okay. When should I use a dildo for anal exploration? I would say, like, whenever you're wanting to emulate the experience of sex.

So because dildos aren't going to be designed to probably work with a strap on or to be held and used like to stimulate. And so that's probably something that you're going to want to use. You can use them on your own. You can use sex for it anyway. You want, but a lot of times that's used in a part or dynamic. So maybe in strap-on sex or pegging if that's your thing. But realistically, whenever you want, whenever you're ready for that side. Whenever you're ready,

you could do it right now when you're done listening. Okay, good methods to help my partner warm up and relax for insertion so it's more enjoyable for them. I think Adel massage is a great place to start. You want to bring as much blood flow to the genitals as you can, right? That's also provides more stimulation. Breathing exercises, like we talk a lot about like breathing exercises and like being grounded in your body. I mean, I love that this person asked that question. That is like, Hey, I like this partner. I love them.

That's how you're going to get anal. If you, that's your whole thing. I mean, that's how you start thinking about what could I do for my partner? When it's all about your pleasure, what you want in your orgasm and your thing, that's not how you're going to have the best sex of your life. Now, you're going to have your needs met being loved. It's giving and receiving. Yep.

Oh, let's just give a little bit more. Okay. So let's talk about the prep then since everyone's been waiting for that. Everyone wants to know, am I going to poop? Is it going to be messy? But what do you say to this, Leisha? Love having you here. Tell me.

I mean, the reality is like, it's possible. Like shit happens, you know, like it. It is something that you will kind of have to, I guess, mentally prepare yourself for this possible. But I think there's a lot of things that you can do ahead of time because this is a question that really freaks people out and often prevents them from having anal sex, especially good anal sex. So, things you can do to prep is like have a backup plan. What I mean by that is lay down a dark towel.

So if there is a mess, it's like really easy for you to like pull off the towel and it's like not standing anything, have baby wipes nearby. That's also like a really great, you know, start a great way to clean mess up quickly. And then if you want to prepare your body, like the best thing is to under, hopefully you understand your digestive tract

a little bit, meaning your anal canal, right, when you empty it, it doesn't refill again until you're ready to go the bathroom again. So like, who doesn't sit in your anal canal all day, right? This is like a, it's a pass through, if you will. So my point is, if you know that you go to the bathroom every morning and then typically you don't go to the bathroom again until the next morning, like that is your window of time when you're probably clean.

Most people that I know like to take the extra step of doing what we would call an internal rinse or an enema. What basically all you're doing is washing out that small, you only need a bulb that you had in your hand. We're talking about less than a cup of water. Give you the quick and simple way to do it. You fill that bowl with warm water, or you can buy something.

It doesn't have to be this one, but this is kind of the common dynamic. The bowl fill it with just warm water. Don't use anything that's still laxative. Don't prevent a girl in your body, no coffee, literally just warm water. You lubricate the tip of the end of the end of it. Put it inside your body.

Push the bowl, the water the put it inside your body. Push the the bulb. The water will expel into your body. You'll feel like you have to go to the bathroom right away or within the next a minute. Sit on the toilet and go to the bathroom. If there was a lot of stuff that came out, repeat that process. And when the water is clear,

there's nothing in your in your wreck that many longer. And you want to do that at least 45 minutes to an hour before you play Because there's little folds in your anal canal and like water can get in there So there's a possibility you might go to the bathroom again You might have some more water that comes out. So just plan ahead do it 45 minutes for an hour beforehand And you'll have a nice shiny rectum Exactly just make sure you know again Nice shiny rectum. I love it. That's it. It's not that hard to buy. Exactly.

Just make sure, yeah, again, I want to warn you, it's using the vinegar and all those other things. You really don't need that. And is there any foods like you, some of my Instagram said, should you watch your diet before anal? What do you eat? Yeah, you, just probably not a great day if you talk about, or like Indian food, or, you know, like, if you know, you're going to have anal sex, you know, maybe eat on the lighter

side, fibers your best friend, right? So when you do go to the bathroom, you're having like good foods, you know, like, if you know you're going to have anal sex, you know, maybe eat on the lighter side, fibers your best friend, right? So when you do go to the bathroom, you're having like good poos, you know, just, yeah, stay away from foods that irritate your stomach, you know. Exactly, just like you should anyway for healthy, you know, having healthy sex and healthy sexual response and arousal desire, it all matters that we are healthy, we have good blood flow, that we exercise. So it's really the same stuff that you know about being healthy overall, you know, you know, if you go to talk about that wasn't your healthiest day,

no judgment on that, but anyway, think about that. But just not on needle sex day. Not on needle sex day. So some people want to know, some info on the pre and post work that goes into anal play. Like the pre, we just did the pre.

Yeah, so we need to put a pre-work. Yeah, you're taking your time, you're going slow, you're sizing up gradually, you're using lots of lube, maybe you're doing an NMI, you're eating the right food throughout the day. You're in a state of mind where you want to have anal sex, you're late at a tally of baby wipes nearby. That's why you're crap.

And then tell your post stuff. If you are, it depends if you're the receiver or the giver. If you're the giver, your responsibility is to make sure the receiver is doing good. You know, check in with your care. Yes, after care, 100%. So you wanna make sure that like, if you just had a really rough experience

and that was consensual and you both enjoyed it, maybe you know, run on a nice warm bath, but that's insulting it and let them like sort of sit and relax, maybe give them a little bit of a body massage, also warm washcloths, you know, can help ease like areas that are in pain, but like the simple aftercare is, you know, a baby wife and telling them, hey, I really loved, I really love that session. Exactly. So feedback and washing your toys, putting them like in the sink, you can go back and wash them after

but make sure that you do. We already covered that. So someone else has douching before makes me feel unsexy. How do I get back in the mood? Well, you want to do it in a time, maybe do it two or three hours prior to your experience. Yeah, versus so close. Mm-hmm. And then get yourself in the mood. That's a good point. So someone says, two or three hours prior to your experience, yeah, versus so close. And then get yourself in the mood. That's a good point.

So sometimes it's due to prepare every time what happens if it's spontaneous. Again, you just have to know your, yeah, know your digestive system. Is that like a poop specific question? Probably. Well, because it's like, you have to prepare every time.

I mean, I would say like the short answer is like, yes, you do, because anal sexes should never be a surprise, right? For either of you, for various reasons. Yeah, because it's true. I mean, some day you're just gonna have an off day. Like, I've had to tell my partner every now and then, like, yeah, today's done a day for anal sex.

Right, exactly. Know your body. Yeah, know your body. Okay, tension. Okay, is it dangerous? I heard stories of something ripping. People ask this question a lot. Also, if there can be permanent damage, there are such things as anal fizzures.

Those are tears inside the anal canal. And they typically result, you know, when people aren't kind to their body. And what we mean by that is you haven't gently and slowly graduated to the size of the object that you're putting inside your body. What we mean by that is you haven't gently and slowly graduated to the size of the object that you're putting inside your body. You probably didn't use lube. Maybe the person that you're with went too hard or too fast with their own depth and penetration.

So all of those things, yeah, they can cause tears. I would say the caveat with all of that is that will probably most likely heal, just like you get micro tears in the vaginal canal when you have sex. Anal fizzures typically heal. I mean, it's not something like if it hurts, you're probably not going to repeat that over and over and over. I would hope not. There's no long-term damage to having anal sex. You're, it's a muscle. You're actually a very strong muscle, which is why

we have to gradually stretch it. But yeah,, there's not long-term damage, and if you're concerned about that, kegels. Actually, kegels will not only strengthen your vaginal canal, right? But it's also strengthening your entire pelvic, what we call the hammock. So you get everything. It's like the butt and the vagina. So just do your kegels. Yes. Kegels are just a win-win for all of your body.

Yes, really truly. After the break, we answer more of your questions like, can I go back and forth from vaginal to anal sex? And how do I find my prostate? I'm a girl for a nile of anal sex, but is there such thing as too much anal? I mean, I feel like, what is too much to you and what is too much to me? I don't think so. I mean, if you're happy and it feels good and there's nothing wrong with your body, I'm

going to go with no. Yeah, if there's a lot of pain or if you don't want to have it anymore, you're no longer consenting too much. Yeah, but these folks sound happy. They're happy. They're like how much is too much? Okay, I love to pleasure my wife Orally until she orgasms. Is it dangerous to lick the butt then back to the vagina? It is dangerous to combing goal. Nothing that goes in the butt should go in the vagina. Just still like out of a, you know, abundance of caution. I wouldn't, I mean, we don't, we don't even white from butt to vagina.

Like we don't use anything that way. So I would say probably don't go that direction. But I like his enthusiasm. Yes, I really appreciate it. I'm glad he asked. These are amazing partners. Exactly. So having trouble finding my prostate,

a hashtag self-play. Yeah, pretty common one. I would say it's good to be aroused, right? Because your prostate is going to fill a blood and be a little larger when you're aroused. I might suggest a toy, sometimes toy. I don't know if this person is using a toy, so I'm making assumption. But, you know, using a toy that's really specifically angled for prostate pleasure is something I would highly suggest. But it is in a place where it's like two inches inside curvy little fingers, the same place the G spot would be located inside of a gena. So if it comes here, their motion.

Yeah. What toys do you recommend for that? We don't have anything that's directly built for prostate simulation I would recommend I think a narrow makes really great prostate products. They do that are yeah I think they're very well designed by folks who are like super into that market Yeah, they're like you but for the prostate like the a narrow says all about correct prostate toys You can think very specific that's shaped to the prostate That's shaped to fit into the prostate, but yeah, you start with yeah fingers and Lou, but check out a narrow's

Yep, okay, Lisa. Can you describe someone wants to know what an anal orgasm feels like? Oh sure, I can like give you what I know an anal organ feel like and what I've heard So I would say that it feels like a little bit more, if you're speaking with a body with a vagina, like different type of pressure, it resonates in a different place. My experience is with like, literal orgasms is that they're very local,

they're localized, whereas something that's like an anal orgasm feels like it's body orgasms, wider, deeper, fuel. So, and yeah, I think it's like an anal orgasm feels like a body orgasm, wider or deeper, if you will. And yeah, I think it's like different for everybody, like where your clitoris or your prostate is located can have an effect on that. Which is why some people love it and other people don't like it so much. Yeah, but I would say more full body. Yeah, more full body. Yeah, I would say deeper.

Any tips on how to transition from oral and finger play to full penile penetration? How to transition. I would say like, wow, I hope they've anal trained before. That's like my one. I'm like, and then, you know, if we're putting it a penis, you know, I would say that this isn't so different from vaginal sex. You know, if you're like warming some, you know, a lot of foreplay, you're playing with fingers and then you're like maybe, you know, moving to putting a penis in the butt. You know, like, I feel like this is a very similar dynamic, just, you know, one hole back. Yeah, it's a really good advice.

It is. At least it's such a dream having you here because I just need answers here and I just, it's such a dream having you here, because I just, I, people that need answers here. And I just, it's great. So this is a big one. How do work do the shame and embarrassment your partner feels surrounding their bottle? Yeah. Oh, I feel for this person. Positive affirmations would be my number one, like, remind this person, like how sexy they

are or how great, how good this feels or how much you love doing this with them. Ultimately, it's going to be this person's responsibility to work through that shame and that can come from religion and society and lots of different places. But I think being there for them and supporting them along the way is probably the best thing you can do. Absolutely. Again, these partners, I know. It's such a process of getting rid of the shame and embarrassment, but it's a combination of education and realizing, like, do these messages still serve me? Is this like a heterosexual man, maybe?

I don't know. I wish it had more context. I know. I always feel that too. I wish everyone was here. Yeah. With us. Is there a risk of an STI for

the giver? For the giver. Yeah. If you're not using condoms, yes. There's always a risk of the STI. Even even if it's oral play, there's risk of STI. There's always a risk, you guys. Always a risk. Make sure that you and your partner are tested or use a condom. Use a dental down. Definitely. Okay. I have chronic external hemorrhids that cause so much pain will anal be more painful. I would probably yes, they yes. Yes, they call it like a 24. It's like I'm sorry, but yes. Like that's the one place too much anal, not a good thing. Yeah. That's work on those hemorrhids. I have hypertension in my pelvic floor. Well, that affect anal sex as it does vaginal. Your attention in my pelvic floor will that affect anal sex as it does vaginal? It's a possibility.

You'll have to experiment with your body. I would go very slow and be very gentle with yourself. There is a possibility that it might not have, you know, for example, some people that have chronic vaginal pain, anal sex is a great option for them. You know, like, for example, somebody who has vaginism, you know, anal sex might feel really good for them or somebody who has isinism, anal sex might feel really good for them or somebody who has is on depression medication and has lost sensation, maybe anal sex is a great option for them.

So it's possible, I would say definitely something to experiment slow and gentle. Exactly. Just go slow and experiment. That's true because if there's a lot of tension in their pelvic floor, you just don't know, it's all related. So yeah, get checked out, just try it. See how you feel? Rimming, I have anxiety of my partner going back and forth

and getting a UTI advice. We don't know the gender on this, but yeah, back and forth. Don't go back and forth. Don't go back and forth. Yeah, no double dipping. That's a golden rule. No double dipping. No double dipping.

But I mean, maybe just ask them to start in the front and work their way back. Like, you know, we're the show end. Exactly. You will. Stay there, exactly. Oh, well, that's where the show was. That's actually where the show was. This was not even scripted.

Oh, my God, Alicia. It is such a delight seeing you. This was so helpful. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your beautiful products. Anything else coming out that you're most excited about? I do want to check out some of your unicorn products in person. Can you just tell me about those?

They're awesome. Oh yeah, we came out in the summer. We just really wanted to do something that was like nostalgic and fun. And so we really leaned into a unicorn concept. And we have this like sparkly blue unicorn butt plug that has a removable unicorn concept. And we have this sparkly blue unicorn butt plug that has a removable unicorn tail. So it's very cosplay, very silly,

but the plug is still pretty damn strong and it feels really good. So, and it comes with the whole set of unicorn accessories, like our analis magic pin. And yeah, it has like puppy stickers, like the whole nine yards. So it's like really fun. Everyone needed fun this year. So we came out with, it has like, you know, puppy stickers like the whole the whole nine yards. So it's like some really fun. Everyone needed fun this year. So we came out with something that was like, you know, kind of a little throwback to you.

Beautiful products. And you do make anal fun. Like I feel like just hearing you talk about it right now, I feel like we're just going to have a whole anal revolution. Let's hope. Let's go. Have some fun, you guys. Try it out. Okay, Alicia, I'm going to ask you the five questions we ask all of our guests, the quickie questions. Okay, here we go. Biggest turn on. Oh, God, I like deep voices in hand.

Biggest turn off. I hate like noodles. What makes good sex? Definitely, I think it's like a dynamic, something the energy, like energy makes good sex? Definitely. I think it's like a dynamic, something the energy, like energy makes good sex. Something you tell your younger self about sex and relationships. Enjoy yourself more.

What's the number one thing you wish everyone knew about sex? That it's supposed to be fun. Well, you do it, Alicia. You may get off on, we're gonna people find you. I don't personally have social media, but you can find be by on Instagram, on our website. Okay, well we love you, we love you so much. I'm so glad you're here.

I love that you get to come more. I know once a year we have our anal tour, but it's so helpful, Alicia, truly. And everyone can check out more about B-Bib, and we'll put some of these links in the show notes, and I just so appreciate you. Thank you for your time. Thank you for having me. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like,

subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to podcasts and share this with a friend or a partner. Believe me, if you got something out of this, they will too. We released two to three episodes a week. Find me on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. It's all at Sex with Emily. If you want to ask me a question about sex dating or relationships, you can email me feedback at sexwithemily.com or sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily. And check out my website. We have so many articles on there helping you better sex.

And you can check out our guides at sexwithemily.com slash guides for free guides that will give you expansive tips and activities. Sign up for weekly emails, because hey, I've been told I give really good emails. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO Emily.com.